NOT YOUR AVERAGE OPERATOR: Recent Episodes
Heroes Media Group
Humility. Honesty. Action. A unique look into the everyday challenges that life and military service ultimately brings to both active duty military members and veterans. Join us as not your average veterans Mike, Raf, and Melon dive into some of life’s hardest questions, challenges, and situations as they open up their lives and personal experiences and dissect them in a way that can bring out the best version of ourselves, and help leave the negative in the rearview mirror. From training and deployments, to family and friends; this is a discussion you do not want to miss.
As for all things that have a beginning, they must also have an end. This week, we are proud to put the “final” stamp on our NYAO podcast journey after 90 straight weeks. 90 straight weeks of our core pillars of humility, honesty, and action. Sharing stories and lessons of failure, victory, and everything in between.
Throughout our time, Mike, Melon, and Raf have gone through a substantial amount of growth. Learning to speak to one another and access new levels of emotional intelligence, communication, and significance. You, our listeners, have only added to that vine with your shared stories and experiences. We have been happy and honored to have you along the trail with us.
In this episode you will hear the teams final thoughts on the 90 week journey, what it means to them, and what is ahead. There will also be new details on the future as the trio will evolve and relaunch 01 June 2022 with their new brand and title:
“Pushing Back Chaos”
W/ Melon, Mike, and Raf
Watch out for advertisements on FB, IG, Twitter, Linked In, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Heroes Media Group in the coming weeks!
Cheers and thank you from the NYAO Podcast team! We’ll see you soon!
Very Respectfully,
Mike
Paul “Melon” McFAdden
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
It’s always great to take stock of where you have been- this is one of the most important parts of determining where you are now, and helps refocus on the journey ahead.
Raf opens this episode revealing where he is now in life. Sharing the house he dreamed of with his extended family, and about to embark on a 10 day trip that will culminate with him completing his type rating and certification in his airline job. These initially only existed in his mind, but over the course of our series, our audience has witnessed his journey, as he went about creating the life of his dreams from possibility to actuality.
Your team then take the time to go over some of their standout episodes- a difficult task after nearly 90 episodes over 20 months. We only release conversations that we feel reflect who we are and support our aim of attempting to push back the chaos, along side you, our audience.
It can be rare sometimes to find a space or a group where men share honestly and deeply. We opened our podcast series with a conversation right from the heart- about our biggest setbacks. This set the stage for how our subsequent episodes flowed and the show unfolded. Big topics, attempting to remain authentic and to normalize men discussing life while having a few laughs.
We have been blessed with amazing guests- too many to mention in this short summary, but together we remember a few that left lasting impressions on us, and about whom we received a lot of feedback.
Your team finish with a major reveal about an opportunity they see ahead of them.
Let us know about some of your favorite episodes, topics and guests. Maybe a story touched you, or you were motivated by a guest. Maybe there was a favorite story that still makes you laugh.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
As a follow-up to last week’s episode on being authentic, we must acknowledge that while being genuine, it is important to understand what we are attempting to be a part of. Whether it be a relationship, a work environment, a political party, or within a family.
In order to conform, one must accept and understand the positives and negatives that may come along with the decision, as all others do. Throughout this process, people in the world have the right to change and evolve. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst. As Mike says, “Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade.”
Conforming can bring unity, identity, teamwork, power, and friendships. On the flipside, it can also bring blind loyalty, abuse of power, censorship, non-authenticity, and divisiveness. It is important for us to always evaluate our own morals, standards, and character and assess whether or not the groups we are part of stand for and reflect those exact key pillars. Whether you are brand new to the environment, or a veteran of 20 years, we should always strive to be the voice of reason in all aspects and hold the standards for the greater good.
Do you have some examples of both good and bad instances in which conforming came into effect? Was it addressed? How was it resolved? We’d love to hear your responses.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
“This above all: to thine own self be true
And it must follow, as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any man”
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet
People often speak of being “Authentic”. What does it mean? How does this play out in life? Authenticity, in the context of this episode, is defined as the degree to which our actions are aligned with our values and desires- especially when there is pressure to behave differently. How closely are being true to ourselves?
With some people, we know that we can really be our true selves. We can bring everything we have to the table. We know them, and they know us down to the ground. We have true freedom and full self-expression in these relationships. We feel alive.
In other situations, we repress our thoughts or feelings under a layer. We are “inauthentic”. We have a loss of full self-expression. There are ways of being or topics we can’t touch. We feel fake or repressed.
Clearing these relationships up takes honesty and the willingness to take responsibility for letting things slide. As Raf says, sometimes we “need to put the ugly baby on the table”. Which is Melon’s new favourite English phrase.
In this conversation, you’ll hear examples of work and personal relationships where a straight conversation took place, and authenticity was restored. Your hosts distinguish between authenticity and being an ass. You can be straight and kind. You can clear up a past error and end with no negative charge in the space between you and the other person.
In all cases, you can at least get any skeletons out of your closet and out of your future. You can remove the mask and know you aren’t faking it with that person anymore.
Let us know of a time when you have restored a relationship and experienced being authentic. Try having a conversation with this aim this week- let us know how it goes.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
This week, the boys felt compelled to talk about a somber topic; the invasion of Ukraine. On the eve of the 5th day of the Russian invasion, the guys felt it was important to try and focus on many of the inspiring and positive stories that have been propagating the news from the front lines. Stories of leadership and sacrifice. Strong men and women making difficult decisions to save their country and families, while forging ahead to hold off invading forces. They share their thoughts on the inspiring true tales of the famous Ukrainian boxing champions, the Klitschko Brothers, who have left their life of luxury to defend their native lands. Similarly, President Zelensky is celebrated for his ability to rise to the occasion as a war time leader. They run some parallels from their former experiences while serving in various combat theaters overseas. All three make an effort to funnel their current frustration with anecdotal talking points on how we can all glean fundamental importances that would massively benefit our society here in the Western First World to avoid the destruction of peace as we’re witnessing in Ukraine.. Clear cut examples by the individuals in Ukraine fighting for their lives. Fundamental importances such as, making every effort to never dehumanize any opponent. Striving to be an absolute dangerous monster, but controlled and harnessed as a sheepdog, rather than a tyrant. Finally, they want to remind everyone that no one ever wins in a war, not even the victors.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what you can do to support Ukraine in their fight for survival as a sovereign nation. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
This week, the boys were inspired to talk about the many layered approaches that have historically proved fruitful for transitioning veterans, as well as themselves in establishing bonds similar to their time in service. More pointedly, they discussed how to shift your mind and processes to ensure a positively gained experience as you leave your old (military) tribe, and venture out to find your new (civilian) tribe.
They had a deep discussion on some of the catastrophic results that can come from dissociating from our evolutionary deep rooted inclination to be an intrinsic member in communal life. Largely, having others depend on you, as much as you depend on them, as is commonly experienced in high stressed, high risk tight knit organizations like the military, law enforcement, and alike.
Mike spends some time warning that a significant number of veterans are unfortunately setting themselves up for downfalls by having an expectation of entitlement that more often diminishes the core life skills developed through unique hardships and challenges experienced in a combat environment.
Melon highlights that injecting yourself into a sport you love is a great opportunity to cultivate those bonds we’re seeking, but also play a massive role in mental health rehabilitation.
Raf shares anecdotal stories he heard on a recent podcast and how humanity’s mental health, and its ability to deal with trauma reaches the apex when the individual is surrounded by a close knit tribe, are not just coincidentally related, but necessary and backed by countless studies.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what works best for them to unindoctrinate from an old organization while successfully cultivating strong ties with a new one whose' contrasts are stark. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
This week, the NYAO team is proud to welcome our friend and NFL lineman BJ Finney, from the Pittsburgh Steelers.
BJ joins us to discuss what he routinely calls his “Unfair Advantage.”- Being handed the worst of circumstances at a young age,only to learn the lessons and prosper from them sooner rather than later in life.
His story is one of great loss and then to uncompromising success, beginning with the unexpected passing of his father, followed by many years of struggles to pay for college, medical issues, and taking care of his family and evolving into a successful 7 year tenure in the NFL.
As BJ explains, life can be viewed in a few ways. For one, life can be a game of poker in which we are dealt a random hand and we can either focus on the less than desired cards we received, or have positive inputs and build upon that hand to win at life.
Another way is to think of life as a road with multiple forks in the road. On a daily basis, we find ourselves coming to that decision point on not just one instance, but multiple. It is up to us to choose not just easiest path, but right path to get us where we want to be.
If you can relate to BJ’s story and you’d like to reach out, have questions, or comments, reach out to us! We always enjoy to hear from our listeners!
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Have you ever wondered if you actually were fitting in? Whether it be a professional group, friends, new acquaintances, family, or even an intimate relationship?
Sometimes we struggle to “fit in”, but if we are struggling, we must ask ourselves an honest question: Do we even belong in it if we are struggling and it’s not who we really are?
Listen in as the trio of Raf, Mike, and Melon open up and discuss some of their own experiences on fitting in as children in a gang environment, to going through a culture transition in special operations, and the trials of acceptance in the aviation community while also reflecting on some of the considerations one must make to feel accepted into a community, group, or relationship.
Some of the questions we must ask ourselves:
-Why do I want to be a part of this?
-Why do I want to be accepted?
-Do I accept myself for who I am?
-If things change, am i comfortable walking away and being ok?
Let us hear your stories and share your thoughts on what it means to “fit in.”
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Young people when asked said the main thing they wanted in life was to make a lot of money. More than 80% listed this first.
Is this the best indicator or sign post for a good and fulfilling life?
How could we ever know?
Harvard University has been tracking a group of students for more than 75 years, and the results of this huge study reveal that the number and strength of social connections throughout our life is the best indicator of our future physical health, mental functioning and sense of happiness.
At the same time, suicide rates among men are skyrocketing in synch with rates of loneliness. Men over 45 reporting loneliness increased from 20% to 33% in ten years, while the suicide rate in this group went up 50% in the same period. Male suicide rates are 3.7 times higher than among females.
Men struggle with self-expression- of their internal emotional state, and especially with the ability to tell significant people that they love them. And yet boys up to their early teens are just as open and expressive as their sisters.
How are these things linked and what can be done about it?
How can we help boys and men make progress in these critical areas?
Join you hosts as they take on a topic that they feel it is essential to address: the ability to self-express and generate meaningful relationships as life moves forward.
There are take away’s here for all of us- not just men. But think especially about men in your life you love- from boys to grandfathers- as it applies to them even more.
Our challenge to you is to initiate a conversation with someone new for the first time. Let us know how it went for you.
References:
Harvard Study of Adult Development
https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/
TED Talk by Dr Robert Waldinger, 4th Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development
https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness?language=en
Mark Green’s article “Why do we murder the beautiful friendships of boys?”
https://medium.com/remaking-manhood/why-do-we-murder-the-beautiful-friendships-of-boys-3ad722942755
Commuter Study- University of Chicago Booth Prof. Nicholas Epley
https://www.chicagobooth.edu/media-relations-and-communications/press-releases/mom-was-wrong-you-should-talk-to-strangers
2019 BBC Article on the same topic:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-48459940
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Ever wonder what kind of leader you are? Does it match your personality? Are there instances when you have to shift from one style to the next depending on the environment? Now you can find out!
This week, the team tackles the 5 styles of leadership and share some of their own experiences and how they are as leaders.
5 Styles of Leadership: * Authoritative: imposes expectations and define outcomes.
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Participative: involves team members in the decision making process.
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Delegative: gives initiative to team members.
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Transactional: presents rewards, punishments and other exchanges to get the job done.
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Transformational: inspires his or her followers with a vision and then encourages and empowers them to achieve it.
