Birdhands: Recent Episodes
Birdhands
An Introspective reflective perspective watch-along of the movies that shaped us from the 70's, 80's, 90's and beyond... The best and worst of horror, sci-fi, flops and schlock - with talk.
Doctor Birdhands! Paging Doctor Birdhands! You have a telephone call at the front desk.
Join us as we watch something good for a change. This week we gush over our childhood hero and favorite film of our young lives, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure".
It's all about the love this week!
Our good pal Michael Myers is back! In POG form!
Actually in streaming form. So we won't have to wait for the latest offering from the long running Halloween franchise. This is the 12th so far in the series so coming up with new ideas will be key to making this film a success with its die hard fan base.
Go get subscribed to Peacock and watch along with us.
The longest 81 minutes of our lives. Galaxy of Terror. Too crappy to compete with Alien, too slick to compete with The Galaxy Invader.
Three tales of horror from the gang that brought you Creepshow. That alone should reel in some horror fans. But for some reason this just doesn't compare to Creepshow 1 or 2 but is still a decent watch. A bit slower pace than most anthologies but it does have great production values and an all star cast.
Grab some generic cookies and join us in the Birdhole as we watch this nostalgia trip.
Five monsters for the price of one? What a value!
Especially during World War 2 when escapism and saving money was welcome. But even the mighty Universal Monster series eventually got stale and decided to put all their eggs into one basket. But are these eggs golden or rotten?
The smell of sulfur is flowing out of the Birdhole as we enter, the House of Frankenstein!
It happened this many times? People need to ban slumber parties if this keeps taking place.
But then we could not have our special sleepovers in the Birdhole. And then life would not be worth living. So pull up a sleeping bag and get out the Smores, as we view Slumber Party Massacre 3.
This week on Birdhands we watch the movie that inspired us to become garbage men!
Men at Work!
Hell of the Living Dead goes by many titles. But it should be called "Dawn of the Zomble" because it is a mix of Fulci and Romero but directed by Ed Wood.
It is really bad, but also good in a guilty pleasure way. But then again we like strange things here in the Birdhole.
So strap on a strap on and prepare to be violated by this early eighties zombie turd.
Evil Dead is one of the most loved films of the 80's. To me it represents a changing of the guard in terms of directing styles. Sam Raimi was a fresh young filmmaker at the time and was surrounded by other youthful talent that was willing to rough it just to make a 16mm horror film.
Seeing what was going to be put onscreen in terms of gore, it is surprising they were able to get this film made in the first place.
Today on Birdhands we watch 1981's Evil Dead with fresh eyes to see what all the fuss was about.
The Prey kind of falls under the genre of movie that you see the box every time you went to the video store in the 80's, but never rent it until it was a 99 cent rental. Being a strange young fellow I actually did rent this and actually was a bit freaked out by it.
The quiet soundtrack and slow pace were quite intense for a seven year old. Then again I was still scared of the chocolate pie baker falling down the stairs on Sesame Street at that age.
Join us in the Birdhole as we pitch a tent while watching....The Prey! (Theatrical Version 80 Minutes)
Birdhands is back with a brand new invention.
Well, not brand new but at least 65 percent new jokes are featured in this weeks watch along of the 1991 classic, "Cool As Ice".
Time to get into some hometown horror. In fact this may be one of the best Canadian horror movies of all time.
Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are incredible in this 1986 Science Fiction gross out classic. Some of the most repulsive visual effects you will ever see are in this movie.
We already have our buzz on, so hang on to your fingernails and get ready to take a trip, on "The Fly".
If you think that you can take the formula that made 1982's "E.T." a major box office smash and recreate it without the talent of Steven Speilberg and Industrial Light and Magic then you are wrong. Dead wrong.
In fact, this week on Birdhands we will present the evidence to back up this claim.
"Mac and Me" is what you get when believe that money can replace heart and passion. Just because Ronald McDonald and Coca Cola have you covered it does not mean you will come out on top. Trust us. It is worse than a plate of McRib's.
This week on Birdhands we watch four more classic Degrassi episodes.
Degrassi Junior High Season 2 - Episodes 6 and 11
Degrassi High Season 1 Episode 14 and Season 2 Episode 7
Sync yourself up! You've got a new friend!
Remember the first time the creators of Halloween decided to ask the fans to forget particular installments in the series?
Well, it was 23 years ago and they did it again a few decades later. But nothing beats the original slap to the audiences faces and the Birdhands gang was there on opening night to witness Jamie Lee Curtis' return to the role she was destined to milk for the rest of her life.
At the time, "Halloween H20" was like a sunny day after a long cold winter. But now it is more like a late nineties time capsule. Nostalgia was not as big as it is now and this could have been better and much more successful in rebooting the franchise.
This will probably make you remember "Dawson's Creek" more than anything but we would love it if you joined us as we take a sip of H20!
We got this man! We got this by the ass!
We sure do. The original "Dawn of the Dead" is one of the greatest and epic horror movies ever made. And yes this is the one that Generation Z usually refer to as the "more boring one" compared to the remake. But to anyone who remembers renting this on VHS from a local video store in the old days, it is the film that blew your mind.
Seeing this for the first time was so amazing that it is an experience that I try and repeat by getting other people to watch it. I doubt it has the impact it once did now that the genre is played out, but this is the one that really started it all. If you have not seen this, forget our commentary and turn your phone off while you watch it to take it all in.
Then come up for round 2 and view it with Birdhands.
Also we are watching the US Theatrical Cut as that is the best one.
David Cronenberg is a Canadian icon. This week on Birdhands we discuss various parasites we have had and also the ones that are featured in this movie.
Make sure to wear protection, and join us as we get "Shivers".
This week we jump into the lower end of the Elm Street franchise. Not the lowest, but very low.
Join us as we give birth to a mutant Freddy as we watch - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5
Werewolves were all the rage in 1981. Everywhere you went people were howling at the moon and transforming into hairy beasts. Kind of sounds like any given night in the Birdhole except our silver bullets are suppositories at this point not a six pack of Coors Light.
But that's okay as we will be watching a true classic this week. It contains some of the best looking creature effects for any era by Rob Bottin.
Join us as we give you a piece of our minds while we watch and listen to, "The Howing".
Everything was riding on the follow up to the original surprise smash hit "Friday the 13th" in 1981. I don't think they could have imagined at the time that there would be ten more sequels after this was released. It was probably just considered a quick cash grab. But they somehow pulled it off and created one of the longest running movie series in history.
Is this one of the best?
Join us in the Birdhole as we watch and discuss the important things in life as we witness - Friday the 13th Part 2!
It is a mystery why Hulk Hogan is named Rip in this awful film. I could see if he was a character like the Undertaker where the "rest in piece" connection could be made but even then it seems weird.
To me it would be like Disney making a movie with Mickey Mouse and him being named Darren Smith or something other than Mickey.
But that is not the only puzzling thing in this movie. Join us as we train, say our prayers, and take our vitamins as we battle through watching "No Holds Barred".
What did we just watch?
I have to say that "Slumber Party Massacre 2" is the easily the greatest thing since "Slumber Party Massacre 1" and that is the God's truth.
But sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. And that is the case with this film which might be the longest 75 minutes of all time.
So charge up your drill guitar and get ready to rock out with your Birdhands out!
What was Willis talking about?
We get to the bottom of that mystery as well as many others that have haunted us since childhood on this weeks very special episode of Birdhands.
We jump into the fire with a four episode binge of Diff'rent Strokes. We will be watching Season 4 Episode 2, Season 5 Episode 1 and 2, and Season 7 Episode 1.
So dig those ones up and join us as we move the world. Hmmmmmm!
This week on Birdhands we crack into a franchise that does not get the respect it probably deserves.
While it may be remembered mainly for the first two films in the series, every kid in the 80's knew all about these lovable creatures.
Join us as we travel through time and remember how we wasted our childhood years watching gems like "Critters 2 - The Main Course".
We all know we would create Kelly LeBrock on our home computers if we could.
You can't though, we tried and it backfired horribly. A melting Barbie doll burnt down half of the Birdhole.
But we found a way to still watch this 1980's teen classic where the greatest older brother character ever steals the show.
Join us with a bra on your head as we watch: Weird Science!
Come mister tally man tally me banana. This film is not only one of the worst sequels in film history, but also responsible for ruining the Banana Boat song by Harry Belafonte. Every time I hear it I think of the people getting eaten by Jaws in this movie.
I presume it is Jaws. Or at least his son. Why else does he have such a grudge for the Brody family? I wonder if Jaws is also stalking Richard Dreyfuss?
These are the answers the world needs right now. And we at Birdhands are here to give them to you.
Friends forever. That is our mantra down here in the bowels of the Birdhole. But we have never had a theme song to go along with it.
That all changed when we feasted our eyeholes on this lost gem of a film. The unfortunately fictional band "Dragon Sound" is only the icing on this messy but delicious cake. It seems like the result you would get if you had a focus group of people who never made a movie and asked them all what would make a movie awesome. The answer would be everything And only after you viewed the final result would you realize why movies like this are not made.
