The Writership Podcast Editing Tips For Fiction Authors: Recent Episodes
Leslie Watts, Story Grid Certified fiction editor
On the Writership Podcast, professional book editors Leslie Watts critiques five pages of fiction from writers who are, or soon hope to be, traditionally or independently published. The submissions come from actual authors who understand they may need help seeing the flaws in their stories and are brave enough to share this experience so that you might improve your writing too.
In this episode, Story Grid certified editor Leslie Watts takes a small detour from the usual format to discuss World Building, the way you craft the domain your characters inhabit. She offers several exercises to help improve your story by strengthening your world.
In this episode, Story Grid certified editor Leslie Watts takes a small detour from the usual format to discuss story settings, the place and time where your character gets into and hopefully out of trouble. She offered three exercises to help strengthen your setting and story.
We all have some idea of what a resolution is, but what are these scene- and story-enders meant to do? In this episode, Story Grid certified editor Leslie Watts explores scene and story resolutions in the context of C. Gabriel Wright’s LBGTQ love story, “Someone.” The editorial mission encourages you to collect resolutions by reading and watching stories—and from your own life.
What are story and scene climaxes? Why do you need them? In this episode, Story Grid certified editor Leslie Watts discusses the decisions your characters make, as well as the actions they take, when faced with a dilemma. You’ll hear Matt Bizzel’s horror story, A Window Out: Or, the Accidental Death of Frank Ortiz and Leslie’s analysis of the scene. The editorial mission encourages you to collect examples of these critical decisions and actions by reading and watching stories—and from your own life.
What are crisis questions? Why do our stories and scenes need them? In this episode, Story Grid certified editor Leslie Watts discusses the dilemmas your characters face on the way to scene and story resolutions in the context of the opening of Jerry Dawson’s science fiction story, Meteor. The editorial mission encourages you to collect crisis questions by reading and watching stories—and from your own life.
What are progressive complications? Why do our stories and scenes need them? This week, Story Grid Certified editor Leslie Watts discusses the people, places, things, and events that stand between your characters and their goals within the context of the opening of Anna Ferguson’s YA science fiction novel, The Empire of Saffron.
What are inciting incidents? Why do our stories and scenes need them? What are the elements of a solid inciting incident? This week, Story Grid Certified editor Leslie Watts discusses these story event catalysts in the context of the opening of Drew Horstman’s fantasy novel, Nicholas Crumb. The editorial mission encourages you to collect inciting incidents by reading and watching stories—and from your own life.
You’ve written lots of scenes for your work in progress, but how do you know whether they work? In this episode, Story Grid Certified editor Leslie Watts shows you how to analyze your scenes by looking at the opening of AW Moyer’s YA fantasy story, The Grim Book.
In this episode, Story Grid Certified Editor Leslie Watts discusses writing with abandon with Grant Faulkner, the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month. They talk about what it means to write with abandon, how to go about it, and why it’s important. In lieu of an editorial mission, Grant shares the word sprint, an old NaNoWriMo practice to help you get your words down—just in time for Camp NaNoWriMo in July.
In this episode, Story Grid Certified Editors Leslie Watts and Anne Hawley discuss literal and essential action in the context of “Madeline,” a short horror story by Nathaniel Patterson.
In this episode, Story Grid certified editors Leslie Watts and Lori Puma critique “Night Fishing,” a coming of age short story by Kevin Glasgow. They discuss how to take your story from pretty good to WOW.
Leslie welcomes James Thorn, an author of dystopian and post-apocalyptic fiction and Story Grid Certified editor, to discuss how you can discover reader expectations related to your sales category.
Intrepid editors Leslie Watts and Anne Hawley talk about when you might want to use second person point of view in the context of David Austin's short story "All American."
In this episode, Leslie talks with poet and creative coach Mark McGuinness from the _21st Century Creative_ podcast about why it’s important to put your writing first—both for you personally and for your creative career. The editorial mission asks you to write something you might not expect.
