CongreGate: Recent Episodes
J. Mark Fox, Shawn Curtis, and Micah Fox
Come and CongreGate with Mark, Shawn, and Micah as they talk about culture, politics, sports, world events, and church from a biblical worldview. In ancient times, the community elders sat in the city gate to talk politics and culture, conduct business, pass judgment, and share ideas about life. Trading in the city gate for a few microphones and an endless source of inspiration and banter (aka "the internet"), a pastor and college professor, a former naval officer, and a rotary club president team up to share their (usually) common-sense thoughts on what is going on in the world and the church. We're not experts and we're not trying to sell you anything. Some people won't agree with us; some people will. Regardless, join J. Mark Fox, Shawn Curtis, and Micah Fox for weekly episodes of CongreGate!
YUGE Announcement! After consulting with our close friend, Al, the CongreGate Team is taking a break through the rest of the summer. We'll be returning in mid-September with new shows and a new "seasonal" format. So, please subscribe to the newsletter at congregatepodcast.com and don't miss any important updates or announcements! And don't unsubscribe! We'll be back soon!
Thanks to all the men and women who've been faithfully listening and providing encouraging feedback over the last year and a half of the show. We love hearing from you and your encouragement to us is what makes us want to keep making the show for you! Talk soon! Cue the music...
We’re back after a couple of weeks of travel! This week we are catching up on a variety of topics including basketball; the Supreme Court; and Mark’s trip to Moldova, Berlin, and Prague.
Micah brags about his sports prediction skills (he correctly guessed which team LeBron would sign with…), while Mark and Shawn make fun of him.
We talk about the Supreme Court and some of the chatter surrounding what might happen with another conservative judge added to the group.
Mark shares his impressions of Prague and his talks about his ministry opportunities in Germany and Moldova, Micah talks about his father-son camping trip, and Shawn briefly complains about the heat wave in upstate NY last week.
What have you guys been up to this summer? We’d love to hear from you!
Do you know anyone with a "boomerang child"? You've probably heard about the 30-year-old man that was recently ordered by a judge to leave his parents' home after refusing to leave for months. How does this relate to children respecting adults in the current culture?
Lack of respect has turned into a mental health crisis for children. We chat about an article from one of our local newspaper contributors who says giving children power in their relationship with adults weakens, rather than strengthens them.
Children benefit from boundaries, both emotionally and physically. Early enforcement of our expectations helps our children to build respectful and trusting relationships with us. How are you helping your children to learn to respect authority in a loving and gentle way?
Mark & Cindy are headed to Moldova to teach and disciple church leaders there. Please keep them in your prayers!
Links and Recommendations: New York man, 30, is ordered to vacate parents' home after refusing to leave for months - Fox News
Tucker Carlson on Michael Rotondo
Respect for Adults is Good for Kids' Mental Health- John Rosemond
Building Leaders in Moldova - previous episode
Did the Masterpiece Cakeshop ruling go far enough? The Supreme Court ruled on the Jack Phillips case last week. The ruling in favor of Jack was a win for religious freedom. If you haven't had the chance to talk with your family about this important case, we encourage you to start a conversation with your older kids and wife around the dinner table.
We've been listening to and reading many analyses of the ruling and a couple of things really stand out. First, don't believe the narrative that the ruling is as narrow as the media would like you to believe. The court goes out of its way to say that lower courts must respect American's rights for religious expression as much as they respect the rights of the LGBT community and others. Second, the court has set a precedent that a business owner can refuse service on the grounds that the service violates their religious beliefs. Though there are other similar cases in the queue, this is a very meaningful decision that will impact future rulings.
Let's be encouraged by the small steps in the right direction. This is an important decision that continues to protect the religious rights of Americans. We encourage you to continue praying for the Supreme Court and others that are leading and making decisions for our country.
