Being separated from my mom — her being in Virginia and me being in New York — is causing a compounded grief that has been hard to carry today. On the other side of my anxiety from yesterday, is a heavy depression. They say our grief doesn't shrink — we grow around it. And I believe that to be true. I feel myself growing around it, but it still feels massive. Today, I'm reminded of all that I've lost — the old me, the old 엄마, 아빠, our old life. Our family dog, Sadie. This is an impossible reality to live in, an impossible reality to accept.

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