Neurodiverse Love

View Details

During this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference, Daniel Dashnaw discusses the concept of demand avoidance, challenging the conventional view that it is inherently pathological. Demand avoidance can sometimes serve as a healthy response to overwhelm, misaligned expectations, or autonomy needs. He will also briefly touch on research from neurodiversity, social dynamics, and stress regulation. His goal is to expand demand avoidance as a spectrum behavior that can signal unmet needs or adaptive coping rather than wholesale dysfunction. He will also offer a few clinical insights into recognizing, understanding, and addressing demand avoidance in a compassionate and constructive way.

Daniel Dashnaw MFT, is the co-founder of Couples Therapy Inc., the largest evidence-based couples therapy practice in the USA. Daniel specializes in working with the neurodiverse, in both his part time work in a public health agency, and his private practice.

Known for his compassionate yet no-nonsense approach, he draws upon cutting-edge research and therapeutic techniques, including the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, to help couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and deepen their connection.

You can reach Daniel at the link below:

https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/

View Details

If you would like more information about the resources Mona offers through Neurodiverse Love you can check out her website at: Neurodiverselove.com

——————————————————————————

The process of self-discovery & acceptance as an autistic or neurodivergent person can be riddled with external and internal challenges. These challenges show up in our relationships with self & others but are navigable with the right supports and resources in place. This episode is a presentation from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference and includes key practices for enhancing self-acceptance and appreciation, through a compassion-focused lens, that can help us improve our connections with the self and others.

Ali Cunningham Abbott, PhD, LMHC, QS has worked in higher education and mental health settings for the last 17 years. She is the Program Director & an Associate Professor in the CACREP-accredited Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at Lynn University in Boca Raton, Florida. Prior to academia, she worked at Florida Atlantic University as the Assistant Director for the Center for Autism & Related Disabilities (CARD) where she provided individual, couples, and family direct support and consultative services to the community. Currently, she provides individual counseling for adolescents and adults at the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety & Mood Disorders. Cunningham has presented on and published a book, book chapters and academic articles related to various topics including autism supports & advocacy, mental health first aid, counselor career preparation, and on advocacy for BIPOC, queer & trans communities.

You can reach Ali at the link below:

Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program

View Details

To learn about the resources Mona has available for individual partners and neurodiverse couples check out her website at: neurodiverse love.com

Boundaries are a vital topic for fostering healthy neurodiverse relationships. This episode from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference explores why neurodiverse couples are often at higher risk for co-dependence and dysfunction, delves into what boundaries are and their importance, and examines how neurodiverse and neurotypical boundaries differ. It will also cover how boundaries serve to protect and why enforcing consequences can drive meaningful change. We will also discuss strategies for communicating boundaries effectively and evolving consequences for long-term growth.

Barbara Grant is a dedicated neurodiverse couples coach with both personal and professional expertise in navigating the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She holds a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a Certified Autism Specialist and Neurodiverse Couples Coach. Barbara’s coaching is grounded in her innovative Roadmap to Hope & Healing© -- a research-based, results-driven approach inspired by her own experiences within neurodiverse marriage and family life. Passionate about helping individuals and couples heal, grow, and determine the sustainability of their relationships, Barbara brings empathy and insight to her work. She has been featured on popular podcasts such as Your Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, and The Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. Additionally, she is the editor and a contributing author of Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith. Barbara currently cohosts The Neurodiverse Couples “Coaches’ Corner” Podcast. To learn more or to schedule a free 20-minute consultation, visit www.BG-HC.com.

View Details

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out the links below:

Buy the⁠Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook⁠

⁠Newsletter⁠ | ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Website⁠ | ⁠YouTube⁠

____________________________________________________________

During this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference, Daniel M. Jones talks about how autistic people dating other autistic people can lead to deeply fulfilling and empowering relationships rooted in shared understanding, unique communication, and mutual respect. He explores the benefits of autistic-autistic partnerships, highlighting the ways they foster authentic connections, provide spaces for mutual growth, and break down societal norms that often stigmatize neurodivergent relationships. By sharing research, personal anecdotes, and practical insights, this episode will shine a light on how these relationships can redefine what healthy and loving connections look like for autistic people.

Daniel M. Jones is internationally recognized as the force behind The Aspie World, is a best-selling author and award-winning video influencer. His book, Autism for Adults, has resonated worldwide, offering invaluable insights and support to the autism community. With The Aspie World—the largest YouTube channel led by an autistic creator—Daniel has revolutionized the way we understand autism. His platform not only raises awareness, but fosters meaningful understanding and compassion by sharing autism through an authentic, first-hand perspective. Diagnosed with Autism, OCD, ADHD, and Dyslexia, Daniel channels his personal experiences into powerful advocacy. Leveraging his expertise in video and social media, he educates millions about autism and neurodiversity, breaking barriers and empowering others to embrace differences.

A trailblazer in his field, Daniel made history by launching the first-ever neurodiverse panel at VidCon US, the world’s largest video convention. Focused on ADHD and Autism, this groundbreaking initiative amplified voices within the neurodivergent community, fostering a global conversation about inclusion and diversity.

View Details

To learn more about the services and resources Mona has available through Neurodiverse Love, check out the links below:

Buy the⁠Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook⁠

⁠Newsletter⁠ | ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Website⁠ | ⁠YouTube⁠

_________________________________________________________

During this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you will learn from Dr. Jill Corvelli the common stages of change in neurodiverse partnerships.

While every individual and partnership is unique, there are common patterns that emerge in the stages a couple progresses through as they continue their work from disconnection to connection. Jill shares her observations from years of experience working with ND partners over thousands of sessions.

Dr. Corvelli is the founder of the Neurodiverse Partners Institute. She has a practice dedicated exclusively to supporting complex couples, many of which one or both partners are neurodistinct. She developed a unique approach for helping such couples called the ND Compass. It is a weaving together of best relational practices melded with a best practice ND lens. She has helped hundreds of couples on their developmental path of co existing, connecting, and even thriving with their different styles. In addition to serving her clients, she works as a neurodiverse advocate training the helping professions as well as a clinical supervisor for Northwestern University.

To learn more about Jill's work and the services she offers click below:

Complex Couples Education & Groups

View Details

During this episode, Jennie Williams talks about her own neurodivergence and disabilities and how important it is to support the intimacy needs of disabled and neurodivergent folks. She shares information about why she started the charity Enhance the UKand the campaign they run called Undressing Disability.

Some of the other topics addressed include how to communicate about your intimacy needs as a disabled adult. The resources available through the Love Lounge that Jennie and her friend Zoe co-lead. Participants can get 3 free sessions to work through any issues they are facing in their intimate relationships. She also shares how internalized shame and/or ableism does not equal an authentic relationship and how important it is to address sensory sensitivities and other needs each partner may have that could make their intimate relationships more mutually beneficial.

You can learn more about the work being done through Enhance the UK here.

View Details

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona offers you can check out the links below.

Buy the⁠Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook⁠

⁠Newsletter⁠ | ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Website⁠ | ⁠YouTube⁠

Mona also offers supports groups for neurodiverse couples and non-autistic/neurotypical partners. Learn more here.

If you would like to buy life-time access to the 31 video sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here and use code Podcast50 to get $50 off the price. ____________________________________________________________

During this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference, Stephen Robertson, LMFT shares information about the group work he has done with Autistic men.

In his work as a psychotherapist, he has observed the profound impact of neurodiverse-NT relationships on both partners, yet the male ASD-1 perspective is often overlooked. In 2023, he began facilitating men’s therapy groups specifically for ASD-1 individuals and was struck by the glaring lack of specialist support available to them. These men shared deeply about their experiences, challenges, and hopes, and he was moved by their courage and desire to connect. In this episode, Stephen highlights the stories and struggles of male ASD-1 partners, challenges the stigma they often face, and he explores how we can create safe therapeutic spaces for them to share their experience, strength, and hope. By broadening the narrative, we can foster deeper understanding and compassion in neurodiverse-NT relationships.

Stephen Robertson is a Licensed Marriage, and Family Therapist (LMFT) and autistic individual (ASD-1). He offers a unique blend of lived experience and clinical expertise in supporting neurodiverse-NT couples. His work focuses on helping partners navigate the complexities of neurodiverse relationships, fostering emotional connection, and building understanding through practical tools and compassionate guidance. In 2023, Stephen launched therapy groups for ASD-1 men, uncovering an urgent need for spaces where they can safely share their struggles and strengths. These groups have become a cornerstone of his mission to empower neurodivergent men and challenge the stigma they often face in relationships.

Stephen’s trauma-informed, strength-based approach integrates modalities like Internal Family Systems and Emotion-Focused Therapy. He is passionate about redefining the narrative around neurodiverse relationships, celebrating their unique strengths, and helping clients create meaningful, fulfilling connections.

You can contact Stephen at the link below:

https://www.therapy4autisticmen.com/stephen-robertson

View Details

If you would like to learn more about coaching services, support groups and other resources Mona has available for neurodiverse couples and individual partners you can check out her website.

____________________________________________________________

During this episode with Caron Starobin you will learn about the Relationship Bootcamp she is co-facilitating on October 10th and 11th in Ashton, Maryland. Participants will learn essential skills for improved communication, conflict resolution and building intimacy using the Relational Life Therapy Model that was developed by Terry Real.

Caron shares how she will use Relational Life Therapy to help participants learn how to address the never ending cycle of harmony, disharmony and repair and how the skills couples and individuals learn will help them connect in more effective and healthy ways.

Caron has extensive experience working with neurodiverse couples and this is her second time as a guest on the podcast. She was also a presenter at the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference.

To register for the Relationship Bootcamp or learn more about the services available through Starobin Counseling you can click here.

View Details

If you would like to buy lifetime access to all 31 video sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get $50 off by using the code Podcast 50 here.

___________________________________________________________

During this podcast episode you will have an opportunity to hear Laurie Budlong-Morse's excellent presentation about adult children of autistic parents, from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference.

Older autistic adults have been called "The Lost Generation", because most were not given the opportunities for self-understanding and support that they desperately needed. Their children, who are now adults themselves, have been lost as well, largely left invisible and unsupported by clinicians and autism advocacy efforts alike. This presentation will foster visibility and understanding of the unique experiences and needs of this population, with insights and suggestions for clinicians, adult children of autistic parents, and their partners.

Laurie Budlong-Morse is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, an AANE Certified Neurodiverse Couples Therapist, and an AAMFT-Approved Supervisor Candidate; she is also the adult child of an autistic mother. She facilitates a monthly online support group for fellow ACAPs (adult children of autistic parents) in addition to providing an array of other services for those in neurodiverse relationships and their clinicians. You can learn more about her and her services at lauriebmorse.com.

Buy theNeurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Newsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

Interested in joining a support group for neurodiverse couples or neurotypical/non-autistic partners?

Send an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

View Details

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available through Neurodiverse Love you can click here . Mona offers coaching and support groups for neurodiverse couples and the non-autistic/NT partners.

____________________________________________________________

During this episode, returning guest Grace Myhill shares information about why many neurodiverse couples seek help from coaches or therapist to address challenges with intimacy.

She also provides details about the new Intimacy Intensive training that is now available through AANE for coaches and therapists who are seeking more in-depth knowledge on how to work with and help neurodiverse couples who need guidance and support in this area of their relationship. Click here to learn more about this training.

In addition, Grace shares information about the new neurodiverse couples retreat "Comfort, Curiousity, Communication and Connection" that she and her colleague Leslie Sickels will be co-facilitating on October 17th, 18th, and 19th in Baltimore Maryland. For more information about the retreat you can email Grace at grace.myhill@aane.org

View Details

If you would like to buy lifetime access to the 31 sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here and use code Podcast50 to get $50 off the conference price.

Also, to learn more about the other resources Mona has available you can check out her website.

____________________________________________________________

During this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference Michelle Garnett and Tony Attwood share ways in which couples can embrace neurodiversity in their relationship. More specifically they will address: understanding neurodiversity, enhancing communication, celebrating strengths, and creating coping strategies together.

With a remarkable career spanning five decades, Professor Tony Attwood is one of the world’s foremost specialists on Autism. He holds an Honor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Hull, a Master’s degree in clinical psychology from the University of Surrey, and a PhD from the University of London. Currently serving as an adjunct Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Tony's impact has enriched the global understanding of autism.

Alongside Dr. Michelle Garnett, Tony co-founded Attwood & Garnett Events in 2019, driven by the shared goal of enhancing autism awareness and understanding. Their shared vision seeks to reshape the narrative surrounding autism to create a world where autism is embraced, and the diverse strengths, talents, and perspectives of autistic individuals are celebrated. This transformative narrative fosters a more inclusive and accepting society, benefitting all its members. Renowned for his extensive contributions to understanding Asperger’s Syndrome, now commonly referred to as autism, Tony has authored numerous publications on the subject. His seminal book, Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals debuted in 1998, resonated globally and has since found its voice in over 25 languages, making his insights accessible across cultures and continents. With a dedicated commitment to practical application, he has run a private practice for 30 years, only recently closing his books due to a long waiting list. Beyond his clinical work, he dedicates significant time to travel, sharing insights and knowledge through workshops and seminars across national and international platforms.

Dr. Michelle Garnett is a clinical psychologist with more than 30 years specializing in autism. In 2005, she founded Minds & Hearts, a clinic specializing in autism, where she served as Clinical & Managing Director for 14 years until 2019. Alongside Tony Attwood she co-founded Attwood & Garnett Events in 2019.

In addition to her extensive private practice, Michelle has significantly contributed to autism research, authored influential books, and engaged in impactful speaking engagements. Her peer-reviewed research has informed our understanding of early autism identification, the female autism profile, and the link between mental health and positive outcomes in autistic individuals. She has co-authored six respected books on autism, including the influential Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism (2018) with Barb Cook, a seminal work on the female autism experience. Her recent books, Having Fun with Feelings on the Autism Spectrum and Ten Steps to Reducing Your Child’s Anxiety on the Autism Spectrum offer invaluable guidance to parents of young autistic children.

Michelle is a sought-after presence in academic circles, presenting as a keynote speaker at conferences and conducting workshops, seminars, and training sessions on autism across Australia, the UK, and Europe. Her influence extends to universities, autism organizations, government, and non-governmental bodies, solidifying her reputation as a prominent figure in the autism field. Michelle is autistic and has ADHD, late diagnosed.

To learn more about the workshops and other resources Michelle and Tony have available you can check out their website https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/

View Details

During this solo episode, Mona Kay talks about how important emotional reciprocity can be in a neurodiverse relationship.

Learning how to give and receive emotional reciprocity can begin to change your connection to your partner and your relationship. However, it's also important to remember that each partner may have different emotional needs. As you each learn new ways of emotionally connecting, be patient and give each other grace and time to learn a new way to show you care.

The topics addressed include:

The importance of listening to hear and understand (not just respond).
Be curious...not judgmental.
Ask you partner for what you need...listening, input, problem solving, or a hug.
Attunement and connection.
Remember you're on the same team.
Your partner usually doesn't intend to hurt you. Sometimes their intent may be misunderstood and may have a negative impact.
You may both cause each other unintentional hurt.
Apologize and repair.

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: neurodiverselove.com

View Details

During this episode you will have an opportunity to hear Candice’s outstanding presentation from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference.

Research over the past decade suggests that many Autistic adults seek sexual and romantic relationships similar to non-Autistic adults. However, there are still outdated stereotypes and beliefs that Autistic people are asexual and not interested in intimacy. In reality, Autistic adults have a wide spectrum of sexual experiences and behaviors, and are often less rigid when it comes to sexuality and gender fluidity than non-Autistic individuals. In this presentation Candice will discuss the emotional, energetic, physical, and sensory influences that often impact Autistic individuals’ ability to feel aroused, experience desire, and enjoy sex. She will offer tips and tools for identifying our emotional, energetic, physical and sensory needs in order to enjoy safe, consensual sensual and sexual pleasure.

You can contact Candice Christiansen, M.Ed., LCMHC, CSAT-S, CMAT-S, Neuro-Inclusive IFS, Certified EMDR, Autism and Intimacy therapist at the link below:

NamasteAdvice.com

Link to Candice’s Workbooks: https://www.namasteadvice.com/products-downloads

View Details

During this episode you will have the opportunity to learn from world-renowned author Sarah Hendrickx about how autism and ADHD (AuDHD) impact adults.

Increasing numbers of people are realizing that one neurodivergent condition doesn't explain all of their experiences and dual diagnosis rates of Autism + ADHD are growing fast. During this episode Sarah outlines why this is, similarities and differences between the two conditions and the joys and challenges that being an adult AuDHDer brings.

Sarah Hendrickx is an AuDHD author, diagnostician and keynote speaker on autism and other neurodivergent conditions. She is currently writing a guide to AuDHD.

Sarah Hendrickx — Hendrickx Associates

This is a session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. If you are interested in learning about purchasing lifetime access to the conference or any of the other resources Mona offers you can go to her website at neurodiverselove.com

View Details

Learning you are in a mixed neurotype relationship can lead to grieving the relationship you thought you would have, but may never experience. Going through this process to move towards healing includes many stages that are important to understand.

During this solo episode Mona normalizes that grief is usually part of the process of discovering you are in a neurodiverse relationship. It is also what you may experience as you begin to understand why you have had so many misunderstandings, disconnection and unintentional hurt in your neurodiverse relationship.

During this episode you will learn about the 7 different stages in the grieving process and how each may look for the non-autistic/neurotypical partner. In addition, at the end of the episode Mona shares what grief may look like for the Autistic partner and how grief may be experienced differently for each partner.

If you are interested in learning more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: neurodiverselove.com

You can buy the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook to help you and your partner better understand each other as you move towards acceptance of what is and is not possible and what may never change.

If you would like to attend the neurodiverse couples monthly support group that Mona facilitates on the 3rd Wednesday of the month from 7:30-9pm EST you can register in her shop

View Details

During this podcast episode you will have an opportunity to listen to one of the 30+ amazing sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. You will hear from Dr. Grace Malonai as she explores the impact of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in neurodivergent relationships. She provides a comprehensive understanding of how PDA manifests in neurodivergent partnerships, and offers practical work-around strategies. Grace also includes a brief introduction to PDA, how PDA can complicate expectations and trust in relationships, and the impact of burnout. She also addresses communication and emotional regulation needs and coping strategies. Lastly, she provides practical insights and strategies to build reslience, a sense of support, and mutual understanding.

Learn more about the presenters and sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference or click here and use code Podcast50 to get $50 off the regular price of $97. You will get immediate access to the 30+ amazing conference sessions.

In addition, when you buy access to the 2025 conference presentations you will also get several valuable BONUSES:

The digital versions of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value) and Workbook ($12.97 value) and lifetime access to the 27 sessions from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value).

If you want to learn more about the resources Mona has available for non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples click here.

View Details

During this season of the Neurodiverse Love podcast, Mona Kay will be doing more short, solo episodes to share some of the information she thinks has been most helpful in the support groups she facilitates for non-autistic/neurotypical partners and neurodiverse couples.

Today's episode will focus on understanding how both partners may be feeling lonely in their relationship, and the importance of getting clarity about your core values, wants, needs, and non-negotiables.

The core values assessment can be found here.

If you would like to explore more topics that can help you and your partner increase undertanding of your wants and needs you may want to buy the digital versions of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and/or Workbook.

When both partners begin to understand themselves and each other things can begin to change. Unintentional hurt can be reduced, acceptance of what is neurologically hard-wired can increase, and more compassion, respect and curiosity can become the norm.

To learn more about the support groups and short-term coaching Mona offers you can check out her website.

View Details

During this episode, with authors Bontle Senne and Sara-Louise Ackrill we talk about their new book "The ND Lovers Club-How Women Lust, Like and Love" and I hope all of you will buy this book today!

Bontle is an AuDHD speaker, sex and ADHD coach and global transformation leader. Sara-Louise is a renowned neurodiversity specialist therapist and coach, professional speaker, and social entrepreneur. Together, they share so much valuable information that we all need to understand if we are ND women, or want to build a relationship with an ND woman. Some of the topics we address in this very candid conversation include:

Why do you want to be in a relationship and how do you want to show-up?
Unmasking before or during a relationship.
Learning to relax and do things alongside someone.
Parallel play or being “alone together”.
The challenge of taking things personally when you don’t understand each others needs.
What to do during unstructured time.
Debunking damaging myths.
We need more visibility on all the issues that people across the spectrum experience.
What does it mean to be clitmatized, dickmatized or to have “emotional support dick”.
Using sex as a substitute to get something else.
Sex may be used to avoid eye contact, conflict, the effort of getting to know someone, and small talk.
Understand what you each define as sexual and explore whether sex is “responsive or spontaneous” for each of you.
You don’t have to minimize your discomfort and assume that you’re not the problem.
Yes, No, Maybe Checklist available through “Sex with Emily” podcast.
Understand your sexual story and the messages you got as a kid and share this information with your partner so you can understand each other better.
May want to write down or share your fantasies with your partner, even if you may never explore them.
Understand more about what it means to be asexual, aromantic, demisexual, bisexual, and what sexiness means to you and your partner.
Trauma may impact your sexual interests or preferences.
Embrace your imagination about what is possible in your relationship.
You can learn more about the book, Bontle and Sarah here or check them out on LinkedIn

To learn more about the Neurodiverse Love Documentary or to see the trailer for the film click here. If you would like to learn more about the other resources Mona offers check out the links below:

Buy the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Newsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

View Details

In 2017, when I discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage I bought every book on neurodiverse relationships by Maxine Aston and several of Tony Attwood's books. Each of the books I read made me feel less alone and helped me understand that after 29 years of marriage my journey to understanding was just beginning.

In 2020, when I started the Neurodiverse Love podcast I reached out to Maxine to let her know how much her books helped me and I invited her to meet with me to talk about joining me as a guest on the podcast. Maxine graciously responded and we set up what would be the first of many Zoom calls over the years that gave us an opportunity to share our lived experiences and the ups and downs of working with neurodiverse couples.

In addition, Tony Attwood and Michelle Garnett have been guests on the Neurodiverse Love podcast and they have done presentations at both the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love conference.

I am now honored to have had an opportunity to talk with Maxine and Tony about their new book "Relationship Counselling With Autistic Neurodiverse Couples-A Guide for Professionals". During this episde, they each share a little about their work together and the ways in which they have helped us learn more about how much support and guidance neurodiverse couples need as they navigate their unique journeys. They also share how critical it is for helping professionals to have in-depth knowledge of how neurodivergence may impact couples and each partner. In addition, we discuss the following:

Why this book is so important for ND couples and helping professionals.
Information about the respondents and their priority needs.
Training or personal knowledge was very important.
Cost of counseling was high.
Both partners may experience depression because of challenges in the relationship.
The importance of making your office more ND friendly
Need to make it mandatory to get training on ND relationships
Addressed different genders and cultural differences.
Feels like you’re talking different languages (culturally and neurologically).
Both partners will feel validated in reading the book.
Being believed and validated was important.
Many felt hopeless after counseling and ended their relationship.
How to understand if you are working with an Autistic partner and may not know it.
Emotional, financial and time cost invested in counseling.
The value of mediation for ND couples I highly recommend this book for both helping professionals and ND couples and I hope that all of you who buy the book will learn that you are not alone in the struggles you have had with therapists and coaches who have never been educated about neurodivergent adults. As a society, we need to do a better job of providing in-depth education on the strengths, challenges and differences that ND couples and families experience!

You can learn more about the resources available from Professor Tony Attwood here and from Maxine Aston here

You can also learn more about 9the resources Mona has available at the links below:

Host of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast

Buy the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Newsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

View Details

If you are interested in learning more about the resources and services Mona offers, including support groups and individual and ND couples coaching you can click here.

__________________________________________________________

During this episode with David Helfand, PsyD we explore brain mapping and neurofeedback, as well as other ways to understand how our brains work and can change. We also talk about how we can learn more about why we react or respond differently to triggers and experiences in our lives. In addition, we discuss the following:

◦Brain mapping is the diagnostic test.

◦Neurofeedback is physical therapy for your brain.

◦Using both can help you look at your brain activity and then learn how to change what may not serve you anymore.

◦Our brains are wired to focus on negativity to protect us.

◦Fight or flight is designed to deal with a real or perceived threat. Understand how to reset and create a plan for follow-up.

◦Having curiosity and empathy after a misstep.

◦Tend and befriend-protect what’s important and use your community for help.

◦Sometimes people will lie to get out of conflict.

◦Addictions are well worn pathways in your brain.

◦Asking questions can put your partner on the defensive. Ask yourself why you’re asking the question and rephrase what you are saying.

◦Understand how your different auditory processing speeds are impacting your relationship.

◦Remember...oil changes are a lot less expensive than an engine replacement!!

◦Learn how to create more happy hormones in yourself and your partner.

◦Based on research from Dr. William J. Doherty, 40% of couples who divorce regret it.

◦How unmasking can impact you individually and your relationship.

◦Executive functioning differences. Work on having more empathy for your partner’s challenges in this area.

◦Pillars of a happy relationship and what skills need to be learned. Then deciding if you can, or want to, learn new skills.

◦Your brain looks for sameness, so your nervous system will rebel against changes in your relationship.

◦Incongruency around political views in your relationship and connecting through kindness and curiosity. Work on the understanding behind your partner’s political belief.

◦Intimacy-"into me see".

◦Narcissism and borderline personality disorder and the impact trauma can have on the personality.

◦The importance of exploring challenges and differences in your relationships through curiousity, empathy, patience, and compassion.

◦How the retreat experience is different than traditional therapy.

Information about David's couples retreats are available here. You can also get information about the other services David offers here.

View Details

During this episode with Jamie Johnston you will learn more about how the Mattr app is making dating more enjoyable for neurodivergent folks and those with mental health challenges. In addition, Jamie talks about why he is so passionate about his work and how understanding his dyslexia and AuDHD is helping him assist others on their on-line dating journey. Other topics discussed include:

We are taught that anything that can be "perceived" shouldn’t be shared on dating apps or while dating.
During the pandemic vulnerability and transparency became more acceptable on social media, but not on dating apps.
Vulnerability first is the focus of the Mattr app. It is an online dating platform where you can feel safe to share whatever you want.
Dating in a digital space can be very challenging for neurodivergent people.
Mattr is very user-friendly for people who have mental health challenges and/or are neurodivergent.
The app is based on research and psychology/psychiatry.
Dealing with rejection sensitivity dysphoria and dopamine hits through swiping or ghosting.
The app uses colors that are comfortable for Autistic individuals and they have a "time out toggle".
No swiping is involved and each person is given 6 matches.
Some of the biggest challenges in dating and maintaining a relationship include: emotional regulation; rejection densitivity dysphoria; hyperfocus on a person or your special interest.
ND folks may experience Inherent shame.
Things to look for that may help you understand that someone is neurodivergent: reactions to the space you are in and sensory issues; hyperfocusing on a topic/infodumping; executive functioning challenges- like planning a date; different communication styles; emotional intensity (differences in emotional reciprocity; differences in physical intimacy preferences.
“Be for someone, not for everyone”
Why the Mattr app was created and different resources available through the app. Partnerships with lots of businesses in London, also have offsite events.

You can learn more about the app here. They are hosting a special live event in London on June 25th. You can also follow Jamie on IG @Dating withJamie_

To learn more about the resources Mona has available for neurodiverse couples and individuals in neurodiverse love relationships click here.

View Details

During this episode with therapist and coach Eva A. Mendes she shares some of the important information neurodiverse couples shared with her for her newest book titled: “Armchair Conversations on Love and Autism: Secrets of Happy Neurodiverse Couples”.

Some of the important things that top performing neurodiverse couples do:

Accept the diagnosis and talk openly about each partner’s neurotypes. Work together to understand the root cause of their challenges as a couple.
Have a beginners mindset as an individual and a couple.
Trust each other and be able to be influenced by their partner.

Some of the other topics discussed include:

The challenge with taking things personally and not understanding your partner’s love.
Understanding different ways of communication with your partner and others.
The importance of building on your strengths.
Understanding what you each may need to do differently to connect.
Staying humble and curious with your partner.
Going “beyond the midline”for both partners.
The importance of working with a professional who has experience working with ND couples.
Both partners working on the relationship to the best of their ability.
Addressing different issues that come up over the lifespan.
Focusing on “solvable” not “perpetual” problems.
Working on empathy for each other.
Understanding your partner in the greater context of their life.
Acknowledging that you can’t get everything from one person. It takes a village!
Sometimes couples don’t have enough bandwidth for each other anymore.
We are all here to grow and have an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and our partners.

Contact Eva by clicking here.

Buy the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter

Follow Mona on Instagram

Check out the Neurodiverse Love Website

Listen to the Neurodivergent Connections YouTube channel Mona co-hosts

View Details

During this episode with neurodivergent counselor Jarral Boyd we address the connection between trauma and neurodivergence and ways to think about romantic love as well as the following:

Navigating neurodivergence and trauma
Understanding your emotional vocabulary.
Addressing challenges through somatics and getting to know your body and acknowledge what is going on.
Creating a routine can be helpful to better understand your body and emotions and help you get more in tune.
Understand how to experience joy in your body.
Translating what’s happening in your body when you have alexithymia.
Information shared through AANE certification includes using a 1-5 scale to share with your partner how you’re feeling emotionally.
Memory issues during or after a meltdown.
Apologizing when you don’t feel you have done anything wrong.
Trauma can make being wrong scary and unsafe.
Cassandra Syndrome
Benefits of decentralizing romantic love for neurodivergent folx
Removing relationship hierarchy and being open to different types of romantic relationships. This can help reduce expectations of one or both partners.
The value of expanding the idea of love.
Asking youself "Is it the person I want or the situation?"

You can contact Jarral Boyd at: jarralboyd.com

If you are interested in the free support groups Mona offers for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners you can email her at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com to get the Zoom links.

Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.

Host of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast

Buy the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Newsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

Click here if you and your partner are interested in joining the support group Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples on the 3rd Wednesday of the month from 7:30-9pm EST.

View Details

Joanne Davies is AuDHD and is a clinical hypnotherapist who works with individuals and couples. During this episode she shares so much valuable information about how hypnosis can help neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples with sensory challenges, emotional differences and intimacy issues. The topics she addresses during this episode include:

How hypnotherapy can help bridge the gap between neurotypes.
The parts of hypnosis: Induction, deepening and healing.
The process of hypnotherapy and how neurodivergent individuals and their partners can benefit.
How it can be used to help with sensory processing.
The value of pendulating between something that feels good and something that doesn’t.
Can help to create safety and address triggers.
“Cloaking” helps you create a virtual shield to help protect you from sensory overload.
How to “anchor” in a certain feeling you had during hypnosis.
How hypnosis can help with emotional identification and regulation.
May be able to help with reducing meltdowns or shutdowns.
Helps with “reparenting”.
Understanding how to meet each others needs through hypnotherapy.
Using tantric processes and body mapping to help with intimacy challenges.
The process to use to create your own self-hypnosis process.

You can contact Joanne at Jqhypnosis.com

View Details

To learn more about the resources and information that Mona Kay has available you can check out her website at: neurodiverselove.com

__________________________________________________________

During this episode with Sadie and her mom Lynn they share how unknown neurodivergence impacted Sadie's childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood, In addition, they address the topics below:

Terrible two's.
Sensory overload and meltdowns.
Restrictive eating and sensitivities.
Not understanding why you are so different as a child.
Masking in school and being different at home.
Expectations in school were more structured and easier to understand.
Overwhelm during high school and changes in social rules.
Being diagnosed with an auto-immune disease in high school.
Stimming at home and walking in circles helps with nervous system regulation,
Having a spiky profile.
When younger, being able to socialize better with adults.
Being a perfectionist and the struggle with some things that others do automatically.
Challenges with learning to drive and driving…being “perceived” by other drivers.
Masking and then having no spoons after school.
Giftedness.
Different ways that children may process and develop language.

View Details

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona offers you can click here. In addition, if you would like to join the new community that Mona is creating for non-autistic/neurotypical partners called "Neurodiverse Love Conversations" click here to register for the 4 week series that will be held every Thursday from June 5th-June 26th from 7-8:30-pm EST (US). The cost is ONLY $149 and each participant will get the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook and lifetime access to the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference sessions.

If you are trying to make sense of how two people could love each other yet repeatedly misunderstand and hurt each other, then this community is for you. If you are repeatedly confused and don't understand why conflict, contempt or stonewalling have become more the norm than the type of connection and attunement you are looking for then this community is where you will find understanding, tools and strategies that can help you work towards achieving more peace and joy in your relationship and life!

Spaces are limited, so if you feel called to join this supportive community I hope you will register today!

____________________________________________________________

This podcast episode was originally published on Jodi Carlton’s podcast called “YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship” and is a conversation between Jodi Carlton, Mona Kay and Michael Daniel, the developer of the "Neurotranslator" and his wife Elise.

The goal for sharing this episode on the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast is to spread information about the life-changing Neurotranslator app and to highlight the story behind its creator and the challenges he and his wife had been experiencing before learning he was neurodivergent.

The topics addressed in this episode include:

How having children changed everything
Learning about neurodivergence through a child’s diagnosis
Communication challenges
Being high masking in life and marriage
How misunderstandings contributed to conflict
Unmasking
Understanding your identity after learning you are neurodivergent
Reliving trauma through a neurodiverse lens
How ability to function can change after diagnosis
Autistic burnout
Situational mutism
Ableism
Wishing you could have a husband with a NT brain
How the “NeuroTranslator” was born
Both partners need to work to understand each other

You can learn more about the Neurotranslator app here

View Details

Lori Crowley, M.A., LMFT, LPCC is a therapist and coach who works with neurodivergent families and couples. During this episode she shares some of her lived experiences and her expertise as well as the importance of taking a somatic approach to psychotherapy. We discuss so many important issues for neurodiverse couples to understand and addresss including:

How to integrate sensory differences.
Dealing with sensory overwhelm.
Neurons that fire together wire together.
Sensory resourcing.
Understanding all of our senses including vestibular, neuroception, and interoception.
Understanding being sensory seeking, sensory avoidant, neutral or a combination.
Brain story on Neuroclastic website
Logicalizing or invalidating emotions.
“Toward” energy and “Away” Energy.
Rewiring your neural pathways.
Double empathy problem.
Changing the frame in which we are holding our experiences.
Opposites can “complete” each other.
Is it a “can’t” or a “won’t”?
Overwhelm, lack of agency/choice and sense of imminent demise can lead to trauma.
How do I repair? 1) Create safety in the environment: Person you are interacting with needs to be seen. Look at them through a sensory lens: 2) They need to be heard. Hold what comes at you; 3) Teding-people want to feel respected. This can help the other person’s energy relax. Remember not to say “but”, however you can say “and”.
Unpacking some of the sensory issues in play that led to Mona moving forward on a divorce.
Understanding if it’s overwhelm or lack of care?
Understand that repair may not be possible, however forgiveness can be very healing.

You can contact Lori for therapy here or for coaching here.

If you missed the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still buy "lifetime access" to the 31 sessions and the 4 recorded Q&A sessions. To buy access to the conference sessions or to learn more about the presentation topics, presenters and the bonuses you will receive click here.

