The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Shem Olam ( vol 1, chapter 3), offers a technique for avoiding complaints when someone doesn’t fulfill what you felt he should have done for you. For example, if you want to borrow money for a down payment on a house, and the person you approach refuses. He doesn’t owe you anything, and you have no right to complain, but in your heart, you say, “ What do you mean?This guy knows me. Why doesn’t he want to help me?” Or when the shadchan doesn’t mention a shidduch for you….or any of the myriad of examples of when you thought someone should do something for you and they didn’t… How you avoid complaint? He says that you have to realize that anything that comes to you, or doesn’t come to you is ultimately decided by Hashem. God decides whether that person should do good with you. He has freedom of choice, but ultimately he can’t do something for you if God doesn’t agree that it should happen. He gives the example of when Eliyahu HaNavi was on his way to certain place and needed food. Hashem told him the He commanded a widow to feed him. That lady wasn’t a prophet. We don’t find her communicating with God. But it means that if she decided to do something, it was God that made her do it. Therefore, if someone doesn’t fulfill what you wanted him to, you can’t have any complaints, because it was decided that he is not the messenger. He quotes a “ Gadol Echad/ Great one ( he doesn’t say who) that says it’s comparable to someone looking for a man whose name is Reuven . He asks people to help him find Reuven, and they tell him Reuven is in a certain area. When he goes there, he sees a man and asks if he’s Reuven. But that’s not Reuven, and neither is the next person he asks. Can he complain against the man because he’s not Reuven, he’s Shimon? Can he reprimand him for not being Reuven? It’s the same thing with complaints, says the Chafetz Chaim. When you complain about someone who didn’t do something for you, you’ve made a mistake. He is not the Reuven you are looking for . If he was the Reuven you were looking for, he would have given it to you! This is a heavy duty Emunah Bitachon approach to not having complaints against people. Of course, as we mentioned yesterday, sometimes we have a right to complain. Just like Emunah and Bitachon doesn’t require saying that if someone dented your car, it was meant to be and therefore you don’t ask for compensation. That’s a mistake. We have rights. There are times when it’s right to get paid, and there are times when you have a right to complain. But today we are talking about when you don’t have a right to be complain. How do you deal with it? By saying that this is what Hashem wanted. Sometimes Hashem wants you to ask for the money or go to court, if that’s the right thing to do. Sometimes He wants you to complain. But we are talking about when you don’t have a right to complain or demand money, and you feel taken advantage of. The answer is- You were not. Have a wonderful day.