But we are glad it was made, because for all the drawbacks this has, it is amazing. So much heart and good intention went into this and that makes it hard to make fun of. But we will anyway!
Freddy vs. Jason is a schoolyard conversation and debate that was had by every child of the eighties come to life on the silver screen. Only thing is, it was twenty years too late and times had changed with movie audiences. Not really for the better either.
This is really just an Elm Street movie with a guest appearance by Jason Voorhees. No respect for the Jason character at all. But I do remember the hype around this when it was released and we saw it opening night.
But how will it hold up all these years later? Join us and place your bets!
The more things change, the more they stay the same. It has been a whopping sixty years since the worlds biggest and feared monsters collided on screen, and they are about to do it again.
Godzilla Vs Kong will be released on video on demand next week. But it already happened in this classic Toho film which marked Godzilla's third outing and one of his last as a bad guy.
It has quite possibly the worst monster suit ever put in a major movie. Kong is just awful looking from any angle. That being said, we here in the Birdhole don't mind at all. In fact we think you should grab a barrel of berry juice and join us as we watch two titans go at it for all the marbles.
This week it's.... King Kong Vs. Godzilla!
Creepshow is one of the few movies that kind of falls into its own category. If you had to describe it to someone who has never heard of it, you would find it hard to explain exactly what it is. The tagline on the poster is bang on, "The Most Fun You'll Ever Have Being Scared". That is very accurate. Nothing in this film is meant to be taken all that seriously, but the material and everyone involved with it show it complete respect.
George Romero's reputation as an indie underdog often overshadows the achievement of this film opening at number one when it was released. It was a big box office success for Warner and probably would have done double the business if it was not rated R.
In my opinion this film is a masterpiece. The one thing I always liked about it is that each story feels like it takes place in an alternate universe that captures the joy of EC comics from the 1950's. Anyone who is a fan of those knows what I mean.
So some bug spray and cue up the greatest comic book movie ever made.
Just a side note, we had a technical glitch near the end of the last segment which cut off the last few minutes of the movie. Must have been roaches in the studio!
Dog will hunt! We at Birdhands have been coming up short in our hunt for a decent movie in the last few years. Our success rate is about 2 percent to date.
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" is a truly awful film that only really exists to prove to the world that Matthew McConaughey is an amazing actor. I think that this could be an example of the most professional actor alive. Most would not want to stand out in a movie like this but he goes full on method actor no matter how bad you know it will be.
I guess for his performance it's worth a look but everything else in it is just garbage. Leatherface looks like Susan Boyle crossed with Brian May.
For all you out there who like to suffer like we do, cue up this turd and watch along with us, because it is about to get stinky.
Hellraiser is Clive Barker's most well known work to date. But the author turned director was not very happy with film he made. Which is strange because it was a hit with horror fans almost instantly when released.
It's a shame that the many awful sequels that were made mostly without Barker's involvement really brought the franchise down a few notches. The real eye candy of the film are the Cenobites that appear mostly in the final moments of the movie. They are the reason that it is such a memorable motion picture. Not many people remember the main characters, but they always remember Pinhead and the rest of his gang of nightmarish pals.
So what is your pleasure?
Ours is a 10 pack of Timbits and a few coffees. So let us tear your soul apart with this weeks episode, "Hellraiser".
Ba ba ba na na ba ba baaaa!
The Blue Oyster song would send people into hysterics back in the mid-eighties. Now it just seems puzzling how the police did not know their district all that well. But it was still fun to see what kind of hijinks this cast of characters would get into every year when a new installment would come out.
This was the last one that is fondly remembered by most. Kids everywhere loved these movies and I guess adults didn't mind them either. But will they hold up and be as funny as they were 30 years later?
Let's find out....
Birdhands has been a victim of peer pressure. We have been asked to do this movie in a forceful way and feel bullied into watching this turd. That's okay with us though as we have sat in, and through bigger turds than this so we can handle it.
Troma movies are in a class all their own. Somewhat entertaining but also like they are trying to make a bad movie because they lack the balls to make a good one. Like hipsters that tell you that they only listen to obscure music you have never heard of, so you never can gauge if they actually have taste.
And Troma is an acquired taste. But since we have no taste we will open wide and take one for the team. Let us enroll you and ourselves, in the Class of Nuke 'Em High!
Garbage Day!
This week we tackle the holiday classic that was a meme before they were invented. Eyebrows and amazing line delivery are on the menu for this very special episode of Birdhands!
What's happening in the world today? Everything and everyone has gone insane.
Seems like the only answer to normalize things in the Birdhole is some Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Or Mark Wahlberg as he calls himself now. In this world disaster themed movie he plays a somewhat slow school teacher who has to try and survive some unknown suicide epidemic.
Join us as we spread some good vibrations across the world as we view, "The Happening".
Final Destination is a film series that doesn't take itself too seriously. And sometimes that is just what the doctor ordered. Not every movie needs to be art. But the bridge sequence at the start of Final Destination 5 is a masterpiece. The rest of the film is really nothing special, but is the perfect way to spend some time and have a few laughs along the way.
I think that most people kind of buy in to the idea that when our time to leave earth comes, it was meant to be and cannot be cheated. That could be the reason this film series is so successful.
So while you are waiting for your death day, spend a few hours of your precious life with us in the Birdhole watching this weeks movie, Final Destination 5!
Are you ready for Freddy? We sure are. It is a new year and a fresh start to make all our dreams come true. Last year was a Nightmare even Freddy could not have dreamt up.
This film was the first in the franchise that I saw in the theater. The success was at its peak and this movie was a reflection of that. The energy of "Dream Warriors" is gone and Freddy is now not really a menacing figure. More of a game show host with the prizes being special effects sequences. And while all the effects are top notch, there is not much heart in this movie. It feels like a safe copy of all the previous entries. Part 3 still had new elements and story ideas where this seems built around the kills.
And let's all face reality, a dog pissing on Freddy's grave is the worst way you could bring him back. Very lazy writing. I don't understand how that got green lit other than thinking the audience are chumps and will accept anything. Even as a ten year old I laughed at it.
But we can put that aside for now as we get into our winter time Snuggie's and watch, "A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master"
It's me Billy!
Actually it's Birdhands who is making those obscene phone calls and living in the attic. But we are still ready to watch a Canadian horror classic for the holidays.
Black Christmas is the original slasher movie and is not given the credit is deserves. Usually "Halloween" is cited as the film that launched the splatter craze. And while there is not much in the way of splatter and gore, there is mood, atmosphere, and suspense.
Join us as we celebrate, Black Christmas.
Is Gremlins a Christmas movie? Is Gremlins a horror movie? Is Gremlins a comedy?
Gremlins is all of the above and more. Combining old school story telling with top of the line special effects of the mid 80's you get a timeless masterpiece of cinema.
Yes it's true! We are watching a good movie this week on Birdhands. Prepare to go back in time when you wanted a Mogwai for Christmas and got a Popple instead.
A classic that still stands on it's own two feet, but is better with Birdhands.
Sorry Jack, Birdhands are back!
The truth is we never really left. We are confined to the Birdhole and decided to dip into some more sequels to keep us and you entertained.
The Child's Play franchise is really a hit or miss group of movies. The good thing is that even if they are not great films, just seeing the artistry that went into bringing the doll to life makes them worth watching. They dump the suspense from the first film and go full on Chucky for this entry as it seems that is what the audiences of the time wanted.
And who are we to complain. So grab some Jack in the Box and curl up with us on a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace as we watch...... Child's Play 2!
This week on Birdhands we go back to the future, or is it the past? Maybe we should just jump on top of our van and blast the Beach Boys as we car surf down the main strip. I don't think we could handle that amount of excitement anymore.
But what we can handle is a healthy dose of Michael J. Fox and werewolves. So this week won't you join us as we get sent back to the good old days of 1985 as we watch Teen Wolf!
Halloween 6 is one of the strangest movies ever made. The fork in the road where you try and go a different direction but his a brick wall. They easily could have just forgot about the whole mystery man in black story and rebooted the franchise, but no. They doubled down on a losing hand and lost everything. For this to be the last appearance for Dr. Loomis is a real shame.
For years people thought that the studio interference during this production was the reason for it being so messed up. The Producer's Cut was rumored to be vastly superior and fan's were dying for an official release. But sometimes things are better in the theatre of the mind than on a DVD.
Join us today as we judge for ourselves.
Every day is Valentine's Day in the Birdhole. But today we choo-choo choose you as our special someone. We have some chocolates and flowers that are almost as old as this movie with your name on them.
This overlooked slasher film is more than a Canadian tax write off. It has some of the more creative kills you will see in a horror film from this era.
So put on a red dress and a gas mask and be My Bloody Valentine!
This week we salute our first responders with the story of the most disgruntled ambulance driver of all time.
Friday the 13th Part 5 has to be seen to be believed. So seeing it is our 100th episode, we are going to do just that. Jason Voorhees may not be in this one but I like to pretend it is. Join us as we have a candy bar and some enchiladas as we watch "A New Beginning".