You can click here also learn more about the other resources Mona offers or at the links below:

Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Newsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

View Details

During this episode with Mike and Amy Matthews you will learn about the challenges this neurodiverse couple experienced trying to find the root cause of Mike's depression and the difficult journey they went on to discover he had been in Autistic burnout for years and didn't know it. (I apologize for the tech glitches we had for about 5 minutes from about 20-25 minutes in.)Some of the topics we discussed are:

How things changed after they had their first child.
How before becoming a parent Mike had created a life that fit his brain.
Little time for special interests after kids were born.
Saw a psychiatrist and went on 5 different antidepressants and none worked.
Loneliness of watching your partner go through this process.
Psychiatrists and therapists said Mike couldn’t be Autistic because he showed “empathy” and could maintain "eye contact".
Relationship challenges after trying to figure out what was happening for about 5 years.
Mike did research on Autism and everything fit.
Went for Autism assessment and the results were that Mike had schizoid personality disorder, but Mike now self identifies as Autistic.
Probably wasn’t depression it was Autistic burnout.
The importance of understanding sensory needs.
Amy tried to enjoy the good days during the process.
The importance of having a partner who wants to do the work.
Creating a neuro-affirming household and family.
Celebrating everyone’s differently wired brains.
Understanding the ways you are different and sharing your needs without guilt.
The importance of having positive role models.
Many in the medical/mental health community do not have the education and knowledge that they need to understand and work with neurodivergent adults.
Contact Amy at amatthews@prairiewellness.org or click here

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona offers including the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference Sessions, support groups for Neurodiverse Couples and for the non-autistic partners, please check out her website.

View Details

If you did not have a chance to join us live for the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still get "lifetime access" to the video recordings of the 31 amazing sessions and the 4 Q&A panels.

In addition, you will also get the FREE BONUSES (Neurodiverse Love Conversaton Cards & Workbook and lifetime access to the 27 sessions from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference). Click here to learn more about the conference sessions and to buy access to the conference videos today.

____________________________________________________________

During this episode with returning guest and relationship and life coach, Robin Tate we talk about many important topics that may be impacting your neurodiver relationship including:

How AuDHD presents for women and the self discovery process.
Differentiation and overlap between Autism and ADHD.
Seeing patterns in people.
Executive functioning challenges in ND relationships.
The importance of knowing that you can have a dual diagnosis of AuDHD.
Executive functioning is every step you need to take to accomplish every task you do every day.
Executive dysfunctioning challenges in communication.
Object permanence.
Time blindness, future planning and staying regulated.
Creating interdependency around executive functioning.
Grieving the relationship you thought you were going to have.
You may not be compatible anymore if one of you has been masking.
The struggle between ADHD and Autism when you are AuDHD and how that looks in a relationship.
Behavioral differences and internal state of each partner.
Understanding how your family of origin has impacted your life and your relationship.
The positive impact of somatic therapy.
Thinking about the potential stigma you may have to deal with when disclosing your neurodivergence to your family.

Stephanie and Dan Holmes new book is -"Uniquely Us -Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage" (Robin wrote chapter 8 which is on Executive Function)

You can reach out to Robin through her website at: www.robintatellc.com

View Details

During this episode Mona Kay and her sister Ilysa talk about how so many things they experienced in their childhood began to make sense once they realized their father was Autistic (possibly AuDHD). Although their father passed away 20 years ago, the insights this understanding has brought have helped heal childhood wounds and bring understanding to dynamics in their family of origin and they have both learned more about how unidentified neurodivergence impacted the men they chose to love.

Mona and Ilysa also talk about how their father made friends around special interests; not following through on his promises because of overwhelm; deep dives into lots of special interests; the importance of routines; sensory challenges that led to meltdowns; food preferences; smoking 3 pack of cigarettes a day and taking Valium; masking; dealing with the emotions of all his female family members; being financially secure and a good provider; choosing comfortable clothes to wear to work; black and white thinking; cutting family members off rather then dealing with emotions or conflict; being very blunt and the "unintentional" hurt; challenges with implementing boundaries; and mindblindness.

If you are interested in learning more about the resources Mona offers you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

View Details

If you didn't have a chance to join us at the phenomenal 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still learn from the more than 30 presenters who shared their lessons learned, lived experiences and expertise.

For ONLY $97 you can get "lifetime access" to all 31 conference sessions and the 4 recorded Q&A panels.

To begin watching the conference sessions today, or to get more information about the conference presentations and presenters click here.

___________________________________________________________

During this episode with coach Magi Nock we talk about ways to create more joy, safety and connection in your neurodiverse relationship. We also address the following:

Accepting and acknowledging that the differences exist;
Addressing grief that is unique to each partner;
Compassion towards what is happening in your relationship;
Cultivating curiosity about each others perspective;
The bigger the trauma the more expanded your support system may need to be;
Having tools and people to turn to when your dysregulated;
Co-creating connection in unique ways;
Finding unique ways to communicate;
Understanding that you each can “choose” to stay in the relationship;
There is hope and possibility for change.

You can contact Magi and learn more about her coaching services here Neurodiverse Coaching

View Details

The 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference will be held on March 6th-8th, 2025. All the sessions are recorded, so even if you are not able to join us live you will get "lifetime access" to ALL 31 phenomental sessions!

If you use the discount code Mona50 you will also receive $50 off the ticket price and the investment is ONLY $47!

In addition, you will get some amazing FREE BONUSES WORTH OVER $120. To learn more about the sessions and to register click here

If you have any questions about the conference please send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

____________________________________________________________

During this podcast episode you will learn more about the "predictive processing framework" (PPF) from Autistic therapist, Sarah Bergenfield. Sarah shares why understanding this framework is so important and how learning more about it can positively impact any neurodiverse relationship.

Sarah talks about the ways in which the PPF impacts social interactions, sensory processing, physical intimacy, routines, socializing, and change. This discussion will help increase your understanding of some the challenges you may be experiencing in your neurodiverse relationship and can help both partners create more connection, have more more grace, and possibly heal some emotional wounds and "unintentional' hurt.

If you would like to contact Sarah please check out her website here.

If you would like to learn more about the Neurodiverse Love Documentary click here.

View Details

If you are looking for tools and strategies to learn how to manage the ups and downs of your neurodiverse relationship then you don't want to miss the 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference. All the sessions are recorded and everyone who registers will receive lifetime access to all 31 sessions.

Whether you are looking for ways to better manage change, improve emotional reciprocity or understand the sensory issues that may be impacting your relationship this conference is for you!!! Use the discount code Mona50 to get $50 off the registration price and your investment in yourself and your neurodiverse relationship is ONLY $47

You can see the list of presenters, their session topics and register here.

____________________________________________________________

During this episode with Jana M. Smith, you will learn more about the importance of nervous system regulation and how to expand your window of tolerance. In addition, we also discuss the following:

◦ Tools to manage undiagnosed ADHD;

◦ Addressing dysregulation in your marriage and family;

◦ Chronic pain and health issues and attempting to manage symptoms;

◦ Fight or flight hyper-vigilance;

◦ Sensory sensitivities;

◦ Rewiring your brain to begin healing;

◦ Getting out of survival mode;

◦ How your brain is responding to stress and how it’s maladaptive;

◦ Negativity bias keeps us in a dysregulated state;

◦ How to function more effectively in a neurodiverse relationship when both partners are dysregulated;

◦ Impact of challenges with interoception;

◦ Moving quickly from being fine to dysregulated;

◦ The importance of implementing somatic exercises;

◦ You can build new communication highways in the brain;

◦ Do your own work and then work together to understand what accommodations are needed;

◦ Expanding the window of tolerance and creating safety for the nervous system;

◦ The brain does not rewire from avoidance and the more we avoid the more sensitive we get;

◦ Learning how to expand your window of tolerance and what you can do to regulate your nervous system;

◦ How you support yourself when multiple family members are repeatedly dysregulated;

◦ Understanding your sensory profile;

◦ Challenges with physical intimacy when your nervous system is dysregulated;

◦ Have compassion for yourself and others in your life because there is hope for change.

You can learn more about Jana and the resources and services she offers here

View Details

I am SO excited to be hosting the 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference from March 6-8th, 2025. Check out the list of presenters and sessions topics at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can register here using the discount code Mona50 to get $50 off the ticket price. In addition, you’ll get 3 FREE BONUSES worth more than $120.! All the sessions are recorded and everyone who registers will have lifetime access to all 31 sessions!!!

During this episode, I have an opportunity to talk with Greg and Michelle Fuqua about their mixed neurotype marriage (Autistic/ADHD) and their journey together. More specifically we discuss:

How they met and what attracted them to each other.
Miscommunication and early triggers.
Challenges before knowing they were a neurodiverse couple.
Limited capacity to work a full-time job.
Addressing the need for autonomy.
Challenges after having kids.
Emotional barriers to protect oneself.
Cognitive dissonance.
Reframing experiences with a neurodivergent partner and child.
Not taking things so personally.
The benefit of individual therapy.
Improvements in communication.
Neglect and abandonment triggers.
Being able to communicate challenges clearly.
The importance of doing the work individually and as a couple.
Creating emotional safety for each other.
Loving each other for their differences.
Shame triggers.
What they would have changed that they now know caused the other unintentional hurt.
The importance of taking care of yourself.

View Details

I am so excited to invite all of you to join me and more than 30 amazing presenters, of many different neurotypes, to the

2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference on March 6-8, 2025. All the presentations are recorded,so everyone who registers will get lifetime accessto all the sessions.

If you use the the discount code Mona50 you will get $50 off the registration and your cost is ONLY $47.

Click here to register today!

In addition, you will get 3 awesome BONUSES FOR FREE:

Digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and the digital workbook ($23.97 value)
27 video sessions from the 1st Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value)

To see the list of presenters click here.

____________________________________________________________

During this episode, you will hear from AuDHD Therapist, Lindsay Averbook. Lindsay shares about her journey to get herAutism diagnosis and describes the challenges she had with medical providers who weren’t listening to her.

She chose to get a neuropsychological evaluation and was diagnosed as Autistic. She also had received an ADHD diagnsosis while in college.

Lindsay also shares how she went through an identity crisis after the Autism diagnosis and how she didn’t know what to do after the diagnosis. She also began questioning whether she could still be a therapist.

We also talk about the need for more education about adult neurodivergence for mental health and medical providers and the stigma associated with diagnosis.

We discuss the fear of disclosure with friends, family, your romantic partner or colleagues and how everything in life can make more sense after a diagnosis and how validating it can be as you begin to understand so many things from your past.

Lastly, we talk about how media is portraying adult neurodivergence differently and how many newly diagnosed individuals may go through a grieving process as they begin to unmask and discover their most authentic self.

You can contact Lindsay at:L.averbooklmhc@gmail.com

View Details

During this episode with Benjamin Meyer, LCSW we talk about how important it is to be open to understanding each person's differences throughout the dating process. We also address:

Different kinds of connections and chemistry
Asexuality
Gender Identity
Difference between romantic and sexual feelings
Different kinds of romantic feelings
Being upfront about your needs
Meeting people who have similar special interests
Getting to know people over time
Understanding different perspectives and double empathy
Managing rejection

You can contact Benjamin at: www.benjaminmeyerlcsw.com

If you would like more information about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

View Details

During this episode, author Eleanor Vincent shares some of the ups and downs she and her ex-husband experienced in their neurodiverse relationship. More specifically she addresses:

The 1st break-up, years of friendship, reuniting and then marriage;
How things changed when they moved in together;
Masking and unmasking;
Challenges with emotional reciprocity;
Using love scripts;
Communication challenges;
Short-term improvements, but not long term and consistent;
Meltdowns and shutdowns;
The impact of COVID;
Health challenges;
Change in physical and sexual Intimacy;
Patterns in an neurodiverse relationship;
Unmet needs;
Deciding to end the relationship and having no contact;
Being part of “The Lost Generation”

You can learn more about Eleanor's story in her new book: "Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage"

In addition, you can contact Eleanor at: www.eleanorvincent.com or contact Mona at: www.neurodiverselove.com

View Details

During this episode, Dr. Roianne Ahn shares some of the things she has learned through her lived experiences and in her 30 years as a therapist, coach, and researcher.

She addresses ways in which we can better understand our wounded neural pathways (and those of our partner) and give each other grace. She shares the importance of finding your North Star as a couple and how neurotoxins may be impacting you as you and your partner react to stress through a flight or fight response.

Dr. Ahn also talks about the importace of accessing your joy individually and as a couple and the value of managing a separation or divorce with grace.

You can learn about Roiann's therpay and coaching practice at www.ahnpsychology.com or you can email her at ahn@ahnpsychology.com

View Details

During this episode, Misty Schmidt, LMFT shares how she navigates the communication and culture differences in her neurodivergent family and with her neurodivergent clients. She addresses the importance of having a therapist/coach who can translate the different types of communication and understanding that one partner may be very literal/concrete and the other may be more abstract.

Misty also talks about the research she is conducting for her disseration. She is focusing on the dyamics between romantic partners who are both neurodivergent. She is also writing a book about navigating neurodiversity, which will include a variety of worksheets and tools including the "meltdown scale".

Misty also addresses the impact of living with an incorrect diagnosis and how important it is for therapists/counselors to have training regarding neurodivergent adults, as some challenges may be identified as part of a personality disorder or trauma, however they may actually be related to neurodivergence.

Unfortunately, some therapists may not understand or recognize neurovariance, sensory sensitivities and executive function differences and may think they are a trauma response and not consider neurodivergence. Explaining your internal world to a neuroaffirming therapist can help them determine what issues may be due to trauma and which may be due to neurodivergence.

Misty also talks about Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and how this may look for a neurodivergent individual and the importance of understanding it and recognizing what can be done to help reduce the impact.

You can contact Misty at: www.schmidtfamilycounseling.com

If you are looking for a neurodivergent therapist you can check out this site: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ndi-directory

In addition, if you would like to work with a coach or therapist who has expertise working with neurodiverse couples you can check out Mona's website

View Details

During this episode, Toni Borneo, a late discovered Autistic who is also the host of the "Autistic at 40" podcast shares what she has learned about Persistent Drive for Autonomy (aka Pathological Demand Avoidance).

More specifically we address the following:

Learn how this is a heightened stress reaction to anything that is out of the person's control
There is a strong desire for autonomy over "what, when and how" and being addicted to finding ways to maintain control
Why your partner may say "no" often
Fight, flight, freeze response from threats or "perceived" threats
The impact of "internalized" PDA
Masked PDA and issues around trust
Shame around PDA and secretive or sneaky behavior
Creating a no-judgment zone
The impact on executive function skills
Your body may be in hyperarousal all the time
How to get your autonomy back through equalizing with acts that are safe, boundaried and not damaging to your relationship
Reframing requests and sharing declarative statements, rather than asking questions

You can follow Toni on IG @autistic_at_40_podcast

You can also listen to her podcast "Autistic at 40" or learn more about her on-line free space at Autisthood.

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website . If you would like to buy the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or the Workbook click here.

View Details

Sex has a language all its own, and it is both spoken and unspoken. Sex with our partner and with ourselves can be fun, invigorating, a great way to unwind, how we connect to our body and to our partner.

When one or both partners are experiencing ND Burnout, sex can be overwhelming or require more energy than we have along with a few other hidden elements. When we don't know to look for some of these hidden elements in our relationship and sex life, the story we tell ourselves about why sex isn't happening like it used to, or how we aren't enjoying it the way we once did, can create a cassum between partners, along with feelings of rejection, guilt, shame and unwant.

Those reasons just aren't the case when ND Burnout is a factor and during this episode Carole Jean Whittington shares:

What ND Burnout is.
How it can look from the outside.
What it feels like on the inside.
The hidden elements of ND Burnout that impact our sex and relationship.
First step in Burnout Restoration to restart your sex life.

You can learn more about Carol Jean Whittington's book, YouTube channel, podcast and the many other resources she has available at: www.whittingtonwellbeing.com

View Details

______________________________________________________________

Dr. Bronwyn Wilson provides information on some of the significant discoveries that she made during her research. She reveals how different needs for interaction between two groups of people in neurodiverse relationships creates an unconventional relationship which introduces unique challenges for the people involved. She describes how these different needs and resulting challenges are linked to the development of an ongoing dynamic system of communication that often becomes a specific feature in these relationships. She also give details on the particular strategies that she uncovered for the potential positive outcomes in neurodiverse relationships.

To learn more about Dr. Bron's research or her books you can click here.

View Details

Neurodiverse relationships can sometimes be difficult to navigate, but if we have clear ways to both communicate and understand each other, it can be easier and more gratifying. During this episode, Lawrence Siegel, MA, CSE explores some of the things we can do to communicate more effectively about our sexual and intimate needs. Things like understanding nonverbal expression and creating shared experiences of physical pleasure, using code words to communicate in the moment, and learning how to accept our partner's lack of desire without feeling personally rejected. Hopefully, the information shared will help partners relate to how they see some of the important foundations of creating a succesful, sexually rewarding relationship.You can contact Lawrence Siegel at the Sage Institute for Family Development or at the Modern Institutes for Sex Therapy Training

View Details

In working with Neurodiverse individuals and couples it's apparent that teaching about diverse perspectives and providing a structure for solving conflict is not enough to overcome the common neurological differences. Co-creating strategies for each person to identify, regulate and communicate about their own emotional state is essential to the success of the dynamic. In a relationship, staying calm involves self-regulation, as well as co-regulation. In this episode, Robin Tate will define each of these terms. She will also talk about the potential barriers to self-regulation and strategies that help each person, as well as the team, stay calm as they work through conflict to achieve greater connection, understanding and agreement.

You can contact Robin Tate, MA, MS at: www.robintatellc.com or at robintatellc@gmail.com

View Details

Do you feel like your struggling to navigate parenting children while also being a neurodiverse couple? Kate and Clark Webb certainly do! This episode will highlight common daily parenting struggles from both the neurodivergent and neurotypical sides. Clark and Kate explore different scenarios, how each responds, and reflect on what they could have done differently. No parent is perfect, so let's embrace surviving one day at a time together!

You can contact Kate and Clark at: neurodiversecouple@gmail.com or on IG @neurodiversecouple

View Details

During this episode, Leslie Sickels, LCSW discusses how intimacy and sex are healthy, natural aspects of human relationships, yet this topic often goes unaddressed in neurodiverse couples therapy. While difficulties a nd challenges related to intimate connections are not unique to neurodiverse couples, there are core areas of neurodiversity that frequently arise and can be effectively identified, addressed, and managed in neurodiverse couples therapy. Leslie aims to normalize challenges related to intimacy and sex in neurodiverse partnerships and assist couples in identifying strategies to begin speaking more opening about these areas in couuples therapy.

You can contact Leslie Sickels at LeslieSickelsLCSW.com or at LeslieSickelsLCSW@gmail.com

View Details

If you would like to learn more about the resources available through Neurodiverse Love you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

_______________________________________________

During this episode with Natalie Roberts she will be sharing the truth she has lived and is so passionate about sharing, that the impact of unknown neurodiversity in your relationship is reversible and you can thrive...and flourish! You'll find clarity about what that impact is for you plus hope and possibility that you can be YOU again in your neurodiverse relationship!

You can contact Natalie at: natalie@natalieroberts.com or at www.natalieroberts.com

View Details

During this episode with Cheryl Rhodes, MS, LMFT, LPC you will learn more about the benefit of understanding your love languages. You've heard this term before and know that the love languages describe different ways to express and experience love. Do you know how to determine your personal love language and that of your partner? Are there Autistic or neurodivergent love languages? This episode will answer these questions and give practical suggestions for partners to give love in ways that will be best received.

You can contact Cheryl Rhodes at: myrhodesmap@gmail.com

View Details

During this episode, Michelle and Andrew Preston share the story about how they were struggling in their relationship until Michelle read a chapter in a book that made her realize Andrew may be Autistic. She approached him about and it and they were able to go through the diagnosis process together and learned that Andrew is in fact Autistic. Learning this strengthened their bond and improved their communication. It also helped Michelle take things less personally as she began to understand that Andrew's lack of emotion had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with how his mind works.

If you are interested in learning more about Michelle and Andrew's story you can buy a copy of their book: Friendship Love Autism-Communication Struggles and Autism Diagnosis That Gave Us a New Life Together.

You can follow Michelle and Andrew on TikTok@ MichelleandAndrew or email Michelle at: michellepreston@gmail.com

View Details

________________________________________________

During this episode Heather Parks busts one of the many myths that exist about neurodiverse relationships-the belief that "things will only get better if my partner changes". When we put all the responsibility for change on our partner, we can feel powerless, stuck and frustrated. But the great news is that there's a different way to create change in a relationship! And it doesn't involve coercing others to make changes or to engage with therapy! Instead, the invitation is to become more aware of our own defense modes, to focus on ourselves. It takes two to create a pattern and only one to change it! Heather shares how we are all contributing to the Relationship Defense Cycle, and how we can interrupt it so that we can have a better experience in our neurodiverse relationships.

You can contact Heather at: heather@heatherparks.co.uk or on her website at www.heatherparks.co.uk. You can also find Heather at: www.lovingdifference.net or on social media @neurodiversefamilycoach

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

_________________________________________________

During this episode Sarah (Autistic) and Larry (NT) share some of the most useful strategies they have developed for communicating and thriving together as partners, as lovers, and as parents. These are their most impactful tools for effective neurodiverse communication, which they learned "the hard way" in this journey of making love work together for the past 10+ years.

You will also gain insight into both perspectives, from an autistic point of view and a "neurotypical" point of view. What are their most frequent and most entrenched communication struggles? What are the best ways they've found to hack each other's daily communication styles, build long-lasting connection, and understand each other on a deeper level?

Sarah and Larry will also share many actionable strategies that can be adapted and applied to your own relationship, such as SOS/trigger words, high and low contexts, nonverbal cues, and reset moments. You will be both inspired and better prepared for the realities of successful communication between people who think and act so differently to each other.

You can contact the Nannery's on social media at:

www.sarahnannery.com
sarahnannery@outlook.com
IG & X (Twitter) @sarahnannery
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sarahfike
Facebook: @quirkyandbright

You can also learn more communication strategies in the Nannery's book called "What to Say Next: Successful Communication in Work, Life, and Love with Autism Spectrum Disorder"

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

During this episode Grace Myhill, MSW shares several simple but important tools that can help neurodiverse couples communicate better and have more healthy connections.

Grace is the Director of Couples and Partner's Services at AANE and the Director of the Peter M. Friedman Neurodiverse Couples Institute at AANE. You can contact Grace at www.gracemyhill.com.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Successful intimate relationships don't just happen by themselves. Building a life together requires us to solve hundreds of everyday problems that all couples encounter. Love for your partner means it's natural to go to great lengths to help them to be happy, to work with their quirks, to be understanding of their limitations, and personal struggles, but what about your own needs? Your own happiness? Are you giving so much to your partner that your're neglecting yourself? Are there areas of your life or your relationship where you feel resentful or unappreciated?

During this episode, Paul Micallef from Autism From the Inside will explore the importance of self-care and boundary setting in order to set you and your partner up for success.

To learn more about Paul Micallef's work or his amazing YouTube channel, Autism From the Insideclick here.

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

________________________________________________

Eva Mendes is an autism and ADHD specialist, couples counselor, and psychotherapist. She facilitates worshops and training at various universities, mental health and medical centers. Eva has a private practice where she works with clients from all over the world.

During this presentation, Eva talks about the critically important things that can contribute to a happy and healthy relationship. She also recently published a new book titled "Armchair Conversations on Love and Autism-Secrets of Happy Neurodiverse Couples". If you haven't had a chance to get a copy of this book I highly recommend it. I was honored to have been asked to write the foreward for the book and I know that many of you will enjoy reading how other couples are successfully navigating the ups and downs in their neurodiverse relaitonship.

You can contact Eva at: https://www.eva-mendes.com/

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Living in a neurodiverse marriage poses unique challenges. This episode includes information on how partners in marriages where one or more partners are on the spectrum can work with Drs. John and Julie Gottman's Sound Relationship House Theory-7 research-based principles for making marriage work to better their relationships. This will include brief, significant strategies partners can use to bridge their differences or build upon friendship, intimacy, and romance; manage conflict and create an even more meaningful relationship.

You can learn more about Dr. Michael McNulty at: www.chicagorelationshipcenter.com

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

When sex is an issue in a neurodiverse relationship, it often happens for both common and less common reasons. While sex can be a relationship strength and a reliable source of comfort and connection for neurodiverse relationships, when it's not, understanding why can sometimes be a challenge. In this episode, Dr. Kathy McMahon addresses both universal and neurodiverse specific sexual challeges in these relationships, including initiation and seduction, sexual give and take, pornography, and understanding sex as a "special interest".

You can contact Dr. Kathy McMahon at: www.CouplesTherapyInc.com

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Do you or have you ever, as a couple or family really thought about your values and what's important to you? What gives you purpose and meaning in life? How do you want to deal with conflict and disagreement? What is your belief system and how does it guide your decisions and behavior? Where are you going as an individual and as a team-what is your destiny? Diving into your values in a meaningful and regular way indicates that you are an intentional couple or family. It is only the intentional couple or family that sustains the storm winds of life. Stressors will come and those that are unprepared are the least likely to withstand the challenges that they bring. In this session, Dr. Lucking will discuss the XYZ system of creating values that drive behavior. This system can be used with couples or families. It's great for parenting as it's simple enough for children but practical enough for adults. Love requires effort and neurodiverse love sometimes requries even more effort. Your effort can be reduced with the right tools and theory. As Mahatma Gandhi said: "Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny."

You can contact Dr. Lucking at: www.SiliconValleyTherapy.co

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

The topics addressed during this episode are:

The challenge of discerning "wanting to" vs "wanting to want to". The former leads to action, the latter doesn't go anywhere.
How to present what's verbally expressed as "important" compared to the actions that "show" what's important.
What are the challenges or expectations for the NT partners to know?
What is a challenge or observation for the Autistic partner?
Keys of growth and health: individual work, humility and teachability.

To learn more about the work Stephanie and Dan do to help ND couples you can check out their website at:

www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Reactivity wreaks havoc in Neurodiverse partnerships. It is implicated in the breakdown of connection, communication and skillful conflict and gets in the way of efforts to recover despite both partner's desires and intentions. Jill discusses the role of reactivity and pathways to change your relationship with it.

You can learn more about Jill's work at:

www.jillcorvelli.com or www.ndpartnerscompass.com

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Discover the 4 stage communication method that provides neurodiverse couples with the insights and tools to bridge the communication gap that exists in mixed neurotype relationships. This solution-focused method provides what traditional therapies have never done. Designed specifically to help partners understand the root causes of their misunderstanding and confusion, this method provides implementable tools for clarification of meaning and for updating relationship narratives while attending to each partner/s unique preferences and needs.

To learn about the services and resources Jodi Carlton provides you can check out her website at: www.jodicarlton.com

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Through the lens of neurodiversity, a movement to de-pathologize atypical neurological wiring, we will look at the application of IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy) to working with mixed neurology couples-effectively "looking under the hood" of what is happening for couples when they don't get along. A case example is discussed.

You can contact Kim at: www.kimbolling.com

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/support

View Details

Just about everyone in a neurologically mixed relationship is confused about their partner's behavior and is often quick to assign motive. Instead, Joe Biel and Faith Harper offer tools to step back, listen, take care of yourself, and learn how to attack challenges as a team. You can learn more about Joe at: joebiel.net

You can contact Dr. Faith at: www.faithharper.com

View Details

To learn more about the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love.

If you would like register for the 4 week workshop series that Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. and Sarah Swenson, LMHC will be co-facilitating titled " How Can I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together" that begins on July 9th, 2024 at 7:30pm EST click here.

_________________________________________________

During this episode, Margot Alexis and Chelle share information about the long-term effects of Cassandra syndrome. Many NT women endure chronic isolation, anxiety and depression. Others have difficulty sleeping, digestive disorders and serious autoimmune diseases. Some exhibit persistent anger, severe resentment and feel helpless to change the situation. Almost all will experience a loss of self.

In this episode, Margot and Chelle discuss what Cassandra Syndrome is, it’s effects and how you can heal from it. They also share information on the following topics:

Why NT women have a difficult time getting support from friends and family?
The first step in recovery.
What healthy emotional detachment looks like.
How letting go is different than giving up.
The support that is available,

To learn more about Margot and Chelle please check out: www.healingcassandra.com

View Details

If you would like to register for the 4 week workshop series titled " "How Can I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together", with Sarah Swenson, LMHC and Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. ⁠click here.

The 4 communication styles are:

Purposeful
Captivator
Listener
Facter

To learn more about Ali and the work she does, please check out her website at: https://www.connection-squared.com/

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships click here._________________________________________________Although the global awareness of autism continues to show signs of growth, little empirical research has been done on the way in which neurodiversity impacts romantic relationships. The existing body of knowledge points at a severe state of distress in women who are in couple relationships with men on the autism spectrum. However, the literature is mainly based on personal accounts of these women, in many cases, without their partner being formally diagnosed. Most professionals aren’t trained or lack the experience to recognize or diagnose ASD in adults. Hence, they fail to provide efficient help for neurodiverse couples and women in neurodiverse relationships. Aiming to raise the awareness, change the existing situation and help these women and couples, Dr. Pnina Arad conducted an extensive quantitative study about the physical and mental well-being of women in neurodiverse relationships. During this episode she describes her research, shares the findings, and discusses the conclusions and implications of her study results.To learn more about Dr. Pnina Arad, please check out her website.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

_________________________________________________

Professor Tony Attwood and Dr, Michelle Garnett have learned through their many years of clinical experience that there are some unique challenges to being in a love relationship as a female autistic partner, and yet much of the literature on relationships where one partner is autistic focuses on the male autistic/female neurotypical experience. In this session, they both describe some of the experiences they have discovered to be challenging for autistic women in love relationships, and give some ideas about how to manage these challenges. This session will be helpful to both autistic women and their partners. If you would like to learn more about the workshops and resources that Tony and Michelle have available, please check out their website.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To understand yourself, your partner and your neurodiverse relationship better, invest in the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, Workbook, and the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos. In addition, check out the other resources available to help you find guidance as you move forward on your Neurodiverse Love journey. ———————————————————————During this session from the Neurodiverse Love Conference, Dr. Harry Motro shares how "Trauma Informed Neurodiverse Couples Therapy" can help create a path to lasting healing.

When one or both partners has been traumatized by relationship patterns that are rooted in their neuro-differences, the partners must overcome two distinct challenges:

Heal the trauma, and2. Understand and build bridges across the neurological differences.

Unfortunately, most approaches to Neurodiverse couples counseling do not adequately address the trauma. As a result, couples get stuck in trauma-fed reactive behaviors that keep them stuck.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To help you and your partner better understand each other, you can buy the digital download of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards for $11 or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook for $12.97

_________________________________________________

During this solo episode, Mona shares how she has rebuilt her self-worth and self esteem and healed emotionally, mentally and physically since her divorce 6 years ago. Other topics addressed include:

Looking back I am able to get a clear understanding of what brought me the peace and joy I have today.
Whether you stay in your current relationship or go please know that we all deserve joy and peace!!!
You can’t change the past, but you can understand it to change the narrative or story you tell yourself and this helps improve life in the present and the future.
We all are doing the best we can in the moment and when we know better we CAN do better!!! (Maya Angelou)
Understand what is changeable, focus on your side of the street, take action towards thriving!!!
Feel it, visualize it and see yourself taking the action steps to move forward on making the changes you want to create to have the life you want!
Emotional death by a thousand papercuts occurs because you don’t understand your own or each other’s neurotypes, childhood wounds or vulnerabilities. You wish your partner could change and do things more like you do and you are both unintentionally hurting and triggering each other…your nervous systems are continuously dysregulated and you may find yourself in a state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn often.
Mourning, grief and disbelief that our marriage was ending after 30 years, yet we still loved each other!!!
Resentment, anger and regret.
Anxiety, depression, despair.
Feeling all the feels and having a support system that could hold me close and love me through some of the most emotional and lowest points in my life.
Working on my mental health, finding a good therapist, listening to podcasts and reading books, walking, spending time outside in the sun and at the beach.
Reconnecting with the things I loved when I was younger, that I was no longer including in my life.
Getting clear about my own needs, wants, desires, and non-negotiables.
Practicing self-care and saying no to things that no longer mattered to me and saying "fuck yes" to the things that I was most passionate about or that brought me peace.
Rebuilding my self esteem and self-worth, and then putting myself out there again to start dating.
Eating healthy and exercising.
Getting clear about my dreams and taking steps to move forward on making them a reality… asking myself “will I regret this if I don’t do it?”
Having and communicating healthy boundaries in every relationship in my life which included work, friends, family and dating.
Tapping into my life purpose and moving forward to making that a reality.
Being kind and patient with myself, and fully accepting what I needed to heal and grow.
Forgiveness, healing somatically and spiritually and finally, knowing that other peoples opinions of me is none of my business, and is oftentimes a reflection of their own unhealed trauma or pain.
You can’t do the work for two people!!!
Own your truth!
Let old patterns die!!!
Celebrating freedom from unintentional hurt and pain…healing, growth and living an aligned life.
Saying goodbye to the old version of me and embracing my authentic self.
Radical acceptance and responsibility for living my truth!
Understanding my own neurotype, my wants, needs, desires, values and preferences.
Knowing that I deserve to live my best, most authentic life!!!!

______________

To keep up-to-date on all the resources available through Neurodiverse Love you can subscribe to Mona's newsletter at: https://www.neurodiverselove.com/newsletter-signup
Follow Mona on Instagram: @neurodiverse_love
Check out her website: www.neurodiverselove.com
If you want to contact Mona you can email her at: Neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you are interested in learning more about the resources Mona has available for neurodiverse couples, or individuals in a neurodiverse relationship, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

_________________________________________________

During this episode with Dr. Ali Cunningham Abbott, LMHC we talk about the self-discovery process for neurodivergent individuals and why it is critical for therapists, health care professionals and educators to have more knowledge and training about neurodiversity. Other topics addressed include:

Ali's work at the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities (CARD) at Florida Atlantic University (FAU).
Combatting assumptions about autism and romantic relationships.
Counselors need to have the competencies to work with neurodivergent individuals or neurodiverse couples.
Understanding the self-identification and self-discovery options and process.
Knowing if it’s necessary to get a formal diagnosis.
Using free assessment tools may be helpful (ie: Autism Quotient; Social Responsiveness Scale).
Go to www.embraceautism.com for a lot of free assessment tools.
Understand your Sensory Profile.
Hypo and Hyper social motivation.
Understanding autism across the lifespan, for all genders, for different races and the diversity in sexuality identities.
Autism representation in the media and stereotypes.
Feeling alien or not belonging and getting a diagnosis or self-identification as an adult.
Grieving what could have been because of unknown autism.
Using strengths and assets to help individuals thrive.
Project F.I.N.D. (Females in Need of Diagnosis).
Making higher educational training more autism friendly.

Ali is the Program Director for the Counseling Program at Lynn University and she has created an “Interest Network” at the Southern Association for Counselors Educators and Supervisors.

If you would like to buy Ali's book the title is: Counseling Adults with Autism; A Comprehensive Toolkit.
The title of Steph Jones book is: The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy.
You can contact Ali at Lynn University or on LinkedIn

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you are looking for more resources on neurodiverse relationships you can check out Mona's website: www.neurodiverselove.com

_________________________________________________

During this episode with Dr. Laura Hull you will learn more about the development of the CAT-Q tool (Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire) and the impact of camouflaging/masking.

Other topics discussed include:

Shame is thinking that you are worthless.
Desperation is being willing to do anything to make someone believe you, or hear you.
Grandiosity is when you think others are not as smart and worthy as you are.
Resignation and withdrawal focus on feeling like you are the one who is not tuning into your partner and that you may be broken.
Controlling may include asking your partner ”What is wrong with you? I’m always taking care of everything”.
Work on boundaries becoming less rigid or porous.
Both partners need to look at how they can communicate and function in a more healthy way.
Determine how you can each change your patterns and become more resilient.
In RLT the client is "the patterns" that get each couple stuck.
There are 8 lenses that are used to assess each client/couple:
1) Presenting problem
2) Preconditions
3) The blatant latent
4) The losing strategies (there are 5 of these)
5) The stance, stance, stance
6) The Relationship Grid
7) Family of origin
8) Socio-cultural
Understanding that the grieving process may be different for each partner and it’s important to acknowledge their markers of resilience.
It is important to accept limitations in each other and grieve what each partner had expected and accept the reality of "what is" moving forward.
Let go without resentment. If the resentment continues then you haven’t done the grief work.
Focus on doing "relational mindfulness" and be more yielding and generous.
Relational reckoning.