Before our comments about the Supreme Court ruling, we speculate about how the meeting between President Trump and Kim Jong-un might go. You don't want to miss Micah's thought about how a thumb war might decide the outcome of this meeting...😜
Links and Recommendations: Cake Bakers and the Rest of Us- The World and Everything in It
Jack Phillips' big win- The World and Everything in It
The Briefing: Supreme Court sides with Colorado baker, sends very clear signal that religious convictions of American people cannot be trampled upon- Albert Mohler
Alliance Defending Freedom
Today's episode is a casual conversation about some recent news, Mark & Shawn's recap of the homeschool conference, and a little bit about family worship and our new family worship resource page.
Mark led 2 workshops at the conference. His first talk was about time management for men. He notes that there are often time management workshops specifically for moms, but not usually for the dads. In his workshop, he addressed how to prioritize the important things over the urgent things, and shared some practical tips and habits that have been helpful in his experience. He also led a workshop about how to conquer the fear of public speaking (which he has been speaking about for 20 years now!).
Shawn shares his experience as a first-time speaker and vendor. He talks about setting up a booth in the vendor hall with his wife and gives a recap of how his workshop on family worship went. We talk a little bit about family worship in general and about some of the confusion people at the conference seemed to have about this topic.
If you would like to hear Mark & Shawn's workshops in their entirety, you can find the recordings at NCHE Thrive! (the cost is just $4 per talk).
Links and Recommendations: NCHE Thrive! Conference Recordings
Pretty Nerdy Press
Todd Wilson - The FamilyMan - we didn't get to mention it in the podcast, but Todd's new FamilyMan ball caps were high-quality!
Family worship resource page - CongreGate
What would Jesus fly?: Six televangelists under Senate investigation frequent luxury corporate jets-and they are not alone- Warren Cole Smith for World News
Louisiana televangelist seeks donations for $54M private jet- Fox News
This week we catch up on some basketball and add a few thoughts to our previous episode about family activities. We spend a few minutes talking about our family mission and vision before moving on to the main topic of this episode, making disciples together as a family.
Scripture commands us, in Matthew 28, to "go and make disciples." Is it enough to live your life as a "good example"? Nope! Paul said "To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldlyto proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." (Eph 6:18-20)
We share some ideas about how we work together as families to evangelize and make disciples together. We have opportunities to speak boldly to our neighbors and others in our community. Many of our children have caught the vision and participate in conversations about the Lord with unbelievers. Maybe some of your children are involved in activities where they can be intentionally speaking about things of the Lord to their teammates and friends.
We'd love to hear about some of the ways your family works together to minister to people in your community. How are you making disciples together?
Links and Recommendations: Join us at the NCHE Thrive! Conference
Pretty Nerdy Press
It's graduation season! Graduation speeches often have similar themes and are filled with cliché catchphrases. Are any of these typical graduation platitudes actually helpful? What should we be encouraging our graduates toward?
It seems we are preaching a different message on graduation day than we do in church every week. (We mostly attend graduations for homeschool and Christian school students...) You can do anything, you can be anything you want to be, follow your dreams....why are these NOT Biblical messages? Because they are contrary to what Jesus taught—deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus.
What if instead of encouraging our graduates to dream big dreams, we encouraged them to pray big prayers? It's okay to have dreams and it's good to work hard, but are we really preparing our children for life by leaving out the parts where life is hard and dreams change and God calls us to do things we don't enjoy?
And while we're on the topic of platitudes and trite sayings, we chat about the ridiculous messages we see on church signs around town. Poor doctrine and trite sayings do not seem to attract visitors. So what are churches trying to accomplish with their signs? We don't really know, but at least you'll enjoy laughing at a few of our favorites!
We open with a couple of weird news stories...but today we are talking about evaluating family schedule and activities. We listened to a great talk by Jen Wilkin on FamilyLife Today regarding family activities and overscheduling. Jen says the number one issue that children are struggling with today is depression and anxiety due to exhaustion and overscheduling. She talks about how Christian families should be different from the world in this area and how we can evaluate what our family priorities should be from a Biblical worldview.
As parents, we have the idea that our children need to have a broad range of opportunities and experiences in order to be "well-rounded adults. We don't want them to miss out, but does this mindset come from fear of missing out? Are we making decisions about how our family spends time because we fear they won't be fully developed adults without their activities?