The madness continues on our Degrassi High binge as the Zit Remedy struggles to get their music video made. But Lucy is the only one with a video camera and objects to having girls in bikinis in the video. She settles for having a car driven by a guy who basically assaulted her instead of girls. Good job Lucy.
Also Joey gets dumped for Claude, a real man who would never leave Catlin hanging. Unless it's on a fence. Also Snake, Joey, and Wheels get fake ID's and head out to a strip club. Diana also goes out to get drunk behind her intense brothers back but he shows up to ruin everything.
Join us in the Birdhole as we jump into the world of Degrassi High!
This week on Birdhands we get deep into some vintage Degrassi Junior High!
Joey decides to buy condoms and ask Liz to "do it". While poor Arthur and Yick call into a radio station to talk about wet dreams. Or leaking as Arthur puts it.
Also witness Joey sell instant insanity to some of the less popular girls in school.
So pop some New Zealand Zappers and get mild with us as we watch Degrassi Junior High!
Dead Heat is a one of a kind movie. It has zombies, cops, zombie cops, and Vincent Price!
In 1988 the landscape of horror was changing. Comedy was becoming an excepted addition to horror, and scares were taking a back seat to the special effects. But this is the kind of popcorn movie that was on the rental shelves back then. I loved it when I was young and still think it is pretty entertaining for what it is.
But will it hold up in 2020 now that I am an isolated old grump? Watch along with Birdhands for the answer!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors is one of the few cases when a sequel is better than the original. That seems to be the overwhelming opinion of fans of the series. It always comes down to part one and this movie. They are both clearly the best in the bunch but it comes down to if you like a pure horror movie with a serious tone, or more of a mainstream crowd pleasing spectacle.
This is where it became standard for Freddy to say witty one liners right before he killed you. But as the series went on, it became its downfall. But it works great here and the special effects are top notch.
Join us as we put on our wizard capes and Dokken cassettes as we watch "A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 - Dream Warriors".
Rock and Rule.
If you were a kid in Canada in the 1980's, you will probably remember this being on CBC or First Choice pay tv. That's right, after the cable guy came over and installed a big clunky box on top of your tv made of wood, this is what you could watch.
I remember this as being better than I think it is now, but it still brings me back to the days of pretty well anything that came on television seemed like it was a masterpiece.
Mok is still kind of scary and looks like most of the rock gods from the 80's look now. Steven Tyler sang "Dude Looks Like a Lady" but now that dude looks like Mok.
Won't you join us once again from the socially distant Birdhole as we Rock and Rule?
Alien + Terminator = Alienator.
Movie math always works on paper. But on the screen it is a different story. This week we will offer the proof that this equation is false. But that does not mean that it won't be entertaining. Sometimes a movie can be bad and good all at once without promising anything. All that is promised is an Alienator and the company of your best friends from the Birdhole. Join us!
Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Carol Anne!
That's most of the script from Poltergeist 3. Boy does it get tedious. So to make it more fun bring your old pals from the Birdhole along for the ride! We promise it will be worth it!
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Yes. This is the one without Michael Myers. In fact, it doesn't have a witch either. A witch mask is as close as it gets to justifying that title. But it does have some of the meanest kills in the series. A movie that has the plot of making kids heads explode and turn into bugs and snakes has to be worth a watch.
Join us as we get the most annoying song in a movie stuck in our heads, and our hearts.
If it was a perfect world Jason would have taken Manhattan at the same time as the Muppets.
The movie would have been much more entertaining for sure. For most of this movie the only thing Jason takes is his time getting to the Big Apple via boat. It seems to go on forever and by the time he gets there the audience is half asleep.
I feel like this is the point where Paramount lost interest in the series and was looking for any angle to make a final quick buck off the character and cash out for good. There are many things wrong with this movie but the biggest thing is the lack of the regular score that was a staple of this franchise. Not sure why it was not used.
The title of this film really gets your hopes up. If you are expecting to see Jason kicking ass in New York for 90 minutes you will be very let down.
But it will be more fun to watch it with your best friends in the Birdhole. So put on a sleazy sailor's hat and set sail as we witness Jason Goes Cruising.
Join us this week as we count our crotch critters and watch an overlooked film from 1988 called "The Nest".
Having a nest of anything is usually not good. The small town in this movie has a nest of flesh eating cockroaches that eat everything in their path. Basically an updated version of the giant monster movies of the 1950's but not as fun.
Forget the roach motel, book a room with a heart shaped hot tub in the Birdhole as we go bug chasing while we endure, "The Nest".
Ghoulies are awesome. Even if the movies are not all that great. For some reason they are just enjoyable to look at. Especially when they are coming out of toilets.
Sadly no Ghoulies come out of the toilet in this movie. The only thing that is coming out of the bowl is here in the Birdhole and it is much scarier than a Ghoulie.
So clench your cheeks and say a prayer as we watch Ghoulies 2!
Return of the Living Dead is a milestone in the zombie genre. These zombies were not like the standard Romero type. These were running, talking, brain eating, and indestructible killing machines. They were man made as a military weapon and probably would have been very effective in combat.
But the genre was never the same after this film came out. It was released within a month of Day of the Dead and audiences seemed to like the comedy and horror mix of this more than the depressing tone of Romero's movie. I think that George Romero felt that this film was bad for his series and at the time people had not warmed up to Day of the Dead. It would be 20 years before he would return to the genre he created.
Having said that, this movie is awesome. If you have not seen this, grab some brains and some 245 trioxin and get ready to be entertained. Braaaaaaaiiinnnnsssss!!!!
What the hell did we just watch?
Was that a comedy or horror? It wasn't both. At first thought it was a Full House spin off but once the mutilating started it looked like things might turn around. This was one of the stranger movies we have watched in the Birdhole, and as we all know from Tinder, stranger usually equals danger!
So join us as we self harm ourselves to feel better about watching "The Mutilator".
If you ever wanted to know if you can smoke yourself sober with crack, the answer is no.
These and many other lessons are featured on this very special episode of Birdhands. We are not sure of the origin of "A Nightmare on Drug Street" but it sure has many life lessons that we now want to share with you.
Join us as we get high on an eight ball of eighties!
Jason Voorhees is back! But this time someone is waiting.
The Friday the 13th series was growing quite stale in 1988 and slowly becoming less successful with each entry earning less than the previous installment.
Hollywood always has the answer though, and that would be adding a new character. Someone who can actually fight Jason and give him a challenge. He was bored of killing horny teens and we were bored of watching it. So they put him up against a ripoff of the Carrie White character so she can make things fly at him and land on him. Should be good, right?
You will have to judge for yourselves because we really are not sure about this one. Join us as we hide in our sleeping bags waiting to get whacked. Or maybe we are whacking in our sleeping bags and hiding. Doesn't really matter, this week is Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood!
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How many times will a Birdhands watch the hands of their watches while watching Watcher in the Woods?
Not many. This movie holds up surprisingly well. Time for some PG terror!
Greetings my friends.
Is this the worst movie of all time? We would probably say no, but for the longest time this Ed Wood film had that title. Sure it is poorly made, but it makes up for it's technical boners with heart and mood.
I think you should join us as we put to rest the ugly rumors that have followed this one around for over half a century. We have watched way worse in the Birdhole but that includes our home movies. So buckle up as we watch Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space!
Well I cannot say this was uneventful. In fact this movie has more nightmare fuel in it than I expected. Anytime a full grown man is birthed by a woman, it is bound to stick with you a little.
I kind of expected an alien on the loose scenario with this one but was surprised to say the least.
Was it good? Was it bad? Really hard to say. But it was one of the weirdest movies we have ever watched in the Birdhole. And that is saying something.
So grab something that can be used as a weapon against a clown dwarf, and join us as we give a little extra for XTRO!
Amityville Horror. Why is this not called The Amityville Horror Part 2?
Who knows. But what we do know is that where there is a buck to be made you can bet that Hollywood will be there. Although some fans find this movie to be better than the original, we here at the Birdhole have not yet made up our minds.
But considering during this lockdown of 2020 we are starting to relate to some of the characters in this film, we are ready to be entertained.
So grab your sister and make some popcorn and join us as we go long, on Amityville 2 - The Possession.
Eat your heart out Freddy!
The Friday the 13th can do supernatural too! But they really should not. They would be best off sticking to the basic slasher formula that brought them success in the first place. Because sometimes being different is not the answer.
You can't blame them for trying though.
Well, you can't, but we can and will. So join us as we make Jason Goes to Hell worse than it already is. It won't be easy!
Don Dohler is back again on the Birdhands chopping block.
Don's unique brand of aliens and monotone dialogue are out in full force as we view one of his most loved projects.
Seems like the characters are not really written as well as his other movies but the acting makes up for it in this classic indie horror flick.
Don't wait another minute! Fill a goblet, pet a cat, and join us as we fiend on..... Fiend!
Phantom of the Mall - Eric's Revenge!
