MS and SEX: Recent Episodes
Cara Griswold
We affirm that people with multiple sclerosis are radically sexy simply by rejecting the negative messages that we get from our culture. On the podcast and in our classes, we learn how to improve the quality of our lives and inspire non-disabled folk too. We talk to people with MS, researchers, and healthcare practitioners as we learn to navigate the complexities of sexual well-being.
Implicit bias is a fancy way of saying "having an attitude about something or someone because they are unfamiliar". In this episode, you'll get a better grasp of the concept and we'll meet one of the researchers who helped develop the very first implicit bias scale for mental healthcare practitioners. Dr. Vanessa Brown talks about the kink bias that some patients face from mental healthcare workers. She also addresses the lack of support that those practitioners face as they strive to provide good mental healthcare. When we are confronted with the unknown, we automatically feel suspicious; this is a protective behavior that all creatures have developed over time. As humans, we get to choose if we want to use our substantial cerebrum to make a different choice. This research team came up with the first implicit bias scale to help these practitioners identify their biases around the topic of kink so that they can change their reactions if they so choose.
Their scale will be publicly available soon and I'll post a link when it is. Until then, here is a helpful link to "Kink Guidelines: Clinical Best Practices". As a patient, you can see that you have a right to expect complete acceptance of your choices and as a practitioner, you'll find helpful information about how to assist your clients who practice or want to practice consensual kink.
Here is a link to the Kink Aware Professionals list.
On October 28th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time, Dr. Brown, Lexi Gird, and other research team members will join us for a live Q&A to discuss their work. I encourage you to join us if you are a patient, a healthcare practitioner, a sex educator, or a researcher.
This is going to be a fantastic panel! Here is the LINK, and the passcode is 219308.
First, I had to migrate to another podcast host so forgive any glitches as I learn the new platform. Ugh. We may not have a movie star body or the sex drive of a twenty-year-old but WE get to decide what sensuality and sexuality means to us in any given moment. This month on the podcast I talk about a tool we can use to quiet our minds and return to the sensations of the body. Focusing on your own experience of sensation is not the same as being selfish. It is a powerful tool that can ultimately lead to greater connection. This month I’m thinking a lot about empowerment. Chronic conditions can rob us of confidence and self- worth professionally, personally, and sexually. Those demons arise internally and externally. It’s hard to feel like a badass when fatigue has nailed you to the floor. It’s a struggle to feel sexy when you live in a culture that cringes at your presence or simply looks past you in a search for something else to focus on, some vision that doesn’t remind them of the frailty of life as a bent or struggling body does. I’m bombarded with those internal and external negative messages too. I can only encourage you to seek out those who uplift you and see you not as a weakened body hobbling along but as a person with battle scars that have made you stronger, yet filled you with humility and compassion for those that don’t fit the “normal” mold. The fact is that normal is an irrelevant concept when it comes to bodies and sexuality. Alfred Kinsey conducted massive quantitative research in the mid 1900’s; one of his greatest contributions was proving that there is no “normal.” Their data concluded that up to 25% of people are at the “extreme ends” of sexual behavior. ((Extreme being anything that isn’t PIV Sex) One can’t just count the middle 50% as “normal” when there is another 50% that is one extreme or the other. Duh. So, flush that idea of normal down the toilet like it’s a memo from the Trump administration. Listen to this episode and join us on September 20th at 5 PM pacific time for a live Q&A. You can ask questions, share your thoughts and experiences about the “touching for interest” exercise, and we can try out the “three minute game”.
Here are a couple of resources to find Sex therapists or counselors, AASECT: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory. NCSF KAP list: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/kap_directory/13575/kink-affirmative-therapist-4/ I used this book as a reference for much of the content: https://www.draveryclark.com/sensate-focus-sex-therapy-illustrated-manual/
You're getting a quicky from me this month. But, sometimes, that's just the thing. It allows us to stay connected and hopefully we'll both feel like our needs are being met. Please reach out and check in; let me know if this quickie was satisfying for you or just frustrating. I would love to hear if this brought up any thoughts, feelings, or memories for you. How have you struggled to or been successful in releasing the past so that you can live fully in the present?You can contact me on Instagram @MSandSex or I'm on Linked in HERE (and trying to pay more attention to that account) And of course, please rate/review and follow on your favorite podcast platform. Here is a link to some information about EMDR which is an effective way to release deep-seated stuff.
This month, I’m grateful to be able to share my conversation with Ken and Joli Hamilton. Joli is a researcher, a Certified Sex Educator, and a Relationship coach. Ken is her primary partner who happens to have MS. They were previously an engineer and software developer but now they co-host a podcast with Joli called Project Relationship and acts as a peer guide in The Year of Opening, a coaching program for people transitioning from monogamy to polyamory. I highly recommend that you tune into their podcast (here’s an apple podcast link).I highly recommend that you tune into their show, (link in the episode notes). You will hear them talk about sexuality, polyamory, kink, and just the messiness of relationships and family. Together, they often process issues during their show and this is a great gift. How many of us grew up lacking someone to model this kind of healthy communication? Raise your hands.I’ve broken the interview into two parts, but I want you to listen to both. In part one we talk a lot about that surreal experience of dx and how they each processed it. As we all know, an MS dx is given to families, not just individuals, and we each deal with this shock differently.In part two Joli and Ken dive into more detail about how MS has been a part of the evolution of their sexual connection. This section is so juicy, make sure you listen to this one as well.Then on the 20th of July at 5 PM pst they will both join us for a live Q&A. This is such a treat- they are fabulously warm people and you’ll get a chance to talk with them yourselves.So many of the things we talked about in this interview are issues that I continue to work on in my relationship. So, what I love about the Q&As, is that they give us all a chance to have a live, in-person conversation where we can each share our perspectives and experiences. Like we’re sitting around the living room together.This is what we talked about in Part II* How specific symptoms affect their sexuality and sexual connection * Learning to ask each other “what is sex” * Reconciling those different definitions * Joli talks about her shame and fear after Ken’s Dx * Ken’s gift of emotional maturity and ability to reflect and their fear that MS will compromise that * Ken talks about how his growing sense of self-determination helps him face the unknown in life from a place of strength * The importance of implicit vs explicit communication regarding MS symptoms * How MS affects sexual self-worth * Letting go of gendered expectations of sex and the body's sexual response * Accountability in relationships and the importance of being flexible with accountability * You must be open and communicate about symptoms in order to be truly accountable. * We touch on kink and MS (but you’ll need to tune into the live Q&A for more)
This month, I’m grateful to be able to share my conversation with Ken and Joli Hamilton. Joli is a researcher, a Certified Sex Educator, and a Relationship coach. Ken is her primary partner who happens to have MS. They were previously an engineer and software developer but now they co-host a podcast with Joli called Project Relationship and acts as a peer guide in The Year of Opening, a coaching program for people transitioning from monogamy to polyamory. I highly recommend that you tune into their podcast (here’s an apple podcast link).I highly recommend that you tune into their show, (link in the episode notes). You will hear them talk about sexuality, polyamory, kink, and just the messiness of relationships and family. Together, they often process issues during their show and this is a great gift. How many of us grew up lacking someone to model this kind of healthy communication? Raise your hands.I’ve broken the interview into two parts, but I want you to listen to both. In part one we talk a lot about that surreal experience of dx and how they each processed it. As we all know, an MS dx is given to families, not just individuals, and we each deal with this shock differently.In part two Joli and Ken dive into more detail about how MS has been a part of the evolution of their sexual connection. This section is so juicy, make sure you listen to this one as well.Then on the 20th of July at 5 PM pst they will both join us for a live Q&A. This is such a treat- they are fabulously warm people and you’ll get a chance to talk with them yourselves.So many of the things we talked about in this interview are issues that I continue to work on in my relationship. So, what I love about the Q&A’s, is that they give us all a chance to have a live, in-person conversation where we can each share our perspectives and experiences. Like we’re sitting around the living room together.Take a look in the episode notes or go to the website and you’ll find a detailed description of the topics we cover in part one and two. Okay- Let’s dive in.Part I* Introductions/gender pronouns * Ken’s Dx * 1 month to the day after their wedding: “I had many feelings about that” * Struggle to absorb * He views it as a part of his aging process * The importance of how they talk about MS and letting Ken guide that conversation * Describing the moment of Dx * Processing the Dx * How Ken used his life experience to give him a sense of perspective with his dx * Dx creating a “gap in intimacy” * (defining what gap in intimacy means to them) * Overlapping erotic reality