For more information on Relational Life Therapy, Caron recommends the books “The New Rules of Marriage” and “Us” by Terry Real.

If you would like to learn more about Caron's therapy practice and the groups she offers, please check out her website at: www.starobincounseling.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with Dr. Nan Wise, who is a neuroscientist, sex therapist, and relationship counselor you will learn how to better understand yourself and your partner and how you can each regulate your nervous systems.

In addition, other topics that are addressed include:

Learning how to radically accept where you are as an individual and a couple.
Understand the core emotional systems: seeking system; care system; play system; lust system.
Defensive systems: fear system; rage system; panic/grief/sadness.
Understanding core differences between you and your partner and different ways of handling emotions.
Build bridges between the differences.
Most people argue over “matters of opinion”.
Get the understandable part of your differences and maintain a nonjudgmental attitude.
The negative impact of not learning how to take an effective stance for what you “need and want” in your relationship.
Learn how to ask for what you want and need “like a calm broken record”.
We need to learn how to regulate ourselves and shift out of flight, fight, or freeze mode.
Elongating exhalation-make the exhale longer then the inhale and this will help rebalance our core emotions out of a defense system.
Calming our nervous system to co-regulate with our partner.
Learn how to tune into the body channel.
Everyone feels their embodied emotions. Learn how to pay attention to the core sensations in your body.
Understanding cognitively infused emotions.
The importance of changing patterns to feel safe in our relationships because we’re not understanding each other.
Learn how to move from disconnection to connection by syncing your breath to entrain.
Eye contact, listening to a partners voice or speaking in a calm way can help with co-regulation and promote connection.
The benefit of heart coherence and giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and not assuming.
Learning how to do deep/active listening and “take a session”. The listener says “What I hear you saying is_____. Is that correct? Is there more?”
We “project” onto each other and may not understand that we are doing that.
There are different kinds of marriages and the most challenging times can be when we have children and when the children leave home.
How can you create a “sustainable” relationship?
Relationships break down because they’re pointing out to us how we need to grow as human beings.
Give yourself and your partner the benefit of the doubt, learn how to reset your nervous system, and take 100% responsibility for what “you” are creating in your relationship.

You can contact Dr. Nan Wise at www.askdoctornan.comYou may also want to buy her awesome book titled: "Why Good Sex Matters-Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier and a More Purpose Filled Life".

(Book/workbook by Brent Atkinson that Dr. Nan Wise mentioned in the podcast is "Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships ".)

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Judy Singer shares about her family story, her marriage, and her thesis that was the "groundbreaking sociology thesis that prefigured the last great liberation movement to emerge from the 20th century". In her book: "Neurodiversity-The Birth of an Idea" Judy states, “The internet is the prosthetic device that binds isolated socially unskilled autistics into a collective social organism capable of having a public voice.” Some of the other topics dicussed are:

Judy's work in disability studies.
Her research at the local library to better understand her mother.
Her relationship and experiences with her neurodivergent mother and her neurodivergent ex-husband.
Judy facilitated one of the first support groups for adult children of autistic parents. She called them "daughters of engineers".
Challenges at job interviews before understanding her neurodivergence.
Not being able to maintain eye contact at work.
Different parts that come out in different circumstances.
Worked in computer programming and hated it!
She systematizes information about people and that is why she is a sociologist.
After 8 years on the waiting list for public housing she got a subsidized apartment and then was able to return to college.
Consider what neurodiversity means to each individual and understand each other’s traits and accommodate each other.

You can contact Judy at: Neurodiversity2.blogspot.com

To learn more about Judy's groundbreaking thesis you can buy her book: NeuroDiversity-The Birth of An Idea.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To learn more about some of the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com___________________________________________________________________

During this episode with Sue Hutton and Jan Wozniak you will learn about the work they are doing in their mindfulness program for Autistic adults. In addition, Sue will share a mindfulness exercise that is used in the program they offer. Other topics discussed include the following:

Mindfulness helps you understand yourself from the inside out.
Applying ancient teachings to current issues.
Adapting Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Autistic Adults.
Mindfulness practices can help if you are feeling overwhelmed in social or sensory situations, or lost in daily life.
Mindfulness can also help you increase self compassion.
Current therapies may not address the challenges with overstimulation.
Co-regulation and reciprocity of energy.
In neurodiverse relationships there is a diversity of nervous systems, but partners may not understand the differences.
Rigid, ableist protocol may be very difficult for ND individuals.
"Mindfulness based stress reduction" curriculum has been modified to be compatible for ND folks and to be congruent with ND nervous systems.
Curriculum includes compassion and movement practices.
How to be able to cultivate self awareness when you’re alexithymic.
Mindfulness can help you connect with the things that might be difficult to access and accept that some things may be a challenge.
Learn how to show yourself some kindness and self compassion.
Mindfulness can also help with reducing sensory overload.
Learning how to calm down your sympathetic response to feel more confidence, safety and control.
Jan shares some of the complexities of his mixed neurotype relationship.
How moving in together impacted his relationship.
Understanding their different social needs and the importance of self regulation.
Important to have a partner that is open to effective and ongoing communication.
Honoring your needs is very important in a mixed neurotype relationship, as it can help prevent overload or overwhelm.
Relationship as practice (Ram Dass).
Learn about yourself in your relationship through a journey of self discovery, humility, understanding your sensory and social needs, patience, acceptance, and love.
Reflect before you react.
Try new practices together.

The facility that Sue and Jan work with is the Azrieli Adult Neurodevelopmental Centre, Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)-Toronto, Canada

You can contact Jan at: Jan.wozniak@camh.ca or https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/jan-a-wozniak-toronto-on/1252465
You can contact Sue Hutton at: https://www.suehuttonmindfulness.comFor more information on expressing your needs check out this short video from the Gottman Institute:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EfcVKBhIjIo

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to learn more about the resources available through Neurodiverse Love, including the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, please go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

_________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona has a great conversation with Donna Henderson, Sarah Wayland and Jamell White, the authors of "Is This Autism-A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else" and "Is This Autism-A Companion Guide for Diagnosing". The topics addressed include:

The value of explicit, direct communication.
Making assumptions that may not be true.
Misinterpretation during communication.
Understanding high and low context.
Taking things personally or judging your partner.
Being held accountable for something you didn’t say but may have been inferred.
Be curious when you feel yourself getting triggered.
Be aware of the amount of time you need to transition from work to conversation.
Get engagement first and then start communicating.
May have different fundamental needs around communication.
Needing voice inflection to understand meaning.
Flat affect or tone of voice may be received incorrectly.
Needing to process things out loud- vs- alone.
How can you each get your needs met without overpowering or neglecting the other?
Understand if your partner needs more processing time during a conversation.
Understand what leads to flooding or shutdown during conversations.
Understand when you’re hyperverbal you may be flooding your partner.
Asking your partner for what you need at the beginning of a conversation.
Understanding that you and your partner may define words differently.
Accepting that there are differences that may not be changeable.
Not having time awareness can create challenges and your partner may need transition reminders.
When frustrations are festering because you haven’t communicated explicitly what you need.
One person should not have all the burden of change.
What are the top 3 things that are challenges in your relationship?
Learning how to regulate your nervous system before engaging in a conversation with your partner.
There are different ways of connecting and we need to understand each other’s needs.
Sharing activities may be a great way for you to connect with your partner or family member.
What was your partner’s family’s communication style?
Understanding that fear in communication can create challenges.
People are usually doing the best they can with what they have.
Just ask!!!
See things through a curiosity lens.

You can contact Jamell White at: drjamellwhite@gmail.com

You can contact Donna Henderson at: www.drdonnahenderson.com

You can contact Sarah Wayland at: www.guidingexceptionalparents.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to learn about the support groups and other resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

_________________________________________________

During this episode with AuDHD'er Scott Simpon, we talk about the impact of unknown neurodivergence and how important understanding yourself and your needs can be to help lead you to a path that includes forgiveness and healing. Other topics addressed include:

Past relationships had a similar pattern.
Would freeze when emotions came up.
Trying to do things right long enough so that things would be okay.
Feeling resentment from your partner, but not knowing what to do with it.
Not knowing what your partner needs.
Being confused and not planning ahead.
Working on masking full time, but not knowing what that really meant.
Things you say under pressure.
Sucking at hard conversations.
Routines while living together.
Wife was a social worker.
He had a fling.
Seeking porn.
Being willing to do whatever it takes, but not knowing what to do.
Started therapy to address some issues that came up in his relationship.
Didn’t want to marry someone who didn’t believe in him.
Try focusing on the positives, rather than the challenges and differences.
Expectations that there is only one way to do things and we want our partner to do it our way,
Focus on the solvable problems.
When you feel that you can’t talk about issues.
The big proposal at Times Square in NYC.
Time blindness.
Waffling on decisions until pushed
Wife had treatment resistant depression.
Walking on eggshells.
Feeling like you can’t meet your partner’s expectations.
Thinking feelings, rather than feeling them and alexythymia.
Didn’t know if he would be a good dad.
During childbirth they found out his wife had cancer.
In-laws moved in and it changed everything and he wasn’t prepared for the changes.
Wife was planning to divorce him after the baby was born. She felt he had no empathy and couldn’t be a supportive husband.
Feeling like he was set up for failure.
Wife screamed at him..."There is something wrong with you!” …and she resented him.
Everything he was doing was seen as an attack or a failure.
The contempt has to stop.
Wife had gone outside of their marriage to get some of her needs met.
Deprived each other of so much love and joy.
We can’t change the past.
Felt like he lost half his brain when his wife died.
Started learning about challenges with executive function and ADHD.
ADHD didn’t answer all the questions and then learned about autism.
Understanding neurodivergence helped burn off some of the trauma and shame.
Son is gifted and might also be Autistic.
“Unknown”neurodivergence throughout the family tree.
Understanding each other’s neurotype within the family.
Accepting your strengths, challenges, and differences and those of your friends and creating a supportive tribe.
Thinking that there is only one way to be.
Resented people who were their authentic selves.
Always learning and growing.
An experiential learner, who doesn’t learn from experience!
Learning how to ask for what you need.
Find the sandbox where you can talk about things safely…it lets so much happen.
"Expecting" consistency may create challenges.
Attribution of intention that is not correct.
Learn how to forgive yourself…and start with your younger self.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Dr. Katie Fields, LMHC, LMFT shares how the work she does through "CounSouling" weaves together her background in both mental health counseling and spiritual practices to help you better understand your ego and your soul, so that you become your most authentic Self. Other topics addressed include: The therapeutic model called Internal Family Systems (IFS) uses the premise that we all are multi-dimensional personalities. We have protective parts, parts that are managers and some that take on our burdens and vulnerabilities and then we have our most authentic “Self”. Traditional mental health therapy usually focuses on ego. Ego is our “persona suit” that helps us be in control of ourselves. Being ego focused may actually be when neurodivergent folks “mask or camouflage”. Ego can create masking behaviors to protect us. Being comfortable with our authentic voice can help us get more in touch with our Soul/Self. You may realize how hard you’ve been working to survive your day to day interactions. Grieving the old you as you transition to become more of your authentic self. Total wellness is possible! Letting go of what no longer serves you…including some relationships. Shifting your energy may involve setting boundaries and respectfully sharing your needs. This can be healing for you and scary for others who may not be ready to, or want to, heal. You’re the only person who is going to be with you for the entirety of your life…make yourself a priority! The Enneagram is a 9 type personality tool that helps you see yourself. First reflection will show you your ego, however it is a spiritual tool that helps you get back to your true Self. We want to feel safe and protected. The ego is very adaptive and wants to protect us. There are ways to get in touch with what brings us joy! Taking radical responsibility for the life you want. Helping you get back on track. Numerology can be a tool that can help us understand more of our “user manual”. Energetic patterns can help you learn lessons. In numerology you will get four different numbers from your name that can help you understand more about yourself. Your integrated self is all the numbers in the layers in your name. When you are becoming integrated this is when your ego and soul are besties. Soul number is just the vowels in your name. Personality number is the consonants in your name and is your ego and how you show up. Your birth date is your “Life path”…the main lessons you are here to learn. To learn more about Katie’s work or to get a free sample reading you can check out her website at: http://www.fearlesscounsouling.com--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to learn more about Mona's support groups, workshops or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workboook you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com_________________________________________________During this episode, Mona has a fantastic conversation with psychologist and author, Jasmine Loo, who is in Melbourne, Australia. Jasmine is the author of the book: "Nurturing Neurodivergence-The Late Identified Adults' Guide to Building Healthy Relationships With Self and Others". The topics discussed include: Vulnerability of neurodivergents in relationships. How difficulties in perspective taking can impact how we think others see the world and lead to relational trauma. How trusting can lead to trauma. Understanding healthy vs unhealthy relationships. Explicit learning may be useful. Needing a role model for healthy relationships. May have cognitive knowledge about many things, but may not be able to apply it. Having the memory, but having a gap applying the information in the future. Temporal myopia. Emotional distance from a painful memory can create a disconnect with emotional urgency and relevance. Toxic relationships may start out good. Gaslighting-makes you question your own sanity. Emotional and psychological abuse. Nuanced elements of relationships. Some cultures glorify certain behaviors that are not healthy. In the media, healthy relationship patterns may be seen as boring. Understanding your strengths and challenges and being able to ask for help when you need it. It may be hard to believe in your strengths, if you’ve been told how bad you are throughout your life. Traits are not inherently good or bad, however it is important to view them in different contexts. Understanding what can change or can’t between different neurotypes. Sensory overload will impact your response or reaction. Being in self protection mode. Knowledge is power. Self understanding and self acceptance go hand in hand. Learn how to fight in healthy ways. Open communication during sensory or emotional overload may lead to meltdown or shutdown. You can’t clap with one hand, so both partners need to understand each other. Understanding when you or your partners nervous system is dysregulated. Do not be afraid to hit “pause” in a conversation with your partner. Alexithymia-struggling for your brain to register cues from your body. Looking like you are going from 0-100 very quickly and understanding your body’s cues. Having an individual and a relationship sensory toolbox can help you re-regulate yourself and co-regulate with your partner. Understanding when we humanize ourselves it doesn’t have to dehumanize someone else. What you each need to feel safe in your relationships. “All emotions are okay although not all behaviors are.” Emotions don’t have to dictate behavior. Anger is not our enemy, it is trying to tell us something. The sticky brain and obsessionality-random thoughts or words that may get stuck in our heads. Can make it harder for ND people to move on. Learn to accept and understand the signs and doing “acceptance” work can help move out of “sticky brain” mode. Physical activity can ground you to the present.You can contact Jasmine through her psychology website: www.jasmineloopsychology.com or her author website: www.jasmine-loo.com--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To learn more about the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, support groups and other resources Mona has available check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

__________________________________________________

During this conversation with Damla we explore how autism and narcissist traits can co-exist. The topics we discuss include:

Love bombing.
Denial of neurodivergence.
Very direct communication.
Routines with housekeeping and meals.
Spending money on things that made his life easier. Seemed not to care about finances.
Did not have many friends.
Not taking responsibility for the impact of his behavior.
Cultural differences.
Understanding which behaviors are toxic.
Adjusted her life to fit into his life and routine.
Feeling exhausted and started to implement boundaries.
Relationship began to change after boundaries were being set.
Everything had to be his way and he stopped being loving and kind.
Understanding when gaslighting was occurring.
Not taking responsibility for any of his behavior.
Not feeling bad or sad when you hurt someone you care about.
The importance of focusing on people’s behavior and not ignoring when actions are toxic.
Pay attention when someone doesn’t apologize or take responsibility for their behavior.

If you would like to reach out to Damla you can follow her on IG @discoverneurodiversity

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Mona and Greg are co-facilitating a mixed neurotype support group on the 3rd Friday of each month, from 12:30-2pm EST. This is a "drop-in" group for individuals (not couples) and you can attend as often as you want, but space is limited.

Everyone who registers for the April or May support group will receive a free digital download of the Neurodiverse Love Cards and the Neurodiverse Love Card Workbook ($23.97 value)The cost is ONLY $25 per session and if you would like to register for the support group click here.

__________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona Kay and Greg Fuqua talk about repair after conflict and employment challenges. In addition, other topics discussed include:

Repairing major ruptures.
Being uncomfortable facing your failures
RSD-rejection sensitivity dysphoria.
Book by John and Julie Gottman called “Fight Right.
Based on the Gottman’s research: 69% of our problems are perpetual and 31% of our problems are solvable.
Traumas and values may impact repeated conflict.
Self blindness may contribute to not wanting to go too deep with conflict.
Understanding cognitive style, triggers, and attachment styles is important.
How alexythymia can impact conflict and conflict resolution.
Is your conflict gridlocked?
6 questions to consider asking each other after a conflict: 1) What do you believe about this issue that you’re fighting about? Do you have some values, ethics or beliefs that relate to your position on this issue?: 2) Does your position on this conflict relate to your history or childhood in some way?: 3) Why is your position on this issue Important to you?: 4) What are your feelings about this issue? (If one of you has Alexythymia you may need more time and space to think about the response to this question).: 5) What is your ideal dream here? If you could waive a magic wand and have exactly what you want what would that look like?: 6) Is there some underlying purpose or goal for you and what is it?
Having a curiosity mindset when working together to repair a rupture is very important.
Aphantasia-having a hard time creating an imaginative state.
Ability to compromise and honor your partners needs.
When working on repair after conflict creating a bridge with your partner is helpful.
Using reflective statements can also be helpful.
Value each others perspective even when you’re not aligned.
Understanding each other’s hardware and software.
Neurodivergence in family of origin and not knowing this when you were younger.
Having a growth mindset.
Turn taking, slowing down and taking time to listen to your partner is critical.
Challenges working to your potential and staying on a career path that will lead to financial success.
The importance of boundaries.
There may be some challenges in maintaining employment because the neurodivergent partner needs accommodations at work but doesn’t ask for them or understand what they need.
The autistic partner may have a black and white narrative about themselves and the world.
Selling your soul in employment may lead to depression.
Capacity and work schedule need to be discussed.
Autistics can have very spiky skillsets.
Where is the culture and job situation that fits you?
Working hard at the beginning of new employment and not being able to keep up that pace can lead to burnout.
Challenges in employment can deeply impact your self worth and identity.
The possibility of being parentified.
Take inventory of all you’ve achieved as well as the things you’ve overcome.
What if our partners are a source for our healing?

You can contact Mona at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or at www.neurodiverselove.com.

You can contact Greg at gfuqua70@gmail.com or at www.gregfuqua.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with Dr. Jessie Mahoney, we talk about how we can change the stories we tell ourselves, retrain our nervous system and create more mindful practices that can help us improve our lives. In addition, we address the following topics: Choosing to change yourself can create shifts in your relationship. Understanding the griefor depression each of you may feel and understanding. Getting clear about things out of your control that can’t be changed. Retraining our own nervous system first. Parasympathetic nervous system is focused on rest and digest. Sympathetic nervous system is running from the tiger. We can feel bewildered and respond or react at different speeds. In adrenal depletion we just react and are not pausing. Fight or flight response releases cortisol. Self compassion releases dopamine and oxytocin which feels good. Learn different breathing practices to see what works for you. This can help you be less reactive. Restorative yoga can be very helpful. We have held onto stories that may be misinterpretations. How can we create positive stories and remember the things you fell in love with and focus on how you’re the same. Understand your neurodiverse relationship is going to look different than other relationships. Create a positive story about the way your partner shows you love. Reframing stories can be so helpful. Tell the story that we’re both doing the best we can. Judge the effort, not just the outcome! Change the way you think and then determine if you need to make a change. Determine what your non-negotiables are and after doing that you may realize that you are no longer compatible. When you’re in a state of constant frustration you can’t be fully invested. Focus on both of your individual strengths. What is your partner good at that you don’t like and vice versa? Generosity of thinking and assuming good intent can help you get out of a tug of war with your partner. Create a toolbox for moving through the world more smoothly. Mindfulness is acceptance (even if you don’t like what is happening). You can have acceptance and still be angry or have other feelings and this can empowering. What you practice grows. Be patient with yourself and wour partners. Our partners may have a different nervous system pace. Allow yourself and your partner to be angry. Accepting and not liking and still listening is so important. 69% of our problems in our relationships are perpetual and 31% are solvable. Ask yourself-“What would love do?” You don’t always have to understand. Self compassion is a life raft.Learn more about Jessie's work at her website: www.jessiemahoneymd.comJessie's free yoga classes are available on YouTube at Mindful Yoga for Healers Listen to Jessie's podcast- Mindful Healers here. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

On the 3rd Friday of the month from 12:30-2pm EST, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay will be co-facilitating a mixed neurotype support group for individuals (not couples). This is a "drop-in" support group, so you can attend whenever you want, however spots are limited. The cost is ONLY $25 per session and you can click here to register. If you have any questions about the support group, please email Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

In addition, if you would like to buy access to the Communication Workshop that Mona and Greg co-facilitated and the workbook that was created for the workshop you can click here.

__________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona Kay and Greg Fuqua talk about unidentified autism, monotropism and persistent demand for autonomy. Each of these topics is discussed in detail and some of the issues addressed are:

Gaps in identity and not knowing how you’re perceived.
What does it mean to be autistic?
Understanding your neurodivergence can be life changing and empowering.
How do you look at your relationship through a new lens when you know you’re a neurodiverse couple?
When you don’t understand your communication differences, emotional needs, socializing differences and then you discover you’re a neurodiverse couple.
Knowing the why behind why you’re having challenges as a couple.
The stigma around autism can make the discussion challenging.
Lead with love and curiosity.
Ask yourself why it's so important for your partner to receive a diagnosis when they are unidentified?
It may be helpful to talk about autistic traits or neurodivergence.
Both partners need to be growing and become more self aware. But you may be growing at different speeds.
Look at the different options ND couples can consider in their relationship. Creative solutions are okay.
Our journey’s can look very different.
Know your boundaries.
Monotropism-a persons tendency to focus their attention on a small number of things.
Lends itself to intense experiences, deep thinking and flow states.
Can contribute to context blindness.
Autistic inertia.
Validate and support your partner’s passions and self interests and negotiate how they can shift when needed.
Capacity and stress may contribute to more monotropism.
Welcome the questions your partner asks when you talk about your passion or special interests.
It feels good and calms your nervous system when you know your partner has heard and understood you.
Processing preferences and needs.
Persistent Demand for Autonomy (PDA).
Being flexible regarding decision making.
Not understanding lack of follow through. Losing trust and respect for your partner.
Using affirmation instead of making a request for more demands.
Talking about intent and process is so important.
Making your partner feel good about themselves rather than demanding something.
Are you assuming your partner has positive or good intent?

If you would like to contact Greg you can email him at:

GFuqua70@gmail.com or check out his website at: www.Gregfuqua.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this epsisode with Dr. Grace Malonai we talk about PDA, sensory sensitivities and sex, hygiene issues, and masking and unmasking. In addition, we address the following topics: Understanding PDA by looking at trauma and the trauma response to take care of ourselves. May have developed a protective mechanism and a way to manage it. Avoiding things that will elicit a similar response or experience. Impact of challenges that happen during different developmental windows. Noticing the change in your behaviors and then breaking things down into small little steps. Bring your adult self back to a childhood memory using “parts” work. Hygiene issues and struggles you or your partner may have. Addressing possible sensory issues. Ways to develop work arounds. Sensory sensitivities and sex. Communicate about your sensory sensitivities and practice what feels good and understand what doesn’t feel good. LGBTQI+ and neurodivergence. Interest in kink and the benefits of having more rules and implicit trust. Neurodivergent folks may have to go through lots of self exploration. Masking and Unmasking-understanding when you developed the masks. Trauma masks may be the ones that many people want to release. Some masks may be helpful to be able to function in certain circumstances. Do you know when you started to feel overwhelmed having to mask? Which masks hurt and take so much energy? Using masks to protect yourself. Get to know your mask as another part of you. What kind of stims are going to help you after you mask all day? Understanding each others values and discussing which values are supportive of each other and which are in conflict?l Falling in love with someone’s mask and then determining if you can love the person under the mask? Every person deserves to love and value who they are! It’s okay to slow down and get to know who you are. Take time to heal!You can contact Dr. Grace through her website: www.therathrive.com or by calling her practice at: 1-888-777-2915To learn more about the support groups and other resources that Mona has available check out her website: www.neurodiverselove.com--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to buy the digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) click here.
If you would like to buy the Neurodiveres Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) click here.
To buy access to the recording of the Communication Workshop that Mona and Greg co-facilitated and the workshop workbook for ONLY $97 click here.
The mixed neurotype support group that Mona and Greg will be co-facilitating will be held on the 3rd Friday of the month and begins meeting on 4/19/24 at 12:30pm EST. The group is for individuals (not couples) who are currently in a Neurodiverse Love Relationship. The cost is ONLY $25 per session. To register ⁠click here.⁠

During this episode, Mona Kay and Greg Fuqua talk about the disconnection and misunderstanding that neurodiverse couples may be experiencing around sex and physical intimacy. They also share ways in which understanding and connection can be improved. Other topics discussed include:

Sex as a special interest.
The importance of understanding how you prefer to show love and how you want love to be shown to you.
Finding healthy sources for information about sex.
Attending to other people’s needs to be accepted.
Struggling with connections with your body.
Being objectified.
Being able to separate the emotion from sex.
Social anxiety about what’s expected.
Getting information from porn.
Having a curiosity lens.
Being hyper-sexual can be a form of self regulation.
Alcohol can be used to help reduce intimacy issues.
Sexual routines may be used to help pleasure your partner and sometimes this may feel robotic.
It is easier to navigate sex when you have structures and know what works.
Understanding sexual diversity.
You learn by reflecting on experience…debrief with your partner.
Passive vs active touch.
Feeling rejected.
Breaching physical boundaries when not ready or prepared.
Being ready when our partner wants to connect.
Sensory issues that we may not understand.
Asking before engaging in physical touch.
Cuddling may be overwhelming or overstimulating.
Practice platonic cuddling and touching.
Eye contact during intimacy can be overwhelming.
Alexythymia may impact what you feel, want and need.
Shame can create an emotionally unsafe situation.
The importance of understanding each other’s sensory sensitivities and limits.
Sensory overwhelm and having to meet the needs of your partner may reduce sexual intimacy.
Engaging in masturbation and watching porn, but not being sexual with your partner.
Scheduling sex may help the ND partner to prepare. Prevents initiation and rejection issues which could lead to rejection sensitivity.
Address disparity of needs and interests.
Remembering when intimacy was working well.
Bridges of understanding and taking turns.
Not understanding social cues and sexual abuse.
Relational trauma.
Understanding and addressing shame.

You can contact Greg Fuqua at : Gfuqua70@gmail.com or check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Mona's next Neurodiverse Couples Support Group begins in April. The group meets for 4 weeks from 7:30-9pm EST on 4/11, 4/18, 4/25 & 5/2. The investment is ONLY $199 per couple and there are only a few spots left. If you want to better understand the differences you and your partner may be experiencing in communication, emotional reciprocity, socializing, executive function, sensory sensitivities and physical intimacy click here to register or go to www.neurodiverselove.com_________________________________________________On this episode, Dr. Jill Corvelli talks about the 4th component of her ND Compass Method.The first 3 components are: Education; Niche Construction; and Differentiation. The 4th and final component is: Autonomic Rese,t which includes work with Ketamine and Psyilocybin. Other topics discussed include: When there is chronic relationship trauma the dendrite stalks get worn away. Memory consolidation makes ongoing present moment roadblocks EMDR can help with healing in 1-6 sessions Need to find a way of resetting our nervous system or we are constantly in a flight, fight, freeze, or fawn response state Research shows that the "default mode network" (DMN) is different in ND folks Lower level of neurotransmitters in ADHD brain. Stress and cortisol can make neurons and dendrites atrophy and they can’t communicate Release of BDNF regenerates what trauma has withered away! Not everyone is eligible for Ketamine. You need an assessment and it needs to be done with a licensed therapist.Jill is starting 2 new groups for innate healing and neuroplastic reset for those eligible to safely and clinically participate. Jill's co-leader, Mary Beathea is a nurseGroup 1-Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy group for women in complex relationships. May 7-9 onsite in Oregon. This is not a processing group it is an intervention group. Three prep sessions by Zoom and then 2 dosing sessions in Oregon. Then 3 integration sessions where you make sense of the experience with a group.Group 2-Psilocybin group for complex couples. Meets September 26-28 in Oregon. Ketamine provides an amazing assist with rapid therapeutic change, neuroplastic window, more cognitive flexibility to do work in, insight and clarity to reframe important life issues, lay down defenses, overcome obstacles, navigate obstacles that caused stress, and recover self, increase window of tolerance, get unstuck, work assist, recovery of self.https://www.ndpartnerscompass.com/courses/women-complex-partnerships-ketamine-retreat b) Psilocybin-Same neuroplastic reset- dendrites fertilized regrowth, liquid compassionPsilocybin- sacred perspective, part self and part wisdom, other places of sacredness. Decisions, obstacles, innate healing activatedhttps://www.ndpartnerscompass.com/courses/complex-couples-psilocybin-assisted-group-therapy In addition, Jill is providing adjunct support in collaboration with a couple or individual’s regular therapist. For adjunct services there is no wait list. Jill provides up to 6 sessions of Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy and EMDR in NJ, OR, WA (can travel in) and Jill's ND Compass Method is available everywhere. You can contact Jill at: jill@jillcorvelli.com and ndpartnersinstitute.com PLEASE NOTE: Psilocybin is legal at the state level in Oregon for regulated use in certified service centers with certified facilitators. It remains federally illegal-(much like cannabis). It has been identified as a break through drug at the federal level fueling research and strong potential change in its scheduling and legal status. Many states are also looking to follow Oregon in providing accessibility for its demonstrated ability to quickly resolve treatment resistant depression, anxiety, and addiction.Ketamine is federally and state legal with FDA approval for anesthetic use and not FDA approved but commonly and legally prescribed for off label use for treatment of depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and other issues.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

You can buy the downloadable digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards (ONLY $11) or the Workbook (ONLY $12.97) at www.neurodiverselove.comIf you would like to purchase the "Strategies & Tools for Increasing Healthy & Respectful Communication" workshop with Greg Fuqua, LMHC and Mona Kay, MSW. Ph.D. click here. The recording and the workshop workbook are available for ONLY $97. In addition, you will receive a discount code to purchase the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook for ONLY $1 for each__________________________________________________During this episode, AANE Certified Neurodiverse Couples Counselor and Coach, Jill Kearns shares some of the lessons she learned and her lived experience in her neurodiverse marriage of almost 40 years. Other topics addressed include: Emotional neglect Cassandra Syndrome When trust is broken Living parallel lives Feeling alone and unsafe and pushed out by the tribe The importance of the book "The Body Keeps the Score" The impact of significant trauma Alexythymia The pain of choosing to either stay or leave is real Masking in public, but different behind closed doors Flooded with stress hormones Not being able to emotionally regulate Using alcohol to dull the pain Memory and attention problems, chronic irritability and sleep problems 18 months of chronic physical problems Chronic interpersonal trauma Healing through self-awareness, mindfulness, meditation, self-care, positive relationships, and EMDR Apologies and forgiveness Neurodiverse Couple Trauma Cycle There is hope! Lack of understanding is mostly a disaster, while knowledge can be the key to success.If you would like to contact Jill you can check out her website at: www.neurodiversecouplescounselling.com.au or email her at: jill.e.kearns@gmail.com For more information on the Neurodiverse Couples Trauma Cycle check out: https://www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com/trauma-cycle--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you and your partner are looking for ways to improve your communication in your mixed neurotype relationship, then⁠ click here⁠ to purchase the recorded workshop with Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay titled: "Strategies and Tools for Increasing Healthy and Respectful Communication in Your Neurodiverse Relationship".

The topics that are addressed include:1) Rituals of Communication.2) Healthy Communication Structures.3) Reciprocity and Turn Taking.4) Perspective Taking and Conflict Resolution.5) Tools for Communicating Changes Wanted and Needed.

_______________________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona and Greg talk about their lived experiences co-parenting with a partner who has a different neurotype. They share some of the lessons they both learned, things they now understand and would have done differently, as well as the strengths in their co-parenting relationships. In addition, they address many other topics including:

Having shame around parenting because it can reveal some of our issues around neurodivergence.
ND mind needs time to recover and the parenting demands may make it seem like they don’t have space to recover.
Being great in emergency and crisis situations. Hyperfocus can be very helpful.
Needing to engage in activities and having a role during an event.
When only one parent goes to most school activities, birthday parties and other events that involve other kids.
Identify your stylistic differences, preferences, strengths and roles as parents.
Sensory overload and not knowing your sensory profile can create lots of challenges.
Parents may experience emotional overload or overwhelm because they don't understand each other's neurological differences.
One parent may be the safe person for the children to go to.
May feel like you have an angry and unavailable partner.
Try not to identify your partner by their most vulnerable and difficult moments.
The importance of recognizing relational trauma and neurodivergence legacy.
Understanding that our neurodivergent traits may be passed down to our children.
Take time to talk to your child about how you may not have been able to meet their needs.
How alexithymia may impact the parent-child dynamic.
Not being able to tolerate highly emotional situations like screaming or intense crying.
Kids may feel like they have to “walk on eggshells” with a parent.
Understanding how screaming or shutting down can impact your children.
Understanding an ND partner may not engage in certain parenting responsibilities because they don’t want to get it wrong.
One parent may experience shame around what they feel they can’t do as a parent.
Your passions or special interests may be places where you can bond and connect with your kids.
Kids attune to each parent and seek “attachment”
Be a student to your kid and learn from them and understand their needs and personality.
The way your family thrives may be SO different from other families...and that’s okay.
Understand that the maintenance of your relationship with your college age or adult child may change.
The need for mutuality and reciprocity.
Being clear about what the adult child needs from their parent.
When you feel something positive about your child tell them.
Connect with your adult child on a regular basis and consider adding a reminder to your calendar to reach out to them.

If you would like to learn more about the support groups and other resources Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to contact Greg, you can check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton called "Navigating Decisions and Choices in Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on Zoom on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) you can click here Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!_______________________________________________________During this episode of the podcast, Mona has an opportunity to talk with Tristan and Renee who recently learned that they are a mixed neurotype couple. Tristan identifies as having some traits of what used to be identified as Asperger's and Renee identifies as ADHD. Throughout this conversation, both Tristan and Renee share the struggles and growth they have experienced individually, as a couple and as a neurodiverse family with two young children. Other topics addressed include:

Their different perspectives on their relationship when they first met.
When one partner is clear about the path for the relationship, but hasn't communicated it to the other person: ie: if you're pursuing someone, it's only for marriage.
Codependency and trying to solve other people's problems.
Not understanding when you have poor boundaries.
Supression of emotions and being hypervigilant.
When you have neurodivergent traits, but would not be diagnosed based on the current criteria.
Anger is a sign of fear.
We all deserve to do the things we love and live a life with peace, freedom and a lasting, healthy relationship.
Communicate what you need and how your brain and emotions work.
When your faith helps keep you together.
Agape love can be a transforming force.
Do we actually change or just begin to see things differently?
How are you supporting each other as you each become more of your authentic selves?
The pain needs to pay off somehow and it might be used to help others who are having similar challenges.
What does it look like to love the future version of your partner?
The value of learning and using the Imago Process by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt LaKelly
Your partner may feel like they have the solution to every problem.
Choosing to be more assertive.
When people are emotional they may say things they don't mean!
In other cultures they accept people being in crisis and believe they can work through it and get to the other side.
You can crash and burn, but it's not the final destination.
Sometimes we need our partner to do more then just listen and respond appropriately...we need empathy.
The interplay between the masculine and feminine.

