Empowered Marriage: Recent Episodes

Helen Harrison

Join the unique Helen Harrison from Power of Change Counselling for genuine and open life conversations about relationships, love and marriage.

Women are you feeling unseen, on eggshells and unsupported?

Men are you feeling rejected, overworked and you’re pulling away?

Maintaining a happy marriage after having kids can be challenging, but it's possible with some effort and knowledge as to what’s needed.

Many couples fear the marriage ending as they are just not connecting as they used to, the intimacy has broken down. A lot of resentment can be building and pulling away seems the only answer.

In this podcast, you’ll identify your top 3 next steps to move you out of the slump you are both in.

Communication is King and Queen
Regular Check-In with your King or Queen
Willingness to get back on your throne

Remember that it's normal for a relationship to go through ups and downs, especially when children are involved. The key is to approach these challenges together, with love, respect, and a commitment to working through them as a team.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Marriage Therapy and Empowerment Coaching - https://powerofchange.com.au

Are you wondering if marriage therapy is worth your time, money and effort? Have you thought that perhaps your relationship is too far gone so it won’t work?

If you are the slightest bit interested and willing and you know regret is a terrible thing, then this podcast is for you.

I’ve recognised working with hundreds of couples that this is very common and taking time to understand your own feelings and the relationship is a critical step in ascertaining if therapy is for you.

Recognising you may have a stigma, scepticism, and a lack of trust in the whole process. Having a realistic and open view to therapy can be very helpful and cheaper than a divorce.

🌟Do you have a fear of being vulnerable and the idea of sharing feelings and thoughts is uncomfortable?

🌟Are you a couple that are denying the extent of your problems believing they will resolve themselves?

🌟Do you have a fear of change? Therapy can create change which can be intimidating and scary.

In this podcast you’ll identify your top 3 steps to approach marriage therapy with sensitivity, respect, and open communication.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online programs - https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Simply download the Power of Change app, it's available in your App Store.

Do you struggle with the recurring patterns of rejection particularly in the bedroom?

Have you numbed your feelings down, or exited from your body due to the fear of rejection?

Recognising what is happening for you is number one. Handling rejection in marriage can be challenging, but it's essential to address it constructively to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

🌟Do you have an understanding and a connection with your emotions or is it all a bit blurred and numb?

🌟Are you confused and worried and stuck in the mind trying to work out why you're feeling rejection?

🌟Do you see sex closely linked to your self-worth and when you are rejected you take it very personally?

In this podcast, you’ll identify your top 4 steps to approach this rejection with sensitivity, respect, and open communication.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It's important to approach these suggestions with an open mind and adapt them to fit your specific circumstances and relationship dynamics.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Simply download the Power of Change app it's available in your App Store.

If you're no longer attracted to your partner and have not shared this with anyone including your partner, it can be very scary and daunting.

Recognizing what is happening for you is number one.

🌟Are there specific issues in the relationship or external factors impacting your feelings?

🌟Do you have clarity about your own emotions, which is important before taking any action?

🌟Are you confused and worried and stuck in the mind trying to work it out?

🌟Do you say yes to sex but do it to please your partner and very terrible after?

In this podcast, you’ll identify your top 5 steps to approach this sensitive situation with sensitivity, respect, and open communication.

Get the conversation happening
Get to the root of what’s really going on
Ignite the spark you once had
Don’t leave it too late
Don’t lie to yourself

If you're worried that you're no longer attracted to your partner, then this podcast will have nuggets of gold for you, happy panning.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au

Would you like to identify your barriers to sex and intimacy?

Are you worried and unsure what the future holds for you in your relationship?

Begin to talk openly and honestly with your partner about your desires, needs, and expectations. Discuss what you both enjoy in the bedroom and what you'd like to explore.

In this podcast, you’ll identify 5 principles to begin improving intimacy and sex

🌟 Identify your underlying barriers to sex and intimacy

🌟 How to Discover the love you once had

🌟 Essential Elements to Nourish your sex life

🌟 Engage in touch intentionally

🌟 Learn how to turn yourself on

If you're facing challenges in your sexual or intimate life, listening to this podcast could be a game-changer!

Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another.

It's essential to approach these suggestions with an open mind and adapt them to fit your specific circumstances and relationship dynamics.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app in your favourite App Store

If you’re struggling with trusting your partner, you have a fear of conflict or differences in communication styles this podcast is for you.

Over the last 15 years in business, I’ve discovered over and over that communication is the number one downfall in relationships.

If you keep all your feelings inside
If you overthink and worry
If you are losing trust in yourself and your marriage

In this podcast, you’ll identify 5 principles to begin talking to your partner

🌟 Identify your underlying barriers

🌟 How to Discover the secret garden of Eden

🌟 Essential Ingredients to Nourish your relationship

🌟 The eye-in-the-mirror technique

🌟 Soft and cuddly like a bear

Being patient, understanding, and willing to work in your relationship together to improve your communication skills is KEY.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Visit my website - https://powerofchange.com.au

Do you feel stressed a lot of the time?

Find it difficult to feel a connection with your partner?

The little-known ways to go from stress to love and know how you can open yourself up to connect with your partner and feel closer.

I get it. Every relationship goes through its ups and downs, rather like a roller coaster.

Is this you?

· You feel unsafe, on edge, overwhelmed, out of control

· Not able to make clear decisions

· You don't feel able to manage your life

· Often you don't even feel safe in your body

· Beliefs that the world is dangerous and threatening to harm you

· In your relationship you feel defensive

· You don't feel like you can connect with other people

Begin to do the work, cultivate awareness, and go from stress to love

· Learn how to be a witness to yourself

· Be curious and slow down enough to notice

When your body is stressed it affects everything!

· From the way we think and believe about the world

· How we operate in it

· In our relationships

When you develop awareness, you can begin to extend compassion to yourself.

Being able to return to a peaceful baseline where our stress is no longer activated.

Learn the 6 ways to go from Stress to Love

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app in the App Store.

It’s all too easy to fall into conversational patterns - you talk about work, talk about kids, and what you’ve done.

Have you stopped making marriage a priority because it’s got all too hard?

Off into the woods off into the past, drama and courtroom.

If your marriage is not a priority, a breakdown of the relationship can occur and you’re like two ships passing in the night.

Listen to the 6 Ways to Make Your Marriage a Priority

Start having important conversations and talk about the little stuff and about the elephant in the room. Do it even though it is hard.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app, you can find it in the App store or on Google Play.

Are you always running to your partner for help?

If a text or call doesn’t come in, you worry and you think something is wrong.

If you answered yes, you could perhaps be the pursuer.

The pursuer will frequently seek togetherness, quality time, attention, and affection from their partner. However, the distancer responds to this by withdrawing and seeking space which leaves the pursuer in an anxious, sometimes desperate, state.

A problem occurs only when a pattern of pursuing and distancing becomes fixed. When this happens, the behaviour of each partner provokes and maintains the behaviour of the other."

Learn 6 ways how to unhook the pursuer and distancer dance in Marriage.

We all bring our own pasts, emotions, attachment styles, anxieties, and insecurities to a relationship. However, if we can make an effort with ourselves and understand ourselves and our partner and their differences, we can develop happier and more loving relationships.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite the spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app available in the Apple App Store or Google Play.

Do you find yourself doing the same thing like: ü Overworking ü Not making yourself a priority ü Spending too much money ü Staying in an unhealthy relationship. ü Drinking too much A lot of people want to change but find themselves doing the same thing over and over again. If this has been your cycle, you are not alone. There are 3 reasons why you may repeat the same behaviours. By understanding the 3 reasons and beginning a new practice you will develop intuition. Your body will start to tell you when it’s tired or needs more attention and care. Your mind will tell you when it’s stressed or balanced. Living from the head, heart and gut will help you change and design a life that aligns with your values.

I support people to CHANGE, to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online program. https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app in the Apple or Google store.

Do you feel like you’re being taken for granted?

Your way down the list in your partner's priorities?

You can’t remember the last time you had quality time together.

You could be running on autopilot.

A marriage on autopilot is predictable, stale and loses spark and desire.

The moment you hit autopilot in your marriage and your focus shifts to something else, your marriage becomes damaged.

Find out what you must do to prevent this autopilot in your marriage.

Turn Off Autopilot for Good.

I support people in developing skills to design their best lives and relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online programs - https://powerofchange.com.au

Check out IGNITE an online program for couples to ignite their spark in their relationship. Download the Power of Change app in your App store today.

Do you find yourself easily triggered by your partner’s actions or tone?

Perhaps he or she really did something offensive, or maybe that’s just how you perceived it.

Do you feel disconnected, unsupported, lonely, and unsafe sharing and communicating what you are feeling?

Sometimes, you don’t even understand why you’re upset and it’s not getting easier, it’s getting harder.

Triggers are letting you know you have unhealed wounds that need attention, and these came from your childhood.

Deeper intimate relationships serve a deeper purpose, and they are here to teach you emotional healing and spiritual development. You learn so much more about yourself in a relationship than you could on your own.

Reparenting is needed or otherwise known as inner child work and this is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child. (Not looking at your partner to give this to you) Learn what the 5 Steps to Begin Reparenting are.

I support people in developing skills to improve their lives and their relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online programs. https://powerofchange.com.au

How do you know if your relationship is healthy? You respect each other, trust one another, communicate well as a couple, you’re both committed to the relationship, you are kind to each other, you enjoy each other’s company, you support each other’s goals, you make decisions together, and you feel supported and cared.

There are many areas that make up a healthy relationship and I will give you some ideas to reflect on your own relationship and what you can do differently.

Love each other. Fight for each other. Remember, love is never easy, and it’s one hell of a ride. And it’s so worth it!

I support people to develop skills to improve their lives and their relationships.

Counselling, Coaching and online programs. https://powerofchange.com.au

I watch firsthand the breakdown of relationships as couples stop planning together, and communicating together and in time it’s too far to come back from.

If you’ve lost your spark and are feeling disconnected and frustrated about the state of your relationship, but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, then opening up the conversation is crucial.

If you’re wanting more intimacy in your marriage, it’s important to have shared goals. When you share goals, you agree on the most important things that you want for each other and for your marriage as a team. This creates emotional intimacy which leads to physical intimacy. Having effective communication and knowing how to resolve conflict will support you in creating shared goals.

