V'Ger Please!: Recent Episodes
Joseph and Peter
Join two sarcastic Trek nerds on an episode-by-episode journey through the unloved children of the Star Trek universe.
When Sisko rolls back into Deep Sheetz Nine with Starfleet's castoff superweapon, things get very interesting as we begin our discussion of Season 3 and "The Search Pt. 1" We spend an hour on just the part before they leave for the Gamma Quad! There is so much to go over! Enjoy us being indulgent.
One of the most surprising moments of 2024 was the release of OTOY's sanctioned (but still forced into semi-secrecy) Star Trek short "765874 Unification". A touching tribute to it's founding fathers as well as Trek itself, it was a incredible reminder of what is still possible with the franchise. Enjoy our review!
We finally arrive on our TOS movie journey at it's most legendarily bad station - Star Trek V: The Final Frontier! The Gang Visits The Borderlands Universe as they meet Spock's brother, have terrible discount special effects, and Kirk fights God and kills cat ladies! Enjoy this mess along with us!
Your hosts have finally reached the end of DS9's excellent second season, and we have so much to talk about! Will Peter recognize the judgement of the cha'DIch? What were the best episodes of the season? What were the worst? All that and so much more!
A wacky camping adventure turns into a series defining nightmare as we review the close of DS9's second season with "The Jem'Hadar"! The goofy odd couple antics of Sisko and Quark is interrupted when the Actual Plot rolls in. The Gamma Quad Murder Hobos make quite a statement to draw the USS Odyssey, and then things definitely get much worse.
Chief O'Brien has a little more suffering to do before we wrap Season 2 as we review "Tribunal"! When Miles and Keiko go on vacation and try to fool around in the company car, buzzkill Gul Evek shows up and reroutes the vacation into the worlds most nightmarish legal drama. Can Odo use his Saul Gackman powers to buy the Starfleet gang the time they need?
Seal the doors and prep the white smoke because the Conclave is here as we review "The Collaborator"! Bajor's shadiest cleric wants to steal the Space Pope Hat away for herself, but can Cardinal McDreamy pull himself away from Kira and the Orb of Sexytime long enough to stop her?
It turns out Peter saw the future pretty clearly when he guessed how the Mirror Universe would go when we review "Crossover"! We step into Eeeeevil DS9 as Mirror Kira vamps it up, Garak is a subtly free goon, and Mirror Odo is packed full of explodium! Strap in folks it's a wild ride!
Our favorite tailor that talks in italics gives us his bloody/tragic backstories as we tackle "The Wire". We get two scoops of great acting as Bashir attempts to save his enigmatic friend from the drug addiction of Happy Brain Juice. Garak is unsure he wants to be saved, but one thing is for sure - we want more Enabran Tain.
Nothing quite like the local highly charismatic genocidal bad guy to be your zany road trip partner as we review "The Maquis Pt 2". While Cal Hudson still sucks, everything else about this episode is rad. We got fights against Space Toyota Technicals, plenty of sinister dialogue, and we even get to see Quark win an argument with The World's Hottest Vulcan.
At last, your faithful podcaster reach the origin point for the most underbaked, poorly explained antagonistic force in all of Berman-era Trek as we review "The Maquis, Pt1"! When a bad actor shows up to play Sisko's totally-not-a-terrorist best friend, we get a fantastic buddy cop road trip with Dukat, some seriously dickish Cardassians, and your hosts lamenting for 20 minutes about how much better it all could have been with minimal effort.
It's quite a day on the station when all of Dax's drinking-and-violence buddies show up in "Blood Oath"! All of Kirk's all adversaries are here to go kill the Worst Guy Ever, Jadzia has some very awkward conversations with the local terrorist to get a feel for how murder wears on you. You know this one is good, so watch it and listen after!
We are somehow on yet another episode about Quark getting laid as we review "Profit and Loss"! Garak and our favorite bartender are two great tastes that taste great together as we have an episode of romance, intrigue, and an complete lack of coherent storytelling in the final act...but hey, who cares when the rest is this good!
The third time is a charm on the Dax backstory episode as we review the shockingly good "Playing God". When some guy with limited personality shows up to learn the secrets of having a slug in the gut, we get some wacky science nonsense, O'Brien and Kira trying to indulge their murder lust, and just enough time to talk over Bajor having some suspect laws on the books.
Sometimes it's a boring day in the Trek office as we review "Shadowplay"! Nothing but a lot of old man actors not pronouncing words right in the A plot, but hey - at least we find out Quark isn't above nefariously getting Kira laid so as to commit crimes!
Somehow, Commander Sisko winds up in an accidental episode of Roots as we watch "Paradise"! In between all the torture and forced field labor, can Ben and Miles find a way to deprogram a cult? Meanwhile, we find out Dax is very casual about runabout safety standards.
We get a double dose of Irish Suffering as we review "Whispers"! Miles is doing some dramatic monologues as he tries to unravel a conspiracy, but can anything really compare to Keiko hitting the runner-runner on Sisko having to tell her bad news about her husband?
We get a bit too much TNG in our DS9 as we tackle the very odd "Armageddon Game". When Miles and Julian go on an under explained work trip, some local Christmas Elves decide to murder everyone. Why is this happening? Who knows, but at least we know Julian loves feet.
Despite all his rage, Odo is just some goo in a cage as we review "The Alternate. When Odo's step-dad pops in to annoy his son, a monster hunt ensues, O'Brien gets sent into Viet Cong tunnels, and this ensemble show casually demonstrates its power.
Our heroes have to wade through some real underbaked nonsense as we try to make some sense of "Rivals"! When a local space con man finds a handy device that breaks laws of probability, wacky events ensue! Seriously, the best part of this involves Julian and Miles playing racquetball.
We have a true V'Ger Please special as we interview Matt, the mind behind the YouTube channel 'Feral Historian'! We dig deep on our Star Trek takes, his approach to making such layered video essays, and if there was any way to have ever made Enterprise watchable.
PLEASE subscribe to Matt's channel! https://www.youtube.com/@feralhistorian
Nothing quite like like a good dose of Voyager style goo hair and untreated skin rashes to make a bad episode worse as we review "Sanctuary". Get ready to hear a very obvious message over and over for the world's least sympathetic victims of the week. Even Kira and Quark can't save this one.
The most eligible widower on the Space Flying J meets the most fetching space elf of all time as we review "Second Sight". When the world's most charming douchebag shows up to Genesis device a star, Sisko falls in love with his wife. Kind of? Really just watch this one for the Ben/Jake scenes.
It's a dark and stormy night on Azeroth (literally) as we review "Necessary Evil". Odo puts on his sharp suit and fedora as he works to crack the case of an old murder. We got femme fatales, kablamo guns, conspiracies, Dukat, stabbed security guards, dramatic narrations...what else could you want?
Nothing like a story of tragic romance featuring a character named Pel to excite your hosts as they review "Rules of Acquisition"! When Zek shows up to bribe Kira and send Quark on a wine buying mission, we Twelfth Night the heck out of the Gamma Quad. Can Dax help Quark find love?
Nothing like a mid-season script hackjob to bring your hosts down as we review the difficult "Melora". A deeply irritating woman comes to DS9, Julian is attracted to her for no particular reason, we get clumsy disability allegory, but at least Odo gets to watch Quark suffer!
When a humble tailor can't keep his hands to himself, we are gifted the opportunity to review "Cardassians"! After Garak gets bit, the galaxy's most complex custody battle takes place. O'Brian gets to be extremely racist, Dukat gets to chew scenery, and Bashir might want to think about locking his door.
Our man Death Row Sisko starts throwing ALL the hands as we enjoy "Invasive Procedures". When nebbish John Glover Trill shows up to claim the Dax symbiote, the most wild throwdown ever seen in Trek pops off. Did Tim Russ get hit so hard it made Tuvok bad at security? You decide!
The air is thick with plot resolutions as we wrap up the Bajoran Coup arc with "The Siege"! While Space Nixon tries to seal the deal, Sisko and company engage in annoying antics, Kira and Dax bond while nearly dying, and we stand in wonder of delightful creative arrogance of it all.
The Space Nixon action is only heating up as we review "The Circle". We are only two episodes in and it's like we are reading a book with this level of plot density. Bajoran coups! Single shot comedy scenes! Very sexy orbs! Jump in for a wild ride.
The Deep Space Nine Quality Train hits us hard right out of the gate, as we review the Season 2 premiere - "The Homecoming". When Space Nixon show us talking about to Make Azeroth Great Again, you can count on Kira to rescue a famous Bajoran leader with the help of a loveable Irish pimp. All this before Sisko has even finished his coffee!
We wrap up our look at the "Genesis Trilogy" as we review the classic "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home"! Joseph defends this light comedy classic, while Peter insists that it's just bad, dated, nonsense slop. Who is right? Listen and find out!
The amazing, fantastic Wrath of Khan is followed up by...a kinda cheap, sloppy retcon? Sadly that is the case as we review "ST III: The Search for Spock" ! While the crew pulls off the prototype 'Starfleet has no security' heist, Doc Klingon Brown and his lads show up for some Cold War allegory.
Your podcast heroes treat themselves to the very finest vintage in the Trek cannon in one of our Patreon reviews - "The Wrath of Khan"! We absorb Trek asserting itself as a genuine dramatic world, the Horatio Hornblower in space vibe, and how this made everything else Trek even possible.
As demanded by principal, practice, and pattern, welcome to the Season One RIP for Deep Space Nine? Join our LIVE takedown of the season-that-was! What was the best episode? Was Move Along Home really the worst? Come find out!
We wrap up DS9's first season as we review the finale, "In The Hands of the Prophets"! Religious conflict, educational policy, and politics large and small all factor in as Deep Space Nine finally figures out what it is going to be about - just as the true big bad of the series shows up.
LINK TO JUNE'S GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/3b01b681https://gofund.me/3b01b681https://gofund.me/3b01b681https://gofund.me/3b01b681
We set (most) of the comedy aside as we go deep on one of Trek's strongest dramatic entries as we review "Duet"! When Kira encounters a man who may be the Bajoran equivalent of Rudolph Hess, she is faced with the kind of complex moral questions that transcends Trek as a medium. Come on the journey with us!
What fresh brain jacking hell will be birthed from the highway of death this time as we watch "Dramatis Personae"? Well we lose our minds a bit as we consider the sheer madness of the Gamma Quad and lament another bad plot, but at least Peter gets to ruminate on the Naughty Kira possibilities.
The mother-in-law all of us fear but none of us deserve drops in to the local DOOM level in "The Forsaken". Between the half baked A and C plots, you know an episode is bad when the Lwaxana Troi is the best part. Is the Odo backstory worth the price of admission? Come find out!
I know what you are thinking. You see the title, and you look down on us. But you shouldn't, because we reviewed "If Wishes Were Horses"! Witness as just too many insane things happen to even bother trying to preview, from esoteric baseball continuity, to...emus?
We get a delightful A plot/B plot sandwich as we review "Progress"! When Bajor ends up doing some Horace Greedly level planetary strip mining, Kira has to face off against her most vicious for to date - an extremely charming old man. Meanwhile Jake shows Nog the art of the hustle and the value of property rights.
Nothing like heading down to Bajor and grabbing a few World Quests as we review "The Storyteller"! The Chief and Julian begin the Bromance of the Ages while tanking a raid boss and avoiding stabbing from space truckers. Also Jake and Nog like girls! Come give it a listen.
When the local Bajoran quest giver decides to make a quick stop at the local DOOM level, absolutely nothing bad will happen as we review "Battle Lines". Sisko decides to take Kai Opaka out for a joyride, but things take a grim turn when they crash on planet Breaking Bad. I'm sure none of this will have consequences at all!
Star Trek commits its worst possible sin - being boring - as we review "Vortex". While we are happy to see an old guest star friend, it won't be long before we are talking about what is in our junk drawers. One thing though....is the Federation ever going to pass a law on menacing or are threats just a love language?
Another one of the part time hitters shows up into the DS9 roster as we review "The Nagus". When Wallace Shaw rolls in with his perfectly drippy makeup, Quark gets plaid for a stooge, Rom tries to murder someone and no one does anything, and Jake shows in Star Trek even teenage rebellion is wholesome.