In this episode, Certified Story Grid editors Leslie Watts and Rebecca Monterusso critique “The Flight,” a science fiction short story by Scott Adam Gordon. They discuss the internal journey or change that characters experience as a result of external events in a story. Leslie and Rebecca then uncover which internal genres might be present in “The Flight.” This week’s editorial mission offers questions to help you identify and craft the internal change at work in your stories.
In this episode, Certified Story Grid editor Leslie Watts and Writership’s first officer, Liz Green, discuss the way things have changed around the podcast and answer some burning questions about the Story Grid, Leslie’s approach to editing, and why you need to tell your story.
In this episode, Certified Story Grid editors Leslie Watts and Courtney Harrell critique the first chapter of _Seeker_, a science fiction novella within the Chaos Nova universe by Smith & Kaos. They discuss conflict within stories and scenes.
Antagonistic forces and obstacles are necessary elements of stories because change within a character comes as the result of dealing with conflict. It is the vehicle through which they change over the course of the entire story, but also incrementally, scene by scene.
Conflicts delay the resolution of every unit of story (scene, sequence, act, story). If the character achieves a goal for the unit of story without effort or worry, then tension drops and narrative drive wanes. Even if your story overall has great conflict, you’ll tell a better story if each scene contains robust conflict as well.
This week’s editorial mission shows you how to analyze your scenes for conflict so you can make things as tough as possible for your characters.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie Watts and Rachelle Ramirez critique “How I Stumbled into the Golden Cage,” a short story by Jose Arroyo. They discuss genre and how stories that emphasize the protagonist’s inner journey still need structure.
Writers of literary stories can use the steps in the Kubler-Ross grief process to plan and revise the structure of their stories and may find it’s a better fit than other systems suited to more active stories. Even if you’ve written a thriller or an action story, you can use the Kubler-Ross steps to follow your protagonist’s inner journey alongside whatever structure you use for the external events of the story.
One challenge writers face with character-driven stories is how to demonstrate the inner shifts the character experiences without over-relying on thoughts and telling. Leslie and Rachelle talk about ways to dramatize internal events to evoke certain emotions in your reader.
This week’s editorial mission encourages you to use the Kubler-Ross steps to check your protagonist’s internal journey and be sure the important events are present and adequately dramatized.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie Watts and Valerie Francis analyze a scene from _Lock and Key_: the first book in The Essence Riven Trilogy by Emily Bowie. They discuss the crisis question, a moment in a scene when a question arises for the POV character. To keep the story moving, your scenes should turn, more specifically, it should become more or less likely that the protagonist will get what they want and need. When the turn happens within the scene, it’s a natural time for the protagonist or POV character to decide how to respond to the change. This week’s editorial mission will help you identify or add these questions and make them stronger to support your story.
In this episode, Certified Story Grid Editors Leslie Watts and Jay Peters critique the beginning of “What Lives Beneath,” a short story by A.V. Herzberg. The author’s synopsis for the story suggests that the main genre could be Obsession Love Story or Horror. Leslie and Jay talk about how those genres can be translated into story values (in other words, the external change that happens from the beginning to the end of the story). Then they analyze the scene in the submission, including how the scene value changes from beginning to end. Then they discuss ways to strengthen the scene by bringing the value shift into closer alignment with the overall story. This week’s editorial mission challenges you to compare the value shifts in your scene to see how they relate to your global story.
In this episode, fiction editor Leslie Watts and author C. Steven Manley critique “The Highwayman,” a fantasy short story by Jacob Oakley. They discuss genre and why it’s important to choose one primary one. The same characters, setting, and circumstances can give rise to a wide range of stories. When you nail down your primary or global genre, you’ll gain valuable information about the story you want to tell that will help you plan, draft, and revise your story.
In this episode, Leslie is joined by author and Story Grid editor Jarie Bolander. They critique the opening chapters of _The Home Front_, a women’s society novel by Melinda McDonald. Shoe leather, that is description, backstory, and other information that your reader doesn’t need, can weigh down your story. The editorial mission this week will help you to seek out and eliminate shoe leather and use exposition in a more powerful way. Leslie and Jarie also talk about what makes a society story great and how to start your story with a bang.