Part II* How specific symptoms affect their sexuality and sexual connection * Learning to ask each other “what is sex” * Reconciling those different definitions * Joli talks about her shame and fear after Ken’s Dx * Ken’s gift of emotional maturity and ability to reflect and their fear that MS will compromise that * Ken talks about how his growing sense of self-determination helps him face the unknown in life from a place of strength * The importance of implicit vs explicit communication regarding MS symptoms * How MS affects sexual self-worth * Letting go of gendered expectations of sex and the body's sexual response * Accountability in relationships and the importance of being flexible with accountability * You must be open and communicate about symptoms in order to be truly accountable. * We touch on kink and MS (but you’ll need to tune into the live Q&A for more)
I'm replaying one of my most popular episodes. This conversation touched many people on a deep level. (Dr. Hamilton's specialty is depth psychology after all!) In July, Joli and her husband, Ken, will be joining me for a conversation about MS, relationships, and sexuality. Together, they host the podcast Project Relationship. Ken has MS and I haven't had a chance to talk to him about his experiences. I am so excited about this upcoming conversation and so, to get you in the groove, I wanted you to listen to the unedited version of our conversation about relationship structures and jealousy. It's a long interview and a lot of information so I released it in three parts.This is what we talk about in this episode:* Personalities more conducive to non-monogamy * The debate on the nature of polyamory. Is it an orientation or a lifestyle? * Extramarital Affairs * Does monogamy protect you from jealousy? And, implicit vs. explicit communication. * How rethinking relationship structures can help facilitate broader social growth. * Gratitude for her primary partner, Ken
Here is a link to view Dr. Hamilton's dissertation. I highly recommend reading this paper.Important Announcement: I am currently designing a research study to gain an understanding of how kink or alternative lifestyle activities and choices affect a person’s experience of MS or other chronic illnesses. We hope that this information will encourage people with chronic health conditions to embrace their sexuality and relationship choices and encourage transparency with their HCP.I will be enrolling respondents soon. So, if you have MS or another autoimmune or neurological condition and you engage in any kind of alternative relationship structure or sexuality, contact me at info@MSexualHealth.com. I would love to tell you more about this pilot study. Being a part of this research study takes a small amount of your time yet, ultimately, has long-reaching effects on the lives of many people. Research in the field of sexuality changes perspectives and improves the way we function as a society. Please consider being a part of my study the working title is: "Patients with Chronic Neurological or Autoimmune Conditions and the Outcome of Engaging in Alternative Sexuality Practices including BDSM and Power Exchange" Email me at info@MSexualHealth@gmail.com to participate in this important study.Reach out to me on our website www.MSexualHealth.com for more information about our classes and workshopsfind us on Instagram @MSandSex
I'm replaying one of my most popular episodes. This conversation touched many people on a deep level. In July, Joli and her husband, Ken, will be joining me for a conversation about MS, relationships, and sexuality. Together, they host the podcast Project Relationship. Ken has MS and I haven't had a chance to talk to him about his experiences. I am so excited about this upcoming conversation and so, to get you in the groove, I wanted you to listen to the unedited version of our conversation about relationship structures and jealousy.These are the topics we cover in Part Two of this interview:* The polyamorous mindset * Jung's stance on monogamy and the influence of his relationships on his work * How we describe and experience our relationship structures * What is depth psychology? * Placing jealousy within an archetypal framework (the best description of jealousy I've ever heard) * What lies beneath the experience of jealousy? * Joli's favorite mythological story of jealousy (the complex role of jealousy in relationships) * The power of laughter in processing jealousy (a story about Aphrodite, Hephaestus, and Aries) * What can a deeper understanding of polyamory bring to monogamous relationships? (spoiler alert- you don't have to cast monogamy aside)
Look for these topics in Part Three coming out on June 30th:* Personalities more conducive to non-monogamy * The debate on the nature of polyamory. Is it an orientation or a lifestyle? * Extramarital Affairs * Does monogamy protect you from jealousy? And, implicit vs. explicit communication. * How rethinking relationship structures can help facilitate broader social growth. * Gratitude for her primary partner, Ken
Here is a link to view Dr. Hamilton's dissertation. I highly recommend reading this paper.Important Announcement: I am currently designing a research study to gain an understanding of how kink or alternative lifestyle activities and choices affect a person’s experience of MS or other chronic illnesses. We hope that this information will encourage people with chronic health conditions to embrace their sexuality and relationship choices and encourage transparency with their HCP.I will be enrolling respondents soon. So, if you have MS or another autoimmune or neurological condition and you engage in any kind of alternative relationship structure or sexuality, contact me at info@MSexualHealth.com. I would love to tell you more about this pilot study. Being a part of this research study takes a small amount of your time yet, ultimately, has long-reaching effects on the lives of many people. Research in the field of sexuality changes perspectives and improves the way we function as a society. Please consider being a part of my study the working title is: "Patients with Chronic Neurological or Autoimmune Conditions and the Outcome of Engaging in Alternative Sexuality Practices including BDSM and Power Exchange" Email me at info@MSexualHealth@gmail.com to participate in this important study.Reach out to me on our website www.MSexualHealth.com for more information about our classes and workshopsfind us on Instagram @MSandSex
I'm replaying one of my most popular episodes. This conversation touched many people on a deep level. (Dr. Hamilton's specialty is depth psychology after all!) In July, Joli and her husband, Ken, will be joining me for a conversation about MS, relationships, and sexuality. Together, they host the podcast Project Relationship. Ken has MS and I haven't had a chance to talk to him about his experiences. I am so excited about this upcoming conversation and so, to get you in the groove, I wanted you to listen to the unedited version of our conversation about relationship structures and jealousy.These are the topics we cover in Part One of this interview:* The History of Marriage * What is jealousy? * Why should we talk about jealousy? * Basic terminology to discuss non-monogamy * Numinous, and Compersion vs. Compassion * The various structures of polyamory
This is what is coming up in Part Two. Look for that on the 15th of June:* The polyamorous mindset * Jung's stance on monogamy and the influence of his relationships on his work * How we describe and experience our relationship structures * What is depth psychology? * Placing jealousy within an archetypal framework (the best description of jealousy I've ever heard) * What lies beneath the experience of jealousy? * Joli's favorite mythological story of jealousy (the complex role of jealousy in relationships) * The power of laughter in processing jealousy (a story about Aphrodite, Hephaestus, and Aries) * What can a deeper understanding of polyamory bring to monogamous relationships? (spoiler alert- you don't have to cast monogamy aside)
Look for these topics in Part Three coming out on June 30th:* Personalities more conducive to non-monogamy * The debate on the nature of polyamory. Is it an orientation or a lifestyle? * Extramarital Affairs * Does monogamy protect you from jealousy? And, implicit vs. explicit communication. * How rethinking relationship structures can help facilitate broader social growth. * Gratitude for her primary partner, Ken
Here is a link to view Dr. Hamilton's dissertation. I highly recommend reading this paper.Important Announcement: I am currently designing a research study to gain an understanding of how kink or alternative lifestyle activities and choices affect a person’s experience of MS or other chronic illnesses. We hope that this information will encourage people with chronic health conditions to embrace their sexuality and relationship choices and encourage transparency with their HCP.I will be enrolling respondents soon. So, if you have MS or another autoimmune or neurological condition and you engage in any kind of alternative relationship structure or sexuality, contact me at info@MSexualHealth.com. I would love to tell you more about this pilot study. Being a part of this research study takes a small amount of your time yet, ultimately, has long-reaching effects on the lives of many people. Research in the field of sexuality changes perspectives and improves the way we function as a society. Please consider being a part of my study the working title is: "Patients with Chronic Neurological or Autoimmune Conditions and the Outcome of Engaging in Alternative Sexuality Practices including BDSM and Power Exchange" Email me at info@MSexualHealth@gmail.com to participate in this important study.Reach out to me on our website www.MSexualHealth.com for more information about our classes and workshopsfind us on Instagram @MSandSex
In today’s episode, I’m excited to share my interview with Cody Whitfield. He is the owner of Choice Designs Pro, the quality producer of a prosthetic sleeve that fits over an existing penis. This product could be an option for folx with MS. I'm excited about sharing this episode because chances are your HCP isn’t telling you about this, you probably haven't heard about it anywhere else, and even if you do know a thing or two about strap-on phallic objects, that's not what we're talking about. You'll find there is a lot you don’t know about prosthetic penis technology today.The products are shockingly realistic and in this episode you are going to hear all about how they are made, attached, and used on a daily basis. The benefit of a prosthetic sleeve for someone who has a penis is that it is non-invasive, you don’t have to take drugs, or inject drugs into your penis, you don’t need surgery, and you don’t have to pump up your penis to get an erection that lasts anywhere from 10-30 minutes.You'll hear about how the prosthesis is made, worn, and who can benefit from them. (spoiler alert- ANYone) However, we spend a lot of time talking about how the X-1000 can benefit male-bodied people with MS or other chronic conditions who are dealing with erectile dysfunction or pain and sensitivity of their penis. Regardless of whether you are in need of a prosthetic device yourself, this episode will open your mind to other people's perspectives and it may just inspire you to try something brand new to spice up your life.Here is the Choice Designs Pro Webpage for the X1000 prosthetic sleeve. For our listeners, use the code "ChoiceX1000" and you will get $100 off!Here is a link to the erectile dysfunction scaleHere are a couple of links to papers that were used as resources in this episode:Annals of Physical and Rehabilitative MedicineRetzler Contact us atwww.MSexualHealth.com oron IG @MSandSex