The bottom comes for us quickly as we review DS9's most ill-regarded entry, "Move Along Home"! When the finest white trash of the Gamma Quad roll in with their TNG S1 outfits and mullets, we find ourselves agreeing with Ron Moore ... did everyone lose their minds when they made this?
It's side missions all around for podcasters and flagship bridge officers as we review "Birthright, Part 1"! Staying true to our word to review every episode that takes place on DS9, the crew of The Mighty D pulls in to clear out the quest log. Will Data learn to dream? How many felonies will Worf commit on the station in front of witnesses? Listen and find out!
Nothing like a Turbo Evil Space. Dr. Mengele to spice up life on the frontier as we review "The Passenger". When the new Extremely Bad Guy does a little brain melding via choke, it's a grand time of overacting, poorly hidden identities, sudden executions, and ...brain surgery via transporter?
Nothing like a touch of that courtroom drama action to get to know all your new characters as we review "Dax"! There is a a cavalcade of veteran Trek guest actors as we get all the detail you may (or may not) have wanted about Dax's boinking both past and present, Detective Odo makes his firm debut, and the plot ends in the strangest way possible.
The galactic tourist you never want to see drops in as we review "Q Less"! When Enterprise-D's best known homewrecker Vash is found in the Gamma Quad, some fun capitalism breaks out at Quark's, the big glowy thing is the problem, and Q is just there to make fun of the Starfleet JV squad.
The true Hero of the Working Man makes a friend as we review "Captive Pursuit"! In a future where every copy of "The Most Dangerous Game" was destroyed, Chief O'Brien and his new Gamma Quad drinking buddy engage in a bit of light murder, but are the real criminals the costume department?
Comedy! Review! Star Trek! Sometimes we also say random words with no connection as we take a look at "Babel"! The Chief gets a case of the weird talkies, Quark gets out his junk drawer of security hacks, and eventually the answer gets volun-told only the way Kira could.
When Odo runs into his least favorite war profiteering jabroni, his sudden case of getting murdered turns up a while meadow of whoopsie daisies in "A Man Alone." Not only does a very evil bit actor gins up a lynch mob, and somehow this overshadows Bashir straight up accidentally cloning a guy!
Nothing like the introduction to Trek's best 'humble tailor' to spice up our review of DS9's second episode, "Past Prologue". As local medical doofus Bashir gets hand held through his first bit of tradecraft, the best four best parts of the Klingon Empire show up and Kira learns that its never a good idea to try and outflank your boss.
At last, your favorite Star Trek podcast arrives at the shady port of call you have all been waiting for as V'Ger Please enters the Deep Space Nine era! Come along with us as we review "Emissary" where Commander Sisko has the worst employee orientation ever, magic orbs are immediately handed out, and the most consequential space hole of all time comes into being.
Your hosts get ready to complete their PhD in Trek by going back to the classic texts in our official Deep Space Nine prep episode! Joseph and Peter review several key TNG episodes - "The Wounded", "Ensign Ro", "Chain of Command", and "Preemptive Strike" - to refresh themselves on key continuity and characters, and get more than a little lost reminding themselves how great Trek was at it's peak.
Sometimes, the universe sees fit to make something for a VERY specific group of people, and that day came when we watched the Lower Decks episode "Twovix"! Your hosts demand peak performance as they rate every single Voyager joke and reference for quality and accuracy, reflect on Lower Decks as a whole, and wonder if maybe - just maybe - someone somewhere heard our Barkeep Michael jokes and decided to run with it.
From our Patreon vault comes a review of one of the most underappreciated sci-fi/horror films ever made and personal favorite of both your hosts - 1997's "Event Horizon"! With Joseph and Peter VERY AWARE of tropes around portals to Hell, we dive deep on a movie with vision and ambition that is sorely missing in today's Hollywood offerings. Please enjoy, and if you like these 'extras', please support us on Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/vgerplease
As was foretold, we have arrived at the end of the Heinous Trip at Warp 5 and now set the whole of Enterprise into it's deserved grave! What was the best? The worst? Was this show late breaking competence enough to make it worth watching at all? We dive deep as we always do to answer the tough question. Listen and enjoy!
It's that magical time yet again as we reach the end of another Trek season and hand out all our awards for the Enterprise Season 4 RIP! This was a fantastic season of Trek, but we still have lists of the best things, the worst things, the OSHA violations, and so much more! Check it out!
We enter the times that try men's souls as we review the most unfortunate series finale in Trek history as we review the infamous "These Are The Voyages...". That said...is it really as bad as everyone's says? yeah Trip gets the worst death scene of all time. Sure, the premise only makes a limited amount of sense. But....the worst Trek episode of all time? Is it even the worst episode of Enterprise Season 4? We got all the hot takes, so give it a listen!
It turns out Peter and Joseph are not the only nerds watching Trek and sharing their thoughts about it online! From across the pond we interview actor and author Tom Salinsky on his new book "Star Trek: Discovering the TV Series", wherein Tom documents his first own Trek thoughts and reviews. We dig deep on all the big questions: How did British people manage to watch Trek back in the day? Is the Motion Picture really that long? And was Captain Jellico right the whole time?
Tune in for a great conversation, and buy Tom's book at the link below!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Star-Trek-Discovering-Original-Generation/dp/1399035045
The true series finale of Enterprise is here as we review "Terra Prime"! Everyone has plot as RoboCop tries to stay winning,Trip gets the head wounds, Hoshi finally commands, Reed returns to Gotham, and Archer takes until the last second to pull off a Classic Captain's Speech Check. There are no Enterprise episodes after this! No sir! What a satisfying...wait...oh no.
The true grand finale of Enterprise begins as we review "Demons"! It's nothing but jam packed excellence as Peter Weller does the best bad guy monologues, Travis gets laid, and Trip and T'Pol attempt the most ill-advised infiltration of all time!
It's all fun and games until its time for the hallway knife fights as we review "In the Mirror, Darkly Part 2"! We get more of everything we loved - abs, Simon Mayweather Phoenix, awesome TOS sets, Mirror Universe scene chewing, more abs, you name it! We also get more of Archer being an evil dweeb, but at least he evaporates a guy!
We arrive at what are likely the most famous and best regarded Enterprise episodes as we at last review "In A Mirror, Darkly"! We have our good pal Ian bust out a whole know theme song for the occasion as we hit all the highlights. For no particular reason we get the awesome nasty versions of our heroes, Jolene's abs getting their moment in the sun, bad haircuts all around, Mayweather as Simon Phoenix, Linda Park spending most of the episode without clothes on, and the deepest Trek continuity cuts you can imagine. This rules, so get in here!
We are warping right into the Red Light District as we review the very peak Sexy Alien Lady tropes as we review "Bound"! When The NX-01 gets back to doing random space stuff one last time, Archer runs into the very finest Space Hottie train in all the galaxy. Turns out it's a pretty cool episode about how Orion women use overwhelming sexual power to be space pirates, but you may not your kids around as you watch it.
It's a densely packed hour over here as we review "Divergence"! This one has it all - maybe too much - as Trip has to jump trains to restart the router, Phlox decided to bioweapon everyone, Archer shows up to get juiced on Klingon super blood, AND STILL MORE! We also start to have the conversation every Trek fan must - what is with this Section 31 stuff anyway?
What is hopefully your favorite podcast talks about a lot of things this week, because we only had the second half of "Affliction"to go over. Great episode, Reed is somehow interesting for a change, the Trip/T'Pol gets real weird real fast, bust mostly we ramble about Deus Ex, Voyager episodes, and even AI a little bit. Give it a listen!
The boys take their time with quality as we review the first half of "Affliction"! This week, we reflect on Gary Graham (RIP) and his Trek contributions, the retro-continuity to fix a Voltaire lyric turning into solid gold, James Avery being the best guest star, and Phlox being incredulous for all of us.
Come enjoy Andoria in summer as we review "The Aenar"! Jeff Combs gives us one last taste of Shran greatness as he and Archer go on a zany funhouse adventure, the Romulan Primogen tries to set a record for L's, and Trip has a case of the sad boi.
The political intrigue and ritualistic knife fighting heats up as we review "United"! When Archer tries to get everyone to act like adults so they can deal with the Romulan CIA Drones, Shran goes full goblin mode, Travis has hidden talents, and we manage not to hate Reed (for once).
It's the shifty antagonists you always need to have show up eventually as we review "Babel One"! When the Romulan/Brujah Primogen starts drone striking a few too many weddings, can Archer make his Diplomacy skill check? Meanwhile, we also review "Godzilla Minus One" and ask if you want us to review....Kindred: The Embraced?
We review the alpha and the omega of bottle episodes in the form of "Observer Effect"! The producers remember they should probably have Hoshi and Mayweather do some things while the save every dollar they can. Thankfully, it turns out a lot of good actors work on this show!
It's the episode straight from Peter's darkest industrial accident dreams as we review "Daedalus"! When the Enterprise has on-board the creator of the transporter, horrifying hyjinks ensue as ensigns lose their face, the transporter is confirmed for being a soul elimination device, and the main guest star forgot how to act.
Nothing like a little torture between friends as we review "Kir'Shara". When Jeffery Combs shows up, you know it's the good stuff as Shran and Soval have some personal time, Archer and T'Pol put on a sweet holographic display, and Koss comes through as too good for his wife anyway.
The political intrigue only gets more complex as we review "Awakening"! While Archer achieves levels of head trauma no human could dream of as Vulcan Jesus chills out in his brain, Trip tries not to moops his way into interstellar war and Vulcans are blind to hallways.
This mid science fiction show we were watching suddenly turns into a tight political thriller as we review "The Forge". All those promises to Peter for the good Vulcan content pays off in spades as the Earth embassy gets bomber by Detective Guilty and Archer is on the case!
We finally manage to do a whole Season 4 episode in one go as we review "The Augments"! It's tragic endings all around as we get more jailbreaks, Adam Smasher going full madman, and the most uncomfortable bedroom scene in Trek history.
We enjoy everyone going into Maximum Actor Mode as we finish our review of "Cold Station 12". Compelling drama swirls around us as we see the Nerfed MACOs get punked again, Dr. Soongchez realizes he goofed, and Archer tries to get himself killed twice.
Your hosts continue to explore the depths of every moment of this suddenly high quality television program as we start our review of "Cold Station 12"! Between the high stakes drama and careful plotting there is very little to criticize, but it does beg one clear question - could have the early 2000's handled Bisexual Phlox?
We try to use all the Enterprise Season 4 buffalo as we review the second half of "Borderlands"! We get multiple classic jailbreaks, MACOS getting hit with a nerf patch, and Mayweather denied greatness.
We go deep on the forbidden lore as your heroes discuss the first half of "Borderlands"! An episode so rich with content we had to split our discussion up into two parts, we get the Rick Sanchez arc of the Soong family, Big Show giving airplane rides, and how to make sense of old TOS continuity from the 60's.
With all that German side plot out of the way, the season really starts as we watch "Home". Everybody has a bad time when the NX-01 returns - we got PTSD, angry drunks, last-second weddings, and Mayweather showing that he is all you ever need to bring to a bar fight.
Things get a lot worse as we wrap up the NX-01's prior season Quest Log as we review "Storm Front, Part 2"! The writers can't get of the Temporal Cold War fast enough as we straight speed run to the finish, spawn camp some Germans, and get back to the plot we actually want to see.
We fly into Enterprise's final season with an episode filled with all the C&C Red Alert cutscenes you never saw in "Storm Front"! Just when they thought they earned a rest, the NX-01 faces a Time Zucc oopsie, powerleveled Germans in New York, and a special guest star from another UPN show.
We reach the awesome, if inevitable, conclusion as the last TNG character returns for the thrilling Picard S3 finale! We review Episodes 9 -10, Peter has a single tear form in his eye as the Big Bad Galaxy Class Lad returns, and the crew has a final adventure that uses all the memberberries...and we like it!
Our nostalgic, high-quality final journey with the TNG crew continues as we review Picard S3 Episodes 5-8! It's time to put the band back together while the Titan is on the run, we thankfully start getting a lot less of Michelle Hurd, and we should all be so lucky to get those sweet Old Age Jackets to slim us on camera.