Sometimes titles can be misleading. But in this case it's fairly accurate. Eric is indeed haunting this mall for some reason and in the process getting revenge on greedy fat cats.
The poster makes it look like a bit more of a horror movie but other than Eric's revolting face, there is not much in the horror department except for some scary fashion choices.
Even the talents of Pauly Shore and a bunch of genre actors cannot save this one. But maybe you can take an escalator down to the depths of the Birdhole and suffer along with us. If you are into that sort of thing. Because I know we are!
This week on Birdhands we continue with our series of social distancing discussions. Weird to talk about anything now as there are really no movies scheduled to be released anytime soon. Most of the big titles are going to be held up until they can fill a theater with people and popcorn.
It would be amazing if they decided to release them to streaming on demand type services. I would pay to see Ghostbusters 3 and Halloween Kills right about now. I think we all are in need of some non reality as a distraction.
But until then we will discuss everything under the sun and try and keep everyone's mind at ease for a bit. Nobody said it was easy, but we will have a crack at it.
Witchboard has a few good things going for it. Tawny Kitaen is one, and cool Ouija board plot lines is the second.
But really that is it with this one. It is way too long for a movie about a game you can buy at Walmart. If they cut out the more boring stuff it may have been more memorable. It did not even scare the half of Birdhands who is terrified of the powers of the Ouija!
But hey, who cares. It has the 1986 version of Tawny Kitaen and that is a glorious site to behold.
Here we go again on our own, with this weeks crapfest! Plug your nose because this is going to be a stinker.
What makes an awesome opening scene?
Some movies just have that perfect sequence that draws the viewer in and sets the pace for what you are about to see. There are obvious contenders like the James Bond movies, but some are so well crafted that they fit into their own category for various reasons. See if you agree with our picks and let us know what you think should and should not be on there as we discuss the greatest opening scenes in film history!
Rock and Roll High School Forever.
Forever is what it seems like watching this abortion of a movie. I say that as a huge fan of the 1979 original. But even that movie I consider it a fluke that it was enjoyable.
Corey Feldman is hard to root for in this movie as his band "The Eradicators" are just awful. When the adults in the movie crap on his music, you can see where they are coming from.
But join us if you will as we grab some pizza in the Birdhole with Mr. McGloob as we watch, Rock and Roll High School Forever!
Ghostbusters or Back To The Future? The Terminator or The Goonies?
1984 and 1985 are arguably the greatest years for movies of our generation. So many classics and so many favorites that bring us back to our childhoods. But is it just nostalgia? Or personal preference?
On this episode of Birdhands we try to put our personal biases aside and break down the films of 1984 and 1985 and decide which was the better year for movies.
It won't be easy. But we are up to the task. Come join us as we talk about the greatest films of all time which happened to be released within a short time frame. Place your bets as we decide which year was better, 1984 or 1985!
80's horror movies are probably the most beloved films in the eyes of genre fans. Picking the best out of the whole decade would be a chore.
But since we have nothing but time on our hands these days we figure we will try and sort out the best horror movie from each year in the eighties.
We also discover that Freddy Krueger might be based on Micheal Jackson.
Which films will reign supreme and which will stay at the bottom where they belong?
Join us as we figure it all out for you!
We are still in the era of social distancing and and some bad quality Doctor Beats headphones cannot stifle Doctor Birdhands. Even in a pandemic we are here to discuss all things movies. We go from the most disturbing films we have ever seen to the future of entertainment.
Join us in the Birdhole for this weeks open forum - Pot Pourri!
Technical gremlins and the end of the world cannot stop Birdhands from bringing you another classic from the slasher craze of the 1980's. But with two of us and only one sleeping bag, things may get messy.
Aside from a few facetime drop outs we get down in dirty in the drilling department with this weeks movie - The Slumber Party Massacre.
George Romero's film career was on life support in the mid seventies due to a series of flops which were not even admired by critics.
But after teaming up with Richard Rubenstein and hiring a young Tom Savini to handle the special effects work, he got the boost that would enable him to make "Dawn of the Dead".
While not really a horror movie, "Martin" is a very small and bleak story about a young man who believes he is a vampire. His crazy uncle also believes this as well and is ready to destroy him if he gets out of line.
You must see this film at least once. Join us as we keep the dream alive via facetime straight into the Birdhole as we watch The Cosby Mysteries. Wait, no, its George Romero's vampire movie, "Martin".
The Birdhole is on lock down. Being scrubbed and cleaned of our filth. Every stain and leak will be accounted for and archived for future reference.
But join us as we go remote via the world wide web to discuss all things movies. This episode we focus on key moments in film franchises that were poor creative choices that sent the series downhill.
We talk Halloween, Star Wars, Aliens, Friday the 13th, James Cameron, Terminator, and how we are keeping up during this potential end of the world scenario.
Sadly for us not much is different. So wash your bird, and wash your hands, and remain in isolation with Birdhands!
This episode was almost not going to happen due to Corey Feldman hacking us in real time. But the IT crew in the Bird Hole fought back and sent Corey a little gremlin to disrupt his movie screening.
And since we were messing with former child stars who are now kind of creepy, we decided to dust off this classic cyber thriller from 1981 called "Evilspeak".
Its stars Clint Howard. He is kind of the Frank Stallone to Ron Howard. While successful in his own right, his career will always be compared to his older brother who was also a big star.
This is a classic revenge tale that takes place at a strange military school where the jocks are out in full force. It might be one of the first movies to use a computer as a weapon as well.
Join us as we dial up AOL, and log onto Evilspeak!
Halloween Resurrection.
Forever known for killing the original franchise and giving us the Rob Zombie remake. For that alone this movie should be banished for eternity.
It should be noted that we at Birdhands actually saw this and H20 in the theaters when they were released. H20 was a decent little popcorn movie and played well with the audience on opening night. But this movie was not so good. While the premise was kind of unique, the execution was very poor.
And the 17 years have not been kind to it either. Everyone involved with it seems like they are just earning a paycheck.
Is it as bad as we remember? Let's find out.
1985 was an amazing year for movies. Back to the Future, The Goonies, The Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire, and that is a few of the great titles released that year.
So a few are bound to get lost in the shuffle. And they can't all be winners.
This film seems to be fondly remembered by some, and not remembered by others. Also it seems to get confused with the many other science fiction teen comedies at the time.
But hey, don't let my opinion influence you in any way, shape, or form. You can see for yourself and listen to us discover a somewhat overlooked movie from the greatest year of the eighties.
Degrassi! It may be the greatest television show of all time. I might be overdoing it but it is for sure a fan favorite. This week on Birdhands we watch four episodes of the most gripping television around in the 1980's.
Wheels runs away to the paradise known as Port Hope and gets molested by a vacuum salesman. But will his journey be worth it as he hopes to reunite with his birth father and join his rock band playing bass?
And speaking of bad trips, Shane and Luke drop acid at the Gourmet Scum concert and Shane does a header off a bridge. Not good as he was splitting his allowance with Spike for their baby.
Dwayne also lucks out by getting laid on summer vacation. He loses his virginity but finds something else. AIDS! Degrassi should have installed those condom machines a year earlier. All this and much more as Birdhands presents - Degrass-a-thon!
This movie is a masterpiece if judged by the creature effects alone. The Pumpkinhead creation by Stan Winston is easily his best work.
Sadly, he also directed it and not James Cameron. If this outstanding monster was in another movie I think it would be ranked up with Predator and Alien.
Memory lane can sometimes be a car crash. We remembered this one as being much better than it actually is. Is nostalgia alone enough to make this one enjoyable in 2020?
Join us as we carve a jack-o'-lantern out of "Pumpkinhead".
Jason Voorhees is dead. For a bit at least until he is brought back from the grave with a bolt of lightning. So now he is a sort of zombie killing machine. So is the title "Jason Lives" kind of a scam? He is undead and saying that he lives is not totally correct.
But one thing is for sure, he is on a rampage in this fifth sequel in the Friday the 13th franchise. You would think that the series would be getting stale by now but the filmmakers manage to inject some comedy and black humor into the script which was ahead of its time.
So grab a goalie mask and join us as we bury this weeks movie, Friday the 13th Part 6 - Jason Lives!
Bride of Frankenstein is easily one of the greatest sequels ever made. It might even be better than the original. Boris Karloff returns as The Monster and gives his greatest performance ever. Director James Whale also is back and adds comedy into the film which blends in perfectly for the most part.
There is not anything to complain about here. But things are always strange in the Birdhole. Join us as we invent the first viewmaster belt buckle, and feast our eye holes on The Bride of Frankenstein.
Return of the Living Dead was a horror movie franchise that could never seem to find itself an audience after the original.
It went from the classic Dan O'Bannon film in 1985 which was a surprise critical and commercial success, to a series that went right off the rails instantly.
If you need proof of this, then here it is. Any zombie movie with the word "Rave" in the title cannot be good. And I am not hoping for an Oscar winner here, but I was hoping for something that at least respects the original. But this is just an abortion of a film. It is poorly made and acted. The effects are better than expected but cannot save this and make it enjoyable.