Today we are talking about erectile dysfunction for penis owners. I want to acknowledge that this is a difficult topic for folx. The penis has long been elevated to this all-powerful feature of humanity and that is a lot of pressure to carry around every day. This is a drag because the over-the-top cultural expectations on performance aren’t helpful for anyone of any gender. We’re just going to touch on one aspect of that concept today- it’s an important and ongoing conversation. I just want you to know that if you are dealing with this issue from any perspective, you are not alone. Lots of people have ED and the good news is- there are lots of solutions.I want to emphasize that this episode is for folks who have erectile dysfunction and want to change this. You don’t have to have a rigid penis to experience arousal, intimacy, or satisfying Sex. There are many ways to be sexual. That topic is an ocean’s worth of material by itself. It can take time to change the way we think of pleasure, but a good start is simply removing the penis from the center of your activities. Doesn’t mean it’s not important- it just doesn’t have to be all there is. I’ll be offering a podcast on that topic soon.Get ready to hear about:· Some basic anatomy and physiology of penis erections· Common causes of ED for folks with chronic illnesses· Popular treatments for ED· A solution for erectile dysfunction that you might not have heard ofHere is the Choice Designs Pro Webpage for the X1000. The discount code to get $100 off at checkout is “ChoiceX1000”. As Cody says, here's your chance to turn ED into BDE! Oh yeah!Here are the links I promised:· AASECT website for a list of certified sex educators· The Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) directory from NCSF· Erectile Dysfunction: A Review of Comprehensive Treatment Options for Optimal Outcome by Kathryn Retzler ND.· Here is the International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire, before you go to a specialist about ED, they often have you fill this out ahead of time. It can give you an objective idea of your level of erectile dysfunctionYou can always find me at www.MSexualHealth.com or on IG @MSandSexFinally, I want to show gratitude to the artist Meghan Trainor. I used a two-second clip from her song "NO" a couple of times. I'm not making any money off of this podcast at all and using this clip just tickled me and gave me immense pleasure. I just think that it is so ironic that male-bodied people have to have an adequate amount of nitrous oxide or "NO" in their system to get and maintain an erection. In other words, penis owners who have lived their entire lives within the patriarchy need to deeply understand the power of "NO!" to keep that hard-on going. As I said, it amused me, but I'll take that clip out if anyone complains.
This is Part two of our series on adverse childhood events and the connection to MS. This episode is full of fascinating information that offers hope. I’m going to talk about how our brains store memories and a therapeutic modality that can empower you through deep healing. For this episode, I’ve relied heavily on the book “The body keeps the score” by Dr. Van Der Kolk as well as my own personal experience with this therapeutic modality.I hope that this will be an empowering episode for everyone who listens. You have the power to transform past trauma into an experience that fuels your life with the positive energy that you deserve. I know this is so!Here are a few links that I promised you in the episode notes:The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Van Der Kolk was a great resource for this episodeThis is a page that contains some excerpts from the above book- including some images of the brain that might be very helpful for you to look at as you listenFeldenkrais (this is movement therapy that some people recommendIFS stands for Internal Family Systems is a kind of psychotherapyNeurofeedback is another highly effective therapeutic method for PTSD as shown in this studyFind me on Instagram @MSandSexHere is my websiteAnd you can always email me at info@MSexualHealth.comPlease scroll down to rate and review this Podcast. I need to hear that folks appreciate the program, and if there is something you'd like to hear about- let me know!
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Awareness is important because acknowledgment of the problem is the first step on the path to change. Surprisingly, this topic does tie into multiple sclerosis.First, I go over some facts about sexual assault. There are varying definitions of rape in different countries so it’s hard to get accurate worldwide statistics, so I focus on the US today.Then you get to hear from Dr. Carsten Spitzer. He is a full professor and medical director at University Medical Center Rostock in Rostock Germany. He is a board-certified specialist in Psychosomatic Medicine and Psychotherapy and the author of many papers including “Childhood Trauma in Multiple Sclerosis: a Case-Control Study”. I am so lucky have been able to track him down and incredibly grateful that he was willing to chat with me over zoom a few weeks ago.Besides Dr. Spitzers paper, I made use of these papers:· “Adverse Childhood Experiences Predict Reaction to Multiple Sclerosis Diagnosis” by Tehila Eilam-Stock et al.· “Fatigue in Multiple Sclerosis is Associated with Childhood Adversities” by Gesa E. A. Pust et al.· “Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study” by Vincent J Felitti MD et al.· National Library of Medicine· NCBI Bookshelf· “The nature of genetic and environmental susceptibility to multiple sclerosis” Douglas S. Goodwin et al.HERE IS THE WEBSITE FOR THE “RAPE, ABUSE, & INCEST NATIONAL NETWORK”· RAINN websiteIn the upcoming episode, I will talk about EMDR therapy as a tool to release trauma and find health and wellness again. You can always reach me at info@MSexualHealth.com or find me on IG @MSandSex
This topic has been a bit frustrating for me. True, I loved reading about the anatomy, innervation, and vasculature of the clitoris. Perhaps more than a normal person would. But when it came down to looking into established medical solutions for MS-related sexual dysfunction in female-bodied people I ran into dead ends and got a lot of helpless shrugging.But there are solutions and I talk about them in this episode. I promise to keep looking for more and this is an ongoing topic.I also go off on a tangent about how crazy it is to deny the existence of trans people and non-binary people. (This makes no sense! So if you live in a state that is targeting these folks, I hope it will inspire you to write a letter to your congress people.)Here are the Promised Links:LiteroticaGirl on the NetSliquidGood Clean LovePelvic Floor Health EpisodeThe Pleasures of Care EpisodeBrain Fog is a Buzz Kill PART ONE, PART TWO, PART THREEIf you would like to get a free copy of one of these Q&As or Videos, email me at Info@MSexualHealth.com, or find me on Instagram at MS and Sex, or on Linked In, then tell me which video you want a copy of:A. Q&A: Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill with Dr. Ari TuckmanB. Q&A: The Science of BDSM PanelC. MS and Sex 101Now, I'm tired and I'm going to lie down.
This month I changed gears when I remembered that it is Women’s History Month! Rather than talking about penises, our focus will be on the clitoris and sexual dysfunction for female-bodied people. We will go back to the topic of erectile dysfunction in cis-gendered males in May.In today’s episode, I talk about the History of the Anatomy of the Clitoris and why it matters. The topic is packed with information, comical, and dark all at the same time.Then at about 17:00 minutes into the program, I give you a rapid-fire, super-condensed, summary of the innervation of the female genitals. I do this so that you can have some basic knowledge before I come back with some answers from my interview with Dr. Claire Yang.Dr. Yang is a urologist who has written some fascinating papers on “Female Sexual Dysfunction in Neurologic Disease” and the “Sexually Responsive Vascular Tissue of the Vulva”. She sometimes sees PwMS who come to her with concerns about how MS is affecting their sexual response cycle.If you are a female-bodied person who has experienced any MS symptoms interfering with your sexual response cycle and you have questions- email them to me at info@MSexualHealth.com and I will ask her when I talk to her on the 17th.I hope you enjoyed this episode, if you did- follow the podcast on your favorite platform and scroll down to leave a kind review.Here are some of the resources used in the production of this episode:· “Anatomy of the Clitoris” by Helen E. O’Connell, Kalavampara V. Sanjeevan, and John M. Hutson· “Female Sexual Dysfunction in Neurologic Disease” by Claire C. Yang· “Sexually Responsive Vascular Tissue of the Vulva” by Claire C. Yang, Christopher J. Cold, Ugur Yilmaz, and Kenneth R. Maravilla· “The Lexicographical Lesbian” by Stephen TurtonFind us at www.MSexualHealth.com or on Instagram @MSandSex
In “Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill Part 3” we cover:· How Dr. Tuckman’s study was structured· Gender dynamics· The eagerness cluster· Harnessing the strengths of ADHD personality traits while contending with the problematic behaviors· We talk about treatmento Relationship strategieso Therapyo Medication· SUCCESS! What it looks like and how attainable it is.RESERVE YOUR SPOT IN THE LIVE Q&A HERE when the calendar page opens, click on the 20th and then click on 5:00 pm. An option to register will appearIn February, we are talking about “cog fog”, difficulty with focus, ADHD, and how all of these cognitive symptoms might affect our sexual well-being. Cog fog might cause your thoughts to drift during sex, or they might cause you to repeatedly forget to take out the trash when you promised to. Repeatedly.In “Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill Part 2” we covered:· Genetics and physiology of ADHD· Diagnosis· Symptoms· Specifically how ADHD and other focus issues affect our sexual relationships· The importance of mixing things up with sex· Managing common relationship dynamics when ADHD is a part of the pictureIn “Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill-Part 1” we talked about some potential causes of cognitive decline and a few tools to mitigate this bummer of a symptom.In part two and three of this series, we sit down to talk with author and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman about ADHD like symptoms, how they affect our sexual connections and what we can do about it. Dr. Tuckman is the author of “ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship”.To contact him or to find much more information about his work click HERE.