In this year's most unexpected plot twist, Joseph and Peter watch and real time as Terry Matalas saved Star Trek: Picard from it's garbage fate with it's excellent Season 3! In the first of our trilogy of reviews, we cover Episodes 1-4 and revel in the most rare find of all: good NuTrek.
With the Xindi arc now (mostly) behind us, Peter and Joseph review the season-that-was of Enterprise! Season 3 was a banger as predicted, but what made it work so well? What could be improved? Why did they make 'Extinction'? What was the weakest you-know what? Listen and find out!
Earth faces the worst OSHA violation in the galaxy as we watch the thrilling "Zero Hour"! We have shootouts, uncomfortable skin makeup, Mortal Kombat fights, and Best Frenemies showing up with the steel chair! Maybe...too much.
It's all hands on deck as we review Season 3's penultimate offering, "Countdown"! Hoshi has a Very Bad Time with her new friends, Diplomat Archer continues to emerge, Major Hayes is two weeks from retirement, and we realize Smouldering Catcher Guy isn't gone...because he has been with us all season.
The Terminus Systems Arc begins it's climax as the NX-01 rolls in for "The Council". As Archer puts on his best Diplomacy Face, he tries to convince the the Xindi that maybe religiously motivated genocide is bad. Meanwhile, T'Pol leads a MACO to the most redshirt-y death of all time and Degra makes the mistake of resolving his backstory.
When NX-01 tries to take the shortcut on the space county road, they run into themselves in " E Squared"! Space Elf General Brewster and friends thinks it is gonna be one way...but will it be the other?
Enterprise moves into full 'war is hell' mode as we review "The Forgotten". The crew of the NX-01 digs deep on the heavy questions - death, grief, perseverance - as Trip finds himself in choking distance of Space Oppenheimer. Also, will Reed finally achieve his fondest wish of dying on the ship's hull?
Your hosts continue to revel in the sudden hard upshift in quality of this roller coaster they call Enterprise as we review "Damage". After the NX-01 gets half its hull plates blown off, the crew survives...but Archer is meeting Sea World People, the crew goes full pirate, and T'Pol has the most unfortunate addiction ever.
Strap yourselves in, as a whole new show starts as we arrive at "Azati Prime"! This one truly has everything - Time Zucc, relationship drama, murders, Trek lady weak zone exploitation, and all the traumatic brain injury you can handle (also lots of compelling drama and action good grief this was good)!
Before we arrive at Azati Prime we have one little side-trip into a world where Jeffrey Combs is all you need. That's right, we reviewed the classic horror (?) comedy(!) film "Re-Animator" for our Patrons earlier this year, now available to all! Observe as roles are reversed and Peter gushes endless detail while Joseph is bewildered by everything happening around him.
A combination of motherly instinct and strong workplace violence comes together as we review "Hatchery"! When the NX-01 happens by a crashed Insectoid ship, Archer gets more than some sweet loot, Major Hayes gets a Space Horror MVP award, and we finally get a mutiny!
It's deja-vu all over again as we review "Doctor's Orders"! For some reason, the writers decided to rip off of Voyager's "One" beat for beat ...but hey, at least it's a well done rip off. John Billingsley does all the acting, we find out Trip is a Void Engineer, and Porthos remains a Very Good Boy.
Several running plots reach a...uh...culmination as we review "Harbringer". When Trip decides to give Vulcan Touching to the ship's standard issue Hot Israeli, T'Pol decides to steal her man back and it all plays better than you think. Also a bad melting chocolate space man appears!
The crew of the NX-01 bust out all their drama kid skills as we review "Stratagem"! After capturing a very stupid Degra and friends, Archer goes full LARP Goblin with a side of memory chloroform to get some answers.
The NX-01 gets a heaping helping of everyone's favorite Andorian as we review "Proving Ground"! While it's no mystery that any episode with Jeffrey Combs and his acting cheat codes is a banger, this one reaches new heights as Shran is all too helpful and creates an Archer Head Wound Inversion.
When a robed alien who is definitely not Space Osama shows up, he and his fundamentalist pals take over the NX-01 in "Chosen Realm". We are right on the post-9/11 nose this week as we deal with religious fanatics, terrorism, mad bombers, and the whole '24' package!
Because going to Planet Trigun just wasn't enough, we get our second 'period episode' in three weeks as we endure "Carpenter Street"! Time Zucc rolls in just in time to give Archer and T'Pol a fetch quest, our heroes do a quick L&O: SVU costume change, and it's time to hit the drive-thru!
High drama, subtle production design, and excellent performances are on the table as we review a truly great entry of the Trek canon in "Similitude". When a Starfleet IED knocks Trip into a coma, Phlox does some off the books dirt, Archer stops shaving, and T'Pol winds up in a triangle with two versions of the same guy.
It's time to grab yer six shooter and grab the best western wear in the studio, because it's Cowboy Episode time as we review "North Star". After finding Old West Planet for no reason, this rootin' tootin yarn ain't bad, but it also needed to be in Season 2 where it belonged.
The NX-01 gets a taste of the Game Over screen as we review "Twlight"! After a head wound for the ages takes away Archer's ability to form memories, the crew gets a mission fail and humanity is doing a BSG impression. Lament with us as no one notices that Mayweather died.
When the NX-01 finally gets a lead from discount Phantom of the Opera, they get the moral choice prompt as we review "The Shipment". Will Archer press L and Space Pipe all the Xindi sloths, or press R and give them hugs?
It's a dark and stormy night as Hoshi fends off a maggot faced neckbeard in "Exile"! The character the producers forgot finally gets an episode, but only after she raids Crewman Cutler's hoe clothes stash. Can the NX-01 wake a good episode out of all these weird choices?
What if I told you that the best Enterprise episode (so far) was written by a man who might be a big deal 20 years later? Oh by the way Peter and I reviewed "Impluse" this week and it's Archer and Co. playing Left 4 Dead IRL and it's fantastic.
We reach the sophmoric depths of the late Berman era as we review "Rajiin"! All the space hookers are on display as Archer and company try and find the Xindi, but when the plot kicks in, will any of the female cast members preserve their dignity?
After hundreds of episodes...did we finally find the worst one of them all? Joseph and Peter explore a whole Delphic Expanse of pain as they review "Extinction'! When Archer turns...into...a ...bird person? Oh God. Oh GOD WHAT IS THIS.
The reboot gets even grittier as we review "Anomaly"! When the NX-01 gets Space Mugged while dealing with a serious case of Bad CGI Floating Coffee, the crew will have to summon their best moody soundtrack beats (and some light torture) to survive.
The gritty reboot era makes itself know as Joseph and Peter review "The Xindi". Armed with a new cheap set with bad lightning, can the NX-01's new XCOM team help rescue Archer - and the show - from the space sewers?
Previously a Patreon exclusive, Peter and Joseph discuss a season of 'nuTrek' that didn't immediately have them running for the toilet. Strange New Worlds was...pretty good! Mostly enjoyable! More important to us is why did it take THIS long to make something decent?
Peter and Joseph discuss the many, many, many lows of ENT Season 2, what was salvageable, and if any of it was worth it.
The show we knew gets chucked right out the window as we finally hit "The Expanse"! Archer ducks his court date, as Earth get's 9/11'd real hard. Turns out you can to the terrorisim plotline in the 22nd century, too! Also: It good.
We get one more episodic adventure before sending Season Teo (or Poo) off to the sunset as we review "Bounty". Archer pulls a double plus Uno reverse card jail break with a guy just trying to get his sweet ride back all while the writers find one more way to get T'Pol's clothes off.
We get another, less cosmic step into the past when we review "First Flight"! Back in the day, Archer wanted to prove he had The Right Stuff, but can he overcome Action Grandpa?
Your hosts meet some old Swedish friends as we review "Regeneration"! When those darn zombie cyborgs recreate "The Thing", can the NX-01 find that Janeway magic in time?
Yours hosts watch a wierd one to consume in 2023 as we review "Cogenitor". We lament that they picked Trip to be the vehicle for a little too much American style freedom as Reed takes Mrs. Ugg for a wide in his Weapons Bay.
Your heroes review "The Breach", the most unlikely combination of rock climbing and space racists you have ever seen! We get a very confusing but specific set of problems as the NX-01 sends Travis, his biceps, and some dweebs to rescue scientists. Also Phlox has his Very Special Episode.
That's a big 10-4 there good buddy as we see some more Space Trucker Justice in "Horizon". While the NX-01 goes on a side quest of Trip flirting with T'Pol, Mayweather visits home sweet...ship? Can Travis keep his little bro from going full Space Coward or Space Fascist?
We will have order in this judicial process as we review "Judgment"! Enterprise indulges its best habits as Archer gets a taste of Law & Order: Qapla Unit, JG gets to do his thing, and we get a heaping pile of crunchy Klingon backstory.
The recovery of Season Two from it's scatalogical description takes a step back as we review "The Crossing". When the NX-01 encounters humanity's first brush with the dreaded body snatch plotline, everyone - particularly the writers - make every incorrect decision.
We reach an unexpected high point in the Trek Space Prison Break genre as we review "Canamar". This might be a well-worn trope, but nothing like getting an actor from Shawshank while copying Nic Cage's best move to get the most out of it!
Our journey through Season 2 puts up its first winning streak as we review "Future Tense". Enterprise's worst plotline puts up its best entry as the NX-01 crew works through a Doctor Who plot, but in a good way. That said, would it have killed Trip to call someone when he found a hell portal?
We see what it is like when Enterprise gets its act together as we review "Cease Fire". As the show suddenly remembers its own premise, Archer and T'Pol meet the very best Special Guest Stars as they try and negotiate while Trip manages to show character growth.
Your hosts get a bad case of tonal whiplash as we review "Stigma"! Nothing quite like pairing a classic Trek move like analyzing a current year issue through a Trek plot device as T'Pol battles Space AIDS, but did they have to pair it with a screwball comedy beat about Trip plowing one of Phlox's wives?
Ever wanted to see "Darmok", but absent the interesting plot device? How about "The Enemy" but just boring? Good news, we are reviewing "Dawn"! Trip takes his shirt off and is stranded on a planet (again) and fights Reptile before discovering the power of Friendship.
To the great relief of your beleaguered hosts, we actually got to review a decent episode this week in the form of "The Catwalk"! When the NX-01 needs to create a little hobo camp in the nacelle to avoid bad space weather, we get some Space Jackboots, a bucket for a seat, character development, and the first ever use of a future leader's favorite trick.
An old energy sweeps through the veins of your hosts and the Hateful Journey re-emerges as we review "Precious Cargo". Is Padma Lakshmi's 'acting' the worst thing to ever happen to Star Trek? Who let this air, and how much money did he ow the mob? This might be the worst one of them all.
All of your host's best and longest memes come to life when they review "Vanishing Point"! At last we get a Star Trek episode about how the transporter is a soul-snatching hell machine...but can the Enterprise writers managed to deliver on such a great premise? Of course not!
The Season Turd adventures continue as we force ourselves to come up with things to talk about regarding "Singularity"? This is an episode where everyone has a case of the Mondays over petty beefs until...T'Pol makes Archer take a shower. God help us.
When Reed leaves his new iPhone at the restaurant it leads to wacky...invisible man gags? That's right, we review "The Communicator"! Archer gets to indulge his head wound fetish yet again while the continuity becomes almost too much for the plot to handle.
The boys reunite with one of their favorite guest stars as they review "The Seventh". What happens when Capt. Manchild gets asked by his friend for help in restoring her Vulcan Vice Cop honor? An episode where Mayweather is the best thing going.
The Enterprise writers take a classic western/frontier story and manage to do nothing with it in "Marauders"! When the NX-01 swings by a remote gas station to fill up, Archer forces his help on people who don't want it. Then Klingons show up for a Scooby-Doo level fight sequence!
Our savagery knows no bounds as we are forced to watch and review "A Night in Sickbay" - an episode so bad, it defies brief description. Witness as Archer fails to have basic adult coping skills, more cringe exploitation happens, and we question the sanity and good sense of everyone involved.
The NX-01 gets a refit AND helps itself to some totally not suspect brisket at the local Space Buc-ee's in "Dead Stop"! Trip and Reed try to Solid Snake, Archer has poorly articulated feelings, and we find out the real reason Mayweather is on this show as we review this shadow two-parter.