To find out about yourself, we recommend you visit:
PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT:
https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/IPIP-BFFM/
LEADERSHIP ASSESSMENT:
https://www.verywellmind.com/whats-your-leadership-style-3866929
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
This week, the boys are doing some Q&A for the listeners. What do you want your legacy to be? More pointedly, what impact do you think your existence will have after you’ve physically passed on. All three responses were unique in their emergence, yet they shared fundamental threads in their finale. Melon gave a philosophical response that centered on the current and future wellbeing of his family. Every day, the actions he takes are to some degree, mirrored off the health of his family, and the current state they’re in, both collectively and individually. Mike idiosyncratically focuses his attributes to build a legacy that he has refined down to 4 pillars he wants to be moored to. That is, he wants to be remembered as Authentic, a Warrior, Humble, and a Beacon of Resiliency. Finally, Raf hopes that his legacy will be his ability to validate that unique drive of the human spirit to achieve what you dream, regardless of where you are in life and its infinite number of obstacles that will stand in your way. He hopes his story will inspire others with similar crossroads to exhaust every effort to reach their dreams, as well as, help those around you reach theirs.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what works best for them when they have to reignite their passion. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
This week, the boys were fortunate enough to sit down with Elliot’s wife, April (from Episode 78 - The Legacy of Adam) and talk about the most unspoken tenant in the life cycle of the battle with P.T.S.D.; the sojourn of the spouse in this palpable fight of mental illness. You’ll quickly understand the strength and grace that April brings is forged in the rawness of her experience in standing by Adam through his darkest moments. Many times, having a very direct impact on her own mental health.
April does the rest of us a massive favor in being candid about her close proximity with the fallouts of undiagnosed P.T.S.D and exposing the fractures it brought into her home. She navigates this tender topic of the injured spouse with such candor and strength, to hopefully shed light for the rest of us, of what it’s like and what to expect when it’s our turn. The boys agreed that this episode will be one of the most popular in our series, because April leaves everyone a roadmap. A step by step list of faith based axioms and approaches to push through the chaos into higher ground. For her and Adam both, it started with their faith in God.
April’s Recommended Resources & Organizations:
1.“Why is Dadso Mad”, book by Seth Kastle. Helps explain PTSD to kids.
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Giveanhour.org; free counseling/therapy/chiropractic and other care for veterans and their families.
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Mighty Oaks Warrior Program; Faith based retreat for veterans and spouses in California and Ohio, no residency requirements & travel expenses may be covered.
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Boulder Crest Retreat; free family/individual retreat opportunities. Warrior PATH program for PTSD.
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Elizabeth Dole Hidden Heroes; retreats, caregiver resources & support.
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Reboot Combat Recovery; 12 week faith based course for veterans, first responders, and their families.
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Operation Homefront; support for military families.
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Project Sanctuary; free family retreats.
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Semper Fi Fund; financial assistance if qualified.
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Wounded Warrior Project; support, activities, individual & family retreats, help with disability claims.
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Vet Center; counseling, help with claims, other resources.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what works best for them when they have to reignite their passion. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
What a way to start off 2022! In our first episode of the new year, we welcome our special guest, friend and fellow Marine Corp veteran, Adam Elliott to the show.
With many people stating that the new year is an opportunity to become a better version of themselves or to reach their goals, we must first acknowledge our past and revisit our journey to extract the required lessons throughout hardships that assist in guiding us to our future self. Adam takes this opportunity alongside the team to share his journey through his military service as a Marine and post military life as a father and husband.
His courage and openness to discuss the topics around his experiences with PTSD, alcohol and drug addiction, and relationship issues that are shared in this episode is a master class example on how to navigate through hard times. His acknowledgment of the need to maintain a positive legacy within his family reminds him that everything in life, both good and bad, are all part of of the journey.
If you would like to reach out to Adam or share your own similar story, please reach out to us:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Happy New Year!!!
(Already?! -Or- “About time?!”)
In our final show of the year, the team takes the time to discuss, assess, and remember 2021 for what it meant to each of them. From personal triumphs and career changes, to hardship and the effects of what we could not control ultimately brought to who we are as we stand here on the last day of the year.
-What were our 2021 goals?
-Did we reach them? Why or why not?
-What was our significance and who did we affect?
-What are we looking forward to most in 2022?
-Are we ready for what is ahead?
Join us in our final episode of the year as we invite you into the conversation as we share some great stories and some of our favorite memories!
Cheers and Happy New Year to all of you around the world!
If you would like to share some new Years photos, please send them to our FB or IG page and we will post them on January 1! Thank you to all of our supporters and listeners for a wonderful year!
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Merry Christmas everyone! We at NYAO wish you all the best for a season filled with love, caring, gratefulness, and memory making with those who we truly care about and the strangers we encounter along the way.
This week, the team decided to have some adult Christmas fun with the one and only Irish Jolly man, Mark McCarthy AKA “Slainte’ Claus.” Listen in as Slainte’ Claus (after a few frothies) reviews his naughty and nice list and reminds us that he knows if we’ve been bad or good…mostly bad! But hey! We’ll see you next tuesday Slainte’ Claus!
Please feel free to share your holiday messages and thoughts with us as we would like to hear from you all out there!
We hope you all made the nice list!
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
HEREOS MEDIA GROUP
https://www.heroesmediagroup.com/
It’s daunting. It can be intimidating. It can mean the first step of a dream or the first setback along your journey. Either way, job interviews can be labeled many things, but the primary goal should never be to ignore your preparation for them.
Since we like to keep things relevant here at NYAO, Mike, Melon, and Raf decided to breach the topic on how we have prepared for our own job interviews.
Recently, Melon was promoted this previous year and shares some of his suggestions and techniques to prepare, including his STAR method.
Currently, Raf was hired to a major airline after going through extensive processes and in-depth interviews, sharing the importance of interviewing as yourself and not as a position or title.
In the near future, Mike will be interviewing for a coveted childhood dream type position within his community and share some of his own guidance and insights on how to be the right kind of person that leaders with the right characteristics want.
Do you have a story about interviews? Any suggestions for our fellow veterans? We’d love to hear from you and share both the challenges and successful stories that have transpired within our circles.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
HEROES MEDIA GROUP
https://www.heroesmediagroup.com/
This week we are special guests on The Decision Hour Podcast with our friend Mr. Adam Bird to discuss The Importance of Mindset. (TheDecisionHour.com)
We are forced to make Decisions in our lives every day. We are faced with situations that we have no control over, however we can control our reactions to those situations. Before you can do that, you must be in the right mindset. Mindset is a conscious decision that requires a choice: positive or negative.
In this episode, I was lucky enough to sit down with the guys from Not Your Average Operator, a podcast that dives into some of life’s hardest questions, challenges, and situations as they open up their lives and personal experiences and dissect them in a way that can bring out the best version of ourselves, and help leave the negative in the rearview mirror.
After some much-needed banter and some really good laughs, we dive into the topic of mindset.
We discuss the importance of mindset and provide some examples of our own personal experiences regarding positivity, being grateful, asking for help and how to turn a bad situation around.
We had a lot fun recording this episode as you will hear. That said, this is a topic we don’t take lightly, we understand the importance, we have all been there. We hope that you enjoy this episode. Should you find yourself letting your mindset wonder into places it doesn’t need to be, call on us… We are here to help.
Email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Have you ever considered using a technique or framework to solve a critical task a lot more effectively? The boys discussed a famed technique called the OODA Loop invented by a legendary United States Airforce fighter pilot John Boyd. OODA is an acronym for Observe, Orient, Decide, Act! The boys have a quick discussion on how they’ve implemented this process throughout their professions as well as in their personal life. They dissect each step and share the varying methods that they commonly implement. More importantly, the biggest gains in using this process is the ability to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations, increasing your rate of execution, and thriving in total unpredictability.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what works best for them when they have to reignite their passion. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Have you ever had an instance where you know you are fundamentally right, but every one around you is trying to convince you otherwise? They make you question everything in that moment, but you still can reference back to some sort of solid pillars, maybe even a feeling, that can give you justification?
This week, the team address some of their own struggles when it comes to sports, military objectives, and aviation. They supply the context, identify the friction points, and discuss their approaches that ultimately led to their overall successful end states.
Listen in as the team offers up some framework for these situations and also cover the four zones of growth that can assist in the development of a confident person or leader:
-Comfort Zone
-Fear Zone
-Learning Zone
-Growth Zone
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
"Thank you for your Service"
What do you want it to mean?
“I’m appreciative of you being a volunteer and sacrificing yourself for our country”?
What does it possibly mean to a veteran that has:
-Immense stress
-Experienced worst of humanity at a young age
-PTSD
-Struggles with depression
-Grieving
-Survivors guilt
-Lost time/missed life occurrences
-Relationship strains/divorce
-Physiological or physical wounds
-Social reintegration (distances themselves)
-Relatability to society
In Leu of Veterans Day, the team tackles this topic to help bring together civilians and veterans on a more human level. As a society, both should strive to reconnect as common people, instead of civilian vs veteran. Taking the time and getting to know and understand what veterans have been through can have amazing results on the common perceptions about military service and possibly help those veterans who are struggling with post military service.
Challenges:
What can you do different the next time you approach a veteran?
To the best of your ability, attempt to imagine being in their shoes and ask yourself how would you want to be approached?
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
The boys had the immense privilege of hosting Tony Imbarlina Sr. as he decided to do an impromptu join in! This episode centers around practices, life hacks, and theories to try out when you’re having a hard time fueling your passion. Each delves into their personal moments where they’ve struggled, and what they did to help themselves, especially when there’s so much at stake. Melon kicks it off, sharing his inability to find passion towards a sport he's loved his entire life. He analyzes the real consequence when a rugby practitioner is just going through the motions. He quickly points out that the risk of injury is extremely high! That was enough to force him to have an honest discussion with all his teammates. Raf admitted that reigniting passion is a constant battle for him. His “go to” methodology is always to “just do something”. He’s found that simply keeping his dead down and grinding at work generally generates the new motivation he’s been seeking. Mike reflects on some of his toughest moments and realizes that using his closest friends and family as a sounding board is his most effective tool. Tony Sr. openly speaks about using his beautiful wife Louise as an accountability partner who is honest when he’s not being his best and suggests that we all do that. These are just the tip of the iceberg.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to spend some time thinking about what works best for them when they must reignite their passion. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Identity.
How do you think of yourself? How do you introduce yourself? Who are you underneath it all? When elite professionals like military special forces, pilots, athletes move on in life, many face a crisis of identity. The same thing occurs to many retirees and empty nesting parents when their children move out.
If you have committed yourself fully to pursuing a dream or fulfilling a goal, there can be many challenges when that chapter in your life comes to an end.
Certainly, many military and first responders can face a future where they struggle for purpose while dealing with physical, mental and emotional scars from their service.
Your hosts are joined by an Aussie mate, Simon, who has a unique set of insights around the topic of identity and how to reforge it from a position of values and empathy. His insights come as the result of wide life experience and ongoing education. He has faced this question of identity himself and has come on to share what has worked for him.
When the excitement and competitive environment ends, how do you reset and find your datum points? How can finding self-awareness help complement the other skills that have been such a large part of your other successes in life?
How can we continue to grow so that we ensure we are equipped for the next challenge that life has in store for us?
Every step of life is a doorway.
Don’t be held back.
Identity is a construct, make sure you keep evolving to be the best version of yourself.
Please help us achieve our goals of doubling our social media footprint by sharing, leaving a rating or a review. We are committed to making a difference to our audience.
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
“Have you ever noticed the people that drive slower than you are idiots and those who drive faster than you are maniacs?”
- Comedian George Carlin
Is there truth behind this? Do we think we are always in the right and everyone else is in a degree of wrong? Or is it a place we find comfort in to avoid self correction? Is there something there that makes us do this? Does this help formulate how we perceive the rest of the world?
It absolutely does!
This week, Melon and Mike take on this conversation head on while Tio Raf recovers from a “boys night out” after a well deserved professional achievement.
(Wish him a quick recovery at 45!)
In addition, the team shares some reviews from our listeners around the world and puts out some of NYAO Podcast’s goals for the rest of 2021:
-100 ? Ratings on Apple Podcasts
-50 Written reviews on Apple Podcasts
-50% increase of followers on FB and IG
Help us reach our goals! Please take a minute and SHARE our posts, leave a RATING, REVIEW, or send us a message.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
In ancient Greece, famous Goddess Athena was known to take the form of a man to mentor Telemachus, the son of Odysseus, and converse about power, wisdom, and direction to become successful. The focal point of the story displays that in fact there is an uncomfortable barrier between men and women when it comes to mentorship.