In part two and three of this series, we sit down to talk with author and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman about ADHD-like symptoms, how they affect our sexual connections and what we can do about it. Dr. Tuckman is the author of “ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship”.To contact him or to find much more information about his work click HERE.In “Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill Part 2” we cover:· Genetics and physiology of ADHD· Diagnosis· Symptoms· Specifically how ADHD and other focus issues affect our sexual relationships· The importance of "mixing things up" sexually· Managing common relationship dynamics when ADHD is a part of the pictureIn February, we are talking about “cog fog”, difficulty with focus, ADHD, and how all of these cognitive symptoms might affect our sexual well-being. Cog fog might cause your thoughts to drift during sex, or they might cause you to repeatedly forget to take out the trash when you promised to. Repeatedly.In “Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill-Part 1” we talked about some potential causes of cognitive decline and a few tools to mitigate this bummer of a symptom.“Brain Fog is a Buzz Kill Part 3” we cover:· How Dr. Tuckman’s study was structured· Gender dynamics· The eagerness cluster (it’s as interesting as it sounds)· Harnessing the strengths of ADHD personality traits while contending with the problematic behaviors· We talk about treatmento Relationship strategieso Therapyo Medication· SUCCESS! What it looks like and how attainable it is.RESERVE YOUR SPOT IN THE LIVE Q&A HERE when the calendar page opens, click on the 20th and then click on 5:00 pm. An option to register will appear
Cognitive issues are a real thing with MS. This month we talk about how this can affect your sexual health. In this bonus episode, we are talking about some of the causes of cognitive decline and then we cover a few things we can do to combat this devastating symptom. There are solutions!1) Reducing stress with mindfulness, meditation, and getting enough sleep.2) Nutrition3) Exercise (a good hard workout can actually make your hippocampus increase in size!) I recommend checking out The MS Gym. He offers exercise videos designed just for folks with MS.4) Cognitive Stimulation5) SocializationAfter you listen to this episode and have an idea of the physiological causes behind cognitive decline, tune back in on the 15th to hear my conversation with Dr. Ari Tuckman who is the Author of ADHD after dark.Join us on February 8th at 5 PM pacific time for a FREE presentation on the basics of how MS affects sexual health.www.MSexualHealthHere are a few resources I promised:· Why the Brain uses so much Energy· The Shrinking Hippocampus· Cortisol Research· Research that backs up the benefits of masturbation before bed!
I’m grateful to writers and researchers like Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback because their words expose me to new perspectives and challenge me to rethink my perception of reality. I had a dramatic lightbulb moment about surrendering to vulnerability while reading “The Pleasures of Care: Love, Sex, and disability”. In this bonus episode, I talk about one section in the book that spurred this revelation.You’ll also hear a conversation between my partner Susan and me; we talk about a wheelchair conflict we had several years ago. It’s a discussion about shame, resistance, and control. We’re all a work in progress; all we can do is take steps every day to challenge ourselves and enrich our relationships. Vulnerability is scary for everyone but braving this emotion makes you a superhero in your own story.Be sure to join us for a live Q&A with Dr. Sarah on January 20th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time.Go to www.MSexualHealth/podcast.com to reserve your spot in the conversation. Or sign up on my calendar to get a link to the event.Here are some resources:Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback WebsiteResources and Support through the National MS SocietyAnd finally, as promised, here is a link to Gillian’s website. She worked magic with my new website; if you need web work done, contact her. Do it! She’s fantastic.
The first official MS and Sex episode is here! This month we are diving into the topic of care with researcher and author Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback. She is a professor of women’s studies at Bowling Green State University. One of her research papers led me to her book “The Pleasures of Care: Love, Sex, and Disability”.Anyone listening to this podcast probably understands that nagging fear that can haunt us, even if we are functioning well for the moment: the fear of being a burden on those we love. If I need help walking, dressing or bathing will my partner still see me as a sexy person? I was instantly taken with Dr. Sarah’s writings because she helped me see how I can turn that fear on its head.Here is one of my favorite quotes from her book:“Care is typically experienced as pleasurable when caregiving and receiving have consciously and explicitly been made strange, negotiated, reframed, and even performed through open dialogue and communication.”In our discussion, we talk about:· The power of communication and negotiation as a tool for great sex· How to reframe caregiving· Re-eroticizing different parts of your body· How limited definitions of sex affect disabled and nondisabled folx alike· The intersection of disability, queer culture, and kink culture· We even have a deep conversation about how complicated consent can beBe sure to join us for a live Q&A with Dr. Sarah on January 20th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time.Go to www.MSexualHealth/podcast.com to reserve your spot in the conversation. Or sign up on my calendar to get a link to the event.Here are some resources:Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback WebsiteResources and Support through the National MS SocietyAnd finally, as promised in part two of this episode, here is a link to Gillian’s website. She worked magic with my new website; if you need web work done, contact her. Do it! She’s fantastic.
I'm reposting my MS story as a part of my new focus on "MS and Sex". (It's not "The Pleasure Principle" anymore; however, never fear, we'll still talk plenty about pleasure.)This is the second part of my MS story. I talk about my new direction again and replay a portion of a previous episode with some additional thoughts about how that terrible 2008 episode made me very vulnerable to manipulation and domestic violence. So, be aware that I go into that topic and take care of yourself if you need to.If you are currently in an abusive situation and need to talk to someone these are some places you can call:* National domestic hotline- 1800-799-7233 * National MS Society: 1800-344-4867
Look for the launch of the new podcast beginning next year. I'm calling it "MS and Sex". Clear enough, don't you think?Again, if you have questions or want to share your story please email me at info@MSexualHealth.com.www.MSexualHealth.com
I'm reposting my MS story as a part of my new focus on "MS and Sex". (It's not "The Pleasure Principle" anymore; however, never fear, we'll still talk plenty about pleasure.)In this episode, I talk about my new focus on MS again and then replay a portion of my MS story that aired way back in 2020. (that seems like a decade ago doesn't it?) We all have a diagnosis story and many of us have had MS long enough to have a story about "the bad one".Part One covers my diagnosis in 1993, and Part Two covers "the MS episode that was never supposed to happen to me".If you or someone you love has MS, please reach out to me at info@MSexualHealth.com. I'm gathering stories! We all have unique tales to tell and they are treasures that help listeners and storytellers alike.www.MSexualHealth.com
Last month, I talked about the primary, secondary, and tertiary effects that MS has on our sexuality. This month, I'm going to talk specifically about how our sexual self-worth is affected.I talk about:* how our body image can take a hit * how our limited definitions of "sex" can hold us back * how MS affects our relationship dynamics * how MS can make us vulnerable to domestic violence
This episode is based on a workshop that I'm developing. There is a lot of really important information to cover and I'm having a great time digging into research on this topic and distilling it all into a fascinating class.I hope you find this episode helpful, pass it around to anyone you think will benefit from hearing it! I have a couple of episodes coming up that are re-edits of my MS story but other than that, you won't hear much from me until the beginning of next year.I'm going to be busy creating a new website, new content for workshops, and gathering up interviews with researchers to be used in future episodes. If you have an MS story to tell, reach out to me at JoyfulSexEd@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you.Here is a list of some of the resources that were referenced in this episode: Kaufman, M., Silverberg, C., & Odette, F. (2003). The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. San Francisco: Cleis Press Inc. * Nielsen, K. E. (2012). A Disability History of the United States . Boston: Beacon Press . * Timkova, V. (2021). Sexual functioning in patients with multiple sclerosis and its association with social support and self-esteem. Psychology, Health and Medicine VOL. 26m NO. 8, 980-990. * G. Bronner, E. E. (2010). Female sexuality in multiple sclerosis: the multidimensional nature of the problem and the intervention. Acta Neurologica Scandinavica , 289-301. * Alexander, C. J., Sipski, M. L., & Findley, T. W. (1993). Sexual Activities, desire, and satisfaction in males pre and post-spinal cord injury. Archives of Sexual Behavior*, 217-228. * Here is the number for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society: 1-800-344-4867 * Here is the number for the national domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233
