I hear people complaining all the time. Whether it’s about their job, their health, their friends or politics.They are even frustrated about the cold temperature in the winter until the summer arrives so that they can then sigh because of the hot weather. Ridiculous from this perspective, right?

The bad news is: Complaining doesn’t get you anywhere. The good news is: Almost everything can be changed.

This doesn’t mean everything is perfect or otherwise solved within a second. We all start somewhere and this is something we definitely have no control over. This might be unfair, however, it’s way better to play with the hand you were dealt, than to cry over not having a better one.

Once we accepted this fact, we free ourselves up for change. This is no too easy and what’s coming afterward won’t be easier. Change is the one thing our body is wired to avoid since it holds potential danger. We all know that we won’t die from starting to the gym, but how can our out-dated brain know that.

So what is required to turn things around? To me, it comes down to three things.

First of all, we need belief. Belief, that the reward is worth the effort and belief, that we can make it. If we lack one of these two beliefs we won’t even start. Therefore, it’s extremely important to constantly fuel this belief, especially if we are shooting for the stars.

Secondly, effort is required. Anything worthwhile having, doing or being has its price. There is a reason why not everyone is a millionaire, a professional athlete, enlightened or perfectly engaged in his relationships. It’s a physical law, that in order to move something, you need to put energy into it. Without working on something, it will simply stay the same. The greater the aspired change, the greater the necessary amount of effort.

And lastly, the one thing to put in all this effort: will. We need to be willing enough to pay the price, to push past our thresholds, to do more than what others might do. The more we want it, the more likely we are to achieve our goal. This is the reason why our “Why”, our reason for doing certain things, is getting stressed so much, lately.

Do you pass this first test for your ambitions? Great! Because the wonderful thing is, if you constantly work on it, it has to change. There is no way out. Or did you ever hear from someone who went to the gym five times a week for three years and couldn’t notice any changes? Let’s get into some examples where you might unconsciously be in the role of the victim instead of taking on responsibility for your own life and start taking action.

First things first, your money. Okay, just kidding, there are more important things than that, but money is just the perfect example here. It’s socially accepted to just work one’s nine to five, groaning about the long working hours and blaming the boss for one’s poor financial situation because he doesn’t consider a raise to be a fair thing. What we might forget is that we have the main control over our income. In fact, what we get is what we give. How much money we make is in direct correlation to how much value we bring. This can differ a bit, but over the long term, this is the case. And we all can deliver more, if we believe we can and are willing enough to put in the effort into working more, working more efficient or attend seminars etc. The same goes for relationships. Although relationships are often viewed as to be how they are, either a good one or a bad one, at least 50% of the influence towards the relationship is ours. If we don’t take them for granted and if we see that we can improve them and then actually do it through more or better quality time, deeper and more honest conversations, or whatever suits best for the specific type of other person and your connection with him or her, we will see drastic improvements.

You can see that this applies to basically every area of life and therefore leaves us with the great opportunity to probably change anything. It won’t be always easy, but it is possible. Just this realization, that we are fully in charge of our lives should be enough inspiration to start making sustainable changes today.