In this episode, Leslie is joined by Shawn Coyne, the author of T_he Story Grid: What Good Editors Know_. They discuss the five commandments of story in the context of chapter five of _Animal Farm_ by George Orwell and what makes this story a great one to analyze. The five commandments (the inciting incident, progressive complications, crisis question, climax, and resolution) provide the basic structure for your global story, but also your acts, sequences, and scenes, like nesting dolls. If you learn to execute the five commandments in your story, you’ll become a better writer. This week’s mission encourages you to look for the five commandments in one of your favorite stories, and then use them to plan or revise your own work-in-progress.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie Watts and Kim Kessler critique the first chapter of _Passage_, a fantasy/women’s society novel by S. Thies. This week’s author submitted her scene in first- and third-person point of view, providing an opportunity for us to ask, how can you improve your scenes no matter which POV you choose? The answer is MRUs, that is Motivation-Reaction Units. If you practice writing these stimulus-and-response sequences within your scenes, your character’s reactions will make sense and be unique to them. And more importantly, your reader will get to experience the events of the story (as opposed to merely reading about them).
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie Watts and Anne Hawley critique the beginning of Sheila Lischwe’s as yet untitled psychological thriller. They discuss inciting incidents: the submission as a possible inciting incident for the global psychological thriller and also within the scene. These pivotal story events pull the rug out from under your protagonist or POV character. This week’s editorial mission will help you identify the elements of inciting incidents to make your scenes and stories stronger.
Fiction editor Leslie Watts is joined by Liz Green, Writership’s first officer, to discuss the first chapter of _The Left-Handed Gunslinger_, a western fantasy novella by Shaun Gill. In this episode, they explore intentional sentence structure. You have a wide variety of tools to support your story, including the words and sentence structure you choose. The trick is to understand when to use different tools to provide the reading experience you’re aiming for. This week’s editorial mission will help you get granular so you can revise your sentences with intention. Special note: Clark Chamberlain is taking a well-deserved break from the podcast, so we’ll invite guest hosts for the next couple of months.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _The Fifty-Two Week Chronicles_, a chick lit/romantic comedy novel by Joslyn Westbrook. They discuss flashbacks, getting specific, and obtaining feedback when you write about characters and situations that are different from your own.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _The Palace Thief_, a YA fantasy novel by AR Richardson. They discuss omniscient point of view and why you should give it a try if you haven’t. This POV option is often considered old-fashioned, but it offers flexibility and options that you don’t have with the other POVs. While it’s probably the most challenging, you might find that it’s the best vehicle for your story. Speaking of options, Leslie and Clark have a fun editorial mission with lots of choices to help you experiment with the elements of this writing tool.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark talk about self-editing. To get the most from hiring an editor, you'll want to tackle certain tasks before you turn it over. There are plenty of steps you can take to improve your story so that your editor can focus on deeper issues. Be sure to check out the show notes for resources, tips, and this week’s editorial mission, and don’t miss Clark’s Healthy Author Challenge.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark critique the prologue and first chapter of _From the Flame_, a fantasy novel by Kristen Franklin. They discuss where to begin your story. If all the events of the protagonist’s life were laid out in front of you, which is the most powerful moment to use for chapter one?
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie Watts and Anne Hawley critique the first chapter of _Esperanza_, a science fiction horror novel by Mike Ward. They discuss narrative drive. Different people use the term “narrative drive” to mean different things. What we discuss here is the amount of information the reader possesses relative to the character. The reader can have more, less, or the same information the characters in the scene have. In the opening scene of our submission today, the author gives the reader a key piece of information that the character doesn’t have, and it changes the way we experience the scene and the question that compels us to find out what happens next.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Valerie Francis critique the first chapter of _The Arctic Compass_, a middle grade fantasy novel by Ryan Gannon. They discuss how to check your opening scene for tension and special considerations for middle grade fiction.