This week, the team welcomes our special guest Liz, a female U.S. Army commander and blackhawk pilot, to discuss the importance of men mentoring women, while addressing and creating solutions to the hardest challenges this ultimately brings.
Key Discussion Points:
-Perspectives from both male/female leaders on appropriate/inappropriate interactions.
-Communication barriers
-Professionalism and Culture
-Multiple challenges women face in gendered work environments
- Why men, as a group, are so bad at cross-gender mentoring
-Negative and Positive effects of mixed gender units on the force and family
For further information, we highly suggest the following books by W. Brad Johnson & David G. Smith:
Athena Rising - How and why men should mentor women.
Good Guys- How men can be better allies for women in the workplace.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Have you ever had a point in your life where you felt completely lost? That you are in a position where you don’t know exactly where you are, but know where you want to go? Of course you have!
In global navigation, we can use what is called “dead reckoning“ to find our approximate position. This is when you are in the air, over an ocean, or in a vast body of land that has little to no reference points and you have to rely on a formula of time, speed, distance, and drift. We must also make sure we are using the right “North“, whether it be true, grid, or magnetic. If we apply the wrong one, we can miss our mark or destination by miles.
In life, we have to identify what our own version of “north“ is and trust our formula of values, determination, character traits, vision, and healthy relationships to guide us through the unknown and give us clarity on where we stand on our journey between where we are and where we want to go.
To many, navigation can be a hard and challenging task, but when done correctly, it can provide you with efficient pathways, energy conservation, time efficiency, and satisfaction. Why would we not want to do the same in life?
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Melon, Tony Sr., and Raf come together in the absence of Mike to talk about the third chapter in the Tender Warrior series. Chapter Three covers what Stu Weber labels the Four Pillars of Manhood. The four roles that every man is conscripted to play in his circles of influence. He defines the four pillars as the King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend. It’s a critical chapter that looks at the roles played out by men in society and have helped shape this world. More importantly, this chapter paints, with zero ambiguity, the destruction that falls on the earth when men don’t step up to the roles we’ve been assigned, or as Melon put it, “you allow either of those roles to go unbalanced, like a King without humility”. All agreed that this chapter has been one of the most challenging for several reasons. Mostly in the application and looking at them through an honest introspective lense. It’s not for the faint of heart. The Four Pillars are the fundamental roles that every man plays in his life, whether he acknowledges them or not.
The boys talk about the importance of making an effort regardless of the probability to meet the goals, because they’re that important. Naturally, everyone has a role they play well intrinsically, and there are those that we struggle with, but the common understanding of these four pillars, is that when they’re sought after correctly with a purpose filled life, the world, as we know it, is a better place. More to the point, “We were all born originals, don’t die a copy”. -Tony Sr.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to pick a copy up for yourself and those closest around you. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
The boys had the immense privilege of hosting Tony Imbarlina Sr. as he joined the gang to have a lively discussion on Chapter 2 of Stu Weber’s book, Tender Warrior. They discuss what this chapter invoked in them individually, regarding the Scout role every man of the household has been commissioned to play by the social construct of our society. More importantly, they explored collectively the ways in which the timeless wisdom delivered in this chapter can have an application in our lives. The lessons are many, but some of the key highlights discussed in this chapter are profound if not simplistic and enduring in their nature.
-
The distinction in the word “provision” by Stu Weber.
-
The significance of the symbiotic relationship between the Scout and the wagon train, and how you can’t have one without the other.
-
The measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family.
-
Trust is the ultimate currency, and it’s earned through daily small tasks
-
The importance and grave difference between sight and vision.
-
Who’s been the Scout in your life?
Please share your thoughts about this episode and more importantly, we hope this encourages our listeners to pick a copy up for yourself and those closest around you. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Tony Senior is a rare kind of person. Open to life and willing to share, but without a hint of condescension. Wise and experienced, and yet still curious and full of a desire to hear all about you. This week’s conversation is a very special one. We are joined by Tony Snr- father of our former guest and friend Doctor Tony. Tony Snr has another two children who are also underway in a career in the health services- a nurse practitioner and second year medical student. He also has a successful marriage of over 35 years to his beautiful wife Louise, and also has an active career as a small business owner.
The opportunity to hear from someone who has built an amazingly fulfilling life; someone who has never stopped learning and reading; and someone with a track record in the parts of life that at the end of the day are the most important ones;- opportunities like this don’t come along every day.
Tony Snr moved to America at the age of 18 months from Italy, and built his life from the ground up based on timeless principles and hard work. Tony joins your team to discuss Stu Weber’s famous book “Tender Warrior”, and this episode will form the first part of a series based on questions from its pages.
This warm conversation touches on:
• A succinct definition of leadership as it applies at work, in the family, or in a community.
• Are you delivering on the picture you sold your partner on at the beginning of your relationship?
• Father and Mother as the first superheroes for their children
• What is it all really about? What is it all really for?
• The challenge of establishing an accountability holder who can call you out when you inevitably fall short.
We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did. Please let us know if you have questions you would like to hear Tony Snr answer in our next installment, and consider sharing this out into your community if you feel there is something helpful here.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
It’s been two decades now since the attack on America and the beginning of the Global War on Terrorism. Lots has changed since then, but somethings have not.
Join us for a tough conversation about the harsh reality that was September 11, 2001, but also to hear about the stories from the special day that was September 12, 2001.
You will hear about where Melon, Raf, and Mike were that day and ultimately how it changed their lives and their careers, for it defined a whole generation.
It is important for all of us to understand what 9/11 brought to the western world, what 9/12 made us realize what was possible as a society, and also how it all still affects us today and carries us into the future to combat terrorism.
A new era has just begun as the Afghanistan withdraw has been completed, But we are not done yet. Challenges are on the horizon and we as a nation must be prepared or reap the whirlwind that follows.
Where were you on 9/11? How did it change your life? How has it effected and changed your current life? We’d love to hear and share your stories!
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Failure is an inescapable part of life and a critically important part of any successful life.” -Tal Ben-Shahar
The boys spend a few minutes talking about Afghanistan, the toll of multiple war fronts, and how it has plagued the SOF community. They really came together on this episode to share a few laughs recounting the biggest mistakes that they inevitably became proud of and were able to glean some life lessons.
Raf recants why he was proud after he failed selection for a special mission’s unit. Even more life altering, he shares the story that taught him that we are only in charge of our own personal life and choices. Everyone has their own free agency, and why a sense of ownership over someone else is almost always doomed from the start.
Melon takes us back to the days when he was training for his F/A-18 Hornet course, and getting scrubbed just 2 sorties short of graduation. He would be offered the rare opportunity to restart the course again, but he had the ability, with a grateful heart, to decline, because his center & desires now sat with his family.
Mike shared some lessons learned from a broken heart, but outlined the many ways he has become better because of it. A solidification in his resolve, his eagerness to pursue challenging paths, like school, while being extremely busy in his current career. More importantly, he notes that ultimately, his biggest take away was the realization that he always had the keys and power to choose to be happy, versus the western miguided ideology of “pursuing happiness”.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and let us know what epic failures you’ve had, and why you were proud of it in hindsight. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Have you ever ask yourself the following questions: * Am I successful? * Is what I’m doing significant for others? * Do I have balance between the two? * When will I be enough to be satisfied?
If the answer is yes, then listen as the boys welcome back their favorite psychologist, Dr. Erin and discuss and share examples of personal and team success while also maintaining the importance of aligning a positive significance with those around you.
We realize this can be a continuous and daunting challenge, but with some of the framework and suggestions from Dr. Erin and the NYAO team, we can all conduct an honest assessment on our current paths, identify how we can add or subtract certain layers, and progress into a well balanced state that’s supported by strong healthy values and character traits.
To learn more about yourself and how to identify some of your strengths and areas that need improvement, you can visit the following link and take the character test for free:
Viacharacter.org
Please reach out to us directly to share your story or if you have questions for us or Dr. Erin.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
“For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know”
~ Theodore Roosevelt ~
History. We all know the saying that if we forget it, we are doomed to repeat it.
This episode has a large piece on finding and cherishing amazing, living history. This is an uplifting conversation, full of laughter.
Mike was privileged to participate in a charity event. Operation Once in a Lifetime hosted their annual major trip to Washington DC. As a volunteer supporting the event, Mike was lucky enough to meet some of the heroes who have gone before us. He paid his respects to fallen comrades at Arlington, and heard stories about- and directly from- some of the “Greatest Generation”.
You’ll hear about a Korean War veteran who only told his family that he “played a lot of baseball” while he was deployed to the peninsula during the war. At his funeral they heard a citation that shocked them- heroism that they had never heard of was attributed to their quiet family man.
What is it that we most admire about these people? The quiet professionalism? The focus on resilience and the character ethic?
Let us know what it is that touches you most, what it is that draws your admiration when you think of the people you most respect.
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
In the last few days, the world has bared witness to the disheartening images and videos of the fall of Afghanistan. The Taliban have all but reclaimed the country, along with massive supplies of weapons, vehicles, ammunition, and aircraft, while thousands of NATO troops, innocent civilians, and Afghan allies struggle to evacuate from Kabul Airport.
The questions on everybody’s mind, especially for Afghanistan veteran’s and their families are:
“How and why did it happen this way?”
“Was it all for nothing?”
“Could this have been done differently?”
Listen in as OEF veterans Mike and Raf, along with OIF veteran Melon, discuss and share their thoughts on these recent and ongoing events.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the military members who are currently in harm's way of evacuating international citizens and to all the hopeful and brave Afghan civilians who are attempting to flee the tightening grip of the Taliban Regime.
Everyone is having a rough time with this, feeling strong emotions of sadness and anger. We would love to hear your thoughts and perspectives, but also, we’d like to ask that you reach out to the veterans of this conflict and check in on them. Never forget.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Resiliency is like a muscle, and it needs to be exercised constantly and diligently. Similarly, resilience is composed of two elements. That is, to be resilient is to develop the skill to withstand discomfort. And the second element is an organism’s ability to spring back into its previous shape. The boys felt compelled to circle back and have an open discussion about why resilience is something they practice as often, and as consistently as possible.
The people of the world at large, are in varying degrees of pain and strife. More importantly, the skill of resiliency is one of our most effective tools in withstanding those challenges and bound forward in our personal journey. Exercising resilience is unique in the method that it’s approached by every individual. What may work for you, might not work for someone else.
Raf attested to a multiple day fast to help his mind focus on a laundry list of tasks he needed to complete to put out his best resume and applications for highly coveted aviation careers. Melon is continually observing his surroundings and forcing gratitude for the things he cherishes the most; which is a constant reminder that even in his worst days, there are others who would wish they were in his shoes. Mike continually falls back to some of his darkest and toughest moments in the early stages of his career. Long exhausting and psychologically uncomfortable days that stretched into weeks that taunted him with the option to quit. Yet, he dug in, hunkered down and kept moving forward. Now, looking back, those moments have been a constant source of inspiration when tackling current and new struggles.
Please share your thoughts about this episode and let us know what tools you use to exercise resilience. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
“Never starve your people of food or compliments”
- Colonel Brewster (Tour of Duty TV series)
“Praise from the praiseworthy is high praise indeed.”
- Heath Bartlett
We have all seen or received both highly effective and highly ineffective feedback. What is it about the very impactful feedback that makes a difference?
Raf has just returned from his most recent deployment and is enjoying well-earned family time, so Mike and Melon share their insights in the area of optimizing performance when delivering feedback. We will all have occasions in our personal or professional lives where we need to help others increase their output or execution. It could be at work, a sporting team, or in the family environment.