10 types/areas of shared goals to help your marriage get stronger, work together is essential. These will help you talk about issues that are important to you both and open up opportunities for dreaming about your future together which brings in closeness and connection.

powerofchange.com.au

There is no longer any fun, connection, sex, or closeness, and you’re lonely and stuck in your marriage. You are tired of it and not sure how to change it. You’ve been married for two years, five years, fifteen years, or 25 years?

This podcast gives you 8 terrific, down-to-earth ways to bring back some life into your intimate relationship.

Giving your relationship the priority and time, it needs to ignite and get the spark back.

Suppose you’ve lost your spark, and are feeling disconnected, and frustrated about the state of your relationship, but want to avoid separation and/or divorce. In that case, opening up the conversation is crucial. This podcast will give you some ideas to build a happier, healthier marriage and relationship filled with passion, desire, and fun.

www.powerofchange.com.au

Let’s take the rose-coloured glasses off and talk about sex and the intimacy needed for sexual intimacy which combines the physical act of sex with emotional closeness and trust.

What you want and what is reality can be very different and the myths you tell yourself to keep you looping in your head (your drama cycle) like:

My partner should know what I want
My partner should know how I feel
Sex should be spontaneous
Men want sex all the time
Women don't like sex

Myths can create a lot of pain and a breakdown of communication in your relationship. This episode gives you a Place to Start.

Become Curious which leads to Conversations which leads to Connection which leads to Closeness.

A powerful exercise involving the Ideal World and the Actual World, the good-enough world.

I have seen couples take their relationship from little sex and disconnect to a close, strong, loving, intimate relationship with regular sex. Intimacy is very closely linked to sex and if you want more sex there needs to be more conversations and communication that create intimacy.

At the end of the day, getting the sex life and intimacy you want in your relationship is up to you.

www.powerofchange.com.au

You may be in a relationship where you’re like 2 boats passing in the night, or two housemates with little emotional and intimate connection and the communication has broken down.

Perhaps you are lonely and not sure where to begin to bring your relationship back to life.

You didn’t wake up one day and just decide, "I’m not that into my partner anymore".

You want to ignite the spark and feel a closer connection again.

Communication is vital for a relationship. Blaming, attacking, criticizing, and accusing is aggressive communication and sadly very common.

All couples have differences and disagreements. Happy couples do not avoid disagreements

Understanding how your past impacts your present relationship, and how to make it work for you rather than against you is important. This podcast will give you some ideas as to how to improve your relationship with yourself and your partner.

www.powerofchange.com.au

It is so important to remember that you are important in your marriage. You are not less than your partner, and you are not there to serve them. I know it can be easy to get caught up in making sure your partner is happy and comfortable, but you have to make sure that you are happy and comfortable too. It is so important to take care of yourself and to put yourself first sometimes. If you don't, you will end up resentful and unhappy.

Make sure that you schedule some time for yourself, even if it's just a half hour every day to do something that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive, just something that makes you happy. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's necessary. If you're happy and healthy, you will be able to be a better wife and a better partner overall. So don't forget to put yourself first sometimes, it's important for your marriage!

One of the most important things to understand in marriage is what your needs are. Everyone is different, so it's vital to spend time getting to know yourself and your own needs. Only then can you start to communicate these needs to your partner. It's important to remember that needs can change over time, so it's an ongoing process.

If you take the time to understand your needs, you will be in a much better position to create a happy and fulfilling marriage. Don't be afraid to talk about your needs with your partner - communication is key!

Email helen@powerofchange.com.au for the pdf Dynamic Wheel of your Needs.

Understand the 24 areas of your life: Primary relationship, Fun and recreation, Confidence, Health and fitness, Esteem, and Friends to name a few.

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

Discover the tools and shifts that will allow you to take your vision for your marriage and develop the Empowered Marriage you dream of. I’m sharing where to put your focus, and what needs to change so you create your ideal marriage now and into the future.

The 6 Pillars is proven over and over to create the relationships and empowered life you have always dreamed of.

My unique system is integral to the success of your journey. Finding your voice, and reclaiming your power with a set of tools for you to create your ideal marriage and the life your wildest thoughts dream of.

Pillar 6 How to Have Empowerment in your Marriage This Pillar is the sixth instalment of a 6-part series in helping make positive choices moment by moment connecting with your head, heart, and gut. Being confident in your ability to make decisions that are aligned with your values. Learning to acknowledge your strengths and weakness and being motivated to learn and achieve.

Using this Pillar in your relationships, you will be able to:

To say No and not need to apologise or feel guilty
Speak up when something upsets you, at the time
Make a decision and own it without self-doubt
Not taking responsibility on of your partner's feelings
Live a life full of peace and harmony, knowing how to handle your feelings in a relationship.

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

Discover the tools and shifts that will allow you to take your vision for your marriage and develop the Empowered Marriage you dream of. I’m sharing where to put your focus, and what needs to change so you create your ideal marriage now and into the future.

The 6 Pillars is proven over and over to create the relationships and empowered life you have always dreamed of.

My unique system is integral to the success of your journey. Finding your voice, and reclaiming your power with a set of tools for you to create your ideal marriage and the life your wildest thoughts dream of.

Pillar Five: Growing Self-Acceptance Growing self-acceptance is not easy. You may believe you accept yourself but, in your heart and mind, you judge, criticize, blame, second-guess everything you do and every decision you make. You can be tempted to avoid noticing these internal self-rejecting messages by binge-watching TV, overeating snacks, shopping, overworking, drinking or doing drugs too much. And you are not alone…most people are doing this, daily. It becomes a habit we do not notice. Learn to truly accept and love yourself despite your perceived shortcomings. Transform how you think of yourself moment-to-moment, so you are living from an empowered place in all your relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

Discover the tools and shifts that will allow you to take your vision for your marriage and develop the Empowered Marriage you dream of. I’m sharing where to put your focus, and what needs to change so you create your ideal marriage now and into the future.

The 6 Pillars is proven over and over to create the relationships and empowered life you have always dreamed of.

My unique system is integral to the success of your journey. Finding your voice, and reclaiming your power with a set of tools for you to create your ideal marriage and the life your wildest thoughts dream of.

Pillar 4 - How to Nurture Forgiveness in your Marriage This Pillar is the fourth instalment of a 6-part series in helping you take care of yourself in the face of other people’s needs that pull on you. How do you forgive someone who has betrayed you? Cheated on You? Abused You? Left You? The list could go on and on. Of the 6 Pillars, this is the hardest one for most because forgiveness is equal to forgiving another’s behaviour. Forgiveness is the pillar of the journey to finding peace and serenity.

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

Discover the tools and shifts that will allow you to take your vision for your marriage and develop the Empowered Marriage you dream of. I’m sharing where to put your focus, and what needs to change so you create your ideal marriage now and into the future.

The 6 Pillars is proven over and over to create the relationships and empowered life you have always dreamed of.

My unique system is integral to the success of your journey. Finding your voice, and reclaiming your power with a set of tools for you to create your ideal marriage and the life your wildest thoughts dream of.

Pillar Three: Assertiveness This Pillar is the third instalment of a 6-part series in helping recognise manipulation and it’s important to recognize how to stop tolerating this. Your lack of assertiveness is it affecting your self-confidence? Is it damaging the balance of power in your relationship?

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

Discover the tools and shifts that will allow you to take your vision for your marriage and develop the Empowered Marriage you dream of. I’m sharing where to put your focus, and what needs to change so you create your ideal marriage now and into the future.

The 6 Pillars is proven over and over to create the relationships and empowered life you have always dreamed of.

My unique system is integral to the success of your journey. Finding your voice, and reclaiming your power with a set of tools for you to create your ideal marriage and the life your wildest thoughts dream of.

Pillar Two: Healthy Boundaries This Pillar is the second instalment of a 6-part series in helping you set boundaries in your relationship. Is there anxiety and fear your partner will reject you? Are you walking on eggshells trying to keep the other person from being angry? Do you know what your core values are?

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

Discover the tools and shifts that will allow you to take your vision for your marriage and develop the Empowered Marriage you dream of. I’m sharing where to put your focus, and what needs to change so you create your ideal marriage now and into the future.

The 6 Pillars is proven over and over to create the relationships and empowered life you have always dreamed of.

My unique system is integral to the success of your journey. Finding your voice, and reclaiming your power with a set of tools for you to create your ideal marriage and the life your wildest thoughts dream of.

Pillar One: Care of Yourself This Pillar is the first instalment of a 6-part series in helping you take care of yourself in the face of other people's needs that pull on you. What’s under you not taking care of yourself? Why do you not make your self-care a priority? How would you begin to take care of yourself?

Get full show notes and more information here: www.powerofchange.com.au

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Cathy Young went from working for her husband to working with him, alongside him as a partner. After 37 years of marriage, not an easy transition to do successfully.

Cathy talks about how they navigate different viewpoints, how they do conflict resolution and the discussions they have that brings them back to their WHY.

Where are we headed in creating our ideal lifestyle?
Where are we headed as a couple?
What do we want out of life?
What’s our final goal?

Cathy and her husband are part of Trusted Advisor Networks which supports people to create their ideal business, whatever that is for them with coaching and leadership development to support their ideal lifestyle.

Cathy walks the talk and it’s a very refreshing uplifting conversation for anyone in business who wants to create a lifestyle that will support their family in their ideal life. And who doesn’t want that!!

PODCAST NOTES

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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Cathy Young - https://acceleratebusinessconsultancy.com.au/

Do you feel stuck in your life and in your marriage?

Are you reactive and get angry or shut down easily?

Unresolved trauma can make you feel like this. You lash out at your partner or shut down.

To feel calm and peaceful, happy and healthy you must know you deserve this and are worthy of this. This ultimately leads to a happy healthy marriage/relationship.

You must be Willing to Heal. The desire to feel better can be your best ally on the road to recovery.

Find Support In Your Relationship.
Seek The Assistance of Trained Professionals i.e. Marriage Counselling
Practice Meditation and Mindfulness.
Incorporate Movement Into Your Daily Routine.

Taking responsibility to heal your own trauma is crucial. Even if you’re in a great relationship, it’s likely that you still experience some level of trauma from your past. This can manifest as anxiety and fear, which may cause you to lash out at your partner or feel defensive around them. I believe healing your trauma is an investment for a healthy relationship.

