Bridget (@ginger.cat.space.daddy), a local MUA (makeup artist) and IT Project manager at a law firm, joins Zoe Airriona and Deion Delgado to unpack queerness and identity. Deion unpacks his experience in the world as a gay black cisgender man. Bridget explores the concept of not finding attraction in any gender as a cisgender woman, while Zoe speaks on her limited experience in the queer community as a bisexual cisgender woman. The three of them learn from one another as they share their vastly differing perspectives, explore their own experiences and biases, and explore how society shapes our identity.
TRIGGER WARNING: This podcast discusses interracial dating and racism as it is one of our speakers experiences within their dating history. Additionally, our guest speaks to their experience in dissociating during sex and utilizing alcohol as a means to do so. Please, if these are conversations you are not looking to unpack, the hosts advise that you wait for the next podcast topic that fits into your self-awareness journey. Deion Delgado and Zoe Airriona’s intention is not to have their listeners unpack topics they are not ready to explore.
SONGS MENTIONED:
Deion Delgado’s Song
Sweetest Pie - Megan Thee Stallion
Be Alive - Beyonce
Pablow the Blowfish - Miley Cyrus
Zoe’s Songs
Stay Flo- Solange
Work B*tch - Britney Spears
Bridget’s Songs
Life Song - The Black Angels
Molasses - Kan Wakan
KEYWORDS & VOCABULARY:
Cisgender - describes a person whose gender identity and sex assigned at birth are the same
Pansexual - not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity
Bisexual - attracted to both men and women
Compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) - theory that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced upon women by a patriarchial ad heteronormative society; term was popularized by Adrienne Rich in her 1980 essay titled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesibian Existence”
Asexual - a person who has no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone
Demisexual - sexual orientation in which a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they’ve developed a close emotional bond with them
Sapiosexual - finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing
Misogyny - dislike of, contempt for or ingrained prejudice against women
Gender expression - the way in which a person expresses their gender identity, typically through their appearance, dress, and behavior
Monosexism - referred to as biphobia, monosexism is a form of oppression that promotes exclusive heterosexual, lesbian, or gay male behaviors as the only legitimate concepts of sexual orientation
Videos mentioned: Compulsory Heterosexuality | Hannah Witton
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq5S8O0FpS8 )
Readings mentioned: “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” by Adrienne Rich
FIND YOUR SPOT:
00:00 - Introduction
00:05 - Trigger warning & topic summary
03:01 - Introducing Bridget
04:05 - Feeling/Song Segment- Deion’s Choices
09:30 - Feeling/Song Segment - Zoe’s Choices
12:14 - Feeling/Song Segment - Bridget’s Choices
15:21 - Queerness & identity conversation begins
20:04 - Discussing attraction - Zoe’s perspective
22:40 - Discussing attraction- Deion’s perspective
24:05 - Discussing attraction - Bridget’s perspective
27:41 - The value of women and misogyny
34:16 - Dating as a gay black men
37:44 - Delgado v. Deion
41:34 - Perspective from Bridget
43:22 - Dating talk
44:19 - Deion’s perspective on dating
45:28 - Same sex dating & gender roles
46:10 - Same sex dating through Bridget’s eyes
47:48 - Dating and the power of words with Zoe
49:16 - Dating and gender roles with Deion
49:59 - Deion “After Dark”; Deion explains the significance of being a “top”, “bottom” and “verse” in the gay cismen community
53:12 - Masculine & feminine labels
58:00 - Quick note on gender expression
59:21 - Bridget on dating women
1:03 - Deion unpacks dating men
1:04 - Deion & interracial dating
1:05 - Bridget unpacks the male gaze
1:06 - Zoe talks intersectionality in the queer community
1:09 - Talking compulsory heterosexuality
1:13 - Compulsory heterosexuality with Bridget
1:21 - Deion unpacks men and masculinity
1:30 - Deion unpacks race and dating men
1:32 - Zoe expands upon race & dating
1:35 - Final thoughts
1:37 - Closing questions
1:40 - Final disclosure & close