Main areas covered:
-
Give assurance and confidence
-
Build personal and team pride
-
Develop a sense of accomplishment
-
Praise in public, criticize in private
-
Positive v negative
-
Public v private
-
General v specific
-
Earned v unearned
-
Professional v personal
-
Requirement to include steps for improvement- the “How”
-
Proximity in time
-
Credibility of the assessor
We have appreciated each and every piece of feedback we have received over the past 55 episodes, as we are striving to improve and to provide quality content for you. Please share this widely in your community and feel free to reach out to your team:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
It’s not every day you have the opportunity to meet a best friend from across the globe that you have never met before, but that is exactly what happened this past week.
In this episode, Mike and Melon, sitting side-by-side, discuss their week together and reflect on their adventures and discussions. What they come to realize is that after a year of discussing framework and being open to new perspectives on the podcast, it all began to unfold right in front of them.
Some examples came directly from Annie, Melon’s vision impaired daughter, who challenged herself daily. She braved through some high surf at the beach, literally demonstrated blind faith in Mike throughout a tree top climbing course 25 feet in the air, and then proved that she could still fight in the event of a zombie apocalypse in her first time trying Virtual Reality.
There are also some great stories of meeting Heroes Media Group owner Adam Bird for the first time, meeting fellow veterans Bruce and Sione, teaching some Aussies how to fire weapons to perfection for the first time, and also a humbling visit to Arlington national cemetery where Mike shared some history and introduced Melon and his family to some of his fallen teammates.
As we have said before, life does not always revolve around work, titles, or constantly impressing everyone. We all need friends and moments like these to realize what truly matters in life.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
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APPLE PODCASTS:
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HEREOS MEDIA GROUP
https://www.heroesmediagroup.com/
In part 3 of 3 of this series, the team welcomes back senior trauma nurse instructor Mark McCarthy to cover the crucial points of critical incident learning.
After taking the time to review and dissect critical points in incident debriefing (1/3) while identifying crucial decision points (2/3), it is imperative that we then figure out how to implement what we have learned into our daily processes to minimize failures and maximize fluidity and confidences.
Listen in as the team covers multiple processes and approaches to how you can apply such as: * How to assess a breakdown given people don’t aim to make mistakes * Active and Latent failures- look beyond the immediate situation, in both time and location, to find the underlying causes * High reliability organisations * Focusing also on what was done correctly * Reluctance to simplify- complex problems often need complex solutions * Train and communicate from the top down, but allow autonomy in execution at the coal face * Commitment to resilience- recover from the emergency but then focus on permanent solutions * Refer to expertise- use subject matter experts to support executive decision making
The team are very grateful to Mark for bringing this area into focus. His experience and mastery of these topics have already made a difference to the team and our audience. Please share it widely and let us know how you approach this area. Your insights could help others in our community deal with a breakdown safely.
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
This is episode 2, of a 3 part mini-series on Critical Incidents.
Mark McCarthy, senior trauma nurse instructor, rejoins us for the follow up to #52- Critical Incident Debriefing.
“We see the world not as it is, but as we are…” * Steven R. Covey
During Critical Incidents, decisions are genuinely life or death, so the quality of those decisions, and the ability to find the safe path through is of prime importance. Mark’s medical ER experience again resonates with Mike, Raf and Melon, with their backgrounds in combat, special forces and aviation. The depth of these parallels are some of the most surprising elements of this episode.
The Irishman leads the conversation over the following areas: * Professor Steve Peters mental model- Human/ Chimpanzee/ Computer * How to compartmentalise and deal with your internal state * The Startle Effect- how to recognise and recover in time * MAPA- Management of Aggression & Potential Aggression * How to defuse emotions personally or inside a team member * The importance of training realistically to learn to recognise and control the physiological reactions associated with stress * How to deal with each new situation freshly- uncanny similarities emerge between ER patients in trauma, and Mike clearing a 30 room building in Close Quarter Combat; but the conversation also covers getting home from that situation safely and re-engaging with family.
Thank you for your ongoing support into our second year. Please leave a review, share with your network, or leave a topic you’d like us to explore.
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
The boys are launching their first multi-episode series- which is on the topic of Critical Incidents.
Melon met Irishman Mark McCarthy on a rugby pitch in 2012 but there’s more than just rugby banter in this episode. Mark, a senior trauma nurse instructor in the Middle East, shares his experiences and insights from the ER with Mike, Melon and Raf.
Mark and the NYAO team discuss: * The pressures on health professionals in the ER, decision making during critical incidents and how to effectively debrief these incidents. * What can individuals and teams learn from high pressure incidents? * What issues can be identified using training simulations? * What strategies work when you are helping people on what might be their worst day?
Mark reveals procedures and protocols developed over a life time of high stress, life or death medical scenarios. He talks about the importance of gaining consensus on what happened, and techniques he uses to establish this baseline. Mark covers Dr James Reason’s Swiss Cheese model for analysing and preventing the “organisational accident”- which both Raf and Melon have used extensively in aviation incident investigation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swiss_cheese_model
Mark refers to this Critical Incident Debriefing Tool:
https://debrief2learn.org/pearls-debriefing-tool/
This episode is a lot more than just theoretical, and Mark shares from his own lived experience of having seen a critical incident take a rapid turn for the worse and explains the fundamental lessons he learned that day.
Thank you very much for the kind reviews and suggestions you have sent in. Please let us know if you have an area you would like us to explore.
If you are getting something out of it, please consider sharing our podcast into your network.
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Follow of Social Media: Facebook Instagram
The boys talk and share personal anecdotes on the current state of the withdrawal of coalition forces in Afghanistan, and the impact it’ll have. Mike and Raf both have spent a considerable amount of time, and felt it was a good natural discussion to opine on. The boys then transitioned into a tougher conversation. They shared personal stories of witnessing bullying, being bullied, or being bullies themselves, and more importantly discussed the everlasting impact of experiencing any of those events. They all agreed that the impact and scars left from some of these life altering events are still impacting their lives as adults. Put yourself in their shoes, and think back to a time you played either role? Are those moments still affecting you? Would you have done it any differently? Like everything, there is a human cost, and it’s in this episode that the boys wanted to explore that. Please share and leave us a Thumbs Up and Review!
Email us at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
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Mike and Melon still are not sure what Raf said at the beginning of this episode, but we couldn’t be happier to have him back on the show this week! (We’re pretty sure it was nothing but a nice complimentary introduction in Espanol)
This milestone episode brings an interesting topic to light, a famous quote written by G. Michael Hopf about the rise and fall of society. The team breaks down each line and discusses what they believe it means while addressing the key values and traits that ultimately manipulate this cycle for better or for worse and how we can self-identify with each other in our daily lives.
To finish it off, they each share their own opinions on where they believe our current society falls into this famous poem and the reasons why.
When you read this quote, what comes to your mind? Where do you feel you are in the spectrum? Where do you believe society currently sits? What is your reasoning? We’d love to hear from you and hear your perspectives!
Let us know via email or in a review what your answers are to these questions:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Melon has landed back in Saudi after his trip to Melbourne, and he and Mike catch up. Raf is still deployed and is very busy with his workload, so Mike and Melon carry this episode as a pair.
After catching up, Melon shares his insights after having the privilege of being an audience member for the past two episodes. Listening to those two episodes, Brothers in War, had a major impact on him, and he shares what he got out of listening to Mike and Jeremy discuss their life and shared combat experiences.
The quote that Jeremy shared “It’s not what I did. It’s who did I do this for?”, during that episode then kicks off a deep discussion between Melon and Mike about life and meaning.
All of us have a mission in life, but it can easily be lost in the day to day. We are all contributing to something bigger. It could be we are working to improve ourselves, or working to help family or loved ones, or it could be that we are working for the overall benefit of our community- or even society itself at the highest level.
This episode is a challenge to consider both why you are doing what you do, and who you are doing it for.
Let us know via email or in a review what your answers are to that question.
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Leave us a review on
APPLE PODCASTS:
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In this week’s episode, Melon and Raf continue to make their movements around the world while Mike takes the mic and welcomes back his older brother Jeremy to the show. Two brothers who have both served in combat during the global war on terror, discuss what it was like growing up together entangled with military service and maintaining their relationship as brothers.
This is part 2 of Brothers in War 2 part series, Mike’s brother Jeremy interviews him and asks him some of the tough questions that most brothers would not want to ask. Hard training, warfare, relationships, and some of his future visions post of military career.
From troubled and confusing childhoods, to the disciplined and positive guidance from the uniform, and to the struggles and success that followed, you are about to continue to listen to two men, brothers and veterans, have some real talk about life and selfless service and what it means to them.
We challenge you to sit down with some family members and discuss the hard topics and ask the hard questions. Learn something new about one another!
Contact your hosts by DM on FB/IG or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
After a very emotional week leading up to Memorial day, what better way to follow it than to have some of your own family who’ve served in war join the show?
In this week’s episode, Melon and Raf are off taking care of family and priorities abroad, so Mike takes the mic and welcomes his older brother Jeremy to the show. Two brothers who have both served in combat during the global war on terror, discuss what it was like growing up together entangled with military service and some of the hardships that it ultimately presents.
In part 1 of this 2 part series, Mike interviews Jeremy and asks some of the tough questions that most brothers could not or would not talk about.
From troubled and confusing childhoods, to the disciplined and positive guidance from the uniform, and to the struggles and success that followed, you are about to listen to two men, brothers and veterans, have some real talk about life and what it means to them.
Have you served with your brother, sister, or other family members in the military as well? We’d love to hear your family story of service!
Contact your hosts by DM on FB/IG or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
For some, Memorial Day is a day off of work, a day of barbecues, and a reason to wear fun red white and blue outfits and head to the pool and beaches.
To those who have served or who are serving, their meanings are much different. Some celebrate the lives of the men and women who never came home with them. Some silently visit their friends or family at military cemeteries. There are those who are forced to relive tough and tragic moments and retreat from the light of day or interaction with others. Then of course, some have a mixture of all the above and cannot find the right balance to make it through the day.
Even though Memorial Day has been regarded as a national holiday, it was primarily ordered to be a pause in time to remember, reflect, and appreciate those who have fallen and sacrificed everything they had during wartime.
The team from Not Your Average Operator Podcast respectfully requests that you take the time this weekend with family, friends, and especially veterans, and have open discussions about service, sacrifice, and why we need to show our respect. They can be family stories that should be passed on to the next generation, stories you’ve read from the history books, or maybe one you heard randomly at the grocery store.
Share their stories. Say their names. Never ever forget what they did for you and this country.
If you have a name or a story you would like to share for Memorial Day, please feel free to contact us. We would sincerely love to hear it.
Contact your hosts by DM on FB/IG or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf “Tio” Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
LISTEN IN ON:
SPOTIFY:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6cQyL6nPDxPNFz4p8RN5PQ?si=Pm-chuufQGSYdcflJ5Xq0Q
APPLE PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
Productivity. Advancing towards a goal. Achieving an outcome.
We all need to create desired effects in the world. All of us have areas where we are naturally strong- where our strengths come to the fore and our output is excellent.
This episode is not about these areas.
How do you achieve your best in the other areas? The areas where you have to grind away and the success is anything but effortless?
Join your hosts as they go over tips and processes that they have used to create “flow” states that have resulted in them accomplishing results in areas outside of their natural strong suits.
Mike talks about generating a team environment, where the focus is off himself, and the importance of holding real world combat equivalents in mind to push himself in “routine” training. Raf goes over the importance of exercising his will power daily- forcing himself to complete a challenging small task every day as a way to maintain his mental strength.
Melon covers the importance of resolving outstanding issues in his personal life as a necessary precursor to finding his focus, the need to hold to big picture goal in mind while contemplating the next tough task and the need to tie small rewards to the completion of tasks.
All of us have to work outside our favourite areas and still complete tough tasks.
Let us know how you access your most productive state, and send in any questions for your hosts to answer. They might just become an upcoming episode.
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Take a minute and think about this…Who do you talk to when you are hurting? If you hurt your arm, you go see a doctor. If your emotions are out of sync, you go see a counselor or psychologist. Pretty simple right? Where do you go when your spiritual side is hurting?
