Flow: Recent Episodes
Sheila Das
Flow is about the power and the problems of conversation. We see that conversation is an essential part of our human nature and fulfills a basic human need. What’s more, communication has been the driving force of our human society, allowing it to flourish. Yet talking to each other is not always easy and seems increasingly fraught with challenges in our modern world. In frank conversations with guests from a wide spectrum of experience, I will be discussing these highs and lows so as to have a deeper understanding of how we can all get to better conversations, that is to flow, in our world.
Anna Goldfarb, author of Modern Friendship, is here to help us face a world of thinning connection and rising loneliness head on. Anna gets fired up about how creating closer friendships is in our hands but needs a fine-tuned communication. We focus on how understanding desire and delight can turn our social lives around - from the moment we craft our invites to when we are hanging out together. I hope this episode ignites you to reach out and connect more deeply with those in your life. Like it has for me.Works mentioned: Habits of the Heart by Robert N Bellah et alia, We Should Get Together by Kat Vellos.
You can follow Anna on X, @AnnaGoldfarb, and find her book Modern Friendship here: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/modern-friendship-1
Anna recommends... Jeffrey Halls work on how to elevate our relationships and online lives, and improve our "social biome": https://randtlab.ku.edu/and Daniel Coxs newsletter, American Storylines and survey, American Perspectives, about friendships, gender dynamics and culture.
Charlie Morin, transmasc writer and artist, is bringing out the laughs in transmasculine life with comedy sketch. I think the silly and the strength in laughing at our own trials helps make life better and our mishaps more bearable. But the comedic take on transmasc life is largely absent from the general cultural conversation, so often centered on difficult questions and tragic realities. Charlie and I discuss the need for this comedy, his inspirations, and his hopes for his comedy sketch, "Ferda Sesame Boys," for the trans and cis communities.
Check out Charlie on Instagram @morin.charliejack and his Substack, https://charliemorin.substack.com/p/you-have-a-tiny-dck?utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link. Charlie recommends..."Punching Up!" an article on evolving non-binary standup: uniter.ca/view/punching-up; Bros Before, a short film by Henry Hanson (fun transmasculine representation): filmfreeway.com/BrosBefore ;the concept of glimmers (coined by behavioral neuroscientist Stephen Porges) as part of Polyvagal Theory: verywellmind.com/what-is-a-glimmer-5323168
Photo credit: Casey Marie Ecker
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Mockery, conspiracy theories and scapegoating are just too much fun. This is the Charles Blattberg encore where the political philosopher and I go deeper into the threats for meaningful, political, patriotic conversation by untangling the dangers of fun. We discuss the derailment play causes here, and tease out other aesthetic forms, such as idealizing beauty, spectacle, and fantasy. Then we examine how enjoyment and fear interact in motivating these fun modes of dialogue. Finally, we put each othersfeet to the fire as we take up the aesthetic lurking in each other’s titles: both his book title, Shall We Dance?, and the name of this podcast, Flow. Check out Charles article on how antisemitism is fun: “Antisemitism and the Aesthetic” in Philosophy Forum (2021).--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sheila-das/message
Charles Blattberg, political philosopher at Université de Montréal, explains why conversation should be our first choice in resolving conflict, followed by negotiation then pleading, all of which differ in practice and goals. We discuss the win-win scenario of reconciliation as stemming from Aristotelian ideas about the common good and well-being, while exploring how the fragility of conversation often thwarts this outcome.Charlesinvigorating thinking challenges commonly held views, indeed my own (!), as we argue here about human rights and mastering conversational skills. We draw on his publications:"Taking Politics Seriously" in Philosohpy (2019)"The Ironic Trajedy of Human Rights" in Patriotic Elaborations (2009)"Opponents and Adversaries in Platos Phaedo" in History of Philosophy Quarterly (2005)Shall We Dance?: A Patriotic Politics for Canada (2003)Charles recommends... The Argument Culture: Stopping America`s War of Words (1999) and You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation (1990) both by Deborah Tannen, and I and Thou (1923) by Martin Buber.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sheila-das/message
Kim Samuel, author of On Belonging: Finding Connection in an Age of Isolation, helps us explore how our conversation, as well as the structures and systems we live in, create connection.Beyond the multifaceted ways belonging may be built in our lives, Kim proposes why we all have a right to it. On the flipside, we look at who is feeling socially isolated today and why... spoliler alert: it`s not your fault! Finally, just a heads up, we also consider toilets and singing giraffes.Kim Samuel is the founder of the Samuel Centre for Social Connectedness, she is a fellow at the Poverty and Human Development Initiative at Oxford, and she has worked on the ground with initiatives from South Africa and Mozambique, to the Special Olympics and the Indigenous on Vancouver Island. Kim is inspired by… Parzival, the well-known thirteenth century Grail Quest, which highlights the key of compassion; philosopher and poet Wendell Berry’s What are People for? which questions value in a world of mechanization; and the Friendship Bench installation where grandmother figures nurture the younger generation on designated benches — initiated by Dixon Chibanda in Zimbabwe and now adopted worldwide.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sheila-das/message