Podcast Show Notes

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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Losing yourself in marriage and relationships is so very common. It’s so important to be self-aware and take time to know yourself. If you don’t know who you are, you won’t know what to look for, what you want out of life, or even out of your relationship.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. You must nourish your mind, body and spirit.

Committing to yourself means living by the values that bring you joy, purpose and healthy relationships allow space for this.

I believe that to live in peace, is by living moment to moment with no judgement. You are having a commitment with yourself first so you are the best version in your marriage.

Listen to find out the 10 Top ways to Self-Commitment with yourself for a healthy marriage

Podcast Show Notes

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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You may know Julie Mason as the business owner, a successful Accountability Coach, mentor, and one of the top LinkedIn sales strategists in the world. Meet Julie the wife of 30 years, and a mum of a fur baby. A personal insight into how she shows up in her marriage.

A very honest discussion of the ups and downs of marriage like so many of us grapple with. Julie shares her tools, mindset, intentions and practical ways she has been able to journey through her marriage.

Julie and her husband are two very different people as Julie is an extrovert and Greg an introvert. Julie talks about the years it’s taken her to understand and accept her husband just as he is and try not to change him.

Julie explains that communication is the key to a happy loving relationship of 30 years. Early on in Julie's relationship, she discovered the 3 Types of relationships and that was something they both live by.

Julie shares personal insights into her marriage, including her diagnosis, her therapy, when they drifted apart and the distrust that was beginning to show, and what they did about this.

If you’re wondering how to better communicate with your partner, give yourself space, ask yourself quality questions, understand, respect and not change your partner then this insightful chat is for you. Whether you are male or female, in a new relationship or in a long-term marriage I know you’ll learn something about yourself and/or your partner.

SHOW NOTES

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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https://www.juliemason.com.au/

Getting into a successful relationship isn’t easy, and maintaining one isn’t either. There are many factors that come into play when trying to determine whether your marriage/relationship will last, but there are some universal traits to look out for so you can have the best chance of staying together long-term.

Here are the 7 signs your marriage/relationship will last:

Does he/she get you?
Open communication
You have boundaries
You can laugh at and with each other
You share the same values and vision for the future
Are you friends first?
You own your stuff, your baggage

Not all baggage comes in big black suitcases. Many couples bring along unresolved issues from their childhood or previous relationships. If you can identify and own those issues, you can take steps toward healing them or resolving them, this not only makes a healthy relationship possible, but it's also one that could last a lifetime.

Show Notes

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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On July 9, 2018 .... Jenny’s life changed. Her husband of 33 years contracted encephalitis that nearly caused his demise. After 3 months in hospital, endless invasive tests and rehab he was discharged with a permanent brain injury and epilepsy.

In Jenny’s words “I was told I would be Pete's CARER and I grieved about losing a mate and gaining a dependent.

Jenny talks about the life changes and how disorientating, confronting, frightening, frustrating and upsetting for them both this was. The NEW NORMAL everyone kept telling them about.

Jenny’s use of mindfulness, positive self-talk, gratitude, and shifting her focus and energy when she’s in a downward spiral all help her stay above the line.

In this chat with Jenny, you will quickly get a sense of how important your mindset is sometimes you are dealt a card but it’s how you play it. Jenny’s wisdom, love and compassion shine through an episode of the Empowered Marriage not to be missed.

Even the best of us get triggered. The first step is noticing that your triggered which for some can be the hardest part. Noticing that you're less open, contracted, or you’ve suddenly had a change of mood /emotion to the person or situation you’ve been interacting with.

For some of us, it can be severe where you drastically change as you may shut right down and go into your shell or become vocal and attacking of your partner.

The emotions need to run - transform - let go - to move on.

It can be unresolved trauma, conditioning, grief, pain, breakups, parental stuff, or so many things...

See if in the emotional release you can spot, where the emotion is stored, where it's coming from, or where the trigger originated? This may or may not happen then and there.

I will discuss what you can do when you are triggered.

The more that you notice your triggers, and am responsible for them (moving the emotions through emotional release) the more you can tell them apart from the situations, and the more grace and ease you will move through your relationship. Your triggers are your responsibilities and an opportunity for growth and healing.

SHOW NOTES

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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Dawn Parker-Jones, a Mum’s journey of loss and love, her adult child’s transition and her Empowered Marriage.

What happens when, aged 52, your son informs you he’s entering the process of gender transition? This was the news that confronted Dawn, on Mother’s Day 4 years ago.

Meet Dawn Parker-Jones who was forced to grapple with the knowledge that her son was transitioning into a female and moving out of the family home.

In this episode, Dawn shares her journey. A very honest account of the grief that Dawn felt, understanding that she had to grieve her past and then welcome her future in, her gorgeous daughter Lily.

SHOW NOTES

Dawn Parker-Jones Hair Boutique Lounge www.itspersonal.com.au

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Love brought you together, but how you work as individuals can tear you apart.

Empowerment is the key to living a fulfilling life. So how do you heal adversity and challenges? What exactly is empowerment and how do you build more of it in your marriage?

Season 4 of the Empowered Marriage Podcast and I am interviewing empowered individuals.

I have inspiring conversations with individuals who know their happiness is their responsibility and change starts with them first.

Today I will talk about:

How do you heal adversity and challenges?
What does it mean to be an Empowered Individual?
How do you build more empowerment in your marriage?

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Check out - www.powerofchange.com.au

You want to trust yourself more and your intuition. You know you are intuitive and when you let go of your to-do list and you’ve stopped you are happy, but this is fleeting and short-lived. You’re wanting more me time, time to pursue your own hobbies and interests.

Tired of the heavy energy, heavy weight and the light has gone out. You are unhappy and act like you are happy. A fraud and feeling unauthentic and just playing a role. Your partner is happy when you are happy, so you try for your partner's sake. You're no longer attracted to your partner and sex is a chore and a tick off the to-do list and this will keep your partner happy for a while.

You have fears of hurting your long-term partner by being honest.

The key to living peacefully is developing your self-esteem which is absolutely crucial for a peaceful inner world. You trust your inner self, you are constantly developing your self-esteem, you will listen to yourself, the most important person in your world. You understand there is no rejection only the rejection you do to yourself.

“Abandoning our inner knowing is the real trauma. We begin to second-guess our inner wisdom and doubt our judgement.” - Dr Shefali

Some great honest takeaways are where you can live a more empowered life in your empowered marriage.

SHOW NOTES

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Marriages can get boring, stagnant and resentment can begin to emerge. Sometimes we need a reset, a spring clean like we do our homes. Letting go of old ways of behaving and communicating can make such a big difference. Here is 5 important topics that are beneficial to discuss as a couple to spring clean your relationship.

Be a team
A balance between positive and negative
Being equal
Letting go of the expectations
Have your own identity

There is always going to be things that annoy you about your partner. That's the wonderful thing about being in relationships and you learn so much about yourself. Sometimes we project so we need to bring it back to ourselves and look at what is going on inside of ourselves first.

Discussing these areas will support you to having a lasting empowered marriage.

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All couples have disagreements, misunderstandings and arguments. The quality of your relationship is in how well you resolve, let go and get back into living in the present moment.

A couple’s ability to repair their conflict is so important, not in their ability to avoid it. Avoiding it is very unhealthy as problems build, patterns are formed, resentment builds, and a fracture occurs in a relationship. In time this affects the level of love and intimacy, and damage can be irreparable.

Successful conflict resolution sets aside the regrettable incident when it's worked thru and leaves it in the past. On the other hand, repair may be unsuccessful, in which case it may amplify the problem and continue to be the source of negativity and resentment into the future.

Learning how to do it differently is crucial for a long term relationship and an Empowered Marriage.

SHOW NOTES

Ignite – new online course- Couples and Individuals

Download 6 Ways to Ignite Man's Passion

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Women love to connect. Rather, women NEED to connect as it’s what allows a woman to trust. Women will often simply share what’s on their minds, to let go of the many things that affected them emotionally (on any level) throughout the day. While stockpiling thoughts, feelings, and emotions eventually they will overflow much like a bucket would overflow if filled too high.

For a woman to empty her bucket of emotions, thoughts or feelings is the greatest relief and provides a sense of calmness, especially when it’s someone close to her that lets her do this.

Therefore, women typically vent, or rattle on (as I have often done), or talk for hours and hours, sometimes with no one specific points, just many random thoughts. A woman feels most comfortable, happy, and trusting when she can share her feelings freely.

Men you don’t need to fix this. Women want to connect by sharing, talking, or venting about anything that may have happened since the last time she was able to share, talk or vent. These are MAJOR differences as men may think a woman may need help when she just wants him to listen. Join the discussion.

Ignite – new online course- Couples and Individuals

Download 6 Ways to Ignite Man's Passion

Download 6 Ways to Ignite Women’s Passion

*Personal Growth Coach for Individuals and Couples

https://www.helenharrison.com.au/

*Marriage Therapy and Counselling

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A lot of the time your partner will mirror things back to you that need to be healed within yourself. The temptation is to run away or avoid them because you don’t like to look at those things in yourself. In fact, we tend to look outside ourselves and point the finger at our partners. What’s needed when there is a disconnection is to live in the present and to have healthy dialogue regularly of what’s happening right here and now. Your intimate relationship is precious and taking responsibility for your part in it to be your best version in this partnership is crucial.

Those couples who prioritise their relationship and put the energy and time into it will benefit from many years of fulfilment and connection. When disconnect begins to occur leaving it to slowly haemorrhage results in unhappiness and a slow death of your relationship and marriage.

Today I’m going to talk about the 7 Ways to Create Connection With Your Partner Today.

Ignite – new online course- Couples and Individuals

Download 6 Ways to Ignite Man's Passion

Download 6 Ways to Ignite Women’s Passion

https://www.helenharrison.com.au/ignite_woman_thankyou

*Personal Growth Coach for Individuals and Couples

https://www.helenharrison.com.au/

*Marriage Therapy and Counselling

https://www.powerofchange.com.au/

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“I just want to make my partner happy” is a very common comment I hear in working in therapy with couples.

What happens when you do everything you can, and your partner is still not happy?

You will feel that whatever you do it’s just not good enough.

How’s this working for you? And what can I do differently?

In this podcast, we take a closer look at how you can begin to change this pattern of behaviour

Shifting into a new awareness we tend to go through severe disorientation, it’s extremely unsettling.