But there is one way to enjoy it. Cue up this podcast and watch it with the Birdhands crew. We will keep you company while you drop some ecstasy and smear vapo-rub on your backs as we get down and dirty and...Rave to the Grave!
From Beyond will always be remembered and compared to Re-Animator.
But over the years it has become a classic itself. Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs return but do not give the same energy to their roles as in Re-Animator. Combs really has nothing to work with and his character does not have the same crazy glee that Herbert West did. But we get the addition of Ken Foree as Bubba who is kind of the straight man to all this medical mumbo jumbo.
I wish they kept up the comedic tone of Re-Animator as it would make it a much better watch. But the one thing they did keep the same is the gore and special effects. They are top notch as usual. No shortage of gooey eighties practical effects here.
And if you still aren't sold, Barbara Crampton tries on some leather S and M gear. That alone is a reason to watch.
So cue it up with Birdhands as we broadcast, From Beyond!
Starcrash may be the worst Star Wars rip off I have ever seen. A rush job to capitalize of the success that George Lucas was having the previous year, but without any of the charm.
But wait, before you decide not to watch, it does have David Hasslhoff and a robot named Elle who sounds like Ernest P Warhol. And I guess that is kind of cool.
So join us in a galaxy far, far away, as we blast off into Starcrash!
The early part of the seventies was a busy time for movies based on Ed Gein. The infamous serial killer who Norman Bates was also based on got two movies that were both good but had very different levels of success. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is obviously the more well known of the two but really has little to do with Gein other than the skin face masks and body part furniture.
Deranged is a strange little movie. It features the actor Roberts Blossom who was also the scary shovel guy in Home Alone years later. He is more crazy in this movie by far. But he also plays it for some laughs as well. In fact its a shame that the movie goes kind of downhill in the second half because there is not as much dialogue from him.
If you have never seen this one it is for sure worth at least one viewing. So get ready to cook up something nice to eat as we get.... Deranged.
New Year's Evil.
Do you ever remember a movie you watched years earlier but the memory is way off? Well, that is totally the case with this gem from 1980. I kind of remember it being a bit dull, but had it in my mind as a slasher movie. This is more of a movie of the week type of mystery but at a very low level of quality.
The lead character is a 50 year old woman who I think is supposed to be a popular music video show host where people call in their requests or something. It looks more like a telethon with bad punk bands playing non stop.
This one is a hot mess. In fact it is giving me a bad movie hangover. In the year 2020 my resolution will be to preview the movies we watch a little better. There is a big difference between bad crap and fun crap.
Not everything from the 1980's was good. But join us in the Birdhole as we try and make it to the ball drop in New Year's Evil.
Halloween 2 was released in 1981 to an audience who was raised on clones of the original movie.
The result is kind of mediocre but still stands as one of the better entries in the series. Michael Myers has survived a nasty fall and a few gunshot wounds. Dr Loomis is still hot on his tail and Donald Pleasence is amazing as usual.
Most of the movie takes place in the hospital where Laurie Strode has been taken and it tries to capture the tone of the original while giving gore hungry audiences what they want in the Friday the 13th era.
Join us in the Birdhole hole as we discuss the good and the bad of one of the most unnecessary sequels of all time.... Halloween 2!
George Romero`s Day of the Dead has many things in common with Return of the Jedi. Mainly that it should have been the third entry in a great trilogy of movies but was ruined by another horrible trilogy years later. I know that is really up to personal opinion but I think most sane people feel this way.
But at the time of release this film was largely overlooked and dismissed as a letdown, time heals all wounds and it has become a fan favorite.
The gore effects are the best ever put on film and the acting is top notch for a George Romero movie.
Take a giant elevator down to the Birdhole with us as we jump into the 1985 classic, Day of the Dead.
Night of the Living Dead. The zombie genre would not exist without this low budget masterpiece from 1968. The dead rising and eating people was a new concept back then and all the rules were made here.
While modern audiences may find it slow and not very shocking, at the time of release I would imagine seeing close ups of intestines being eaten might be somewhat groundbreaking.
George Romero launched his 50 year film career with this one and it has a place in horror history forever.
We gather in the Birdhole this week to celebrate over a half century of the zombie movie. Cue it up and watch along with us as we watch the Criterion Collection version of Night of the Living Dead!
The Pit. A fairly unknown movie from 1981. This was original called Teddy after the main characters stuffed animal that tells him to do bad things.
It is a Canadian production but not a classic by any means. In fact, its the pits. Pun intended.
The Alien Factor is Don Dohler's 1978 masterpiece of science fiction.
Well it might not be a masterpiece, but it is a movie. And for that we have to be grateful. We here at the Birdhands headquarters love Don Dohler and his quest to make cinema gold.
And with a budget of $3500 I think he did pretty well. Who else can make a movie on that kind of money?
Cue this gem up as we jump into episode 51 exploring Area 51 and discuss The Alien Factor!
The Birdhands gang survive to their 50th episode and decide to reward this milestone with a classic.
This week we sail away from the usual crap and watch one of the best movies ever made. Steven Spielberg's killer shark masterpiece "Jaws" is one of the first summer blockbusters and set the tone for the movie industry after it terrified audiences in 1975.
Put some sunscreen on. And bring a towel because we are about to get wet, for JAWS!
The Burning.
A somewhat overlooked slasher film from the early 1980's. Well made and has the added bonus of Tom Savini handling the gore effects.
Plus a few future stars that got their start being stalked by Cropsy at a camp filled with very old looking teenagers.
This is really worth the watch so cue it up with your best friend Birdhands!
Zombie 3? Or Zombie 2?
Depends where you live I guess. But for us, this is really Zombie 2. Was it worth the almost ten year wait between the first and second?
No. No is was not. This is basically an endless montage of zombie fights. And to call these zombies is a bit of a stretch. They kind of took every type of zombie and included them here. Super slow Fulci types are seen. Then they are kind of slow Romero types. Then there are talking Return of the Living Dead types, and finally super fast Ninja types. It is so unfocused it can be a chore to watch.
But if you are as strange as we are you will probably want to have a look at this car crash of a movie. Anything with a flying zombie head is worth one viewing!
Trick Or Treat 1986.
A heavy metal horror film with Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne, Skippy, and Large Marge.
This cult horror movie seems to ride the backwards masking scandal of the mid eighties. Teenagers all over the world were listening to heavy metal and playing their albums backwards to hear subliminal messages. Usually telling them to do something bad.
Hollywood took notice and churned out this somewhat enjoyable teen revenge horror flick.
Will we be banging our heads to the music? Or banging our heads off the wall while we watch this one for the first time in decades.
Cue the movie up. Not backwards though, and join Birdhands this Halloween season as we ask...Trick or Treat!
Samurai Cop!
A Samurai who is also a cop. Nothing can go wrong with this one. We can martial arts mayhem and all sorts of great action scenes all portrayed by some of the greatest actors of our time.
Do you like what you see? Then you will love what you hear if you cue it up with Birdhands and join us as we try and stay awake during... Samurai Cop
Joker has been released and is a worldwide sensation.
Joaquin Phoenix gave a performance for the ages and is now open to doing a follow up if the script is decent.
Join us as we debate and review the most controversial film of the year as things get funny with...Joker!
SPOILER WARNING!
Have you ever seen the cover or poster of a movie a million times but have never actually seen the movie?
I have found that is a common thing with horror movies from the home video era of the mid eighties. My eyes gazed upon the box art of the VHS of "Basket Case" so many times I cannot even remember. The art had the classic blood red letters and some kind of green creature with horrifying eyes peeking out of a basket. All I remember about the back of it is that it had the shot of the lead character hanging from a hotel window. Back then the video box art was a common source of spoilers. But hey, once you realized that the box had ruined the movie it was too late. You had already rented it.
I never ended up renting it during the VHS era but did see it on DVD at some point and was not that impressed due to its grainy dark picture quality. But thanks to modern technology we now have a great bluray version of this cult classic.
Sure it may not be everybody's cup of tea, but it is worth viewing at least once. If just for the room trashing scene alone.
But you don't have to be alone while you watch it, cue it up with your old friend Birdhands and lets figure out whats in the basket. SPOILER ALERT: It's a Boglin.
Everybody get ready and get into gear, the Degrassi sensation the one and only, Zit Remedy is here!
Degrassi High finally comes to an end with the beloved Canadian ensemble cast in their first feature film. This was a made for TV movie that was a really big deal in Canadian history. It was the first use of the F word on television in Canada. Plus the story of these high school kids ends on quite a downer for the time it was released.
But don't take our word for it, cue up the full movie and join us as we watch Joey and Caitlin finally get it on and then break up in...School's Out!
What Is The Best Sequel Of All Time?
We discuss what is the great second entry in a film series. The rules are that it can only be a part two of at least two movies. The contenders are from all genres but seem to fall in the horror and science fiction categories.
We try to narrow it down to a top five but it won't be easy. Join us as we discuss our favorite number two. In a movie series that is. We know what you were thinking!