Bob Ramsay, known to be "one of the most connected men in Toronto" explores how he has gotten to know, learn, and help people over coffee. His relationships, his own work in his speaking series, and travel experiences all got better from having a cuppa. A outstandingly regular practice has led to key takeways: from how follow-up after a coffee to move your career along, talking across the intergenerational divide, to resisting judgment, and the delights of lingering. He was awarded the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal in 2015 and the Bernier Medal from the Royal Canadian Geographic Society in 2017. Find out more about Bob`s activities at @ramsayinc.comWorks mentioned: Love or Die Trying by Bob Ramsay (2021), Success and Luck: Good Fortune and the Myth of Meritocracy by Robert H. Frank (2016).Bob would like to sit down and have a coffee with... Minouche Shafik and Phillipe Sands.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sheila-das/message
Raja Khouri, who’s Palestinian, and Jeff Wilkinson, who’s Jewish, share their perspectives on the possibility of dialogue between their communities in the Canadian context - even during the present conflict. Both long-time advocates for intercommunity exchange, and co-authors of ´The Wall Between: what Jews and Palestinians dont want to know about each other’, they show us how to bridge the divide. We explore the regular barriers to such dialogue, such as hisorical identities and binary (us/them) language. But when so many are feeling like their heart is shattered by the ongoing violence, and when hate crime is swelling in North America, what does the present moment ask of us? Raja and Jeff live this every day, and their research and their example keep everyones humanity as a guiding light through silence, emotions and mistakes. It may give us a chance. (This interview was recorded Oct. 27, 2023).To order the book directly you may go to: thewallbetween.orgRaja recommends… Edward Saids writings and James Zogby’s podcast interviews.Jeff recommends… Viktor Frankls Mans Search for Meaning and Peter Beinarts podcast, “Occupied Thoughts.”--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sheila-das/message
Julie Sondra Decker shows how asexuals are silenced when denied as a “real” orientation, not divergent enough by queer groups, or overlooked by some sex-positive advocates. We look at how silencing then reverberates in TV shows, institutions and personal violence. But how has the scene been changing? And what can we do about it through our conversations? Julie is a leader and advocate in the asexual or Ace community and author of The Invisible Orientation.Sources we mention include: the Trevor Project, Asexual and Visibility Education Network, Asexual Outreach in Toronto, and Julie`s YouTube channel, "Letters to an Asexual." Julie further recommends... - "Ace Dad Advice" (Cody Daigle-Orians) on TikTok, their book, I Am Ace, because of their positive and mature perspective; -Yasmin Benoit, an asexual model at the forefront of visibility efforts, who responds to the intersection of asexuality and people of color and sex positivity, and being sexy while not desiring sex; -TAAAP (The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project, https://taaap.org/) and their book, Ace and Aro Journeys; -the TV show “Heartstopper” for its Ace discovery journey.
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Mary Chiu is a research scientist at the Ontario Shores Centre for Mental Health Sciences and Adjunct Professor at Ontario Tech University whose key research areas are communication, resilience and skills training in the context of caregiving and dementia. Mary and I discuss the life-affirming role conversation has for people living with Alzheimers and other forms of dementia and how these diseases affect their ability to communicate and can contribute to painful isolation. The good news is that while dementia is an irreversible disease there are a whole host of strategies to help caregivers, at every stage of progression, to foster dignity, connection and community. We go beyond the "Dos and Donts" to really understand the emotions underlying communication needs for this population so to be better able to meet them where they are. We also explore universally inclusive programs in our cities and creative tools for our living rooms that can help reinforce personhood and sustain relationships, even long-distance ones. Like who has heard of photovoicing before? Not me!If, after the show, you are wanting to learn more, Id start with Marys LinkedIn and check out your local Alzheimers Society of Canada.Mary recommends... the illustrated book, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, in which the boy is guided through his walk through the forest, both literally and figuratively; and the YouTube channel @twosetviolin, the journey of two non-soloists, finding their strengths through sharing their passion for music.