Your dismantling old belief systems and ways of being.

Focusing on your own underdeveloped self and your own inner wholeness is the key.

Being able to make yourself happy will mean you will be a much happier version of yourself, and you will take responsibility for your own happiness.

Did you know that sex encourages intimacy? Orgasms release oxytocin which is a feel-good bonding hormone. Sex helps you feel closer to your partner. Checking in with each other, connections, kindness and understanding that a healthy sex life takes constant commitment. A disinterested intimate life is common, particularly for women after children. If you're in this boat you can change this, female sexual pleasure is a learned skill, an education. Keeping in mind you love your partner, respect him and you’ve let go of any resentments you have been holding onto you can get interested in sex again. Find out what my 5 top tips are for women to be interested in sex again. A disappointing intimate life is common, but not forever, as female sexual pleasure is a learned skill! Transform your sex life and your life via intimacy with a decision to begin doing it differently.

In a relationship, your partner can trigger you and push all your buttons and show you what you need to heal. “I feel trapped, caged, controlled and stifled”, is an opportunity to stop blaming and being a victim.

It’s very easy to blame for the limitations in your life. Your partner can be the strongest resource for your self-growth. Explore your differences with your partner, in a non-judgmental way.

When you are on your own it’s easy, however, there is no personal growth. You can control who you see, when and how much you want to be part of this. They say nice things and leave when you have had enough. In a relationship, your partner can trigger you and push all your buttons and show you what you need to heal.

Learn the 5 ways to build a stronger relationship and meet your deepest needs together.

So many of us neglect ourselves, reject ourselves, put ourselves way down in the pecking order. I get it, it’s extremely challenging to balance all the moving parts of your life and having specific roles often takes first place.

We look outside of ourselves to seek what we internally need and particularly from our partner. An example, if you need to be needed you will rescue your partner, you will look for a partner that needs rescuing. For example, an alcoholic, they're irresponsible, you responsible.

Find out the 3 Important questions to ask yourself to discover when you started looking outside of yourself to find you're good enough.

Relationships that are healthy and go long term are because each person in the relationship chooses love for themselves first. They know their self-care is self-love. Finding you, marrying you first is the key to a healthy empowered marriage.

The biggest breakup to relationships is the bickering and the disconnect. Your impatience, annoyance, and intolerance of your partner break down the communication and connection.

Freeing yourself from your arguing and fighting takes time and energy. Uncovering the needs and expectations you bring to your relationship/marriage is your work. To heal the wounds, you have brought with you because if you don’t you will carry them with you for the rest of your life.

Divorce doesn’t resolve the emotional business of a relationship. It just gives you legal permission to repeat the same pattern with someone else.

The disowning of your feelings, you feel suffocation and then project it on to your partner. We all have unfinished emotional business, every single one of us.

Love isn’t what you feel, it’s what you do.

Find out the 4 crucial steps you need to do to stop the arguing and fighting today.

“I will be happy when I have the cash and the new man. Let’s also add in the new career, new wardrobe and the flash car.”

Is this you?

You are highly charged, reactive and swing like a pendulum according to the outside triggers.

This is a tough way to live life and a lot of us live like this. Safety, security and worth is something outside of yourself. So great is our thirst to be seen, validated, and approved of it that sets us up for living unauthentically and in a false way.

Would you like to do it differently?

Communication is the key to a quality healthy relationship.

7 Questions for Improving Communication

Here are 7 questions to determine your readiness and willingness to improve and start a different way of communicating and relating in your relationship. Am I assuming based on my experiences?

In times of fear, change and uncertainty we need comfort and closeness. We do not want to be alone. The impact on mental/emotional health is damaging and can create insecurity, poor self-image, unhappiness, depression, reduced energy and mental fatigue. The mental illness rebounds will resonate for years to come.

If couples accept the reality of what there is and focus on building. Lockdown is a wonderful opportunity to build a great foundation for their relationship.

Communication
Connection
Commitment
Fun
Growth
Trust

I’m going to give 7 tips on how to help improve relationships if you have found this year has negatively impacted yours.

Here are four questions that I received recently that many of you may be thinking or have thought about at some point.

Questions regarding: The difficult choice of divorce when you realise the marriage is over. Who you will be on the other side of divorce, adjusting to the inevitable changes? Having sex to please your partner, even when you don’t feel like it. And that feeling of distance and disconnection when children enter the relationship and become the priority.

I will discuss reframing your thoughts and beliefs, facing the changes in your life, standing up for yourself and lasting past the honeymoon stage a couple needs an emotional and mental connection.

Tune in for a series of ideas to move the rut and stagnation in you and your relationship and much, much more.

Couples often become co-dependent because each person cannot recognize their own worth without feeling cared for and/or needed by the other. In other words, co-dependency is caused by an underlying sense of self-rejection and self-abandonment.

Are you feeling empty and unfulfilled and need sex and approval regularly?

Are you feeling like a martyr, sacrificing yourself and overly busy?

Making your partner responsible for your feelings; that is, you make it, so your unhappiness is tied to your partner's actions instead of taking responsibility yourself for how you feel is co-dependency.

Perhaps you are tuned in to your partner's feelings but tend to ignore your own feelings or often don't even know how you feel.

Co-dependency is a relationship pattern that focuses on others at the expense of yourself. It relies on external validation. Seeking approval from others, seldom from yourself.

It is common for co-dependent people to be people pleasers.

Find out what you need to do to begin addressing this very common relationship problem.

A couple’s ability to repair their conflict is so important, not in their ability to avoid it. Communication is the most crucial tool in any relationship especially when there is conflict. How do you communicate?

We can communicate in 4 different ways, find out what you do……

Successful conflict resolution sets aside the regrettable incident when it’s worked through and leaves it in the past. On the other hand, repair may be unsuccessful, in which case it may amplify the problem and continue to be the source of negativity and resentment into the future.

See what my top 5 tips are to aim for in your relationship to deepen your understanding and how you connect as a couple particularly with conflict.

To sacrifice your identity, your wants, your purpose and your needs for the sake of the marriage is common, particularly for women.

The universal sign of being wanted, settled, and loved is marriage.

The longer the better, 15 years, 25 years, and 30 years. The cultural programming, the measure of worth lies in the other, like marriage and not from deep within yourself.

“I’ve been married 27 years!” It’s like a badge of honour and the longer the time the better. However, no one knows what’s going on inside the marriage.

Many marriages are not working, communication and intimacy have broken down. Women ask, Who am I, now without my child needing me? People are consumed by fear and unworthiness.

Many of us have been suppressed for a long time and stay in marriages that died years ago.

Find out my 4 reasons people stay in marriages that finished years ago.

Have you lost your mojo and you are unmotivated? Have you lost your identity and what inspires you?

This is affecting the quality of your marriage and the connection.

A common situation I see, and the ending of a marriage is sometimes not the answer. Each person is responsible for their own happiness and living on purpose is an important part of this.

When you experience joy you are more likely to get in touch with your purpose.

This is a podcast filled with questions.

The quality of questions will encourage you to think and imagine. Here’s a taster:

What are the things you would do even if you didn't get paid for it?
What do other people say you're really good at, or that you should do professionally, or do more of?
What is the one thing you want to experience or accomplish before you die?
If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?
What would your perfect day look like? Describe every detail.

I encourage you to take the time to investigate your purpose, your marriage will reap the rewards.

You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important, and you feel resentment.

These feelings begin to multiply and if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build.

Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions.

Getting to a place where you can learn to let go of the feelings and the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to an empowered marriage. I have a simple self-empowering exercise that helps you process what you are feeling at the time so it doesn’t build up.

Choosing to let go of resentment in your marriage is a choice. It sets you free to live in the present with peacefulness and calmness.

You have lost interest in sex with your partner, you're just not feeling it.

Digging a little deeper for women, it’s the body confidence that has disappeared since the children have sucked you dry, pardon the pun.

Let’s get your sexy happening so you feel deserving of love to give yourself and receive from your partner.

The first place to start is how to love your body: You have to love yourself, feel turned on, tuned in and turned on.

“What happens is you teach your brain to notice how beautiful your body already is, which helps to immunize you against all the critical messages that tell you your body is supposed to be different,” You will begin to feel different.

Find out the simple ways to improve your relationship with your body.

If you want to love your body… listen to it, be consciously grateful for it, appreciate others’ bodies, move it, touch it, and spoil it. This may then lead to you loving your partner loving you, but it begins with you first.

Many of us live busy, stressful lives. Instead of a power struggle over who’s the most stressed, being able to destress together is a great tool to have.

The talking stick is the communication tool that ensures a code of conduct of respect.

You can just listen. There’s no need to think about what you’re going to say because you’re not going to be able to speak until you get the talking stick.

You get to wait your turn. Too often we want to talk over those who are speaking. We don’t want to let others get a turn we just want to spew our opinion.

A talking stick can slow down the conversation. The conversation is not just talking it’s also thinking and listening. Women tend to be more sensitive to advice-giving. Men are more hardwired to fix or “deal with” the problem. The talking stick will have many benefits to help with this.

Learn how to bring in a talking stick and how often you would like to bring this into your relationship regularly?

Are you friends, not intimate partners?

Perhaps best friends but here is no physical or sexual connection?

The longer you leave it, the harder it is to recover from. It’s not going to get easier by putting your troubles on the backburner. It’s about facing them head-on and looking at what you can do to bring back the desire and passion you once had in your relationship.

Identify your needs:

Identifying what makes you feel like having sex is important. Men can be easily aroused where women’s desire is more gradual. This includes a connection to their sexuality and a slowing down, relaxed, no to-do list and an emotional connection to their partner. (Very difficult if you have children however after the baby zone jump back into your relationship otherwise your sex life’s don’t recover)

Here are 8 suggestions to keep the passion alive before it’s too late...

It is important that you can recognise when time out is needed in your marriage.

Your breathing has gotten faster, your voice is louder, and your tone has changed. You may have started to feel frustrated and angry. Rather than speaking assertively, you tend to change to aggression and criticism. Rather than listening to understand, your partner can ignore, belittle you and argue back.

The fight and flight response has been triggered. This is when a time-out is especially needed, as hurtful things can easily be said and done in these moments. For many people, they are in persistent arousal of fight and flight and get triggered easily.

There are the 5 Steps for time out which is important to have in your tool bag.

As a couple, it's extremely helpful to have a discussion about this and what you will do in the future.

