We continue with the Bet HaLevi‘s theme that rebuke comes from love. The lack of rebuke comes from a lack of concern. As the pasuk says, “Do not hate your brother in your heart, rather give rebuke to your friend.“ The Sefer Pardes Yosef points out that in first part of this pasuk it says “your brother,” and in the second part it says “your friend.” He explains that it is because the rebuke has to come from a friendship. Furthermore, when you rebuke a person, you can’t turn him into a sinner, because then the words will not have an impact on him. When you rebuke a person, you have to make him feel like he is still special. When it comes out of hatred, rebuke will not make an impact. He says that is why the Gemara says in Masechet Yoma that the Bet HaMikdash was destroyed for Sinat Hinam, whereas in Shabbat (119b) it says it was destroyed because they didn’t rebuke each other. He says that these are the same thing. Because they hated each other, it’s not just that they didn’t rebuke, but rather? that they may have rebuked, but rebuke that comes from hatred does not have an impact. You can only have an impact on someone when you love them. Therefore, it wasn’t that they did not rebuke, but rather that they did it improperly. It didn’t come from the right place. There is a famous commentary on Mishleh 9,8, brought down by many (namely the Alshech in Kedoshim 19,17), which says, אַל־תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן־יִשְׂנָאֶךָּ הוֹכַח לְחָכָם וְיֶאֱהָבֶךָּ׃ Don’t rebuke a scoffer, lest he hates you. Rebuke the wise man, then he will love you. Simply, this means, don’t rebuke the scoffer, do rebuke the wise man. But the Alshech says that when you rebuke him, do not call him a scoffer. Rather, rebuke the wisemen. In other words, tell him that he is wise, and do it in a way that will not cause him to hate you. That is the proper way to give over rebuke. If you tell the person that he is wicked right away, you will not have an impact. Rebuke must always come out of a place of love, and the person has to feel that he is still special in your eyes. Otherwise, it does not work. The Gemarah in Masechet Erechim (16b) says, Rav Yochanan Ben Uri (one of the Tannaim) says,” I testify by the heavens and the earth, Many times Rabbi Akiva was hit by me, because I used to complain about him to Raban Gomliel. (It may not mean that he physically hit him, but he got whacked by his Rabbi, so to say) And it caused more love between them. And he quotes the pasuk above “do not hate your brother in your heart, rather give rebuke to your friend.“ If, after you have rebuked, it does not increase love, that means that you did not rebuke properly. Have a wonderful day