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Matt Goldberg is founder, artistic director and co-host, together with Deb Van Slet, of Confabulation -- well-known and well- loved in the Montreal and really Canadian-wide storytelling community. A monthly show of people telling their own true life stories – now in Montreal and Victoria, my hometown. Confabulation has a podcast of the stories with interviews of the storytellers, gives workshops, and has been part of the Fringe, Just for Laughs, talked about on CBC, other news outlets, and most importantly has a regular, enthusiastic audience. I first heard about Confabulation when I ran into Matt in the College where we both have our day jobs and he excitedly told me about his new project. That was 13 years ago! Now Confabulation is booming. Why do we love to hear real-life stories so much? How does craft matter? And how does storytelling intersect with our regular conversations? Check our their website and their shows: confabulation.ca Matt recommends three graphic novels: Paul à Québec by Michel Rabagliati (in the French original and in English translation), Blankets by Craig Thomson and Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi.
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Shane OMara, professor of neuroscience at Trinity College Dublin, joins me to discuss how conversations shape our worlds. We draw on his latest book, Talking Heads, coming out this August (!) in which he demonstrates how our conversations, our stories, enter our brains, create memory, and unite us to propel us forward, both as individuals and as nations. Why does this grab me so much? Well, what could be more important than how we build our future together?
I would also like to signal his previous book, In Praise of Walking, that shows the many ways walking stimulates the brain, and, of particular interest for Flow listeners, conversation. Follow Shane on his substack, Brain Pizza, to stay up with his latest ideas, both quirky and profound.
Shane OMara recommends... Imagined Communties by Benedict Anderson (a stunning book without which he may not have written the book he did), 1984 by George Orwell (a classic that still haunts), and the Irish poet Thomas Kinsella`s modernist poetry on urban life.
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Joelle Prevost, registered clinical counsellor, helps us understand how to approach setting boundaries and why we should do it more regularly. If boundaries normally conjure up a block, like a big wall, that keeps people out, years of practice and study have shown Joelle that in conversation boundaries are really quite different and can make relationships closer. So instead of letting our resentment grow or opting for "slow fades," Joelle and I discuss how we can talk our way to amazing results for ourselves and our relationships. We draw on her latest book, The Conversation Guide: how to skillfully communicate, set boundaries and be understood.For Joelle`s upcoming works, you can follow her: @J L Prevost on AmazonJoelle recommends... as a counterpoint, the joyful, uncomplicated love of pets, like she enjoys with her own cat and dog.
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Today we explore talking while walking with best-selling author Annabel Streets. Walking is a topic that seems to be everywhere I look these days. Maybe it’s because it’s been on my mind for awhile or maybe it’s because of all the new research from anthropology, to psychology to neuroscience and even ecology that help to explain the benefits of this ordinary pedestrian activity. Of course here on the program were concerned with talking especially, and what Ive learned from this intersection is pretty cool: that our conversations flow not only from our minds but our bodies. We will look at this the relationship of walking and talking whether we’re talking with others or musing with ourselves. Annabel will take us through the regular offshoots of ambling about - pace, purpose, sights and smells - and how they combine to shape not only our walks but also the exchanges that animate them. I hope this episode will inspire you like it did me to get out there, and get into the talking that only happens as we are moving together. Annabel Streets is a best-selling author of fiction and non-fiction, and I would like to note her most recent work, 52 Ways to Walk, and previously writing as Annabel Abbs, Windswept: Walking the Paths of Trailblazing Women. Annabel recommends... reading books by other women walkers, such as Georgia O'Keeffe, Simone De Beavoir, and Daphne du Maurier, for women especially to draw inspiration to walk alone and open up those conversations with ourselves.
