We continue with comments from Rav Eliezer Papo, in his Sefer Orot Elim. In the Gemara in Masechet Sotah (2A), it says, “ Yehuda said, in the name of Rav, ‘Forty days before conception, a heavenly echo announces, “Bat Ploni L’Ploni/The daugher of so-and-so will marry so-and-so, Sedeh Ploni L’Ploni/the field of so-and-so will go to so-and-so.” He continues and says , “ Our books tell u s i t’s not just when it comes to fields, but even when it comes to movable objects, everything that a person is supposed to get is decided. W hen you pay attention to this , you won’t get upset a t someone that refused to take your daughter. This is a common area of insult. When it comes to sh idduchim , if someone is not interested in going out with your son or daughter, people get all insulted. But he says that if a person really realizes that Bat Ploni L’Ploni, Hashem decided, then he won’t get upset at this person who is refusing a sh idduch with his family. We can a lso learn apply this to when a person is trying to buy a house , a car or any other movable item. When someone outbids him, he starts getting upset at the person for stealing the deal from him, but it’s just like Bat Ploni L’Ploni …etc this is all decided by Hashem. He continues and says, “ You won’t chase anything with tremendous strength and power.” Of course you do your hishtadlut , but you don’t chase it because if it’s not supposed to come to you, it won’t. If it was decided in Shamayim, it will come to you with song. This means you don’t have to kill yourself over things. If it’s supposed to come to you, go through the normal processes and it will come. In the the sefer Pele Yoetz, on the topic of Mechira , he writes that when a person has to sell his property (For example, lo Alenu , a lady has to sell her ring or a man has to sell his car, because they are strapped for cash), he may feel dejected. But he says that a person has to think that everything is decided from the heavens ; it says, Bayit Ploni L’Ploni, This person’s house should go to so-and- so. This person once owned the house, and now he has to sell it . S ometimes even it says that Malbush Ploni L’Ploni clothing should go from one person to another . He says that these are the wonders of God . Only God knows why these things happen. Why do people have to sell the ir silver or jewelry jewelry? But he says that normally a person ’s silver goes to somebody else when has v’ shalom , they pass away. And their property goes to somebody else as an inheritance. Therefore, a person should th ank God and be happy that he is alive, and that it was decided that his house should go to somebody , but at least it was while he’s alive . He should realize that it is all for his benefit and his good to bring ka para . And he should realize that he had a faultering , it’s just for a moment. Hashem c an turn everything else around …. As simple and well-known as all of these things are, it takes constant work. He says, Lo Yakpid/ It should be that it doesn’t bother you in your heart at all. That is hard. Baruch Hashem’s I am married quite a while, but I still remember that when I was in Israel learning, my parents were working on as sh idduch for me. I was all excited about it, but when I got home and ask ed them about it . they said the other side didn’t want. It was a little insulting. Ba ruch Hashem , I met my wife and I’m much better off than the first girl they suggested. But I still remember that somebody said no to me. Looking back, I can’t even remember the girl ’s name of the family’s name , and I’m sure I’m doing much better. But it shouldn’t take us 30 years to figure it out. We should feel it at the time. A great rabbi once lost money (perhaps an expensive vase fell and broke). His wife was very upset , but he wasn’t. He told h er , “ I magine if it was 30 years later. How would you feel about it?“ She said that s he wouldn’t really care. So he told her that his mind worked a little faster he rs, and he was already holding 30 years later. That is the point. If anyone gets insulted now, about a shidduch or anything , fast forward 30 years - you’ll be happily married with grandchildren. You won’t even remember their names. But the challenge is to be able to feel that way at the time. Lo Yakpid/ It should not bother you at all. Because Bat Ploni, Sedeh Ploni….etc, it is all decided by Hashem, all for our own good. Have a wonderful day.