In this episode, fiction editor Leslie Watts and guest fiction editor Anne Hawley critique the opening pages of _The Bad Shepherd_, a crime story set in Los Angeles in the 1980s, by Dale M. Nelson. They discuss characters and how to make them relatable so your reader can connect with them. This week's editorial mission asks you to capture your character's essence in a sentence.
In this episode, fiction editor Leslie Watts and guest editor Valerie Francis critique the prologue of _Shadow Falls_, a thriller novel by Maxwell Perkins. They discuss the elements of scenes that work and how you can check your own scenes in early drafts.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark critique a scene from *Beneath the Crypt*, a middle grade fantasy novel by Alex Heath. They discuss how to evaluate and revise action scenes. When characters fight, chase each other, or engage in acts of derring-do, it can be hard to keep track of all the moving parts. Often, the clear image of how the action unfolds in our minds doesn’t make it into the story. If you unpack what’s happening in your action scene, you can make sure that it does everything you intend, and nothing you don’t.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark critique “A Hero Least of All,” a literary short story by Tim LaFave. They discuss narrative identity and why it matters for your writing. Humans use story to make sense of their lives, and it’s important to understand the stories we tell about ourselves and the how this impacts our writing. This week’s editorial mission asks you to explore your story and see how you can use this insight for your writing journey and fiction.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark discuss point of view (POV) in their critique of “The Second Prayer: A Confession for the Dead,” a thriller short story by David L. Storm. The POV is the filter through which the reader experiences your story: Each option has advantages and disadvantages and can produce vastly different results. In this week’s editorial mission, Leslie and Clark share a list of questions to ask when you choose the POV for your first draft and later when you revise your draft. Check out the show notes at Writership.org/episodes for the complete story and written critique.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark critique the beginning of _Osweyth_, an epic fantasy novel inspired by Cornish folklore by J M Hudson. They discuss narrative distance, omniscient point of view, and moving smoothly between vantage points. They also talked about the weather as a character in the story, lush prose, sentence and paragraph length, and commas. The editorial mission asks you to check your narrative distance, that is how close your reader is to the character or narrator.
In this episode, fiction editors Leslie and Clark celebrate 100 episodes. They depart from the regular format to answer your questions about writing and editing. They discuss passive voice, pantsing vs. plotting, head hopping, how long your story should be, and how to write character thoughts. This week’s editorial mission is about finding your strengths and weaknesses.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _Let’s Go Inwards_, a science fiction novel by Jake. They discuss revealing character. Unlike screenwriters, we can’t rely on actors to show the audience who our characters are. But we have access to and can expose our characters’ thoughts and motivations in other ways. This episode also includes suggestions for word choice and figurative language.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique “Vermillion Dusk & Crimson Dirt,” an as yet unpublished horror short story by Lane M.M. Whitens. They talk about storytelling vs. telling a story and framing stories. They also discuss _-LY_ adverbs, and facts relevant to the story. Leslie and Clark are taking questions for the 100th episode of the podcast. If you have a burning question about editing or storytelling, please visit www.writership.com/ask.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _The Pick Up_, a LGBT romance novel by Allison Temple. They discuss genre, obligatory scenes in romance stories, and romantic conflict.