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Best-selling author David Sax joins me to discuss "analog” as in non-digital conversations and why he believes face-to-face conversations will always be a must in a truly human world. As everyone lived the lockdown phases of pandemic, we all went through similar experiences of being isolated from family and friends, colleagues and classmates and even acquaintances and strangers who aren’t part of our social circle. So when we turned to platforms like Zoom and WhatsApp to fill the void, while they may have been a lifeline, we realized these digital exchanges were not quite the utopia we may have once believed. David brings to light why. Why we were left wanting, sometimes bored, and often zonked out. Beyond the blips of unstable eye contact, static and audio lags, crucial conversation drivers are missing. As he quotes Darren Wisdom in his book, digital chats are more like a "series of statements" than the push and pull, back and forth, the flow of the real thing. Though David and I are on the same wavelength, I particularly appreciate his critique about being intentional in our digital interactions vs being spontaneous, and the contours of what makes “shared experience.” Finally, we look at the decline of in-person conversation and why we should care. As I kind of mentioned already, his work echoes a lot of my own reading and makes sense to me, so when I recently learned that his position has generated some pushback, I was curious about what was going on. I ask him to clarify his thoughts on digital usage for those separated by distance (like he and I during this chat!) or those dealing with limited mobility. Still many of us seem entrenched in defending what’s good in talking through our devices. He suggests a way out of this false binary that can bring us the richest human experience, and, as the social creatures that we are, ultimately, the greatest joy. David Sax`s latest book is The Future is Analog (2022).David recommends... camping in Parque Fjords du Saguenay, something about that place is so majestic and inspirational, even in the pouring rain.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sheila-das/message
Bruce Kuwabara, one of Canada’s leading architects, makes stories — stories full of characters and rich with themes. Today he joins me to discuss how he crafts multi-layered stories and enables dialogue through his built spaces. That dialogue begins in the earliest stages of designing a new building. It continues through cultivating connections with the past while serving, sometimes showcasing, the current occupants of a building. Yet, perhaps more than other kinds of conversation, architectural themes resonate far into the future, as long as the structures endure, literally shaping how we will relate to each other. Though his work at KPMB Architects is aesthetically and formally stunning, I learn that Bruce’s commitment to architecture stems from a consideration of the people who will animate it, inside and out. Our discussion circles around his passionate belief in pluralism, openness, health, and sustainability, values that reflect the best of Canadian society. He cares to create buildings that respond to and improve the multiple realities of our Canadian life: from First Nations to recent arrivals in Canada, from workersphysical health needs to professional dancers, from those with mental health struggles to others at the forefront of scientific research. Bruces personal background as a Japanese-Canadian whose family was held in internment camps during the Second World War has contributed to his rejection of buildings that block us off from one another and fueled his desire for openness. As a side note, he had previously revealed to me how much he hates the opaque facades of pot shops and banks for this very reason! Bruce is one of the rare artists who has a fine ear for listening to others and is deeply attuned to what is going on in our society. He channels his voice and those of others through wood, concrete and triple-glazed windows to build meeting places that house our ideals, invigorate our public life, and invite us, all of us, in. Bruce Kuwabara is founding partner of KPMB Architects and the Chair of the Canadian Centre for Architecture in Montreal. Among other awards, he has been recognized with the Royal Architectural Institute of Canada Gold Medal and the Officer of the Order of Canada for shaping “our built landscape in lasting ways.” You may find Bruces works, including the ones we discuss – the National Ballet of Canada, Boston University, Manitoba Hydro, The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, and the Global Centre for Pluralism – at kpmb.comBruce recommends... Hanya Yanagiharas novel A Little Life and her articles in the New York Times on friendships and dinners, for example, “The Wayward Joy of the Dinner Party” from Dec. 2, 2022. And for visiting, he recommends The Darling Foundry, a visual arts centre in Montreal, and Peter Zumthor`s Thermal Baths in Vals, Switzerland.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sheila-das/message
Sandi Mann helps us confront one of our deepest fears in conversation: am I boring?! And its twin, what to do when someone is boring us!
I suppose I began wondering about boredom years ago when I started wondering about leisure and free time: that is, what do we do when we have nothing TO do? And this kind of open freedom to choose, to think, to question is actually not boring at all. Today, our time is crammed with attention-grabbing devices and we are still bored. So what is it that makes us bored?