This week, the team welcomes their teammates and fellow veterans, Mr Adam Bird and Jimmy “Papa Bear” Boggs, from the “Broken & Blessed” podcast. They join us to have an in depth, honest, and passionate conversation about our relationships with God, Jesus, and our purpose in life. Now reading the notes above may have just persuaded you to look the other way. We understand. We get it. That is why we encourage you to take a listen. This is not your average Podcast. In this episode, you’ll hear about how active duty and veterans have been brought together by God during war, how flirting with death has opened doors due to a higher calling, and how great relationships have been molded for a purpose by design, not by chance.
Do you think your spiritual side is hurting? Do you think the relationships You currently have effect your overall happiness? Do you struggle with identifying your purpose in this life? We would love to hear from you and invite you to this conversation.
Follow us on Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/NotYourAverageOperator/ https://www.instagram.com/notyouraverageoperator/
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden: NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa: NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike: NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
It’s no secret that today, in the age of social media, we are constantly being bombarded by influencers in politics, fashion trends, physical attributes, financial endeavors etc.
This social communication inter-web that has become a part of our everyday lives tells us about the world we live in and how to live in it...or does it? Today’s episode focuses on a topic that might rub some the wrong way, but it is absolutely worth a discussion. The Cost of Success.
How many times have you done a comparison of yourself to someone or something on social media? How many times have you based YOUR definition of happiness, success, self image, love, education, or “being healthy” off of a social media post? Is there always someone better than you no matter how much you accomplish and you still feel like a failure?
The question is, what are you willing to sacrifice to become just like that “perfect celebrity” to the faceless crowd of society? Time? Money? An Oath? Family? Lifelong friends? Humility? Empathy? Humbleness?
How much have you given up already? Where has it gotten you?
Join us now as Mike, Raf, and Melon from “the land down under” weigh in and discuss some of today’s hardest truths about the world of social media and it’s effect on us as both veterans and citizens.
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
APPLE PODCASTS (Leave a review!)
The boys come at you with another absolutely incredible story, and had the immense privilege to have a sit down with The Great Russell “Ruthless” Ruth! A former Staff Sergeant with the storied 1st Ranger Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, and now a newly minted U.S. Army Apache Aviator, he shares his story, and it’s one that needs to be told, and RETOLD. At the surface, this episode is about a harrowing experience that is almost too incredible to believe. Challenging every listener’s preconceived notion of what is possible. However, after peeling back some layers, you quickly realize the framework of this story is a moment in time shaped in mere seconds and millimeters. More importantly, this story pays tribute to Russ and people like Russ that don’t just spectate. They enter the arena, even when the odds are grossly stacked against them, and certain death is nearly assured. Ushering people to safety, then running towards the fray, unarmed. Armed only with self belief, principals, and the calmness and clear thinking that can only be harnessed through years of hard and difficult transformation. Undoubtedly giving credence to his former Special Operations community. He rose to the highest levels of humanity that day. Like a sheepdog, Russ utilized every skill and instinct he’s consciously and subconsciously learned in life...then ran towards an abyss of uncertainty & chaos created by a robber and his sawed off shotgun. Put yourself in his shoes, and ask yourself, would you have followed Russ into the chaos? With humor, banter, and respect, the boys were able to extract implicit details that Russ has never shared before. Like everything, there is a human cost, and it’s in this episode that the boys wanted to explore that. Please share this incredible story, and leave us a Thumbs Up and Review!
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Email us:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
This episode, your hosts are joined by a special guest- the multitalented Dave “MacDaddy” McGregor. The MacDaddy has what might be a unique combination of skills- a professional jazz trumpet player, F/A-18 Hornet pilot, flying instructor and Joint Tactical Air Controller (JTAC). His story highlights that none of us really know what our capabilities are, or how our story will unfold until we apply ourselves fully.
You will hear a story about a boy in Perth, Western Australia getting a trumpet in grade 5, which launched a lifelong love of music, including scholarships through high school and university. This musical passion led to a professional career of ten years, performing in Australia and the US. In the background, MacDaddy had never forgotten a childhood desire to fly fast jets for the Australian Air Force, and a setback in his 20s lit the fire to follow his second dream.
Of course, nothing worth achieving comes easily, and Dave describes some of what he had to do to overcome challenges and then be accepted into the pilot training program at the age of 27 ½.
During the episode, you will also hear stories from combat operations in Afghanistan, where Mac served as the fighter pilot specialist JTAC with the Australian Special Forces.
The main thread of Mac’s story is that adaptation and work is needed for all of us in life, and that no pathway is ever laid out for anyone. With a clear goal and the right attitude, we can all carve our own way.
Please let us know what questions or areas you would like explored in future episodes in the review section.
Follow us on Social Media: Facebook & Instagram
Contact your hosts:
Rafael “Tio” Espinosa
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Dave “MacDaddy” McGregor
macandliz@gmail.com
The boys had the immense privilege to have a sit down with the great Matthew Hopper. This is a name that most people will never know, but in the shadows of the Army’s Special Operations Aviation Regiment and a very tight inner circle, this name is a currency in competence and authenticity. That’s to say, Matt is the guy you turn to when the objective looks bleak, and it’s an absolute no fail mission. Starting his storied Army career as a Cavalry Scout in 1995, he served in various enlisted leadership positions, before being selected for the Army’s Warrant Officer Flight Training program. One of his last assignments as a Scout was with the, then, avant garde Stryker Brigade out of Ft Lewis, Washington where he helped establish the Army’s first Reconnaissance, Surveillance, and Target Acquisition (RSTA) Squadron.
His flying career was just as preeminent. Growing up in the Medevac world out of Ft. Irwin, CA, Matt soon found himself augmenting and sharpening his skills as an assault pilot in South Korea. This would soon pay dividends when he completed assessment & selection for the shadowy Night Stalkers, or more commonly known as Task Force 160, becoming a household name after the film adaptation of Mark Bowden’s popular book Black Hawk Down. It was here that Matt finished his last 7 years of Honorable service to the Greatest Nation.
However, trail blazers like him hardly take the easy road anywhere. Shortly after stepping out of the Army uniform, Matthew Hopper dove head first into the commercial aviation world. After ebbing and flowing, he landed his dream legacy airline where he currently resides. More notably for those lucky enough to know him, and call him a close friend & confidant, he’s paved yet another route into a world that most “rotor heads” have historically considered extremely challenging to break into; if not impossible (which deserves its own episode!!). If nothing else is gleaned from this episode, I think every listener will agree, at a minimum, is that people like Matt Hopper should be treasured. This is a man who has continually, and consistently put everyone else before him. From his young Scout days as a motivated junior enlisted leader, to instructor pilot, and now as an ambassador for the most eminent legacy airline, Matt’s principles have remained steadfast. Always forward. Always upward. And at the core of that is his unwavering loyalty to his friends, family, and those he serves.
Please share your thoughts about this episode. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Follow us on Facebook notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
This week, the team returns with our Q&A session to answer some more listener questions that we have been receiving. Mike and Melon cover down again this week while Raf takes some personal time to do some recovering (He sang too much Whitney Houston at Karaoke and lost his voice)
Some of this week’s questions:
-
Besides world domination, what were your reasons for starting this podcast?
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How do you make time for everything and everyone that is important to you?
-
What are the primary components of a happy life?
And more!
We continue to thoroughly enjoy the comments, emails, and feedback from all of you out there listening. The dialogue that has been taking place can be summarized as being simply amazing.
If you would like to leave us a comment, ask more questions, or leave us a review, please leave us a comment On Facebook, Instagram, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or on all Heroes Media Group!
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Please leave us a review!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
The boys had the immense privilege to have a sit down with Dr. Erin Donnelly. She is a Licensed Psychologist and Reproductive Sexologist who is currently in private practice. She grew up in Kansas City before attending Saint Louis University in St. Louis. During her time in undergrad, she also cheered professionally for the St. Louis Rams of the National Football League. Erin had the honor of visiting troops stationed at bases in Afghanistan, Qatar, South Korea, Japan, and throughout the United States. She competed in the NFL Network's NFL Cheerleader Playoffs and was selected as the team representative to the 2007 ProBowl.
After graduating SLU with degrees in Psychology, Biology and French, Erin moved to Philadelphia and attended Widener University Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology, where she earned her master's and doctorate in Clinical Psychology, as well as an additional master's degree in Human Sexuality at the Center for Human Sexuality Studies. She completed her postdoctoral fellowship in the Department of OB/Gyn at the University of Kansas Medical Center before opening her private practice in 2015. Erin is the former Director of Training at the University of Pittsburgh Counseling Center, where she ran an APA-accredited doctoral internship, postdoctoral fellowship rotation and practicum curricula.
She continues to serve the American Psychological Association as a Site Visitor. Clinically, she focuses on assessment and treatment of adults, with specializations in couples and relational work, trauma-informed care, sexuality and reproduction. Erin is credentialed by the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards to practice telepsychology in several states under the newly-established Psychology Interjurisdictional Compact (PsyPact).
Erin believes that her purpose is to help people foster safety, heal, enhance their relationships, and breathe more easily day-to-day in order to find the greatest sense of holistic balance, meaning, and fulfillment in their lives. You’ll agree that Erin is more than an accomplished guest. She is the definition of a force multiplier through her advocacy work, as well as, her approach to life. Please share your thoughts about this episode and we encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us and Dr. Donnelly with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
Dr. Erin Donnelly’s recommended resources:
https://roadmaptoresilienc.wordpress.com https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org https://psychologytoday.com
httsp://inclusivetherapists.com
https://headspace.com(Headspace App)
Breathe2Relax App
Mindfulness Coach App
________________________________________
You can reach Dr. Erin Donnelly at:
DrErinDS@gmail.com or drerind.clientsecure.me
________________________________________
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Every day, the average person has approximately 2500 interactions in person, emails, on the phone, or on social media. In each of these interactions, there are specific times in which we can make vital choices to have either positive or negative impacts, influences, or responses .
It’s in these times that we need to take that pause and listen to that internal conversation taking place inside ourselves and match up the proper response with the proper reflection of who we truly want to be in those moments.
In this week’s episode, we welcome back our best mate Raf after yet another overseas tenure, and discuss the ripple effect that NYAO Podcast has had on not only the three of us, but those in our own circles as well.
Join us as we share some of our positive stories from real listeners, and how the positive framework that we aim to extract in every interaction, has taken a positive effect on life.
How has this podcast influenced you? Has it given you some type of framework to work from? Has it made conversations in your circle better? We’d love to hear your feedback!
Please leave us a comment and rating on apple podcasts under reviews, on Facebook, or Instagram!
Follow us on : Facebook and Instagram
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
We are the two best friends that anyone could have! That’s right, this week you are getting the tag team of Mike & Melon! Our good mate Raf is currently in transit back home to the USA from overseas and we wish him Godspeed.
We always like to take the time to respond to our listeners and their questions and try to make a solid attempt to bring them to light and have great open and honest conversations. We appreciate them!
Some of this weeks questions: * What is something that people misperceive about you?
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What is the one thing that you are afraid of in this coming week?
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What’s something you’ve realized has changed in the last 12 months?
And more!
After a tough month of some heavier topics in episodes 33- 35, we figured we would light it up with some exceptional banter and share some stories as well. Thank you for the questions and we hope that you enjoy!
If you would like to leave us a comment, ask more questions, or welcome Raf back home ??, please leave us a comment On Facebook, Instagram, Spotify, Apple podcasts, or on all Heroes Media Group!
