Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast: Recent Episodes
Precious Detina
The relationship between a mother and daughter is one of the most important relationships a woman will have. Join Precious Detina as she interviews guests and shares personal experiences on navigating difficult mother-daughter relationships and how to be content if there is no relationship at all. If you want to heal the wounds received from having an absent, part-time or neglectful mother and understand the residual effects of being unmothered, this is the podcast for you! LET’S HEAL, FORGIVE AND THRIVE!
It’s been over a year since my last episode. I have truly been struggling. In silence. Life has been all over the place and I had no choice but to retreat and get my mind right. While some think that I have been acting funny, being distant, or standoffish, in reality I was barely making it. In this episode, I explain what has been happening with me and what I have learned from it. It’s been a minute but I’m back, baby!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/unmotherednoproblem/message
I was motivated to record this episode after watching Jeen-Yuhs on Netflix. I absolutely loved the relationship that Kanye West had with his mother! She was his #1 fan and loudest cheerleader. It was beautiful to watch. I never expected to get online and see people compare Donda to their own mothers and blame their mothers for their failures. Stating they didn’t accomplish their goals because they didn’t have a mother like Donda. They didn’t go to college because their mom was toxic and they blame her. I was extremely disgusted! These were adult women! You don’t have much choice as kids but there is no excuse for an adult to blame another for the way their life turned out. This is why I had to do this episode. I had some stuff to get off my chest.
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I was so motivated to get this message out! It’s healing time!! In this episode, I share 5 pivotal things that I had to grasp and fully understand before I was able to see a real difference in my healing process. Listen, digest, and move accordingly!
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In this episode, I interview Joycelyn Johnson, a Clinical Counselor from Ohio. In an effort to help others heal from their trauma, Joycelyn left corporate America and, in her 50's, went back to school and opened True Calling Counseling & Consulting Services, LLC. The mother of 2, now adult boys, she shares the challenges she faced trying to raise them without allowing her childhood traumas to interfere. Spirituality, communication, honesty, and laughter are just a few things she shared with me that helped her parent from a safe place. This interview was like talking to someone I've known for a long time! We laughed and shared jokes, but mostly I listened to the many parenting nuggets Joycelyn dropped. You may want to grab a pen and paper because you will need it! Check out Joycelyn's book on Amazon, Decision Making with God in Mind: A process in helping alleviate anxiety and hopelessness. Visit Joycelyn's website: True Calling Counseling & Consulting Services, LLC Email her at www.johnson.joycelyn67@gmail.com We discussed the Feelings Wheel in this episode so Joycelyn provided us with a link to one that she uses.
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Hey y’all! What y’all been doing??
In this episode, I explain the reason for my dry spell and briefly mention what I have in the works for the future of Unmothered + Unbothered!
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This is the last part of the 4-hour interview that I had with Amanda as she told me her story of growing up with a mother in a cult. In episode 71, Amanda describes her mother's final days and shares the things her mother went through during the last few years of her life. In this episode, we discuss the aftermath of growing up with a mother in a cult and why we think the destruction of her mother's soul was more about HER than her mother.
I hope you have enjoyed Amanda's story and her transparency. This is a one-of-a-kind account that I am so blessed to have the opportunity to share. I appreciate your patience in getting the episodes released. I have never faced so many issues when it comes to releasing content and I believe that was on purpose. I am a spiritual person and I feel that the attacks on my life happened so that Amanda's story wouldn't get out. But that's just me.
Check Amanda out on IG @cambridgestorm
Amanda also owns a skateboard company out of LA called Westside Mage. Check it out at westsidemage.com
Keep in touch!
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I’m this episode, we find out just how much Amanda’s mom’s life was devastated by the cult. Listen as she describes her mother going from upper class to homeless, all while still following the cult leader. The episode’s ending will leave you in tears. There is also a spiritual component that will give you chills. Enjoy!!
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Episode 2 ended with a cliff hanger! Amanda was convinced by the cult leader to accuse her own father of raping her. She knew it wasn't true but decided to go along with it just for the torture to stop. She didn't fully understand the implications of her words and didn't expect what happened next!
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This is part 2 and there is a huge bomb dropped at the end of the episode! Part 1 explained Amanda's background and how her mom got connected to the woman that will destroy her and those closest to her.
