One of my clients started seeing a psychiatrist many years ago because she was concerned that she was too quiet. As a journalist she is completely capable of carrying on a conversation, but on a personal level she is not a big talker. So she went to see if anything was wrong.

Her psychiatrist put her on medication for depression, which she has taken faithfully for years.

My client started working with me because of suicidal ideation that had been a feature of her life in recent years. What she recently realized was that she never had suicidal thoughts until she started taking anti-depressants.

Recent research has proven that anti-depressants can cause major unwanted side effects, including anxiety. It seems doctors have been too quick to prescribe, and too slow—or unavailable— to follow up on issues related to withdrawal. This is the traditional way the modern medical model treats depression.

But I think we can do better than that. Alternative approaches are becoming more available as people start to understand the severe limitations of anti-depressants.

So I wanted to share 3 of my favorite resources to help you understand alternative ways of working with depression and anxiety. This is not a magic pill, and there is work involved—learning new practices, opening to new viewpoints and doing the hard work of staying present with yourself long enough to know your patterns.

If you are up for it, you have tools that will get you through any life circumstance. These books will change the way you think about your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

3 Resources for Working With Intense States of Mind1. Already Free, by Bruce TiftMy former psychology professor at Naropa University has a contemplative view of psychotherapy. According to Bruce Tift, we can approach working with our emotions from two different—complementary and opposite—angles. The developmental approach is what guides traditional psychotherapy, and it looks at the behaviours, patterns and beliefs that govern how we show up in the world. According to this view, learning “adult behaviours” is how to work with our state of mind. When we learn to tolerate difficulty without acting out or blaming others, we stop acting like children and learn to grow up.

Pair this with the fruitional approach—the Buddhist perspective that everything is actually fine, just as it is. We may not like it, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. We can learn to relax into discomfort without thinking that we are wrong just because we don’t always feel happy about our lives.

Working in the middle path between these perspectives, we learn to tolerate greater emotional intimacy as well as a capacity to rest in the groundlessness of not knowing.

1. Quiet, by Susan CainThis one was a game changer for me. In a world that rewards extroverts with praise and success, being an introvert can feel like a diagnosis. Being quiet is not a disease. It is the preferred way of being for a large minority of humans— including many artists, writers and philosophers—those who prefer to listen and observe rather than talk.

But since the majority dictates what is socially acceptable, introverts often feel sidelined and, well, wrong. To sum up the premise of this book, not only is being quiet OK, it is the source of your wisdom.

1. How to Change Your Mind, by Michael PollanI cried at the end of this book. Why? Because after sharing all the incredible research that has been done on the healing properties of psychotropic plants—especially psychedelic mushrooms— it became clear that the only reason we have not benefitted from this research over the past 40 years is a closed-minded government intent on giving power to pharmaceutical corporations.

You’ll need an open mind to read this book. If you have that, I think you are in for a revolution.

My client’s introversion is not a disease. It is part of what makes her unique. In a world that prizes conformity it can feel confusing to know what is mentally unhealthy, and what is mentally healthy but just different than most. Learning how to manage our emotions and mental health is a first step in taking responsibility for our own lives.

If you want to learn more, check out this program to Get tools, tips, guided meditations and more resources for working with anxiety. do the whole course in under a week.