To contact Tristan and Renee you can go to: www.purposeadvisory.com.au or send an email to: tristan@purposeadvisory.com.au

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

For more information about the resources Mona has available go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

WARNING: During this episode we talk briefly about suicide, suicidal thoughts, & sexual abuse, so please be aware of this and take care of yourself if this discussion may be a trigger for you.During this episode, Rachelle Jones-Grief Recovery Specialist shares information about her own neurodiverse marriage & family, as well as how an evidenced based model for grief recovery can provide the tools and strategies that can help you understand & process grief. Rachelle talks about her own grief recovery process and how her mission is now to help others heal in more healthy ways. The other topics discussed during this episode include:

How this model gives us grace, compassion and curiousity.
Understanding what work and change we each have to do.
Determine what your "truth" is.
Apply the" Grief Recovery Model" tools everytime you need them.
Remember that each partner comes into the relationship with "their" issues, whether they understand them or not.
We may say and do things out of our "emotional reaction".
Understanding when your truth may be that you're feeling really hurt and unloved and it can be because something that is currently happening reminds you of an issue from the past.
Remembering that your partner doesn't "make" you feel anything, however then can "leave" you feeling a particular way.
Understand what your reactions and emotions are connected to and understanding our unmet hopes, needs and expectations.
Unexpressed hopes and expectations can create grief.
Long delays in responses from our partner can leave us feeling unloved and uncared for.
Find, acknowledge and express our "truth" and provide the space and time for our partner to do the same.
Unintentional pain can be caused when we don't know how to move through and heal grief.
Grief is cumulatively negative.
Loss of hope, dreams and expectation are all grief moments.
Suicide is usually about needing the pain to end and not thinking that it every will.
Get honest that time isn't going to heal the grief.
Understanding that we can't replace the loss.
Grieving by yourself is probably not working.
Keeping busy does not heal grief.
Your real strength is sitting in the heartache and acknowledging what is real.
Time is not going to heal the grief, but taking action can begin the healing process.
Unresolved emotions can come out as physical health problems.
Short term energy relieving behaviors (STERB's) work for a little while, but don't work long term.
STERB's can be socially acceptable, but don't heal the grief.
It is important to understand what we are doing to cope and feel better, and then try to help ourselves so we don't feel the pain so intensely.
Have a sip of grace for yourself and your partner.
Be able to say "I don't know what I'm doing here", however we can find the tools and strategies to move forward.
Judging yourself or your partner is not going to make things better. However, accepting and understanding that you have different ways of experiencing life and dealing with your emotions and grieving can be life changing.
We each feel our emotions differently and go through the grieving process differently.

If you would like to contact Rachelle you can check out her website at: www.griefrecoverywithrachelle.com or you can follow her on IG @GRWRachelle

If you would like to work with Rachelle, she has created a scholarship code for my listeners to get a 20% discount on tuirtion for any of her classess. The code is: MonaNDLove. Rachelle offers an 8 week classs for individual training or group training and a 2 1/2-day class for individual or group training.

For more information about the evidenced based Grief Recovery Method you can go to: www.griefrecoverymethodc.com

If you are in the United States and are experiencing suicidal thoughts you can dial 988 for the Suicide Prevention Hotline or go to www.988lifeline.org

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you and your partner are looking for ways to improve your communication in your mixed neurotype relationship, then click here to purchase the recorded workshop with Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay titled: "Strategies and Tools for Increasing Healthy and Respectful Communication in Your Neurodiverse Relationship".

The investment for this workshop is ONLY $97 and each participant will receive a Communication Workbook and a code to purchase the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value) and the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97 value) for only $1 each!_______________________________________________________During this episode, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay talk about some of the strengths, challenges and differences that may be present when one partner is Autistic and the other is ADHD. Greg has this dynamic in his marriage and Mona had this dynamic in her 30 year marriage, so they both share a lot of their personal experiences, as well as those they have seen in other couples with these mixed neurotypes.The topics addressed include: Externalized energy vs internalized energy. One partner may be a "bridge" for the other. Differences and overlaps and shared understanding. Anxious pursuer vs avoidant. Timing is the key to find moments to connect. In-depth knowledge vs chasing a new thing. External calm and patience vs lots of outer energy and a desire for change. Having different processing preferences. Ability to jump around vs going deep with one subject. The need for autonomy and freedom or feeling like you have to repress your needs. Understanding emotional dysregulation and self-soothing. Being hyperverbal vs hypoverbal. How knowing each other's neurotypes can help explain why you both may be having challenges. Tracking each others mood and stress and attuning to each other, rather then judging and creating conflict. Valuing each others different processing styles. Understanding unidentified sensitivities. Being vulnerable vs intellectualizing emotions and growing in emotional vulnerability. Focusing on your strengths and connection as a couple can help you rebuild and transform your relationship.If you would like to contact Greg you can email him at gfuqua70@gmail.com or check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.comIf you would like to learn more about the support groups or other resources that Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate called "Navigating Decisions and Choices in Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/ The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on Zoom on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) you can ⁠click here ⁠Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!__________________________________________During this episode, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay talk about the different ways mixed neurotype couples can create more positive feelings for each other and how they can find ways to show more affection and appreciation in their relationship. The other topics discussed include: Understanding your partners "owners manual", which includes their history, trauma, what they need for repair after conflict, their neurotype, love language, deficits, strengths, relational trauma and triggers. The importance of reciprocity and mutuality. Remembering that relationships require maintenance. Engaging in small gestures that address each others needs and wants. Preparation and negotiation are important in a mixed neurotype relationship. When your "love tank" is empty it is very easy to have raw and hurtful experiences. Understanding what leads to a culture of appreciation and reciprocity. Healthy internalization rather then toxic externalization. Talk about processes so both partners understand what happened. Being romantic and vulnerable can feel "too much". Alexythymia and love can create "short circuits". Internalizing things can give very little space for interaction with your partner. Being shamed for having intense feelings and how important it is to create safety in your relationship for sharing your feelings and emotions. If you have positive thoughts about your partner...say it! Own what's yours and understand your triggers. Understand and take care of your hurt "parts" and wounds. Take a pause when angry and start with an "I" statement and/or a statement of empathy.If you would like to learn more about the support groups and other resources Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.comIf you would like to contact Greg, you can check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) go to www.neurodiverselove.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!_______________________________________________________Welcome to Season 7 of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast.

During this episode and many more throughout the season, Greg Fuqua, LMHC is co-hosting the podcast with Mona Kay. This episode is focused on the different needs each partner may have related to socializing and family time. The topics addressed include:
◦ Connection with people when it's within your partners capacity.

◦ Bowing out of planned events and experiencing questioning and disappointment from family members when they don't understand.
◦ Experiencing anxiety when asking for your needs to be met.
◦ When you aren’t “out” to everyone in your family about being neurodivergent.
◦ Having a specific role at family events can be very important to help get connection to self.
◦ The importance of downtime and a transition period.
◦ Understanding what each partner needs during socializing.
◦ Social differences are not deficits.
◦ Plan and prepare beforehand, so you know what is coming and what the expectations are.
◦ Having an exit plan and having support around that is important.
◦ Needing a way for self-soothing, alone time and recovery.
◦ Running late because you may not understand each others needs.
◦ Taking separate cars to an event can be helpful.
◦ Reducing anxiety by planning and preparing together, then debrief after the event to learn what you can each do better in the future.
◦ Including both "open" and "down" time into the socializing event can be helpful. May also want to schedule in time for your partners special interest.
◦ Remember that everyone wants to be seen, known, valued and understood.
◦ Past relational trauma may impact decision making around socializing and date nights.
◦ Family time with kids can also be challenging because the “expectations” may never stop.
◦ Be aware of sensory overload or overstimulation.
◦ Understanding that change of plans may be difficult and lead to anger or irritability.
◦ Develop habits and rituals around communication.
◦ Make sure your autistic partner has time for recovery.
◦ Understand your capacity and how much you can socialize based on the stress you have experienced that day.
If you would like to contact Greg Fuqua, please check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this solo episode, Mona shares some information that might be helpful for neurodiverse couples to think about before they begin traveling together:

sensory overload
alone time needed
the importance of routine
small talk and socializing with strangers
planning out everything
being flexible
trying new adventures
sitting or flying for long periods of time
food preferences
structured mealtimes
having a sense of humor

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) go to www.neurodiverselove.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!_______________________________________________________Enoch is back for "Part 2" of our conversation together so that he can share a few more of the word pictures he developed. Each of these were created to provide more depth about what he experienced in his neurodiverse marriage and what he has heard others describe about their relationship. The word pictures discussed are: CPU's single threaded vs multi-threaded-this word picture addresses executive functioning and the effect it can have on "time awareness"; the ability to handle multiple realities at the same time (theory of mind); the importance of a "hypervisor" to conduct the different streams; and process sensory inputs (non-verbal communication). The 5 A's: acknowledge treasures; anticipate needs; accommodate; appreciate; and adore. Monochrome vs Color (emotional fluency differences and the ability to perceive and react in real time and not through a cognitive algorithmic analysis)-when one partner experiences things through contract and the other through nuance and intensity. When partners show and/or talk about their feelings in different ways (verbal and/or non-verbal). The Funny Car-is usually found on a drag race strip and excels at what it does. When the car is purchased and it is taken off the track it has trouble managing traffic, braking, and turning sharp corners.Enoch ends the episode with some important questions for the non-autistic/NT partner to consider:1) Where on the "spectrum" does the NT find themselves between a partner and a caregiver? 2) What are reasonable expectations that an NT may have? 3) Are there enough positives to sustain a relationship that may be lacking in some types of reciprocity and partnership?To learn more about Enoch and the resources he has collected on neurodiverse relationships and neurodiversity, you can check out his website at: www.Ifgodwhy/ND or email him at: ifgodwhy@gmail.com--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you are interested in attending the mixed neurotype support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate, called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" the cost is only $25 per session. We meet monthly on the first Wednesday of the month and we offer 2 groups. One meets at 12:30pm EST and the other meets at 6:30pm EST. You can ⁠⁠click here⁠⁠ to register for the upcoming group.In addition, check out Mona's website at: www.neurodiverselove.com if you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards for ONLY $11, or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook for ONLY $12.97Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!______________________________________________________During this episode, Orion Kelly-That Autistic Guy on YouTube shares insights into what makes his neurodiverse relationship work and how he feels about being a husband, father and a member of "The Lost Generation". Orion also shares how he uses his skills as a content creator to help others and highlights his commitment to making sure his autistic son has a better life then he has had. Some of the other topics addressed on this episode are: What it feels like to be considered bad or broken, ostracized or bullied. Your purpose is your gift and what you're good at and the importance of finding your skills and then giving them away. Why dating and relationships can be hard for some neurodivergent people. How his communication style impacted his dating life. Finding a partner who understands you and can accept you. Being seen as funny, rather then offensive. Self loathing, self-hatred, and a lack of worth when you know you're different. You can't tell a PC to be a Mac! Not being able to accept compliments, because words don't matter, actions do. Understanding that your autistic partner has a neurodevelopmental disability. Understanding what your partner's emotional intimacy needs are. The importance of individual therapy and applying what you learn. Trying to fix things, rather then listening to understand. Looking at the other person's perspective. Differences in brains can be a supportive thing in a romantic relationship. Understanding your autistic partner's type of honesty. Knowing what makes your partner feel loved and understanding their wants and needs. Autistic people can be very sensitive to any type of rejection or criticism. Depersonalization is the key! Frontloading conversations can help with understanding and connection. Seeing differences as reality, rather then misconstruing them as rude, abrasive or inappropriate.To learn more about Orion Kelly you can visit his website at: www.orionkelly.com.au or check out his YouTube Channel at: That Autistic Guy, or listen to his podcast: My Friend Autism. I would also highly recommend his book: Autism Feels: An Earthlings Guide.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you are interested in attending the mixed neurotype support group I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton, the cost is only $25 per session. We meet monthly on the first Wednesday of the month and we offer 2 groups. One meets at 12:30pm EST and the other at 6:30pm EST. You can ⁠click here⁠ to register for the upcoming group.Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!________________________________________________________During this episode, Enoch shares the way he describes the experiences he had and the feelings and emotions he experienced in his 21 year neurodiverse marriage. He shares the word pictures he has created to help others understand some of the ways he felt before his marriage ended in divorce. The word pictures described are:1) The Onion of Loneliness-there are 3 dimensions/layers to this word picture. They include the loneliness with your partner because you have very different needs; the loneliness when friends and family don't believe you or understand what you are experiencing; and the loneliness when you feel hopeless that things can't or won't ever change.2) Cup-vs-Barrel/Pond-vs-Stream-each partner has differing needs and different thresholds for feeling satiated in regards to the quality and quantity of connection. Each partner also has different ways in which time is navigated.3) Wedding Day as a Finish Line-vs-Starting Line. One partner may feel that the wedding day was the end goal and the other may feel it was the beginning of a new adventure with lots of opportunities for connection ahead. In addition, one partner may seek stability and routine in the marriage, while the other is looking to grow and have lots of new experiences together.4) The Egg of Marriage addresses masking and how others may see a very different version of the neurodivergent partner, as they only see the shell of the egg, not what is inside. In addition, each partner may have very different executive function skills and this may impact the appearance of the egg yolk which can't be seen by people outside the relationship.You can contact Enoch at ifgodwhy@gmail.com or check out his blog and resources at: www.ifgodwhy.com/ND In addition, for a less glitchy version of this episode you can visit: https://www.icloud.com/iclouddrive/0cb5GjFCrOJqfd1-7DT-4VPWw#ND_exp_-_word_pictures_1_podcast_with_Mona_Kay_20240105t--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this solo episode Mona talks about the importance of letting go of "inappropriate" hope, letting go of the fear of change, taking time to grieve the losses in your relationship and life, letting go of and healing guilt and shame, and moving forward in 2024 to transform into the person you want to be.

If you are the non-autistic/neurotypical partner and would like to join Sarah Swenson, LMFT and I for our upcoming 4 week workshop "I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together" you can click here to register. The investment is only $297 and all participants will get 3 bonuses:

The digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value)
The digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97 value)
Free access to the 27 presentations from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value)

Also, if you are interested in attending the mixed neurotype support group I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton, the cost is only $25 per session. We meet monthly on the first Wednesday of the month and we offer 2 groups. One meets at 12:30pm EST and the other at 6:30pm EST. The January groups are almost full, but you can click here to register for the February group.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

You can buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook" at: www.neurodiverselove.com. On the Neurodiverse Love website you can also subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners.Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!________________________________________________________Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a certified sex therapist and supervisor and also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). She is the author of two books and also teaches graduate courses in human sexuality. Dr. Tina also leads the Northwest Institute on Intimacy (https://www.nwioi.com) where she trains therapists, physicians, and educators on sexual health. During this episode, we talk about the history of sexual shame and how to heal it.

We also discuss other topics that many neurodiverse couples may be dealing with related to physical and sexual intimacy. Those topics include:

Being relationally and sexually healthy.
The history and definition of sexual shame.
How does sexuality look for diverse populations?
Only 18 states require medically accurate sex education.
The impact of silencing and shaming someone for being sexually curious.
Understanding your internal critic and internalized judgment and the source of sexual dysfunction.
Ways to heal from sexual shame.
What was the misinformation you may have received about sex?◦ How can we be comfortable in our own skin related to physical and sexual intimacy?
When something that is pleasurable to you doesn’t seem common.
Understanding consent, support and how you maintain both.
Experiencing pleasure in the way that works for each of you.
Feeling othered doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
Bring your less reactive self to the conversation about what you like. Find people who share your interests.
Partners can mirror back to each other the things that are most important.
Is there a bridge to each other around areas of significant difference?
Exploring the possibility of opening up your relationship regarding getting your needs made in different ways.
How misunderstandings regarding needs can create struggles with physical and sexual intimacy.
Lack of knowledge and feeling you don’t deserve something better can cause you to give up.
Sex may have been routine and may not include a lot of communication.
High desire person may not be getting the heart connection and pleasure they want.
Penetrative sex is not the only type of sex.
Research has shown that many queer couples are having better sex.
Can you and your partner create a menu of what you each like?
Mojoupgrade.com has a quiz regarding sexual interests and preferences.
When one partner wants to engage in watching pornography and the other partner is confused.
Understanding the role of pornography and why it’s in your partner’s life.
Understand why your partner may feel betrayed.
Porn does not give you intimacy.
Gain an understanding of when your partner started looking at porn, what was the purpose, what does it help with, what does it get in the way of, and how can you build a sexual health plan together.
Pinklabel.tv; Erikalust.com (suggested sites for ethical porn)
Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (https://weknowship.org/)
Any act of loving is an act of risk. Your partner may disappoint you and/or break your trust.
Have reasonable expectations and determine how each of you want to manage the bumps in the road of your relationship.
Are you both willing to work to become a better version of yourself on the other side of your challenges?

You can contact Dr. Tina at: www.TinaSchermersellers.com

or you can follow her or the Northwest Institute on Instagram: @Drtinashameless or @Nwinstituteonintimacy

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

You can buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook" at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

On the Neurodiverse Love website you can also subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!________________________________________________________

During this episode with author, Ryan A. Bush we talk about Ryan's search for understanding his own differences and how that journey led him to create a life path that is more aligned with his strengths.

In addition, we address the following topics;

The principles of "Psychitecture", which is a focus on self-improvement on a deeper level.
Depression and anxiety and possible ways to address each.
Communication, emotional, executive function and sensory differences in a neurodiverse relationship, when one partner is autistic and the other is ADHD.
When your partner may be obsessive with their work or interests and doesn't always prioritize their romantic relationship.
The importance of being respectful and having self-control.
Theory of well-being and neurodiversity.
Modifying your own mental habits through a systematic approach.
Change your beliefs to change your moods.
Doing things that scare you and take you out of your comfort zone.
Focus on your top personal strengths.
Understanding your communication battery.
Remember to be playful and prioritize fun and friendship.
Stoicism and virtue.
The rare advantage of different neurotypes.

You can learn more about Ryan or pre-order his new book "Become Who You Are" at: www.designingthemind.com

You can also pre-order the ebook for only $1.99 right now at: https://designingthemind.org/becoming

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

You can buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook" at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!________________________________________________________

On this episode, Jackie Schuld, a Registered Expressive Arts Therapist and mental health counselor, shares her expertise and lived experiences as a late diagnosed Autistic ADHD human. She provides valuable information on the 6 categories that she helps neurodivergent individuals understand and accept as they move forward to create their most authentic life. Other topics addressed include:

Understanding your autistic (or AuDHD) characteristics and getting clarity about what you accept and what you may want to work on or change.
Making sense of things after diagnosis or self identification.
Art can help move the emotions through you and help you tap into the subconscious and look at what needs to be processed.
You may need to focus on and process your grief before moving forward.
Know that it's okay to have feelings and they are happening for a reason.
The importance of getting to a place of understanding yourself in 6 categories: Mental/Thinking; Emotional, Sensory, Body, Social and Passions.
Passions are used to regulate your nervous system.
Don't take it personal when your autistic partner wants to be alone.
Emotionally may have higher highs and lower lows and experience intense emotions more frequently.
Autistics may have enhanced senses and this can be physically and mentally exhausting.
Understand what each partner needs to regulate their nervous system.
Learn how to take care of your brain.
Know your social quota. May have challenges having conversations when there are a lot of sensory issues to deal with.
Increase self-awareness and understand yourself so you can take a break before you've reached your limit.
One thought can lead to a hundred other thoughts (constellation or multilayered thinking).
Understanding interoception and proprioception
Being aware of the needs of your body and being able to sense when you're hungry, thirsty or need to use the bathroom.
Food sensitivities and understanding the mind/gut connection.
The challenges of being misdiagnosed.
Looking at how you've been treated and how you've treated others.

You can learn more about the services Jackie offers and her writings on her website: www.jackieschuld.com

Jackie's book "Life as a Late-Identified Autistic" will be published in January 2024.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with author, licensed therapist and coach, Eva Mendes, we talk about how our neurodiverse relationships can serve as a mirror to opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth. We also discuss many other important topics including:

Understanding and working on your own issues.
Nature, nurture, family of origin and personality traits.
Aligned values and life goals.
Keeping score isn't healthy. Let things go so they don't build up.
Monitor negative talk about yourself and your partner.
Remembering why you chose your partner and the importance of reconnecting.
Do positive self-talk and create a gratitude list about your partner.
Work on understanding recurring patterns so you can change them.
Have "micro-dialogues".
Understanding each other's "conversation battery".
Things to consider before you start dating or get serious.
Be the type of partner you want to attract.
Increase your self-esteem.
The importance of mutual respect, conflict resolution skills, and meeting their friends and learning about their community.
Being open and willing to get help when needed.
Being flexible and fluid.
Is it emotionally safe to talk about the things that are important to each of you.
Be true to yourself. Be willing to grow. Value yourself.

If you would like to contact Eva you can reach her at: https://www.eva-mendes.com/

Eva's books are:

Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Successful Strategies for Couples or Counselors.
Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism. Voices from Across the Spectrum
Armchair Conversations on Love and Autism: Secrets of Happy Neurodiverse Couples (will be published in Spring, 2024)

_______________________________________________________If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", or you want to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Beginning on 1/23/24, Mona Kay and Sarah Swenson are offering a 4 week interactive workshop for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners titled "I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together". The cost is ONLY $297 and there are limited spaces available. If you are interested in joining us, please click here.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Mona and Olga are back to talk about how challenging it can be to be our authentic selves in any relationship. They also share some of the challenges they have experienced with past and current relationships. Some of the other topics discussed include: Not understanding ourselves, our partners, or their lived experiences. Our perception can change our reality. Apologizing can be so hard. The value of asking "how can I help or support you?" Being respectful, kind and compassionate. Concrete, black and white thinking. The importance of listening to "understand" your partner and if you don't understand be curious and ask questions. Be open to changing your perspective and your mind. How definitive decisions can result in no path back. Maybe it's not personal. Coming from a place of fear, because of past trauma. How can you trust each other? How addictions can be used to help when you don't feel like you fit in. Alcohol may be used to be more present and serve as a social lubricant. Focus more on fun.___________________________________________________To listen to more episodes of the podcast with Mona and Olga check out Season 1 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode Dr. Claire Bates and Dr. Monique Huysamen share some of what they learned from autistic adults about their needs and desires regarding love, sex and intimate relationships.Some of the topics discussed include: Information about the project participants and the study purpose. Understanding consent. Lack of support regarding information on physical and sexual intimacy. Awareness of sensory needs and sensitivities. Sensory joy. You don't have to share a bed or a house with your intimate partner. The challenges of neuronormative ways of flirting and dating. Indirect and ambiguous ways of connecting. Having frank conversations about needs and desires. Dating services for neurodivergent adults (www.SafeSoulmates.org in the UK) Understanding boundaries. Having a safe space that is autistic led and informed to talk about these issues. Having time to prepare to discuss sex and physical intimacy with mental health and healthcare providers. The impact of alexythymia. May need more time to discuss needs and boundaries. Toolkits available on physical and sexual intimacy. Policy work being done in the UK on these topics.If you would like to learn more about the "Supporting Autistic Adults Intimate Lives" project and the resources that Monique talked about you can go to: www.autlives.comIf you would like to contact Claire her e-mail is: claire.bates@choicesupport.org.uk or you can learn more about her work at: www.supportedloving.com.uk _______________________________________________________If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", or you want to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Lida Far is a Gottman Sex Therapist who is licensed in 7 states and does coaching throughout the world. During this episode, Lida talks about the pre-marital counseling and coaching she does to help partners thrive in their relationships. Each partner completes the online Gottman Relationship Assessment and then Lida serves as a guide to help each partner increase self-awareness and learn more about how their relationship with the person they love can be healthy and supportive.While some of this episode is focused on the issues couples can address prior to getting married, many of the topics discussed can apply to couples who are dating, living together or even those who have been together for many years. There is lots of important information discussed on many critical topics including:The Gottman Relationship Assessment addresses many areas of an intimate relationship including: communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, friendship and trust. Self awareness and understanding your wants and needs is critical. Understanding communication patterns, social battery and when hobbies may be taking up too much time. We all have unique strengths and value that can be celebrated. Create an emotional safe space that is judgment free. The importance of having "uncomfortable conversations". Track your thoughts and feelings in writing. Learn how to be your authentic self. Dysregulation can lead to feeling dismissed. Understanding our roles and what we "don't" want. Expressing thoughts, feelings and needs. Recognize and validate each other. Realizing your part of the same team. Social battery and sensory differences can impact the wedding and other family events. What is each partner's limits? Plan for intentional breaks. Have "cues" to communicate needs. Understand food preferences. May need to do things in a non-traditional way. Have empathy and flexibility with each other. Understand and respect processing and thinking differences. When we change the narrative regarding what is "actually" going on. Hook-up culture. Boundaries and consent. Physical and sexual intimacy and the impact of sensory sensitivities or differences. Desire discrepancy. Be attuned to what makes you comfortable.If you would like to work with Lida you can call her at 571-315-6471 or check out her website at: www.crystalcounselingandcoaching.com/_____________________________________________________If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

In this episode with coach and trauma informed therapist Maya, we talk about how plant medicine helped heal some of Maya's past trauma and how she has used it to help neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals better understand themselves and other's in their life. In addition, she shares how plants can help heal our wounds in a way that other healing modalities may not have been able to and talks about how her plant medicine journey helped her be a better partner in her relationship with an autistic man.

PLEASE NOTE: This episode is for educational purposes only and the information shared during this episode is one person's personal and professional experience. Plant Medicine is not legal in many countries, so this information is provided as an educational resource only.

Maya also addresses some other topics including:

Plant medicine focuses on energy.
Our issues are in our tissues.
Empathogens pluck out the weeds from the roots and plant new seeds.
Plants can take us deep into our feelings without re-traumatizing us.
We can see things from a different perspective.
The importance of addressing unmet needs and core wounds.
Relationships give us an opportunity to see our "growing edges".
To be the best partner we need to face and heal our past relationship traumas.
We can learn to uncouple unmet needs from anger.
Understanding "taking space" as sacred can be helpful.
Self acceptance.
Learning how to love deeply and unconditionally.
The importance of asking ourselves "Have I lived fully, loved fully and learned to let go?"
Life is the ceremony and the plants test us.
We know an experience is complete when we can say "yes" and "thank you".
When a relationships ends we have an opportunity to look at how it has served us.
As we change a lot of things can fall away.

If you would like to contact Maya you can e-mail her at: maya@inrightrelationship.com

If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Chris Forrest shares how her and her husband have successfully navigated through various challenges in their relationship and marriage as two neurodivergent partners (ADHD and Autism). Chris shares some of the lessons they have learned together and some of the strategies they use that have helped their relationship thrive. The topics discussed include: Structure your life so it works with your brain. The power of curiosity when communicating with your partner. Being more direct. Learning how to understand each others needs. Understanding that you each think differently and being very open can help with keeping calm. Be more solution focused. Taking a pause to see what else can be considered when their are misunderstandings. See your partner as your teammate. Black and white thinking and communication. Importance of clear and concise communication. Discussing how some behaviors may be negatively impacting your relationship and working on the best way to to make changes or modifications. The importance of practicing patience. Understanding how lots of change may impact your partner. Creating structure to meet each other's needs. May also want to structure conversations with an agenda so both partners understand the boundaries regarding the conversation. Scheduling the things that are most important including household chores and time for intimacy. Everything doesn't have to be spontaneous. Discussing expectations and assumptions that may not be helpful or accurate. You can choose connection or conflict. The value of using a joint calendar. Setting multiple alarms as reminders can be very helpful. Sometimes sleeping in separate bedrooms may be helpful. Work on positive connection. How Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) may be impacting you or your partner. Have each other's best intentions at heart. The value and importance of making each other laugh and being playful. Work on understanding each other and practice gratefulness and show appreciation for your partnerYou can reach Chris at: info@plannerexe.com.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

TRIGGER WARNING: DURING THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS RAPE/SEXUAL ABUSE AND SUICIDE. If any of these issues may be triggering to you then you may want to refrain from listening to this episode, or skip the parts that may be triggering.Many of us have grown up trying to fit in, be liked, or not understanding the difference between our "intent" and our "impact. In this episode, Dennis Wyrzkowski shares how his trauma, autism diagnosis and focus on love have shaped the person he is today. Dennis spent many years as a monk and is now engaged to be married, while his life journey has been filled with many traumatic and challenging experiences, his healing journey and growth mindset will be an inspiration to all of you.In addition to sharing some of his lived experiences and some of the lessons he has learned, Dennis also shares the attributes of love and how each of these may be impacting your life and your relationship. Some of the topics discussed include: Voids in awareness of the world around. Difficulty in recognizing social cues. Love yourself just as you are! Questioning everything and being shamed for that. Being fearless to be yourself. The importance of accountability and responsibility. Religion can be used to weaponize. The opposite of love is indifference. Attributes of love: patience; empathy; don't be jealous, boastful, proud, arrogant or egotistical; don't be rude or offensive; be assertive and respectful; don't be self-seeking or judgmental or irritable; don't not rejoice in what is wrong; it bears and endures all things; has hope that things can get better. H.A.L.T.-don't make decisions or do things when you are "Hungry", "Angry", "Lonely" or "Tired". Consider the opportunities for growth, healing and learning in your relationship and your life. Love is the universal language and when you give it and receive it then it can be very healing. Run towards the truth. We all deserve to be loved, cherished and admired.You can follow Dennis on Instagram @dennisthemonk or email him at: dennis@favreaulousfactory.comIf you are experiencing any type of abuse, please contact the local hotline in your country. In the United States you can call: 1-800-799-7233.If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact the local hotline in your country. In the United States you can call or text 988.—————————————————If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Beginning on 11/1/23, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton will be co-facilitating a new support group for individuals of ALL neurotypes. The group will meet on Zoom the first Wednesday of each month from 6:30-8PM EST and the cost is ONLY $25. Click here to register.

If you find yourself confused about making decisions because you don't know if you'll ever get your needs met in your current relationship.
If you and your partner are moving in different directions because you don't understand each other's perspectives.
If you are wondering what destination you will get to in your relationship, if you can't communication more effectively and repair after conflict...then this support group is for you!

PLEASE NOTE: This group is for individuals only, however, if both you and your partner are looking for this type of support group, then you can attend on different months. Also, please know that you can join us once, or attend as often as you want, there are no participation requirements. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

During this episode, Jodi and Mona talk about how important motivation and willingness are to learn, grow and understand about yourself and your partner. They also address the challenges that can occur when there is a lack of respect for each partner's differences. In addition, they talk about some of the breaking points in their own long-term marriages and what they might have done differently if they had known more about the neurological differences in their relationships. Other topics discussed include:

Updating the narrative you have of your partner instead of having contempt for them.
What it means when couples are in the "boxing ring"?
Confirmation bias.
Not being able to be vulnerable and let your guard down.
Losing trust and respect.
Understanding your own wounds and trauma and healing both.
Knowing what makes a healthy relationship work.
When both partners are co-dependent.
Understanding your expectations and needs.
Asking: Who am I? Who are you? Are we aligned?
When layers of pain and hurt become contempt.
If nothing changes how will you feel?
The importance of understanding the impact of our family of origin and our own neurology
The need for "Double Empathy" and understanding each other's perspective.

If you would like to learn more about the in-depth relationship assessment that Jodi conducts with BOTH partners, you can contact her at Jodi@jodicarlton.com. In addition, if you would like to work with Jodi, connect with her on social media, or learn more about all the services she offers you can check out her website at www.jodicarlton.com

If you would like to listen to Jodi's first guest episode on the Neurodiverse Love podcast you can click here.

If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, please contact the Domestic Violence Helpline in your country. If you live in the United States you can call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

_____________

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with Giji Dennard, we address a topic that many of us may not have thought about. Giji shares how we may not have known that our father (or primary caregiver) was neurodivergent and when we look back at our childhood through a neurological lens, we gain more understanding, and can begin to heal wounds that may have impacted our most important relationships.We also address the following topics; Residual daddy issues. We choose our partners by familiarity or void. Understanding why your father may have had difficulty coping with crowds, or had challenges with social interaction and/or family events. Looking at the ways your father showed affection, shared emotions or facial expressions through a different lens. When you grow up thinking your father is being apathetic, is not interested in you, or is showing disdain...but this isn't true. What imprints may have been made on your life? We absorb what our environment displays. The impact on our relationships of how our fathers related to our mothers. The journey to heal begins with awareness of triggers. The value of changing our perspective on our interpretations and internalization of various misunderstood issues. Are you carrying pain, hurt and trauma that needs to be healed? We may pick partners to help us heal our father wounds, but sometimes that may make things worse. The 3 steps to healing father wounds: 1) Recognize; 2) Repent and Release; 3) Know That You Can Be Loved and Valued. The goal is to get back to "Wholeness". Your past doesn't have to define who you are. To contact Giji check out her website at: https://www.wellfedresources.com/meet-giji______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.comThank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To celebrate the 3 year anniversary of the Neurodiverse Love podcast, the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook is now available for only $12.97. To buy your workbook today, click here. The workbook includes 104 questions that you and your partner can discuss to learn more about what each of you wants and needs to thrive in your relationship and to live your most authentic life.

During this episode with Dr. Suzanne Lachmann, you and your partner will learn more about why many of the conflicts in your relationship are not getting resolved the way you would like. When repair and making amends seems to get more difficult over time, understanding the concepts and strategies Dr. Suzanne shares can be a game changer. The topics discussed include:

Softening your perspective.
Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Understanding flexibility can be scary.
Being literal vs general.
Words and promises have different meanings.
Being clear and concise...words matter.
Can you stop taking things personally?
Creating less tension and more understanding.
Moving from sacrifice to compromise.
When intentions are different than impact.
Trusting your partners intentions are genuine.
Understanding how you each define different words.
Working on trusting each other.
Anger vs emphasis.
Urgency may not be anger.
Language may not hold as much meaning to one of you.
Saying the right things, but not acting on them.
How often are you disappointed?
Different ways of understanding language, the world and yourself.
Both partners need to work on compromising.
There is no black and white in relationships.
Recognizing how different your partner thinks can create more positive communication.
Getting triggered and looking for your partner to make up for pain from the past.
Emotional short-circuits.

You can reach Dr. Suzanne through her website at: www.drsuzannel.com or connect with her on LinkedIn or Instagram @drsuzannel

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This episode is being published on the third anniversary of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. It it has been an honor and a pleasure to release weekly episodes of the podcast for the last 3 years. If this podcast has helped you better understand yourself, your partner, or someone else in your life, I hope you will take a few minutes to send Mona an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com and share some of your story.

During this episode, Mona has a fantastic conversation with Dan, the first man she dated during her separation. When Mona and Dan met in February, 2016, Mona didn't know she was in a neurodiverse marriage and Dan didn't know he was autistic. Mona's discussion with Dan provides a glimpse into the way we can choose to better understand ourselves, our past and present partners, our children, and the other important people in our lives. Our differences can create division or connection, and that is a choice we make daily in every relationship we have.