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Links:
APPLE PODCASTS
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-operator/id1522297477
The boys were honored once again to have COL (Ret) Kelly Hines as a guest. In this episode, they were able to extrapolate tangible result based tenets that Kelly drew on in his near 30 year odyssey in service of Our Great Country. Taking him from a young enlisted soldier in the infantry, to leading some of the most prodigious Special Operations pilots in the U.S arsenal, who’s exploits mostly remain classified. The famed Task Force 160th. Fortune struck Task Force Diamondhead and Raf when, as a seasoned and formidable leader, he took command of the unit in preparation for their 2012 deployment. Kelly was instrumental in preparing, mentoring, and leading a conventional force of over 500 hundred men and women into the pernicious lands of Afghanistan. Tenets that served him, and especially the troops he led on and off the battlefield. These are just some of the takeaways the boys were able to discuss with COL (Ret.) Hines. * Leadership is an art, not a science. And it starts with reading and knowing the people you’re around. * Get their buy in, to want to do it, as much as you do. * Manage risk by accepting it, but only when the end state is worth it. Ultimately, that’s something you’ll have to live with if you were to lose any of your people. This is especially true in combat. * Appreciate the team for how special they are. Don’t ever hold grudges. As a leader, consider them family even if you have to discipline them. * Internally assess the people that work with you. Kelly invested the time to look at all his soldier’s personnel files before he met them. * You build them up doing the basics, and scale to complex contingencies until everyone is exhausted. Then you celebrate equally hard on your successes. * Train your people to step up and take leadership roles to be prepared when it's void of leadership. This is especially critical for any group that can find themselves in a hostile environment. * It’s great to identify your star players, but just as important to get your B team the experience necessary to rise to be star players. In other words, invest in EVERYONE. * Focus on realistic demands, even if it means you’re breaking away from the status quo. Allow the space to have failure. If you don’t let people fail, they’ll never learn. * The culture starts with the leader. You can’t expect something you’re not living personally. If you want a family environment, then you need to invest that time and energy to know your people like family. ////
The boys all agreed that encountering a combatant commander like Kelly truly is scarce, and even more rare to have the opportunity to listen to his own personal anecdotal stories. We think you’ll agree that trailblazers like COL (Ret.) Kelly Hines is a living institution for those following in their footsteps. This short interview only gave us a small footprint of his exploits, however, it unearthed a treasure trove of tools that every listener could implement in our own leadership roles. Timeless tenets that proved powerful in some of the world’s most hostile corners of the world, can have impactful positive results here at home. Please share your thoughts about this episode and we encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us with your own stories. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
This week, we welcome back with empathy, our honored guest, U.S. Marine Casey Ingraham. Casey recently contacted the crew about another pandemic that is still sweeping through the military and veteran ranks…suicide. Sean, a great friend of Casey’s and Marine as well, has very recently taken his own life. It is an insurmountable time of sadness, anger, and vulnerability. Casey has chosen to come on and share this with the world and join the search for reason, understanding, and just to let some things out in a healthy manner that may just help some others who are struggling.
The team wanted to approach this topic with great care and consideration, but we also know how important it is to have the tough discussion about some of the reasons this happens. The three of us have all experienced the tragic loss of friends and teammates throughout our military service, and it is no different than anyone else when you just want to ask “Why?”, “What could I have done differently?” or “Why didn’t they just call me?”
Melon, Raf, and I would just like encourage healthy discussion about this powerful topic. It is a faceless animal that even the most prepared have a tough time dealing with. We have reached out to some psychological professionals and gathered some resources to share with everyone out there.
If you are or know someone that is having thoughts of self-harm, please make that phone call, visit with your family or friends, or reach out to your teammates and ask for help. Call in for that “fire support” and win this battle!
United States:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists https://activeheroes.org/get-help/ https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Australia:
Australian Anxiety and Depression Help:
https://beyondblue.org.au/
Australian Military Crisis Support:
https://mates4mates.org/crisis-support
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
This is one of the most powerful episodes I’ve ever sat in, or listened to. "For Those That Have Gone Before Us".
We were privileged to have Melanie House with us today to listen to her story. An intrepid Gold Star Widow who was put in front of the impossible. Alone, with their 4 week old son, was notified with a knock on her door that John had died in a helicopter crash that claimed 31 American Heroes. A story filled with palpable pain, sorrow, overwhelming loss, but also love & triumph.
In her eloquent storytelling abilities, she intertwines the story of John D. House. A hero to those that understood what he bestowed on the altar of freedom, in a place considered one of the most dark places void of any light and hope in 2004-2005. Tragedy after tragedy, she lays out the real cost of war. The human toll that spouses and loved ones endure when our best sons and daughters pay the ultimate sacrifice.
Melanie shares the anguish she felt pierced by her darkest moments. She also gives us invaluable lessons of perseverance and hope. Her story is powerful, and in her own words, an episode in her life she didn’t choose or asked for. Nonetheless, she did the best she could, to put her life back together. If not for her, at least for their beautiful son James. Her story is a story that you’re going to want to listen to, and share repeatedly, because she lays out the clues and foundation for all of us to follow when we find ourselves in our own hell. Melanie shows us all that there is absolute love and healing on the other side.
This story is another stitch in the rich fabric that makes up humanity. Thank you for listening to this episode, and, as the tattoo on John’s chest read, thank you “For Those That Have Gone Before Us.”? If you’d like to donate to the amazing charities that supported Melanie and James in their most critical moment, or just help spread the word, please go to the following:
https://www.garysinisefoundation.org https://www.taps.org https://www.camphometownheroes.org
We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day. Feel free to reach out to any of us, or if you’d like to reach out to Melanie as well.
Contact your hosts at: mels197@aol.com notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
This week, Raf went through some of the great questions we have received from you, our listeners, and dropped these two bombs on the team to prompt conversation:
- Have you ever witnessed a miracle?
- What is the most uplifting thing you have seen recently?
This led to a fairly significant conversation, only broken by poor attempts at humour from your least favorite operator, Mike…
Raf recounted the story of his baby brother’s survival when he contracted meningitis at 6 months of age. He shares memories of his mother staying at the hospital for the entire journey, remaining by his brother’s side through his life and death struggle. Raf also shares a story of a combat helicopter mission where he extracted troops under fire, but in the process needed more power than the engine could provide. He still does not understand how or why his helicopter continued to fly on that day.
This led Melon to recount the story of his daughter Annie’s birth. His wife Cherie’s waters broke during the 22ndweek of her pregnancy with their daughter Annie. Somehow Cherie managed to overcome multiple infections and her body’s natural tendency to progress into full labour for 7 days, and made it to the start of the survival window for premature birth. On the first day of the 23rdweek, a 570 gram / 1 lb baby was born, but the neonatal unit was not ready…
Mike shared the story of his close friend John Grant, a Navy SEAL who survived a brain damaging SUV rollover with the love of his wife and strength of character. If you need a boost, see some of their videos online. https://www.instagram.com/laurabpilates/?hl=en
The uplifting experiences of a Special Forces operator dealing with equipment failure, a vision impaired teenager rocking out, the example of charitable work, and practical advice on how to deal with the fear of flying round out the episode.
Raf refers to the charity: https://fightfortheforgotten.org/
707 aerobatic manoeuvre: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra_khhzuFlE
If you are getting something positive from these conversations, please leave us a review.
Send in any questions to your hosts:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Another week, another guest! The team welcomes one of Mike’s lifelong friends, Dr. “Tony”.
In this episode, Tony, and the team breach what some may call a tough topic to talk about…meeting in the middle on mental and physical health between medical professionals and patients.
Whether you are a doctor or a nurse that is administering medicine or facilitating care, or if you are the patient or veteran that is on the receiving end of professional care, there is a common goal. To live the best life that we can.
Tony and the team help break down some of the more common barriers that take place in this kind of environment and identify how both sides can meet in the middle to find a way to achieve a better reality and outcome.
We have all been exposed to these kinds of challenges in one way or another, whether it be with friends or ourselves. What are some of the stories you have or would like to share that maybe inspired you or unfortunately broke your trust with medical professionals? How do you think it could have turned out differently? We would love to hear from you!
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Email your hosts:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
Notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotyouraverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotyouraverageMike77@gmail.com
This week, the team welcomes our honored guest and friend, United States Army combat veteran, “Kenny G”
Kenny is from the great state of Texas and currently resides there with his beautiful fiancé’ and his kiss stealing handsome son. He served in the United States Army as an 11- Charlie, which is a Mortarman in the infantry from 2004-2013. He deployed 3 times to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. On his 3rddeployment, he was wounded 3 times due to enemy fire and received the purple heart for his actions.
In this episode, you will hear his story of selfless service, physical and mental hardship, amazing examples of his humility and determination, and ultimately his love for life, and how he has not just overcome DISABILITIES, but how he has used his ABILITIES to continue to succeed as man, a father, a fiancé, and as a teammate.
Please let us know how this episode has inspired you, gave some perspective, or just want to leave a message for Kenny. Being there for one another in both good and bad times is what the brotherhood and sisterhood of the military is all about, and this man is the living example of exactly that!
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
The boys gather around the campfire to talk about professionalism, and what it means to them. They dissect the traits and habits of those around them that truly embody the epitome of the ultimate professional. Mike gives a searing anecdotal story wherein he witnessed a legend in his community impart pearls of wisdom by standing up when he was most vulnerable, and shifting an entire community’s mindset on redefining failure. Similarly, he emphasizes the importance of owning your mistakes, especially amongst your peers, and focusing on the “Why” of your efforts. Raf promotes gratitude as a way to turn problems into opportunity. He also emphasizes the importance of setting a foundation based on humility, ethics, and honesty, because he believes these tenets will afford you the most support from your teams when you’ve made errors. Melon elaborates on Alastair Cook’s philosophy of a professional being that person who can do their best work when they don’t feel like it. Furthermore, Melon talks about the importance of creating a ritual after a massive effort in preparation, like putting on a uniform, as a sort of metamorphose into that state to achieve what you’ve set out to achieve.
Please share your thoughts on the tools that have assisted you in achieving your highest levels of professionalism. We encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
You’ve got questions? We have answers!
This week, the team is back at answering some insightful questions from our listeners out there in podcast land. No filter, no sugar coating, and all genuine responses.
Some of those questions you’ll hear are:
-Have you found it difficult to communicate to family friends spouse etc. about certain experiences you’ve had while training or deployed? And why?
-What were your perceptions of being in the military before enlisting VS how things really are?
-How do you prepare yourself for retirement or exiting the military altogether? How do you maintain the camaraderie, brotherhood, the sense of purpose?....And more!
We love hearing your feedback, questions, and most of all, your stories! Please send us yours by email, in the comment section, or via private message. As Raf proudly states, we all stand in ranks. Nobody gets a pass in life. The team accepts this and wants to help lead by example and open up about some of the harder topics that all veterans and civilians can relate to.
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Many of us can remember key conversations with influential people around career choices. During this episode, your team go over advice they would give someone looking to enter their profession. This is a great opportunity to hear some key pieces of advice from individuals who have enjoyed some measure of success in very demanding occupations. The information in this episode is likely to resonate widely. In addition to some specific details that will help people looking into these specific pathways, as is often the case, many areas of overlap arise that will be applicable to people from all walks of life.
Your team was lucky enough to be re-joined by Casey Ingraham (Instagram: casey_nw), former enlisted Marine who has transitioned into multimillion dollar construction manager. He put down the tools and gave up some precious family time to make a contribution to our community again.
You will hear key insights into how to pursue and then succeed in elite military aviation- air force and army- plus civilian flying; together with gaining entry into and then thriving in the heart of the exclusive Special Forces. When these insights are coupled with success at the absolute top of the specialist construction field, this is a fully packed episode that you don’t want to miss.
Let us know your thoughts, and please feel free to share this widely, as we would love to help people at any stage of their career path take it to the next level.
If you are wanting direct feedback from your team of elite performers, don’t hesitate to reach out to us via email or on the socials.
https://www.facebook.com/NotYourAverageOperator/
https://www.instagram.com/notyouraverageoperator/
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com casey_nw Instagram
The boys talk about the upside and downside that comes with a new year, and new goals. Many associate the new year with the window of big opportunity, but for too many, it’s the beginning of a fleeting goal that’s short lived. Mike speaks about how at the crux of it all, the best practice is to make any specific day unimportant. Simply, treat every day as a battle, and focus on conquering those goals now, not some special day in the future. Raf reveals that before he looks into the future, he analyzes the past.
He believes you should too. This forces you to dig up the foundation of why you failed to achieve the things that eluded you. Exercise real gratitude when you draw your goals up. Melon emphasizes the importance to make goals attainable, and if possible, structured. This helps keep your momentum going and keeps stoking the fire. Mike encourages everyone with the importance of being comfortable with being uncomfortable.