Like you, I'm sure, I have been bored and sometimes Ive been caught in conversation with someone one might *call* a bore. But the more I have studied this phenomenon, the more I got pulled in to learn more. My first guest this season Haesun Moon awakened me to the fact that we cant always be right in reading someone`s cues of boredom... sometimes a yawn is just a yawn. And my next guest, Nick Epley echoed Haesun in that the most accurate way to find out how someone else feels about your conversation is to ask them. Which may not always be that easy to do when you are talking about boredom! Sandi Mann fills in the gap on this topic because she has done much of that leg work in her research, directly asking people what makes them bored in conversation.
She leads us through just what kind of emotion boredom is, and why it is so rightly dreaded, in conversation at least, both as speaker and as listener. We discuss which characteristics top the charts in making conversation boring... some may seem obvious, like not having an engaging tone, some counterintuitive, like not allowing interruptions, or repeating topics, even urgent ones like climate change. I'll let you listen to her to find out more!
What is cool about Sandi`s take here goes beyond learning how we as speakers may avoid be boring ourselves, to why we instinctively want to do so! She also helps us discover how we, as listeners, may still find meaning in these sometimes-trying moments and ultimately open ourselves to gratitude for a variety of relationships.
Sandi Mann is the Director of The Mind Training Clinic in Manchester, Senior Psychology Lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire, and author. Her latest book is The Science of Boredom.
Sandi recommends… when not in conversation letting your mind wander, whether losing yourself in swimming or creating art, such as adult colouring or the simple but joyful works of deco patch.
Thanks to the VCTA for their suppport for this episode.
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Behavioral psychologist Nick Epley joins me to discuss small talk with strangers, and how certain misconceptions keep us from saying hello more often or getting deeper into more meaningful conversations.
I kept finding myself reading about talking to strangers and small talk ever since my episode last January with Dylan Reid, when we spoke about public space. And the more I read, the more often I found I was reading about Nick Epleys work and in his work what comes out is just how wrong we can be in our assumptions about others in conversation. If we can understand that we have “miscalibrated expectations” about others interest and our own enjoyment in conversation, perhaps we can get over this reluctance to engage with strangers. We confront this with other potential barriers including introversion, cultural norms and technolgy. This research has totally changed Nicks own life. Will it change yours? The stakes couldnt be bigger. Improved social lives increase happiness and longevity and improved sociality could rebuild our frazzled societies through more caring connections with those in our daily lives.
Nicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science, and Director of the Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. We dig into his paper, co-written with Michael Kardas and Amit Kumar, “Overly Shallow? Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversations” (2022) in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Attitudes and Social Cognition, and his book Mindwise (2014). Published in more than two dozen empirical journals, his work has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, CNN, Wired, and National Public Radio.
Nick recommends... practice inspiration from the hilarious and addictive vlog “100 Days of Rejection” with Jia Jiang (2012), https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/100-days-of-rejection-therapy
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Haesun Moon, communication scientist and coach, takes us to what we all want, be it at work or at home. This may sound huge, and maybe quixotic, yet through careful study of over ten thousand hours of conversation, Haesun has found patterns to form a new evidence-based guide to better conversations and so, better lives.
Her work is also exciting for me as it combines both sides of the theme on Flow. That is on the one hand, the power of conversation, in possibilities of healing and helping, but also potentially the problems, as conversation, if we are not careful, can conversely sour relationships and obfuscate goals. In our back and forth what emerges is an understanding that we create ourselves through our stories. From this perspective, she heightens a sensitivity to our words -- as precise choices may allow us to create who we want to become as a whole self, an organization and a society.
However, Haesun has determined that it is not only the words we speak that are important, but also the words we hear. Her approach of “solutions-based dialogue” in fact springs from a simple yet pointed attention to listening, from noticing what someone has already done, to hearing where they may really want to go. Listening thus becomes a key for orienting each other and ourselves to a keener appreciation of our destinations… and of the people in our home and work environments who “talk” us there.
Faculty at Harvard`s Institute of Coaching (McLean Hospital Affiliate, Harvard Medical School), and at the University of Toronto, Haesun also serves as Executive Director at the Canadian Centre for Brief Coaching. Her latest book is a gift of her learning, Coaching A-Z: the extraordinary use of ordinary words (2022), https://www.coachingatoz.com/
Haesun Moon recommends... On Dialogue (1990) by David Bohm.
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Anne-Marie Lafortune joins me to talk about authentic conversations in a second language. Maybe this is something, being summertime, that makes me think of travel. This year the numbers on international travel are up and we see how ardently people are wanting to explore and connect, even in the face of flight delays and lost luggage. There is no doubt that learning a language helps us explore distant lands and cultures.