Stay tuned for part 3!!
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An orchestrated meeting with a stranger leads Amanda's mom to run through her 401k, buy a condo for the stranger, buy a brand new car for the stranger's daughter and ultimately leave her mom broke and homeless.
These are just a few details you will hear in this series. There couldn't be a better episode to jump-start my comeback! In this episode, I interview Amanda about her growing up with a mother that was in a cult until the day she died. This ended up being a 4-hour interview, full of twists and turns that I was not ready for! This is part 1 but I will be dropping the other parts weekly until we are done. Listen carefully! You won't want to miss a thing!
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This interview is gritty, raw, and uncut! “MJ” holds nothing back as she tells us the horrific details of her childhood. We are all going to endure some hardships but they are all unique to our situations. Let me be the first to say that I can’t fathom living through what she has. I applaud her for telling her story and I am proud of her for not allowing where she has been to dictate what she has done in life.
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This interview was a long time in the making. Imani Brooks-Wheeler has listened to the podcast for about a year at the time of this recording. She silently listened until it was her time to share her story. Well, that time has come! Imani shares her unique story of being able to sympathize with her mother from a very young age. She understood that it was hard for her mother to be there for her during childhood due to her fighting her own personal demons. Imani shows us what it means to be honest AND honorable while discussing your mother wound. She has provided a much needed example for those that feel like what I am creating with my podcast is disrespectful towards our mothers. It is not. Tune-in as we chat about relinquishing control and allowing God to have the final say when it comes to saving our mothers. Laugh with us as we discuss those times where we had it all wrong in life and being thankful for clarity. Finally, hear how Imani currently honors her mother's wishes, demonstrating that honoring your parents takes on many meanings. Two of my favorite Imani Jewels: "You reap what you sow, not where you sow." "Control is protection from a place of pain." Ways to contact Imani: Email: www.meetimani.com Twitter:@meetimanidotcom IG: @meetimanidotcom_ FB: Imani Brooks-Wheeler
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In this episode, I speak with Sabrina about growing up with a mother that was too trusting and carefree. As a result, Sabrina had to grow up before her time and experienced some things that she will never forget. Although her mother has a giving heart, Sabrina often shuffled between her home and her grandmother's home because her mother did not provide a stable place for her to live. She often lost the rent money on extracurricular activities, claiming that God would find a way to provide for them. Her attention was always focused on the men in her life, who were an unwelcomed, unhealthy addition to their lives. Sabrina is now an adult with her own family and her mother has yet to "grow up", which resulted in Sabrina taking her sister into her home at the age of 3. She is now a 19-year-old college student. What was supposed to be a temporary fix until her mother pulled it together, turned into a permanent situation. Sabrina figured this would happen, so her primary goal all through college was to obtain her degree so that she could create a stable home for her sister to grow up in.
Losing her hearing at the age of 3, being molested by several men from the age of 5, and holding a secret about her uncle for years so that her cousins would not be without their father, did not stop Sabrina from accomplishing her goals. She made no excuses and still does not. She has learned to create boundaries with her mother without guilt and accepts her for who she is. I am so proud of the woman Sabrina has fought to become and I know you all will be too!
Memorable quote:
"At 13 I revealed to my mother that my Uncle had had sex with me on several occasions and I didn't want her to tell anyone because I didn't want my cousins to be without a father. So in return, my mother blackmailed him and made him provide me school clothes every year. His wife unknowingly would take me shopping."
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There is a natural inclination to run from those things, people, and places that trigger us. This is assuming that we even know what our triggers are because most of us mistake our strong emotional reactions for passion and that is not always the case. We also run from our triggers because they scare us but we learn so much from those triggers. This episode is a quick look at why its important to delve into those triggers and embrace them.
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I know how I used to feel about forgiveness so I never want to force my current opinions on others. I do want to be able to tell my story and encourage others to take a close look at themselves and question whether they truly are "okay" with not forgiving someone. I used to think that I was not harboring ill feelings towards my mother and that forgiving her was not necessary until I began to notice my own toxic behaviors. All I'm asking is that you stay true to yourself when it comes to what you need to feel whole.