This mantra is a currency in his profession and has served them well. Raf discusses how he framed his goals for 2021 based off of what he lost in 2020. During that moment of clarity, he highlights the loss of the biggest commodity, that we have the least of, time. Finally, Melon falls back on sage advice partitioned by the great Stephen Covey. He categorizes his life as prescribed in, “To live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy.” Melon similarly brings up the value in making all his future goals principal based, versus outcome based. This, and allowing yourself flexibility gives you space to maneuver and not get anchored to a belief or goal that can quickly become archaic in the face of new information.
Please share your thoughts, and we encourage all of our listeners to reach out to us. We love reading your insights, feedback, and how we can add more value to your day.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
- Well it has finally come. The end of 2020.
We know it has been a huge challenge for all of you. There have been trials, and in some cases we have found silver linings- either in the situation itself, or in the way we have developed and grown to deal with the tests we have been given.
As it’s New Year’s Eve, the guys relax the language a little, so please consider young ears- even though we don’t let Melon go full Aussie on you!
Come and join your team as they get together again from three different corners of the world- Saudi, Dubai and Pennsylvania. Take a load off and hear a few laughs, a few sad reminiscences, and some fairly heavy banter at each other’s expense. You’ll hear how they dealt with their hard times, and find some areas where they are thriving.
We started this project right back at the start of the Coronavirus period, and other than a break for Christmas, we haven’t let a week go by without an episode. We genuinely appreciate all of your support and will continue to make this undertaking happen as long as we feel that we are offering you all something positive. We do this in and around our commitments to family, work and community as a way to make some small contribution in thanks for all that we are grateful for.
All the best to you and yours for 2021. We are all in this together. Reach out if you need a hand.
We would like to thank our hosts at Heroes Media Group- Adam Bird has been an amazing support for us behind the scenes: www.heroesmediagroup.com
Patrick Sowers is also working hard behind the scenes with the Not Your Average Operator web page and Facebook group, and runs several charity projects including his military charity: - Operation Once in a Lifetime: https://operationonceinalifetime.com/
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The question that your team address this week is a difficult one requiring some genuine introspection.
How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?
Recognizing that we contribute to generating our own negative situation is humbling. Owning those areas and getting behind them in some ways to find our underlying drivers is a task that we often shy away from. In this tough, but also humorous and ultimately uplifting conversation, your team cover the following areas: * Resignation, leading to a negative physiological state and a mediocre path * Choosing between discipline or disappointment * The difficulty that can still be found even when you know exactly what you should be doing * Illusions of effectiveness that can result from being overly busy and overcommitted * The importance of clarifying your thoughts through conversation or journaling * How to say no with an open heart in a healthy way * Identify the task, organize a process, plan and take action * Asking for help
Send in questions you would like the team to address, and share with us and your circle what you are dealing with in this area. If you are willing to, let us know how you have dealt with these challenges yourself and pay it forwards.
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The boys were honored, beyond measure, to have Casey Ingraham on the show. Casey, a loving father of 3 amazing boys, doting husband, Prior Enlisted Marine with an intrepid spirit, a talented custom home builder, and budding entrepreneur, led a tough conversation that many combat veterans have had behind closed doors. We sat back and sojourned through Casey’s journey that started with an unexpected non-combat injury, separating him from his unit down range. Something that initially seemed simple, and almost a godsend, plucking him out of the badlands of the Helmend, became the precipitous event which cascaded down a dark battle with PTSD. Casey daringly brings to bare how this undercurrent of battling PTSD steered him towards drinking, addictions to pills, and other self-destructive behavior. Fortunately, for Casey, and his family, this story is a story that celebrates the human spirit. More importantly, it’s a story of strength, the belief in the best version of yourself, and tenacity to not give in to our darkest impulses.
Please share your thoughts, and if necessary, feel free to reach out to us if you can relate to any of Casey’s story. It’s important for all of our listeners to understand that none of us are alone in our battles.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
The boys take the time and muster some courage to disclose their own past and present bad habits. We all have them, and we struggle to curb them. Unfortunately, some take a lifetime to conquer, while still others take years. More importantly, what makes bad habits so unwanted, is their nature in its destructiveness and their ability to take you away from reality. Especially, when it’s continually repeated. Collectively, they discuss the struggles with excessive drinking and the culture that enables it within the ranks. They discuss the destructive and addictive nature that generally comes with watching pornography. Just as insidious, they talk about the social dilemma brought on by smart phones and their addictive traits which rob you of our precious time and productivity. They discuss all these topics and more. More importantly, they discuss tricks and tools they’ve used to combat and defeat these bad habits.
Please share with us what your bad habits have been and what you’ve used to defeat them.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Have you ever known anyone that you admired or wanted to be like that strived for something great and never gave up, only to reach their goal and turn into completely different people? Someone you never thought they’d become?
This week, the team discusses a topic that can cause some to proceed with healthy caution, or painful reflection for others.
We all have goals and dreams of becoming something thats very important to us. Whether it may be a championship, a leadership role, a title, a rank, or a specific job, we should never lose sight of of a few things:
-Why we started the journey to even get to that point.
-Who we were before we arrived at that moment.
-What did we have to go through to earn it?
-Who was there to help you on your way?
-What is expected of you now?
-Who around you is watching?
Do you have a personal story of this happening in your line of work, circle of friends, or family? Is there something you’ve learned from being around these people? We’d like to hear from you!
Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
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We never know what the future holds. It can be intimidating and scary. It has a constant influence on our everyday life and how we go about living it. So how do we go about dealing with the one of the worst possibilities....loss of a loved one?
This week, Mike returns to the show after a challenging week away at home and shares his experience of losing his grandmother and how the negatives ultimately turned into positives. Mike and Melon discuss the process and how you can go about utilizing past experience to ultimately influence the future.
Additionally, November 11th is Veteran’s Day (US) and Remembrance Day (AUS). Mike and Melon open up about what it means to them personally. Mike shares some reflections on what it means to serve and how to show appreciation to veterans. Melon describes his past two weeks on participating in a ceremony that he was blessed to be a part of to honor allied troops.
We always fear the loss, but we must realize the true power of remembrance.
We are also taking listener questions- so if there is a personal or funny question you’d like the guys to answer, send them in.
The team are also planning an upcoming Facebook Live session so stay tuned.
The reading Mike referred to left to him by his Grandmother is from Rev Kenneth Semon:
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To “let go” is not to cut myself off; it is a realisation I can’t control another. To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive. To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies. To “let go” is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality. To “let go” is not to criticise and regulate anybody, but to try and become what I dream I can be. To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To “let go” is to fear less and love more.
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Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Melon & Raf come together to volley a series of unrelated questions back and forth. They dive into the importance of tapping into positive masculinity during the most challenging moments. The boys discuss their common denominator during their most productive days. They dispel myths about multitasking. They discuss the last thing that brought tears to their eyes. They talk about the somber reverence that they feel when celebrating Remembrance Day. They discuss their favorite history teachers. They divulge their biggest fear. They open up about some of their most ambitious goals and the structure of the legacy they’re working to leave behind. These are just a few questions the boys discuss. Give us a listen, and send us questions you might want us to discuss!
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Everyone should have a 5 year plan with tangible results that can be achieved as the framework for improving yourself. Every individual has a unique perspective on what they deem as success, so we encourage you to taper it specifically to yourself, and nobody else.
Raf is working towards building a coffee roasting company in 5 years time out of his barn! His worldly travels have afforded him the opportunity to taste and leave with the unique flavors of the coffees of the world. More importantly, he seeks to continually enhance his emotional IQ to be more effective in his profession, to his family, and friends.
Melon, embodying Stephen Covey, focusing his 5 year goals on living, learning, loving, and leaving a legacy. Living espouses his goals to get stronger, as well as, transition from flying to consulting with his MBA at near completion. Leaving his legacy for his family and friends is a constant organic plan that he revisits daily. Finally, Mike highlights an important alternative to setting your 5 year goals. Simply put, ask others how they see you, and where they see you in 5 years? You might not like the answer, but the benefits to this approach are boundless. Please share with us your 5 year plan.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
We heard you! Every week, we seek to hear from our listeners and what you would like to hear from us. This week’s topic is a direct response to your feedback! Managing Separation and Reunion.
Work trips, COVID-19, long distance relationships, and deployments. How do we prepare ourselves for these sometimes arduous periods away from those we care for and love? How do we adjust while away? Ultimately, how do we resort back to our normal lives when we return home?
Join us this week as the team shares some individual experiences that have tested their staying power, faith, love, and at times, their humanity.
Mike reaches back in time to 2012 and shares his emotions, excitement, and struggles from his first combat deployment. What he felt prior to deploying, during operations, and how he felt after returning home stateside, adjusting to normal society.
Melon is joined by his wife Cheri as they discuss some of their own expectations and emotions during their recent 5.5-month separation from COVID and a past Iraq deployment.
Raf talks through his current state of being overseas for his new job and how he is managing his relationship with his wife and son. He also joins in with Mike on how their same combat deployment together affected them differently.
Have you had to deal with a long separation? Did you have a rough time reintegrating when you returned? Please share your story in the comments and share your story!
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Contact your hosts on FB or by email:
Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Culture is the characteristics and knowledge of a particular group of people, encompassing everyday practices and norms, communication, rituals, acceptable standards, and common goals or achievements.
Do we join something to win or lose? It’s as simple as that. Once that decision is made, what are the standing pillars that support that culture? How can we align our team and ourselves along that common journey to ultimately succeed or fail?
Join in as the team welcomes our special guest and fellow hunter; Samir Suleiman from the Carolina Panthers NFL football team, as they share and discuss some of their own traits from their own elite communities of aviation, special operations, and the professional sports world.
What kind of culture do you currently work or live in? Does the vision and goals align with yours? How can you shift the culture of an organization to generate success? Please comment and share some of your own examples of both successful and failing cultures that you’ve experienced in business, military service, sporting teams, educational establishments, or your personal life.
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Paul “Melon” McFadden
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Raf Espinosa
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Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
What’s the tasking? Where do you start? What needs to happen? Who needs to be involved? What happens if things don’t go as planned? These are just a few of the questions that may race through your mind when a mission, an operation, or a job is assigned. What is it like to plan and execute a mission as a military operator or a pilot? How do you have transparency through every level of the unit, company, or team?
Listen in this week as Raf, Melon, and Mike share some of the basics with their own experiences in real world mission planning to breakdown some positive frameworks that you can possibly employ in your business career, sporting team, or own military unit.
Some of the wave tops covered: * What is the intent/end state? * Timelines * Blue Force Picture (Who is involved?) * Capabilities * Courses of Action * Phases of execution * Contingencies * Transparency
Have you done your own “mission planning” or have another unique system that has worked well for you or your business or team? Please reach out and share some of your own keys to planning and execution.
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Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
The global pandemic and governmental policies have imposed untold restrictions and hardships on nearly everyone. On the worst end of the spectrum, loved ones have passed and individuals have lost jobs. On the better end, you might have found yourself isolated from the things you love and perhaps used to fundamentally define your existence. In this episode, the guys discuss their own individual journey, their personal triumphs and tribulations. Raf battled bouts of loneliness while quarantined in a hotel for 30 days away from his family, before heading overseas leaving his family behind in uncertainty. Melon was separated from his family for over 5 months without an indication of an end date. Finally, Mike, an active duty SOF operator, found himself navigating between city, state, federal, and military restrictions that ultimately left him with very little room to maneuver. Collectively, the guys shared the tools they discovered to be the most useful. The following are just a few of those: * Happiness is a choice that needs to be reaffirmed daily * Redefine your boundary and what you can do in your box of possibilities * You don’t have to be physically present to cultivate deep emotional relationships * Create/Join a tribe that keeps focused on the positive externalities of life * Optimize new technologies to continue to build relationships * Focus on the basics (health, physical fitness, security, relationships) * Accept and choose to thrive in change.
No matter how confined, or beat down you feel, at the end of the day, you need to heed the words immortalized by Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, Rage...against the dying of the light.”