Discuss the advantages of time out.
What worries you about time out?

Take turns to talk about how you want to do the time out and what would stop you from taking time out.

As a masked person, you adjust yourself depending on who you’re talking to. You wear different masks for different people. You act according to how people receive you because it is too painful to risk not getting love.

Often, we have learned, and we have adopted various behavioural strategies designed to get approval and love for what you need. It can begin in childhood, continuing into adulthood. These strategies become like roles that you play or masks or personality types that you act out, whether conscious or unconscious.

You can't be honest in a relationship because you're acting or wearing a mask. Some examples of a mask can be a pleaser, martyr, victim or bragger. When you are acting those out or you are being that character, you cannot be honest about what you want in a relationship or what you think in a conversation or what truly brings you joy. There are many masks we hide behind with the roles we play out.

It’s crucial to heal the wounded self and come out of hiding. With this, you can live in your empowered marriage authentically, creating more connection, closeness, and passion.

Here are the most common problems I see in my counselling sessions. The longer you leave these issues unexplored the harder it is to find a resolution.

Sexual issues
Different views about money
Lack of common goals
Feeling misunderstood by partner
Difficulty in openly expressing feelings and thoughts.
Difficulty in expressing love and affection.
Different interests
Different parenting views
Power struggles

Begin with reflecting on why your marriage is not working:

Be honest and speak truthfully as to why the marriage isn’t working. Use I statements, have turns in sharing, talking, and listening, regularly.

To start thinking about the changes that you can begin making is a great place to start. Just creating space to look at this is a positive start.

Warning signs your marriage and relationship are in trouble can be slow and gradual and one day you realize you are not happy.

When you get married you anticipate that you get married for life and no mention of divorce. If you ignore the warning signs and hope that communication in your relationship will magically improve you are dreaming.

There is a distinct slow change in relationships so it’s important to address this as soon as possible. There are 4 Stages to loss of love and passion.

Resistance

Resentment

Rejection

Repression

Learn what these are and make your relationship a priority. Effective communication is crucial. I give you ways to begin changing this. Left and it’s difficult to have a connecting loving relationship.

Are you asking yourself if this is as good as it gets?
Are you unmotivated, exhausted, and lazy in your marriage?

The reality is if you're bored and tuned out you need to do something about it. Focusing on what you want more than what you don’t want will be helpful and the first place to start is the change that you want to see in your marriage by making it your priority.

I will give you 7 Ways to begin making your relationship a priority.

Tiny little changes can make a huge difference. So, if you're feeling bored and lost your spark, what can you begin today to bring back the passion, desire and fun in yourself and your marriage.

You feel like you have a third person (being the drink) in your relationship, and you are very tired of the behaviour and what comes with your partner drinking too much, for example:

A critical and negative partner
An aggressive and angry partner
A shutdown and distant partner
An agitated partner and so much more.

You are tired of talking about it, asking, ignoring, telling, nagging, and trying for your partner to change this hurtful behaviour.

You cannot fix this for your partner, they must want to change. I will repeat this. You cannot fix this for your partner even if you’re a pleaser, rescuer and martyr and sacrifice the well-being of you for your partner.

I will give you ways to support yourself if your partner drinks too much. You cannot change this for your partner. You may be living in the potential of who you think your partner can be without the drink?

So, you’re in a marriage/relationship and your feeling hurt and you get angry easily, 0 to 10 very quickly. You may feel some of this:

Not heard
Not validated
Feel invisible
Not important

These feelings can begin to multiply if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to an empowered marriage. Let me show you how with 5 distinctive steps to get to acceptance.

Realising you're no longer attracted to your partner can be scary, worrying and all too consuming. You start getting stuck in your head, overthinking and catastrophising. Stay in it too long and you get into an emergency response and the fight and flight response takes over. Before you know it, you’ve moved out, in a rental and have started a new life.

For starters let’s slow down, right down. For some of you, the lack of attraction can be a phase and for others, it may mean the heart has left.

Stopping long enough to be with this, not in your head but in your heart and gut. 7 Steps to exploring attraction will support you to go inward and to begin finding some answers within yourself. And it's having trust and being vulnerable. The desire to reawaken the spark in you and your relationship begins with a choice followed very closely by assertive communication.

“You please me, and our relationship is good.”

“Please me and we are good, and I will stick around.”

This is called a conditional relationship and a large part of relationships and marriages are like this.

Conditional relationships are held together with individuals not taking responsibility for their own happiness and connection with themselves.

Staying in alignment with yourself is the key. Staying true to your inner voice and not looking out there to get what you need.

Your partner seems different? In every area of his/her life. Your partner has discovered how intuitive they really are. A whole new dimension of life has opened, enhancing job, relationships, self-esteem, creativity and health. Their ability to create visions for the future that are strong and robust, and you feel like you’re being left behind.

If you criticise and judge and you want to be in a long-term happy marriage, then this is for you. Intuition increases our empathy and compassion for ourselves and our partner. Growing is crucial and we can all reach within for this gift and develop it.

Here are seven tips on how to develop your intuition and leverage it to make wiser, more soul-inspired decisions for your life and feel closer to your partner.

Healing after betrayal/infidelity is painful and hard work. This requires vulnerability and this cannot occur without the offending partner’s continual expression of remorse.

Reflecting on the experience is especially important to re-establish confidence in the relationship.

It's easy for the offending person to assume that if they have said sorry once, then they've taken responsibility and the debt is enough and let's just park it. It is not enough. I can assure you to apologise one time and then expect the conversation to be over is not going to work.

3 Specific steps are required before you can leave the past behind you. Having open and honest conversations about how you both want to move forward into a new phase of your relationship can begin once you have done your hard work. Designing a vision of your future together and how you want it to be, and touch on both the short-term and long-term goals is a special milestone once you have rebuilt trust.

So you are married for a second time or you are about too. This could be the most important information you have read in a while. The divorce rate is high so here are some practical ways and education to empower yourself.

Avoiding divorce means commitment and priority to your marriage. The return of closeness and sexual intimacy can happen if you have lost it. Slowing down, it's by dedicating the time and the energy that it's going to take to accomplish that. It's about owning what's going on inside of you and being very honest with yourself and your partner and little by little working thru any issues that are there or come up between you, openly.

I give you my 5 top ways to avoid divorce and the usual communication skills that are required for a long term relationship.

The 9 top marriage problems I see on a regular basis and what you can do today to fix it. Here is my top 2.

1. Deficient communication. Communication is a verbal and nonverbal than one person to communicate, it’s focused on a connection between people where it’s safe to openly share ideas and information free of judgment.

When partners are unable to communicate clearly, it’s easy for them to fall into a habitual way of ineffectively speaking to one another. What’s worse is that if poor communication skills are not dealt with, it’s possible for more serious problems to arise.

Fix it: Couples should learn how to communicate with one another to keep their love life on track and prevent these unnecessary issues.

2. Sex Life is struggling. While there are many reasons why couples lose interest in sexual intimacy or struggle with physical affection, it’s important for couples to find ways to keep their sex life fresh and fulfilling.

Sex may seem like a small piece of the marriage puzzle, but it’s actually rare to have a healthy relationship without it.

Unfortunately, there’s a vicious cycle when it comes to sex: It’s hard to want to have it when you feel emotionally detached, but it’s hard to feel emotionally attached without physical intimacy.

Fix it: To get past a dry spell, couples need to identify problem areas in their marriage and work through them to become physically comfortable with each other again.

Listen to find out more...

You want more passion in your marriage. Being grounded and centred enables you to live life in a way that flows with everything. Being uncentered causes you to struggle and fight against life, it’s a struggle. Being ungrounded makes you experience your emotions in a stronger and more negative way when you could be experiencing a much calmer way.

Grounding is crucial for more passion in your marriage.

Find out how do you ground yourself to become more centred and calmer.

Once grounded here are 7 ideas to bring back the passion in your marriage:

Change your pattern of initiating sex. ...
Allow tension to build. ...
Separate sexual intimacy from routine. ...
Carve out time to spend with your partner. ...
Hold hands more often. ...
Focus on affectionate touch. ...
Practice being more emotionally vulnerable during sex.

I have found a lot of people will do anything to make their relationship work and that’s why they almost never regret it when it’s time to walk away. Yes, it is painful and there will be grief, but they do it anyway. Toxic is when you cannot let go but your partner cannot treat you right.

I discuss, what does toxic look like?

Going back to somebody that isn’t good for you, you are going to miss them until you don’t, and you will then move on. Understanding the pattern, you are playing can be helpful. An example of a pattern is a rescuer.

The Rescuer: You take on other people’s problems to avoid your own and it makes you feel good about yourself. 4 Effective Ways the Rescuer becomes the Coach…

Did I choose the wrong person? Are we just incompatible?

Tough questions that many couples ask themselves after the honeymoon phase or the blissful part of the relationship has gone.

Compatibility is key to a life-long partnership.

“Compatibility is more important than love ― believe it or not ― and goes hand in hand with respect and communication at the top.”

Asking yourselves if your wanting similar things in a relationship is vital.

There are 4 primary types of compatibility and 1 is a must-have if you are going to be a long-term couple.

If you can let the thoughts pass on by on a superficial level, not giving them any energy, just noticing them you will stay in the present moment. You don’t have to repress your thoughts, notice them and don’t attach to them. You don’t have to act on any thoughts you don’t wish too. Instead check within if it’s aligned with your values and coming from a place of love and compassion.

Main points on how to free yourself from your thoughts

Remember you have a choice so observe your thoughts.
Have a conversation with yourself.
Talk to your thoughts. They are not bigger than you. They are your thoughts, not you.
Your thoughts do not control you; you have a choice and can choose your thoughts.

Living in the present moment is a state of active, open, intentional attention on being. True presence brings the realization that you are not your thoughts.

Introducing Naomi Hutchings, a clinical sexologist currently working in Brisbane, Queensland.

What is a sexologist? A sexologist is someone who has extensively studied, at a university level, the field of human sexuality in all aspects. There are presently three fields of professional practice in sexology: research, sexual education, and clinical practice.

I want to want sex!

“People have unrealistic expectations which gets them down”.

“There is a lot of grief and they think there is something wrong or they're broken is usually another word they'll say because they don't want sex”.

We talk a lot about what that means and why they're so concerned about that.