In this episode, Leslie and guest host Jody T. Morse critique the prologue of _Forgotten December_, an as yet unpublished steampunk novel by Noah Deuker. They discuss the elements of an effective prologue and description of characters and setting.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _Wingless Bird_, an as yet unpublished science fiction novel by Tori. They discuss the elements of a strong beginning hook. This week’s mission will help you revise your opening to pull the reader in right away.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _Edge of the Future_, a science fiction novel by Andria Stone. They discuss ways to reveal character, including thoughts, reactions to events, and reactions from other characters. One thing to consider (especially in science fiction or fantasy) is how to convey what’s normal for the wider culture and within particular groups. This week’s editorial mission will help you make your characters unique.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark talk about the internal genre for your journey as a writer. As writers, we face resistance in different forms (we hit a snag in our project, life throws us a curve ball). These unexpected events are opportunities to become derailed or renew our commitment to our work. Leslie and Clark explore what you can do to stay on track.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _Day 115_, a science fiction novel by J. M. Bedard. They discuss pacing, providing enough detail to make clear the setting and characters’ vantage point, and questions that pull the reader into your story. Leslie's birthday giveaway ends on January 25, 2017. Check out the show notes at Writership.com/episode for details.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _The Snakes of Playa del Carmen_, a young adult thriller novel by Penelope Aaron. They discuss backstory (including its purposes and methods of delivery), foreshadowing, dialogue sentences, where to begin your story, and Leslie’s birthday giveaway.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _Kill Screen_, a published literary science fiction thriller by Benjamin Reeves. They discuss unreliable narrators and the ways characters are dishonest, methods of revealing facts to the reader, setting, and tension.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the beginning of _Edge_, an as yet unpublished atompunk novel, by Ethan Motter. They discuss the ordinary and special worlds of the story, mysteries and questions, world building, scene and summary, and dialogue tags with similes to reveal emotion.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique “Let’s Call This What It Is,” a literary short story by David Austin. They discuss plot- and character-driven stories (and the need for both elements), experimenting with the opening of your story and where to start it, brand names, and reviewing your year.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening of Ascendancy, a sword and sorcery novel by A. B. Corley. They discuss transitions between scenes, tweaking dialogue so that the characters are distinguishable, and diction in dialogue.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _Acolyte of Shadow_, an as yet unpublished fantasy novel by Daniel Kellberg. They discuss dialogue, descriptive beats, pacing, and backstory.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique “Doing the Work,” an as yet unpublished contemporary short story by Julie Prudhome. They discuss stories that tackle social issues and ways to use them powerfully, brand names, and questions we explore in our writing. Trigger warning: This submission contains a discussion of child abuse and exploitation.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of a women’s historical fiction novel submitted by an anonymous author. They discuss tension, conflict, character traits, and description.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _The Moorpark Horror_, a middle grade horror novel, by Russell Gibbs. They discuss proactive protagonists, making transitions clear, and conflict.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the first chapter of _The Sentinels Sworn Book One: Archmage’s Rage_, a fantasy novel by Andrew J. Cardin. They discuss world building, strategic use of exposition, point of view, tightening your prose, and the role of sidekicks.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique “Dark Water,” a short story by James Middleton. They discuss world building, genre, and how details can affect the stakes.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of _As Realms Unravel_, an as yet unpublished epic fantasy novel by Steven T. Bushar. They discuss world building, flashbacks, conflict, and dialogue.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Hiraeth by Robert Fritz Gaston, an as yet unpublished family saga novel. They discuss point of view, tense, introducing characters, and characteristic moments.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Ceanmohrlass’s Me and My Bacon a published YA novel. They discuss the passage of time, setting as it relates to the characters, and the characteristic moment.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Brian McWilliams’s “Snow Like Ashes” an as yet unpublished literary fiction short story. They discuss short stories, character arcs, conflict, and narrative identity. Special notice: This story contains some disturbing scenes involving the situations that firefighters experience.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Marcelo Mendes’s “The Automatic Author” an as yet unpublished literary science fiction short story. They discuss short stories, economy of words, where to start your story, and ways to evoke feelings.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of D.J. Umber's _The Wolf and the Ravens_, an as yet unpublished historical fiction novel. They discuss explaining character motivations, trusting your readers, and making the setting clear.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Bobbie Carlton-Hess's _Hanna's Hearts_, an as yet unpublished Romance/Science Fiction novel. They discuss backstory and ways to convey what's important for the reader to know as well as polarizing topics.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of J.T. Morse's _Feathers of the Phoenix_, an as yet unpublished historical fantasy novel. They discuss point of view, the omniscient narrator, word choice, and accents.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Sarah Brett's _Bloodbound_, an as yet unpublished paranormal fantasy/horror novel. They discuss active opening scenes, scenes and sequels, character motivation, and literal and metaphoric elements.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Chrishaun Keller-Hanna's “Daughter of the Flood,” an as yet unpublished magical realism story. They discuss identifying characters, dialogue tags, setting, and strong verbs.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Sondra Turnbull's _Affery’s Earth_, an as yet unpublished magical realism novel. They discuss adverbs that end in _ly_, how to use adverbs to “unwrite” your sentences and make them stronger, the use of inanimate objects, and US vs. UK English.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of C. Steven Manley's _Expedition: Brace Cordova Book One_, an as yet unpublished space opera. They discuss setting, capitalization, flashbacks, and characterization.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique Carl Vaughn's _The Case Files of Jack Nimble,_ an as yet unpublished supernatural mystery. They discuss fiction mash-ups, innovating scenes, character descriptions, and tightening prose.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Charlie Reale’s Hypnotic Destiny, an as yet unpublished YA Fantasy. They discuss fight scenes, character thoughts and reactions, point of view as it relates to character description, setting, and strong verbs.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Stephen Allan’s Kastori Revelations, a published science fiction/fantasy novel. They discuss story beginnings, indicating the passage of time, action, and military culture.