Some of the topics discussed include:

Discovering your neurodiversity through your child's diagnosis.
Gaining understanding of your struggles.
Costs associated with getting needs met.
Letting go of emotional attachment.
Understanding why there were difficulties in relationships.
Having partners that want to change you.
Giving the space to not judge yourself.
People want to be validated and feel heard.
Coping mechanisms.
Letting go of your desire to please others and seek acceptance.
Learning how to set clear boundaries.
Triggering each other.
There are times for doing, reflection, and rest.
Everything has a season.
A sense of social justice.
Delusions of grandeur.
Give yourself grace.
We are always trying to find homeostasis and how gongs can help with that.
Do you want to be right or happy?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Although Ryan Mayer received his ADHD diagnosis in high school, he didn't find his most authentic life until he became a certified ADHD. During this episode, Ryan shares the impact ADHD had on his career, his marriage and family and how he has turned his lived experiences into impactful messages on social media and a coaching career that is helping other's live their best life.

During this episode, we have an great discussion about the hallmark traits of ADHD: impulsivity, distractibility, and hyperactivity. We also address:

Feeling both relief and regret.
Understanding that the "shininess" will wear off.
The importance of getting accommodations at school and work.
Advocate for your needs.
Getting fired and crashing and burning.
Having healthy outlets to get dopamine hits
Managing dopamine hits from our smartphones.
Understanding and managing addictive or risky behaviors.
Being proactive if you know you are easily distracted.
Prioritizing tasks.
Masking vs being your most authentic self.
Remembering your partner isn't a mind reader.
Lack of communication and understanding leads to higher divorce rates.
When you say "yes", you also say "no".
Being full present and make moments matter.
Understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to speak your partners love language.

You can follow Ryan on IG @adhd_coach_ryanmayer, on FB @Ryan Mayer ADHD Coaching, or on TikTok @ADHD_coach_ryan. You can also check out his website @ www.ryanmayercoaching.com to enroll in Ryan's 10 day text based course "How to Find Work that WORKS for Your ADHD" and you can get a 30% discount by using the code NDLOVE30 .

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Brooke Ward, LMFT shares the challenges she and her husband experienced before learning they were in a mixed neurotype marriage. When Brooke was diagnosed with ADHD she began to do some individual work to better understand her neurotype, however she soon realized that her husband might also benefit from better understanding his neurology. That process led him to discovering that he is AuDHD and has Sensory Processing Disorder. Brooke shares her lived experiences and the ways in which trauma and unknown neurodiversity impacted her marriage. She shares about some of the major misunderstandings that occurred and what led her to believe that the root cause may be neurological differences. In this episode we discuss lots of important issues including:

Co-dependency. Feeling alone and like you are being taking advantage of. Being a creature of habit. Lack of communication or being angry and emotional. Feeling abandoned when your partner is focused on their deep interest. Sensory issues with an infant. Changes to routine after having a child. Dysregulation and emotional communication. Creating structure and routines for parenting. Change can be like working with play-doh or titanium. ADHD and impulsivity and instant gratification. Motivation, capacity and the ability to see things differently. Unmasking and changing careers. Understanding sensory sensitivities and the benefits of earbuds and comfortable clothes. Increased ability to repair after conflict. Memory loss after emotional dysregulation. Understanding your partner may not always be able to show up for your emotionally. Abuse is abuse no matter what your neurotype is. Understanding reactions that are not appropriate to the situation. Lack of awareness and education on Autism, ADHD and neurodiversity in universities that are training helping professionals. Stigma, shame, stereotypes create challenges...we need a paradigm shift! Patience, awareness, capacity, motivation, accountability, and shifting your internal views. Letting go of unrealistic expectations and hope of what you thought your relationships would be. Understanding that there will be grief.

You can contact Brooke at: www.brookewardlmft.com

If you are experiencing domestic violence in your relationship and you live in the United States you can call the National Domestic Violence hotline at: 800-799-7233. If you are in the United Kingdom you can call: 0808-2000-247.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with Thomas Henley, the "Thoughty Auti" we begin our conversation talking about dating challenges and how to better understand how different neurology may have an impact on your dating relationships. If you are in a relationship and would like to skip the dating discussion it starts at about 12:30 and ends at about 35:25.

After we discuss dating, Thomas shares openly and honestly about the following topics:

Understanding your different communication styles.
The impact of misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Using emojis to understand "tone".
The way different thoughts are expressed and the impact of being direct.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
Being patient and really trying to understand your partner.
Both partners may feel like they are not heard, understood or validated.
Alexythymia-difficulty noticing and categorizing your emotions.
The value of "explaining emotions", not just "expressing" them.
Difficulty regulating emotions.
Understanding that it may take your autistic partner a few hours, days or longer to know what they are feeling.
Cognitive empathy and the challenge with being able to give the response the other person needs.
If you're invested in your relationship, assume good intentions.
Saying exactly what you are thinking and feeling with no subtext.
Being patient, rather then making snap judgements.
Forgetting that your brains are different in the midst of conflict.
Understanding intimacy and sensory profiles.
The challenges of having lots of indirect communication with physical and sexual intimacy.
Feeling safe to communicate your intimacy needs.
Mental health challenges can impact intimacy.
The nuances of dating and on-line apps.
How the "Pick-Up Artists" are impacting dating.
Trying to make dating into something logical and scripted.
Not everyone has the social battery to go out in public, or start conversations with strangers when on dates.

You can e-mail Thomas Henley at: hi@thomashenley.co.uk and follow him on social media, listen to his podcast, or YouTube videos here.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you want to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this solo episode, Mona addresses a topic that may be creating some misunderstanding, disconnection and challenges in your Neurodiverse Love relationship.

Some people say that if we don't have expectations, then we can never be disappointed. However, how many of us can really say that we have no expectations in our relationships? Maybe, instead of having no expectations, we can think about whether or not we have clearly and concisely communicated our expectations? What might happen if you and your partner talked about the expectations you have of each other and then listened to each other to truly "understand" what each of you want, need and prefer in the areas where your expectations seem to be repeatedly dismissed or not met? When we have expectations of our partner and have not communicated them with compassion and love, in a clear and concise manner, we may feel like our expectations are too high, but maybe they're not.

During this episode, Mona explores the expectations we may have in the following areas:

Communication-how often and for how long do you want to talk each day? What does the tone of your communication really mean? Is eye contact really that important? How do you each define a "timely response"? Physical and Sexual Intimacy-how often do you each want to be touched and what types of touch feel good? How important is eye contact when being intimate? What sensory sensitivities or differences need to be explored? Emotional-what do you each expect when you’re upset? How important is alone time to process emotions? What is the best way to move from dysregulation to balance and a regulated nervous system? ————————————————If you want more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for Neurodiverse Couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Lilo and Bill offer so many valuable insights and lessons based on the learned experiences they have had before and after Bill was diagnosed as an autist. They have been together for over 30 years, and Bill received his autism diagnosis after more then 20 years of marriage (and lots of challenges they didn't understand).

During this episode, Bill and Lilo share openly and honestly about how they have struggled and persevered in love. Bill spent 24 years in the military and Lilo is an artist, hairdresser, and home-schooled all of her children. They have moved 14 times and through all of the ups and downs of life they have discovered the unique strengths, challenges and differences that have helped them grow and learn about each other in ways they never expected. This episode is filled with lots of laughs and insights that will be helpful for all neurotypes.

The topics we address include:

Communication challenges and ways to address them
Asking your partner if they "will" do something, instead of if they "want" to do something
Marriage is a contest of generosities.
Being unorthodox and eccentric.
Understanding how you each "recharge" differently.
Mr. Spock as a spirit animal?
When one partner wants a "mute" button for the other.
Having a "neurostat' for sensory input.
When strengths may also create challenges.
Struggles and failure can make us stronger.
Love is the glue that helps us advance civilization
Being a learning organism.
Give up on what's supposed to be a "normal" marriage/relationship and accepting what is.
Being a life dog, navigator, personal assistant.
Stop expecting an apple to be a pear.
Everyone is a swiss cheese person and you need to fill your own holes.
Texts and emails remove "tone".
Time limits when discussing emotional issues.
Rituals and routine.
When holidays and presents don't have the same value or importance.
Is it black and white thinking or both non-linear and linear?
Patience is critical.
Understanding different perspectives regarding loneliness and time alone.
The life changing impact of understanding autism.

You can listen to Lilo's podcast called "Touching the 'Tism" or Bill's podcast "Chasing Ghosts: An Irregular Warfare Podcast". You can e-mail Lilo at marriedtotheiceman@gmail.com or email Bill at: cgpodcast@pm.me

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/allistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

On Wednesday, September 13, 2023, from 7:30-9:00pm EST, Mona Kay and Sarah Swenson will be co-facilitating a workshop on Zoom titled: "What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship". The cost is $25 per individual or couple.

If you would like to join us for this important workshop, please click here. The workshop will "NOT" be recorded, so participants can discuss the issues that are most important to them. However, if there is enough interest, we may be offer the workshop again.

During this episode with coach and licensed therapist Sarah Swenson, LMHC, we discuss many of the critical issues that a lot of neurodiverse couples may be dealing with on a regular basis. We talk about the importance of both partners being validated, so that each feels heard and seen. We also address the importance of being respectful of each other's differences and knowing what each partner is able to accommodate, and the importance of having grace for each other. Sarah talks about the value of understanding that some things can be changed and some can't, and knowing the difference. She also addresses some of the common challenges that neurodiverse couples have, which include: communication differences, not understanding why one partner is so angry at the other, loneliness in the relationship, and challenges with the extended family.

Other topics that are discussed include:

The critical importance of working with a therapist or coach who has expertise in working with neurodiverse couples.
The Tragic Dance-when love exists, but may not be enough.
Understanding the weight of history and the predictive value it has had in the past.
Remembering history is history and it is not predictive of your future relationship.
Breaking old communication habits.
The importance of starting with a "beginners mind".
Making the choice and commitment to acknowledge that each partner is acting in "good faith".
Slowing down when processing information or emotions.
Pausing and giving each other space in conversations.
Understanding the meaning and nuance of different emotions.
Intuitive or non-intuitive processing of emotions and how we revert to "our type" during duress.
The value of communicating in writing.
Understanding that saying "I don't know" is a statement of fact.
Ways to reduce loneliness in a relationship.
Why one partner may often respond with a "no" when you bump into their "rules" or "rubrik".
Understanding your partner's "singular focus" and how that might be impacting your relationship.
Differences in "non-verbal" communication. If you want to connect with more of Sarah's work, you can subscribe to her Substack at: sarahswensonlmhc.substack.com or check out her website at: www.theneurodiversecouple.com

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/allistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Welcome to Season 6 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Three years ago, Mona and Olga started this podcast to share their lived experiences in the neurodiverse relationships that they had that had ended. After exploring the ins and outs of the many relationships they have had with neurodivergent men, they share some of the lessons they have learned and ways in which they have grown. They also discuss the importance of respect, compassion and love for yourself and your partner, and how each can make a difference in how we live our lives, become our most authentic selves, and create emotional safety in our relationships.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Sarah Bergenfield shares a little about the path she and her daughter traveled to discover they are both autistic, and how as a therapist she is helping other neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples as they move forward on their own unique journeys.

Sarah is a Certified Level 3, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. She provides information on the value of understanding the “parts” that may have been created as an undiagnosed autistic person. She also shares critically important information about Polyvagal Theory and why it's important to understand what happens when you are in a dysregulated or regulated state, as you are scanning for cues of "safety" or "danger". Sarah also talks about autism being a perceptual disorder and how this impacts the level of input coming in.

Sarah also addresses the importance of understanding your "sensory profile" and how gathering that information can help partners understand which senses are "over" or "under" responsive and how to address each. Sarah also explains how autistic individuals process from the "bottom up' and others process from the "top down". Understanding the way in which you and your partner process the world, can help you both find the "hot spots" in your relationship and work on addressing them with compassion and grace.

Lastly, Sarah talks about how important it is to shift the narratives we have around autism and neurodiversity. She shares a little bit about how she and her husband shifted their narrative around sex. After she began to understand her own sensory profile, then some of the challenges they had experienced began to make more sense. Since there are so many physical aspects of sex (ie: skin, touch, sound, smell, breath, etc.) it can be overwhelming, and when the autistic partner is not engaging in the way their partner may expect, it can feel like rejection to the non-autistic partner. Sarah also provides ideas about how each partner can discuss their sensory needs in a way that increases intimacy.

Sarah ends the episode by discussing the way she has described being autistic... "it's like being a bird flying in a garden and then flying into a window"...more specifically she asks "how can you prepare for a hazard you don't even see?"

If you would like to contact Sarah you can reach her at sarah@thecuriousheart.com or on her website at: www.thecuriousheart.com

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98 by ⁠⁠⁠Clicking here⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with Kerry McLeish, you will learn about the 5 types of exhaustion and rest that may be impacting your neurodiverse relationship. You will also understand how to move from exhaustion to a more rested life and learn some ways to create a more healthy rhythm between rest and work.

In addition, you will learn that you can be drained, full or have different capacity depending on what is happening in your life and your relationship. Lastly, stress and exhaustion often go together, so creating a "rest toolbox" that you can turn to whenever you need it is SO important.

The 5 types of exhaustion and rest that are discussed with Kerry are:

physical
mental
emotional
social
spiritual

You can reach Kerry at www.restforlife.org or through www.lovingdifference.net

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98 by ⁠⁠Clicking here⁠⁠⁠.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Veronica Anderson is a medical doctor and an intuitive who is helping people throughout the world better understand themselves, their partners and other important people in their lives. During this episode, she shares a little about her professional journey and her neurodiverse family. In addition, Dr. Veronica provides information on the impact of the 3 parts of the mind: cognitive, affective and conative. Understanding the conative piece (how we take action when we are free to be who we are) can be a game changer in life and in our relationships.

Dr. Veronica also shares information about the 3 I's that impact our life and our relationships: Instinct (how you take action and how you do things); Imprinting (the first 7 years of your life are "imprinted" on to you and this attracts you to a particular type of person); Intuition (understanding your energy and spiritual DNA).

Dr. Veronica also talks about the Kolbe Assessment and how it helps us understand more about ourselves and the 4 types of people that may be in our lives professionally and personally, and how understanding more about the strengths (and potential challenges) of communicating and working with each type can impact your life. The 4 types include: Fact-finder; Follow-through; Quick Start; and Implementer.

Dr. Veronica also talks about the work she does around "Human Design" and the importance of understanding the 5 types of Human Design. She shares information about how each type has an important and valuable place in the world and how they may impact the way in which you show up in relationships and in your life, so that you can live with purpose and in a way that is alignment with your energy.

Dr. Veronica also shares the results of Mona's Kolbe Assessment and Human Design and each described Mona perfectly!

Understanding how your brain is wired and learning who you are, so you can BE IT is critical! In addition, a lot of the information shared during this episode can help partners understand themselves and each other.

If you are interested in learning more about the Kolbe Assessment and Human Design, and would like to work with Dr. Veronica you can reach her at: www.drveronica.com

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠click here⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98 by ⁠Clicking here⁠⁠.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with guest co-host Dr. Bronwyn Wilson, we talk about what it looks like to find the "Goldilocks Zone"...the "just right" for neurodiverse couples and what might be preventing couples from finding the path towards thriving in their relationship, including:

The importance of both partners accepting the autism diagnosis, or self identification.
Denial can lead to relationship breakdown.
Both partners need to be committed to change and recognize the positives in the relationship.
What it looks like when one partner is the "social secretary".
The importance of "accepting" help.
Creating a more regimented relationship and a new normal.
Why positive comments are sometimes seen as critical.
Intent-vs-impact.
Catastrophizing and anger rumination.
Looping thoughts and repetitive behaviors.
Trauma responses can impact your communication styles.
Bullying and abusive behaviors.
Deserved justice or "an eye for an eye".
Depression can impact negativity.
The "Surviving Zone" includes living separate lives, not dealing with problems, loss of pleasure, depression, and saying yes and doing no.
Neurodiverse relationships may look different and that is okay!
A formula to thrive in a neurodiverse relationship: 1) Both partners be willing to accept and learn about the diagnosis or self-identification; 2) Be willing to gain knowledge of neurodiversity and understand each other's differences; 3) Have a constructive mindset; 4) Understand that "typical" counseling will never suffice; 5) Be motivated to learn about, nurture and support each others individual needs.
During this episode we talk about abusive behavior and if you are in an abusive relationship and need help, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline in your country. In the United States the hotline number is: 800-799-7233

I want to thank Dr. Bronwyn Wilson for sharing her research, lived experience and knowledge on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Her research has helped many people better understand themselves, their partners and their relationships. I am hopeful that the results of her many years of work will lay the foundation for many more researchers to work with autistic individuals, allistic/neurotypical individuals and neurodiverse couples around the world who are looking for ways to thrive in their relationships. When we know better, we can do better!

As we work together, we can increase understanding of the needs, strengths and challenges that all neurotypes may have and this can lead to more acceptance, compassion and grace for the way we each want to live our best, most authentic lives!

If you want to contact Bron, or order a copy of her book (Have They Gone Nuts? The Survival Guide to Social Interaction in Neurodiverse (Autistic-Neurotypical) Relationships), or pre-order her second book, please check out her website at: www.bronwilson.com. You can also buy her e-book on Amazon. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98 by Clicking here⁠.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

WARNING: During this episode we talk about anxiety, depression, suicide and substance use. If these issues are difficult to hear about, please take care of yourself if you decide to listen to this episode.

This is the last episode with my wonderful guest co-host, Nicole Knowlton. During our discussion. we go in-depth on some very important, and sometimes very emotional topics that we haven't discussed much on the podcast. The topics addressed include:

Why neurodivergent individuals may experience depression and anxiety, as people try to correct and change them throughout their lives. Co-occurring issues can include: ADHD, learning and sensory processing differences, and PTSD. Our neurology is not a choice! No shame in taking medication, if you want or need it. Finding out about your neurodiversity through your children's assessments. The importance of an educational system that supports your child's needs and strengths. Losing friends and jobs and not understanding why. Why being alone can sometimes feel safer. "Walking in each other's shoes" exercise. AuDHD feels like OCD at a party! Substance use and abuse to numb and deal with societal pressures. Some habits and addictions may be fueling your system. Some of the strengths neurodivergent partners can have include: strength, stability, security and being financially conservative. How vulnerability can impact relationships. The impact of the expectations we have of our partners inside and outside our relationship. How it effects you when you are carrying a "core wound" of failure. If you are not willing to do the work to forgive, heal the past and accept your partner for who they are, you will probably suffer in your relationship.

Books recommended during this episode:

Sincerely Your Autistic Child. What People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Their Parents Knew About Growing Up. Acceptance and Identity. Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx

If you would like to contact Nicole for coaching, therapy and/or assessments. You can find her on Psychology Today or on Instagram or Twitter @aspietherapist. I want to thank Nicole for sharing her expertise, lived experiences and the lessons she has learned on her journey. It has been an honor to have her as a guest co-host and I hope that some of you will have an opportunity to work with her in the future. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. Click here to buy your deck today. Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Katie Zitterbart shares a little about her neuro-spicy journey and the importance of double empathy and neuro-spicy embodiment and sexual health. In addition, we discuss:

The importance of understanding the perception of others.
Discerning between neuro-spicy traits and the impact of CPTSD.
The autistic brain is "bottom up" and the allistic brain is "top down".
"A felt sense of yes" is an invitation for self exploration,
Pattern recognition and how meaning happens.
Examples of some of the different types of synesthesia (where stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in a secondary sensory or cognitive pathway.)
Aphantasia is being "blind inside" and not having the ability to create mental imagery.
The value of achieving more nervous system capacity.
Creating rituals and scripts.
Understanding the autists sense of social justice.
Being right and when it matters.
The relationship between connective tissue and emotional body dysregulation
Hypermobility and autism.
Starting from a place of safety and security
You can contact Katie about her work in somatics, sound healing or sexual health at: www.kayteezee.com

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠⁠to buy unlimited access today.

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona is joined by Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts from the Loving Difference online community. Heather and Natalie have been on the podcast numerous times and they were both amazing presenters at the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference. On this collaborative episode, the conversation focuses on three myths that may be the source of some of the challenges you and your partner are experiencing in your neurodiverse relationship:

Myth #1) Neurodiversity is the problem that makes all differences more pronounced.

Topics discussed include: The importance of self-awareness and reviewing your own patterns; adaptative strategies to armor up; expectations and beliefs we have about romantic relationships; the impact of stress from "unknown neurodiversity" and "unhealthy" relationship patterns; the importance of understanding the potential impact of childhood wounds and nervous system dysregulation; the importance of the mind/body connection; creating space between the stimulus and our reaction.

Myth #2) Thinking you need to leave or you need your partner on board to change things.

Topics discussed include: knowing your needs, preferences, tolerances and values; the impact of losing touch with yourself; getting clarity of thought and having healthier responses; the impact of other peoples nervous systems on you; reducing your own reactivity; getting in touch with yourself and your own happiness; restoring your choice and autonomy.

Myth #3) If I do self-care and more things on my own, then things will get better.

Topics discussed include: you have to fill the holes in your own bucket, not just focus on self-care; we all need good boundaries; take time to heal; determine what strategies need to change; understand your triggers and find better ways to handle them; get clarity about your needs (even if it's uncomfortable); there may be more separation in your relationship as changes occur; find ways to re-connect with your partner and revitalize your relationship; reduce "negative intimacy"; heal past hurts; find solutions; masking may have meant you don't know yourself or your partner.

Please Remember: Your neurodiverse relationship may look very different from other people's relationships...and that's okay!!!

You can reach Heather and Natalie at www.lovingdifference.net or on their websites at: www.natalieroberts.com and www.heatherparks.co.uk. You can also check out their podcast "Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships" wherever you listen to podcasts.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

For more then 20 years, Dr. Kenneth Roberson has been providing therapy for both autistic individuals and neurodiverse couples and he also conducts ASD assessments.. During this episode he shares some of the topics he discusses with clients to provide support and guidance for autistic clients who want to have successful dating experiences. Some of the topics addressed include:

The importance of focusing on and using your individuals strengths in the dating process (ie: kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty)
Focus conversation on areas of mutual interest.
Become aware of the triggers that may lead to a meltdown and avoid going to places that may lead to triggering reactions.
Understand your sensory sensitivities and plan a date that will be sensory friendly. Make sure the place you are meeting works for both of you.
Don't try to be something you 're not and exhaust or overwhelm yourself.
Pace yourself. Socializing requires a lot of energy and you may have to recharge your social battery.
Be patient with the dating process. It takes time to get to know someone and for them to get to know you.
Ask thoughtful and relevant questions without making the conversation an interview.
To show interest, respect and to make a connection, you may want to prepare some questions before the date.
Trust your suspicions, if something or someone seems "off" you can leave the date or end it.
Think about and get clear about what you want in a partner before you begin dating.
You may want to ask friends to help you write an online dating profile, as they may help you recognize some of your strengths that might be important in the dating process.
Determine if you want to share some of your autistic traits on your dating profile, or if you want to state that you are autistic and share what that means for you and what you are looking for in a partner.
Meeting for something casual for a first meeting...like a cup of coffee or a walk, instead of a formal date.
Fear of rejection during dating is normal. People will get rejected and ghosted. Each time it happens we have an opportunity to learn and grow and move forward to find someone who is a better fit for us.

You can contact Dr. Roberson by email at: dr.roberson@kennethrobersonphd.com or check out his website at: www.kennethrobersonphd

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.

If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.

Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This is the last episode with one of the Season 5 guest co-hosts, Greg Fuqua. During this episode, we address a topic from a listener who wanted to explore the way we often look at emotional differences in a neurodiverse relationship as either “logical” or “emotional”. She suggested that maybe it would be helpful to change the way we describe emotional responses and consider using terms like “expressive” or “inexpressive”. To expand this concept further, Mona and Greg discuss how some of us are taught to believe that we are “too much” or “too emotional” and that can lead to hiding our emotions, or becoming less expressive in our relationships. In turn, two unique individuals who come together in an intimate relationship don't always have the tools and foundation to connect with each other emotionally, bridge their differences, and understand each other's way of expressing emotions. Unfortunately, when we get stuck in using stereotypical ways to describe emotions in neurodiverse relationship we don't get to fully understand our partners. Greg talked about how "compassionate inquiry" may help both partners better understand each other's emotions, feelings, and state of being. Dr. Gabor Mate developed the "Compassionate Inquiry" psychotherapy approach, which reveals what lies beneath the appearance we present to the world (for more information on this approach check out: www.compassionateinquiry.com). Greg also shares how he and his wife "attune" and connect with each other by creating rituals of "safe conversation" and he shares how they implement this process.

We also discuss:

Healthy internalization versus toxic externalization
The value of creating bridges around differences and getting out of the blame and shame mode.
Relationship trauma
The value of using the term "allistic" instead of neurotypical
We all haves "parts" of us that hold wounds from childhood.
The importance of "emotional ownership" and not being responsible for your partner's emotions
Why "double empathy" is so important and the value of understanding each other's "whys".
We all have different ways of perceiving, responding and processing.
Why the most powerful and important traits in a relationship may be having a "growth mindset" and an "open mind"

We wrap up the episode with a conversation about how having a child and parenting can dramatically change a neurodiverse relationship and some of the things we have each have learned as parents in a neurodiverse relationship.

Thanks to Greg for being a guest co-host on the podcast and for sharing so much important information with the world. It has been a pleasure to have had so many important conversations together and I hope that the listeners have benefitted from our different perspectives, lived experiences and the lessons we have learned on our respective journey's.

If you would like to contact Greg you can email him at gfuqua70@gmail.com, check out his website at: www.GregFuqua.com or contact him at www.LifeWorksDM.com. You can also check out his profile on ⁠Psychology Today⁠.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠Click here ⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

On May 30, 2018, Mona and her ex-husband divorced after 30 years of marriage. While that was one of the most emotionally difficult days of Mona's life, she took the time to heal and created Neurodiverse Love to help others learn from her lived experiences and lessons learned, as well as the expertise and experiences from others. In this solo episode, Mona talks about some of the emotional, communication, sensory, processing and employment differences that had an impact on her marriage. In addition, she shares what happened that made her realize her ex was no longer willing to treat her with the kindness and compassion she needed and deserved and how the loss of trust impacted her decision to move forward on a divorce.

If you would like to hear more about Mona's journey you can also listen to Episode 20 from Season 2 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.comFollow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can now get "unlimited" access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98, just ⁠click here⁠.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Jes Diverges shares a little about her AuDHD journey, the lessons she has learned along the way (and in her current relationship), as well as the work she is doing to help other neurodivergent folks. (Please excuse the technical difficulties we had for the first few minutes of the episode...thanks!)Some of the topics Jes addresses include: Knowing where your partner is, accepting who they are, making space for them and not trying to fix them. The importance of understanding that you're not responsible for anyone's emotions but your own. Looking at differences as important for the relationship. The importance of two people working to cultivate the relationship.Co-dependency and enabling leads to encouraging dependency. Interdependency and how both partners have autonomy and connection and this helps encourage mutual growth and well-being. When a supportive partnership looks like "co-dependency" to the outside world. The value of active listening and appreciation of effort. Don't compromise your core values. "Shoulds" aren't healthy. Determine what you are willing to accept. Lowering expectations in a positive way can help reduce anxiety. The importance of the "flow state" for autistics and how it helps with regulation. How "monotropism" helps explains a lot of autism. Hyperconnectivity and less neural pruning in neurodivergent brains. The importance of making transitions smoother. Sticky hand thinking.Jes is a coach and is creating the "Combo Meal Confidence Course" to help other neurodivergent people live their best, most authentic lives. You can reach Jes at: jes@jesdiverges.com. You can also follow her on Instagram and TikTok @jesdiverges, or check out her website at: jesdiverges.com_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter. Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can now get "unlimited" access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98, just ⁠click here⁠ Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

In this solo episode, Mona addresses some important issues that are repeatedly discussed in the support groups she facilitates for neurodiverse couples and neurotypical/non-autistic partners. The topics are: 1) the importance of being vulnerable and real in your intimate relationships and creating emotional safety so this can happen; 2) The impact of feeling stuck in life and in your relationship and remembering what brings you happiness and peace; and 3) What unmet needs or unacknowledged fears may be creating challenges in your life and relationship?

All of these issues may be a challenge to both acknowledge and address, however as difficult as they may be to deal with individually and with your partner, they can also help pave a path forward that will create a life that includes more balance, happiness and peace.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode with guest co-host Dr. Bronwyn Wilson, we address the challenges that many neurodiverse couples experience because of communication differences. We discuss what it takes to create a win-win conversation and the ways in which many neurotypical/non-autistic partners use prompts to create connection with their partners. This process is called the "Prompt Dependency Cycle" and Bron talks about how this isn't always beneficial for either partner, or the relationship. In addition, we talk about why partners may take things personally and see some questions or certain types of comments as a criticism, when they are actually a way of connecting. We also discuss how having high expectations of each other may be having a negative impact on your relationship and why clarifying and understanding what you each need and want in the relationship is so beneficial.

If you want to contact Bron, or order a copy of her book (Have They Gone Nuts? The Survival Guide to Social Interaction in Neurodiverse (Autistic-Neurotypical) Relationships, check out her website at: www.bronwilson.com. You can also buy her e-book on Amazon. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or click here to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. Click here to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still buy a ticket for $98 to listen to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions. Click here to buy your ticket today. Presentations will be available to watch until May 15, 2023
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona and Nicole Knowlton discuss the importance of self-acceptance and self-love, for both partners and how our negative thoughts can impact our relationships. Understanding how different thoughts feel in our bodies and learning more about what we may need to work on and how we can have more healthy stress responses can be so healing and helpful. We also discuss the benefits of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how it can help us focus on the positive and not believe everything we think. Remember... "the grass is greener where we water it"!

Other topics addressed are:

What is "nesting" and how might it be helpful for children of separated or divorced parents?
Slow processing and how it can effect communication.
Masking at the beginning of a relationship.
Our internal narratives.
Core beliefs and stories we tell ourselves about failure and shame.
Reprocessing life after diagnosis and self healing.
The importance of remembering that "We are all doing the best we can and we need to have grace with the past".
Misdiagnosis in adults.
Boundaries and communication styles.
Take "people" out of the problem while working to find a solution.
Pursuer-withdrawer and other attachment styles.
Avoidant attachment style may be because parents did not know how to meet an autistic/neurodivergent child's needs.
The importance of emotional safety in your relationship.
Trauma can sometimes hide autism.

Nicole does coaching, therapy and assessments. You can find her on Psychology Today or on Twitter @aspietherapist

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

The Neurodiverse Love Conference will be held on February 14th & 15th, 2023. Buy your ticket before February 11th at 11:59PM EST, to get a 50% discount. Click here to learn more about the 27 conference presentations and to buy your ticket today! All the sessions are pre-recorded, so if you are not able to join us live you will have up to 3 months to listen to all the fabulous presentations.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona goes solo to talk about some of the confusing emotions both partner's may feel after learning they are in a Neurodiverse Love relationship. In the discovery phase, each partner may feel some hope that they will move forward with more understanding for themselves, their partner and their relationship. However, many times, after feeling hopeful, one or both partners may begin to feel grief. The grief will probably look different for each partner, however it's important to acknowledge that it is real . Mona talks about the 7 steps of grieving and how each may look and feel for each partner. In addition, Mona talks about the importance of forgiveness of yourself and your partner, as you both work to understand more about the "unintentional" hurt you may have caused yourself and each other, before you knew how differently your brains are wired Mona also shares how accepting that the dreams you had for your relationship, before you understood you were a neurodiverse couple, may no longer be applicable, and how important it is to accept yourself, your partner and the relationship that will be created as you move forward on a new path. Lastly, Mona shares a little bit about what peace looks like when you are in a neurodiverse relationship. Life may still be filled with lots of feelings, emotions and challenges, however both partners will have found different tools, techniques and strategies to work through the challenges that may come up. Understanding and accepting the strengths, differences and challenges that are present and having more effective ways to address and acknowledge each of these can be a game changer! Whether you continue working together in your relationship, or you choose to end your relationship, this episode will provide some important validation about the feelings both partners may be experiencing.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmailcom. You can also go to: www.neurodiverselove.com to learn more about the resources available for neurodiverse couples.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lorna Hecker is a therapist, coach and Professor Emerita at Purdue University Northwestern. While at Purdue she directed the Couple and Family Center for 25 years. She is also the author of the newly released book: Different Planets: Understanding Your Neurodiverse Relationship.

During this episode, we talk about the "couple patterns" that can occur in neurodiverse relationships. We specifically discuss the "pursuer-distancer" pattern that can create challenges when partners don't understand that complaining and criticism can lead to shutdown and/or a sense of failure. Lorna also addresses the importance and value of "kind bluntness", rather than "assuming". She also shares a little about some of the communication differences she has experienced in her neurodiverse family.

In addition, some of the other topics addressed during this episode are:

The importance of appreciation and admiration and why your partner needs it.
The challenges that can occur in a high needs household
Don't blame or scapegoat your relationship.
The impact of a sensitive nervous system
How a "wall of awful" gets built.
Don't assume your partner knows something that comes naturally to you!
Fill your own bucket to get some of your needs met.
Being attracted to reliability.
How burnout may look different for each partner.
Increase understanding of why masking may be happening.
We all have different brain styles.
Small talk as a stepping stone to get to know someone.
Learn how to not take things personally.
Power issues in a ND relationship.
What is alexythymia and how it may be impacting your relationship.

Lorna is available for therapy, coaching and psychoeducation. You can reach her at: www.neurodiversewellness.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

I want to thank everyone in the Neurodiversity Love community who has been listening to the podcast. I also want to thank my previous co-hosts (Olga & Manecia), and all the guests who have been a part of this journey. We have listeners in more then 60 countries and have had about 70,000 plays of the podcast. In addition, since 2020, we’ve published more then 120 episodes. For Season 5, I will be recording 4-6 episodes with each of my new co-hosts: Greg Fuqua, Bronwyn Wilson and Nicole Knowlton. I hope that all of you will continue to learn new information that can help increase understanding in your neurodiverse relationships. Lastly, if you haven’t registered for the Neurodiverse Love Conference that will be held on 2/14 & 2/15, please go to: www.neurodiverselove.com to get a 50% discount on your ticket. All the presentations have been prerecorded, so If you can’t join us live don’t worry. Everyone who purchases a ticket will have access to all the conference sessions for up to 3 months. Thank you again for your support of the podcast!--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you have already bought your ticket, OR you buy your ticket to the Neurodiverse Love Conference before 1/17/23 at Midnight (EST), you will be able to participate in a FREE live Zoom workshop on 2/21/23 at 7pm EST with the original co-hosts of the Neurodiverse Love podcast (Mona, Olga and Manecia). We will answer your questions and provide everyone with an update on where we are in our lives and the lessons we have learned since we started the podcast. We look forward to talking with all of you on 2/21/23💗. Tickets can be purchased at: www.neurodiverselove.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Tickets for the Neurodiverse Love Virtual Conference are available!!!

The conference will be held on February 14th and 15th, 2023 from 11am-7pm EST.

If you'd like to access the link for a50% discount on the ticket price, or learn more about the presenters, please visit www.neurodiverselove.com.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Amanda Platner is the Director of Adult Programs at the Emory Autism Center. She is also a clinical psychologist and another AANE certified therapist. During this episode, we talk about the journey autistic individuals may travel as they move forward on being their "authentic selves". We address the conversations that might have never happened, and those that may take place in relationships with professional colleagues, family members and in intimate or romantic relationships. Amanda shares that many of the individuals she works with have moments of revelation and excitement as they receive their autism diagnosis, or begin to self-identify as autistic. However, what follows next may include changes that not everyone is prepared for, or knows how to address. One of the important questions to ask may be "who are the people in my life who are going to be impacted when I am my authentic self?" As many autistic individuals may not be aware that they have been masking throughout their life, communicating their wants, needs, non-negotiables and boundaries, with compassion and respect may help things move smoother on the journey forward.