This episode features one expert that I rarely highlight: me! Sexual dysfunction (SD) is frequently discounted as an unfortunate, yet unimportant outcome of chronic illness. I am not a doctor or a therapist, but I AM a holistic sex educator who happens to have multiple sclerosis. I was diagnosed almost 30 years ago, so I have had struggles and gained wisdom that I hope will benefit you as well.When folx think about M.S. and sex, they may not see the correlation, much less causation. The good news is that there is a growing body of research that is giving us some answers. Today, I will outline the three categories of M.S. effects on sex: primary, secondary, and tertiary. This is an overview that will get us started on an interesting, reassuring, and exciting path to sexual health and well-being.After listening, join us on October 20th at 5 PM for a live Q&A. We’ll talk in more detail about the causes of sexual dysfunction in MS patients and then we’ll cover some solutions. Go to my Instagram profile to find the link to that event @JoyfulSexEd. While you're at it follow me and let me know what you think about this episode and tell me what you'd like to learn next!Or, here's a link tree page with all kinds of goodies: https://linktr.ee/Joyful_Sex_EdHere's a handy resource from the M.S. Society here in the United States.M.S. and Intimacy Brochure from the Multiple Sclerosis Society(note: this is an updated version that corrects some unclear wording around the definition of primary and secondary effects of MS on sexual health)
This is a featured episode of "My Immune System Hates Me!". Chelsey produces a great podcast where she interviews folx with autoimmune disorders, and in this episode she interviews me. As someone who has been on the other side of the mic stand/camera for decades- this felt vulnerable and like a loss of control. Interestingly, this is one of the many topics we covered in this interview. I talk about what M.S. is, my diagnosis, and how I took denial so far it could have cost me my life. We talk about the ways in which chronic illness can affect sexuality and ways that we can deal with those challenges; including how some kink activities may be helpful for those suffering from chronic illness. If you do not have a disability or chronic illness, then you are a TAB and this episode is for you as well. (tune in to learn what a TAB is)Find Chelsey on her website: MyImmuneSystemPod.com. You can find out about her RA warriors group there as well as order a copy of the upcoming book that features her essay. Follow her on Instagram and FB @MyImmuneSystemPodDon't forget to follow, rate and review our podcasts!
The charming and delightful Chelsey Storteboom is my guest this month. She is a singer/dancer/actor in NYC. Her podcast is "My Immune System Hates Me!" In this engaging podcast, she not only gets real about her own diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis but she interviews other folks with autoimmune disorders. As a matter of fact, she interviewed me and that will be airing in a week or so. The link to her podcast is below.We talk about her diagnosis experience. I ask her how it has affected her connection to her body, how it has affected her willingness to be in a relationship, and how she plans to disclose her diagnosis when she does start dating again. Be sure to join us on September 20th at 5:00 PM for our live Q&A. We'll talk more about sexual well-being in the context of chronic illness. We would love to hear about your experiences and give you a chance to ask any questions that this episode brought up for you.Get to the podcast and the Live Q&A through this link:https://linktr.ee/Joyful_Sex_EdChelsey's Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-immune-system-hates-me/id1530473093Instagram @MyImmuneSystemPodHere is her website: https://www.myimmunesystempod.com/
September of 2021 is the month that I shift my focus from general sex education to Holistic Sex Education in the context of M.S. and other chronic illnesses. I know from experience that multiple sclerosis and other chronic illnesses affect our connection to our bodies and our sexuality. I also know that it is difficult if not impossible to get supportive, evidence-based answers to these challenges from our healthcare providers. It has taken me decades to get real with myself about having a progressive and incurable disease; but I have learned a lot along my stumbling path forward and I am committed to helping others find answers, empowerment, and a sense of peace.So as always..."Get ready. Don't flinch!"Get to our live Q&A through this link: https://linktr.ee/Joyful_Sex_Ed
This is another special episode of The Pleasure Principle Podcast. I am producing this series for the people in my life who are fighting off the COVID-19 virus right now. All my meditations will be based on scientific fact, though some of them will indulge in more artistic license silliness than others. My two main sources of information for this episode are posted below; one is a link from the National Institute of Health (NIH) and one is from the Radio Lab podcast which is an episode that focuses on breath. As I witness the tragedy of this pandemic unfold in the United States of America, it has dawned on me that we will have a large population of people experiencing the long-term effects of illness brought on by the COVID-19 virus. Because many of the long-term side effects are neurologically based, I have some understanding of what their struggles will feel like. Fatigue, brain fog, weakness; these are all symptoms I deal with daily. It is my hope that disabled and chronically ill folks who have learned to deal with these disheartening symptoms will be a resource for those who may suffer some amount of long-term covid. I wish you all a rapid recovery and good health. Everyone, get vaccinated so this madness can end. Resources:NIH: https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health-topics/how-lungs-workRadio Lab: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/radiolab/id152249110?i=1000525199233
Today we are talking about how cancer affects our sexuality and how the medical community can help us deal with the challenges brought on by the course of the disease as well as the treatments. Dr. Boatman's specialty is the AYA population, or Adolescents and Young Adults- this means anyone from 15-39 years old. However, you can benefit from this information at any age!In Part One, we talk about Dr. Boatman's research, how she conducted it, and who can benefit from the conclusions. We talk about how cancer affects social and emotional health, how this population responds differently to cancer treatments and the barriers to getting the sexual health information you want. We learn the term "self of the therapist" and how to tell if your provider is doing their own personal work. We talk about the guidelines for treating sexual health issues she created for providers and she gives you some tips on how you can advocate for yourself.Dr. Beth Boatman completed her Ph.D. in Family Therapy at Texas Woman’s University with a primary research focus in adolescent and young adult (AYA) oncology, medical family therapy, and sexual/relationship health.The title of her dissertation is: DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE SEXUAL HEALTH CONVERSATIONS WITH ADOLESCENT AND YOUNG ADULT ONCOLOGY PATIENTSShe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Texas and a Certified Sexuality Educator-Supervisor with AASECT. For the past 10 years, she has been providing sexual health education and presentations aimed at enhancing the health and wellness of her community. Her most recent adventure is being a new mama.Email Dr. Boatman at Beth@YourSensualHealth.comHere is a copy of the document you can take into your provider to help start the conversations: Evidence-Based Interventions to Address Sexual Problems for People with Cancer, by the American Society of Clinical Oncology Practice Guidelines: Brief Handout.
Today we are talking about how cancer affects our sexuality and how the medical community can help us deal with the challenges brought on by the course of the disease as well as the treatments. Dr. Boatman's specialty is the AYA population, or Adolescents and Young Adults- this means anyone from 15-39 years old. However, you can benefit from this information at any age!Be sure to go back and listen to part one, there is so much good information. But, in Part Two, we talk about Dr. Boatman's research, how she conducted it, and who can benefit from the conclusions. We talk about the Therapeutic Alliance and how important it is to create a trustworthy network of medical providers. She talks about working with family systems and their dynamics during cancer treatment and how maintaining compassion is the key. We cover the three main themes that came out of her research: 1)How does a provider determine what is developmentally appropriate sexual health information and treatment, 2) What information and sexual health knowledge should a provider have, and 3) What sort of information and assessments should be given. Dr. Boatman talks about fertility and pelvic floor health during cancer treatments and how to have these important conversations with your providers. Finally, she talks about the special needs of the LGBTQIA population during cancer treatments.Dr. Beth Boatman completed her Ph.D. in Family Therapy at Texas Woman’s University with a primary research focus in adolescent and young adult (AYA) oncology, medical family therapy, and sexual/relationship health.The title of her dissertation is: DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE SEXUAL HEALTH CONVERSATIONS WITH ADOLESCENT AND YOUNG ADULT ONCOLOGY PATIENTSShe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Texas and a Certified Sexuality Educator-Supervisor with AASECT. For the past 10 years, she has been providing sexual health education and presentations aimed at enhancing the health and wellness of her community. Her most recent adventure is being a new mama.Email Dr. Boatman at Beth@YourSensualHealth.comHere is a copy of the document you can take into your provider to help start the conversations: Evidence-Based Interventions to Address Sexual Problems for People with Cancer, by the American Society of Clinical Oncology Practice Guidelines: Brief Handout.