It's just two lads talking about disarming some bombs ... but enough about Joseph and Peter, this is an episode about "Minefield". When the NX-01 oopsie doodles into a very confusing trap, Reed finds chit-chatting with Archer so intolerable, he tries to eighty-six himself on the spot. We feel you, bro.
We head back into the time to the days of Sputnik, I Love Lucy, and...secret first contact between T'Pol's great, great grandma and the world's nicest coal mining town in "Carbon Creek". We get an out-of-place, late season filler episode that isn't terrible, and also features the most blatant sexual exploitation to date! Truly this one has everything!
The NX-01 continues it's battle against weird time nonsense as we review "Shockwave Pt.2"! As Archer and Space Zuck try and come up with a plan at some random library's fiction section, how many scenes of blatant sexual exploitation can the episode fit in? Two! The answer is two!
Previously a Patreon exclusive, enjoy our first ever review of an actual TNG production - "Star Trek: Generations". Listen as Joseph tries to convince Peter the film is Actually Good, while he fights the hater's fight. Who will win? Listen and find out!
We take a quick detour back to familiar characters in an unfamiliar place as we interview Johnathan "JK" Morris, the creator of the excellent Voyager Season 8 Podcast! Listen in as we praise his writing and vision, dog on on his perfectionist release schedule, and tell you all how much you need to be listening!
You can cut the sexual tension with a knife as Joseph and Peter provide the Enterprise Season 1 RIP in our first in person recording in years! What is the worst, what is the best, and what new awards do we hand out this time around? Listen and find out!
The NX-01 does a little bit of light genocide as we review "Shockwave"! When a little oopsie doodle mass murder nearly ruins Archer's field trip, Space Zucc shows up to provide aimbots and GM notes. Is this episode haxx? Or just boring as hell?
Gather around the campfire as Peter tells us all about the Artemis convention, polite Canadian space pirates, and a whole bunch of other things more interesting than "Two Days and Two Nights", which we eventually review and is ...okay.
When Captain Hadley shows up, it's time for some prime overacting as we watch "Desert Crossing"! When Archer and Trip rescue Mr. Crabbs, they get a dinner invite that ends in balls, desert lacrosse, and a subplot about heat stroke that ruins everything. Would you like to know more?
A familiar face graces our screen as we review "Fallen Hero"! After Archer gets browbeat into doing a quick fetch quest for the Vulcans, the NX-01 winds up in the middle of the most unnecessary conspiracy of all time. But hey, any excuse to finally make the Warp 5 ship go Warp 5, right guys?
Tune in this week as we review "Vox Sola", where I cannot describe a single thing we say in this episode or this advertisement will never pass social media standards. Quick, go take a look at one screen shot of this thing. What do YOU think we spend an hour talking about?
The lingering malaise of Enterprise S1 really starts to set in as we review "Detained"! When a stunt-casted Al shows up for the big 'message episode' about internment camps being bad, what happens when the writers are so dim-witted they make the bad guys completely reasonable?
We get two special guest stars for the price of one as we review "Oasis"! When the NX-01 finds a spoopy ghost ship the most obvious plot happens. Even with the writers using 100% of the René Auberjonois, will that be enough?
At last Enterprise stops holding back and really shows us how bad it can be as we review the inexcusably bad "Acquisition". Your hosts don't hold anything back as even they are unable to find a way to save this wretched turkey.
Old instincts coming rushing back as we get the Chuck O’Tay episode no one wanted in the wrong show as we review ”Rogue Planet”! When the NX-01 meets some Dick’s Sporting Good aliens, Archer tries to score a date with a metaphorical Pokemon from a poem. Seriously, this is the plot.
We meet the Vulcan everyone warned you about at the Goth Club as we review "Fusion". We get the standard Enterprise tropes here - Archer gets more traumatic brain injury, T'Pol gets the short end of the stick, and Trip is a super bro to the first fat Vulcan.
You podcast team faces off as they review “Shuttlepod One”! Will Joseph be able to bring Peter into the light of accepting this stage play style episode as a quality addition of the Enterprise cannon? Or will he persist in complaining about this greatness with his ‘facts’ and ‘logic’? Listen and find out!
We settle in to some of that sweet continuity as we review "Shadows of P'Jem"! Marvel at an episode that is supposed to be all about T'Pol making a choice but ends up with her having zero agency and dumb boob jokes until Shran shows up and saves us all.
Your intrepid podcast duo does a bit of late-night recording as they review "Sleeping Dogs"! As we are confronted by yet another C+ to B- entry of Enterprise, we postulate on the reasons why the show became a cultural footnote. Also, Reed has a cold.
Phlox entertains his lady friend while the Nx-01 tries to help very friendly aliens in “Dear Doctor”! Will the planet of comfy sweaters be a match for Phlox coming in hot to both Crewman Cutler AND terrible medical ethics? Probably not!
The NX-01 gets it’s Reed episode while they deal with incredibly serious, death defining stakes of alien in “Silent Enemy”. Also, for some godforsaken reason, half the runtime is about Hoshi finding out what he wants in a cake. This is a thing that actually happens.
Sins of pilots past return to haunt us as a certain Temporal Agent makes his first appearance in “Cold Front”! Gas up the space RV because we are headed to Branson to look at stars with space Hare Krishnas.
Your podcast heroes run out of ways to describe all the bad plans when they review "Fortunate Son"! The NX-01 takes a detour to helped some stranded space truckers, they get subjected to terrible Mayweather acting and have another inexplicable low-intensity space fight. It's not a good trend!
The NX-01 unlocks the power of unlimited breadsticks as we review “Civilization”. When the crew finds a planet that’s a cross between Witcher 2 and Italian family dining, a fun field trip becomes a Captain Planet episode …and very little else happens.
Enjoy an episode with the lowest possible stakes as the lads review “Breaking the Ice”. This one is so casual, it spends five minutes on a scene where they answer poop questions by 4th graders, and the villain is...poor footing.
Quick visit to the gift shop at the Vulcan monastery leads to a galaxy of head wounds as we review “The Andorian Incident”! When the NX-01 Trio tries to get cultural enlightenment they run into the unmitigated excellence of Jeffrey Combs and hatch a plan to avoid having Reed shoot up the place …which involves Reed shooting up the place.
You podcast heroes remember to select the banker and head west as they review “Terra Nova”! When the NX-01 decides to check in on a colony that went silent, they find a lightly irradiated Paramount backlot, Reed gets a convenient leg wound, That Guy from The Mummy shows up, and Mayweather has to do the homework.
Things take a deeply weird turn on the NX-01 as the boys review “Unexpected”. When Archer sends Trip over on a weirdly inefficient field trip to help space lizards on the cheapest set imaginable, he manages to get the worst case of cooties ever seen. He has all the hormones as his fixes OSHA violations, and also … Klingons show up?
The first away mission becomes the field trip from hell as we review “Strange New World”! When Archer stupidly decides for no reason to visit a cool LA area park, T’Pol and Space Florida Man get a dose of accidental MK Ultra in the Not Hell Caves while Red Shirt Tennis Star has a bad time with the soul sucking device.
The Edgy Space Teens have their first brush with existential space horror and the NX-01 decide to put invasive species on random planets as we review “Fight or Flight”! Watch as Archer writes stupid decision checks his bad torpedoes can’t cash, Hoshi thinks it’s time to nope out, and we learn some space fairing races lack critical context clue skills.
I hope you got plenty of that Faith of the Heart, because your heroes are BACK with a review on Enterprise’s opener, “Broken Bow”. When Deebo drops in on Earth, the NX-01 has to make an unscheduled trip to Discount Omega as edgy teenager humans rebel against their lame Vulcan Dads. What could go wrong?
Your podcast heroes finally reach the end of the Voyager experience and discuss the show as a whole, answer the big questions, and drop an awards show for the ages!
We sail into that sweet docking birth at Utopia Planitia, you podcast heroes has some final thoughts on Season 7! What was the best? Who was the worst and why is it always Harry Kim? Who got an ending...and was the ending actually good? Listen and get the very best takes on the season-that-was!
It was all leading up to this...while there are no Thanos snaps to be found, we get plenty of timey-wimey nonsense in "Endgame"! After a gently aged up Admiral Janeway shows up to power level Voyager into some epic gear, we spend way too much time on the worst love story of all time.
Spy, tech expert, potential murder machine .... the EMH really does it all as we review "Renaissance Man"! We get to see the Doc at his full (and terrifying) potential as the Tater Boys show up for one last run. Meanwhile, Smoldering Catcher Guy gets lines! This one has everything!
You podcast heroes shed a single manly tear as they watch "Homestead"! While Neelix has his Senior Week moment, we see the forbidden from the mouth of babes, that apparently the Borg are so weak they even get beat by nomad Talaxians, and an honest reflection on what made the Space Rat our favorite character.
Prepare the Space Peyote and fire up the Native band because our favorite Dream Warrior saddles up for one last star turn in "Natural Law". We get a turd straight from the Season Two writers room, with the added 'bonus' of Seven of Nine tripping over her heels.
Your podcast heroes say goodnight to the sweet prince when thy watch "Friendship One"! We watch as the writers put poor Joe Carey on the most obvious express lane to red shirt territory in all of Trek history while the gang tries to raid a Fallout 3 Raider hideout. It goes poorly, but the episode is kinda rad.
Your podcast heroes accept the charges and review "Author, Author"! The writers manage to dump about seven or eight plots on us as the crew manages the sweet new Barclay Facetime App. Is the EMH a real boy? Does Seven's aunt have a warm plate of cookies waiting for her? Did Maquis call their lawyers?
From the depths of early season garbage comes the sequel no one wanted and you didn't ask for - "Q2"! We try our best to talk about this episode in a way that does not fill our you with dread, misery, and lots of jokes about an extra greasy John de Lancie. (Narrator: They failed.)
Your podcast heroes bask in the fully operational glory of Jeri Ryan in a red dress as we review "Human Error". Seven of Nine re-activates her World of Warcraft account and gets just a little too involved in that RP server as she tries to become a real girl. Meanwhile, her coworkers are kinda jerks, but then again she did shoot at them a lot.
It's a jailbreak within a jailbreak as we review "Workforce, Part 2". There are good cops, bad doctors, effective detective work, shootouts, and more...all to serve the greatest betrayal of all time.
We get a front row seat to Kathy J getting to live her best life in "Workforce". We observe as the Captain trades her pips to punch a clock at the power plant, finds a great Silver Fox to shack up with, and burns another roast. Meanwhile, a pretty good episode takes place behind her!
Voyager finds out who runs Barter Town when they wind up in "The Void"! We get those major Babylon 5 vibes as Janeway pairs together he two favorite things - diplomacy and bad decision making! Also the Doctor teaches Techno.
Voyager pulls up along side a generational Klingon party bus and hyjinks ensue as your podcast heroes review "Prophecy". What happens when a band of heavy metal samurai have a case of the West Virginia's and they think B'Elanna's baby is Jesus? Meanwhile, Neelix arrives at the moment he trained his whole life for, and we are here for it.
Your podcast heroes get back on track with a review of "Repentance" (and a little bit on "Lineage"). When Voyager saves some Space Texans and the Doctor fixes a murder brain, what happens when the Federation encounter a Very Special Episode?
Your podcast heroes take a quick (previously Patreon only) sidequest into one of their other favorite fictional sci-fi universes involving Ron Moore - Battlestar Galactica! We review the oddball TV movie Razor and dive deep on the pre-streaming dawn of the Golden Age of Television, BSG as a series, and of course the merits of an entire feature length film that serves as largely irrelevant backstory.
The deepest fan service is on the menu as we review "Shattered", the Voyager installment made for nerds like us. This week, Chakotay has to remember all the plots as the Ghost of Voyager's Future and outwit his almost baby mamma Burn Queen one more time.
Your podcast heroes finish off "Flesh and Blood" and ask all the tough questions. Is Evil Hologram Jesus a cookie cutter bad guy or a well developed antagonist? How much better would Voyager be with a kill-team of murder AI? Ar those who eat butt still able to enter Sto-vo-kor?
We all learn the lesson that you need to play nice with your toys as we review Part 1 of "Flesh and Blood"! Our favorite World War 2 Cosplayers show back up and made a big oopsie, the EMH engages in a bit of light treason, and Peter nearly scared himself dead in VR.