How do you begin to unpack that and support people through this?

I talk about what they were taught about sex. Were they in a house where sex was not talked about, was it silent? So even though there wasn't anything negative being said as such, it's the silence.

Naomi sees a lot of people who are in different religions where you can't have sex until marriage. “So I see a lot of them who have got together and then waited and then they're in all sorts of bother”.

People are taught sex was not okay from a young age.

Unpacking the messages around sex and how you were raised is a place to begin looking at the relationship you have with sex.

“Even in Australia, whilst we might be ahead in the sense of being more open than some countries, we still have a long way to go” explains Naomi.

Changing those stories that you have around sex and being able to talk about it. Some people find it really difficult to talk about, normalising sex is so important.

Clutter Hurts Marriage with Guests from Little Home Organised Podcast

Introducing sisters Bonnie Blake and Lilly Goleby

The role of professional organisers is really a combination role where we are part:

best friend
part support worker
part therapist
part like cleaner or housekeeper

We're really physical and hands-on in the work that we do and we provide that emotional support as we are really focused on the psychology of why are we keeping things.

Clutter hurts

We really find with the clients that we work with, that if there's

a lot going on in their minds
relationship problems
problems at work
health problems

This all manifests in their physical space around them creating clutter.

A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind and in a marital bedroom in particular, if you walk in and there's a whole lot of clutter going on, you can guarantee there are some problems in the relationship too.

Clutter can be symbolic of

low self-esteem
depression
anxiety
lack of personal boundaries

Peter Hooper is the legal practitioner Director of Brisbane Family Law Specialists Pty Ltd trading as Hooper Family Lawyers. Peter has been a Queensland Law Society Family Law Accredited Specialist since 2007.

Peter explained that Separation under the law requires three things.

That there's an intent to separate by one party.
A communication of that intent to the other party
And then acting upon it.

If somebody decides the marriage is over and then through words or actions communicates that to the other party and then they act upon it that's an official separation.

Just by leaving the house simply does not mean there's a separation there. And indeed, staying in the house doesn't mean there's a separation.

Ensuring there is a power balance. Having a lawyer is to empower individuals so that one party can't exert power or influence over the other party. So, the family law act contemplates that people ought to reach agreements with respect to their parenting and property issues, but you cannot do that if there's a power imbalance. So independent, legal advice addresses that imbalance.

If you are in the position of separation read the blog and listen to the podcast to empower yourself through this difficult time.

Introducing the Addictive World with Georgia Phillips and Kym Haynes. Two dynamic therapists with a wealth of knowledge between them and have been working with families with trauma, addiction, domestic violence, and sexual abuse.

What is addiction and how it affects marriage?

Addiction is disconnection.

“When I'm disconnected, then I'm going to reach outside of myself and I'll have to use, that's addiction”.

“So if I'm disconnected from myself, then I can't be there for my partner”.

We see addiction as obviously the opposite, we need connection. And if we haven't got that, we're going to use something to get connected too.

For example, if we're using gaming or we're using alcohol or that first smoke we feel that connection again and I'm all right and have nothing wrong with me.

to that, we might have that void inside ourselves where we're seeking, needing, wanting something to fill that void for us, that loneliness and emptiness. And we keep chasing.

Understanding the family system and the tools and skills to manage this is so very important to break the pattern of addiction.

Many people live with baggage, events that have happened in their lives, and never come to peace with them. You've not had closure, healing, and acceptance. You have not processed the emotional component of events that have occurred in your life, particularly when you were younger. You then get triggered easily in fight, flight, freeze, and you feel unsafe.

The question to ask yourself is, do I live in survival, or am I thriving and calm?

The psychological changes in your body when you are in fight, flight, or freeze are meant to last for a short period, just till the danger until you face the danger and whether you fight, flight or freeze.

We can remain in a state of persistent arousal with limited opportunities to release the built-up tension and we repeatedly react in this way over and over, and over again, over decades.

So, the goal is to come down from living in a survival way of living and living in a calm, thriving manner. You are either in a heightened state of survival or you are in a relaxed calm place within yourself free from your baggage, it is your choice.

As you can imagine it is difficult for a marriage to go long term without communication and effective assertive communication. In time you will feel lonely, distant, and disconnected.

It’s crucial to make your relationship a priority and put the necessary work and commitment into your marriage/relationship. Research says the average couple spends only 20 min a week talking with each other!

Asking yourself if you want a happier marriage and what your willing to do to get this.

Where do I begin? The 7 steps to begin communicating again:

Except that people communicate love in different ways.

A marriage can last with no communication, but it will be a miserable one. Having the courage to address this and to start making some changes in the direction of improving communication is the key.

Here are some reasons you may avoid confrontation

Your family of origin did not do confrontation
Your fear of disapproval and rejection
You are a martyr; you sacrifice yourself for others and more…

Part of self-love is listening to yourself all the time. It involves listening to yourself and noticing within yourself when something does not feel right, trusting your intuition and being able to say ‘no’.

What is the cost to you in avoiding confrontation?

You reject yourself and put others before yourself. You avoid you and what you really feel.

The go-to tool to stop avoiding confrontation is SELF

This simple self-empowering exercise if you practice enough will be your go-to anytime, you are feeling some unease within yourself. Identifying within yourself, conflict, tension, blame, nerves from not speaking up, judgement and more....

What is a man-child?

I talk about the behaviours of a man-child and the ways you can deal with this if you are on the receiving end of a man-child.

You're tired of being his Mom and nagging and speaking to him like you are his parent. You will be enabling him to stay in the man-child if you behave this way. You're aware of this but not sure how to change it?

You're tired of making excuses for him. This is not your burden or your opportunity to rescue him, and perhaps you are doing this...

If you are lonely in your marriage it's painful and it hurts, and you wonder how you got here. What does it look like?

Your both at one place together yet you cannot connect with each other. You feel awkward and uncomfortable being in the same room together. You are not physically, mentally, or emotionally connected.

When you do connect it may be hostile, defensive, argumentative and you start assuming things and taking things very personally. You both no longer share your feelings with each other.

Recognising how did you get here and what you are going to do about it. Listen to gain insight into your best way forward.

When partners can’t express their emotions, it can erode the marriage. Emotions give us important information that we can use to better understand our needs, priorities, and limits. We can use emotions to set boundaries and make decisions.

Without emotion in your marriage, this erodes trust, security, intimacy, and closeness, and it's very painful if you’re on the receiving end of it.

If a partner is not sharing emotions like sadness, loss, or grief, the relationship doesn’t become a haven for dealing with the deeper issues that occur in marriage.

Learn 3 ways to help your partner express their emotions………

Having no fun in your marriage is slowly killing it and I see firsthand how it is affecting the couples I work with. It's putting strain and stress on marriages and not creating room for pleasure and desire. Understanding that you need to bring fun back will make for a much happier empowered marriage.

10 Ideas to start bringing the fun back into your marriage:

Prioritise your marriage
Schedule time for fun
Let Worry go …… and more

Being able to trust your partner is the most important part of being in a relationship. Your life’s experiences can impact your ability to trust others.

When we are a child that’s where we learn about trust and love, our first family.

Were you able to express emotions?
Were you able to count on your parents?
Was speaking your truth safe?

As adults, we carry our old programming including fears, abandonment, rejection, trust issues and our stories from the past. Sometimes we get triggered and act out and cause destruction and am unable to communicate what has happened or what’s going on for yourself and unable to trust.

If your partner has hurt you it’s deciding to trust again.

The action step needed is to decide to trust again.

Perhaps a risk and is it a risk worth taking?

I give some ways to build trust if you have decided to recommit to your marriage.

Gabriela Rosa is a world-renowned fertility specialist, host of the Fertility Challenge™ and the founder and clinical director of the Rosa Institute, an organization dedicated to helping couples create healthy babies, despite previous reproductive challenges.

A very interesting interview discussing:

Important question to ask yourself in life
“As a result of growing”
Who do I need to become?
What’s your keys against stress?

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage/relationship. Our intimate relationship I believe has a huge bearing on our own worthiness to give and receive love. What we are willing to accept is deeply connected to our level of self-esteem and how conscious we are and how available we are to ourselves to release any suppressed traumas and healing our wounds. There are warning signs you’re in a toxic relationship.

Educating yourself on what’s toxic is so important. Here are 5 of the 10 warning signs………….

Control or Jealousy Issues
Sex is on the TO DO LIST
Lack of communication
Blaming and degrading
Imbalance of energy/power...

Interview with Megan Warren from Key to Kids. Megan offers beneficial skills in building a relationship with children because children will do anything for you if they:

feel that they're loved
if they feel that they're valued
and you have that relationship with them

Megan talks about the top three skills/tools for parenting that will support you in your parenting and also your marriage.

You hear those hated words, “I’m not in love with you.” Or maybe your partner thought they made it a little easier for you by saying, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”

It hurts. You love your partner but for whatever reason, your partner no longer wants to be with you.

To be in love with each other again can happen with WILL, WANT AND WORK.

The Process for saving and liberating Your Marriage is dependent on many factors and this week’s blog and podcast goes into detail about what needs to happen for you both to fall back in love with your partner.

An interview with Garry Borman from Feeling Great Naturally. Listen to the complete interview on the Empowered Marriage Podcast.

Tired adrenals are something Garry see lots of and how numerous health conditions can all come back to this one common syndrome.

There are many symptoms if you're suffering from adrenal fatigue syndrome and where do you begin addressing this? It affects the quality of your life and your marriage. Attending to this early is vital. Knowing the signs and acting on them so it doesn’t affect the quality of your marriage is the key.

When you have a problem in your life you work out what you’re doing wrong, come up with a solution and you try and fix it yourself or seek assistance.

This waiting and blaming is very destructive to yourself and your marriage. Each of you needs to take responsibility for the problems and aide in the solutions.

What are the common signs that your marriage needs mending?

Follow the 7 Steps to Mend your Marriage in 7 days and notice a change in how you’re feeling about your marriage.

Anxiety in the suburbs is rampant and I see firsthand how it is affecting the marriages of Australia. It's putting strain and stress on marriages and not creating room for pleasure and desire. Understanding it and healing it will make for a much happier empowered marriage.

Do I have anxiety? 2 Questions to ask yourself

Is my reaction over the top for what’s presenting?
Are you finding it difficult to do things that you use to find easy? For e.g. groceries, riding in an elevator or being in a crowd.