We also talk about what role social media plays in our decision making. People don't post about the things their kids are missing out on or share their failures regularly. This can factor into our decision making because we see what all of the other families around us are doing well, but we're missing the full picture.
We talk about the things we're actually missing out on when our kids' activities consume your family time. We miss time to sit and talk and build relationships with each other. We miss family dinner. We miss the flexibility to be hospitable and build relationships with other families.
Mark encourages us to be careful about how we speak to others about our children. Do we only mention their successes in activities and academics? That can easily create a performance mindset in which our children believe their value comes from what they do rather than who they are.
We encourage you to sit down and discuss your vision and priorities for your family. Our children are eternal spiritual beings and we need to keep that in mind when we choose which activities to be involved in. How are you stewarding your most precious assets?
Last week we talked about free-range parenting. One of our friends commented that we have very different ideas about the definition of free-range parenting. Maybe we missed the mark? He says free-range parenting is the exact opposite of helicopter parenting, where parents set no boundaries and have no rules. He says the parents are motivated by laziness, not by an intentional plan to give them space to explore and be creative. So, we talk about the difference between intentional free-range parenting and free-range parenting that is motivated by laziness.
We also chat about the motivation for lazy parenting. Why has this become a problem? There have always been parents on both sides of the spectrum, but it seems that more young parents take a hands-off approach. Parenting requires self-sacrifice and people are naturally selfish. Is this the root of the laziness? What about the "experts" that are telling parents that saying "no" is harmful to their children's self-esteem.
We also failed to address the fear that drives parents to hover over their children and "helicopter parent." Some parents don't allow their children freedom because they fear the children will get hurt or get in trouble. We think it's healthy for kids to take risks, learn things for themselves, and understand the consequences of their actions by making their own mistakes.
Both extremes, free-range parenting out of laziness and extreme helicopter parenting out of fear, can be sin issues. How can we address the sin and encourage parents that struggle with fear? We need to encourage them to teach their children to be wise and then trust the Lord to protect them. We realize this isn't as simple as it sounds and discuss some ways we can encourage parents that struggle with fear in all areas of their lives.
As always, we'd love to hear your thoughts!
A listener recently asked us what we think about free-range parenting. How much freedom should our children have to play and explore independently?
Should responsible children have the freedom to play outside or stay at home alone? Utah recently passed a law to protect parents that allow their children this type of freedom. Fifty years ago, kids were free to ride their bikes around town and stay home after school alone. A recent news article talked about how children that do not spend free time outside struggle with sensory issues and coordination.
We want to raise children that can think for themselves and be self-governed. Giving them opportunities to try things and explore without always jumping in and doing it for them helps the kids learn to think for themselves.
What are the cons of free-range parenting? Can kids have too much freedom? We need to make sure the kids understand there are boundaries. We don't want to send kids away so that we can disengage as parents. Free-range parenting doesn't mean kids are left alone all the time with no oversight. We spend time teaching them and then allowing them the freedom to learn cause-and-effect and explore their ideas with age-appropriate boundaries. Boredom is not the enemy. We think kids should have down time so that they can learn to be creative.
First, don't miss Micah's exciting announcement!
This week's topic is from a listener that wrote in with a great question about discussing cultural issues with unbelieving co-workers. Our friend asks how we should interact with people at work that have an opposite worldview. Specifically, she mentioned talking to those friends that support abortion, homosexual marriage, marijuana legalization, and related issues.
As followers of Christ, our first priority should be to treat every person with respect and love. We value people above their opinions, and we can separate loving a person from embracing their views. Mark says he tells his students to be vicious with ideas and gentle with people. Not all ideas have equal value, but that doesn't devalue the person who had the idea. Disagreeing with people doesn't mean you think they are bad people or that you hate them. Loving people means we should tell them the truth.
Shawn shares a recent example from our government that illustrates how people in our country can no longer separate people's viewpoints from the people themselves. More about that in the links below.