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This week I have decided to re-publish my very 1st episode, which happens to be the one with the most downloads. Lately, I have been reminded more and more of how important it is to be authentic to who I really am. Not because I want to be phony, but because I am constantly being told that I am too much. This is especially the case in professional settings because I am so passionate about what I do. Being told to relax or to hear coworkers say that I do "too much" is commonplace for me and I work hard every day to ensure I continue to show up, authentically.
Dealing with this in the workplace can be tough for any of us for many reasons, but especially because we already battle imposters syndrome. We also fight against feelings of inadequacies because of the toxic relationships we had with our mothers, therefore this extra layer is frustrating. I re-published this episode to help all of us battle these feelings and to serve as the reminder we need to never water ourselves down or apologize for who we are.
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In this episode, I explain what self-loathing is and give specific examples. I also discuss the importance of not allowing other people's insecurities to shape your view of yourself. Self-loathing does not have to be a lifelong battle. You are in control of your own life and there is still hope.
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In this episode, I explain what passive-aggressiveness is and how it plays out in people's actions. I use a personal story as an example to show what it looks like in real-time. I personally am not a fan of passive-aggressive people because I am more confrontational in nature. In my opinion, there is no benefit in holding something that will eventually manifest in another way. Be up-front about it so that we can move on.
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In this episode, I discuss smear campaigns, also known as social media draggings. You know, when someone attempts to embarrass and discredit you online because they need people on their side? They make videos or create outlandish posts aimed at you, hoping to get a rise out of you. Why do people do that? What are their actions REALLY about? Let's talk about it!
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Why do we suppress our feelings instead of showing them? Why do we equate certain feelings to being soft, hostile, and inadequate? The answer is simple: we were never taught how to process our feelings. We were taught that suppressing our feelings somehow gives us the upper hand. It does not. What we are feeling will come out one way or another and we will be forced to deal with them.
In this episode, I discuss how we can become comfortable with feeling and why it's important.
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Why do we feel that people should except the ugly parts of us just because its how we've always been? Why do we not feel that we should change those things? Saying "that's just the way I am" is just another way of saying "oh well" to the hurt, pain, frustration, and embarrassment that we may cause other people. That attitude is very dismissive and selfish. There is a way to be yourself but do it in a way that reflects positivity. That take it or leave it attitude may get you left!
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In this episode, I interview Tracie Osborne about how she had to make a conscious decision to parent her sons, intentionally. She parented her kids the same way she was parented until she realized it was wrong. Listen as she explains when and why she found it necessary to pivot her parenting.
Email: tracieosbornespeaks@gmail.com
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www.tracieosborne.com
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Please excuse me as I let off some steam! LOL, It is not often that I go off like this but it's needed sometimes.
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When you grow up with an untraditional relationship with your mother, it can be very awkward when the topic of MAMAS comes up in conversation. You're not sure what to say because you cannot relate to what's being said. Or you do chime in but seem to always say the wrong thing because you honestly do not understand the mother-daughter dynamic as it is supposed to be. In addition, you may be nervous about being asked too many questions about your mother, which forces you to decide if you want to share the truth and risk being judged or pitied, or change the subject and make it awkward for those involved.
In this episode, I share tips that I use when the inevitable topic of mothers comes up in conversation. The key is to not allow yourself to feel like the strange one. Your story is your story and there is nothing you can do about it. Your experiences made you into the wonderfully unique person you are today and the world would not be the same without you!
This episode is sponsored by Blink Beautiful Lashes, where they believe that everyone should blink beautifully!
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In this anonymous episode, I interview "Tanesha" about how her unmothered childhood has impacted her friendships and romantic relationships. This is her first time telling her story and she does a great job of painting a picture of what physical & emotional abuse looks like at the hands of your own mother. You do not want to miss this one!
This episode is sponsored by @blinkbeautifullashes on Instagram. Listen to find out how to get free shipping on your order.
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In this episode, I give actionable steps that will help you teach people how to treat you. What you allow is what will continue.
This episode is sponsored by Gemini Flyii. Where Tribal meets Bohemian Chic. To check out handmade jewelry for your personal style, visit https://www.geminiflyii.com/ Listen to the episode for a secret discount code!!
