Chacham Ben Sion, in his Sefer Or L’Sion (page 167) says that part of Ahavat Yisrael is making sure to get rid, in your heart, of the causes of arguments. He says that quite often, arguments are over money, but that if you look into it, you’ll see that it is really childish. As we know, based on our Emuna and Bitachon, money will not save you from anything. This is no different, he says, than children sitting in a sandbox fighting over toys. We are just bigger babies. And this is assuming that you were right and the guy really took your toy away. Sometimes, you only think he took your toy. He says that quite often, from his experience, most of the suspicions that people have are actually false. People assume and imagine, but if we really look into it, in his experience (he was involved in a lot of judgments) much of it is just imagination, built on false foundations, causing arguments that were really never meant to happen. Furthermore, he says that we should live with the dictum of Shlomo HaMelech, “ On all faults, love covers .“ This means that when you really love somebody, you don’t see their blemishes. If you love your grandmother, you don’t see her wrinkles. When you love someone, you don’t see their negative points- and the opposite is true. If you dislike somebody, it will cause you to see their negative points. He gives a Mashal : There are two artist, both painting a picture of a young boy, but one boy is actually one of the artist’s sons. The picture painted by the parent will come out better, because a parent loves his son deep down in his heart, and that love will come out in every stroke. He will only see the positive, so the mole on the boy’s face will be smaller, his eyes will be a little bigger, and he will only accentuate the good points. And the opposite is true. In cartoon caricatures, the artist often draws the nose extra big, because he really doesn’t like that guy very much, and he exaggerates any other faults he can find. But when someone loves someone, it is the opposite. Therefore, what we really have to work on is the interior workings of our psyche. We have to find out what’s causing us to get into these arguments. The cause might be some silly money issue, or it might be just based on dislike. We have to get into the guts of it, to try to fix the causes of our arguments. Have a wonderful day.