In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Nicolas Marson’s _The Key of Astrea_, a science fiction/fantasy novel. They discuss rapid-fire dialogue, punctuation and tags for dialogue, and point of view.
In this episode, Leslie welcomed Clark Chamberlain, the new co-host of the podcast. They critiqued the beginning of Michelle Porter’s _The Colonists_, an as yet unpublished historical fiction novel. They discussed internal dialogue, increasing character interaction, strong verbs, ellipses, and em dashes.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening of Michael Walsh's _Posted as Missing_, an action-adventure romance. They discuss genre, traumatic events and how to include them in fiction, underwriting, strong verbs, echoes, and foreign languages.
In episode 62, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening of Jennifer Hale and Holly Mora’s _Forged_, a YA paranormal adventure. They discuss beginning hooks, flashbacks, similes, repetitive structure, and echoes.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Thomas Cardin’s_Beyond the Stars_, an unpublished fantasy novel. They discuss conflict, point of view, echoes, and disclosing relevant detail.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Terry Marchion’s_The Missing Yesterdays_, an MG/YA novella. They discuss specificity of detail and verbs, rising tension, worldbuilding and applying humor to your story.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Eustacia Tan’s novella _Beauty’s Daughter_. They discuss throat clearing, strengthening verbs, point of view, and rising tension.
Alyssa & Leslie share their experiences and takeaways from attending the 2016 Smarter Artist Summit. Panelists included: Mark LeFebvre, Joanna Penn, Nick Stephenson, Julia Kent, J.A. Huss, Andre Chaperon, and James Tonn in addition to Sean Platt, Johnny B. Truant, and David Wright.
Leslie & Alyssa critique "The Man on the Motorcycle," a short story by Sean Seebach. They discuss point of view, character and plot arc, and genre considerations.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Saralee Etter’s _Mystery at Blackstone’s Stables_, and discuss deft character descriptions, bridging tension, and setting.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of M.N. Arzu’s Underneath, and discuss foreshadowing, verb choice, repetitive sentence structure, and genre considerations.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Lincoln Cole’s _Raven’s Peak_, and discuss tone, using secondary character reactions to develop your reader’s understanding of the protagonist, restraint in delivery, and a few finer points of comma & colon usage.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Genya’s literary fiction novel, Martha’s Dream. They discuss sentence and paragraph length, poetic language, and reconciling adult-like observations with the protagonist (a child).
Alyssa & Leslie critique the prologue and opening of chapter one from JF Erickson’s _Hard Reboot_. They discuss worldbuilding, advanced dialogue punctuation, maintaining tension, and stage direction.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the prologue of Chris Tick’s _The Humanarium_, a science fiction novel. They discuss classic scene structure, grounding the reader, worldbuilding, and characterization.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Mary Pat Lynch’s _Feather the Painter_, a fantasy novel. They discuss repetitive sentence structure, tension, sensory detail, dialect, and getting to know setting through your character’s point of view.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of CS Manley’s _Awakened_. They discuss the opening device (amnesia), tension, setting, and the high polishing techniques that will make your writing _lean_.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of J.H. Lucas’s _Generation Havoc_. They discuss panoramic vs. intimate openings, developing tension, tone, diction, and worldbuilding.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Luke K’s _The Hipster Who Leapt Through Time_, a science fiction/fantasy novel by Luke Kondor. They mention echoes and strengthening verbs. They discuss how the author builds sympathy by getting in the moment, and they debate which tense might be the best choice for this piece.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Simon Cantan’s _The Bite of Rust_, a fantasy novel. They discuss unusual protagonists, characters’ emotional reactions, and effective hooks and world building.