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In episode 50 I discussed how to recognize Emotional Manipulators. In this episode, I explain ways to respond to them. IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast FB: https://m.facebook.com/Unmotheredandunbotheredpodcast/ Twitter: @theycallmepresh Tumblr: PreciousDetina Blog: https://preciousdetina.com Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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After a short hiatus, the Unmothered + Unbothered podcast is back. In this episode, I detail the signs of emotional manipulation and provide specific examples of how it may look. You will be surprised at how many of these signs you recognize in others AND yourself. Knowing these signs will make you re-evaluate your relationships and make necessary adjustments. Stay tuned for an episode on how to respond to emotional manipulators. Hit that subscribe button so you won’t miss it! This episode is sponsored by Gemini Flyii. Where Tribal meets Bohemian Chic. To check out handmade jewelry for your personal style, visit https://www.geminiflyii.com/ Listen to the episode for a secret discount code!! IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast FB: https://m.facebook.com/Unmotheredandunbotheredpodcast/ Twitter: @theycallmepresh Tumblr: PreciousDetina Blog: https://preciousdetina.com Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com Follow my Amazon author page and check out my one-of-a-kind journals, designed by me: https://www.amazon.com/Leilani-Grace/e/B089DP8QR6 Please 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ RATE & REVIEW in iTunes ✔️SUBSCRIBE and ✔️SHARE
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This is the episode you’ve all been waiting for, even if you didn’t know you were waiting! I am so excited about this one! Introducing Ms. Rose, the woman that gave birth to all this fabulousness called Precious Detina! Listen as we discuss self-love, the bible, and shame. What you will also hear is years of frustration, pain, anger, resentment, and PRIDE being washed away by growth and forgiveness!
The rapport we have in this interview is all due to doing the work and divine intervention! Enjoy and please share!
There is hope!
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Sending light and love to the unmothered today!
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In this impromptu episode, I explain how an explosive argument with an ex and going no contact with my mother evoked similar feelings, and led to me cutting them both off!!
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In this episode I interviewed “Nicole”, who wished to remain anonymous. She shares a different aspect of toxic mothers that some would call MATERNAL ENMESHMENT. This can essentially be described as a mother being overly and inappropriately involved in their (in this case) daughters life. She lives through the daughter and depends on her for physical and emotional support in most cases. The mother does not want the daughter to have any independence and will guilt her if she has her own mind. There are many layers and degrees to enmeshment and in this episode you’ll hear “Nicole’s” version.
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So many of us have a hard time complimenting ourselves. Patting ourselves on the back. Extending grace to ourselves. Well until you feel comfortable doing it, I GOT YOU!!
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Taking a risk doesn’t make you wack. Not taking it does!
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Listen to this story about what happened to me today!
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Although its easy, fight against it!
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We all are afraid to make a wrong decision in our lives but we cannot let that fear paralyze us. Oftentimes when we are afraid to make our own decisions, we lean on the advice of others. Subconsciously we want to share the blame in case something goes wrong. Get out of that habit! Trust yourself to make decisions about your own life! So what if it ends up being the wrong decision! Find the lesson in it and move on!! Be encouraged!
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Its late and I almost forgot...but I didn’t! Here’s your daily affirmation episode!
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Just in case you are ashamed of your past...tighten up, buttercup! There is nothing to be ashamed of!
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This is the first episode in my Affirmation Series. I have compiled a few short episodes, designed to breathe life into everyone that listens!
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This episode hit home for me because I can relate to practically every characteristic of Dismissive Avoidants. At the same time, it gave me such a release and sense of peace because I know that there is a reason behind my actions. I now have to commit to continuing to work on being the best version of myself I can possibly be. I’m up for the challenge!
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Brenna Wilder, health & wellness entrepreneur and author of Wholly Healing, joins me this week and drops some major jewels! She has a passion for mental health, specifically family & childhood trauma. We connected via podcastguests.com and I am so happy we were able to chat. Growing up in a Lebanese family played a major part in the way toxicity and trauma were dealt with within her family. She shares how she was once homeless before moving into public housing with her family at 12, her suicide attempt at 14, and having to take care of her family at 16. Her stories about love and heartbreak will send you reeling and the epiphany that finally sent her to therapy will have you cheering! Grab a pen and paper to catch the jewels she dropped. My favorite: "The same boiling water that makes a potato soft makes an egg hard; situations affect people differently". Whew!!! You can hear the excitement in my voice throughout the episode! This is a good one and I know you will enjoy it.
