Gratitude is a hot button word in the self-help community, and I tend to shy away from beating the dead horse that it is.

However, it is most talked about because it is life changing and can be a very useful tool, especially if you find yourself stuck in a rut of negative emotion rather than processing it in a healthy way. Gratitude is one of those things where, if you’re feeling grateful, you really can’t be experiencing any other “negative” emotion. I recommend making a list of things you’re grateful for if you do find yourself paralyzed in anxiety, sadness, or anger. Or, you can write down one thing you’re grateful for each night.

My wariness around recommending gratitude comes from the way many people use it to force toxic positivity on others who are going through a difficult situation. There are just some things you’re not going to feel grateful for at first and that’s okay. Sometimes it takes time to accept a situation for what it was and be grateful it ended. No one can rush that process for you and trying to make yourself for grateful for a shitty situation before you’re ready is a recipe for shame. And, if you’ve been listening, you know we don’t mess around with shame as a motivator.

So, practice gratitude for what you’re ready to be grateful for. It will help you acknowledge everything you have in life without shaming you if you do want more too. Remember, both things can always be true.

Wishing you all a blessed Thanksgiving!