Please share with us what your struggles, lessons, and tactics were to overcome the chaos brought from this pandemic.
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Raf Espinosa
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Paul “Melon” McFadden
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
Mike
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Which books have given you the most lasting positive take-aways?
The only thing you absolutely have to know is the location of the library. * Albert Einstein
To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark. * Victor Hugo
Success leaves clues. * Tony Robbins
We have access to the greatest thinkers in history. We can consult with them at any time- it has never been easier than in this modern era. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own, there is nearly always someone who has gone down the path you are currently on and has written down some gold and left signposts on a pathway to success.
Join Raf, Mike and Melon as they break out the books that have had the most lasting impact on them over time. The boys have all done quite a bit of reading: both during this time of COVID, and also while on deployments in far-away countries.
Mike’s book is “Quiet Strength” by NFL Hall of Fame player and Coach Tony Dungy. * Transitioning from sponge to teacher. * Buy in from the team to the mission is essential * Know it will all end. Will you finish Distraught, Content or Satisfied?
Melon’s books were by self-development thought leader and educator Steven R. Covey- “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and “The 8thHabit”. * Character Ethic provides timeless true north principles. * Dependence through Independence to the highest- Interdependence. * Finding your “voice”: the overlap between your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs, and inspiring others to do the same.
Raf’s book is “Tools of Titans” by investor, podcaster and researcher Tim Ferriss. * Healthy, Wealthy and Wise structure. * Each chapter is a 3-7 page summary of his best podcast interviews. * Raf found repeated references to journaling, gratitude, and the need to repeatedly practice what you want to excel at.
Let us know what your most impactful or favourite book is, we would love to hear from you.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
What does it mean to be grateful? Often, we find ourselves focused on the negatives and our everyday problems. The constant flow of thoughts such as “I don’t have this” or “How did I lose that?” never seems to end. What if we can take a step back for just a few moments a day and realize that we really do have a lot? That maybe things are not as grim as they seem. That there truly are blessings in each day that we wake up with a beating heart. This week, the team takes their own step back with special guest and recently reunited wife, Cherie “Chez” McFadden, and discuss some of their own recent and current journey’s, and what they have come to be profoundly grateful for.
Take a few minutes today and think about what or who you are profoundly grateful for. We would love to hear from you and share some of your stories as well. We are grateful for all of you who continue to listen and support us on this podcast.
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Paul “Melon” McFadden
NotYourAveragePaul@gmail.com
Raf Espinosa
NotYourAverageRaf@gmail.com
Mike
NotYourAverageMike77@gmail.com
Leadership. We have all experienced it- military, civilian, sporting or family. We have all seen it work well, and we have seen less than stellar examples. Join us as we extract out some key elements of leadership that have worked in routine undertakings and have also been tested in combat operations on the ground, at sea and in the airborne environments. For this episode Mike and Melon are once again joined by US Army Captain Pauline Johnson as Raf is in transit.
Topics covered include: * Integrity- model the behaviour you expect * Communication- making sure the commander’s intent is received and understood * Mission briefs/ orders- use of standard structures and flow to briefings * KISS- Keep It Simple Stupid * Team decision making- use subordinate subject matter experts to develop elements of the plan prior to the mission * Regrouping and adapting in the middle of the mission * Learn from mistakes- establish a culture of owning errors and then learning; from the top down * Allow for failure in order to improve * The importance of informal and social time together to build connections and morale * Servant leadership- removal of road blocks and the provision of resources to the team achieving the mission
Let us know what aspects of leadership you have seen implemented well. If you get some value from this episode, please leave a review and share it.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Do any of these phrases or thoughts sound familiar: * I cannot do this! * What if I fail? * I am scared! * This is too hard for me. * What if I am not good enough?
Self-belief is one of the strongest determining factors in each of our personal journeys. It drives us, strengthens us, unites those like us, and sometimes even denies all logic along our way to success and completing our goals. What happens though when our self-belief struggles and becomes questioned? What happens when we lose the belief that we can do something that may make us uncomfortable or feel pain?
Grab your gear and jump into the deep end with Melon, Mike, Raf, and our special guest, U.S. Army Captain Pauline Johnson, as they discuss personal experiences in which self-belief was tested to the limit, what they drew on to gain perspective, and how they were able to drive on and persevere.
Please, reach out and share some of your stories where your self-belief was limited or challenged, and how you negotiated through it.
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Notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Childhood influences are powerfully significant because they drive our paths into adulthood, but similarly help shape our perspective of the world and our role in it. The boys, with their special guest, COL (R) Kelly Hines, discuss their own personal childhood influences. In doing so, they realize the uncanny similarities that they all shared which seemed to have thrust them into military service. Melon unlayers the benefits of structured and unstructured lifestyles for children, because he witnessed the massive benefits in that healthy balance in his own life. Highlighting the advantages of letting kids resolve conflict on their own among their peers. Not surprisingly, sports who’s core tenets revolved around teamship were the only sports that drew their attention for all four of the guys. Kelly Hines discusses how his success in almost any endeavor was by applying the enlightened approach of learning what not to do. His father being one of his biggest contributors to that philosophy. Mike sought counsel in his path to Special Operations and witnessed calm in the face of panic in the morning of 9/11 from the most unlikely of agents, his government and world culture teachers. Finally, Raf shares the ironic dark twist in the first significant role model, where he gleans his early years of leadership training by a Boy Scout troop leader who unfortunately succumbed to twisted antisocial behavior and was subsequently imprisoned. These are just some of the stories you’ll hear on this episode.
Please share with us who your childhood influences were, and a pointed story on how they paved the path into adulthood.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
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Expectations, beliefs and a world view. We all have them. We all have lenses that we view the world through. We have all had moments where our beliefs crashed into reality and we had to make a major change to the way we live our lives. Change can be hard, but being static in a changing world or in the face of new information is a guaranteed road to long term failure.
Join in and listen to the conversation as our regular veterans, Melon, Mike and Raf, are joined a special guest: Canadian Forces Veteran Gordo- as we go over some of the biggest viewpoints we have changed our minds on. Gordo brings a world of experience- a veteran of Gulf War 1, who started as an enlisted aircraft mechanic and became one of the most experienced instructor pilots flying in Canada, South Africa and the Middle East.
You will hear hard stories from Raf about the importance of family compared to a career- being married to a job but dating a family, and the realization that time is finite. Our Special Forces Operator, Mike, talks about changes around expectation management and a profound shift in understanding his inability to ultimately control outcomes. Gordo follows up with a more experienced man’s view on the impact of trying to professionally “be the best” and how that impacted his marriage, and the realization that past goals were set by a less experienced younger self. Melon covers the shift that came from always rigidly sticking to a viewpoint, to the ability to have a well-researched but loosely held system of beliefs that can always adapt to more accurate or truthful information.
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Please share with us the major things you have changed your mind on and how the change has impacted your life.
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
You’ll recognize them by the impact they left behind. The trajectory of your life shifted in measurable ways as a result of them being in it. Mentors are the force behind a paradigm shift in our lives, usually before we recognize it ourselves. They mold us, pass on wisdom, and nurture us. Whether we spend decades alongside them, or just a few years, their impact is indelible. The significance of a mentor can’t be overstated. On this episode, Raf, Mike and Melon discuss who their mentors are, and the impact they played. The guys unlayer the significant sojourn that developed from having these encounters. Consider thinking about the people in your life in the present and the past. Friends, fathers, mothers, coworkers, anyone who gave you emotive counsel when you needed it the most.
Please share with us who your mentors are, and a pointed story on how they caused that paradigm shift in your own life.
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notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Travel can be a gift and a teacher. The experiences you garner will broaden, and never narrow your knowledge. It can embolden your gratitude towards your own origins, and the roots of your ancestors. Helps shift and elevate some of your own troubles categorically and shows you that maybe your problems are not as bad. What you take for granted at home, could be tenuous across the world. Travel also has the ability to redefine your definition of luxury. More importantly, travel will always make memories, change perspective, and highlight humanity’s achievements. So, travel often, and travel as soon as possible. All three hosts share what they’ve gained in their personal life from traveling across all four corners of the world. From the sand of Africa, to the archipelagos of the pacific, these are some of those life lessons:
-Travel can be your best teacher
-Helps mitigate unwarranted fear of the unknown
-Increases appreciation and changes perceptions
-Create everlasting memories
-Elevates even the most mundane activities
-Only broadens knowledge, never narrows
-The more different the culture you explore, the greater your personal growth
Please share with us what your views on healthy masculinity are. Reach out to your network and make a positive impact on those around you.
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
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Masculinity seems to be poorly understood in our modern western world. It appears to only be defined up as an unhealthy, aggressive or misogynistic trait. Masculinity is not manliness- it is a group of traits available to all people, not just men, and we all need to develop some of them to live an effective life. All of us will also have certain feminine traits that are needed to maintain balance and not veer too far off the path. In this episode, all three of our hosts share insights they have gleaned into what healthy masculinity looks like. You will hear clear examples of traits being used either in combat, or during later reflection upon the impact of combat. You will hear examples of how these traits can be applied in work, relationship and family situations. Traits identified in this episode include:
- Stay the course to achieve goals at work and in relationships
- Enhanced emotional IQ and the ability to remain calm
- Empathy- the ability to understand another’s point of view
- Staying power
- Maintaining your humanity
- The ability to reflect and integrate experiences
- Self-discipline
- Decisiveness
Please share with us what your views on healthy masculinity are. Reach out to your network and make a positive impact on those around you.
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Wish you could go back and tell your younger self something that would have made a huge impact in your life? Now is the time for some REFLECTION! Link up with the team and listen in as Raf, Melon, and Mike discuss some of their own reflections and share sound advice to their younger selves. Some of the topics covered in this episode:
- Follow your passion
- Establish good habits
- Aim for long term fulfillment
- Consistent discipline
- Travel often
- Try Yoga
- Follow your heart, not your head
- Be decisive
- Be the example
What would you want to tell your younger self or to todays youth? Share with us! Reach out to your network and make a positive impact on those around you.
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
One of the most asked questions among the veteran community is “How can I deal with the stress I’m feeling?” We encounter stressful situations everyday with our professional lives, our significant others, our children, and especially just with what is going on inside ourselves. Hop in and listen on some testimonies from the team on stress management techniques and principles that you can apply on a daily basis and help reduce that constant grip that stress may have on you. Some of the techniques discussed in this episode:
- Exercise
- Meditation
- Do something to help another person
- Circle of concern vs circle of influence
- Building framework/daily process
Let us hear some of your own techniques and stories about how you manage stress. We can always have more tools for the toolbox. Reach out to your network and make a positive impact on those around you.
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
When you have a day of promise and success, or everything you planned seems to systematically fall apart, what do you have to lean back on? In life, we can try to live by great quotes, inspirational pictures, or listen to motivational speakers to help us along our journey. At the end of the day, what is it that drives us from the inside? That fire that burns to propel you throughout the day, regardless of circumstances. Listen in as the team shares their daily mantras and why they choose to live by them. Jump in and get ready to ask yourself, “What is my daily mantra?”
Please share with us some of your own mantras and how they’ve changed you and those in your life for the better. Reach out to your network and make a positive impact on those around you.
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
Humility. Honesty. Action. A unique look into the everyday challenges that life and military service ultimately brings to both active duty military members and veterans. Join us as not your average veterans Mike, Raf, and Melon dive into some of life’s hardest questions, challenges, and situations as they open up their lives and personal experiences and dissect them in a way that can bring out the best version of ourselves, and help leave the negative in the review mirror. From training and deployments, to family and friends; this is a discussion you do not want to miss.
This first episode breaks into one of the hardest reflections we can have; what is our biggest setback in life? Join in and listen to three separate stories of professional, personal, and family setbacks and how Mike, Melon, and Raf all were able to reflect and apply new perspectives to continue on in life with the promise of a better day ahead.
Please share some of your biggest setbacks with us. Reach out to your network and make a positive impact on those around you.
Contact your hosts at:
notyouraverageraf@gmail.com
notyouraveragemike77@gmail.com
notyouraveragepaul@gmail.com