Practically, we need to help our co-workers and neighbors to understand that Christianity is not only true but also good. Most people in our country do not understand the Christian worldview. They don't have any context for absolute truth and only know the "rules" without understanding our motivation for following them.
Micah encourages us not to always be on the defensive side. Try turning the questions back around and lovingly ask thoughtful questions to accusers and critics.
Are you living in a conservative Christian echo chamber? If you haven't heard the term, living in an "echo chamber" means that you only taking in information and listening to thoughts that reinforce your current viewpoint.
As conservative Christians, we can sometimes fall into some traps, thinking only one way about theology or social issues, without considering other views. For example, do we only ever look for study materials from John Piper or do we ignore opinions from authors that we know may have some differing theological views? If we disagree with someone on one theological issue, do we discount their other thoughts entirely?
What about church membership? We believe it's ok to have specific statements of belief that our members agree to. In order to worship together, we must have some views in common.
We also want our children to be able to articulate their viewpoints and opposing viewpoints. It's important to allow free discussion of ideas so that our children develop the ability to think and respond logically and Biblically to other views. But there's a balance to strike. We encourage you to expose your children to other thoughts and views that are age-appropriate and with discernment. They don't necessarily need to see an R-rated movie to understand why we don't typically watch them. Regular conversation and reading time with your children is a great benefit to them, allowing you to discuss different social and theological views, and building a solid foundation of right thinking.
First, Micah tells us how he got locked in the crawlspace under the house. Don't worry, the 3-year-old figured out how to open the lock for him!
Today we chat about what fathers should be teaching their sons, for example, should fathers teach their son to throw a ball? What are the basic skills we as dads should be teaching our sons? Are basic sports skills that important?
Dads have a responsibility for the physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being of their children. Why is throwing a ball, or learning basic athletic skills, important to our kids' development? Athletic skills are a great tool to help build perseverance and good character in our children. Mark says sports are helpful for building confidence, yielding to others, playing in your position, and knowing what you are good at.
We talk about how a former Navy Seal attributes some of the critical skills he needed for military operations to the sports he played with his dad as a child.
Shawn talks about some of the skills his dad taught him, including driving a manual transmission car.He also shares some of the things he wished he had spent time learning from his dad while he was still living at home. Micah remembers some of the skills he learned from Mark, like studying the Bible, public speaking, writing well, and working hard to maintain their home. They also spent time playing baseball together, where he learned to persevere through a losing season.
We talk about what things we can teach our daughters. In addition to being a good example of what they should look for in a husband, we encourage you to include your daughters in athletic activities too. We still want our daughters to learn perseverance, confidence, and the value of hard work. Mark shares a few thoughts about encouraging our daughters to embrace their God-given roles as women. And we talk about why it's important to pay attention to things our daughters want to show us, whether it be art projects, athletic skills, or "show" they create.
We need to be careful that we are checking our own attitudes to make sure we aren't pushing our children to work hard for our own selfish motivations.
What are some skills your dad taught you that had a lasting legacy?
Should Christians support movies that depict literal Bible events? Are movies about the life of Jesus (and other prominent Bible characters) helpful to the Gospel or harmful? We're not talking about all movies with Christian themes, just movies specifically about Biblical events like The Passion of the Christ,The Nativity Story, and the new movie about the apostle Paul.
Just to be clear, we believe this is a Christian liberty issue. We take different sides in this debate to explore the positive and negative effects of making movies based on scripture.
Shawn believes that the overall outcome does more harm than good, while Mark & Micah argue that Christian movies can help and encourage people. We encourage you to research and think about what you are watching before you decide to take your family to see Bible movies.
In our visually-oriented culture, people often watch movies without reading the books. In Bible movies, we also have to add details about people's personalities and context. Are these extra-Biblical details harmful or helpful? Mark says it helps people imagine the context for themselves. Shawn says it's important to make sure people understand which details are Biblical and which details are added because they won't necessarily go find out for themselves.
J.I. Packer (in Knowing God) says that visual representations of Christ are a violation of the Second Commandment. We share our thoughts about how this relates to movies that depict Biblical events.
What do you think? Let us know how you feel about movies that depict Bible Stories...