Anxiety symptoms:

Restlessness, and a feeling of being "on-edge"
Hypervigilant, always on guard
Uncontrollable feelings of worry
Increased irritability and more ….

Anxiety is a symptom and getting to the roots and moving them eliminates your anxiety, learn how.

When did you last reflect on your marriage and the reality you are living?

What is the reality of your marriage, not the stories in your head?

Are you in an Empowered marriage filled with passion, desire and love?

Map your marriage looks at the 10 different areas that make up your marriage (From Prepare-Enrich Marriage Program)

Communication
Conflict Resolution
Partner Style and Habits
Financial Management
Leisure Activities
Sexuality and Affection and more

Discovering the strength and growth areas of your marriage is the place to start to map your marriage.

If you are feeling more like roommates and best friends, not lovers, then I'd encourage you to look at your relationship. The longer you leave this, the harder it is to come back from. It’s very painful if you are in this position in your marriage. Desire is about staying open to yourself and your partner.

The mystery of that person in your life who's living right beside you. And it's having trust and being vulnerable. The desire to reawaken the spark in you and your relationship begins with a choice.

Breaking routine is really, important. And if you want to bring the spark back, breaking the routine is essential. And bringing back the essence of romance. Surprise, anticipation and mystery. It's exciting and it's being open to bringing that spark back in.

Deciding you want to change this and live in a calmer way; a thriving way is a personal decision and often brought on because it’s affecting the quality of your marriage.

9 signs that you are overcoming adrenaline addiction will help and support you through this transition. The adrenaline was like a drug for you, getting you through the day and making your life more exciting. When you take this away, you may notice that your motivation subsides, your energy lessens, your thought process is less organised, and you feel mentally slower.

This is all normal – the key is to just let it pass and know that you are on the right track to becoming a healthier, authentic, human being which will ripple through to your marriage.

The Cost to you and your marriage
You get busier and busier with no relief in sight. You push and push yourself and create situations to get a hit of adrenaline. Extended periods of stress will in time catch up to you and roll into chronic stress which will in time affect your health. You cannot live this way forever and something must give….

Listen to how you become used to living with the rush of adrenaline and actually don’t know another way. You get hooked to the adrenaline flooding your body and unconsciously create ways to receive a hit. For e.g. running late. This all creates a strain on your marriage.

If you would like to do it differently listen and learn how to overcome adrenaline addiction.

Marriage can be one of the biggest decisions of your life and should not be rushed. Sometimes I sit with couples and wonder why they got married in the first place. They committed to someone who was displaying behaviour that worried them, upset them however they got married anyway.

Commitment is a mindset. Your behaviour should reflect this mindset.

How do you know if you’re not committed? 9 signs which may surprise you.

Knowing when to commit: 10 signs which will not surprise you.

How could your life have changed so radically?

You’re wondering about simply surviving an unhappy marriage. When you are surviving there is no pleasure or joy so and not a lot of physical intimacy.

There are so many reasons why you may be unhappy in your marriage. Gaining clarity on what they are is a great place to start and knowing the personal cost to you.

People show you who they are. Again, and again. Believe them the first time. We live in the hope and potential that someone will change. Understanding the personal cost to you is crucial.

A common theme in my Counselling sessions.

Why are we needy and what does it look like?

You may be always running to your partner for help?
Perhaps you are constantly texting, messaging even if they are at work?
Needing affection and attention from your partner?

Finding what you need from within yourself and not your partner is the key. Understanding how the masculine and feminine energy works is a great place to start. The differences between immature and mature energies.

Nothing prepares you for the transition to an empty nest and it can cause damage to a marriage and a relationship. It's important to prepare for when your children leave home. You need to start preparing years before your children leave home.

I believe if you can connect and build on your purpose the empty nest will not be so hard-hitting and you will transition into your new life more easily. Raising your children is not your purpose it is your role. Understand that raising your children is your role and it's for you to find what your purpose is.

8 Tips to ease the impact of empty nest including reminding yourself that it is very normal to feel sad during this transition. You could feel isolation, grief, loneliness, insomnia, loss of interests.

The ultimate is if you have a life that is on purpose, adjusting to an empty nest will be easier. You're motivated, you've got something to get up for, you're driven, you're focused and it’s your responsibility to find that and this will ripple into your marriage as you will be a happier empowered individual.

What do you think the top 5 most argued issues are? Yes, you guessed it:

Sex
Money
Chores
Children

Partners will always have disagreements however it’s how you overcome conflict, and this is dependent on your communication skills. Some questions to discuss around sex with your partner include:

What do you enjoy/don’t enjoy sexually?
Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable?
What does sex give us? Connection, spirituality, connection physically?
What're your fears around sex/ intimacy?
Commencement of sex, what do you need to be in the mood?

By communicating in an assertive manner, confident, clear and can ask for what you want you are taking responsibility for your communication. You are using I statements and your positive and respectful in your communication. Assertive communication does help enormously to reduce conflict in your marriage.

Listen to the podcast to hear me discuss all of the top four most argued issues in marriage.

When you have a clear picture of your sense of purpose you are going to be more content and a happier partner. This can take your marriage to a new level because you are more enjoyable to be around and everyday issues you are going to deal with a lot better. You are better able to handle stress and with thus your self-worth increases.

Recognising your life purpose only brings you satisfaction and contentment which ripple through into your marriage. You are going to be a happier version of yourself thus more secure in yourself. Creating space and time to explore this more deeply is the key.

Explore 9 ways to help discover your Purpose so you don’t begin asking yourself, “What am I doing, or what’s it all for?” These unsettled feelings and behaviours can feel like something is missing and can lead to boredom and emptiness inside. For some people, this can lead to a midlife crisis or engaging in an affair to numb these uncomfortable feelings.

Living a purpose-filled life you will feel empowered personally and this vitality and energy will ripple through into your marriage.

It’s very painful and you will be suffering greatly if you are feeling this.

What does the loss your identity feel like?

Cannot make decisions for yourself
Loss of confidence and self-esteem
A shell of your old life and who you were
Given up your social life and your own interests
You compromise your wants and needs for your partner
Your feeling unhappy, negative, sad, angry or frustrated.

Losing your identity is soul-destroying and we primarily do it because we seek external validation to make us feel worthy and loved. The tricky part of marriage is maintaining your own sense of identity while being an equal part in a marriage.

Asking yourself some deeper questions and focusing on purpose can begin to support you to connect with identity and who you are. It’s your responsibility to connect, seek and act on your purpose and when you live a purpose-filled life your sense of identity and why you are here will begin to germinate.

When we don't have acceptance of our partner, it creates pain. We are wanting our partner to be different and we are wanting our reality to be different.

Oprah talks about people show you who they are, so if you are with someone who's disrespectful, they're showing you who they are. If you're living with someone who's just not interested in you, they are showing you who they are. Believe them the first time.

You cannot change your partner and if you're wanting them to change and they're not, this just leaves you with resentment. It's getting to a place of being able to accept your partner just as they are. And if you cannot, you need to question whether you stay in the marriage.

I show you 7 ways of being able to live in your marriage with acceptance. We all deserve to live in an empowered, amazing marriage and to thrive and live in acceptance.

If you're thinking about ending your marriage, you're likely to be facing one of the most difficult decisions of your adult life. Many people struggle for a very long time before making a firm choice about whether to stay or go.

People fear change and sometimes it's easier to stay in the uncomfortableness of what they know, even though it's hurting them deeply. You may have already invested a lot of time in the marriage. It's generally easier for a young couple to divorce and start their lives over again then for partners who have been together in a long-term relationship and are older. The belief, death do us part. A lot of people have this belief, and we'll stay together even though there are many red flags and they are unhappy because they believe that they cannot break the vows that they made when they got married. Death do us part.

This podcast I will cover:

The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage
Primary reasons people stay
Questions to ask yourself
What to do before making any major decisions

Quotes:

“I had to make some changes in my life. No one else was able to do it for me. I didn’t know how, but I just had to trust and start.”
HELEN HARRISON

Are you feeling like you're trapped, you're stuck, you're in a rut and your marriage has gone stale? The bottom line is if you're bored, you need to do something about it. You need to act. Simply accepting that being bored is okay and normal in your marriage, I believe is a ticking time bomb to divorce. Choosing to settle for feeling bored and that it’s okay, I believe is extremely sad and it can impact your health, quality of your marriage and longevity of your marriage.

Action steps to Turn on Your Marriage can change your feelings to deeper intimacy and attachment for your partner. Being spontaneous is creative. It's fun, and no matter how busy you both are, there is always something fun that you can do, begin to be creative.

All marriages can go through phases and times where they feel bored. It's recognizing that your feeling bored. It's not projecting it onto your partner. It's about taking ownership of what you can do differently. If you do not address this boredom, the gap between you can grow, you can become disconnected, disinterested. And when you begin to stop caring about your partner, that is not a good place to be in. So, if you're feeling bored, start to take some action steps to change how you are feeling.

Victorious is about developing your own strength so that you can be successful, triumphant and the best version of yourself. It means becoming the number one person in your life, building up your self-esteem and recognising how awesome and brilliant you are which ripples through into your marriage. Looking outside of yourself for your partner to do this will just set you up for disappointment, heartache and pain and a victim mentality.

Some people carry pain and hurt around without dealing with it. By entertaining thoughts, again and again, they hurt themselves over and over, reliving the pain, hurt and loss and thus becoming a victim.

Deciding to be victorious helps you to recover from the pain of your past. Living in the present is the key. Self-empowerment involves developing your strength to enable you to be the driver in your life and marriage rather than a bystander. People become victorious by making a choice about what they want. Sometimes the choice can be that they just want their life to be different, their marriage to be different. The energy that they previously used to stay in the victim phase and nurture the baggage and the pain is instead used to live a more fulfilling, contented marriage. Ultimately that person becomes a participant and that is empowering. Victorious versus victim, it’s a choice.

No one can control their emotions. The key to dealing with emotions is living with them, loving them, managing them, feeling them and releasing them. Sometimes people look like they are coping and then suddenly explode over a tiny issue. This is a sure sign of someone trying to control their emotions. The feelings must come out eventually and the chances are that, if you repress them, they will come out at the most inappropriate times and in the most dysfunctional ways.

