I never knew how happy I was, until I lost my son to suicide and became so filled with guilt, regret and sadness! I still can't get past the suicide.
I think if he had died naturally, it would have been terrible, but it would not be so hard to accept. I have got to somehow get my head out of the past. I live there now with all my if onlys. I remember feeling happy a lot before he died, now It's just gone. I thought I was a good mom before this, now I feel like a terrible mom. So many...

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