You've been bad!
Holy crap this scared me to death back in the day. In fact, watching it for this weeks episode kind of transported me back to 1987 when I first watched this. Even back then this film was a real unique movie as it was not really like anything else I had seen at the time. The special effects were mind blowing and memorable and unlike some of the movies from this era they still look amazing. And when I say amazing I mean even by today's standards.
Stephen Dorff stars in an early role as a kid who has a huge hole in his backyard that is actually a portal to an unholy dimension. This Canadian classic is a must see for any horror or fantasy fan.
Cue it up as we watch the bluray release of the overlooked 1987 gem, The Gate!
Zombie.
Well its pretty clear what you are going to get when you sit down to watch this one. On top of that the tag line on the poster is "We are going to EAT you". Consider me sold.
Here in Birdhands land we have been trying to tackle all the great Euro-Zombie movies. This has to be considered the one that started the whole craze. While sold as a sequel to Dawn of the Dead, it really has nothing to do with the US zombie classic released the year before. These corpses hang out on islands not shopping centers. But it is a gore fest of the greatest kind and if you have not seen it you are missing out on at least two of the greatest scenes in horror history.
It goes by many titles, Zombie, Zombie 2, and Zombie Flesh Eaters, all due to the confusion of it being a part two of another series, but it is really just its own unique take on the genre and has its own creepy style all together.
Wrap yourself up in a white sheet and join us for our 40th episode spectacular as we get into Lucio Fulci's Zombie!
Scalps. The Movie!
Sometimes in life things are not what they seem. The VHS box of 1983's Scalps is one of those things. I remember my eyes locking onto this box every time I went with my Dad to the video store. He would be browsing for movies and I would be glued to the horror section looking at all the gruesome goodies on the covers. This one had a rotting corpse with a mouse on it and looked mighty horrifying to my young eyes.
In fact, it still is horrifying to me but for all the wrong reasons. Now it is more about watching something so bad and out of focus trying to figure out how these movies were given such wide releases back in the day.
No internet to speak of back then, so the only way to find out was to spend a few bucks to rent it and see for yourself.
And that is exactly what we are doing today in the Birdhole. So won't you get your tomahawk and join us as we slice up...Scalps!
Creepshow 2 is a decent follow up to the classic original. But that is kind of being nice when comparing the two.
Yes I said two. I do not regard the third movie as an actual movie. It did not involve Stephen King or George Romero.
But as far as this one goes there are three stories this time instead of five which I think is really the movies downfall. Only the second story about the raft seems like it is paced properly. The other two drag a little bit. If there were more stories these three would have been shortened in editing and been much more enjoyable. It seems like forever before the wooden Indian comes alive and it leads up to a boring climax.
The Raft is much more fun and gets right to the monster in the lake. Yeah it looks like garbage bags but who cares. When it gets a hold of someone it melts them in spectacular fashion.
The Hitchhiker is okay but is a bit long in length as well. But Lois Chiles does a great job with the role of slowly losing her mind.
If you have not seen this one, we at Birdhands think you should hitchhike to the nearest television set and watch it with us.
Thanks for the ride lady!
Jason Voorhees or Freddy Kruger? Michael Myers or Chucky? John Carpenter or Wes Craven?
On this very special episode of Birdhands we will not be watching a movie. But we will be getting down and dirty trying to figure out what is the best horror movie franchise.
We narrow it down to four contenders. Halloween, Friday the 13th, Child's Play, and A Nightmare on Elm Street.
This is not going to be easy. Several factors will be discussed and rated until we come to a clear winner.
Join us for this great debate while we declare a clear winner for the title of "What Is The Best Horror Franchise".
Halloween 5.
Last time he returned, now he will get his revenge. Actually he gets his ass handed to him by a very aged Dr. Loomis at the end of this one. And over two movies, he has failed to defeat his niece who is ten years old.
To say Michael Myers was getting tired is an understatement. This was the film in the series that in my opinion sent it into a downward spiral that it has never recovered from. The previous installment, released less than a year earlier was a return to form and brought the series back to life after Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, nearly killed it. But all the success of Part 4 was short lived as the producers rushed this into production to cash in on its surprising box office performance.
Michael Myers does some strange things in this movie such as switching his mask while driving around Haddonfield in a sports car. He also gets beat up by Dr Loomis and is arrested. While he waits for his lawyer to show up he is seen sulking in his jail cell with his mask still on. Just some strange decisions made by the characters and by the filmmakers. Its like they really did not care what was on the screen and hired the first person who was willing to direct it.
Lets not forget the most controversial aspect of the entire series, Thorn.
And while the plot is not really explained until Part 6, it all began here. Fans mostly hate this story arc but it has its supporters who still want the series to go in this direction again.
In our humble opinions, we at Birdhands feel that this was the death of the series. But if you want to judge for yourself, pull up a chair with us as we fall asleep during, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers.
Slugs: The Movie!
Whenever something is followed by "The Movie", it usually is not a good sign. I suppose it is a bad marketing ploy to make you think that you are missing out on some kind of major event.
And in this case you are not missing out on much at all. Although there is a book that this film is based on, I don't think it set the literary world on fire. For some reason though I would like to read the book now. Mainly so the acting in my mind would erase the acting in this very dull film. The performances are rather.... sluggish.
Puns aside, there is a decent amount of gore and carnage in it so it is worth a look. And how they managed to get the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra involved with a movie like this is a mystery in itself.
But it really doesn't matter. Because its time for you to get your green thumb ready and join us as we drop some fertilizer on.... Slugs!
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie.
A zombie movie released between Night and Dawn of the Dead. Kind of a blend of Night with a bit more artistic vision. This is truly one of the most beautiful living dead films to look at. The photography and scenery are top notch. The acting is also decent and played totally straight.
Like most European zombie movies the walking dead in this one are really slow when they need to be, but fast and can use weapons when they need to. I wish they would stick to a set of rules like the Romero series. But hey, that really adds to the nightmarish vibe this movie has.
The gore is also great and for a fairly small army of zombies, they do quite a bit of damage across the town.
This is a fantastic movie to watch late at night when everyone is asleep. But don't fear being alone, you will have your best pal Birdhands with you so you don't get too frightened.
Won't you join us in the Birdhole as we do the right thing and.... Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
Humanoids From The Deep!
Now that is a title. Leave it to Roger Corman to make a movie with a title that draws you in like that!
We all know about these kinds of movies where monsters invade a small town and cause some major problems. But in this one we have the extra problem of the creatures going after the attractive women in the area. It almost seems like Roger Corman wanted to combine Alien with Jaws, with a bit of Creature From The Black Lagoon thrown in for good measure. Seems like a winning formula on paper, but is it a winner on the big screen? Only one way to find out.
Get the popcorn popping as we freestyle rap, eat donuts, and welcome back an old friend to the Birdhole as we get deep, on Humanoids From The Deep.
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Yes. The film that started it all and put New Line Cinema on the map. There would be no Lord of the Rings if not for the release of this horror classic. The great writing and directing by Wes Craven and career making performance by Robert Englund as Freddy, made this movie an instant pop culture smash.
Going back and watching it now, it still holds up like the day it came out. Although, it is strange but satisfying to see Freddy as an all out evil character for the only time in the series, one wonders what would have happened if they kept him this way. Perhaps the series would not have been as successful but might have had better sequels other than Part 3.
After Dream Warriors it was all downhill and overexposure.
But for a brief moment in the middle of the eighties this gloved sensation knocked Jason and Michael off of the top of the movie killer mountain, and was a success beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Pun intended.
So lets all gather in the Birdhole and break out the donuts and coffee so we don't fall asleep during this weeks movie... A Nightmare On Elm Street
Suburban Sasquatch.
The title alone makes me think of a Bigfoot running amok in Walmart. That would be awesome. But there are different types of awesome when it comes to movies. Not sure what to make of this one. You have to give the makers credit for getting out and making this full length film on a budget of about the price of a laptop, but it is not going to win any awards any time soon.
Although it has some great moments, and some big unintentional laughs, this one seemed like it was never going to end.
Thankfully it did, and now we challenge all you fine folks listening to try and make it through this one with us in the Birdhole, as we try and stay awake watching... Suburban Sasquatch!
Demons 2.
Sadly the nightmare isn't over. It probably should have been though as it was an excellent one and done horror classic that most fans remember fondly.
But the almighty dollar rules the roost and the makers of the original have basically remade the original one year later. Even a number of the cast members are back in roles like the original. It has a few decent moments but is really just a shameless cash grab and that is really too bad. It would have been great to see a direct sequel to the first one that followed the characters as they searched for a safe spot in the world.
But its still worth a watch and who better to watch with than the Birdhands gang as we celebrate our 30th episode and have some cake, with Demons 2.
This is the film where we all learned how to scratch our balls.
We are still using this advice in the Birdhole to this day. Thank you eighties!
This gender bender teen flick from 1985 is great nostalgia for anyone who remembers how lighthearted it actually was. We thought revisiting it would make us remember how offensive it was but it was pretty tame. Even the boob reveal was handled well.