My own trip a few years back to South Africa, a country of 11 official languages, had me reading the local writers and among them, this gem from Trevor Noah:
Nelson Mandela once said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” He was so right. When you make the effort to speak someone else's language, even if it's just basic phrases here and there, you are saying to them, “I understand that you have a culture and identity that exists beyond me. I see you as a human being” (qtd in Born a Crime).
Anne-Marie will explain how, no matter if we are old or young, introvert or extrovert, we all can get closer to that heartfelt connection through conversation in a second language, even while at home. But if practice is key, it is not always easy to find conversation partners! And it can be downright intimidating when trying to find your words in another language.
Having taught English as a Second Language (ESL) in Korea, France and Australia, now as a professor at Gaspé Peninsula and the Islands College in Quebec (or Cégep de la Gaspésie et des îles), Anne-Marie has created a new possibility of conversation exchange for learners through the platform www.worldchat.live. With this platform, as students connect to non-native speakers from the four corners of the globe, she reflects on the benefits of these exchanges, going far beyond grammar, that open up the empathic world of knowing other peoples and, ultimately, becoming a better person.
Anne-Marie has received the 2018 award from the Canadian Association for Teacher Education and is working on the impact of distance education and Community of Inquiry. I first came to hear about her projects in the cafeteria line-up from a mutual colleague and I am very grateful for what I have learned since. I invited her to come on the show as soon as we met with my own hope that her words may reawaken, as Mandela says, speaking to the “heart” through each others` languages.
Anne-Marie recommends... How Learning Works, by Susan A Ambrose et al; Why Don’t Students Like School, by Daniel T. Willingham; If You Don’t Feed the Teachers, They Will Eat the Students!, by Neila A. Connors; Happy Teachers Change the World, by Thich Nhat Hanh and Katherine Weare.
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Kim Wheeler (top right) and Jolene Banning (bottom left), award-winning writers, producers, podcasters and Indigenous Aunties, share their vision for their podcast Auntie Up!, a program by, for and about Indigenous women. Though a conversation space explicitly created for Indigenous women, they open the circle to all genders and peoples. Here is an opportunity for everyone because these women have important stuff to say. And with Indigenous legacy an inextricable part of our shared inheritance, it is worth our while to listen.
The timing for our talk is a happy coincidence because it's June and that means it's National Indigenous History Month on Turtle Island, or Canada, where we carve out a special time to recognize and honour First Nations, Inuit and Metis Peoples' history and culture.
But I have long waited for this chance to talk with Kim and Jolene because Auntie Up! really grabbed me, having introduced me to the concept of the Auntie in Indigenous cultures. I wanted to explore this pivotal role of the matriarch who, in guiding younger members of the community, embodies a distinct kind of conversation: one of trust, tough truths, kindness, and love. Though all of us may have aunts in our family, or older family friends we endear with this title, the Indigenous “Auntie” traditionally carries deeper responsibilities to reach and teach the youth and the community. These two Aunties, along with Tanya Talaga as executive producer, have taken on that role with gusto in their podcast, updating the relationship with a modern twist for the realities of many Indigenous living off the reserve.
We chat about inspiration from their own Aunties, and how their podcast covers a range of hard-hitting to lighthearted topics through multiple perspectives and storytelling. Stay tuned to discover what lies ahead for the Aunties!
https://makwacreative.ca/auntie-up
Jolene Banning recommends... as a good place to start: 21 Things You May Not Know about the Indian Act by Bob Joseph.
Kim Wheeler recommends... Monkey Beach, by Eden Robinson, a brilliant author who paints rich characters and settings; and if youre in Vancouver, trying out Indigenous cuisine at the restaurant: Salmon n Bannock.
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With social historian Nicholas Terpstra, professor at University of Toronto, we go into the problem of drawing out erased voices of the past, a conversation mediated by manuscripts and transposed over time. We focus our attention on the case of a Renaissance orphanage for young girls, The Pieta, where the girls were dying in frighteningly high numbers. That conversation is filled with a panoply of sources from a broad company of figures: women and men, surviving orphans, caretakers, bookkeepers, patricians and tax officials. With writers fulfilling different roles, and spurred on by different motives, the reader of manuscripts has to suss out who is diligent and reliable, and who evasive or silent. Beyond what is expressly said, we learn an attentive reader has to fill in the gaps of manuscripts gone missing (or recycled), and that the physicality of manuscripts, for example the handwriting, can sometimes help elaborate on these questions. Nick, who has spent his career giving voice to the voiceless in history, takes us along these conversations, which became an ongoing back-and-forth between the girls, caretakers, and officials of Renaissance Florence, and himself, his research assistants (like me) and other collaborators today.
