Today I want to talk to you about what I believe are the three most destructive words in the English language.

It’s not “I hate you.”

No. The three words I’m talking about seem innocuous. They’re uttered daily by people who think nothing of what they’re saying. They seem almost innocent, but they might be the three most destructive words in the English language.

“I would, but...”

A wise man once told me that every word in a sentence that precedes ‘but’ is a lie.

“I would, but...” means “I won’t.”

It’s three little words that finds excuses over solutions.

It’s three little words that gives you permission not to bother.

But what makes these three words so galling is they’re often linked to something important, something meaningful, something that person would love to do.

But it means taking a risk, it means making a change, and getting out of your comfort zone.

It could mean launching a business. Relocating to warmer climes. Learning a skill. Starting a family. Writing a book. Or inventing an umbrella that doesn’t turn itself inside out at the first hint of wind.

It might be their life’s dream, the one thing that will give them true happiness, the one thing that will raise them from a life that is incomplete.

But instead of figuring how they can, they fixate on why they can’t.

They focus on the obstacle rather than finding a solution.

They say “I would, but...”

These aren’t the words of someone with a dream, someone with a desire to change,.

No. These are the words of your inner saboteur, your inner critic. It’s your brain trying to keep you safe.

But it’s not safe.

If you risk nothing, you risk everything.

“I would, but...”

“I’m not young enough, old enough, smart enough, fit enough...”

There’s always a reason. There’s always an excuse. But, more often than not, the only thing stopping you is you.

After all, a problem is something we don’t understand...yet.

And yet is a powerful word.

When you add the word yet to a phrase like “I can’t” or “I don’t know” it turns it into a possibility, into something your mind can focus on and eventually solve.

“I don’t know, yet.” shows willing. It’s the potential for growth.

“I can’t, yet,” means you will.

Have you heard of the Myers-Briggs Personality Test?

For those unfamiliar, you answer a series of questions about your likes and dislikes, and it spits out a four letter code which tells you who you are.

When I took the test, I came out as an INFJ. Which means I’m highly creative, that I like to ponder the big questions in life, like why are we here, do we have a soul, what happens when we die, and why don’t animals where hats?

It also means I’m often misunderstood, that I’m difficult to get to know, and that I’m highly introverted.

In fact, for me, lockdown was pretty much life as usual, except I had to contend with other people being in the house.

So public speaking is hard for me.

I have so many excuses why I don’t need to do it, why I shouldn’t put myself out there, why all this talky stuff is a waste of time.

Even today, all the “I would, buts” ran through my mind.

But I know those thoughts are irrational. They’re rooted in doubts and fears that only exist in my head.

And if I listened to those doubts, I wouldn’t grow as a person.

In fact, if I’m honest, I’d probably still be at home, lying in bed, and doing nothing.

But I want to live the best life I can.

And if that means doing things that scare me, so be it. It’s better than exuses.

Change those three words.

Say to yourself, “I haven’t, yet...but I will.”