Kailey Larson is a Holistic Sex Educator completing her certification at the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment. It was through this program that I heard her presentation, “Be In The Now: Sex, Shame, & DBT”. Kailey has taken the knowledge from 10 years of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to create a toolbox of skills that she is offering anyone who is ready to move on from shame and anxiety. You can find her on Instagram @KaileyDelayne.We have all grown up in a culture that shames folx for their bodies and their sexuality. Last month Dr. Don talked about the sources of shame and how it affects us and the larger culture. Reprograming these limiting messages takes time and effort, but there are specific things you can DO when shame rears its ugly head. Listen in and then join us for a live Q&A on July 20th as we explore these concepts in more depth- together. Kailey will share more resources with us and answer any questions that have come up for you as you listen to this month’s thought-provoking episode.Here is a simple explanation of DBT: https://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/mindfulness-in-dbtIf you have experienced sexual violence and have PTSD, please reach out to a therapist before using these techniques. AASECT (Referral Directory | AASECT:: American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists), Psychology Today also has a referral list (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists). Here are some hotline services recommended by RAIIN: Consulting Services at RAINN | RAINNJoin our community at www.JoyfulSexEd.com or email me at JoyfulSexEd@gmail.com for a link to our Q&A.
This is a special edition of our most downloaded episode, it is packed with thought-provoking content. I also add a personal story about how a lack of fact-based comprehensive sex ed affected me. For this episode, we sat down with Dr. Don Lucas, a professor of Psychology at Northwest Vista College in San Antonio Texas. He is also the dynamic host of "5 MI Weekly" on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQFQ0vPPNPS-LYhlbKOzpFw/playlistsIn the episode I also promise a link to learn more about the Harlow Monkey study, here it is: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/harlows-classic-studies-revealed-the-importance-of-maternal-contact.htmlThank you for listening! I am so grateful that you gave me 34 minutes of your time, I hope you felt that it was time well spent. Your feedback is invaluable to me, please take a moment to rate, review and share the podcast. I cannot tell you how much this will help me as I develop further content.
Jennifer Erickson is a Ph.D. candidate in the Social/Industrial-Organizational Psychology program at Northern Illinois University. Her primary research interests include the positive consequences of pain, altered states of consciousness, extreme rituals, and sadism. As part of the Science of BDSM research team, Jen has presented her work at several academic conferences and has presented workshops at several BDSM-community conferences and clubs.Erickson is part of the research team that Phoenix B mentioned in our April interview. She talks to us about the research methodology used to study the hook pull ritual and why they chose those methods. We talk about a few different ways they gathered data, what that data tells us, and why these results are relevant for the broader population. I practice saying "Phenomenology of Consciousness Inventory"; I never did get it right but Jen explains what this important measurement means.We also learn the terms "flow" and "transient hypo-frontality". We talk about the chemical and brain wave changes a person goes through during these events, and she teaches us the difference between everyday sadism and pro-social sadism.We dive into a discussion about the extreme rituals/intense events we experience in life, such as birth, how these experiences affect us, and we ponder why these powerful events are cloaked in suspicion and fear.To join us for a live QA& on May 20th at 5:00 PM PDT, go to Our Website and click “Join our Community”. Everyone is welcome and it's a free community, but joining as a supporting member gives you access to all the Q&A recordings and extended versions. I had to cut out 25 minutes of thought-provoking information from this fascinating conversation.Here is a link to the Science of BDSM Research team’s publications and presentations.
This is the first in our series on Transformation Through Extreme Ritual; in today’s episode we talk about Ritual Scarification with Phoenix B. Rituals, and specifically extreme rituals have long been a part of humanity. Why are we drawn to these experiences despite the fact that they have become taboo in modern, western cultures? Get ready to think outside the box as you learn the ways that other people practice communal, ritualized healing. It doesn’t have to be the answer for you, but it could inspire you to find your own path to restorative transformation.Phoenix identifies as a Two-Spirit Native of the Cree First Nations and Scots. A Gender Queer Top, Sir, and Daddy. Their “official” entrance into the Seattle BDSM community was by joining their local kink group- Outer Limits- in 1985. Phoenix served as a coordinator for PowerSurge Conferences in the 1990’s and was the co-founder/producer of the Wicked Womyn SM conferences in Seattle. They have taught workshops across the USA, Canada, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and Iceland since 1990. Phoenix produced the video “On The Cutting Edge” demonstrating artistic cutting, which was accepted for the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival 2012. They love “hooks” and have facilitated many energy pulls and suspensions. At the end of the episode notes is a list of some of the events they have attended to do their work and present.Photo of Phoenix taken by Max RulzHere a couple of related resources:Extreme Rituals Promote Prosociality Dimitris Xygalatas et. alScience of BDSM LabThis is a short version of a fascinating interview that covered so much more, like- details of my own ritual scarification, a challenging conversation about consent, we talked about Tops, bottoms, negotiation, power and control, even a little bit about Phoenix’s friend and my fantasy guest Barbara Carrellas and her writings on tantra. So much great stuff!If you have questions or if you want to learn how to gain access to all extended versions, including this one, go to our website at JoyfulSexEd.com and click the “join our community” button.There is no charge to join and it’s where the conversations happen.Like- the Q&A we’ll have on May 20th where I’ll have a small panel of folx talking about their experience of extreme ritual. And, a bonus Q&A on May 15th with the Amazing Dr. Joli Hamilton who will talk to us about making peace with jealousy and all the different ways that we can negotiate structure within our relationships.Go back and listen to her episode and if you want to hear the extended version- which has all kinds of amazing information that had to be cut out…Some of the events Phoenix has served include Rome BDSM Conference - Italy, Women at Leather Pride - Amsterdam, Schmacht-Easter Conference - Berlin, SM Dykes - Manchester England, Reykjavik BDSM-Iceland, OZ Kinkfest – Melbourne AU, Judge at Australia’s 1st M/s Contest – Melbourne, The Reformatory – Brisbane AU, Tawse Manor - Christchurch NZ, Fetfest – Baltimore, Black Beat – Baltimore, Dark Odyssey – Baltimore, Lesbian Sex Mafia - New York, Thunder In The Mountains - Denver, Southwest Leather Conference – Phoenix, International Ms Leather – San Francisco, Floating World – New Jersey, TES Education Series - NYC, Kinkfest – Portland OR, Pacific Friction – Portland OR, Bad Firks – Portland OR, Canadian Mayhem – Vancouver Canada, Indigeo Conception – Victoria Canada, Northern Exposure – Anchorage, Southern Bash – Atlanta, South Plains Leatherfest & International Master/slave Weekend – Dallas, Women In Leather International – Dallas, New England Leather Alliance, Brimstone-NJ, The Society - Connecticut, EvoRevo - Albuquerque, and in Seattle: Wicked Womyn, PowerSurge, Seattle Women of Leather, Center for Sex Positive Culture (the Wetspot), C-Space, Kinky Carnival, and the Blood Faire.Now, in May, our Podcast guest is Jen Erickson, a Ph.D. candidate in the Social/Industrial-Organizational Psychology program at Northern Illinois University. She has been studying extreme ritual, the positive consequences of pain, and altered states of consciousness. She is a part of the research group that Phoenix was talking about so get ready for a different perspective!