IG: @brennawilder and @bodiesbybrenna | FB: Brenna Wilder Biz IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast | FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com Music track produced by @akilpratt on IG Please 5 STAR RATE AND REVIEW in iTunes, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE Books mentioned: The Toxic Parent and It Didn't Start With You
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In this episode, I share one of the many DM's I receive from women wanting to know what I would do in certain situations. My response is coming from what I would do PERSONALLY. I am in no way telling anyone what to do. Follow me on IG @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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In this episode, I explain what core wounds are and why you need to connect to the source of your wounds in order to heal them. The "source" is not a person or people, but more about the wound that remained after trauma took place. For example, my mother not raising me left a core wound of rejection. This core wound has kept me from making genuine connections with some people and has caused me to reject others before they reject me. A few common core wounds are abandonment, betrayal, abuse, and rejection. Core wounds vary so make sure you research to find what fits you. If you do not know how to discover your core wounds, here are a few ways to discover them: Pay attention to your triggers, listen to your body, and spend time recording your thoughts and feelings.
Listen to the episode to hear the traits that you may exhibit if you have unhealed core wounds.
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Music track produced by @akilpratt on IG
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Shawn Marshall joins me on this episode as we discuss boundaries, maternal abandonment, drug addiction, teen pregnancy, suicide and more. After listening to episode 26: No Contact Was Best, featuring Black Cat, Shawn had the courage to go no contact with her mom without feeling guilty. She joins me from Virginia, where she lives with her husband and six-year-old son. At the current age of 38, she is positioned to retire from the military in 2 years. Shawn and I became fast friends as we bonded over stories of trauma and pain. Through this newfound friendship, we hope to work through the forgiveness process so that healing can take place, ultimately sharing stories of peace and prosperity.
cmarsh0721@gmail.com
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This week on Tell Us About it Tuesday (or what was supposed to be TUAT), we have April Mack out of Birmingham, AL, creator of Kick | Box | Sculpt and host of the Warm Up, Cool Down Podcast. April and I go back 20 years to undergrad and it was great catching up with her. She discusses how she left corporate America to follow her passion and how she finds the most joy out of the non-paying gigs she gets. You also don't want to miss the story of how she was stopped in the grocery store by a woman she never met, only to be told something that would forever stay in her heart. What started as a short spotlight, ended up being a memorable conversation about finding your passion, maintaining peace and raising a 15-year-old. If you are contemplating a change in your journey or are the parent to a teenager (bless you), you have to take a listen.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast | @preciousdetina
FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | The Unmothered + Unbothered Group
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
IG: @aprilmackfit | @gauntletfitness | @mpowerbhm @kickboxsculpt
FB: April Mackattack
Email: mackfitcontact@gmail.com
Background track, Cold Maybe, produced by @akilpratt
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I am often asked about my ability to make decisions based on what is good for me. Sometimes that means upsetting or disappointing other people, but that comes with the territory. I have to have peace in my life and within my heart, so when making decisions I consider this first. In my life this often looks like creating boundaries for certain people or cutting them out of my life all-together. Though not always the easiest thing to do, it is always whats best for my sanity.
I believe that being confident in who you are and trusting your decision-making is the key. How do you get there? By loving yourself, unconditionally. This takes time and exploration and is truly a lifelong journey, however, it will change your life once achieved. You will begin to see things differently and make decisions about your life with your peace of mind at the forefront of those decision-making processes. It does not mean that you won't care about other people or their feelings, but it WILL mean that you will stop putting other people's feelings ahead of yours.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
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Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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In this episode, I discuss my concern for people that feel they don’t need any friends or make no effort to be a good friend. I express my gratitude to all of the friends that I had growing up and how amazing they were to me during my times of need. Whether it was allowing me to wash clothes at their house, feeding me or allowing me to borrow clothes, I appreciate them! I give a shoutout to several of those friends at the end and add how many years we’ve been friends. I appreciate them more than I could ever articulate!
