Portland Vanity Soccer Podcast

A podcast about the Portland Timbers, Portland Thorns, MLS, NWSL, and U.S. soccer.

For breaking soccer news… For insight that excels… For expert analytics… ...you better go somewhere else.

But for a bit of craic about PDX footy with tongue firmly in cheek, inaccurate predictions, the hottest of takes, and plenty of off-the-rails moments, you’ve found the right vanity project. Just read what other satisfied listeners around the Rose City and beyond are saying:

“I learned absolutely nothing about the team. I’m not even sure these guys watch soccer.” - Hugh Mann

"Like shepherds with some mics, they may have single handedly corralled the sheeple against the evils of the deep state." -Stephanie

“I make all my important decisions, soccer-related and personal, after listening to Portland Vanity.” - definitely the real Merritt Paulson

“¿Por qué ellos hablan tanto de caca?” - Diego

“They're pretty nice, for assholes.” - Dane

“They’re such sweet boys, but do they have to swear so much?” - your grandma

“I gave one of them a key to my house, and every episode I listen to I question that decision.” - Tyler

“Sign me up for cropped top and booty shorts day!” -McG

“I quit.” - Randy

Leave us a voicemail: 503-583-4235