Leslie & Alyssa critique Alysia Seymour’s “The Quirky Old Couple,” a fantasy short story. They discuss tension, action, and conflict, repetitive sentence structure, and earning back story.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the first five pages of Kinda Ra Harashal’s _Society_, an urban fantasy/thriller novel. They discuss grounding the reader in a fantasy world, nailing your genre and audience, and different aspects of problematic dialogue.
Leslie and Alyssa critique the first chapter of Edward Antrobus’s The Book of Fawla, a fantasy serial. They discuss telling detail for characterization, setting, and props, amping up your verbs, paying attention to diction, and how to take a story that’s working to the next level.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening pages of a thriller by AD Davies. They discuss the genre and maintaining tension, and get into some granular detail on verb tense and dialogue tags. Put your grammar hat on for this one!
Leslie & Alyssa critique Todd Gerring’s middle grade horror short story. They discuss considerations when writing horror for this audience, 3rd person distant POV, building sympathy for your characters, and tips for copyediting and proofreading.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Jennifer Evans Kochalka’s novel, _Pleasure Point_. They discuss the romance genre, character reactions, and get into the nitty gritty of compound words, spaces after punctuation, brand names in fiction, and extraneous detail.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Mark S.R. Peterson’s novelette, Guest of Honor. They discuss the suspense genre, prepositions, present tense, tension, characterization, and point of view.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of a science fiction adventure story, “One’s Place,” by Edwin Downward. They discuss characterization, setting, lingering questions, plot devices, and diversity in science fiction.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of the literary fiction novel Ripples through Time by Lincoln Cole. They discuss characterization, telling detail, the power of subtlety, and what defines literary fiction.
Alyssa & Leslie discuss genre, pacing, tension, and engagement as they critique the first five pages of Christine Waters’s Crystal, a young adult story.
Alyssa & Leslie discuss poetic prose, character introductions, genre expectations, and setting in this critique of the opening of Winifred Onyema’s novella, _Eclipse of the Heart_.
Leslie & Alyssa discuss prologues, openings, establishing the genre, character relationships, and sensory detail in this critique of the opening of Melissa Bieman’s _Chasing Status Quo_.
Leslie & Alyssa discuss poetic prose, interesting structure, the hallmarks of literary fiction and how this piece displays them, symbolism, and grounding the reader in the face of extremely poetic prose.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Last Eve, a short story by Carolina Greene. They discuss throat clearing, developing the conflict of man vs. nature, and provided a few copyediting tips.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Aaron Hubble’s Sojourners. They discuss the importance of emphasis within a sentence, precision in language, delaying backstory, and the development of great internal and external conflict.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the prologue of Colby R. Rice’s Ghosts of Koa. They discuss identifying repetitive syntax, seamless worldbuilding, developing intrigue, and finding beta readers.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of David L. Storm’s thriller, _Rain_. They discuss pacing and diction appropriate to the genre, as well as setting, and the introduction of conflict versus backstory.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening chapters of The Nutcracker King, a novella by Eustacia Tan. They discuss genre, public domain characters, conflict, and deepening characterization.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the short story “Her” by John Rose. They discuss the use of trademarked characters, establishing setting and point of view, and rapid fire dialogue.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the first five pages of Anthony Greer’s _The Messengers_. They discuss passive voice, character engagement and sympathy, including telling (not repetitive) detail, word choice, and straying from POV.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the first five pages of Stacy Claflin’s _Gone_, a Suspense thriller. They discuss how the shifting point of view and resulting irony (where the audience knows something the characters don’t) work brilliantly to increase tension. They discuss adding visceral detail, and minor changes to improve the submission.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the first section of Harmon Cooper’s _The Feedback Loop_. They discuss how the POV and tense works for the genre, repetitive sentence structure, and dialogue (and its punctuation).