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This week's Tell Us About it Tuesday features Cassie of Cassie's World podcast. Listen in as she tells me all about how and why she got started podcasting and her plans for 2020. She is a woman on a mission and I am here for it! Be sure to check her out on Instagram and on her website. Links below. IG: thepodcastcassiesworld Website: Cassie's World
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On this week's Tell Us About it Tuesday, I sit down with my friend, in real life, Nekos Davis. He is the host of Views From a Jerk podcast, a show in which his logic is the only logic that matters. If you want to hear a point of view that is probably unlike yours, tune in. Nekos is a highly opinionated, sarcastic comedienne, that will always bless you with a song. This 20 minute conversation will allow a small glimpse into what most of our conversations are like. You're welcome.
IG: itsnekos
Twitter: wheresNekos
Website: itsnekos.com
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In this episode, I discuss some of the lies that we were told by our mothers growing up. Mothers are supposed to uplift, encourage and inspire, but there are many that discourage, berate, and guilt. When you grow up hearing so many negative things about yourself, it is hard to see yourself as anything but what you were told you are. It's time for a change. All of the negativity your mama spewed at you in an effort to beat you down, were lies! Don't believe any of it! You are intelligent, capable and dope AF! How other people view you is NOT your business! Don't internalize that negativity!
IG: Unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
FB: The Unmothered and Unbothered Podcast
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Background track produced by @akilpratt on IG
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In this episode, I am joined by author and avid listener Black Cat. She saw my comment on a Youtube video and was so intrigued that she did a little digging to find my email. The rest is history. In this interview, we discuss why going no contact with her mom was best for her and how it was growing up in a house where she was belittled and constantly ridiculed. We find common ground when discussing how tough it is to unlearn the negative things we were told about ourselves growing up, even though we now know we were not the issue. You don't want to miss my first interview!
Email: write2blackcat@protonmail.com
Find Black Cat's books on Amazon
For the Adult Daughters of Evil, Fake, Disrespectful, Sabotaging, Wishy-Washy, Lying-Ass, Unkind, Self-Righteous, Unappreciative, Toxic, Never Satisfied, Manipulative, and Unsupportive Faux-Mothers!
They Call Us The Combative Ones: The Relationship Between Brave Adult Daughters Of Narcissistic Mothers And The Abusive Workplace Environments We Are Forced To Eventually Confront
IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast | FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Music track produced by @akilpratt on IG
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The truth is, I really don’t like the holiday season. It makes me sad but I fight through it. There are so many people that feel the same way. Just know that you are not alone.
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In this installment of Tell us About it Tuesday, I interview Jasmine Patton, Founder of Black Girls Have Good Credit 2, owner of Jazzy's Paradise Getaways and author of Black Girls Have Good Credit 2: Book of Poems. She is a woman on the move, determined to define her own destiny by following the path God has cleared just for her.
FB: Black Girlz Have Good Credit 2 | Jazzy's Paradise Getaways
Email: BGHGC2@gmail.com
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In the first installment of Tell Us About it Tuesday, I interview Ginger, creator of Gemini Flyii and Voice of the Makers podcast host. Gemini Flyii is Boho + Tribal infused handmade jewelry. Ginger finds beauty in a myriad of things and as a result finds inspiration in things that most would not. She also channels her creativity through her podcast and her new custom shirt line. She represents for all makers and we are so excited to have her on the show. Website: https://www.geminiflyii.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/geminiflyii/ | https://www.instagram.com/voiceofthemakers/ Facebook: Gin Gemini Flyii Windham
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We all have family secrets and know others that have family secrets. It’s no surprise that there are things that are not to be disclosed to everyone but what if the secret being kept is damaging to the entire family?
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An impromptu episode about telling your family no and how to deal with the aftermath.
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In this episode, I discuss ways that I was able to free myself from a manipulative situation. I revisit the 6 signs of being gaslighted from episode 20 and explain how I directly applied them to my life. It was not an immediate change and I had to work hard at loving myself and demanding the treatment I knew I deserved. The key to freeing yourself from the manipulative hold of a gaslighting mother is self-love and trusting your choices and intuition. Seek validation from within instead of from external sources. FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Email: Unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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Welcome to the gaslighting episode! This is by far Precious Detina's favorite episode to date because gaslighting is so prevalent! We explore the definition of gaslighting, specifically maternal gaslighting, and how it can affect you adversely in adulthood. Get your pen and paper and jot down these 6 signs that you were gaslighted by your mother. Did your mother:
Make you question your past? Make you think your feelings aren't valid? Compete with you? Compare you to your sibling(s)? Show envy towards you/hinder your successes? Do one thing but say another?
