We previously broke down how to set boundaries in episode 11, let's take it back a step and talk about when and why...
Episode Highlights:
Ingredients of a boundary: Clear, Assertive, Relevant, Explicit
When to set boundaries - when repeated interactions result in negative emotions (being unloveable, resentful, defeated, guilty, taken advantage of)
Leave you feeling dysregulated - outside of window of tolerance of emotion (move into fight, flight, or freeze and appease)
When I interact with ___, do I walk away feeling energized/positive/supported or discomforted/dis-eased/dysregulated?
Usually with people closest to us
Why set boundaries?
To establish and maintain healthy relationships and gives opportunities for change and growth
Comes out of structure, boundaries, clear communication, and respect
Be mindful of the reaction - can this person hear you? Respect you? Follow through?
CARE acronym
Clear - say what you mean, elaborate
Assertive - be heard, repeat it again if needed
Relevant - real, loving, compassionate, generous
Explicit - be bold, be honest, teach them what you need and who you are
Call to action: Pay close attention to your interpersonal relationships, how you feel when you engage with them.. Do you need to set any boundaries?
Link episode: s2ep11 - boundaries
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