Your podcast heroes lay into one of the all time Jabroni circus episodes when they review "Nightingale"! Marvel as we suffer through Starfleet officers lacking adult reasoning skills and Harry Kim being the biggest whiny douche in the quadrant, all while B'Elanna takes a trip to Cougar Town.
We all find out together how much Peter hates fun as we review "Body and Soul", a fun, breezy rom-com of an episode that one half of this duo just can't bring himself to like. One thing we do agree on? Tom Paris is the dirtiest pimp in the Delta Quadrant!
Yet another great episode of Next Gen breaks out in the middle of Voyager as we watch the adventures of Barclay with "Inside Man." Your podcast hero's teenage fantasies are paid off as Ferengi...engage in mass murder for profit? Yeeesh.
Hand us a hypospray as we diagnose "Critical Care", the EMH medical drama you didn't know you needed. Doctor Picardo comes through strong as he poisons Dr. Giggles for the greater good, all while Voyager chases after the Cryptkeeper.
Just when you thought the totally forgot, the writers remember a third of the entire crew are dirty space terrorists in "Repression". We get one final look at the finest uniforms ever to grace the Trek screen and admire smoldering catcher guy in his natural habitat while a terrible Season Two episode happens all around us.
Your podcast heroes shift into high gear as they watch Voyager's attempt at chariot racing with "Drive"! We watch as the galaxy's worst match try and fix their dysfunctional relationship with marriage! This never works! Please do not do this!
Sometimes, it's the good ones that are the hardest to talk about...and that is the case this week as we review "Imperfection"! Your podcast heroes try and find different ways to say 'yes they sure did act real good there' while speculating what is in Seven of Nine's secret shakes.
Your podcast heroes begin the final leg of the journey home as they review "Unimatrix Zero, Part II" and remain entirely unimpressed by everything they are seeing. Tuvok forgets the change the passwords, B'Elanna gets slapped out of the episode, and the Borg are reduced to a trivial annoyance. It's terrible!
Your podcast heroes breath a big sigh of relief as they put a bow on Season Six of Star Trek: Voyager and hand out their patent end-of-season awards! While Season Sucks really was the worst, it wasn't all bad. We go through all the high, the lows, the weakest you-know-what...all the classics, just for you!
Your podcast heroes winding road through Season Sucks finally draws to a close with "Unimatrix Zero, Part 1"! We explore the occasional high but mostly the lows of this season ending entry, wonder how the writers missed on putting Seven's dad in this, and explain to the audience how horny Second Life really is.
For the consideration of the Midnight Society its a review of "The Haunting of Deck Twelve!" This decent-ish episode is filled with all kinds of spooky stories, chair assaults by D&D Wizards, and Shocky, the Voyager crew member we should have had but never got.
Your podcast heroes consume the maximum amount of Picardo that your doctor can prescribe as they review "Life Line"! It's some hot Robert-on-Robert action as the EMH comes to cure his sort-of Dad as our favorite TNG guest stars grab the popcorn to watch.
Your podcast heroes celebrate unironically the return of their favorite character in “Fury” and then, you know, immediately despair about what a terrible episode they gave her to come back to. Don’t worry though, we give this one the quick, quality re-write that would make any Space Euripides proud!
Your podcast heroes return with a review of "Muse", the episode where Space Euripides gets a new secret girlfriend who is very angry and also a Klingon. Witness a decent episode filled with B'Elanna giving zero care for the Prime Directive and a heaping helping of writer self insert commentary.
Previously only available to our Patreon subscribers, enjoy Joseph and Peter's review of Season 1 of Lower Decks! Does the fandom power of the best Trek Twitter account combined with Discount Rick and Morty animation actually make for a good show? Turns out the answer is yes....eventually.
Your podcast heroes resume Director LeVar’s redemption arc with “Live Fast and Prosper”, an episode about what happens when Voyager’s Equifax data gets stolen. Thankfully, our heroes have the two best ex-cons possible to counter grift the grifters, and we are here for it.
Ever had to deal with a coworker whom you would love to fall victim to a tragic transporter accident? Everyone on Voyager can evidently relate thanks to “Good Shepard”! is it a rip off of the famous TNG episode about low-ranking grunts? Sure, but at least it’s a good one!
The clouds break and daylight shines on the eternal storm as your podcast heroes review “Child’s Play”, the second episode in a row with ma major Supernatural side character. We pay to Jeri Ryan’s performance while wondering how many times Janeway is going to take a hard pass on Borg extermination.
Your podcast heroes meet Harry's not at all imagined, super competent, long term love interest who previously died off screen in "Ashes to Ashes". We 'enjoy' the return of the A/B plot with an episode that fails at every level.
Your podcast heroes face a true test of their friendship as they review the return to Irish Disneyland, "Spirit Folk". With no Australians in sight to help bail them out, can Peter endure the shocking admission that Joseph...kinda liked it?
Voyager’s destructive rampage through the quadrant continues in “Collective”, when they run into a boat filled with cyborg murder babies. Your podcast heroes lament missed opportunities and contemplate all the therapy bills they kids are going to rack up.
You better beeelieeeve that your podcast heroes are reviewing the most intense, slam-jammin' episode of Voyager ever made in "Tsunkatse"! They behold the majesty of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, DS9 Guest Stars, and as much production value as a county fair!
This week we get into the tall grass, looking for VC in the Delta Quadrant as we watch “Memorial”. Tom, Chakotay, Harry, and Neelix LARP some serious PTSD as Voyager handles what amount to a Very Special Episode. Also: Is Tom the worst boyfriend ever?
Your podcast heroes deal with a serious contender for The Absolute Worst as they review "Virtuoso" - an episode all about aliens with zero redeeming qualities turning the EMH into a pop star. Everyone is awful and it sucks. Why are we doing this again?
Your podcast heroes debate the merits of "Blink of an Eye", an episode free of both the Irish and general stink of Season Sucks...but is it good? More importantly, how many people did Dr. Evil kill on that planet?
Your podcast heroes call in help from The Land Down Under to tackle the biggest holodeck turkey of them all – “Fair Haven”! Listen as Joseph and Peter get the assist from Tarran and Mike from Hail and Well Met as they discuss Janeway’s modded saves, the disgusting nature of Irish cooking, and the fine art of making your boss a custom boyfriend.
At last, The Broccoli Man makes a triumphant return as we watch “Pathfinder”. As one of our favorite Trek characters battles his holo-demons, we realize that we are just watching TNG episode with some Voyager character in it. You won’t catch us complaining!
The resident Borg finally digs too greedily and too deep in "The Voyager Conspiracy". When Seven of Nine comes out the other end jabbering that the moon landing was faked and trying to sell something called 'Super Male Vitality' will Janeway and Chuck O'Tay turn on each other for no reason? Of course they will!
"Why do we argue? Life's so fragile, a successful virus clinging to a speck of mud, suspended in endless nothing."
You know what else is suspended in an endless nothing? Season Six of Voyager, and the episode "One Small Step"! Listen to our despair and behold a greater truth!
The Voyager Gang gets up to more wacky hijinks as we review “Dragon’s Teeth”! As we wonder if Trash Bag Tom will accidentally get the crew hooked on crack cocaine, witness the ultimate manifestation of Voyager getting bad Delta Nextdoor rep.
The Truth Is Out There as Voyager teams up with Space Fox Mulder in “Riddles” the Tuvix sequel you never wanted. Is this episode ‘good-ish’, noble in its attempt to further the Snarf-Tuvok bromance? Or is it garbage where Tim Russ does the thing Robert Downey Jr. always warns you not to do?
Your podcast heroes console themselves in the knowledge they have better friends in their lives than Tom Paris ever did as they review "Alice". It's a ripoff of a Stephen King novel and its stupid as hell, but that's our jam!
Your podcast heroes do a deep dive on 'bizzaro Galaxy Quest' - better known to you as "Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy". We examine why the Voyager writers direct their dislike of Trek fans into literal fat neckbeard Doctor Who aliens who say 'acktualy' while geeking out, and enjoy an episode filled with butt touching.
Your podcast heroes are subjected to a heaping helping of Klingon mysticism as they partake of "Barge of the Damned", RDM's final Voyager entry. It's déjà vu all over again as we get our 5th or 6th episode about B'Elanna not liking being Klingon. How many times do we have to do this? Is this our podcast hell?
The Voyager Party Bus rolls up to the Good Times Space Station for some fun open house pizza parties, but suddenly Seven of Nine's embarrassing friends from Borg Camp drop in! Stay with us as we discuss character growth, more Ron Moore, and Voyager's history of near misses.
Your podcast heroes launch themselves into Season 6 with a review of "Equinox, Part 2"! We do some good ol' fashioned script doctoring while we try and fix this B- episode, vibe on that big Ron Moore Energy, and wonder why disabling the EMH's ethics does not turn him to a Turbo Murder Lon-bot.
Previously a Patreon exclusive, enjoy Joseph and Peter's review of the best Trek movie ever made - Galaxy Quest - and the recent 'Never Surrender' documentary. Your podcast heroes discuss the gentle greatness of the film, it's uplifting comment on fandom, and how things have changed since then.
Your podcast heroes review the season-that-was from the highs of "Timeless" and "Bride of Chaotica" to the briny depths of "Thirty Days" and "Dark Frontier". What were the best episodes? The worst? Who got the coveted Space Boddicker Award for Best Guest Character? Tune in and find out!
Your podcast heroes finally reach the end of Season 5 and review "Equinox", all about a little ship filled with That Guys and is definitely not sacrificing UwU Space Kittens so they can make more Go Juice to get home. These guys are totally legit! Honest!
Are you ready for B'Elanna Vs. Evil AI Part 3: Tokyo Drift? You better be because we are reviewing "Warhead" a story about a bomb if it were played by an excellent TV actor. We marvel at how Voyager crew members are doomed never to remember why AI as bad because the writing is bad or they all got Space TBIs.
We are both here, there, and everywhere as we review "Relativity" - the story of tragic 29th Century fashion, major That Guy energy, and the lowest energy phaser fight this side of the Temporal Prime Directive. Can we keep our tenses straight as we discuss our best Voyager episode in weeks? Listen and find out!
So we think Netflix got confused or something because we went to watch the next Voyager episode - "11:59" - and then this weird Lifetime movie came on instead. I guess it had Kate Mulgrew in it though? At least our expertise about winter in Middle America was finally relevant!
Count how many times Peter sighs in contempt of this week's episode, "Someone To Watch Over Me". Joseph proves himself a sucker for anything remotely associated with My Fair Lady and we spend 20 minutes talking about the most 90's of movies.
Slather up those biceps and don your finest tank top, we are going garbage diving this week in "Juggernaut"! It's B'Elanna's turn to her best Ripley cosplay as we get the 867th episode about her anger issues and Roxann Dawson gets all the millage out of those push-ups.
The UPN rolls out the fat, Seinfeld sized checks to score their biggest (in context) guest star in "Think Tank". Watch as George Constanza himself is perfectly adequate in an episode where Peter loses his mind over a single line of dialogue.
A-koo-chee-moya to us all as we grab our flutes and hand vibrators for another ride on the Chuck O'Tay Backstory Train to Oblivion. Everyone's favorite pacifist terrorist is using his Dream Warrior powers once again ... and its terrible!
Experience Peter’s raw anger in its most pure form as he conveys his feelings about “Course: Oblivion”, all while Joseph eats popcorn and reminds him of his pain. Is director Anson Williams the most masochistic Trek person? Did we secretly watch a PG Saw movie? It’s painful…but is it great?
Enjoy this audio replay of this week's livestream! We dive deep on Voyager Season 5, who the best crew member is based on friendship ability, and wonder who the heck Lower Decks is really for.
Harry Kim gets to swap spit with the epitome of the ‘90’s Scifi Hottie’ as we head boldly into our review of "The Disease”! Your podcast heroes discover how bad Garrett Wang can be as we hear about all the Starfleet regulations that were invented in the wake of Will Riker’s Alpha Quadrant potency.
Your heroes tackle "Dark Frontier" - one of the most pivotal and divisive episodes of Voyager’s run. In a supersized episode we discuss everything wrong with the Hansen parenting choices, the degradation of the Borg into C-tier villains, and the appearance of the new Clownshoes Queen. It’s a supersized episode, because so were our takes!
