In this episode, Tyll and Katharina talk to Jessica about her experience of writing and defending her Ph.D. thesis and the severe strain it put on her mental health. In the second part of this interview, we talk about the genderedness of discourses of resilience and suffering and why it is so difficult to acknowledge traumatic experiences involved in pursuing an academic career. Finally, Jessica tells us more about how she exercised agency to create her actual Ph.D. defense as a situation of security and support for herself by inviting students, colleagues and friends.