Leslie & Alyssa critique the first chapter of Darren Sapp’s Fire on the Flight Deck. They discuss point of view, establishing the ordinary world, back story, and the technical details that make an unusual setting come to life.
Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening chapter of Kindar Ra Harashal’s Tristan. They discuss repetitive sentence structure, passive voice, sentence fragments, and intrigue versus melodrama.
Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening pages from Nicole Quinn’s It’s a Nightmare. They discuss the genre, the function of the comma, the importance of a name, and suspending disbelief.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from Steeven R. Orr’s Walrus of Death. They discuss appropriate humor and how it can benefit your story, judicious pruning for a smoother reading experience, setting reader expectations with character appearance, and great hooks.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages from a New Adult novel. They discuss the specter of Pride & Prejudice, building and maintaining sympathy for your characters, and developing a narrative hook or throughline.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from a middle grade novel.They discuss raising the stakes, increasing tension, rapid fire dialogue, and incorporating more telling detail.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages from a science fiction novel. They discuss choosing tense, rapid fire and commonplace dialogue, and well-executed backstory.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from a fantasy novel. They discuss cadence and diction, dialogue, opening lines, and setting and maintaining reader expectations.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages from a paranormal thriller. They discuss character relationships, the “normal” world versus the supernatural world, incorporating specific and telling detail, and redundancy in dialogue.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages from a horror novel. They discuss tightening the opening to get to the paranormal elements more quickly, the possible inclusion of humor, and how technical issues are an issue for this piece.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from a science fiction adventure story. They discuss oversharing and how it relates to showing versus telling, clusters of echoes, and the difference between a series of situations and a plot.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages from a paranormal/urban fantasy novel. They discuss grounding the reader in the genre, British vs. U.S. English, echoes, visceral details, and starting the story with an inciting incident.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from an erotica novel. They discuss different types of erotica, character development, tools for assessing complexity of language and readability, and the reader experience.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from a YA superhero fantasy novel. They discuss: why this opening works so well for the sotry, strong opening lines, including visceral details to ground your reader, and strengthening verbs.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages from a literary short story. They discuss omniscient viewpoint, deepening setting and characterization, and making good on the implicit promise in your title and hook.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages from a fantasy novella in progress. They discuss information dumps, delaying back story, and revisit elaborate dialogue tags. They go on to discuss overcapitalization and why that’s a problem for your reader, and leave you with an editorial mission based on what this submission teaches us about characterization.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique a religious inspirational short story. They discuss showing versus telling, creating an active and vivid setting, rapid fire dialogue, and strengthening the darkest moment.
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique an excerpt from a crime/thriller novel in progress. They discuss what’s working for the unconventional opening, dive deeper into active openings, and ask for clues about the protagonist’s competence. They go on to discuss varying sentence structure, the creation of new words, and what to avoid with elaborate dialogue tags.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique an excerpt from a middle grade fantasy book. They discuss: point of view/head hopping, passive voice, streamlining language for impact, echoes, strengthening verbs, and hesitant words.
_In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie critique the opening pages of a mystery novel in progress. They discuss: tense, point of view, consistency in characterization, dialect in dialogue, permissions and copyright issues, and touch on the issue of showing versus telling._
In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening pages of a steampunk novel in progress. They discuss what was working for the story, how to improve the opening paragraphs, tension, and open-ended questions. They go on to talk about getting past the police description, diction, and identifying echoes.
In this episode, Alyssa and Leslie launched the podcast with the critique of an excerpt from a romance novel. They discuss some requirements of the romance genre, and what constitutes a love interest and well-motivated character. They go on to talk about how to follow through on your story’s hook and avoid information dumps, false starts, echoes, and the passive voice.