That guy who does all the best video game narrations helps Seven of Nine hunt an evil (?) space whale in "Bliss"! When the Trap Queen does what shes does best, it's up to the cyborg to shoot up her workplace and team up with an annoying child to save the day! It's mostly fine I guess!
Voyager suffers the astonishing and rare loss of a shuttlecraft as it provides "Gravity", the episode that Interstellar was clearly ripped off of. Thankfully, Nolan skipped over the part where the A plot is Tank Girl falling in love with a logic robot who is getting the worst advice from a charmless convict.
Prepare your old-timey radio voices and charge your ray guns, your podcast heroes are reviewing "Bride of Chaotica!" This week, Tom goes full metagamer, Janeway shows total in-character commitment, and Neelix gets the job he was born for.
Your podcast heroes make a triumphant return from with a review of "Latent Image". The EMH deals with an epic Blue Screen of Death to date as he tries to cope with a tragic question - does picking Harry over the Super 90's Chick make him a Real Boy?
Lace up those jackboots and prepare the high collars, as Voyager tangles with it's 872nd group of Delta Quadrant Space Fascists in "Counterpoint"! Kathy gets a kiss good enough to go back for seconds, and Peter is rooting for this one...but will Jay Leno Chin's lack of charisma doom this love voyage?
We watch Bad Boy Tom do the hardest time there is as we review “Thirty Days”. Voyager goes full Saved by the Bell to explain why Tom is suddenly the resident Seaquest DSV superfan, but some A+ special effects and Delaney Sisters cameos later, it’s prison time well spent!
We visit with our least favorite writer/producer one final time as we watch "Nothing Human", which is ANOTHER 'Dr. Space Mengele' rehash. Witness as Joseph and Peter experience a peak Jeri Taylor installment as a good idea is wasted on terrible writing. Farewell Ms. Taylor, we won't miss you!
Another day, another chance for Janeway to screw over the entire Delta Quadrant as we review "Infinite Regress". Jeri Ryan turns her Acting Shields to maximum as she takes over the episode with a smile, but are the real victims the Tron Turds? Of course they are!
Break out the Vulcan children’s choir because your podcast heroes are finally reviewing “Timeless”, an episode so good it forgives the director for inventing Detective Tuvok. Every trope gets flipped on its head when Harry Kim is hard as nails, Chakotay is the one doing the co-opting, and it’s not even a total bottle episode! What strange wonders we have behold!
Your podcast heroes are assigned the responsibility of reviewing “Once Upon a Time”, creating a house divided. Can Joseph convince Peter that it was worth it to wade through bad child acting and C- effort from Ensign Mom Hair so you could get to some quality Space Cat Freakouts?
Our favorite first officer turns up the charm to 11 for a hot date with Space Mewtwo Ellen Tigh for "In The Flesh"! In the most underrated crazytown episode Voyager ever produced, we suddenly find out...Species 8472 are totally reasonable and also like to bone? Wait really?
Prepare your sweat glands for the Force 5 intensity of a B'Elanna episode as the boys review "Extreme Risk". Don your Scale Mail HALO jump gear and prep yourself for D- plot lovingly papered over by B+ character development (and plenty of shots showing off those sweet '98 Voyager post-gym bods).
Your podcast heroes deal with a certified stinker ad they review Drone, featuring Worst Janeway, Seven the Real Girl, and a special guest star that looks like a Power Rangers villain crossed with Niles Crane. It's terrible!
Ops! Tactical! Helm! Engineering! Medbay! By your powers combined, Voyager ventures into the Brannon Braga era with "Night". Your podcast heroes enjoy 25 minutes of deep character development and innovative camera moves followed up by the worst episode of Captain Planet you never saw. It's...great?
Enjoy this recording of our livestream! Your podcast heroes reflect on the season-that-was and hand out their famous End of Season Awards!
Your podcast heroes experience Voyager at a level of unfathomable self-awareness as they review the Season 4 finale, “Hope and Fear”! We crack wise about Ray Wise, marvel at Glock Frisbee, and cheer from the cheap seats as someone finally tells Janeway that deals with Robot Zombies are bad!
Your podcast heroes are happy to self-isolate with the well-timed review of "One" - the Voyager episode you needed after two weeks alone! Is our return-to-Voyager honeymoon already wearing off as we once again deal with a 'hey look Seven of Nine is becoming a person' story? Strap in for ALL the budget savings!
Enjoy this super sized return to the Delta Quadrant as your podcast heroes celebrate 100 episodes (and the comforting dulcet tones of Voyager) with assistance from Mike and Tarran from Hail and Well Met! Is "Demon" good? Is it bad? Listen and find out...but know one thing for sure - it's sure as heck Star Trek!
Previously only for download to our Patron supporters, we present the best episode we have ever done - the review of the fantastic TNG XXX Parody! Listen with reverence as Peter and Joseph marvel at the plot continuity, acting chops, and formulaic nature of 20 minute sex scenes.
Your podcast heroes finally cash it in and head back to the Delta Quadrant - but not before Picard spits out one more C- entry for them to digest! Joseph and Peter discuss Borg OSHA violations, Rios being The Most Spanish, and the best Voyager callback of them all.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Also, this episode sucked, too. Please help us.
Your podcast heroes start to wonder of Picard's writers have any idea what Star Trek looks like as they endure the adventures of the Normandy SR-1 with Discount Malcolm Reynolds and Sort of Jean-Luc. This week they recruit a ronin Space Elf ninja from a secret sect of Romulan samurai nuns. No really. That actually happens.
How much can a single nerd yell? Find out this week with your podcast heroes as Joseph loses his cool and Peter regrets all his choices that led him to this moment. We promise you one thing though - this podcast is assured to be better than Michelle Hurd's acting!
Hope turns to pain and joy turns to misery as your podcast heroes tackle "Maps and Legends". Watch as Joseph and Peter slog through a terrible hour of Romulan Very Special Forces technobable, Admiral Grandma saying bad words, and enough bad writing to shake a Kurtzman at.
Your podcast heroes finish their epic discussion of Star Trek: Picard's premiere! "Remembrance" reaches it's apex as they pull out all the retro stops! Data's got ninja kids that love doing Black Widow fight moves! Bruce Maddox is involved! PREPARE FOR A CLASS 9 NOSTALGIA STORM!
Join your podcast heroes as they tackle the explosive premiere of "Star Trek: Picard"! Stick with us as we marvel at the sudden return of fashion sense in the late 24th Century, discuss the finer points of Romulan ninjas AND haircuts, and wonder how it is that journalism in the far future is somehow...still a TV interview.
Your podcast heroes don their strangler gloves and gym teacher haircuts to tackle "Living Witness"! Bizzaro World Voyager is staffed by such crazy figures as a cyborg doctor and a Harry Kim that is intimidating. What will The EMH do when confronted by this weird LARP nonsense?
Your podcast heroes run up against the budget-friendly adventures of "Visa a Vi", a love story so forgetful, the characters can't even remember it! Charles O'Tay has smitten a handsome, elflike alien who thirsts for First Officer D. Can Joseph and Peter remember this one long enough to record a full hour?
Another day, another Season 4 episode where your podcast heroes cope with an underbaked premise and way too much Seven of Nine. Will Joseph get sucked in to defending it because of some ham-handed god talk? Listen and find out!
Voyager engages in it's favorite fetish as Joseph and Peter review "Vis a Vi"! Wrap your hands around this engaging episode about body swaps and finding happiness in your life, while the Voyager writers strangle the life out of the premise with a rushed ending. In the end, does it gasp for life or is all the fun strangled out of it?
Your podcast heroes wrap up "The Killing Game" with the most underbaked second half in Voyager's history. Listen as Joseph and Peter try desperately to fill time after they run out of things to say about an episode that is just an excuse for Klingons to fight Nazis.
Your podcast heroes settle into some comfortable ideas when they discuss "Killing Game, Part 1", the episode about Hirogen's taking their role-playing just a touch too far. Join Joseph and Peter as they discuss who might have cheated points onto their character sheet!
This week, our podcast heroes hunt for the comedy in "Prey" a story about a large man and his Space Mewtwo gone wrong! What will happen with Captain Janeway encounters an enemy she thought so horrific she supported the Borg over them?!?! Oh...she...helps it? Huh. Sure. That makes sense.
The Voyager crew struggles to get it's dial-up connection to Starfleet to work while dealing with the arrival of their new best buddies, the Space Banes! Will the letters from home contain anything but pure, uncut depression? Join your podcast heroes to find out as we review "Hunters"!
Raise the shields and secure the bulkheads, as Voyager encounters a Class Nine Dick Storm! We review "Message in a Bottle", a critical entry in the show's continuity, which in no way is held back by the presence of NewsRadio's fourth best actor.
What do you do when you are fresh off an episode that, despite all odds, uses one of your token minority character’s backgrounds to mature and useful effect? Make “Waking Moments” and turn him into a superpower having Dream Warrior, of course! Join your podcast heroes as they cope with this baffling turn into our Dream Prison except we are awake and hate it.
Celebrate a classic Alpha Quadrant Halloween with your podcast heroes with Voyager’s spooookiest episode to date! We review “Mortal Coil”, which was supposed to be about Zombie Mom Wildman but turned into a surprisingly deep meditation on Neelix confronting that…there may be no Space Cat God? And Commander Chuck O’Tay is the MVP? Wait, what?
Buckle up and prepare to fly into the danger zone this week! Somehow, some way your podcast heroes managed to talk about "Concerning Flight" - an episode about Captian Janeway risking the ship to enjoy some LARP fantasy time with Gimli, Son of Gloin - for an hour. We deserve a medal for this. We are the best and you don't appreciate us enough.
Your podcast heroes dive deep this week into "Random Thoughts", an episode that is either about drug dealing or sweaty Grindr hookups depending on which of the hosts you ask. One thing is for sure though - your view of filthy space cat foreplay will never be the same!
Your podcast heroes reach the thrilling conclusion of “The Year of Hell” and dig deep on the real questions – exactly how time crazy is Space Boddicker? Does character development count in a bottle episode? Is Tom Paris the galaxy’s best jailbird? Most importantly, when will Janeway blow the ship up?
Your podcast heroes ride the space-time shockwave into "Year of Hell, Part 1" and begin their epic discussion on what many belive to be Voyager's best episodes. When a angry timelord Space Boddicker tries to give a reality a little nip and tuck, only Voyager can save the day! Can Seven of Nine's amazing Crisis Grooming see the crew through these troubled times?
Listen in wonder as your podcast heroes diset "Scientific Method", featuring the very best abuse of Federation technology for shady workplace hookups you well ever see on Star Trek. Come for the bad romance, stay for the maximum Tuvok sass!
The 24th Century sets new records for terrible parenting as your podcast heroes review “The Raven”, the story of Seven of Nine’s worst birthday ever. Will her trusty pal Emotional Support Tuvok be able to help her unravel the mystery before the Cleveland Bromars ineffectively attempt to stop them?
Your podcast heroes delve into the depths of “Revulsion”, which describes out feelings about Harry/Seven sexytime perfectly. Thankfully there is a much more interesting half of the episode where B’Elanna gets beat up by rogue AI again, but we swear it’s cool this time.
The world’s least effective terrorist/passible first officer gets dropped into the middle of a discount Predator knock-off in “Nemesis”. Listen as Joseph attempt to copy the episode’s premise by inciting a homicidal rage in Peter by speaking as much as possible in sing song-y alien pig latin! If this is our last episode, now you know why.
Your podcast heroes end up discussing some huge tracks of land after the Voyager writers give us very little choice with "Day of Honor". Forced to deal with an episode with equal parts bad Tom/B'Elanna melodrama and gratuitous Jeri Ryan booty shots, Joseph and Peter do the only sane thing...they start discussing which each character's Saved by the Bell parallel is.
Your podcast heroes stand at attention and provide Kes a hearty salute as they watch “The Gift”. It has nothing on choose your own adventure coworker murder simulators, but Joseph and Peter do everything they can to breakdown the Mayfly Space Elf’s rise to scouter breaking power levels.