Of Nicks numerous works, we refer to Abandoned Children of the Renaissance, The Art of Executing Well, Lost Girls, Lives Uncovered: A Sourcebook of Everyday Life in Early Modern Europe and his digital humanities project, DECIMA, which contributed to the suite of smartphone apps (Hidden Cities) that present historical walking tours of early modern cities.
Nick recommends… a novel, a memoir and a popular history: The Childrens Book (2009) by A.S. Byatt, where youll get totally transfixed by the interconnections of families in England as the First World War advances; an astonishing memoir of the Holocaust, The Hare with Amber Eyes by Edmund de Waal (2010); and Vermeers Hat: The Seventeenth Century and the Dawn of the World (2009), by China historian Tim Brook, who tells the history of global trade, taking off from a painting of Vermeer in each chapter.
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Journalist and writer Anna Goldfarb leads us through both the pitfalls and the fun of conversation on that all important first date. We explore in particular how to cope with the altered dating scene within the current backdrop of the pandemic. I think this is such an important topic at this time, for singles and couples alike, because it is a reminder of that deep human drive to have intimate connections, whether a serious love relationship or a light romance. At the same time, in these endless Covid waves, a relationship can give us that hand to hold to help us through hard times. With humour and understanding, Anna infuses her positivity into how we can improve our chances of getting there by adding thoughtful tweaks to our approaches or by bouncing back from fumbles. And who doesn`t want to up their conversational game? Be it with those we already love or those we hope to love someday.
I first discovered Anna Goldfarb through her work in the New York Times where her compassion for people struggling through Covid, especially singles, was palpable. Still super relevant is her piece on how to avoid dismissive positivity: "What to say when people tell you their coronavirus fears" (NYT, July 3, 2020). In addition, she has written articles for Vice, Vox, Time magazine (upcoming), and her first book, chronicling her own romantic misadventures: Clearly, I didn`t think this through. She has another book in the works on how to be a remarkable friend. Find Anna on Twitter: @AnnaGoldfarb.
Anna recommends... How Not to Die Alone (2021) by Logan Ury.
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Marcel Danesi discusses with me the semiotics of teen talk in a moment of major transition, as we are moving more and more from face-to-face conversations and print culture to a digital world. Drawing on Giambattista Vico, he starts by identifying teenage speech as a veritable dialect meant to distinguish itself from the adult world as well as consolidate identities within peer groups. We then move to the digital communications that dominate teenage conversations today in texts, Instagram, and TikTok, and explore how the brevity, rapidity and universality that characterize these media may affect belonging and also meaning. At the same time, Marcel indicates the rich emotional texture emojis can weave into these verbal-visual exchanges, both in intimate and professional messages. Now professor emeritus of University of Toronto's Department of Anthropology, Marcel ignited my own interest in Vico when he was my Italian linguistics professor in undergrad (!). Among the numerous books he has written on youth culture and semiotics, I want to signal, Cool: the Signs and Meanings of Adolescence, The Semiotics of the Emoji, and Geeks, Goths, and Gangstas and Understanding Nonverbal Communication.
Marcel recommends... Understanding Media (1964) by Marschall McLuhan and La scienza nuova (1744) by Giambattista Vico.
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Laura Bourjolly, who has spent the last 10 years working for various international NGOs, recounts her personal experience in overcoming hurdles listening to locals in the context of humanitarian work. Regularly navigating linguistic and cultural differences in low resource areas or conflict zones — from Togo, Malawi, Haiti, the Central African Republic, and the Democratic Republic of Congo to Gaza and Afghanistan — she shares with Sheila how she learns customs and insights from local staff, receives outpourings of struggle and trauma from community members, as well as maintains essential relationships with family and friends back home.
Laura recommends... seeking out locals in their own voices, directly, wherever they are: books, news articles, Twitter, Instagram, films and documentaries.