Dr. Steffes received her doula certification at DONA International, her sex educator training at Healthy Futures of Texas, her PT degree at Texas State University, and her Doctor of Physical Therapy at Northeastern University and she gained a dual certification in pelvic floor health and obstetric physical therapy at The American Physical Therapy Association Academy of Pelvic Health where she later became an instructor. She has been my friend for about 25 years and is currently a Lavender Farmer in Sequim WA. www.fleurishlavender.com/ You can find Susan peacefully growing lavender with her husband, her dog, and her 3 adorable alpacas. I recommend a visit as soon as the pandemic is behind us.Our conversation runs the gamut from Birth to Death, and of course, we talk about Sex.I need to make one correction. In this interview, I refer to an earlier guest’s work as “Sex Surrogacy”, as our guest Brain Gibney taught us, the correct term is Surrogate Partner Therapy. This matters because sex is not always involved in the work these amazing people provide.After listening to her interview, join us in our JSE Community for a live Q&A session Saturday, March 20th at 5 PM PST. We'll drink a glass of wine (or a cup of tea) together, talk about why Pelvic Floor PT is WAY more important than you think it is, and I'll ask her the questions I didn't get to, like "what can exactly can I expect from an appointment with a PT therapist that specializes in the pelvic floor?" If you're lucky, you can hear fun stories from our past.Find our Community at www.JoyfulSexEd.comEmail me at JoyfulSexEd@gmail.com
We need connection, kindness, and communication now more than ever. It is time to end the anxieties around sexuality that drain our energy, distract us from what is important, and distance us from our innate connection to the world around us. Brian Gibney is a licensed, professional Surrogate Partner Therapist. In this episode, he explains the importance of the life-changing work that he does and dispels the myths that surround this specialized therapeutic modality. On January 21st, Brian will join us in our community for a live Q&A session. He will share more information about the benefits of his work (because 30 minutes is not enough), and he will teach us some exercises that we can use in our lives to enrich our relationships and strengthen our communication skills. He will also talk about what he liked and what he didn't like about the film "The Sessions", which is the only reference point that many folks have about this type of therapy. This is the final episode of Season One of The Pleasure Principle Podcast. We will be back on March 15th as we continue to explore what Sex-Positive Consciousness means to each one of us and how we can use this shift in awareness to create a new, more compassionate world. Here are some links related to the content from today's episode: AASECTInternational Professional Surrogates AssociationSurrogate Partner Therapy Resources
Join us in part two of our series on the dreaded herpes virus as we talk with STIgma slayer Rae Kennedy, RN about her herpes support group Positive Results. Get ready to learn more about herpes than you ever thought you wanted to know and prepare to be deputized as a Herpes Stigma SLAYER.Find Rae on her website HEREIn Part I of this series, we talked about the medical facts and myths about this virus. In Part II, we examine the emotional and social implications of a herpes diagnosis; including when and how to disclose. How do you have that conversation with family, friends, and potential lovers? More importantly, how do you turn that talk into one that is empowering for you and your relationships? Believe it or not, you’re going to really enjoy this episode! I promise.Join us in our community on December 20th at 5pm PST for a live Q&A with RaeYou can always get more information here on our websiteWe are only one of the innumerable creatures inhabiting this planet; currently, there is a particular virus strain that has captured our attention and is a daily topic of conversation. Unfortunately, the general phobia around sexuality and the aversion to talking about genitals (with the appropriate terminology prevents us from having productive conversations about the microbes that cause Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) in the same open manner. Like it or not, the herpes virus is a ubiquitous presence in our lives and though it is not generally life-threatening, along with HIV, it has the dubious honor of being the most feared and stigmatized sexually transmitted infection of all. At this point, there is no cure, so once you are infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2, it never leaves you. However, the virus itself is very manageable, it is the stigma around herpes that causes real devastation. I've been thinking a lot about microbes, in general, a lot lately. How they influence us, create or end relationships, how we couldn't live without them, yet sometimes they lead to our demise. In this episode, I mention Dr. Nicolas Christakis, and his research and books. I highly recommend them! (I confess he is one of my current fantasy guests so I'm putting this request out into the universe so that someday- I'll have the courage to contact him for an interview. I know he'd have a lot to say about how microbes affect our sexual relationships and our attitudes about sex.)
We are only one of the innumerable creatures inhabiting this planet; currently there is a particular virus strain that has captured our attention and is a daily topic of conversation. Unfortunately, the general phobia around sexuality and the aversion to talking about genitals (with the appropriate terminology prevents us from having productive conversations about the microbes that casue Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) in the same open manner. Like it or not, the herpes virus is a ubiquitous presence in our lives and though it is not generally life threatening, along with HIV, it has the dubious honor of being the most feared and stigmatized sexually transmitted infection of all. At this point, there is no cure, so once you are infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2, it never leaves you. However, the virus itself is very manageable, it is the stigma around herpes that causes real devastation. Join us in part one of our series on the dreaded herpes virus as we talk with STIgma slayer Rae Kennedy, RN about her herpes support group Positive Results. Get ready to learn more about herpes than you ever thought you wanted to know and prepare to be deputized as a Herpes Stigma SLAYER.Find Rae on her website HERE In Part I of this series, we talk about the medical facts and myths about this virus. In Part II, we examine the emotional and social implications of a herpes diagnosis; including when and how to disclose. How do you have that conversation with family, friends and potential lovers? More importantly, how do you turn that talk into one that is empowering for you and your relationships? Believe it or not, you’re going to really enjoy this episode! I promise.Join us in our community on December 20th at 5pm PST for a live Q&A with Rae You can always get more information here on our website
This month's episode contains explicit language. For a beeped version, email me at JoyfulSexEd@gmail.com to request a beeped version. I'll be happy to do that for you. This month's episode is lighthearted and inspiriational. I thought we could all use a bit of laughter and fun right now. So- Here you go!From Dawn's Website:"I specifically work with conscious sexuality, pleasure positivity, and manifesting (what I like to call femifesting) with pleasure because I have found that all these combined have gotten my clients and myself the best results for truly living the life they want.Pleasure is meant to be a safe, sacred experience, and living in pleasure creates a life that we flourish in instead of hiding from. This is the work I hope to achieve in this lifetime. I look forward to talking to all about the benefits from pleasure, the helpful ways you can apply pleasure to life and business, and specificallyhow to use pleasure to live a full and prosperous life."After you listen to this interview, write down your questions about Erotic Blueprints, Intentional Orgasms, Femifesting, and any other magical tips and tricks you'd like to learn from this Bada$$ Fairy Godmother. Then join us on Friday, December 4th from 5-6:00 PM PST and you can ask Dawn those brilliant question face to face. Click HERE to join our online community for that discussion Here's our websiteHere is Dawn's website
This month we are so lucky to have the opportunity to spend time with Joan Price; she has been “Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex for 15 years”.Find Joan and all she offers at: www.joanprice.comJoan Price calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She is the author of four books about sex and aging, including the award-winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. Joan’s blog (https://joanprice.com/blog) has been offering senior sex news, views, and sex toy reviews from a senior perspective since 2005.At age 77, Joan Price continues to talk out loud about senior sex -- partnered or solo – in speeches, workshops, and webinars. She writes the Sex at Our Age column for www.SeniorPlanet.org and is the “resident senior sexpert” for the Senior Sex Hub at www.HotOctopuss.com. Joan is the co-creator of the film, “jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex,” which won AASECT’s AV Award 2020.Find Joan and her books and blog at https://joanprice.com.This is also the month we are launching our online community for seniors, anyone who plans to be a senior someday, or anyone who knows and loves a senior, here at www.community.joyfulsexed.com.On October 24th we will be hosting an open house so that you can come in and get a feel for what this space will offer. I’ll offer a tease of my Power of Pleasure workshop, we’ll have a virtual sit down, face to face conversation with Dr. Don Lucas, Toni Solene, and Dr. Joli Hamilton. If you haven’t listened to these three episodes, go back and do it- because this is your chance to ask them questions and tell them how much you enjoyed their wise words. We’ll also have a social hour at the end of the evening so that y’all can get a chance to meet each other. This is going to be an enriching and supportive community that offers the safety and confidentiality that FB cannot. Please join us on Saturday, October 24th from 5-8 eastern time, I know you’ll love it!
Episode Notes for “Jealousy Destigmatized with Dr. Joli Hamilton”Make peace with the Green-Eyed Monster, Jealousy. Dr. Joli Hamilton talks about the history of marriage, defangs the complex emotion of jealousy, tells us what we can gain from talking about this taboo topic, offers a fundamental understanding of the alternative family structure of polyamory, turns us on to the magical word “numinous”, offers a lesson on the archetypal framework of jealousy, recounts some dramatic moments in Greek mythology that educate us about the power of this emotion, discusses how we can end the tragedy of extramarital affairs, and help facilitate a positive direction as the world experiences a shift in consciousness.Whew! It’s a loaded episode and this shortened version will get you started. To hear the longer version, sign up on a waitlist for our Joyful Sex Education Community. Don’t forget to click subscribe so that you are updated each time an episode comes out. If you love the guests on this podcast as much as I do, please rate and review!Here is a link to the Intercepted Podcast episode that ties in perfectly with this episode.Find out more about Dr. Joli Hamilton here. Here is a link to her informative and readable dissertation.If you want to dive deeper into this topic, here is a list of publications she recommends:Jealousy in the context of polyamory:· Cathy Labriola’s Jealousy Workbook· Kitty Chambliss’s The Jealousy Survival GuideFor Polyamory:· Sophie Lucado Johnson’s Many Loves (memoir and more)· Carrie Jenkin’s What Love Is and What it Could Be (philosophy but so readable!)For non polyamorous jealousy, Dr. Hamilton recommends:· Ayala Malach Pines, “Romantic Jealousy: causes, symptoms, and Cures” (though Dr. Hamilton says, “I would NEVER use the word cure in relation to jealousy, however many people do and Pines handles the topic extremely well.”