It is most important to remember that emotions are neither good nor bad. They are energy. It is the judgement that we put on them that alters our experience of each feeling. When you allow yourself to feel the emotions, to be there without internally fighting against them, they slowly pass and disappear.

To live a happy and harmonious life in your marriage it is vital that you can feel what is happening at that moment. Fully feeling these emotions and being able to express those feelings means that you are present in the here and now.

Sometimes we can get caught up with the busyness of life and before you know it the two of you are friends, not intimate partners. The longer you leave it the harder it is to come back from this. It’s not going to get easier so it’s about facing it head-on and looking at what you can do to “bring your sexy back in your marriage”.

In this podcast, I discuss "10 Ways to Bring your sexy back" that may help you reignite a passion and an intimacy that you may not have had for a long time.

A rock-solid relationship is about having no expectations, not judging and learning about what love truly is, which is unconditional and that is very sexy. That’s loving someone but also letting them go at the same time. Too often we try to control our partner, but unconditional love is continually about loving and letting go, loving and letting go, loving and letting go. It also means accepting and loving the parts in them that we don’t particularly like. This understanding and acceptance will encourage and support bringing your sexy back.

Couples, they must go through a process of healing, Gottman calls the overall process atonement, attune and attach. The first stage is recognizing the need for that hurt person to hear again and again the offending person is genuinely sorry. It cannot occur if the offending person applies some of the blame on that hurt partner.

The offending person must take responsibility for the painful way they have acted. Regardless if it’s a one-night stand, a one-month affair or continuous partners over the last 6 years. What has happened is there's been a massive interruption to trust, a betrayal.

And at the same time, the injured person must continually work on forgiveness.

Listen to my podcast while I discuss the six different stages that a couple must work through that will help to build back that foundation of trust.

On average I would get one couple a week who’ve experienced infidelity. People experience an array of emotions from sadness to anger, shock, disbelief. If your partner cheats, it's hard to understand why they would do that. What you do and what you decide to do afterwards is so

important and so, therefore, I've created the 11 tips on how to cope with the shock of infidelity.

Take a very, very big deep breath because you will be in shock. Scream, yell and cry.

I think far too often people just don't give themselves the time and the space to simply be.

This is such a personal deeply painful experience for both partners and particularly the injured partner. A time of personal growth can occur and big shifts in behaviour, thinking and patterns.

We change behaviour when we own what we are doing. Sometimes we become so toxic and are not conscious of the pain we are causing. Do you criticise? That’s the first damaging behaviour to avoid. In the long-term, this causes extreme damage to self-esteem, causes distancing within a relationship and makes it difficult for a couple to connect on an equal basis.

Understanding what it takes to create an Empowered Marriage and consciously stepping into that arena beginning with assertive communication.

Think about when you have been the closest. One of the easiest ways to get your relationship back on track is to do the things that you were doing when you were closest, or to do something similar.

Do you want to feel more vibrant, centred and whole in your marriage? Negative energy can become locked in the body and suppressed when you are unable to fully express yourself during emotional times which can create a lot of issues in your marriage.

You can feel unmotivated, exhausted, no libido, lazy, sad, stressed, depressed, anxious, lost your mojo, you procrastinate, little focus, no passion, no drive. When you release suppressed energy, you will notice a huge difference as your body goes into a higher vibrational state and becomes more alive and open. The more of your past that is released the more joy, excitement and passion you will have for life in the present moment. Releasing energy takes time, patience and willingness.

Learn how to move blocked energy yourself, ground your energy and remove negative energy resulting in you feeling more empowered in yourself which will ripple thru into your marriage.

So, your marriage is in trouble and you’re not sure how much longer you can live with the unhappiness and disconnection your feeling. Remember: No Decision is a Decision.Not making a decision, or deciding to remain in the status quo is, in fact, making a decision.

So join Helen Harrison from Power of Change Counselling & Coaching as she talks you through the 14 questions to ask yourself so that you can make a truly informed and empowered decision of whether to stay or go.

Thinking about making an appointment for a marriage counseling session, but slightly apprehensive as to what actually happens during counselling and what you can expect? Helen Harrison from Power of Change Counselling & Coaching talks you through exactly that, so you can take that first important step to get your marriage back on track. Give your marriage the chance to shine again and become and empowered marriage.

Do you value yourself externally through other people’s approval especially your partners? You may feel unworthy, inadequate, unimportant and flawed. These feelings may be triggered by something your partner says or does.

For an empowered marriage it’s vital for both people to have a really strong sense of themselves. It is up to you to actively realise and conquer all that holds you back. Learn the tools to change the picture you have of yourself.

Do you value yourself externally through other people’s approval especially your partners? You may feel unworthy, inadequate, unimportant and flawed. These feelings may be triggered by something your partner says or does.

For an empowered marriage it’s vital for both people to have a really strong sense of themselves. It is up to you to actively realise and conquer all that holds you back. Learn the tools to change the picture you have of yourself.

Do you feel responsible for your partners happiness? At all costs are you trying to make your partner happy? How’s that working for you?
If you can recognize and trust a higher power and realize that you are not responsible for your partner's happiness you will be calmer and more at ease with the flow of life.
Discover what spirituality means to you both and embracing it in your marriage. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically you will become richer, resulting in an Empowered Marriage.

The sexual energy within yourself when on and open, means you’re alive, you're motivated, you’re creative, you're very much more connected to yourself.

What begins to happen when the sexual intimacy is less, is does tend to happen over time, then you start spending less and less time together and you become disconnected.

The return of closeness and sexual intimacy can happen - by slowing down, by dedicating the time and the energy that it's going to take to accomplish that. It's about owning what's going on inside of you and being very honest with yourself. How do you communicate and perhaps make changes in that area so that you can aim for and achieve the empowered marriage that we all deserve and want.

We take on characters and behavioural strategies that are designed to get approval and love. For example, a martyr, being a pleaser, being a bragger, being a victim. Numerous characters that we take on, but we're taking them on to seek love and approval out there.

Learning how to get your own approval and love from yourself first. It starts with the decision to recognize how you can do that daily, filling your own cup up. To be in an empowered marriage, you do need to learn how to fill your own cup up and break out of the characters.

There is no room for other characters in your marriage. Some examples of a character can be a pleaser, martyr, victim or a bragger. When you are acting those out or you are being that character, you cannot be honest about what you want in your marriage or what you think in a conversation or what truly brings you joy. It is impossible for the person that you're with to really know you and love the true authentic you.

All these characters avoid loving themselves and you may see yourself in several them or predominantly in one. Looking for love ‘out there’ results in you allowing someone else to define how you think and feel. You don’t have to face and love yourself.

Ask yourself how your life would change if you filled up your own love first and you were able to let go of the characters that you may be playing.

Have you ever stopped to notice your thoughts? The quality of your thinking reflects the quality of your life. If you have empowering thoughts, they will create a wonderful nourishing life with high self-esteem, resulting in you feeling fantastic about yourself. Alternatively, if your thoughts are critical of yourself and the people in your life, they will weaken you and in the long-term affect your self-esteem and the quality of your marriage.

Questioning and challenging your thinking helps you to understand the beliefs that you currently have about yourself. Once you have uncovered the limiting and sabotaging beliefs, then it’s necessary to find ways to change them.

Be patient with yourself because it can take time for a new positive belief to take hold. It does depend on the amount of internal resistance. If there is no resistance you can instil a new belief in one day. You will know when your new belief has taken hold because you will act in accordance with it resulting in a more empowered you and empowered marriage.

In this episode of Empowered Marriage, Helen Harrison talks about the reasons for resentment, the effects they have on a relationship and the steps to overcome the feeling of resentment so you can live in an empowered marriage.

When you're feeling hurt about something in your marriage it can build up over time. It's lots of little resentments that have built up and built up and you feel that you've been wronged in some way. You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important.

Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to an empowered marriage.

When you accept and get to that place of gratitude and that place of peacefulness, you are no longer in the victim role and you can remove yourself from the negativity associated with the hurt that you feel inside.

The result, when you're not carrying resentment, is you're very present and you feel peacefulness. There are several steps in the process of acceptance and I look forward to sharing them with you in this podcast episode.

What do people with high self-esteem behave like?

How are self-esteem and the elephant in the living room connected?

The elephant in the living room is an expression that means a couple has a problem, but neither partner is willing to face or address it.

A checklist to see if your self-esteem is healthy - knowing it can change daily - but the foundation is to know that you are special, worthy and lovable no matter what is happening in your outer world.

Self esteem and the elephant in the room are closely linked. Understanding that its your responsibility to fill your own esteem up and not waiting for your partner to do it for you.

Two qualities are needed to deal with the elephant in the living room.

Working through your conditioning strategies, patterns from the family of origin and understanding the masks that may be worn are also enormously helpful in talking about the elephant in the living room.

5 secrets to a long-lasting empowered marriage:

Have your own identity
Be a team
A balance between positive and negative
Being equal
Letting go of the expectations

An empowered marriage is filled with love and commitment, trust and openness. You enjoy each other in your life and your marriage is filled with respect and assertive fantastic communication. There's a very strong commitment and love there. There's a trust. There's an openness.

How do we create an empowered marriage? Have your own identity, be your own person. People can lose themselves in marriage. You are your own unique individual, authentic self. Working as a team, a partnership with all that occurs in a marriage.

Being able to openly express what you're feeling. Balance the positive with the negative, being able to openly express it and talk about it. Being equals how ever that looks for you both. It's about letting go of the expectations that you have on your partner.

Needy, Naggy and Controlling are behaviours born out of a wounded part in you. Instead of being an I, you've become a we and you've immersed yourself into the relationship and you don’t know who you are. You don't know what you enjoy, what you like, what you're passionate about, what gets you up and gets you going.

If you’re on the receiving end of someone who is needy, nagyg or controlling you may walk on egg shells, dilute yourself down, not share your inner world with your partner. Feel trapped, chained and restricted.

And if you are needy, naggy or controlling, what needs am I not getting met? Being able to fulfil those needs for yourself, but also communicating clearly. Having very good communication and speaking with respect, assertiveness to be able to say what you feel and what you need and what you want.

We all want to be authentic and real. Living with freedom, creativity, spontaneous choice, love, openness, respect, for a long-term empowered marriage.

In this first episode of Empowered Marriage, Helen Harrison discusses the importance of and the hurdles and difficulties couples experience when dealing with emotional intimacy in a marriage.