But don't you worry, if you want to be offended we got you covered. Cue up the movie, stuff a sock in your pants and get ready to learn to scratch your balls Birdhands style as we become....... "Just One Of The Guys".
With all the talk about the 2019 Reboot of Child's Play, we thought it was a great time to go back and check out the one that started it all.
1988's killer doll epic was a surprise hit that spawned a franchise that is still going today. Surprisingly it was originally going to be a psychological thriller where the killer doll was not really alive. It was written as a scapegoat for Andy's dark side for which he could blame his evil deeds on. And while that is an interesting idea we never would have gotten to see the iconic character of Chucky onscreen.
Brad Dourif does an amazing job bringing this character to life along with some top notch special effects by Kevin Yagher.
Well, there is only one way to find out if this one still holds up today. Grab your Good Guy doll and make some popcorn and join us in the Birdhole as we make watching movies easy. In fact, it's Child's Play!
Chocolate Chip Charlie.
This name haunted many children of the 1980's including me. When discussing this movie with anyone it will be the first thing that comes up. It is on par with the basketball kill from Deadly Friend.
But is there more to this film than the crazy mouth scenes? Does it still disturb us years later?
Everyone needs to eat shaving cream at least once in their lifetime. And everyone should also cue up this 1985 horror comedy classic with us as we take a huge load of... The Stuff.
In 1985 there was no shortage of great horror movies. Just about every week a new classic film would be released. This weeks episode looks at a film that we feel is somewhat under the radar. Even though it is a fan favorite, not having an ongoing franchise may have put this one a bit below some of its peers.
But hey, we think its pretty cool and you probably do as well. So strap one on as we get deep into Tom Holland's classic modern vampire flick, Fright Night!
1985 was a massive year for the undead. Day of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, and the horror comedy classic, Re-Animator.
As I write this and look at those three titles, I wonder if Day of the Dead was the most overlooked at the time because it was the only one without any comedy elements in it. Who knows. But what I do know is that this film was well received right from its release. Also it was one of the first times I had seen a VHS tape, in this case on Vestron Video, that came in an unrated version. Although most video stores seemed to only have the R rated version. Still pretty cool though in 1985.
Jeffrey Combs is so great as Herbert West I think he was typecast after this movie. But he is very intense and takes the role very seriously and plays it straight. The comedic bits he does in the movie are not out of place at all and do not make his character any less believable. Every line he says seems like something Herbert West would say and fits perfectly.
If you have not seen this movie, you are missing out. You must join us now in the Bird Hole and make sure you are watching the unrated version of the only film you can see Barbara Crampton get head by a severed head...... Re-Animator.
Thrashin' is the 1986 skateboarding movie that made us all go beg our parents to buy us a board.
A few injuries later and we all realized we were not Tony Hawk. Or even a potential member of the Daggers. Which is the totally radical gang in this epic. They skateboard and drink generic beer while causing all kinds of problems around town. If you mess with them, you will end up in a weird jousting showdown where you could be killed via skateboarding or shamed to death by not being cool.
Either way this film is actually not that bad and a change from all the horror we usually watch. Plus it has Josh Brolin, Robert Rusler, and a very fine Sherilyn Fenn. You should be searching for this movie just for that reason.
So join us as things get totally tubular in the Bird Hole as we go.....Thrashin!
This weeks movie will not let you down.
If you have a quick glance at the poster or the VHS box and like what you see, then this 1983 low budget horror masterpiece is for you.
Shot for $20000 on 16mm and blown up for theatrical showings, "The Deadly Spawn" is exactly what you would expect. The monster has a great design and is very unique. You can spot the design influences from another film with the word "ALIEN" in the title but it has a different take on it.
Everyone should see this movie once. It has a lot of heart and sometimes that is all you need to make something that will entertain an audience.
Won't you join us in watching a great DIY classic that still holds up today.
It's time to take a big bite out of.... The Deadly Spawn.
Angela is back and still ready to party.
But this time it is a few years after the original and she is now a ghost. Or a demon I guess. It really doesn't matter anyway because this is really just a rehash of the original movie with more special effects provided by Steve Johnson. They are spectacular as expected.
This time the setting is at a catholic school as well as Hull House. The story is the same but the acting is way better in this one. Everyone in this movie seems to take their roles seriously and they do a great job with the material. It is rare to see actors give their all when usually they are not very pleased to be cast in a horror film.
The production is also surprisingly good. I wish this and the original were given a decent release in theaters as they are just as fun as anything from the era and deserved better. But they seemed to get lost in the shuffle and had to be discovered on home video.
But that is just fine with us as that's how we roll. This is the bluray version and is crystal clear.
So won't you join us as we feast our eye holes on an underrated sequel known as Night of the Demons 2.
The Angry Video Game Nerd said it best, "not everything your idol does is gold".
That is an understatement.
I am not sure if this movie was really needed. It goes back to the start of the zombie outbreak, and to me cannot really be considered a part of the first four films. It is more like a reboot. A very poor attempt to connect with the internet generation. It is also the first time in the series where the characters are not adults. They are either high school or college students. I am not really sure. But they are not really frightened of the zombie outbreak but are concerned with filming it, while making silly remarks in response to the danger.
The found footage gimmick does not really work as the footage is not found. It is filmed with the purpose of releasing it to the public. Which does not make sense as it is a global outbreak so people would be well aware of what was happening. I am sure that if the dead rise from their graves we will not be taking time out to watch a student film with narration to figure everything out. When the evening news lady gets eaten by a corpse on television, I think most people would go into panic mode and probably give social media a rest.
We had high hopes for this one as the concept was promising, but it just fell flat. Romero's obsession with the internet continued in Survival of the Dead where people were still online and posting youtube videos well after the world had collapsed. Not sure how it remained online but hey, it's only a movie.
Won't you join us in the Bird Hole as we discuss this gem and other pressing topics?
Third times a charm!
Well lets hope so in the case of this much beloved Twilight Zone Episode. Here it is remade for a third time and for the digital age viewer in mind. It will be hard to live up to the original or even the movie version but lets give it a go!
Join us 30 feet underground in the Bird Hole as we enter the Twilight Zone for, "Nightmare at 30,000 Feet".
Have you ever wondered what happened to the other people that were behind the creation of Night of the Living Dead?
We all know what became of George Romero. He directed the original and the follow ups and had a very successful career in the film industry. The co-writer John Russo ended up with the rights to write and make films with the title of "Return of the Living Dead" while George was able to use the title with the phrase "Of The Dead". Russo sold his script and rights to producer Tom Fox who trashed the entire thing and just retained the title. It was a success and spawned four sequels. Romero continued with his series up until his death.
But what became of the man who played the original zombie in Night of the Living Dead?
Well he played that zombie again, in 1988's film disaster....Flesh Eater.
Bill Hinzman also wrote and directed this mess of a movie. The effects are decent except for the actual face make up of the zombies. The gore effects are fairly good for the budget and are still fun to look at. The acting falls somewhere between middle school drama class and porn. The story and pacing are very puzzling to put it kindly.
That being said, the film is so bad its great. If you like gore and bad acting then you are in luck.
Catch a hayride with us as we try and make it through this awful Night of the Living Dead clone.
Cue it up and join Birdhands as we take a bite out of....Flesh Eater
God is in his Holy Temple.
Yes we know. A chill just ran up your spine because you were reminded of the evil Reverend Kane from Poltergeist 2: The Other Side. This character gave people around the world nightmares for life and when we look back at the film all these years later, it is still horrifying.
Well Kane is at least. The rest not so much. Studio interference was a big factor with the final cut of this movie which was originally 130 minutes and they chopped it down to 90 for some reason. Too bad that the missing scenes are probably lost forever. We can only hope that it is one day found.
While having a tough act to follow, this one still holds its own. As much as I love the Kane character, I wish they kept the original explanation for the haunting instead of having it now shifted to one person. Not really sure how they built a house on top of a graveyard that was also on top of another graveyard. Shady contractors I guess?
Grab some Tequila, put on some war paint, and cue up the movie to watch along in real time with us as we swallow the worm that is... Poltergeist 2: The Other Side.
Have you ever revisited something that you have not seen for at least 20 years or so and it did not live up to the memory you had of it?
Well, that is the experience we have this week while watching the 1988 horror comedy, "Killer Klowns from Outer Space".
This film was quite ahead of the clown craze we are going through right now but in this case they are played mostly for laughs instead of scares. Which is a shame because they are probably the most terrifying designs you will ever see.
The film itself is a bit weak even though I know it is well liked in the horror community. Perhaps it is because the movie is self aware and it seems pretty well everything is self aware now.
But it still is a treat to see the clown designs onscreen after all these years. The vision is still there though and its worth a watch.
The Galaxy Invader.
Hard to believe this one was released in 1985. Although a great effort and obviously Don Dohler is never short on passion when making a movie, this film has one of the worst looking rubber monster suits even by 1950's standards.