If so, LISTEN NOW!!!
IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast | FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com Please 5 STAR RATE AND REVIEW in iTunes, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE
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In episode 19, Precious Detina updates listeners on what has been going on in her life, including visiting her mother! It has been several years since she's seen her and she didn't know what to expect. There is also a passionate discussion that focuses on healthy communication and why most people do not have a clue what that is. Precious expresses her disdain for the way some mothers speak to their children and sadness because those children have no idea that they are being disrespected and verbally & emotionally abused. Listeners are encouraged to demand to be spoken to in a respectful manner, regardless of who is speaking to you, even your own mother. It is time to stand up for yourselves and teach people how to treat you. IG: Unmothered and Unbothered | FB Group: The Unmothered + Unbothered Group | Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com | Background track: @akilpratt Please 5 STAR RATE AND REVIEW in iTunes, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE
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Since the motivation behind this podcast is to chronicle the relationship that I have with my mother and share in the frustrations and pain women go through from being unmothered, I thought I should update you on where we are. My mother and I have a long way to go but we are more communicative than ever before. She texts daily and I respond. That may not seem like much to some people but it is huge to me. In this episode, i share some of the things that have been going on with us, specifically things that I credit her for and thank her for. IG: Unmotheredandunbothered FB Group: The Unmothered and Unbothered Group Background track produced by @akilpratt on IG Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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This week’s episode discusses 3 reasons it’s okay to take a break if you’re not feeling inspired. We all experience times in which creativity doesn’t flow. Sometimes we’re just flat out unmotivated. Other times we are emotionally drained and physically spent and need a mental health day. Or five. No worries. Take the time you need and get back on track when you can. IG: @unmotheredandunbothered | @PreciousDetina | FG Group: The Unmothered abs Unbothered Group. Main background track produced by @akilpratt on IG
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Does YOUR fear hold your CHILDREN back? Are they insecure about things you pointed out? Are they afraid to share things with you because they fear you may shoot them down? Parents often have the best intentions for their kids but do not realize that they may be projecting their own fears onto their children. On this episode of Unmothered + Unbothered, Precious Detina discusses this touchy subject and briefly talks about some of the things she sees as an educator. Main background track, Cold Maybe, produced by @akilpratt on IG. IG: Unmothered and Unbothered | FB Group: The Unmothered + Unbothered Group | Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com Please 5 STAR RATE AND REVIEW in iTunes, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE
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The title is self explanatory. Have a great week!
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Precious Detina calls out people that want you to waddle in your mistakes and encourages you not to fall for it! Admit the mistake, apologize and move on. Outro music produced by @akilpratt on IG IG: Unmotheredandunbothered FB Group: The Unmothered and Unbothered Group Email: Unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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This episode hit very close to home as Precious takes a brief look at honesty and whether people use it as an excuse to be rude and hurtful. She also explains a surefire way to determine the difference.
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In this episode, Precious explains how wrong people are about her upon first interaction. She takes responsibility for the misconception but is unsure how to change it.
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My sis, Ginger or GeminiFlyii to most, has challenged me to release a 5 minute podcast for 5 days straight. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Being that my podcast is so specific in nature, I’ve decided to use these 5 minute episodes to share more about myself. This is the perfect way to engage a more diverse audience and allow a deeper dive into who Precious Detina really is! I’m going to start with the question I get the most! This will be interesting! Intro and Outro Produced by Akil Pratt. Follow him @akilpratt on IG Challenged by: @geminiflyii Challenging: @viewsfromajerk IG: @unmotheredandunbothered FB: The Unmothered and Unbothered Group
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Follow along as Precious Detina tells the story of a friend who refuses to allow her mother-in-law to be the mother she never had. In this episode, Precious explains how it feels to experience a Mother-daughter relationship, even if it is not with your biological mother and what you could potentially miss out on if you fight it. She even dared to say that her friend NEEDED her MIL’s relationship whether she realized it or not. Although she is being a little pushy, her MIL’s heart is in the right place. IG: Unmothered and Unbothered | FB Group: The Unmothered + Unbothered Group | Please 5 STAR RATE AND REVIEW in iTunes, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE
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On this week’s episode, we discuss trauma triggers. Host, Precious Detina, tells us a funny yet relevant story about her own experience with a trauma trigger. It’s funny now but was a terrifying experience that left her wondering if she was overreacting or had she been triggered. Hit that play button to find out.