It's Spring! Time to get out the lawnmower and get started on some of the DIY projects around the house. Today we're just chatting about life—basketball, the Spring projects we've been working on, and a few fun stories about DIY projects.
We all have big lawns and riding lawnmowers that require regular maintenance. Find out which tasks we do ourselves and which ones we hire out. Plus, Mark tells you what alligator hunters and lawnmowers have in common.
Is YouTube a helpful tool or a killer of community? Sure...you can find DIY videos about anything you need to fix, but does it keep you from connecting with your friends in real life? We want to teach our kids to be problem-solvers and YouTube can be a helpful tool for quick DIY tips. On the other hand, we also have friends and neighbors with valuable skills and knowledge to offer. We chat about when YouTube has been helpful versus when it has been easier to call a friend for advice.
First, we spend a few minutes catching up on March Madness, Shawn's family camping trip, and Micah's home invasion. Because of Micah's recent experience, it seemed good to talk about preparing your home and protecting your family from home invasion. We also talk about the difference between faith and fear, some lessons learned, and how our stuff is not eternal.
As Christian men, we are called by God to be the protectors of our family. Are we helping our wives and children to feel safe? We need to trust that God is sovereign over our circumstances and take responsibility to protect our families. The two things are not mutually exclusive. Taking action is not lack of trust in the Lord, and blind faith without preparation is not using wisdom.
Micah shares some of their thoughts about the stuff that was taken from their home and some practical tips to help you secure your home and belongings. Don't keep your fire safe in the master bedroom, look into identity theft protection and monitoring, and keep digital files and passwords in secure cloud-based applications. Mark also talks about the contrast between the things that Micah treasures (eternal things) and the things his recently deceased brother had treasured (earthly things).
We encourage you to think about the things you treasure and the how you are spending your time. Are you spending time building eternal treasure by building your relationship with the Lord, your family, and other people?
Have you taken the time to meet your neighbors and find out how you can minister to them? We have been trained to think of our workplace as a place of ministry, but do we think of our home as a place of ministry too? God put you in your house, in your neighborhood, to be a light to your neighbors. Are you looking for ways to minister to the families in your area?
We chat about different experiences with neighbors we've had over the years and opportunities we've had to minister to them in different ways. One of our pastor friends challenged us to learn the spiritual condition of every home surrounding ours and find ways to love, serve, and share the gospel with those around us.
We appreciate the opportunities that our children have to spend time with neighbors of different ages and backgrounds. Many times our children are bolder than we are and find ways to bless the neighbors in ways we hadn't thought to serve them.
This episode is mostly stories of different interactions we've had with our neighbors and we pray it encourages you to meet and find ways to serve your neighbors!
Today we are talking about engaging with your children one on one. Though we encourage and promote planning family activities, we also think it's important to find time to spend intentional time alone with each of our children. As dads, we have found that meeting with our kids one on one helps build stronger relationships with them and build up the family as a whole.
All of us take kids to run errands, but what we're talking about today is a little different. How can we make opportunities where the purpose of the time is to engage the child in real conversation? We want our kids to know their father loves and cares about them as an individual. We want to communicate that we care about their struggles and desire to help them. Hanging out at Lowe's is great, but intentional time and conversation meant to draw out their deeper thoughts take a little more planning and preparation.
We encourage you to look at your schedule and find ways to use to use the time you already have. Shawn takes one of his girls to a one-hour dance class and always takes another child along for an ice cream date. Micah talks about how he engages his kids in conversation in the car instead of turning on the radio.
Let's face it, sometimes kid conversation is boring. It takes work to draw out something longer than one-word answers. One of the tools we recommend is the Donut Date Journal, that provides helpful questions for parents to engage with their children. Many of the questions are fun for the kids, but they also provide valuable insight to the parents as well.
What are some ways you find one on one time to intentionally engage your children?
After some banter about the Winter Olympics and some excitement over replacing windshield wipers, we spend some time reflecting on the life of Billy Graham. As you've probably heard by now, preacher and evangelist, Billy Graham died a few days ago. He spent his life telling millions of people the good news that Jesus Christ was the solution to their sin problem.