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Dylan Reid explains to Sheila how public space can encourage unexpected encounters and thriving community life. From basic courtesies, small talk, to the buzz of conversation, he explores how talk happens and its effect on us when we are out and about. Key elements of city design that foster these exchanges are outlined as are some ideas we may adopt to foster greater inclusion in public space. Dylan dips into historical perspectives as well to compare how negotiating trust with different communities occurred in earlier times. Dylan is Executive Editor of Spacing, co-founder of Walk Toronto, author of Toronto Public Etiquette Guide, and "To Speak Well and Prudently" in Communication by Performance (1200-1700).
Dylan Reid recommends... "Why complexity improves the quality of city life," in Urban Age by Richard Sennett, and The Social Life of Small Urban Spaces, by William Whyte.
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Lili Petrovic shares her experience as a volunteer carer for the dying in palliative care and hospice, from her time working at the Royal Victoria hospital and the Jewish General hospital in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. In spending time with people at this crucial juncture in their lives, she bears witness to their rawest moments and responds to profound needs. Lili relays that conversation during this final phase in life has a different emphasis than in our regular lives. Whereas some may not want conversation with a stranger, others need it deeply, even those who may not feel like saying anything themselves or whose physical ability to speak is impaired. Part of her story takes us through performing small, seemingly mundane tasks, like getting water or calling for an orderly. What moved me most, however, was to hear that it is often in silence that communication at this stage reaches the deepest -- so that non-verbal interaction, from the touch of the hand to holding someone's gaze, allows much to be shared and appreciated. Lili also tells us how, as a philosophy professor at Vanier College, her teaching has helped her explore the confounding idea of our mortality. We finish our discussion with the situation of end-of-life care in Canada today by examining the importance of having real choices, not only between medical treatments and medical assistance in dying (MAID), but also with the option of living out our lives until the last, with comfort. I feel grateful to Lili on a personal level for heightening my sensitivity and making me feel more ready for end-of-life conversations in caring togetherness. Lili Petrovic recommends... these books: Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande; and 'The Death of Ivan Illyich,' by Leo Tolstoy.
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David Shantz, chaplain with Correctional Service Canada for 25 years, brings us behind the bars into the prison setting. Having worked with inmates throughout their incarceration, he joins me to talk about how inmates’ needs in conversation evolve from the moment they arrive in prison, to solitary confinement, through their ongoing sentence, to their eventual release. Conversation is shown to be a primary way for “the guys” to retain their human dignity and adapt to institutional challenges on the inside, while it also has the potential to create a bond of trust with and care for the larger society. We explore how David extended this circle of conversation to the outside community through Restorative Justice programs: the Face-to-Face program, which facilitates conversations between convicts of a certain crime with victims of the same type of crime; and the Building Bridges program, which fosters an environment of community between prison inmates and volunteers, in which I was fortunate to have participated. Lastly, David recounts how after his retirement he continues to work with ex-inmates in halfway houses as they work to stitch back the fabric of society by making quilts for donation to those in need.
David Shantz recommends... for more information on volunteering in conversation programs with inmate populations: The Community Chaplain at 514-978-8881 or for Quebec, the Quebec Regional Headquarters, 400-4 Laval Pl, Laval QC H7N 5Y3, Phone: 450-972-7768.
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Thomas Mulcair reflects on the tone of political discourse throughout his 25 years in politics, having served in Quebec, as Minister of Sustainable Development, Environment and Parks, and in Ottawa as the leader of the New Democratic Party and of the Official Opposition. Regarded, even by his critics, as one of the most effective leaders of the Opposition, primarily for his effective prosecutorial style during question period, he notes the differences between the debates in Quebec City and Ottawa, and recognizes how heckling unfairly targets women in particular. He also speaks of the reality behind the scenes, recalling the common civility, friendships and even parties that bring members of parliament together. What comes out is a contrast between not only the political disagreements and the genuine human relationships of Canadian politicians, but also the contrast between the working relationships of the political class and a mounting climate of intolerance in the wider public, on the right and on the left, leading at times to verbal assaults and physical attacks. Who and what may be responsible for this disconnect and how may we shape our political discussions to create a safer and more civil exchange for all Canadians? Tom speaks candidly with myself, Sheila Das, as we resume a connection we had while I was a volunteer for the NDP riding of Outremont.
Thomas Mulcair recommends... to those in public life: "The only way I can think to tell somebody who‘s having that sort of problem to deal with [vicious attacks] is to ignore the social media... I mean don't read them."
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