Amanda also talks about how the neurotypical partner may feel left behind when their autistic partner moves forward on living authentically. She addresses some of the ways in which both partners can work together to maintain and/or create a healthy relationship, both individually and as a couple. Creating and/or maintaining important rituals may be a helpful process. While also understanding that both partners may experience some grief and mourning for the relationship they thought they would have with themselves and their partner. As the relationship moves forward, it is important to remember that some of the core challenges may involve communication difficulties and understanding emotions.

Lastly, we talk about the importance of creating balance in life and in romantic relationships. More specifically we address the value of creating and agreeing on boundaries that can help create balance regarding intense interests.

Whether you are the autistic partner or the neurotypical/non-autistic partner in your relationship, understanding what each of you need to thrive in life and in your romantic relationship will help both partners live an authentic life. Sometimes that life includes maintaining your current relationship and sometimes a change is needed. No matter what path each of us choose, we all deserve to be in relationships where we can thrive.

You can contact Amanda at: amanda.k.platner@emory.edu or call: 404-727-8350

________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach, or you would like to register for the "Neurology Matters" training available through AANE for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page.

____________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

The Neurodiverse Love Virtual Conference will be held on February 14th and 15th, 2023 and tickets go on sale on 1/2/23.If you are interested in learning more about the conference presenters, please visit www.neurodiverselove.com. If you want to get access to more information about the conference, please sign up for the Neurodiverse Love newsletter .________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Janelle Homan has been doing therapy with families and couples in Brisbane, Australia for many years. She is also an AANE certified therapist and shares lots of valuable information during this episode. Janelle has viewed family therapy as a 3 part process: psychoeducation; acceptance and realignment of expectations and understanding uniqueness; and as an opportunity to be more effective and work as a team. She also uses system theory to help guide her work and looks at ways to create a better emotional climate so that all family members can improve performance. Some of the other topics discussed include: Understanding the relational experience and the patterns. How the process becomes the problem, not the partner. Embracing neuro-minorities We need a "curiosity" to understand difference. Attachment theory. Capacity for emotional experiencing and expression. Calming our nervous system and understanding our own triggers. The importance of problem solving in a calm state. Understanding coping styles that might create a reactive cycle. Both partners have different capacities and need to be willing to do the work. Understanding that emotion trumps logic and how to give empathy. The value of play and fun in therapy. Externalizing the problems. Secondary trauma and neurodiversity. Communication roundabout.You can contact Janelle at: www.janellehoman.com________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_loveYou can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.comThank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

The Neurodiverse Love Conference Virtual Conference will be held on February 14th and 15th, 2023 and tickets go on sale on 1/2/23.

If you are interested in learning more about the conference presenters please go to www.neurodiverselove.com. If you want to get access to more information about the conference, please sign up for the Neurodiverse Love newsletter .

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

During this episode another AANE certified therapist, Dr. Rahimeh Andalibian shares about her personal trauma experiences and her neurodiverse journey, as well as the path she traveled to begin working with neurodivergent adults and neurodiverse couples. Rahimeh talks about the importance of working with a therapist who has expertise in neurodiversity and how a therapist without this knowledge can cause "flooding" for the neurodivergent client. Most of the people who contact the practice that Rahimeh owns called "Spectrum Services", are in pain. Rahimeh and her team work with each client to gain a better understanding of the source of the pain. Through assessment, diagnosis and/or therapy, clients are given an opportunity to find the path that will help them gain clarity, as they work to live their best, most authentic lives.

Some of the other topics addressed include:

How trauma, race, culture and religion can cover up neurodiversity.
Executive function and emotional reciprocity differences in parenting that can create challenges.
The "dance" in therapy, when there is unknown neurodiversity.
When one partner is autistic and the other is ADHD, the source of the challenges may be misunderstood.
Understanding triggers that actually may be sensory sensitivities.
The impact of trauma on emotional regulation. Traumatized reactions can stay within our body!
Getting coverage from your insurance for the evaluation/diagnosis process.
The value of on-line screening tools to begin the self-assessment process.
How a "strength-based" diagnosis can help partners understand the language they speak and determine how they can connect.
What it means to "Feel it", "See it", and "Help/Understand it".
It is critical to knock down and get through the shame...We are all here to walk each other home!

You can contact Dr. Andalibian at: www.spectrumservicesnyc.org or at www.rahimeh.com

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Carrie Mitran has been in a neurodiverse relationship since 2007 and for more then 15 years she has been on a journey to discover the most effective tools and methods to help individuals and neurodiverse couples better understand themselves and each other. Dr. Mitran is an AANE Certified Therapist who has developed her own model for working with neurodiverse couples. The Mitran Model is a culturally responsive approach that moves away from the medical and diagnostic model and instead views neurodiversity as a culture. Specifically, looking at social-emotional learning and relational culture theory. The Mitran Model includes the following steps: 1) Identify target; 2) Implement a plan; 3) Define what support looks like; 4) Implement your plan with ongoing guidance. Dr. Mitran believes all people can design the life they want when they take time to understand themselves with knowledge, self awareness, and compassion. During this episode Dr. Mitran addresses the following: Why understanding neurodiversity is critical to therapy with ND couples. Building more competencies for helping professionals who are working with ND couples. The importance of understanding identity development stories. Core issues ND couples seek therapy for: misunderstood communication; perspective taking; high levels of anxiety that aren't recognized. Understanding complexities within each individual and within the intimate relationship and the foundation your relationship is built on. Supporting growth and development of each partner's identity with a new sense of awareness. Moving from acceptance to affirming! The importance of exploring and investigating our personal values, biases and stereotypes. How micro-aggressions can lead to contempt and resentment and the value of "micro-interventions". How breakdowns are opportunities to restart. Reconciliation and affirmation. The importance of understanding each others values and social context. Self-regulation-managing inner emotions and sensory overload. Moving away from "performance goals" in an intimate relationship. Having a curiosity based mindset. The value of "radical openness". You can contact Dr. Mitran at: www.neurodiversetalk.com

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Tim Donovan is a licensed certified social worker who has been in practice since 1992. He is also an AANE Certified Therapist who shares how important it was for him to update his approach to therapy to include a neurological lens. Tim shares some of the knowledge and strategies he learned from the AANE training and talks about how he has integrated this information into his therapy practice. Tim also provides examples of how the AANE certification gave him the confidence to address neurodiversity in counseling sessions.

Tim also addresses:

The overlap in diagnoses.
Figuring out which issue is doing the speaking.
Helping couples see the bigger picture.
How to incorporate AANE concepts when there is reluctance to accept neurodiversity.
Using "QAAA" (Question-Answer-Answer-Answer) as a connection tool.
The value of "connection codes".
Perspective taking and the "duck/bunny" picture.
Understanding the impact of sensory sensitivities.

Tim also conducts therapeutic "weekend intensives" with couples and he provides an overview of this modality.

You can contact Tim at: www.tcdonovan.com, or by email or phone at tcdonovanlcsw@gmail.com or 410-583-2622.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Remy Springer is a new mom and another AANE certified therapist who shares how parenting and pregnancy may impact a neurodiverse couple. More specifically, we discuss how communication challenges can increase and how sleep deprivation and changes to routine can lead to more anxiety. In addition, we address the importance of understanding what each partner needs to be fully present for their partner and family, and the importance of making time to recharge to reduce overwhelm.

We also address the following:

Strategies for helping with the transition from work to home.
Communicating the expectations when transitioning from work to home.
Mirroring to make sure both partners are in-sync regarding expectations.
Understanding sensory sensitivities that neurodivergent women may experience during pregnancy.
Some health care challenges that neurodiverse couples may experience and the importance of both self and partner advocacy.
Preparing both partners for the birth process.
The importance of tone, semantics and the need to be more concise, concrete and precise.
The need for more resources about co-parenting as a neurodiverse couple.
The importance of remembering that you and your partner are a "co-parenting team".

You can email Remy at: remy@remyspringer.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review, and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners", please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love. You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode I have a very important conversation with another AANE Certified Therapist, Dr. Alix Mansbach. Alix provides a summary of the diagnostic evaluation process she conducts with those who are seeking an autism diagnosis. The evaluation includes a 2 hour interview, 2 hours of testing and a 2 hour feedback session. We discuss the importance of having an opportunity to talk to family members, or the intimate partner of the person seeking a diagnosis. By learning more about this comprehensive assessment process it can help neurodivergent individuals and their loved ones understand the evaluation process before moving forward on finding an experienced clinician who can conduct the evaluation. While a formal diagnostic evaluation isn't something everyone wants to pursue, some people move forward on this process because they want and/or need accommodations at work or school, or they want to better understand themselves and their relationships. Those who want ongoing support through therapy or counseling are referred to clinicians with expertise in neurodiversity.Alix can also conduct comprehensive "neuropsychological" evaluations which include an evaluation of the following: academic achievement, intelligence, language, memory, attention, emotional functioning, executive functioning. These evaluations include 9 hours of testing , 2 hours of interviews and a 2 hour feedback session.During this episode we also discuss how many autistic females Alix has worked with may have had a lot of "treatment resistant" anxiety and depression before realizing they are autistic. However, many may also be able to leverage their cognitive skills to make sense of the social world, but unfortunately, this often comes at a great psychological cost!! Alix shares some of the things her female clients have told her as they describe how they have felt in a neurotypical world. She also shares how many highly intelligent women can mask her autistic traits and score as a neurotypical on the ADOS (Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule) which is one of the widely used assessment tools.We have a long way to go to better understand how our society can support both autistic and non-autistic individuals to better understand themselves and their partners, however it is important to know that there are skilled clinicians and diagnosticians available who understand how neurology can impact well-being, daily life and relationships and are working to ensure that the best assessment tools and processes are used to help each person live their best life..You can contact Alix at the Center for Assessment and Treatment in Chevy Chase, Maryland at: www.caatonline.com or by calling: 240-424-0184 ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review, and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners", please sign-up for the Neurodiverse Love newsletter at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love. You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Warning: During this episode we talk about masturbation, sex and porn addiction, and betrayal.

Julianne Cusick is a therapist and betrayal trauma specialist in Colorado and is also an AANE certified therapist. Julianne shares a little about her personal story through betrayal trauma early in her marriage. She also talks about how discovering her adopted daughter is autistic led her down another path in her marriage, as she and her husband also learned they were a neurodiverse couple.

During this episode we talk about how it feels to watch your partner excel in all areas of his life and repeatedly find that there are challenges that only seem to exist in your intimate relationship. As expectations inside the relationship increase, anxiety can grow as partners try to meet requests made of them. A unique set of challenges manifests and we address them during this episode. Julianne also describes the assessment process she goes through to determine if a couple is neurodiverse. It's not about blame or shame, it's about understanding, compassion and growth. Traditional couples counseling can be very damaging when there is "unknown neurodiversity' and it is critical to have an experienced therapist or coach who can serve as an interpreter and investigator, and provide a path forward that is healing and hopeful.

Some of the other issues we address in this powerful episode include:

Co-dependence
The impact of low self-esteem and self-worth
How IQ can drop when anxiety is present
Developing self-resilience
The importance of understanding each other's difference perspectives (Duck-Bunny picture)
Holding space for each other
Using addictions and compulsions to numb trauma
The Minwalla Method for treating betrayal

This is a powerful episode that I hope will help many individuals and couples who are experiencing challenges with betrayal trauma or addictions. Suffering in silence, or alone, and not being able to find the help, support and the healing tools needed-can be devastating. I hope this episode brings some light, hope and understanding to others.

Please visit Julianne's website to learn more about her work: www.restoringthesoul.com

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review, and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners", please sign-up for the Neurodiverse Love newsletter at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love. You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, another wonderful AANE certified coach and therapist, Barbara Grant, shares how both her personal and professional experience have helped her better understand the strengths, differences and challenges in neurodiverse relationships. She talks about her first marriage that ended after 20 years, and how unknown neurodiversity impacted that relationship She also provides excellent tools and strategies that she uses to help neurodiverse couples and individuals on their unique journey's. Barbara shares an overview of the 5 stages of change and talks about how each stage may look for neurodiverse couples. Barbara also takes the audience through the process she helps couples navigate as they move from "education" about the neurodiverse paradigm, to "energized", as they work together to understand each other's unique strengths and differences and learn effective tools to reduce challenges. In addition, Barbara talks about the trauma that may occur for each partner and within the relationship.

Other important issues that Barbara addresses include:

The ABCDE's of Couple Burnout
Anxiety and depression
How a neurodiverse relationship is like a "3 legged race"
The different types of presentation of neurodiversity
The process and benefit of "active listening"
How good communication is like a game of "catch"
The importance of "discernment coaching/counseling"

Barbara offers free 25 minutes consultations and she can be reached at: www.bg-hc.com or www.hopeforcouples.net

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review, and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Karen Watson is an AANE certified therapist who provides insight into her professional experience working with neurodiverse couples and her personal experience in a neurodiverse relationship. During one of her therapy sessions, Karen's therapist suggested that she might be married to an autistic man and through that new lens, the way she viewed her marriage began to change. Because of her personal experience, Karen knows how important it is for neurodiverse couples to work with a therapist who understands neurodiverse adults and neurodiverse couples. Many "invisible challenges" may be present that couples (and therapists) may not understand. These invisible challenges that are due to neurological differences can present as sensory difficulties, theory of mind challenges and cognitive differences. In addition, Karen talks about how the current system creates challenges for obtaining a formal diagnosis for those who want to move in that direction.

Karen also addresses many other important issues including:

Asking for what you need.
The importance of perspective taking.
Changing the way we look at our partners...be curious, rather then hurt.
The impact of trauma for both partners.
Understanding and preparing for "life transitions".
Learning about the cycle of shame.
The value of taking "time outs" and using "code words".
Accommodations that may need to be made in a therapists office, when working with neurodiverse couples.
Believing your partner when they say "I don't know" and understanding this is not an excuse.
Both partners adapting and understanding when a "relief valve" is needed.

You can contact Karen at: www.creativewisdomcounseling.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review, and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode I have an opportunity to talk with another AANE Certified Therapist, Stephen Robertson. Stephen talks about his own neurodiverse journey and some of the lessons he learned after his marriage ended. He also shares how it took him a lifetime to get his Autism diagnosis and some of the challenges he had with therapy...until a therapist suggested he might be autistic. His graduate thesis was on "what it is like to be an autistic person in a Master's program" and during that process he learned a lot about himself, and why he and his ex-wife had such different perspectives on marriage.

When working with neurodiverse couples Stephen takes time to meet with each partner separately. He has learned that their stories about the challenges in the relationship can be SO different. Stephen also stresses how important it is for both partners to understand each other's perspectives and he talks about how he uses several of the tools and techniques he learned through AANE to help address this: the Duck/Bunny picture and QAAA. In addition, Stephen provides lots of valuable information about his own personal journey and his commitment to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. More specifically he discusses:

The value of slowing down, listening and validating each other.
Determining if the patterns in your relationship are serving you and your partner.
Understanding what your anger is telling you (ie: unmet need?)
Grieving for the relationship you thought you would have.
Creating trust and genuine interest in your partner.
The importance of remaining curious.
How some of our coping mechanisms are destructive.
The way things changed when he and his ex-wife moved in together and how much she taught him.
Don't expect you partner to read your mind.
How "understanding" has been a gift.
The "work" will continue throughout our lifetime.

You can contact Stephen at the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center in San Jose, CA.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode I have an opportunity to talk with Laura Schreiner, another AANE certified therapist. Laura is also in a neurodiverse relationship and when her and her spouse discovered he was on the spectrum, she began to ask herself "What About Me?" That question led her to create a support group called "What About Me? (WAM) for neurotypical partners. The group has been meeting for about two years and Laura shares a little bit about the work she is doing with the group.

In addition, Laura shares some of the answers she came up with as she began understanding so much more about her own marriage. She also talks in-depth about how she helps neurodiverse couples gain a better understanding of whether they are in each other's universe, galaxy or solar system and how they can visit each other's planet and communicate well when they come from different planets. Astronomy is a shared interest between her and her husband and that helped guide her to create this assessment process.

Laura also addresses many other important issues including:

The Communication Roundabout.
Conversational intimacy.
The importance of repair.
What is "burden"?
How each partner may be different inside and outside of their love relationship.
Understanding and being aware of where you are in you relationship.
The importance of relaxing your nervous system.
How can both partners get their needs met?
Stay present in the moment. Don't focus on the past before you knew you were neurologically different.
Creating a system to address executive function challenges.

If you live in Illinois, and would like to contact Laura about therapy, or her support group, her website is: www.laurasnc.com and her email is: lucid@laurasnc.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode you will hear from another AANE certified therapist, Constanze Schwaerzer-Dutta. Conni lives in Germany and shares her own self-discovery journey and what made her wonder if she might be autistic. She shares about the challenges she was having in a training for family therapists that made her move forward on pursing an autism diagnosis. As a trainer, consultant and therapist Conni works to understand each person's perspective. When she is counseling neurodiverse couples she serves as a translator and provides a safe space for both partners to learn tools that can help them reduce conflict. During this episode, Conni shares important information about her personal and professional experiences including:

The value of combining problem solving and nurturing. The importance of neurodivergent individuals trusting their own perception. Understanding the fluidity of "gender identity". Practicing "solidarity" as a way to show empathy. The impact of cognitive empathy. How things change when couples do "daily life" together. Spoon theory and having an empty "social account". Cognitive resources change when the relationship progresses. Conversation and language can mean different things to each partner. Learning what makes daily transitions smoother. Speaking under pressure, overthinking and thinking too much and doing too little. Being afraid to ask, guess or get it wrong. Why neurodiverse couples have the same conversation 3 times! Knowing that it is okay to do things in the order that works for you and your partner.

You can contact Conni through her website at: https://autistic-love.de/ or at: https://www.constanzeschwaerzer.de _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode. For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this bonus episode of the podcast, 23 year old autistic filmmaker Louis Bennies talks about his neurodiverse journey. He shares a little about some of the gifts and unique differences his parents saw in him that may have contributed to them moving forward on his ASD/ADHD diagnosis. Louis also shares how his college thesis focused on how autistic people are portrayed in film and tv. Part of his work as a writer, filmmaker and producer is to show the world the many dimensions and strengths of autistic individuals. It makes him sad to see only the stereotypes of autism that are portrayed in film and tv. So he is using his many creative talents and skills to help change that and increase understanding of neurodiversity. Last year, Louis released a wonderful short film called "SIGNALES" that was produced with German speaking actors, but has captions in English. The film is a wonderfully honest example of what a first love can look like, when an autistic young man is interested in a fellow student who is not autistic. Through his film Louis wants people to know how autistic people feel and think in various life situations, including romantic relationships. Louis is a gifted writer, filmmaker and producer and is working on making his short film into a feature film. In the expanded film, he wants to delve deeper into the main characters and show how they deal with more of life's challenges and difficulties. Louis hopes to one day be a studio film director and loves making dramas that show real-life situations, that include conflict that is told in an honest, realistic way. He loves to be moved by movies---and I think anyone that watches "Signales" will be moved by the young couple that is navigating their unique differences and strengths with kindness, compassion and grace.

Check out the short film Signales on Louis Bennies YouTube Channel. You can also follow Louis on IG @mindmaster58 If you are interested in helping to fund the feature length version of Signales, please check out the fundraising page. Thanks everyone:-) _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to contact Mona you can e-mail her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or you can follow her on Instagram @neurodiverse_love You can also check out the resources available at: www.neurodiverselove.com Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode I talk with another AANE Certified Therapist, Kory Chase, LCSW. Kory worked for the school system for 20 years before she started her private practice. She specializes in conducting autism assessments and working with neurodiverse couples and individuals. Kory shares a little bit about her family history with neurodiversity and the journey she was on to find a professional she could trust to conduct an autism assessment for her daughter. During this journey, Kory took a deep dive into gaining more understanding about autistic females, so she could better understand how to support and parent her daughter. We also talk about how to communicate about neurodiversity with other family members and the strength based suggestions she has. In addition, we discuss a lot of other very important topics including:

Trusting and believing when someone shares they are autistic and asking "what is the cost of me believing what I am being told"?
That autistic individuals are often misdiagnosed many times before getting the correct diagnosis.
The importance and value of a diagnosis, or self-identification, and that this is SO much bigger then the DSM!
How it may feel after finally getting the correct assessment.
The value and importance of psycho-education and defining and understanding what success and connection look like to each partner in a neurodiverse relationship.
Understanding how your partner processes hard things and accepting that some things are not intentional.
Neurodiverse couples can become "Power Couples" when they recognize how differences can enhance their relationship.
Defining & understanding "Emotional Connection" and understanding each others love languages.
Importance of knowing & understanding "expectations".
Finding overlapping interests.
The role of solitude in creating calm.
Differences in sex, physical intimacy and relationship dynamics.
Rules in the beginning of a relationship and how they change over time.
The impact of understand intimacy through the lens of movies and porn and the impact of changing sensory sensitivities.
The best thing we can do is ask questions and find people that understand and get us!

You can contact Kory at: www.korychase.com.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Catherine Pfuntner is a certified AANE therapist, a licensed therapist in Hawaii, Massachusetts and New Hampshire and a coach. During this episode Catherine shares the importance of both partners understanding they are "different" not "better" then each other. In addition, we address so many other important issues that can help "build trust and connection" or lead to "misunderstanding" including:

What communicates contempt--even when that isn't the intent?
Antidotes for contempt.
When partners think the other is too logical or emotional.
How to create a culture of appreciation and how each partner may feel about appreciation.
Different ways that each partner may show empathy.
Emotional differences.
The importance of understanding frameworks!!!
Why your partner may view compliments through a "suspicious lens".
How different filters can change the way things are perceived and how perspective impacts SO much!
What "the aftermath of a regrettable incident" is and why repair is so important.
Trigger management is an individual responsibility!
The importance of understanding and appreciating "approximation".
Making "positive" requests for changes.

To contact Catherine you can reach her at 978-674-8539 or at: www.couplestherapyinc.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Laurie Budlong-Morse, another AANE certified therapist, shares how she uses the Collaborative Therapy Model to help neurodiverse couples better understand each other and move toward creating a successful relationship. This model focuses on the importance of dialogue with respect and understanding for multiple voices, so that new possibilities can emerge that wouldn’t have happened without understanding and valuing each persons unique perspective. Other topics discussed are:

Mapping the communication and interaction patterns between the partners. Creating an opportunity for both partners to understand each other’s perspectives-using a neurological lens. Using Dialogue to create Relationship Rubrics that can provide an opportunity to get clarity about what each partner wants, needs, prefers and expects from the other and then they can work together to create a new, more intentional rubric that works for both partners. Unspoken wants and expectations don’t automatically get fulfilled, so creating rubrics can help reduce challenges. Social construction is based on the belief that all of us are operating out of language and frameworks for understanding the world that society has given us and some of them can be flawed and may not apply in neurodiverse relationships. Some frameworks can create shame for both partners because standards are being created by neurotypically trained therapists. Sometimes these tools that are supposed to help couples, can lead to creating more division and anxiety. Some of the issues that can present during therapy and may be a sign that you’re a neurodiverse couple: Different recollections of the same event. Each person is using a completely different "map" based on their neurology. Differences can get hard to reconcile Prioritizing information differently, based on what’s important to each partner. One partner saying "If you would “JUST” and the underlying meaning is: "What I’m asking you to do is easy for my brain, so why can’t you do what would come easily for me? In addition, because you're not doing "IT" that must mean that you really don't love me!!! One or both partners feel like they are on two different teams. In a neurodiverse relationship instead of passing the ball back and forth it looks like you’re both playing on side by side courts. Unique challenges that make occur with family or parent responsibilities. Sensory issues may not be recognized because the neurodivergent partner may not have been given language for sensory sensitivities. Instead, they may have found ways around the sensory issues, without having the language to describe what they are feeling.

If you would like to contact Laurie, you can check out her website at: www.Lauriebmorse.com If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com and use code NeurodiverseLove25 for 25%off the registration fee.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don’t miss an episode. Check out the Neurodiverse Love website at: www.neurodiverselove.com, or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love. For more information about the workshops or online support groups Mona offers for either neurodiverse couples, or neurotypical/non-autistic partners, you can send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Christa Marvenko-Athas is an AANE certified therapist, licensed to provide therapy in Maryland. Christa also provides coaching for neurodiverse couples and pre-marital coaching worldwide. During this episode, Christa provides so much valuable information about how she uses the "development model" to help neurodiverse couples better understand themselves and each other. More specifically she provides information on:

How we need to understand that the only person we can change is ourselves.
How to bring up the issue of "neurodiversity" in your relationship, when your partner is not willing to acknowledge it.
Dealing with grief because some things in the relationship are not going to change.
What it means to take a time out without walking out.
The negative impact of creating a parent-child dynamic in your relationship and how to change this dynamic.
Understanding how both partners use ineffective behaviors-- where they come from, and how to change them.
How to use the "initiator and inquirer" tool to improve communication.
What types of defense mechanisms are creating challenges.
Understanding and reducing triggers.
The importance of expressing empathy and compassion.
Understanding what limerance is at the beginning of a relationship.

If you would like to contact Christa about therapy or coaching you can e-mail her at: christa@christamarvenkoathas.com

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love.
If you are interested in joining one of the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/NT partners, please send Mona a DM or send an e-mail to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.
Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. Please send an email to get info on the cost & meeting dates.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Greg Fuqua came into the counseling profession a few years ago after spending more then 20 years working as a professional artist and teaching at 10 different schools. He is an AANE certified therapist and has been on his own neurodiverse journey for the past few years. During this episode, Greg shares how Internal Family Systems has made a difference in his life and how he uses it to help guide others on their healing journey. Greg also talks about:

His autism discovery and his relationship with himself and how he has reworked his narrative and life.
Some of the challenges he experienced in his marriage and how his wife knew he was autistic, but didn't tell him as she thought it was his journey to discover.
How he had less capacity for perspective taking and empathy because he was stressed out and needed things a certain way.
That the most important thing is your relationship with yourself and how his "self-identification" led to self-empathy.
Letting go of rigidity allowed him to have more space for his emotions.
How his group and family therapist have been resistant to his autism identification.
That you can't change the past, but you can work on growing and improving the way you show up in your relationships with your partner, children and family.
How art and soccer helped him find himself.
The impact of relational trauma prior to identifying as autistic.
That IFS is a relational model for working with yourself and your history and it is the most important tool he has for his autistic clients, as it helps teach relational skills with yourself and others.
That IFS has also helped him create a dialogue and deeper understanding of himself. Including "radical acceptance" of the good intention of his "parts".
Teaching people how important it is to know their bodies and understand when they feel differently and are being "triggered" and their "protective parts" are taking over.
Autistic people being overprotective because of difficulty they may have had fitting in and not being able to read social cues.
Understanding how to give your "parts" enough "space" to be a compassionate witness and learn what is happening inside, and how this can also be applied to other relationships.
Once you have self-empathy, you can have empathy for others. Perspective taking, availability, self-awareness and flexibility can start happening.
How symbolism, metaphors, art, fantastical and spiritual thinking can be helpful.
Neurodiverse couples can begin to reimagine their relationships and create a window of understanding for each other's internal experiences. Creating more compassion, curiosity, and depth of understanding for each other's differences.
Neurodiverse relationships require constant renegotiation with yourself, your romantic partner, and your family.

You can contact Greg at: www.lifeworksdm.com or through his profile on Psychology Today.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode. If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love.

If you are interested in joining one of the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/NT partners, please send Mona a DM or send an e-mail to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. Please send an email to get info on cost & meeting dates.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Margy Wakefield, AANE Certified Therapist & Coach shares the steps neurodiverse couples can practice to improve communication by implementing "Island Visits". This tool can be used after "de-escalation", when both partners have a relaxed nervous system. The key principles and steps are provided below:

Understand that on each island we speak "our own language".
Each island has its own neighborhoods. Each neighborhood focuses on a different area of life: ie: work, family, etc.
In some neighborhoods we both may feel emotionally safe, however in others, we may need to work on creating more emotional safety.
Visit only one neighborhood (issue) when you visit each other's island.
Between the islands there is a space where we "live" and if often gets polluted by stress and our individual behaviors.
The "space between" partners is "sacred" and both partners have a responsibility to keep it from getting polluted.
We can consciously build a "bridge" from one island to the other.
The island host is the the one who wants to discuss an issue with their partner and they invite them to their island.
As a partner "crosses the bridge" to make an island visit, it is important that they become "fully present", so that they can hear and understand what is being addressed.
Use "I" messages during island visits. No naming, blaming or shaming of your partner when you are visiting their island.
Speak in short, concise sentences.
The visitor repeats back what they heard the island host say. They "mirror" what they heard and then can ask: "is that correct?" or "is there more?" or "can you share that in another way, so I can better understand?"
If we get "defensive" or "reactive" we have gone back to our own island and are not fully "present" for our partner.
It takes courage to invite your partner to your island and we have to respect each partner's communication style and processing speed.

If you would like to contact Margy you can check out her website at: margywakefield.com or email her at: margywakefield@gmail.com. Margy also offers two monthly support groups for neurotypical partners. The groups are offered through Zoom and take place on Tuesday afternoons or evenings.

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

On this episode of the podcast, AANE certified therapist, Daniel Dashnaw, from Couples Therapy, Inc. provides important information about how the stories and narratives we create, impact our neurodiverse relationships and our nervous systems. He also addresses how partners may experience a polarity in emotional styles that can lead to a clash around the stories both partners "tell" themselves. Daniel talks about how he helps both partners "slow down" and unpack the stories and narratives to create better understanding and reduce conflict in their relationship. He also shares how he creates structure in conflict and provides couples with concrete tools that can be used to reduce nervous system overwhelm and flooding.

Daniel also addresses:

The challenges of marathon emotional sharing.
The value of "soft start-ups"
How a clash of expectations impacts both partners.
How trauma impacts our brains.
The importance of special interests for re-regulating the nervous system.
Understanding the impact of mind-blindness.
Finding ways to increase understanding of both partner's perspectives.
Cognitive empathy.
The importance of asking: "What kind of relationship do you want to have?; "What kind of partner do you want to be?"; and "What is the distance between the two?"

If you are interested in contacting Daniel you can reach him at: www.couplestherapyinc.com

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Welcome to Episode 1 of Season 4 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. During this season, Mona will focus on a series of in-depth conversations with AANE certified therapists and coaches. Mona is partnering with AANE and the Director of the Peter M. Friedman-Neurodiverse Couples Institute, Grace Myhill, so that more neurodiverse couples, and individuals in neurodiverse relationships, will have access to even more helping professionals throughout the world who understand how "neurology matters". During this episode you will learn why Grace and her colleagues at AANE created the "Neurolology Matters" training and certification for therapists and coaches. You will also learn about the training available for neurodiverse couples or individual partners.

Grace provides information on:

*The Myhill/Jekel Model for Working with Neurodiverse Couples Therapy

*The 3 Core Components of the Model and an overview of each:

Component #1-Recognize

Component #2-Understand

Component #3-Treat

*The length of the training and certification process, as well as the modalities used.

*Who should consider taking the training?

*The type of ongoing support offered to therapists and coaches who complete the training and certification.

*How to find an AANE certified therapist or coach.

*Other resources offered through AANE.org.

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. In addition, please use the discount code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. If you want to contact Grace her e-mail address is: grace.myhill@aane.org

Other AANE certified therapists and coaches that have been guests on the Neurodiverse Love podcast during Season 3 are:

Jill Corvelli-S3-episode 31

Stephanie Holmes-S3-episode 21

Kathy McMahon-S3-episode 25

Michael McNulty-S3-episode 28

Cheryl Rhodes-S3-episode 32

Robin Tate-S3-episode 29

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During Season 4 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast Mona is partnering with AANE. She will be interviewing many of the therapists and coaches that have completed the AANE "Neurology Matters" training and certification through the AANE Peter M. Friedman Neurodiverse Couples Institute. We hope you enjoy hearing from therapists and coaches in the US and Europe who are helping neurodiverse couples increase understanding and connection in their romantic relationships. For more information about the AANE training and certification, please visit: www.AANE.org

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This is the last episode of Season 3 of the podcast and Mona is going solo to introduce "The Neurodiverse Love Relationship G.P.S. (Gaining Perspective for Success)" that she is creating. Most of us use a GPS in our cars to help us get to our desired destinations. However, even though we may know our final destination, there may be traffic jams, or accidents, that prevent us from getting there on time and in the way we had expected.

This is how Mona views Neurodiverse Love relationships. Oftentimes, the relationship we thought we were in may change as we learn more about how neurology impacts our relationship. Throughout our time together, there are many opportunities to better understand ourselves and our partners. Each of these opportunities is a route we can choose to travel. When we decide that our relationship is one of our top priorities, and that we want to increase understanding, awareness and acceptance of the differences, strengths and challenges in our relationships-it can be a game changer! However, even though both partners may want to get to the same destination, (a successful relationship) the route to get there may look very different for each partner. The 12 "possible" routes in the Neurodiverse Love Relationship GPS can be used to help couples think about which roadblocks (misunderstandings) or slow downs (differences) they may want to address to get to their final destination.

Through the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, Mona will be providing more in-depth information on each of the 12 routes in the GPS. So if you haven't subscribed to the newsletter please do so at: www.neurodiverselove.com

The 12 routes in the Neurodiverse Love GPS are:

Understand that each of you can have different perspectives and both be right.
Appreciate and value your partner every day.
Don't take things personal.
Communication means different things to each of you.
Understand each other's socializing needs.
Sharing and understanding emotions can be challenging for anyone.
Get together with your partner on a regular basis to plan, schedule and check-in.
Understand and respect any sensory sensitivities you each may have.
Make decisions together that will impact both of you.
Share and schedule household responsibilities.
Understand each other's physical and sexual intimacy needs and desires.
Follow through and be consistent.

"Can you see me? Can you hear me? Does anything I say mean anything to you"-Oprah Winfrey

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Theresa Regan is a neuropsychologist who has extensive experience working with autistic individuals and neurodiverse couples and she has been trained to work with adolescents, adults and aging adults. During this episode she shares both her personal and professional experiences to help us better understand how to navigate the different seasons of a "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

The topics we address include:

How does the dating relationship change when couples move in together, get married or have children?
How relationship roles and structure can change through dating and beyond
How scripts from tv and film help shape the dating process.
How does masking affect relationship changes?
When a romantic partner becomes a special interest and then another special interest becomes more important.
What is a "just right" state and why can it be such a challenge?
The importance of diagnosis for "self" and "other" awareness.
Understanding roles and what it means to be "wired differently".
Grieving for the relationship that was and accepting what is.
Emotional and sensory overwhelm and understanding and supporting each other's needs.
Being a "detective", rather then a "police officer".
The importance of regular huddles.
Self awareness and body changes as we age in our neurodiverse relationships.

You can contact Dr. Regan at: adultandgeriatricautism@gmail.com or follow her on Instagram at: regan_autism

For information on scheduling an ASD diagnosis appointment, call OSF Healthcare: 309-655-7378. Listen to Dr. Regan's podcast: Autism in the Adult or checkout her website at: www.adultandgeriatricautism.com

You may also want to purchase her books: Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults, 2nd Edition or Understanding Autistic Behaviors

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

On this episode of the podcast, Mona is joined by one of her best friends, Michelle. They both share some of the experiences they have had with men they met on various dating apps who may have been neurodivergent. A recent article in Psychology Today titled "The Rise of Lonely, Single Men. Men Need to Address Their Deficits to Meet Healthier Relationship Expectations", by Greg Matos, PsyD, addressed how women are expecting more emotional intelligence from men.