Want to play Jack’s awesome game? Try it here: https://dhakajack.itch.io/harrys-run?fbclid=IwAR1r7Y1wKyGtrUSTczVNdDWsWjczYEVyusqPrd729g1ql-x2NmkyTDJS5K0
Many thanks to Noelle for her shoutout as well: https://noellevivante.podbean.com/e/star-trek-voyager-podcasts/?fbclid=IwAR21v_BjaX95DBa0Vl7iDFEL0wPabhchQ2vPua2P3nwgdL-8s8blepLlMEw
The hateful journey launches into Season 4 of Voyager as Joseph and Peter review "Scorpion, Part 2"! Will the Bad CGI Meanies continue to mildly annoy our heroes? Will Janeway's genocidal choices ever be justified? Are they really going to have Seven of Nine's intro be a WWE ring entrance?
Joseph and Peter break down the best and the worst of Season 3 of Star Trek: Voyager! What was the worst episode? The best? Who will take home the most coveted awards of the year?
Your podcast heroes continue their epic discussion of "Scorpion, Part 1", focusing in on an elemental truth - Janeway may think giving replicators to the Kazon is bad, but giving WMD's to the Borg is fantastic! When the whole of the galaxy is in ashes due to her hubris, will she be reviled the scourge of all life she truly is?
Your podcast heroes finally reach the moment of truth – Voyager encountering the Borg (for real this time)! More importantly though, they encounter Voyager’s terrible writing staff encountering Trek’s greatest villain. Do they do it justice? The show is 23 years old, you already know they don’t! PART 1 of 2
Your podcast heroes confront their own origin story as they enjoy “Worst Case Scenario”, perhaps the most meta episode Voyager ever provides. Joseph and Peter celebrate the return of the Queen herself and discuss the implication of playing holodeck video games where you commit treason and kill your friends.
What ever will happen to Voyager as they get..slowly invaded by..old people in hobo pope hats? Your podcast heroes suffer through a typical D+ outing longing for a version of this episode with Lon Suder killing elderly space people.
Life finds a way, and so do your podcast heroes as they navigate "Distant Origin"! After super evolved dino people find the remains of Maquis all-star Hogan, Voyager deals with the true villain - ham-handed writers trying to force an episode about evolution.
Deep takes on Better Call Saul casting synergy and Vulcan racial slurs abound as Joseph and Peter tackle “Real Life”. Can the EMH’s version of Space My Three Sons recover from B’Elanna turning it into weapons grade tragedy porn? Emotional devastation strikes both your podcast heroes as they determine the depth of holographic suffering.
This week, your podcast heroes confront the well-loved “TBefore and After”, an episode of Voyager by way of a PG rated Kurt Vonnegut. Between Captain Chakotay, the EMH with hair, and annoying child actors this one throws the kitchen sink at you – but can any of us truly comprehend the bizarre bedroom life of Harry Kim at this point?
Can any Starfleet technology overcome the raw power of Harry Kim’s raw sexual energy? Most certainly the answer is ‘no’ as Joseph and Peter tackle “Favorite Son”. Witness a plotline as old as literature itself – evil female temptresses – enhanced by space trucker crank, more Better Call Saul actors, and Harry Kim managing to drag his mother into his alien sex dreams.
Your podcast heroes watch the most oddly compelling elevator ride in history as they watch “Rise”. In the second part of the so-called ‘Trilogy of Terror’, Joseph and Peter cope with the odd sensation that…uh…this is actually good? Is it because the ripped the plot off of Starship Troopers? Do we have Snarf Snarf Stockholm Syndrome? What is going on?
Your podcast heroes return with a werewolf overbite and a bad attitude to review "Darkling". Can the thug life stylings of Bobby P's Sith Lord turn make up for some bad 'love story' plotting and the not-Bajoran space truckers?
Listen as Joseph and Peter talk Voyager Season 3 thus far, general Trek topics, and take audience questions!
This week’s installment bring Joseph and Peter to “Unity”, an episode about the nicest cult/neighborhood watch council this side of the Nekrid Expanse! With Chakotay take the sexytime Borg Scientology bait? Will Careless Whisper Saxophone continue to haunt Peter’s nightmares?
True alien lust is in the air as your podcast heroes review "Blood Fever", yet another episode that required Roxann Dawson to act both sweaty and horny. The episode itself had its ups and downs, but can Peter survive the 'special enhancements' Joseph brought for the occasion?
Observe as your podcast heroes digest the impossible enigma that is "Coda", an episode so confused that it needs its own episode of Unsolved Mysteries to explain it's existence. Can Joseph save Peter from his terrible opinion and convince him it's total garbage? Listen and find out!
Your podcast heroes return from spring break to talk about “Alter Ego”, the holographic sex party scandal that rocked the Delta Quadrant! Will Tuvok both steal the girl AND manage to be the emotional lead of an episode without it being a horrid bore?
Joyful laughter fill your airways as your podcast heroes dig into "Fair Trade", the most unexpectedly good Snarf Snarf episode you could ever hope for. Everyone's favorite filthy space cat gets caught up in his old criminal ways when a figure from his past gets him caught up in dealing Space Meth, and Joseph and Peter explore a Voyager installment that represents the promise of the show we rarely get.
Captian Janeway upholds her right to bear arms (and bare arms) as your podcast heroes watch ‘Macrocosom’. After Voyager comes down with a case of CG prolapsed buttholes, will the heroic captain be successful in her UPN level budget bug hunt? Only a certified Federation sex den can help her out this time!
At last, your podcast heroes have found it – the very worst episode of Voyager (so far). Listen as Joseph and Peter lament the existence of “The Q and the Grey”, an episode replete with cartoon character level depth for a race of eternal, near-omnipotent beings. Don’t you love Space Loki reduced to getting clowned by Tom Paris?
Your podcast heroes find themselves in their element as they discuss “Warlord”. Are the adventures of Evil Sexy Vampire Cat Kes the best episode of the season so far? This hour long meeting of the Unexpected Jennifer Lien Fan Club certainly have something to say about it.
Join your podcast heroes as they struggle to digest “Future’s End, Part 2”. Tuvok makes suspicious dietary choices, the show’s worst villain to date somehow gets even more boring, and Joseph and Peter wind up arguing about an unrelated 2012 sci-fi movie for half the podcast run time. Witness us deal with an episode so lame, even Sarah Silverman’s abs workout regimen couldn’t save it!
Enjoy this audio replay of your podcast heroes as they take some Trek deep dives into topics they couldn't get to in regular episodes. The nerd hot takes run deep as we discuss time travel, the impending arrival of Seven of Nine, and the foreign policy implication of Federation membership.
Your podcast heroes see Voyager’s bridge crew fail at basic temporal crisis management as they blunder into one crisis after the next to stop Generic Evil Bill Gates. Will a plucky, pre-famous Sarah Silverman (yes, really) be able to save the day? Strap yourself as Joseph and Peter review the most 90’s episode of Voyager that ever was!
After everyone’s favorite Mayfly Space Elf tourist takes a wrong turn into the local underworld portal, our podcast heroes find themselves divided on “Sacred Ground”. Is the episode a relatively well written exploration of an otherwise scientific mind having to accept a journey based on faith? Or a schlocky nonsense fest that breaks existing characters to tell a dumb story? Give a listen and judge for yourself!
This week, observe as your podcast heroes wade through "Remember"! What will happen when Senator Bob Kelly, Chip from Who's Line is it Anyway, and Lt. Eva Lee from C&C: Red Alert 2 run face first into B'Elanna doing kinky alien sex cosplay? Fascism and genocide of course!
Start your New Year off on the right foot and listen to Joseph and Peter tackle 'False Profits' ! Your podcast heroes dissect the most unlikely of sequel episodes, packed to the brim with two Ferengi jabronis running the hottest of game all up in Voyager's business. Are these two D-list antagonists really going to screw up a direct wormhole home with their 6th grade level buffoonery?
Those Podcast Boys are at it again as they review “The Swarm”! Joseph and Peter enjoy a doctor recommended ‘Doctor Episode’, complete with solid Picardo performance(s) while trying to fend off a terrible B-plot of the Voyager coyotes trying to beat the border patrol. Is Robby P a good enough actor to play two roles AND save the rest of the episode from Janeway’s Bad Idea Express? You know he is!
Harry Kim has some HBO level adventures as Joseph and Peter review ‘The Chute’, Voyager’s holiday season apology for subjecting us to such garbage the last few weeks. Wonder how all these stabbings got by the network sensors as your podcast heroes question if this episode might have been enhanced by Solid Suder bringing Pipe Justice to Hobo Prison.
This week we take a trip down the memory lane that no one wanted! Joseph seethes and Peter snarks as they review “Flashback”, an episode that taught Joseph the true meaning of disappointment. I really hope you guys like a lot of talk about the C-plot from a movie from 1991!
A Star Trek: Voyager podcast to surpass Metal Gear?!?! It’s true folks, Joseph and Peter are back with Season 3! Does this secret mission through Trek’s most unloved child meet with a strong start, or does the writing staff trip the very first alarm at the helipad? It’s not like the producers would kill off the two best storylines they had going in the very first episode…right…RIGHT?
Your podcast heroes finally confront Voyager’s most infamous entry – an episode consider so bad, scientific papers have been written about it – “Threshold” . Come join Joseph and Peter as the journey through Bad Boy Tom’s adventure through breaking physics, terrible sick bay protocol, Snarf Snarf’s inspirational feats, and the best genre breaking fan fiction we could come up with to explain the absolutely insane ending. But is it truly the worst episode of Star Trek ever made? Well…about that…
Listen in as Joseph and Peter reflect on the season-that-was and hand out their 'awards'. What were the worst civilian outfits? What about the OSHA Medal of Valor? Listen and find out!
At long last, Joseph and Peter (almost) finish Season 2 of Voyager. Chakotay has baby daddy issues and Janeway volunteers the ship to fall into ALL the traps! Does the Queen reign supreme? Are we going to get Tactical Espionage Action from Murder Lon? Hide the children AND the pipes, it's time for a cliffhanger!
Witness as Joseph and Peter discuss "Resolutions", an episode featuring the Tuvok's civilian clothes straight from Outworld, Commander Neckbeard attempting to impress his m'lady, and lots of Ensign Kim whining. Does 25 seconds of cool space combat make up for all of it? Listen and find out!
Your podcast heroes confront Voyager’s most controversial entry and consequently descend into angry yelling. Is Tuvix’s genitalia situation as much a horror show as his hair? Why can’t 24th century spacemen make their own tacos? And most importantly why did the writers of this godforsaken show think it was cool to make everyone a murder monster for the last 11 minutes?
The episode that launched a thousand memes is upon Joseph and Peter as the try to comprehend the impossible. How many ICP jokes is too many? How is it that “Better Call Saul’s” best actor is in this? What 90’s song does the mind dungeon sex party remind YOU of? Why is this episode even happening?
You can learn a lot from television! Life lessons about parenting, bad yodeling, terrible 'high speed' chases, the list is endless. This week, Joseph and Peter learned not to watch "Innocence" unless you want to see some buster-ass space Charles in Charge featuring the only character that can make babysitting on an alien planet fucking boring as hell.
Your podcast heroes don their Fender guitars and descend into the darkest, blackest metal version of Voyager as they review “Deadlock”. Which Voyager will survive? Do Vidiians eat babies? Is Janeway going to make out with herself? Can Harry Kim find his own frozen-in-space corpse? Only the most brutal questions await us!
The Delta Quadrant’s most unlikely detective journalist is on the case this week as Joseph and Peter wade through “Investigations”. Listen as Joseph tries to convince Peter he has Voyager Stockholm Syndrome as Peter attempts to defend an episode with Hanna Barbara level villainy, Harry Kim’s filthy lies, and fight sequence featuring the deadliest pipes in the universe.
Your podcast heroes stabilize their journey through the Delta Quadrant with the best possible medicine – the EMH episode. Joseph and Peter squeeze in their jokes between thought provoking and emotional scenes. Does Robert Picardo go for gold? You already know the answer!
Bonus content from Joseph and Peter as they discuss Voyager/Trek topic ranging from how badly written the Prime Directive is to the dark rabbit hole of erotic Trek Fan Fiction!