We've enjoyed reading and learning more about Billy Graham this week as others remember and reflect on his life. Some of our kids were excited to make the connection between Billy Graham and Franklin Graham (whom they know from Operation Christmas Child and Samaritan's Purse).
We talk about how Billy Graham's travel affected his home life. Franklin Graham talks about this in his autobiography, Rebel with a Cause. How do we balance the call to ministry and the call to lead our families? Where does God give grace and how do we decide which ministry opportunities to pursue? We may have some seasons when God calls us to spend time away from our family, either for work or ministry.
Billy Graham was a known to be a man of integrity. In a culture where men in the public eye often fall into very public sin, Billy Graham stands out as a faithful example of a man serving God in the public eye. We appreciate his life of service to the Lord and hope that you are encouraged to pursue Jesus more because of his example.
Did Billy Graham have a direct influence on your life? We'd love to hear your stories!
Back in 1997, Joshua Harris wrote a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Twenty-one years later with over a million copies sold, Harris has been discussing some of the backlash and feedback he received and what he would do differently now. He has recently opened up about some of his regrets and lessons learned in interviews with World Magazine and on FamilyLife Today.
While many people took away good and helpful principles from the book, some people have claimed that Harris's book "ruined their lives". Some people say they never married because they were afraid to date and interact with people of the opposite sex. Harris, now parenting teens himself, has been addressing some of these comments now that he has a more mature perspective on life.
Shawn and Micah were both heavily influenced by Harris's courtship teaching as homeschooled teens, as were many conservative evangelicals around their age. Though neither of them followed the "courtship rules" legalistically, they mostly had a positive experience using some of the courtship principles to date with intention.
There are often "movements" within the church like this that have a dramatic effect on people's lives. How can we respond to influential Christian books and movements like this? Clearly, we should not be placing a book on a pedestal above the word of God. In this case, many people took Harris's advice as gospel, instead of seeking truth from scripture.
How can we help our teens, and singles in our churches, to have a healthy and balanced perspective of dating and relationships? We share some conversations you should be having with your teens about dating and relationships.
Were you affected by I Kissed Dating Goodbye, either positively or negatively? We'd love to hear your stories!
Today we answer a few questions from our listeners about church leadership and discipling kids. We also chat about the Superbowl and faith of some of the players. Carson Wentz, Nick Foles, and many of their teammates have been a refreshing witness for Christ. We are thankful to see men living for Jesus in a very public way.
Our friend Stephen asks, "Can you discuss the Biblical reasons for elder vs. pastor-led churches?"
Mark says that appointing elders is the New Testament model of leading a church and gives a few examples. Can God use other models? Yes. But we do think there is a best model based on the New Testament church.
Shawn shares a quick history lesson on church leadership during the westward expansion and how this has affected church leadership today. We also share some of the freedoms of having a few elders working together. For example, pastors often burn out physically and spiritually, but when the responsibility is shared, the burden is also shared.
Our friend Matt asks, "I've heard you talk about not trying to talk your children into accepting Christ, baptism, or communion, rather letting them come to you when they are ready. Any practical ways to bring up the topic and get them thinking about these areas?"
We talked about how to know when our children are saved and ready to be baptized in a previous episode. One of the best ways to have intentional spiritual conversations with your kids is through the practice of regular family worship. Shawn encourages fathers to lead their families in regular conversations about scripture. By creating a regular time to talk about God, children will learn to ask questions and look to their parents for answers to their questions about spiritual things.
Thank you for writing in with your questions and comments. We always appreciate hearing from you!
Today we are talking about church shopping & the consumer mindset. More than ever, Christians "shop" for the "perfect" churches. With a church on every corner in some areas of the country, we have no lack of choices. Just like we go to Starbucks and have thousands of drink options, we expect to go to church and find dozens of options for music and programs.
Are we even "shopping" for the right things? What about looking for churches that preach from the Bible with people that love each other in true community? Is this good and healthy for the church in America?