What can the Leather Community teach us? Toni Solenne is a sex positive social activist warrior! We talk with her about what the leather community means to her; we hear about her new book- "Women in Leather: Shaping Our Own Identity.Have you ever wondered what those kinky people are all about? In this interview, you will hear from a Leatherdyke about what this concept means to her and why she was drawn to this community. Not into kink? That's okay! These words of wisdom are for you too.You can find Toni's book on Amazon, search for "Women in Leather: Shaping Our Own Identity" by Toni Solenne
Sometimes, life gets hard. In these times, we need to look to others and learn from their experience and individual wisdom. India Harville is an African American, femme queer, disabled, Access-Centered Movement dancer, choreographer, bodyworker, and social justice educator. The unifying thread in India’s work is facilitating people working with their bodies as a vehicle for personal and collective growth and transformation. She is fantastic! You will love her velvety voice and her words of wisdom. I will also talk about my brush with death with "The M.S. Episode that was Never Supposed to Happen to Me". Here is India's website: www.lovingtheskinyouarein.com I also mention a very important book I am reading with many folks from around the world. It is "My Grandmother's hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies. Try to buy the hardcopy from a local bookstore but I believe they are on backorder. I got a kindle version on Amazon. Remember to click the "Subscribe" button; all that does is send you the next episode when it's available. Enjoy!
Bonus! Here is an Embodiment Meditation guided by India Harville. I had a COVID-19 scare last week (YIKES!) and so I listened to my body and took a few days off. Drift away on the dulcet tones of India’s voice, go back and listen to the second “Prolly Gonna Cut that Out” with Roz Dischiavo, and go to https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/a-letter-from-the-virus-listen/ to watch a really beautiful short film that will give you hope. That should keep you busy until I have the full episode up in just a few days. Remember to rate, review and subscribe! Here’s India’s Website: www.lovingtheskinyouarein.com
“You don’t have to be disabled to experience ableism.” Who gets to define ABILITY? Historically, who has deemed certain people valuable while telling others to stay quiet and in the background? How does this affect the culture that we live in? So many questions! In today’s episode we learn about ableism, and I’ll talk about how internalized ableism has affected my wellbeing. I introduce you to concepts from some folks in the disability justice community including Stacy Milburn, Rabbi Rose Kukla, and Dr. Angel Love Miles. I’ll also interview Joleen Nevers. She is an instructor at ISEE and teaches the Sexability class that blew my mind and exposed me to the ways in which I had been hating on myself and my disability. I hope that it will introduce you to some ideas that will spark some excitement and hope within you.Here is a small list of resources that I think you might find interesting:Ten Principles of Disability Justice: https://www.sinsinvalid.org/blog/10-principles-of-disability-justice· Joleen Nevers: https://instituteforsexuality.com/about/faculty/joleen-nevers/· Crip Camp: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crip_Camp· Stacy Milburn writings: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/05/23/staceytaughtus-syllabus-work-by-stacey-milbern-park/?fbclid=IwAR3V7_0NNUrhQ9G_dIBiLughybipeYMs0jwN9Kju8UVzs7ekLxFQDya4zyQ· Patrick Cokely: https://galtfoundation.org/martin-luther-king-jr-inclusive-disability-community-1· Habin Girma: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2019/11/excerpt-from-the-deafblind-woman-who-conquered-harvard-law/· The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: (Cory Silverberg, one of the authors of this book, acknowledges that though there is fantastic information to be found within its pages, he has grown and learned that there is a huge portion of disability justice values missing. He notes that there were no black contributors involved in writing this and so it is important to reach out to the broader community to gain a more holistic understanding of disability and sexuality. Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good https://www.akpress.org/pleasure-activism.html
A little input from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, some gratitude for our narrator from the last episode, and an update on the new format that begins in June. Here is where you can find more info about my creative website designer, Julian Maltby. Thank you for your fabulous voice and your creative mind.https://formacuento.com/
This episode will expand your mind and heart. Join us for a deep dive into the interconnectedness of sexuality and the evolution of consciousness. We hear more from Dr. Dischiavo, then jump down a rabbit hole as we ponder Jean Gebser’s theory of evolution and how it relates to our sexual nature and where we might be after we emerge from this pandemic.Here are some links to check out:The Institute for Sex Education and Enlightenment:https://instituteforsexuality.com/“The Evolution of Consciousness According to Jean Gebser” by Ulrich J, Mohrhoff:https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/8280/da861df9889a5f8f8ec210b3c50803cd3197.pdfAmerican Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapistshttps://www.aasect.org/Sex Ed for Social Change:https://siecus.org/Society for the Scientific Study of Sexualityhttp://sexscience.org/Brene Brown clip on the power of vulnerability:http://sexscience.org/I also want to thank Julian Maltby for reading the part of Jean Gebser. He did this while redesigning our website and updating our logo. I highly recommend him for web and graphic work. Who knows? Maybe he'll do some narration for you if you ask nicely. Here is is website: https://formacuento.com/Join us on our Facebook page at Joyful Sex Education and our website:www.JoyfuSexEd.com
In part two of "Why is Sex Education Important?", we spend time talking with Dr. Rosalynn Dischiavo. She is the director of ISEE, the president elect of AASECT, and the author of "The Deep Yes, the lost art of true receiving". The links to these organizations and her book are below. Don't forget to offer feedback on our Facebook page or take the time to rate, review and share this podcast. Thank you! The Deep Yes: https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Yes-Lost-True-Receiving-ebook/dp/B01COCGE74The Institute for Sex Education and Enlightenment:https://instituteforsexuality.com/AASECT:https://www.aasect.org/about/about
First, if you haven't listened to the first episode in the "Why is Sex education Important?" series, please listen to that first. Then come back to this one.Resources used in this episode:Field, T. (2010). Touch for socioemotional and physical well-being: A review. Developmental review, 30(4), 367-383.Green, L. (2017). The trouble with touch? New insights and observations on touch for social work and social care. British Journal of Social Work, 47(3), 773-792.The relationship resource I have for you is the Gottman institute. We've attended a couple's weekend based on their work and it has been very helpful in strengthening our communication skills. https://www.gottman.com/blog/category/love-relationships/If you have a therapist, see if they are doing remote sessions, and if you don't have one, search for therapists in your area. I can guarantee that you'll find people who are going remote. There are also a number of platforms that are app based, a therapist friend of mine recommended Fast Company: https://www.fastcompany.com/90440201/this-app-matches-marginalized-communities-to-therapists-who-share-their-backgroundAnother friend said that the therapists at her clinic use an app called "Mend". You can find that in the app store. Here are some DV resources:Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233Here are a couple of books:“The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans“Why does he DO that?” by Lundy BancroftDV is increasing around the world during this pandemic, you are not alone. Here are a couple of articles: https://theintercept.com/2020/04/13/coronavirus-lockdown-domestic-violence/https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/06/world/coronavirus-domestic-violence.htmlFinally, in this episode I point out that it is good to keep in mind that some people are struggling more than others with shelter, food, and safety. Beyond “keeping them in mind”, which is kind of like “thoughts and prayers”, we can donate to organizations that are helping people. I’m going to donate a portion of my “fuck you trump check” to a local food pantry, and another portion to a local women’s shelter. So, if you are in good shape financially, you might think about googling organizations that are in a position to make a difference to make a little donation.
We are excited to share our first full episode of The Pleasure Principle, "Why is Sex Education Important?". For this episode, we sat down with Dr. Don Lucas, a professor of Psychology at Northwest Vista College in San Antonio Texas. He is also the dynamic host of "5 MI Weekly" on You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQFQ0vPPNPS-LYhlbKOzpFw/playlistsIn the episode I also promise a link to learn more about the Harlow Monkey study, here it is: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/harlows-classic-studies-revealed-the-importance-of-maternal-contact.htmlThank you for listening! I am so grateful that you gave me 34 minutes of your time, I hope you felt that it was time well spent. Your feedback is invaluable to me, please take a moment to rate, review and share the podcast. I cannot tell you how much this will help me as I develop further content. I look forward to our next episode!Remember to keep an eye out for this week's companion episode: "Prolly Gonna Cut This Out", where I will talk about one thing that stuck out at me in this interview. I'll also share a great exercise for you to do as you shelter in place. Until next time, stay safe and well.
Get ready for episode #1 (Part One and Two) of "Why is Sex Education Important. How do you get ready? By listening to this introduction, checking out the links I have included in the description, calling 1-888-569-3854 to ask questions or share your experiences. Then- share the link to this podcast. Please! Dr. Don Lucas and his series "Human Sexuality Education": https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrr7zGRzgYQ_jm19XXHkL-e1X-E0zbiMYDr. Rosalyn Dischiavo and her "Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment": https://instituteforsexuality.com/about/director-founder/Thank you for listening!