The original sin of Voyager rears its head at last as your podcast heroes deal with "Death Wish". John De Lancie might be a delight, but is it enough to overcome the huge plot holes and bad writing that surrounds him? Is his charm enough to make up for the charisma black hole that is the other guest star? Spoiler Alert: Probably not!
The worst designed super-weapon in the galaxy threatens some random dudes as your podcast heroes suffer through the worst kind of bad - 'boring bad'. Witness the thrills as B'Elanna talks to...herself. Big Tom is...late to a meeting. Ensign Wildman is...still pregnant. YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR WHOLE SEAT, AND YOU WILL USE ALL OF IT TO TAKE A NAP.
It's Bad Decision Day on Voyager as your podcast heroes review "Meld"! Joseph and Peter meander through revelations of a legit serial killer in space, Vulcans knowing kung fu (and saying hurtful things), and Commander No Fun breaking up Big Tom's gambling ring. One thing is for sure though - Tuvok didn't have a flowchart when he needed it the most.
Your podcast heroes get all the K-mart Klingon backstory and all at once as they grapple with "Alliances". As Joseph and Peter wade through a densely packed 44 minutes of skeezy Kazon bars, Burn Queen interludes, and shifty Maquis coworkers they ask the most critical question of all...where was New Jack Neelix when you needed him most?
Your podcast heroes hot streak of good Voyager episodes comes to a screeching halt as they digest “Prototype”, an entry with all the narrative subtlety of a bat with nails in it. Not even Our Lord and Frakes can save us as we witness one of the most baffling choices ever made in makeup and costuming we have ever seen. Inventive camera work can’t save you this time Jonathan!
When the Warp Core starts itching for Space Crack Rock, Voyager turns to the one man who can score them the goods – Snarf Snarf in a glorious pimp coat. Witness your podcast heroes complete a hat trick of quality episodes, admire a fantastic guest actor performance, and more importantly behold the transformation of the most annoying crew member into the most hard core gangster on this side of the Delta Quadrant.
Your podcast heroes react to the big news that Sir Patrick Stewart is returning to his iconic role. Given how hard in the paint these two aging nerds are for TNG, what is their hot take? Spend 20 minutes finding out!
Your podcast heroes enjoy a winning streak with two quality Voyager episodes in a row, thanks to the reappearance of The Queen Herself! Joseph and Peter revel with their hateful kindred spirit as Seska manages to do the impossible by making both K-Mart Klingon diplomacy and Chakotay backstory info interesting and entertaining. Can this quality continue? Probably not, but we will enjoy it while it lasts.
A welcome return to joy and sanity comes at the hands of an all-too-rare quality episode of Voyager! Joseph and Peter give you a jumbo sized episode filed with their takes on “Cold Fire”, a solid reminder of how good the show can be when it delivers on its premise effectively. Are you in the mood for an hour and a half of funny Trek analysis combined with the most unlikely of Phil Collins references? I hope so, because that is what you are getting!
The tell-tale flute of doom stalks your podcast heroes as they confront the darkest foe of all – the Chakotay backstory episode. Can you keep a straight face as Joseph and Peter confront the grim reality that comes with terrible performances, atrocious makeup, and writing so bad that the phrase ‘rubber tree people’ gets used multiple times? At least we get to watch Snarf Snarf get beat up by a hawk, right? Please make it stop.
This week, your podcast heroes encounter a Voyager episode that tries to be half Space Madness, half an episode of Ryan’s Hope and try to understand if it was decent or not. Joseph is convinced “Persistence of Vision” was bad, with its Terrible Janeway Decisions and an underwritten soap opera plot, but Peter is so desperate for a quality episode he tries to defend it! Has Peter finally gotten Voyager Stockholm Syndrome? One thing is for sure – this is the episode to watch for a lot of sweet stage kissing action.
This week, your podcast heroes are confronted with evidence of the existence of a just and benevolent god – and that god is Jonathan Frakes! Against all odds, an episode focusing on Snarf Snarf and Tommy the Bad Boy talking about relationship jealousy and space lizard alien babies is…good? Mostly good? What did we just watch and how was it not terrible? The answer lies in your faith in The Frakes!
While reviewing an episode that is akin to staring into the Mouth of Madness, your podcast heroes scavenge for hot takes. How do you discuss an episode that is 60% made up inane conversation? Do we discuss Snarf Snarf’s inept cake baking skills? The emerging replicator black market head cannon? Maybe the absolutely insulting ending that felt more like a parody then science fiction? Listen and find out how low we sink!
Your podcast heroes get back into the swing of things with the best kind of bad episode - the Harry Kim time warp special! Come join us on a tour de force of Garrett Wang's very worst acting. Watch in amazement as he fails to deliver on any convincing emotion, witness laughably bad actions scenes, and consider that yet again the Voyager writers waste a good idea with bad execution.
Our world is a speck, adrift in a vast and uncaring universe. Your podcast heroes felt this dark reality when they were forced to watch 'Elogium' and then try and find some way to talk about it for your amusement. To you find pain funny? Does the anguished resignation of two nerds in their mid 30's bring you joy? Then behold our dread revelation.
After weeks of suffering, Jonathan Frakes swoops in to deliver onto your podcast heroes a desperately needed respite! In what is unabashedly the best episode of VOY they have seen to date, Joseph and Peter take a nerdy deep dive into The EMH’s adventures with everyone’s favorite socially awkward TNG side character. Don’t worry though – Peter still manages to find a way to share some disturbing information he once found on 4chan.
Your podcast heroes recoil in horror as a Chakotay episodes stares them down with “Initiations”…but suddenly Aron Eisenberg shows up with two tickets to the Kazon Gun Show and things are looking up! Can some decent backstory on the Kmart Klingons overcome the baleful touch of an episode filled to the brim with the most inconsistent characterization of a main character you will find on episodic television? After the mind numbing experience of "The 37's", what can the answer possibly be?
Your podcast heroes get off of to a terrible start on Season Two, suffering through the bizarre “The 37’s”. In an adventure even Tackleberry couldn’t save, Joseph and Peter witness a mish-mash of weird ideas crafted into a true disaster that eclipses all that came before it. What was wrong with the writers on this show? What is wrong with us for still doing this? Come join us for a journey where the haunting reality of another 140 episodes of Voyager never felt more crushing!
Join your podcast heroes as they reflect on the season-that-was in this replay of our RIP Season One livestream special! Joseph and Peter hand out their end of season 'awards', answer questions from the audience, and otherwise belittle each other’s opinions. Are you tired of Joseph defending “Emanations”? Then you really shouldn’t listen to this!
Your podcast heroes at last reach the end of their weary Voyager season one journey, but run face first into a terrible, discount version of show TNG did so much better. Watch as a perfectly good premise is wasted on Tuvok and the Maquis Breakfast Club and Snarf Snarf manages to mess the entire ship up with cheese! We are not making this up! It’s as terrible as it sounded! THEY ENDED THE SEASON ON THIS!
The dreaded ‘Snarf Snarf episode’ plagues your podcast heroes this week as the impresario of the Space Hobo Kitchen deals with a potentially deadly illness and Joseph and Peter are forced to watch. Surprisingly great performances ensue, but can the writers pull off a heavy episode filled with real world allegories, PTSD, weapons of mass destruction, and the ever-present specter of death? Sadly, you already know the answer.
The Voyager makeup department clocks some serious OT as the Vidiians rear their rotting heads this week and Peter and Joseph analyze "Faces". Are the Vidiians a subtly written race of intriguingly limited-yet-evil villans or a bunch of dumb, badly written neckbeards? One thing is for sure though - this is an episode where we ALL do it for the nookie.
What do you when you your first officer gets put in a coma from Brain Eating Eating Space Hombres living in a nebula from the wrong side of the tracks? If you are Captain Janeway, you drive your ship right into it…but not before getting a sharp haircut! Your podcast heroes try to make sense an episode filled with paranoia, plot holes, a top notch fight scene, and the sloppiest ending we have seen yet. Come join us on this roller coaster of emotion!
The first of the infamous Voyager holodeck episodes rears its photonic head this week, and your podcast heroes digest the journey to a cross between the Ren Faire if it were staffed by regional LA theater actors. Is “Heroes and Demons” a worthy episode filled with choice EMH LARPing? Come find out as we drop hot takes on the ‘does the transporter kill you’ debate and discuss a grand revelation about a character that isn’t on the show for six or seven minutes.
Despite the best efforts of a random subspace temporal shard, your podcast heroes watch an episode that is like a game whodunit, except you already know who did it. IT’S THRILLING! More importantly we discuss mayfly space elf power levels, weaponized Vulcan ball stank, and what the show could have been vs. what it is.
Once again your podcast heroes stand divided – but now the tables have turned! Peter calls “Prime Factors” the best episode he has seen so far, but is his love of personal horror blinding him to the weird sex criminal aliens (led by Jeff Goldblum’s eastern European cousin) , another obnoxious alien wardrobe, and weak Janeway writing? Can Joseph convince him to see the error of his ways? One thing is for sure though – Harry Kim is never going to get laid in the Delta Quadrant at this rate.
In a V’Ger Please first, Joseph and Peter stand on opposite sides on this week’s episode! Was “Emanations” a flawed but still thoughtful episode on faith, or was it terrible schlock garbage that failed to provide the spider monster dungeon crawl is so desperately needed? Two podcasters enter, but only one can leave…keep your Federation Raise Dead scrolls handy for this battle royale!
Much to the regret of your podcast heroes, this week Voyager returned to terrible, terrible form! Listen as Joseph and Peter slog through a miserable attempt at film noir that manages to be the worst kind of bad…painfully boring. Don’t worry though; we set a record for curse words by simply trying to describe this week’s poorly designed alien races! Come as we enjoy an episode even LaVar Burton couldn’t save.
In the nick of time, your podcast heroes get a reprieve with a quality episode to review! Watch as they are amazed by good story structure, excellent performances, and narrative tension! As the hate gets dialed down for a week, Joseph and Peter replace it with long discussions about artificial intelligence, holodeck technology, and the latest in Peter’s Replicator Plot Hole Saga.
Your podcast heroes face their toughest test yet as the go up against four terrible B plots masquerading as an ‘episode’ of Voyager. We endure predictable space problems, Harry Kim’s deep-seeded psychological issues, Space Snarf Snarf appetizer service on the bridge during a red alert, and the best accidental racism about Native Americans 90’s TV can provide! Come for the discussion on 24th century drug use, but stay for a treasure trove of Tom Paris sex crimes!
The very best and worst of Voyager come together in an episode that has both of your podcast heroes alternatively horrified and enraged. Witness Peter’s dedication to identifying sets being reused, British overacting in heavy makeup, all the Space Snarf Snarf medical drama tropes you never wanted, and our spicy hot takes on Janeway being the best while also being the absolute worst.
This week, your podcast heroes endure the Voyager producers pulling off the rare feat of reusing a plot only three episodes into their run. It takes real talent to rip yourself off this quickly! Voyager encounters another time fart, and only Horny Tom and Captain Janeway can convince an alien race with the worst fashion sense in the quadrant not to accidentally blow themselves up. It’s completely terrible, so come enjoy our suffering as we recap lazy 90’s TV at its worst!
Intro/Outro Music: "Last Call" by Lee Rosevere
As Voyager runs headlong into its first Space Problem of the Week in S1:E2 ‘Parallax’, it faces the true scourge of the Delta Quadrant – HR issues! Our heroes take a deep dive on ankle based silver cup assaults, Chakotay’s dramatic door usage, and fond memories of 30 year old coffee commercials.
Into/Outro Music: "Last Call" by Lee Rosevere
An early sense of dread creeps in as your podcast heroes endure another hour+ of bad exposition, sidetracks into mayfly space elves and Kmart Klingons, and the worst 10 minutes 90’s television has to offer! Come for the rest of the series premier, but stay for Tom Paris and his classic American Indian racism!
Into/Outro Music: "Last Call" by Lee Rosevere
Your podcast heroes embark on an epic journey as the hero ship is pushed out of Deep Space Nine's airlock in pursuit of the 24th Century equivalent of white trash terrorists! Watch as our hope dies in real time about the Betazoid helm officer! Also a good reminder that yesterday’s super soldier can be tomorrow’s CMO cameo.
Into/Outro Music: "Last Call" by Lee Rosevere