During this episode, Mona and Michelle discuss how some of the issues addressed in the article may be related to "undiagnosed adult autism". Meeting lots of men in their 40's, 50's and 60's, who have never been married, or are recently divorced and have been in 1 or more marriages with a lot of social and emotional challenges, made us wonder if dating apps make it easier for men "on the spectrum" to date. However, does this also create more challenges for non-autistic/neurotypical women? More specifically, when you both have lots of social and emotional differences, how can you go from misunderstanding and judgment--to curiosity, awareness and acceptance? The conversation takes us down many paths including:

Learning how to "not take things personally"
Communication differences including: slow responses, long well-written texts and temporary ghosting
Black and white thinking
Passion about special interests
Rules and requirements in sexual and physical intimacy
Sensory sensitivities
Mind-blindness
Social quotas
Broken promises
Not engaging in personal or emotional discussions
Why are so many men seeking "no drama"?
Compassion needed by both people

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode you will hear a little about the beautiful love story between Jennifer Cook and Brett Banks. Jennifer Cook was identified as being on the spectrum in 2011. She is the author of 9 bestselling books, the on-camera autistic expert in Netflix's Emmy-nominated series, "Love on the Spectrum-US" and has given presentations at the White House, the National Institute of Health and to royal audiences in Europe. Brett Banks is a Nuclear Licensing Engineer who learned that he was on the spectrum a few years ago, although his ex-wife and daughter had shared this with him many years ago. Brett now knows that "fairy tales" do come true and is living the life he only saw in movies:-). Together, they have 7 kids, a lot of love and understanding and sometimes feel like the same person in two bodies. In their marriage, they both feel safe to be their authentic selves with each other and they are thriving in their "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

During this episode we talk about:

How Jennifer and Brett met
Their autism identification journey
The "family of origin" connections
Feeling things "SO DEEPLY"
Shifting perception
The importance of curiosity
Impact of mind-blindness
Not understanding social cues
Understanding and dealing with triggers
Hope and grace

If you would like to reach out to Jennifer or Brett, feel free to contact them through Jennifer's website at: www.jenniferotooleauthor.com or on Instagram @jennifercook_author

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona and Larry Siegel have an in-depth conversation about ways to better understand and communicate more effectively with your partner about sexual needs and desires. Larry is a Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sexuality Educator and Supervisor, who has been working in this field for over 35 years. He is also the co-host of the YouTube show called "Sex Talk with the Siegel Brothers". During this discussion, we had a very open conversation about SO many topics that neurodiverse couples may be experiencing, but haven't been given the tools to address. This is an episode that you and your partner may want to listen to together, as we get real on the issues below... and many more.

Understanding why and when your sexual relationship changed.
How sex becomes the casualty when others needs aren't being met.
Understanding and explaining how important sex and physical intimacy are when communication styles are different.
The importance of defining explicitly what you both need and want.
Using safe and code words when something doesn't feel good or work well.
Sensory sensitivities and physical & sexual intimacy.
The importance of understanding your partners sexual history.
Masturbation, porn and fantasies.
Sex is supposed to be fun!!!!

If you want to contact Larry Siegel you can email him at: proflasiegel@gmail.com or follow him on Facebook at: SexTalkWithTheSiegelBrothers/

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona talks with Charles, who is a social worker who works in the field of alcohol and substance use. Charles is 27 years old and recently discovered that he is autistic. He shared that he calls himself an "intuitive autistic" and talks about how those gifts and talents help him better understand the clients with whom he works. Charles also talks about how his life might have been different had he known he was autistic. Charles shares how he is looking at various life events and social situations through a neurodiverse lens, to help gain more understanding of why people have responded to him the way they did. Charles also talks about some of the challenges he has experienced with reading social cues and the nuances of social communication, and how important it is to be able to gauge and understand peoples responses and reactions when he communicates with others.

If you are interested in talking with Charles please feel free to send Mona an email, at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com, and she will forward your message to Charles.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Mona joined Natalie Roberts and Heather Parks from the Loving Difference Online Community on their "Myth-busting" podcast to bust some myths we may have all experienced in our neurodiverse relationships. During this episode we discuss debunking the following myths:

1) We don't just have to "survive", we can "thrive" in our current relationship, (or choose to move on and create a life in which we can thrive with another partner...or by ourselves).

2) We don't all communicate in the same way, or at the same speed.

3) We don't need to have a happy relationship to be happy.

4) A change in (or lack of) sexual and physical intimacy may not mean your partner is not attracted to you.

5) Relationships should be easy.

If you would like to connect with Natalie and Heather, you can check out their on-line community and podcast at: www.lovingdifference.net

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Cheryl Rhodes has been an LMFT for almost 40 years and has spent many years working with families with autistic children and neurodiverse couples. During this episode, she talks openly about her neurodiverse family (her daughter is autistic) and how critical it is for us to understand the history of the term “Neurodiversity” and to focus on both the strengths and differences in everyone...and she talks in-depth about both. During her career, Cheryl has worked with many couples in “high conflict” relationships and she shared that she was in a high conflict marriage that ended. She also understands the stress that these relationships can cause on partners and the family, and how important it is to use the best strategies and tools to reduce conflict. Cheryl addresses the social communication challenges that might occur in a neurodiverse relationship and how important it is for both partners to regulate emotion and anxiety. In addition, Cheryl talks about the ways she helps partners learn how to speak the same language. "Social Pragmatics", which includes non-verbal communication and cues, can create many communication challenges for couples. Both the receiver and the sender need to understand each other and determine the most comfortable way for them to receive and deliver communication. Both partners need to learn how to state explicitly what they want or need, however, sometimes one partner just doesn't know how to give the other partner what they want (or need) and Cheryl works to bridge that communication gap. When we can’t "Perceive, Receive or Process" information take a time out. Come up with a code word and make an agreement to stop when one partner uses the code word. Processing speed can be very different for both partners. Slow down the speed of your communication and limit the number of concepts or sentences you are each using. Cheryl also addresses how some intimacy issues are actually sensory issues that may not have been addressed through a sensory lens. Being able to shift your perspective and understand that the other person may see (and feel) something different, or have a different view is critically important. Understanding each other’s thoughts, feelings and intentions and being able to read each other’s cues can be a game changer! Cheryl discusses the importance of respecting the other persons perspective without judgement and how this can lead to a softening, or a shift, in your partner's response. We also discuss the importance of recognizing the traits that are based on neurology, and which are part of your personality, or other health or mental health issues. Cheryl briefing talks about gaslighting. addictions, and abuse and how dysregulation and anxiety may be an underlying factor for some of these issues. If you want to reach Cheryl and learn more about her practice "My Rhodes Map", her phone number is: 470-956-0500 or you can email her at: Cheryl.rhodes22@gmail.com You can also get more information about the support groups Cheryl offers at Spectrum Partner Support Groups.

If anyone listening to this podcast is experiencing abuse, please contact the local domestic violence agency, or call the national hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

_____________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Jill Corvelli has created "The Corvelli ND Compass", and she talks about how this model guides her work with neurodiverse couples, as well as how she is using the “Compass” to help neurodiverse couples better understand how they both navigate through time and space. The model focuses on three core components and each is critical to moving from misunderstanding and challenges, to understanding and acceptance. During this episode, Jill shares how her Compass helps couples increase "education" about each other, so they can come up with a playbook that helps them bridge different styles. How "Niche Construction", helps both partners better understand the rituals, behaviors and practices that are important in their relationship. Increase understanding of "Developmental Change" and how couples move from "bonding", during the initial phase of their "love relationship” to "differentiation", where they are often activating each other, as they work on making space for their differences. Jill also talks about how challenging it can be when "reactivity" becomes an ongoing issue and then partners are chronically going into "flight, fright or flee" mode. She provides ways in which to address this and talks about how triggering this can be to both partners. We also talk about the challenge of "pseudo-motivation", when one partner is not fully committed to working on themselves, or the relationship, and how Jill can help address and possibly change this. Jill also talks about how important it is for her take a leadership role when she begins working with a neurodiverse couple and how she works to ensure that the couple is skilled at using the most valuable techniques and tools because they have educated themselves, engaged in niche construction and understand the developmental changes that have occurred in their relationship. She also talks about the importance of both partners doing work between sessions, so that small and consistent changes can occur. We also review some of the assessment tools and processes Jill uses to better understand each couple she works with; the importance of understanding each other's values; and getting a better understanding of how each partner contributes to making it difficult for their partner to give them what they want. We end this outstanding episode with a brief discussion about sexual intimacy and with Jill sharing how important it is for neurodiverse couples, and the therapists and coaches working with them, to have hope that neurodiverse couples can thrive and learn how to have a healthy relationship that can meet the needs of both partners. To contact Jill you can check out her website at: www.jillcorvelli.com. On her website you can also find more information about her self-study courses, her 12 hour intensives and the groups she offers on 6 different topics. You can also purchase her self-study courses at: www.neuroific.com.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Jen Malia is an author, professor, autism advocate, wife and mom who received her autism diagnosis on the same day as her daughter. She writes about this experience in her New York Times article. Jen shares openly how challenging it was for her to get diagnosed and unfortunately, so many other autistic women will probably relate to her story. Jen had done lots of research, seen various professionals who dismissed her requests for an assessment, however her persistence paid off when she met with a caring, knowledgeable clinical psychologist who properly assessed and diagnosed her.

Jen shares openly and honestly about how her husband responded to her and her children's diagnoses and how they have worked together to create balance and happiness as a neurodiverse family. Her and her husband give each other a lot more space and grace, and have learned how to focus on their own strengths and self-care needs. In addition, they have created access to resources and opportunities for each of their autistic children.

Jen also shares how she suffers from migraines and prior to her diagnosis she ended up hospitalized with a potentially life threatening medical issue. After her diagnosis she realized that "autistic burnout" may have been a contributing factor to the hospitalization, which required a month of recovery.

If you would like to follow Jen her handle on Twitter and Instagram is Jenmaliabooks. You can also connect with her on LinkedIn or check out her website at: www.jenmalia.com. Her children's book "Too Sticky: Sensory Issues with Autism" is available wherever books are sold:-)

Note from Mona: No one should have to go through life fighting to be heard, understood and accepted, however this challenge is one that so many undiagnosed autistic adults (and especially women and non-binary people) experience.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards are available for purchase. If you would like to buy a deck, please check out the "Conversation Cards" page on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona talks with Life Coach-Robin Tate. Robin shares how important it is for her to continuously compliment the successes and strengths of the neurodiverse couples she works with and to remind both partners how their brains are "equal and different". She also discusses communication differences and the importance of addressing "perspective taking" during arguments and for both partners to remember their "on the same team". Robin also shares how literal language and weak central coherence can sometimes cause unintentional misunderstandings and flooding that can lead to shutdowns or meltdowns (flight or fright response).

We also address how physical, emotional and verbal abuse can become a reality in some relationships because of continued flooding, misunderstanding and unresolved conflict. We also discuss how codependency and addictions can look in neurodiverse relationships and how each can impact both partners.

We address some very emotional, but important issues throughout this episode. I hope this discussion can give couples an opportunity to address the importance of understanding themselves individually and in relationship to their partner, so they can both work to reduce misunderstanding and conflict and increase understanding and appreciation of each other's differences.

Some of the issues we discuss in this episode may be triggers for some of our listeners, so we want to make sure that those of you who do not feel safe in your relationship know that you can contact the national domestic violence hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). In addition, if you need help getting treatment for an addiction please call SAMHSA's National Helpline at: 1-800-662- HELP (4357).

In addition, there are several white papers on neurodiverse relationships that may be of interest to some of our listeners. They can be found at: https://mixedneurological.com/white-papers/

If you are interested in learning more about the research Dr. Pnina Arad has done regarding the physical and mental well being of women in neurodiverse relationships you can download her recent article at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/359343205_Physical_and_Mental_Well-Being_of_Women_in_Neurodiverse_Relationships_A_Comparative_Study

If you want to contact Robin you can e-mail her at: RobinTateLLC@gmail.com, connect with her on LinkedIn, or check out her website at: www.robintatellc.com

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This is another fantastic episode for both partners in a Neurodiverse Love relationship to listen to. After 40 years of research, John and Julie Gottman have helped thousands of couples better understand each other and implement tools and strategies that can help them move from surviving to thriving. During this episode, we talk with Dr. Michael McNulty, a certified Gottman Therapist and Master Trainer of the Gottman Method, to understand how some of these research-based strategies and tools can help you and your partner better understand each other and thrive!

Many of you may have heard of "The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling" and how each can have a negative impact on any relationship. During this episode, Dr. McNulty, guides us through the "anecdotes" for each of the "Horseman". In addition, you will learn more about ways to create "soft start-ups" instead of criticizing your partner. How important it is to "take responsibility" for the things that you have said or done, rather then reacting and being defensive. We also discuss the value of talking about yourself, your needs and feelings, rather then speaking badly about your partner and treating them with contempt. In addition, you will learn how important it is to "take breaks" when one of you is feeling overwhelmed and flooded. This can help prevent "stonewalling" and what others may call "shutdowns" or "burnout". We also talk about important ways to forecast or plan "re-entry back into the home" after a day of work. Using this Gottman strategy can help reduce or prevent meltdowns and shutdowns. In addition, we talk about the importance of a weekly "State of the Union" meeting with your partner, to discuss what has gone well, what needs improvement and ways in which to address things differently. This tool can help couples better understand each others needs and differences.

Dr. McNulty also briefly introduces the concepts the Gottman's developed called the "Sound Relationship House" and "Love Maps" and why they are important for every couple to understand.

You can reach Dr. McNulty by email at: mikemcnultyphd@gmail.com or through his website at: www.chicagorelationshipcenter.com

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode Matthew shares a little bit about his career in writing and the work he is doing in film and tv. In addition, he talks about the path he took to get an autism diagnosis in his 40's. He shares how his literal communication style has been both a strength and a challenge in his relationships and why his doctor once called him an "extrapolation engine". Matthew is divorced, has 3 children and shares a little about how he managed some of the aspects of family life and the experiences he has had with some of his other romantic relationships. Matthew also shares how he was diagnosed as hyperactive in elementary school and received many other diagnoses along the way, however autism had not even been a passing thought, until a friend (and her mother) suggested that he might be autistic. Mathewt began to read more about autism and then went to see several therapists who both told him that that they thought he was autistic. Matthew shares openly how his autism journey unfolded, as well as the advice he would give to others who may be on their own neurodiverse path.

If you would like to contact Matthew, you can reach him on Instagram @the_other_tin_dog (The Disaster Autist)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Moshe and Tobi didn't know that Tobi was autistic when they first met and they couldn't make sense of some of the challenges they were experiencing in their marriage. While still newlyweds, Tobi has been officially diagnosed and they are now expecting their first baby this month.

During this episode, this loving couple talk about how Tobi's diagnosis has changed everything for the better. Their communication has improved exponentially, they focus on each other strengths and are always trying to find ways to better understand themselves and each other. In addition, they have learned that Tobi's sensory sensitivities have been very heightened during pregnancy. Conversations with her OB/GYN about her needs during pregnancy and childbirth have not been well received. We talked about how this is an area that requires further education and advocacy, so that physicians understand (and believe) the needs of their autistic patients.

Moshe also shares how understanding more about their neurology helped him understand then when Tobi didn't want to process her day it wasn't because she "didn't care", she just didn't have anything to share, so she didn't ask about his day. On the other hand, Tobi didn't understand that spending hours on the couch in "parallel play" was not enough for Moshe and he needed some type of interaction together (ie: playing a game) to feel that his needs were being met.

Tobi also talks about how emotional and sensory overload can lead to a non-verbal shutdown and now that Moshe understands what is happening and why, he can make sure that Tobi's needs are met until she is able to verbally communicate with him again.

Together, Moshe and Tobi are addressing the best way to make decisions that impact them as a couple, how to divide up the household chores that can create sensory overload for Tobi, and the best way to create a work/life balance as they prepare for their newborn to join their lives.

It is always wonderful to hear how neurodiverse couples are able to increase grace, compassion and understanding to create hope, joy and a life filled with love and patience. No relationship is ever going to be perfect, but "when we know better, we can both do better":-)

NOTE: The phone app that Tobi uses when she is non-verbal is called "Tell me" and is available for Android users. The "text to speech" app may also be another option for I-phone users.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This is another fantastic episode for both partners in a Neurodiverse Love relationship to listen to together. Dr. K. is a Board Certified Gottman Therapist and talks about the importance of knowing that Dr. John Gottman's research has shown that 69% of our challenges in romantic relationships are due to things that won't change. However, understanding ourselves and our partners better can help us learn which problems are "perpetual" and which are "solvable". She shares how important it is for both partners to know when they have reached their limits socially, emotionally or in other areas of life. Dr. K. also provides valuable strategies for managing triggers that may lead to meltdowns or burnout. She also talks about the strengths of neurodiverse relationships and how both partners will need to adapt and change and have better social and communication skills. Dr. K. also talks about how factual, clear communication can be helpful for both partners to learn and grow and how important it is for partners to respond positively to attempts to "turn toward" each other when one wants more time together. You will also learn about how all relationships have "poop in the pipes" and there are proactive, healthy ways of dealing with that. Since Dr. Gottman's research has shown that 69% of the things that bother us and cause challenges in our romantic relationships will never go away, how can you and your partner learn to value each other's strengths, accept and understand each other's differences and move beyond the immovable issues to make for a healthier relationship. Dr. K. provides some great tools for helping couples do exactly that!

You can reach Dr. K. at: www.couplestherapyinc.com

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this fantastic episode, Mona has an opportunity to talk to two amazing researchers who are in the UK doing groundbreaking work to better understand autistic adults intimate lives. Monique Huysamen and Marianthi Kourti share some of the findings from their phenomenal qualitative research study that is focused on learning what autistic adults want and need in their intimate lives. This study included an analysis of a multitude of government documents on autism, interviews with 20 autistic individuals and on-line focus groups with 50 autistics individuals.

Learn more about what the autistic adults shared: what they like, what they want to be different and what some of their challenges have been. Many of the adults shared how they didn't know how to do relationships or intimacy because they had no guidance. Unfortunately, as autistic children become adults they may feel more isolated and begin to lose some of the supports they had through school and government agencies. Some of the participants talked about both the challenges and joy of sensory differences and understanding both. Others addressed how they might be more comfortable exploring in different ways in their intimate lives. In addition, others shared the importance of finding a community where they could feel safe and comfortable. For some, this might be in the BDSM or Kink community, where the communication patterns were more direct and the boundaries clearly stated.

In the future, Monique and Marianthi will be creating toolkits for the autistic partners and non-autistic/neurotypical partners to help more autistic adults and their partners live their best intimate lives.

Note: we apologize for the technical challenges we had during this episode. We were also disconnected from one of the guests at about 1/3 of the way through the episode, but were able to reconnect with them.

You can contact Monique and Marianthi through the SAAIL website at: https://autlives.wixsite.com/research or on Twitter @autspace

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Candice and Chris have a special, deep love for each other and couldn't understand why they kept having SO many communication challenges and misunderstandings in their relationship. As Candice began to get feedback from Chris and her colleagues, she realized that she needed a way to communicate better. Based on a look back at some of her past and current challenges she began to suspect she was autistic and moved forward on a formal diagnosis. After her diagnosis, everything changed for her and her husband Chris. Candice calls Chris her "special interest" as she shares some of the things she not only understands better, but that she and Chris have worked on improving individually and in their marriage, so that they can thrive in all areas of life.

Working from a place of grace, compassion, and curiosity Candice and Chris have learned so many positive strategies for better communication and implemented lots of effective tools and strategies that have helped them create a healthy relationship, that is filled with lots of humor and understanding. Candice is a therapist and Chris is a coach who is working on getting his Ph.D. in psychoneuroimmunology. Together, this amazing couple are shifting the paradigm for neurodiverse couples by inspiring hope, providing training, coaching and therapy and sharing information through "Fabulously Candice-The Sexiest Podcast About Neurodivergence".

Both Candice and Chris have done IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy and understand how their "parts" have impacted their lives and their relationship. They are also Gottman certified and use both of these therapeutic modalities and the tools in each, to create a thriving, healthy relationship for themselves, as well as many of the individuals and couples they work with at "Namaste Center For Healing.

We end this episode discussing porn addiction and sexual sensitivities and the ways in which Candice and Chris work with couples to heal from betrayal through porn. We also address how they can help couples move forward to create a healthy sex life and a trusting relationship. This is definitely another important episode that can be very helpful for both partners to listen to individually and/or together. It was such a pleasure getting to talk to this awesome couple and I hope you will check out the services and resources they have available by checking out the websites below.

To contact Candice and Chris go to: www.namasteadvice.com

You can also learn more about Candice at: www.candicechristiansen.com

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse relationships or to purchase a deck on the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards please check out:

The Neurodiverse Love website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
The Neurodiverse Love Instagram page: @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please send a DM on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Many of us would love to turn our special interests or passion into paid employment, however that isn't always possible. During this episode, Mona, Heather and Natalie talk about the challenges they experienced in school and employment and how they have worked to create ways to use their gifts and talents through paid employment, volunteering or hobbies. They also share some of the challenges and experiences their partners/ex-partners have experienced, as well as their children. They address the things they wish employers and our society could do differently to support everyone's strengths and meet their needs, so that more people could be successful and supported in school and in the workplace.

Whether you are unemployed, underemployed, employed at a job you like (but don't love) or have been able to turn your passion or special interest into paid employment, this is a don't miss episode. Knowing your needs and being able to ask for them in your personal and professional relationships can be the key to success. However, how do you begin to understand your needs and be able to effectively communicate them to others in a way that you will be heard and understood, rather then ignored, judged or misunderstood? During this episode we talk about all these issues!

Your well-being is SO important! Learn how to become the CEO of your own "Department of Well-Being" and take small steps to do the things you love and are most passionate about. Share this information with your partner, friends, family and mentors and hopefully one day, more people in the world will be doing what they love, sharing their gifts and talents with the world and living lives that are filled with the things that bring them peace and joy.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse relationships, please check out:

The Neurodiverse Love website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
The Neurodiverse Love Instagram page: @neurodiverse_love
The Loving Difference on-line community at: https://www.lovingdifference.net

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please send a DM on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This is another fantastic episode that neurodiverse couples may want to listen to together! Stephanie and Dan Holmes have known each other since they were 10 and have been married almost 30 years. After their daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's in the mid-2000’s, Stephanie read about adults on the spectrum and realized that her husband was autistic too (he already suspected he was). Prior to learning about their neurodiversity, Stephanie thought a lot of their miscommunication and struggles occurred because Dan is very intelligent. However, once they learned he was autistic, so many challenging things started to make more sense. Through the years, Stephanie and Dan have learned that they don't have to stay in gender roles to have a healthy relationship and instead have focused on using their individual strengths and complimentary skills to help their family thrive. Dan says he is more like a crockpot and Stephanie is more like a microwave and because they understand each other's differences, they are able to give each other grace and kindness as they navigate life together. During our conversation, Stephanie described a neurodiverse relationship like a game of "Chutes and Ladders", rather then chess or checkers and that made so much sense! Although there may be lots of unexpected ups and downs, when you both understand they will occur, the end result can be very positive. Stephanie is a therapist and Dan is a life coach and together they work with neurodiverse couples that can benefit from both of their perspectives. To add credibility to his work with neurodiverse couples, Dan got an official diagnosis and sees that as tool to help other autistic partners who want to improve their love relationships. Stephanie talked about the importance of trust in a neurodiverse relationship and how trust can be broken when partners don't understand each other. In her work as a therapist she has learned that the process of rebuilding trust has to involve learning new skills to avoid creating more trauma. Repetitive positive behavior is critical, otherwise the past is not the past, it is still the present! Dan talks about how important it is to see the the action behind the desire. He no longer believes people when they use the words “I want to” unless he see’s the action follow the words.

Dan and Stephanie founded the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages, LLC to bring hope, help and possible healing to neurodiverse Christian marriages and they use the a three phase process to help 1) Educate, 2) Equip and 3) Provide Effective Strategies to neurodiverse couples who are looking for support and resources on their neurodiverse journey. To learn more about Stephanie and Dan you can check out their website at: christianneurodiversemarriage.com or listen to their podcast: Neurodiverse Christian Couples.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards are available for purchase. If you would like to buy a deck, please check out the "Conversation Cards" page on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

Also, if you liked this episode, please rate it and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don’t miss any future episodes.

If you would like to learn more about the resources we have available for neurodiverse couples, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

If you haven't read "The Autism Relationship Handbook and The Autism Relationship Workbook by Joe Biel and Dr. Faith Harper" you will definitely want to order copies of both after this episode. Joe is the founder of Microcosm Publishing in Oregon and Faith is a therapist is Texas. Working together for a number of years, they have partnered on several books and even have the same birthday. Joe shares his lived experience and expertise as a coach, mentor and business owner in a healthy Neurodiverse Love relationship and Faith shares her lived experience as a parent of a neurodiverse child and her expertise as a therapist and sexologist.

During this episode, we talk about the importance of presuming "best intent" in your neurodiverse relationship and how critical it is to name and get granular about your boundaries and needs. We also talk about the 4 levels of communication and how each couple is usually getting stuck in one (or more) levels. Getting clarity about this and shifting perspective can reduce the "communication roundabout" some couples find themselves in. We also talk about physical intimacy, dealing with sensory differences and how to move from masking, struggling and being misunderstood to striving and thriving with a partner who truly appreciates and values you.

Whether you are the autistic or allistic (non-autistic) partner in the relationship, this is a "don't miss episode. Joe and Faith provide SO many nuggets of gold that you may want to listen to this episode twice!

WARNING: This episode is labeled "explicit" because at the end of the episode we talk about sexual intimacy and some books that have titles that may be considered explicit to some.

If you would like to contact Joe Biel you can follow him on Instagram @joebiel or check out his website at joebiel.net or Microcosm Publishing at: www.microcosmpublishing.com

If you would like to contact Faith Harper you can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @theintimacydr or check out her website at: www.faithgharper.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards are available for purchase. If you would like to buy a deck, please check out the "Conversation Cards" page on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode Mona and Manecia talk about a topic that may be difficult for both the autistic and non-autistic partners to hear, but is important to address, because it is something that has happened in both of their relationships (and may be happening in yours).

No one wants to feel like they have to parent their partner, however acknowledging that this may be happening and talking about ways in which the non-autistic/neurotypical partner can ask before stepping in to help (or parent) can be SO helpful. Some people might call this type of "support" co-dependency or enmeshment, however in a neurodiverse relationship, when support is valued and provided because of challenges with executive function, social and emotional differences or sensory sensitivities, it can also create a partnership that helps both partners thrive.

Mona shares that when her and her ex were talking outside the courthouse as they were planning to file for divorce, her ex said to her that she had two children, even though they only had one child. Mona's response was that she hadn't wanted to be her ex-husband's parent, she had wanted to be his partner! This conversation was both sad and enlightening at the same time.

Mona and Manecia talk openly about how important it is to let go of assumptions and the need to "help" when we haven't been asked and how sometimes our embarrassment, does not mean we need to solve a problem that is not ours to solve.

How can we stop parenting our partners, when we think they are awkward, anxious or angry and instead offer to help without "needing" to help? Mona and Manecia share the lessons they have learned on their neurodiverse journey's and hope this episode brings some "aha" moments for the listeners.

The Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards are available for purchase. If you would like to buy a deck, please check out the "Conversation Cards" page on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.
If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this short bonus episode of the podcast, Mona shares “WHY” she created the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, “HOW” they can be used so that each partner can feel safe to share their needs and wants, and “WHAT” can be achieved when both partners come from a place of grace and compassion. Mona's parents were in a Neurodiverse Love marriage for over 40 years and never knew. In addition, she didn't know she was in a neurodiverse relationship until the 29th year of her 30 year marriage. By creating and releasing the cards, Mona hopes more neurodiverse couples will feel valued, heard and appreciated and gain understanding of each others strengths and differences. When we know better, we CAN do better! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to purchase a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards please check out the "Conversation Cards” page on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM Mona on IG, or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Eva is a psychotherapist, an ASD specialist and the author of several books, including "Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder).-Successful Strategies for Couples or Counselors. During this episode Eva shares so much valuable information for both partners in a Neurodiverse Love relationship. Our conversation addresses ways to avoid meltdowns and shutdowns; how to address or change expectations; getting your needs met and doing things together that work well for both partners. We also talk about physical and sexual intimacy, ways in which to get accountability, the value of medication for some and the impact of trauma in the intimate relationship. Eva also addresses the importance of understanding and addressing the root cause of emotional challenges, giving each other time to work through your emotions and how to address sensory sensitivities that can impact physical intimacy. This episode provides so much valuable information for both partners in a neurodiverse relationship. Eva is also the author of: Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism-Voices from Across the Spectrum and she has a new book being published soon. You can learn more about Eva through her website at: www.eva-mendes.com or contact her at: eva@eva-mendes.com ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Alix and Roy share so many of the lessons they have learned together since their friendship began in 2008. After building a wonderful friendship for 5 years they started dating in 2013 and have been married since 2018. Alix shares opening about her misdiagnosis and how at 13 she was placed in a facility that led to trauma that continues to impact her today. Alix also talks about her resiliency and strength and the way in which she and Roy have grown together in their relationship. Both Roy and Alix share some of the strategies they use to support each other during difficult times and how understanding their differences and their individual needs has created a loving partnership. This is a very powerful episode that may be triggering to some of our listeners who have experienced a misdiagnosis and the trauma that can occur when that happens. Please take this into consideration when listening to this episode. If you want to learn more about Alix please check out her YouTube video: Undiagnosed Autism: Alix's Journey. You can also follow her on Instagram @generousalix or check out her website at: alixgenerous.com

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our websiteat: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Our triggers provide opportunities for us to heal and grow or they continue to create situations that we react to, rather then respond to. Unfortunately, this can create lots of resentment and anger, as well as unintentional pain and hurt. During this episode, Mona and Manecia talk about the triggers they have had in their neurodiverse relationships and how some of those are connected to unresolved issues in their family of origin. They also talk about how they have reduced their "reactions" to various triggers because they understand themselves better. Instead of getting triggered and holding on to anger and resentment they are choosing to respond to themselves and their partners with more grace and compassion.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our websiteat: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Sira Busch received her formal autistic diagnosis a year ago and during this podcast episode she and her partner Marcel share their lived experience before and after the diagnosis. They were both interested in math and that was one of the things that attracted them to each other. Sira talks about the relationship she has had with herself for the last 28 years and how she fully accepted all the differences she saw, even though others may not have understood them. Sira shares how she was often observing her feelings and herself through her own beautiful lens. Sira wants to go on adventures alone and enjoys observing life in her own way. Marcel and Sira both do power building and love sharing that common interest. They talk about the way in which they make their meal time together work, the importance of Sira's routines and how they each treasure their own individual rooms and space, but have also created ways in which they can both have quality time together. Sira addresses the accomodations she needed at work, but didn't get, and how that created some challenges with employment. This is another wonderful episode that you may want to listen to with your partner. Sira and Marcel have found such a beautiful flow that works for both of them to get their needs met, understand each other's routines and view their neurodiversity as a gift that gives them opportunities to grow as individuals and as a couple. Sira just published a book on norms and stereotypes . The book is in German, but if you want to check it our here are 2 links to her book: https://www.lektora.de/buecher/weltbilder/ https://www.amazon.co.uk/Weltbilder-Normen-Stereotype-Gleichberechtigung-verhindern/dp/3954612267 You can also follow Sira on Instagram @omnomnomknusper _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Do you wonder why your partner doesn't understand your needs? Do you have challenges communicating your boundaries effectively in your Neurodiverse Love relationship? Do you know what emotional intelligence is and how it can help you communicate more effectively with your partner? These are some of the important topics that Paul Micallef addresses in this fantastic podcast episode!

Paul has had a successful career as an engineer and from a young age he had an interest in emotional intelligence (EI) and has spent his life becoming an expert in this area. Diagnosed at 30, Paul started sharing his autistic journey on social media through his channel Asperger's from the Inside. Through his numerous YouTube videos, coaching sessions and courses, he has provided guidance to SO many people who are also on a neurodiverse journey. Through his on-line work, Paul serves as a translator and helps autistic and non-autistic people better understand the strategies and tools they can both use to understand how to let go of unconscious expectations!

Paul provides his EI courses on-line to help those who have a logical, rational brain understand the skills they need to increase their emotional intelligence. Paul also shares the strategies he uses to thrive in life and his neurodiverse relationship. Being open about his lived experience and sharing his expertise, Paul is helping neurodivesre couples around the world learn how to understand themselves and each other better This is another insightful, valuable episode that you may want to listen to with you partner. Enjoy!

If you want to learn more about the fantastic work Paul is doing, please check out his website at: www.paulmicallef.com.au

You can also check out his YouTube channel at: Aspergers from the Inside

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

When Stephanie Bethany married her husband at 19 she didn't know she was autistic, however when she was diagnosed at 23, things began to make more sense. Working together she and her husband have grown and learned so much. During this episode, Stephanie shares how understanding neurodiversity has helped her and her husband let go of so many misunderstandings they had in the earlier years of their relationship and marriage. They both have a better understanding of each other's intentions and know that they are there to help and "de-code" things for each other. Stephanie shares openly the ways in which she has reduced her feelings of being overwhelmed at family functions and social events because she knows her limits and when she needs time to decompress. She is able to advocate for herself in most situations and is comfortable asking for accommodations when she needs them. She also talks about how she is working on creating a schedule that not only includes her work and school commitments, but quality time with her husband. In addition, she shares how she is learning how to deal better with emotional shutdowns and periods of feeling overwhelmed.

During this episode Stephanie and Mona share lots of laughs and discuss how important grace, compassion and love are when your partner is having trouble speaking during emotional times and also may have challenges with processing emotions. This is another important episode that neurodiverse couples may want to listen to together.

You can find Stephanie on YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/stephaniebethany or check out her website at: www.stephaniebethany.com

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please, also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

It was a pleasure to talk with Dan Jones, the creator of The Aspie World about how he is thriving in life and in his Neurodiverse Love relationship. When Dan was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 26, he didn't know what that meant and began searching for information that would help him better understand his diagnosis. After finding limited content about neurodiversity and adult autism, he decided that he wanted to share his story and the lessons he was learning on his journey and he created The Aspie World. Dan's positive attitude and energy is contagious! During this episode, he shared that he is always finding new things to learn and discover and doing this helps him reduce depression. What a great strategy!

Dan and his partner have a young son together and they have created a family life that provides opportunities for them to share quality time as a couple and a family. Dan makes parenting and his romantic relationship a top priority and shares some of the lessons he has learned to show he cares. This episode is filled with SO many awesome lessons learned and opportunities for neurodiverse couples to better understand each other. Listen to this episode with your partner and find new ways to connect and focus on the strengths you both have and bring to the relationship.

