Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: Going Out With Dignity, published by Bjartur Tómas on the LessWrong. DF was born with a time bomb in his genome, a deadly curse more horrifying than most. The name of this curse was Fatal familial insomnia (FFI). Wikipedia describes the usual progression of this hell: The disease has four stages:[8] Characterized by worsening insomnia, resulting in panic attacks, paranoia, and phobias. This stage lasts for about four months. Hallucinations and panic attacks become noticeable, continuing for about five months. Complete inability to sleep is followed by rapid loss of weight. This lasts for about three months. Dementia, during which the person becomes unresponsive or mute over the course of six months, is the final stage of the disease, after which death follows. From the case report DF's psychologist wrote after his death: DF was a right-handed, 52-year-old, white, American man with a doctorate in naturopathy. DF's father, paternal uncle, and 2 male cousins were diagnosed with fatal familial insomnia (FFI). His father died at age 76; his uncle died at age 74; and each of DF's cousins died before the age of 50. Not only is there no cure for FFI; there is no known cure for any prion disease. On the day it became clear he was experiencing the same symptoms his relatives did, DF must have known his chances were terrible. And even the minuscule odds that he could find a solution were marred by the fact that his problem-solving organ was the very part of him that was beginning to degrade. And if there was a way out, how could he come up with a solution when he was so, so tired? If only he could get just a little bit of rest. There is a motivational technique I use occasionally where I look at my behavior and meditate on what my revealed preferences imply about my actual preferences. Often, I am disgusted. I then note that I am capable of changing my behavior. And that all that is required to change my revealed preferences is to change my behavior. Though there is an element of sophistry in this line of thinking, I can report some anecdotal success. Many of us here, like DF, believe we have a deadly curse - or at least we believe we believe we have a deadly curse. Since I read The Basic AI Drives, I have known abstractly the world is doomed. Though my system 1 seems to have difficultly comprehending this, this belief implies I, and everyone and everything I love, am doomed, too. Through the lens of my revealed preferences, I either do not truly think the alignment problem is much of a problem, am mostly indifferent to the destruction of myself and everything I care about, or I am choosing the ignoble path of the free-rider. I notice I am disgusted. But this is good news. All that is required to change my revealed preferences is to change my behavior. DF's first tools were those of his naturopathic trade. He reported some success with a vitamin cocktail of the standard throw-in-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink, alternative-medicine style. Perhaps something in his cocktail had some effect as his progression was slower than normal. But slow progression is progression just the same: By month 15 (early stage II), vitamins alone failed to induce sleep. Following 5 consecutive nights of insomnia, DF became intensely irritable and delusional. An evaluation at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, found that he had suffered a minor stroke; he was anesthetized until he fell asleep. While hospitalized, he slept for 3 consecutive days and was fully alert and refreshed afterward. Noticing the efficacy of the anesthetics, DF began to use them regularly: Ketamine and nitrous oxide induced short (15-minute) periods of restful sleep, and were reapplied to offer more prolonged relief. Chloral hydrate in a light alcohol mix and/or chloroform also worked. Approximately 15 m...