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Precious Detina is ready to tell her story. All of it. In order to do so, she will have to have some very uncomfortable conversations with those that may be a part of her story. In this episode, she explains that telling your truth does not betray others. Hiding or omitting your truth is not an option when seeking to be free. Your truth is your story and it never changes. Click the link to listen to her interview on the To Emerge Podcast, where she explains how she ended up on a Greyhound bus from NY to AL at the age of 15. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/to-emerge/id1391876865?i=1000441121600
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Just because I'm carrying it doesn't mean its not heavy. Let that sink in.
In this episode, Precious discusses the importance of not being presumptuous in assuming that people are okay. Just because people don't LOOK like they are carrying a heavy load does not mean they are not. Some people are barely making it: dragging their loads, switching hands, slinging it across their backs...but they are making it. Them being able to thrive does not minimize your wrongdoing in their lives. We must all acknowledge our part and not assume they are unaffected. An apology is still in order. Accepting responsibility is still in order. Checking on them to make sure they are REALLY okay is STILL IN ORDER. The seemingly strong friend needs to be checked on too.
Keep Up With Me: Facebook and Instagram - Unmothered and Unbothered | Podcast Platforms: Unmothered + Unbothered
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This episode is a long time coming! SHE'S STILL YOUR MOTHER is a very damaging, dismissive and judgmental statement that so many are guilty of using. Most people do not mean much by it and simply say it because it seems like the right thing to say, while others truly believe that one should stick by their mother's side regardless of what she's done. This episode points out 3 things that everyone should know about this statement. Please listen with an open heart and mind so that true understanding can take place.
Who This Episode is For:
Unmothered women Women raised with their mothers and had what would be deemed a normal childhood, but notices as an adult that there was and IS some dysfunction in the relationship. People that do not think its okay to "speak ill" of mothers and do not agree with limiting contact or cutting a mother off completely. They also don't believe in discussing her shortcomings publicly.
Key Take-A-Ways:
Blood relation is not a reason to tolerate abuse, belittlement OR manipulation If someone is toxic, pull back or cut them off. We all get one life to live so be selective on who or what you allow in your life and eliminate whatever or whomever gives you the blues. Choose sanity over a relationship
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In this encouraging episode, Precious Detina speaks life into women that may feel they are less than, inadequate, or not worthy of the same blessings and benefits reaped upon women who were raised with their mothers. She implores them to know their worth and walk confidently into any room or situation they find themselves in because THEY BELONG THERE!
IG: UnmotheredandUnbothered FB: Unmothered and Unbothered
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This impromptu episode is all about showing love to great mothers. Precious had something on her heart and she wanted to share it with the wonderful mothers out there! Let us be the first to say -- Happy Mother's Day!
IG: UnmotheredandUnbothered FB:Unmothered and Unbothered
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faux /fō/ adjective not genuine; fake or false In this episode, Precious discusses the 5 steps or processes she has gone through and is currently going through on the journey to forgiving her absent mother. There once was a time in which she thought she had forgiven her mother, however, she realized over the years that she still harbored ill feelings towards her. Her forgiveness had not been genuine. It was faux. Its time to get real!
Intro and Outro Voice over: Selah11 via Fiverr.com Intro track: This is Soul Hip Hop by STEREO_JAM
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This is a teaser for episode 2 Faux Forgiveness, where I describe the very moment I knew I had to forgive my mother or turn into a monster.
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This inaugural episode is the first in a four part series that will Dare You to Strip and force you to be your authentic self. If you want to move from being emotionally depleted to being full of joy and contentment, GET NAKED! Expose yourself so you don’t have to worry about someone doing it for you.
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In this trailer, Precious gives a brief explanation for why she feels its necessary to create a space for the unmothered women of the world and what she hopes to accomplish with the podcast. By committing to being transparent and taking the mask off, she hopes to build a community of women that will support one another and become a safe haven for so many that have nowhere to unmask. It's time to heal, forgive and thrive!
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