Follow Dan on social media on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter @theaspieworld, or check out his website: www.theaspieworld.com to learn about all the resources and products he has available.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. Please, also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This is the first collaborative podcast between members of the "Neurodiverse Love" team and the "Loving Difference" team. We will be doing collaborative podcast episodes throughout the year and look forward to sharing our different perspectives and the lived experiences we have had, as we all address both the strengths and differences in our neurodiverse relationships. During this episode, Mona, Natalie and Heather share soae of the differences they noticed in their love relationships, that others did not experience. In addition, they go deep on how important emotional boundaries are to reduce anger and resentment and how meeting your own needs and finding the things that bring you joy and peace, can move you towards reducing loneliness and depression. There is also a lot of great discussion about what really impacted us and our partners in our neurodiverse relationships and how we had to "become the change we wanted to see", to start creating the love relationships we wanted.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse relationships, please check out:

The Neurodiverse Love website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
The Neurodiverse Love Instagram page: @neurodiverse_love
The Loving Difference on-line community at: https://www.lovingdifference.net

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please send a DM on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Leslie Sickels, LCSW shares so many important strategies for creating a strength based, successful "Neurodiverse Love" relationship. Leslie talks about how important it is to ground your relationship in neurodiversity and understand that having different brains means each partner will have an opportunity to learn and grow in ways that will help them succeed individually and in their relationship. She talks about the importance of communicating what you need from your partner in conversations. For example: Do you need support or problem solving?; and what happens when you are clear with your partner about what you need to help to reduce conflict and misunderstanding. We also discuss the value of planning. Why planning can also create challenges and how to address this conundrum to reduce anxiety and other challenges. We also discuss how partners can have different "social quotas" and the ways in which each partner can get their quota met without feeling overextended. Leslie also shares the importance of understanding "spoon theory" and how this can help reduce autistic burnout, meltdown and shutdown. Whether you are the autistic or non-autistic partner in the relationship, Leslie provides valuable strategies for creating a relationship that is filled with respect, trust and validation. To contact Leslie about the services she offers for neurodiverse couples please check out her website at: http://www.lesliesickelslcsw.com/ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Valerie Gaus is a clinical psychologist whose focus is on treating mental health issues in adults with autism spectrum disorder, including depression, anxiety, stress and trauma. She is also the author of "Living Well on the Spectrum. How to Use Your Strengths to Meet the Challenges of Asperger Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism" and "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Second Edition"

During this episode, Valerie talks about the circuitous route her career took to put her on the path to begin working with autistic adults. She also focuses on how communication is the key to "any" successful relationship and how many neurodiverse couples may need to create a "third language" so that they can communicate effectively and understand each other. She also discusses the results of an important study that highlighted the most critical factor to predicting that romantic relationships will be successful.

Dr. Gaus also talks about how important it is for both partners to make "some changes" and be willing to do "uncomfortable things" to move from "struggling to thriving". She also shares how destructive shame can be in a love relationship. She addresses how a partner may feel when they are repeatedly told they are not meeting their loved ones expectations, and why dealing with that shame is a critical step to move forward to create a healthy relationship

For more information on the counseling and coaching services Dr. Gaus offers, you can contact her through her website at: http://www.drvaleriegaus.com/

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Please also take a minute to rate the podcast.

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free onlineNeurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, two of the most well-known experts in autism and neurodiverse relationships, Professor Tony Attwood and Dr. Michelle Garnett, share key tips and tools that will help both partners thrive in a Neurodiverse Love relationship There are so many nuggets of gold in this conversation, that we hope neurodiverse couples will listen to this episode together. Whether you are trying to understand each other's communication differences; wondering whether using texts, emails or sharing songs, will work better to express your thoughts and feelings; or you are working to understand the value of your partners special interests or emotional needs, you will learn more about all these topics during this episode.

In addition, we discuss the value of scheduling time to talk, how to provide feedback to each other effectively, and how to better understand the things that may trigger shutdowns or meltdowns. We also talk about the importance of understanding both "Theory of the Autistic Mind" and "Theory of the Neurotypical Mind" and the value of knowing what you can each change, but also need to accept, in yourself and your partner, to live your best life together.

Whether you and your partner are working to understand your individual needs, or the needs you have in your love relationship, this episode will provide both of you with tools and information that you can both use to move from "misunderstanding to clarity" in your neurodiverse relationship.

To learn more about strategies for successful Neurodiverse Love relationships, check out this Live Webcast being offered by Tony and Michelle titled Autism in Couple Relationships being held on 2/25/22 from 9:30am-4:00pm (Australia Eastern Time-in Brisbane) .

(For those of you who live in the U.S. this is 6:30pm EST on 2/24/22).

You can register for the webcast at: https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/product/live-webcast-autism-in-couple-relationships-25-february-2022/

You can also learn more about Professor Attwood on his website at: www.tonyattwood.com.au

Recommended Books: The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood and Spectrum Women-Walking to the Beat of Autism-Edited by Barb Cook & Dr. Michelle Garnett:-)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode.
Please also take the time to rate the podcast and write a review.
For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG or send an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com
Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an email.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Thomas Lucking, Ph.D., LMFT, started his career in technology and then chose to pivot and become a therapist. Having these two areas of expertise gives Dr. Thomas a unique and important perspective on neurodiverse relationships. During this episode, Dr. Thomas provides a wealth of important information and concrete strategies to help neurodiverse couples understand each other better, while working on the issues that create the most challenges in their relationships. Dr. Thomas shares how couples can understand each others priorities and values and create a "Values Based Family Plan" together. This plan can then held lead to increased understanding and better communication. He also talks about the strategies he has created to help couples begin "relationship renewal" and reconcile with each other when there have been lots of misunderstandings and challenges in the relationship. Dr. Thomas provides so much insightful information on a variety of topics that will provide guidance and inspiration to neurodiverse couples, including: the communication challenges for the "turtle-vs-the hailstorm" and "death by 1000 cuts". Don't miss this important episode that may help you and your partner turn the corner and move from struggling to thriving. To reach Dr. Thomas and learn more about his counseling and coaching services, check out his websites at: www.siliconvalleytherapy.com or www.thomaslucking.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this podcast episode, please rate it and follow us, or subscribe, so you don't miss and episode. For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us and email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or if you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or and e-mail. Thank you very much for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Michael John Carley has spent many years as an advocate, educator and collaborator. He is the author of several books and he joined us on the podcast to talk about his book titled "The Book of Happy, Positive, and Confident Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum and Beyond" that was published in 2020 by Neurodiversity Press. From 2003-2013 Michael was the founder and Executive Director of GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger's Syndrome Partnership) where he learned about the many gaps that exist for autistic adults who are looking to thrive. He has written for the Washington Post, Huffington Post, New York Times and many others. His compassion, authenticity, and great sense of humor made our conversation with him both enlightening and inspirational. During this episode, Michael talks about the path he traveled to write his most recent book and how important it is for all of us to have access to the sex positive information that we need to thrive in that aspect of our life. Whether you are in a neurodiverse relationship and are trying to create a mutually satisfying sex life with your partner, or you are single and want to engage in sexual experiences that are satisfying for you, this episode will provide helpful information and insight. We talk about ways to expand your sexual options, some of the challenges both partners may experience and why it is so important that we do more as a society to help "everyone" have access to the information they need to make well-educated decisions about their sexual interests and preferences. No matter where you are in your adult life, or what neurotype you are, this episode and Michael's book will provide you with information that may help you choose the path to create a "Happy, Positive and Confident Sex Life". To learn more about Michael John Carley and his work around the world, please check out his website at: www.michaeljohncarley.com

If you liked this podcast episode, please rate it and follow us, or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or if you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

When Margot Alexis found out that she was in a "Neurodiverse Love" marriage she began to focus on the only person she could change..."herself". In this episode, Margot shares that when a friend of hers suggested that her husband might be autistic, that took her on a journey to learn everything she could about neurodiverse relationships and autism spectrum disorder. After more then 20 years of marriage, she made her own healing journey a priority and didn't discuss neurodiversity with her husband, until she had done a lot of her own work. When she finally brought up the subject with her husband he was open and ready to hear what she had learned. Through counseling with a therapist that has expertise in ASD, and a lot of grace and compassion, Margot and her husband now understand each other in ways they hadn't for many, many years. Margot shares openly about the challenges she experienced with her husband regarding communication, emotional reciprocity, different processing styles and co-parenting. She also shares the wonderful strengths that make her and husband a good team. Margot also shares why she started the "Healing Cassandra" podcast and how she has created a community for women to heal and find their voice. You can contact Margot Alexis through her website at: www.healingcassandra.com You may also want to check out the "Healing Cassandra" podcast through Apple or Spotify. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information about "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to attend one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" Peer Support Groups for the neurotypical partner, you can send us a DM on IG or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com If you would like to be a guest on the podcast please send us a DM or e-mail. Please rate and review this podcast and let us know what you like. In addition, please share this episode with others who might be interested in this topic. Thanks! Thanks for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode Grace Myhill, MSW shares her extensive experience on ways in which neurodiverse couples can gain better understanding of each others perspectives, learn how to check for understanding to reduce communication challenges and learn how to share and support each others expectations. In addition, she also discusses important strategies for working together effectively as a couple and how important it is to understand the concept of a "sensory budget".

Grace is the Director of the Peter M. Friedman Neurodiverse Couples Institute and the Partners and Couples Services at AANE. She also has a private practice where she provides support groups and private coaching for neurodiverse couples, the neurotypical partner and the autistic partner.

You can contact Grace at AANE by e-mail at: grace.myhill@aane.org

For coaching services or support groups you can also reach out to her through her website at: gracemyhill.com

AANE is a nationally recognized non-profit organization that works with individuals, families, and professionals to help people with Asperger’s and similar autism spectrum and neurodiverse profiles build meaningful, connected lives. AANE provides information, education, community, support, and advocacy, all in an atmosphere of validation and respect. To learn more, visit www.aane.org.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Jodi Carlton, M.Ed. is an internationally recognized autism relationship and neurodiversity expert and coach. During this episode she shared her own lived experience and how she is helping neurodiverse couples around the world find better ways to understand each others strengths and differences. She shares how important it is to value and respect each other's perspective and has created the "Crack the Communication Code" course to help neurodiverse couples work through the communication challenges that may keep recurring. You may also want to check out her website to link to the free resource to get your Neurodiversity/Autism Score.

Whether you are the autistic partner or the neurotypical partner in your neurodiverse relationship, there is SO much valuable information in this episode that you don't want to miss!

You can contact Jodi Carlton through in the following ways:

Website: spectrumrelationships.org

Instagram: @neurodiversecouplescoach

Facebook: Autism Relationships-Jodi Carlton, M.Ed. (private FB group)

YouTube-Neurodiverse Couples Coach

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free Neurodiverse Love peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail.

If you like the podcast, please follow us or subscribe and rate the podcast.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Dr. Harry Motro spent the earlier part of his career in technology and then chose a second career in counseling. HIs passion to take the best tools and strategies and combine them to help neurodiverse couples move from "barely surviving" to "thriving" is so enlightening and inspirational. During this episode, you will learn the value of the "red, yellow and green cards" to proactively and compassionately deal with issues that previously might have become arguments, meltdowns, or shutdowns. You will also learn how to create a "love list" with your partner that can help you both learn how to value and appreciate each other. In addition, you will gain a better understanding of the importance of reflective listening and how the W.I.N. tool can reduce misunderstanding and increase validation in honest conversations.

This is another "don't miss" episode that you will want to listen to more then once, so that you and your partner can begin practicing these strategies today.

If you would like to contact Dr. Harry Motro to learn more about the counseling and coaching services he and his colleagues offer for neurodiverse couples, please check out his website at: neurodiversecouplescounseling.com

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For more resources on Neurodiverse Love relationships check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to attend one of our free Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups please send us a DM on Instagram or an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

If you would like to be a guest on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. please feel free to send us a DM on Instagram or an email.

If you enjoyed this episode please subscribe to the podcast and share this link with others who may be interested in learning more about Neurodiverse Love relationships.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Happy New Year to all our listeners! This episode provides a lot of food for thought and great information that can help you make improvements in yourself and in turn, in your neurodiverse relationship

During this episode, we talk about how important it is for us to communicate and maintain our boundaries for our mental, emotional and spiritual health. We also discuss how understanding and implementing the "Four Agreements", by Don Miguel Ruiz can help improve life in a neurodiverse relationship.

The Four Agreements are:

1) Be Impeccable With Your Word

2) Don't Take Anything Personally

3) Don't Make Assumptions

4) Do Your Best

We also talk briefly about the Fifth Agreement, which is: Be Skeptical, but Learn to Listen

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You may also want to follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining one of our "Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups", please DM us on Instagram or send us an e-mail at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community. Please subscribe to the podcast. If you liked this episode, please leave us a rating and write a review. Thanks!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

In this episode, Manecia interviews Mona as she shares about some of the experiences she had when she did not know she was in a neurodiverse marriage. She and her ex loved each other very much, but that was not enough to get them to a place of understanding, which was what was greatly needed in their marriage. Not knowing you are in a neurodiverse relationship can lead to SO much confusion and loneliness, which can then turn into repeated anger and fights, that never seem to get resolved. Mona talks about what led her to move forward on a separation and the last straw that led her to move forward on divorcing a man she still loved, but no longer trusted. Throughout the Neurodiverse Love podcast, Mona has shared so much about her 32 year journey. In this episode, she shares some of the most significant positive experiences that kept her marriage going as long as it did. She also shares some of the most challenging experiences that led to the end of her marriage. Mona also talks about the path she has taken to get from the lowest point in her life, to a place of healing, exponential growth and thriving in a life that is filled with joy, peace, balance and fun.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like more information on Neurodiverse Relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to join one of our Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups, please send us a DM on Instagram or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community. Please follow and rate this podcast and share the podcast with others who may be interested in hearing more about neurodiverse love relationships. Thanks!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Psychotherapist and Professor Alina Kislenko is redesigning therapeutic models for neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples. She is committed to training other therapists so that ableism and oppressive views of neurodiversity became a thing of the past. Alina shared how her "PI" model of "Parts Inclusion" can create new words and ways of communicating emotions in neurodiverse relationships. In addition, her and her neurodivergent husband (who is also a therapist) are both ADHD and autistic and they work together regularly to reassess their strengths and challenges. Alina talks about the importance of having regular "State of the Union" meetings (a concept developed by Dr. John Gottman) with your partner to prevent divisive fights that can create ongoing challenges. She also talks about how her husband and her talk about "planning their divorce" so that they are aware of what norms and traits they may need to address as individuals and as a couple to ensure that they continue to thrive individually and in their relationship. Alina also offers very important advice on the determining factor to whether a neurodiverse relationship can thrive...specifically, whether "both partners are willing to do the work the other needs within the timeframe the other partner needs it done". Each partner has an opportunity to determine which of their partners traits are not going away or changing and if they can (and will) accept that trait. Alina also talks about how many neurodiverse relationships that include two neurodivergent partners may be very similar to LGBTQ+ relationships, because both partners may be more flexible and understanding of the norms that are critical to each partner. This is another "don't miss" episode where we talk about things we have never talked about on this podcast. Alina offered so many nuggets of gold and we will be having her back on the podcast with her husband in early 2022. If you would like to reach Alina or the other therapists at the Centre, you can check out their website at: www.ADHDInterrupted.com. You can also join Alina's Facebook group at ADHD Interrupted. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out the resources available on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com If you would like to join one of the Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups you can send us a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, or send us an e-mail at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community. Please subscribe or follow our podcast and share this episode (or others) with friends or family that might be interested in this issue.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

We learned SO much during this episode with Carole Jean Whittington who is "The Social Autie' on social media. Carole Jean received an ADHD diagnosis in early adulthood, but wasn't diagnosed as autistic until she was 39. Her "neurodistinct" journey has led her to help so many other late diagnosed autistic adults go from burnout to balance. Carole Jean's honesty and vulnerability provided us with so many lessons on how to be better romantic partners in a neurodiverse relationship, as well as how to create space for understanding and grace when we really don't understand ourselves or our partners, but want to. Carole Jean is a gift to the neurodiverse/neurodistinct community and it was such a pleasure learning from her and learning a little bit about the challenges she has experienced and grown and healed from, and the many strengths she has in her current relationship with her partner Josh:-)

For more information on Carole Jean and the amazing work she is doing to help other late diagnosed adults thrive, please check her out on Instagram @socialautie and check out her podcast "Mind Your Autistic Brain".

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about neurodiverse relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join our Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups please send us a DM on Instagram or an e-mail at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community. Please follow or subscribe to our podcast, and share the podcast with others you know who may need to hear our message.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Joe is a therapist and Mike is an engineer and in many ways they might be considered opposites. However, during this episode they share how during their almost 30 years together, they have learned how to navigate their differences and focus on each others strengths. When they started getting serious in their relationship Joe moved into Mike's house and Joe shares some of the challenges that presented during the first few years of living together. They now have a great arrangement where they each have living space on different floors of their home and they spend time together watching tv and sharing meals. After watching the movie Adam, where the main character has Asperger's, Joe recognized his husband in almost everything Adam did. He then approached Mike with this new found information and the rest is history. Joe and Mike also share how learning that they were a neurodiverse couple literally cut their arguments and disagreements by 50%. They began to understand each other and see things through the "neurodiverse lens". As we have often said on previous podcasts "Once you know better, you can choose to do better". Joe and Mike share how their lived experience shows what it looks like to turn that saying into action. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information on neurodiverse relationships you can check out our website: www.neurodiverselove.com Follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you are interested in attending our free "Neurodiverse Love" Peer Support Groups send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or a DM on Instagram. If you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" journey on the podcast please feel free to reach out. Thanks for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community. Please share this podcast with others who might benefit from hearing it.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Mona and Manecia had such a wonderful time talking to Michelle and Andrew learning about their "Neurodiverse Love" journey. After they met on a dating app, they were friends for a year before they started dating. Michelle shared that she almost broke up with Andrew twice and she shares why. Fortunately, while reading a book chapter about "Autistic Echos" Michelle recognized many of the things she didn't understand about Andrew and approached him with compassion and kindness to discuss what she had read.

During this episode Michelle and Andrew share some of the strategies they have been using to learn and grow together as a neurodiverse couple. Life isn't always a bed of roses, however they share with such honesty how they work together to find new ways to understand each other and ways in which they can support each others strengths and value their individual differences.

If you want to learn more about Michelle and Andrew's neurodiverse journey you can follow them on TIkTok @michelleandandrew

In addition, you can also check out their website at: www.bellamimalifestyles.com

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to join any of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups, please email us at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com, or send us a DM on Instagram.

If you are interested in getting additional resources about neurodiverse relationships you can check out our website at: neurodiverslove.com

You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Please subscribe to the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast wherever you listened to this episode and share this episode with others that might find it helpful.

Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona and Manecia talk openly and honestly about some of the unintentional hurt and pain that they have both caused in their relationships, as well as what their partners may have done in past or present relationships. When you don't know you are in neurodiverse relationship, or you know, but don't have the skills and tools needed to navigate the challenges and differences between the two different neurotypes, lots of arguments, disagreements, meltdowns and shutdowns can lead to unintentional hurt, pain and trauma. None of these create harmony and peace in any relationship, however in a neurodiverse relationship, having the same fight over and over again, without learning any new skills to navigate this path, can create so much unintentional trauma for both partners. Finding resources and/or a counselor, or coach ,who has expertise in translating both partners experiences through a neurodiverse lens, can help change "barely surviving" to "thriving". However it is also important to remember that the journey to "thriving", is often filled with lots of patience, compassion and a desire to understand yourself and your partner!

If you are interested in learning more about "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups, please send us an e-mail at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to be a guest on the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast, please send us an email or a DM on Instagram.

Please subscribe to the podcast or follow us, so that you don't miss any of the upcoming episodes.

Thanks for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" journey.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Join us for this fantastic episode where we have an opportunity to talk with Dr. Kim Bolling. Kim is a couples therapist and provides counseling and coaching for neurodiverse couples. Kim talks with us about how she uses Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) to help individuals and neurodiverse couples learn more about the "parts" that can create challenges in their relationship. Kim provides the tools and techniques to help you and your partner work through some of the things that may keep you in the "communication roundabout" where you keep having the same arguments or unproductive conversations over and over again. Learn how to regulate your nervous system. breathe and make "slow" the new "fast"! Unblending from our parts can help create safety and stability in our love relationship and make communication more effective with your partner. Learn how scaffolding can help you and partner process issues better and understand how important it is to "err on the side of communication" to create a healthier "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

You can reach out to Dr. Kim Bolling through her website at: www.kimbolling.com

Also, please subscribe to the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.
If you are interested in being a guest on the podcast, please e-mail us at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com
For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
If you would like to join our FREE "Neurodiverse Love" support groups for the neurotypical or autistic partner you can send us an e-mail or a DM on Instagram.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode and for joining us on the "Neurodiverse Love" journey:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Alina and her husband have been married for 24 years and have 5 sons. Throughout their marriage, they have experienced lots of challenges that other couples weren't having. However, it wasn't until her husband was diagnosed, earlier this year, with Autism Spectrum Disorder, that those challenges began to make sense. When Alina found the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast she realized she was not alone and her thinking and the way she communicated with her husband began to change. Alina shares openly and honestly about the journey she is on to understand how to thrive in her marriage. During the past few months, she has asked her husband for forgiveness for the way she has communicated with him and has learned healthier ways to communicate. She is beginning to understand the ways in which their brains are wired differently and she and her husband are working together to make their marriage thrive. Understanding why there had been so many arguments, misunderstandings and misinterpretations, and finding ways to appreciate and value each other again, has begun to transform Alina's marriage. She feels tremendous hope for the future and is excited to spend the rest of her life with her very kind husband. Whether you are the autistic partner or the allistic partner, you will find some hope, clarity and understanding in this episode. When we know better, we can "choose" to do better and Alina is proof of that!

If you would like to find more resources about neurodiverse relationships, check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups you can get more information by sending an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or send a DM on Instagram.

If you would like to be a guest on the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast and you are in a neurodiverse relationship and would like to share your story, or if you are a counselor, therapist or coach who works with neurodiverse couples, please send us an email or a DM on Instagram.

Thank you for being a part of the international "Neurodiverse Love" journey:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

We are issuing a "trigger warning" for this episode, as we are talking about food addictions and other addictions that some of our listeners may be dealing with and may be very sensitive about.

During this episode, Mona and Manecia talk with an anonymous guest who has been dealing with food addiction issues and has recently realized that she was using food to fill voids in her life and her neurodiverse relationship. Mona and Manecia also share how they have used food as their "drug of choice", as it brings instant gratification and helped increase dopamine, serotonin and endorphins, the "happy hormones". Understanding why we become addicted to food and other substances (or activities like sex, porn, shopping, exercise, gambling) can help us all lead a healthier life, however facing those issues that have led us to the addiction can be a challenge.

For those dealing with a food addiction, Mona recommended the book "Bright Line Eating" by Susan Peirce Thompson, Ph.D.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about Neurodiverse Love Relationships please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to join one of our free Neurodiverse Love peer support groups you can e-mail us at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or you can DM us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to be a guest on the podcast, please feel free to e-mail us or send us a DM.

Thank you for listening to this episode and we hope you follow us or subscribe and that you will share this podcast with others who may be interested in this topic.

Thank you for joining us on the Neurodiverse Love journey.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

For her doctoral dissertation, Dr. Pnina Arad conducted ground-breaking research with women in neurodiverse relationships and published her book, "When Your Man is On the Spectrum-To Know, Understand and Transform Your Relationship" to share all that she learned during her research. During this episode, Pnina provides us with insightful information that will help provide neurodiverse couples with ways in which they can better understand each other and begin to build a healthy neurodiverse relationship.

Our discussion about some of the key differences and misunderstandings that neurodiverse couples may be experiencing can help both partners navigate their different social, emotional and thinking world that they both may find confusing. In addition, we talk about the "Lost Generation" of autistic adults that never received supports they may have benefited from, because when they were growing up in the 1950's, 1960's and 1970's, at a time when Asperger Syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder were not diagnoses in the DSM.

One of the many important lessons that listeners can take away from this episode is that each partner has strengths, needs to work to understand their triggers and opportunities for improvement, and that both partners can work together to make accommodations and changes to create a healthy "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

Pnina lives in Israel where many autistic people are not diagnosed and she is one of the only professionals in Israel providing coaching to neurodiverse couples.

We hope that after you listen to this podcast you will purchase Pnina's phenomenal book, "When Your Man is On the Spectrum-To Know, Understand and Transform Your Relationship".

You can contact Pnina at pninacoaching@gmail.com or check out her "Lead Up" website at: www.lp.vp4.me

Check out more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships on our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to join one of our free peer support groups for the neurotypical or autistic partner in a Neurodiverse Love relationship, please feel free to e-mail us at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or send a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

Please subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love podcast and share this episode (or others) with people you know who may be in a Neurodiverse Love relationship.

Thanks for being a part of the worldwide "Neurodiverse Love" journey:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode you will hear from two of the four co-founders and coaches in the "Loving Difference" on-line community. This site was created to help individuals and couples learn how to thrive in life and in their neurodiverse relationships. Natalie Roberts and Heather Parks share some of the lessons they have learned in their neurodiverse relationships and provide insightful information and strategies on how they have managed and worked through the ups and downs in their neurodiverse marriages. Their honesty, sense of humor and passion for helping others thrive is both inspirational and educational.

You can join the "Loving Difference" on-line community at www.lovingdifference.net and you can reach Natalie and Heather through the site.

In addition, you can following Natalie on Instagram @neurodiverserelationshipcoach or contact her through her website at: www.natalieroberts.com-The Asperger's Relationship Coach.

If you would like to get more information on neurodiverse relationships please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow us on Instagram@neurodiverse_love

If you would like to join one of our free Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups for the neurotypical or autistic partner you can send an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or send a DM on Instagram.

Thanks for listening to the podcast and for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Sarah and Larry Nannery share the lessons they have learned during their 10 year Neurodiverse Love relationship. Their motto is "Better Together" and it is clear that they personify this motto. Sarah sought a diagnosis after she became a parent and realized that managing all of her new responsibilities was more then she was prepared for, and at 31 she received a formal ASD diagnosis. She has now taken some of the lessons she has learned on her journey and partnered with Larry to write "What to Say--Successful Communication in Work, Life, and Love with Autism Spectrum Disorder".

Throughout their relationship, both Sarah and Larry have worked hard to become a better version of themselves, individually and as a couple,. After hearing a piece of their story, it is clear that that may be one of the most important factors in a successful neurodiverse relationship. They both share great insight about the ways in which they address their social and emotional differences, as well as the ways in which they think about and process their family life and their relationship. Larry shared how he believes that we are all different in some way and we should focus on our unique traits and strengths, so that we can learn who we are and how those traits are presenting in all the relationships we are in. In addition, we had a great discussion about parenting and family life and how important self-care, structure and knowing what the plan is are for Sarah.

Several things that were said during the podcast showed the genuine compassion, love and respect that Sarah and Larry have for each other. Sarah shared that when she is on emotional or sensory overload she knows that she can come home and "Larry will take care of her" and those words were such a wonderful expression of the trust and safety that their relationship provides. In addition, when Sarah was talking about the challenges of parenting, Larry stopped and said "Sarah you are a wonderful mother" and although we couldn't see Sarah's face, she probably had a big smile when he said that. This is a part of what makes their neurodiverse love so special. Sarah and Larry share the way in which Neurodiverse Love can thrive and how each partner in the relationship can feel safe to be themselves and be supported and understood. We know you will really enjoy meeting Sarah and Larry:-)

You can follow Sarah on Instagram or Twitter @sarahnannery or you can check out her website at sarahnannery.com

We also hope you will buy their new book. It provides excellent insight and strategies on how to communicate effectively in all types of relationships.

If you would like to join one of the free Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups for the neurotypical or autistic partner, you can send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or send us a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

For more information on neurodiverse relationships please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you are a neurodiverse couple or one of the partners in a neurodiverse relationship and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or e-mail.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love journey. Please subscribe to the podcast and share this episode with others who you know who might benefit from hearing it.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode we talk about whether it's important to have a formal ASD diagnosis to understand the best ways to create a successful relationship. No one can make this decision for you, however Mona and Manecia discuss how they feel about the different ways to understand that you and your partner have different neurotypes. They also discuss the value of disclosing that you are autistic while dating. Whether you or your partner have a formal diagnosis, are self diagnosed or you suspect that one or both of you may be on the autism spectrum, this episode will give you things to think about and consider as you move forward on your neurodiverse journey.

If you would like more information about neurodiverse relationships check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to join the Neurodiverse Love peer support groups for the neurotypical or the autistic partner please send us an e-mail at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or send a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you would like to be a guest on the Neurodiverse Love podcast and share your relationship story please send us an email or a DM on Instagram.

Thanks for listening and please follow this podcast and share it with others who may be interested in this topic:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

To celebrate the one year anniversary of the Neurodiverse Love podcast, Mona and Olga are co-hosting this special episode to talk about some of the important lessons they have learned in their various neurodiverse relationships. During the first season, at the end of each podcast episode, lessons learned have been shared about the topic that was discussed. During this special episode, some of those important lessons are revisited.

Mona and Olga started this podcast a year ago, because they hoped that sharing their stories about their Neurodiverse Love relationships would help at least one person, or one neurodiverse couple. Knowing that there have been almost 5500 plays of the Neurodiverse Love podcast, Mona and Olga are so thankful that people all over the world are learning that they are not alone and there are others who have been in neurodiverse relationships. Throughout the last year SO many people have sent emails or DM's on Instagram to say thank you for sharing our lived experiences and lessons learned and Mona and Olga are thankful that Neurodiverse Love is making a difference for so many of you. Thanks to all of you for your support, we are so proud to be able to be a part of your neurodiverse journey.

If you are the neurotypical or neurodivergent partner in a Neurodiverse Love relationship and would like to join one of our free Peer Support Groups please DM us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or email us at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Also, please feel free to check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to be a guest on the Neurodiverse Love podcast please send us a DM on Instagram or an email.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love journey. We are SO glad that our lived experiences and lessons learned have been helpful to hundreds of people all over the world:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode, Mona and Manecia have the pleasure of talking with communication expert, Dr. Ali Arena. Ali has been working for years with autistic children, parents and neurodiverse couples to help them improve their communication skills. During our conversation, Ali provides so many insightful and helpful strategies for dealing with black and white thinking, different processing styles, and emotional differences that can help neurodiverse couples understand each other better. We also explore why each neurotype may have so many challenges understanding their partners communication methods and reactions. This is definitely an episode you don't want to miss!

To learn more about Ali, or to schedule an appointment with her, please check out her website at: aliarenacommunications.com

(***We apologize for the technical difficulties we had at various times throughout the episode)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For additional resources on neurodiverse relationships please check out the "Neurodiverse Love" website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to participate in the "Neurodiverse Love" peer support group please send a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or send an e-mail to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

To listen to the podcast episodes in Season 1 please check out the bio link on the Instagram page.

Thanks for listening and please share this episode with others that you think might be interested in learning more about neurodiverse relationships.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

This episode is filled with pearls of wisdom and lots of laughter as Mona and Manecia welcome Janelle Harding to the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast. Janelle has been in a neurodiverse relationship for a few years and her and her husband have a one year old son. She talks about her no nonsense way of dealing with her husband's mind-blindness, black and white thinking, food preferences and special interests. Janelle also shares some of the lessons she has learned as a coach for neurodiverse couples and through her role as a minister. She also addresses the importance of autonomy and self-care in her marriage. Throughout this episode, we get "real" about how serious some of these issues are and how valuable it is to not take things so seriously (or personally) and to find the humor in our neurodiverse lives. If you would like to contact Janelle on Instagram her handle is: @Grace_and_compassion Janelle can also be reached through her Facebook Group: Grace and Compassion Neurodiverse Life and Love Coaching You can also e-mail her at: graceandcompassion@outlookdownload.net

For more information on neurodiverse relationships please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com If you would like to join our FREE "Neurodiverse Love" peer support group please send a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or send an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com If you would like to be a guest on the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast please feel free to send a DM on Instagram or send us an email. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thanks for listening and please subscribe to the podcast and share this episode with others you think will find it helpful:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode Mona and Manecia have an in-depth conversation with Heidi who has been married for over 25 years and found out 5 years ago that her husband is on the autism spectrum. After raising 4 kids together and having ongoing communication challenges, things started to make sense when Heidi learned about ASD. Learn about how special interests played a big part in the beginning of this neurodiverse marriage and about the ups and downs of parenting, emotional and social differences and the way in which Heidi has dealt with all of these over the years.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in joining our FREE "Neurodiverse Love" peer support group for the neurotypical partner, please send us an e-mail at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or send a DM on Instagram: @neurodiverse_love. The group meets the 1st Tuesday of the month at 6:30PM EST and the 3rd Saturday of the month at 11:30AM EST.

If you would like to access more resources on neurodiverse relationships please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you are interested in telling your "Neurodiverse Love" story or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us an e-mail, or a DM on Instagram.

Please subscribe to the podcast and share it on social media with others you know that are in a "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

Thanks everyone:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Ashley is a licensed counselor and a coach who has worked with many neurodivergent couples. She focuses on the strengths of each partner to address challenges and opportunities for growth to create a path to a healthy partnership. During this episode, Ashley shares what she has learned in her own neurodivergent marriage, as well as what tools she uses to guide other neurodivergent couples on their path to a thriving relationship. Ashley also explores the process her husband went through to learn that he was autistic, as well as how the information impacted their relationship. She also talks about the social, emotional and thinking differences her and her husband experience and some of the tools and processes they use to address them. In addition, Ashley provides information that couples can use to address physical and sexual intimacy challenges they may be having. Ashley shares both her lived experience, and so many helpful techniques that can provide guidance to other neurodivergent couples.

If you are interested in reaching out to Ashley Grubbs for counseling services, you can check out her website at: blueharbortherapy.com

If you are interested in reaching out to Ashley to learn more about her coaching services, you can check out her website at: seaportcoaching.com

You can also follow Ashley on Instagram @blueharborcounseling

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To find more information about "Neurodiverse Love" relationships please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com

If you are interested in joining our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support group for the neurotypical partner, you can DM us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or e-mail us at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

If you would like to be a guest on the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast please DM us on Instagram or send us an e-mail.

Thanks for listening and please subscribe to the podcast and share this episode with others who might benefit from hearing it.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Welcome to Season 2 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. In this episode we talk about the challenges that can occur when you and your partner think and process things differently. We share stories about differences in planning and organization, as well as the ways in which our partners could get stuck trying to multitask or prioritize and take action on their "things to do" list. Knowing our brains are wired differently can be so helpful in a neurodiverse marriage and finding ways to let each partner take the lead on the things their brain does best can greatly reduce stress.

Check out our website: neurodiverselove.com

If you are the neurotypical partner in the relationship and we like to join our free Neurodiverse Love peer support group, please DM us on Instagram or email us at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love tribe:-)

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

During this episode we talk about how challenging it can be when socializing, friendships and travel have different value to us and impact us differently in our neurodiverse relationships. As neurotypicals, socializing is very important in our love relationships, however our neurodivergent partners didn't place the same importance on socializing and social events as we did. Understanding how both partners can see things through a neurodiverse lens can help reduce anxiety, frustration, anger and disappointment. We also talk about some of the lessons we have learned about these topics as we move forward on our Neurodiverse Love journey.

Please share this episode with others who may be interested and subscribe so you can be notified when new episodes are released.

If you are the neurotypical partner in the relationship and would like to join one of our twice monthly Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please send a DM on Instagram or e-mail us at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening and for joining us on the Neurodiverse Love journey.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

The first season of the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast includes 30 episodes of our lived experiences and lessons learned in "Neurodiverse Love" relationships. In addition, we published five episodes with various guests, who share their very interesting neurodiverse stories. We had to change the account we are using to record Season 2 of the podcast, so if you want to continue with us on this "Neurodiverse Love" journey please subscribe to both Season 1 and Season 2.

Thanks everyone!

Check out our website @ neurodiverselove.com

E-mail us@ neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com for more information about our "Peer Support Groups for the Neurotypical Partner"

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

View Details

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/neurodiverse-love/message

Neurodiverse Love: Recent Episodes