What it lacks in effects and story it makes up in heart. All the Don Dohler regulars are in this one and are on their game. Even the final product of his films are sometimes the subject of ridicule, you can't say the guy did not have the guts to get out there and make a movie.
Join us as we grab our glowing space orbs and shirts with giant holes in them, as we dive in deep with....The Galaxy Invader!
The mid 80's were the greatest time for not only movies, but also robots. They were the future. The way the were portrayed on film was either friendly machines that would help you do things around the house, or rampaging killing machines. This weeks episode contains the latter.
Although anything with Barbara Crampton in it is fine with us, this movie has some serious problems. The special effects are not so special, and it seems like the robot design was really not thought out at all. They can shoot lasers at you but seem to enjoy pinching more than anything.
But it is still worth a watch and has all the stereotypes of this era that you can think of.
So join us as we debut a new and expensive method of choosing what we watch in the Birdcave and maybe break out into a random karaoke challenge while we loiter in the food court of...Chopping Mall!
- A full 30 years after the release of the original film, the world was due for it's favorite gooey creature to get a makeover. This remake of "The Blob" does not fall short in the visual effects department or the overall quality of the film in general.
It is played straight and serious and the creature gives us some of the most memorable kill scenes in film history. The sink scene in this is worth the price of admission alone. But we get much more than that and as with John Carpenters remake of "The Thing", this film is mostly remembered for the visuals rather than the acting or directing. Which is a shame as everything in this film is done top notch.
Join us as we wind back the years and give this gem a second look.
George Romero is back to the genre he invented. Hot of the success Universal had with the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, seems like they were willing to give the master himself a big budget to make his forth installment.
We saw this one opening night in the theater and were underwhelmed but maybe time will change our opinion on this zombie epic.
Join us in counting the nicknames, listening to Big Daddy howl, and giving a second look at Land of the Dead.
Birdhands is having a party. Jason and Freddy are too scared to come. But are you?
1989 was a golden year for cinema. And look no further than this overlooked gem that has it all. The winning formula of Boobs, Blood, and Beasts is in full effect and we are loving every minute of it during this weeks episode that features "Night of the Demons".
A film maybe more famous for its one scene involving a tube of lipstick than its actual story, it still has that old school charm and 30 year old teenagers.
Cue this bad boy up and watch along with us as we tackle a forgotten classic, "Night of the Demons'.
Wes Craven.
The genius behind "A Nightmare on Elm Street" tries his hand at a sci-fi horror blend with a romance between robots and humans. Paul is a gifted young teenager who is in college for brain science and robot building. Or something to that effect. When his beloved robot BB gets shot by the lady from "The Goonies", he is clearly heartbroken.
But lucky for him the girl he has a crush on across the street gets beaten to death by her father the day after he gets to revive both inside of Kristy Swanson. Seems like a good idea. The only problem is BB was a bit of a violent robot and all hell breaks loose around town.
Apparently this film was ordered to have massive re-shoots to add gore and horror after a test screening went terrible. Not sure what it would have been like without them but it did give us the most unique head explosion with a basketball scene ever put on film.
And for that we can all be thankful. Join us in the Birdhands cave as we witness, Wes Craven's Deadly Friend.
Stephen King and Ah-nold. You can't go wrong can you? Two titans of the 1980's film industry unite and we can expect nothing but gold. Right?
Well all we really got were gold spandex, but maybe that is good enough for us.
1987's sci-fi classic "The Running Man" is still very memorable after 30 years but mainly for the many things it has in common with the political climate today. But forget all that lets just watch the film and enjoy it for what it is.
Buckle into your tunnel pod and cue up possibly the greatest film ever made about a game show.
Join Birdhands as we have an in depth look at, "The Running Man".
In 1984, Paramount Pictures decided they were done making sequels to one of their most popular franchises and decided to kill Jason Voorhees off for good. Seems strange that you would want to do this to one of your most profitable series but that is what they were going with.The previous year Jason topped the box office in 3-D and had just found his now iconic hockey mask so it really is a puzzling decision.
We have to give them credit though, they went all out and brought back Tom Savini to handle the special effects, and even had some decent actors like Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman. In what most fans believe to be the best installment in the series, they really were trying to go out with a bang and let audiences know that this was the end for everyone's favorite goalie.
What will BIRDHANDS make of this gem? Can Jason still shock us 30 years later? Is Crispin Glover's dance still amazing? Is Corey Feldman as scary as he is present day? Should Paramount think about renaming this film since there are 7 more chapters?
Put on your headphones and a hockey mask and join us as we view:
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.
Halloween. The franchise that will not die. It is now forty years after the original low budget horror classic took the world by storm and there is no end in sight. The newest installment just topped the box office and made over 250 million dollars worldwide. Michael Myers is as popular as ever and the biggest horror draw around.
But it is hard to believe that after "Halloween 2" was released in 1981 and Michael and Dr Loomis were blown to bits in an explosion, the studios decided to continue the series without the characters and released "Halloween 3: Season of the Witch". We all know how that turned out, audiences were let down and angry that they were tricked into seeing a movie about an evil mask company and it was a box office flop. The series seemed like it was over.
However, in 1988 fans around the globe were thrilled to learn not only was a new film being released, it would feature both Michael Myers and Dr Loomis who somehow survived the explosion.
This week on BIRDHANDS we go 30 years into the past when the series was undergoing its first of many comeback efforts. Please join us as we sit down and watch, "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers".
I'd buy that for a dollar.
Well it is 2019 and there is not much you can buy for a dollar. But you can enjoy the new year by watching a classic science fiction film with your new best friends, Birdhands.
Robocop is a 1987 masterpiece that is as close to a perfect movie as you can get. The special effects are still convincing today and the acting is top notch. Peter Weller shows what can be done inside a suit without the help of CGI. Relying on body movement and method acting to make the audience believe they are seeing an actual cyborg. It is astonishing how well this still holds up today. Go get it, cue it up, and enjoy it because they just don't make them like this anymore.
Make sure you are watching the UNRATED version or we will be out of sync.
Thrill me!
Its Christmas and what better way to spend it than with a couple of creeps. By which I mean Birdhands. But if that doesn't satisfy you then there are a whole pile of them in this weeks episode, the 1986 horror gem, "Night of the Creeps".
In fact this movie has everything, ax murderers, space aliens, zombies, and slugs. Add in some detective drama and a bit of jocks vs nerd plot and you have a recipe for cinematic gold. Or do you?
Sit back, pour yourself a glass of egg nog, and fire up the television set with us as we feast our eye holes on... Night of the Creeps!
The living dead have taken over the earth, and the Irish have taken over Delaware!
Survival of the Dead is the final film in George Romero's series created in 1968 with the release of the original "Night of the Living Dead" which gave birth to the entire zombie genre as we know it today. It was followed by two sequels that were just as groundbreaking and memorable. Romero took a break from zombies during the 1990's and returned with a new trilogy in the 2000's.
A six film series with many parallels to the Star Wars franchise, both having an excellent first trilogy, and then a second trilogy released years later when the creators best years are clearly behind them. But will George Romero turn back time and reclaim his status as the creator of the zombie genre? Or will it be more like when your Grandfather is encouraged to dance at a wedding, and then embarrasses himself and gets severely injured.
There is only one way to find out. Get your zombie apocalypse gear ready, butter the popcorn, cue up the movie, and join us as we try to survive..... Survival of the Dead!
This week on BIRDHANDS, we watch a movie about people watching a movie. We think you should watch it as well. If you are into zombie films, gore, violence, bad dubbing, and plot twists that will leave you speechless, then this is for you. Made in Italy in 1985 but being discovered in North America via home video a year later, this holds a place in many eighties fan's hearts. So cue up the movie and turn down the lights, and brace yourself as we tackle... DEMONS.
This week on BIRDHANDS, we get deep into a no budget gem from 1982 featuring an alien monster who according to the poster can rip flesh right from the bone! Although he seems to prefer a laser gun to do most of his killing. Made on a $14,000 production budget it could have been much worse. But what it lacks in professionalism, it makes up for in spirit. Join us and watch along with BIRDHANDS as we try to survive...NIGHTBEAST
Watch along with the version online that does NOT have the Troma logo or intro. The proper version to use is 81 minutes.
Sleepaway Camp. A classic? Not really, but one hell of a cult film that really stands out from all the early 1980's slasher at a camp movies. Creative kills and some great make up effects, not including that infamous glued on mustache, make this a must watch for any movie buff. The ending alone is worth the price of admission. Guaranteed.
Get this gem cued up and watch along with Birdhands!
In the debut episode of Birdhands, we sit down to watch a movie widely known as "the gayest horror film of all time" and see if it lives up to that honor. A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 has everything and then some, S&M high school teachers, exploding birds, and the first male scream queen!
Watch along with us as we dissect the black sheep of the Elm St series!
Welcome to Birdhands!
An introspective reflective perspective watch-along of the movies that shaped us from the 70's, 80's, 90's and beyond...
The best and worst of horror, sci-fi, flops and schlock - with talk.