It's human nature to be always searching for more because we need to find satisfaction in Christ. Unfortunately, most people aren't finding satisfaction in Christ and continue trying to fill their lives with things.
People have always struggled with self-control, so this isn't a new sin issue. It's important to search our heart motivations for the things we consume, the appetites we develop, and the expectations we have.
How do you contribute to the consumer mentality in your home? We talk about a few things we've noticed in our own homes. Are we teaching our children to worship the right things?
We encourage you to examine how many hours you spend consuming media vs. consuming scripture. It's not that we believe all media is evil, but there needs to be balance. Let's be intentional about what appetites we are feeding and what habits we are forming in our families.
For the past few years, our church has been encouraging and building leaders in Moldova through short-term missions trips. Mark and Micah just returned from another trip and share some of the things they are doing and teaching in Moldova to help build godly leaders there.
In Moldova, the official church is the Orthodox Church. Most people believe they are Christians, but follow a works-based religious system. There are smaller groups of Baptist and Pentecostal Christians that are hungry for the word of God and eager to hear Biblical teaching. We have been investing in their leaders by teaching principles from Mark's book, A Faithful Man.
In addition to teaching the men how to lead their families and their churches, they also had the opportunity to talk about age-integrated church. One of the churches was so excited to learn about the age-integrated church model that they decided to transition right away.
Our main focus has been to challenge the men to love their wives and families by leading them well. The women are encouraged to see their husbands excited about learning and growing as leaders. Many of the challenges the families face are very similar to the struggles we face here, like raising children well and balancing the demands of family and ministry. We are encouraged to see how the power of God's word transcends cultural boundaries and changes lives.
Mark and Micah also share their funniest cultural experience...a trip to the sauna. Thankfully, our Moldovan friends decided to wear swim shorts for them (something they don't normally do)! After sitting in the roasting hot sauna for 20 minutes, they jump into a cold pool. And then back to the sauna again! It gets better. Just listen to the story...
Today's topic isn't one we normally like to think about. Are you prepared for death or disability? What steps can you take to provide for your family if you die unexpectedly or become disabled? We all like to think we will grow old with our wives, but it's important to take the time to make contingency plans for our families. As husbands and fathers, we have a responsibility to prepare our families for our death if it should precede theirs.
Praise God we live in a time and culture where women and children aren't left homeless and destitute if the husband and father passes away. But as we reflect on the recent deaths of friends and family members, we see the burden of organization and provision for the family left on the widows. One way we can love and serve our wives is to leave them with organized plans so that they have a smaller burden if we unexpectedly pass away or become disabled and unable to work. We share a few practical tips for putting together an organized folder of information that our families will need one day.
Shawn talks about internet password management. In the age of online accounts for everything, we need to leave our wives with a list of passwords to access important accounts like bank and insurance information. He recommends using something like Keeper Security to store and organize passwords and online accounts.
Mark shares some of the records he keeps in his folder including information for life insurance, health insurance, homeowners insurance, disability insurance, mutual fund accounts, social security numbers, car titles, vaccination & health records, passports and more. He also includes a list of people to call for home repairs, tax preparation, car repairs, etc. Many of us have these things written down somewhere, but they are not organized. We encourage you to write them down and store them in one place and let your wife know the information is there if she needs it. You can also use Dave Ramsey's Legacy Journey product to work through some of those plans.
Finally, we talk about some different types of insurance we should have set up to help provide for our wives and children if something should happen to us. We share a story about some friends that purchased long-term care insurance, not knowing if they would need it. When the husband developed Parkinson's a few years later, the wife was left with the means to pay for his care without debt. She is grateful that her husband took the time and spent the money on long-term care insurance.
We believe that it's important to plan ahead for these life circumstances, as much as possible, but also want to stress that you will leave a spiritual legacy for your family as well. Take the time to prepare these practical things, while you continue to seek ways to encourage and grow your family spiritually.
What steps have you taken to prepare in the event of your unexpected death or disability?
We've talked about our annual planning practices a few times, but today we wanted to focus specifically on the importance of planning for tithing and giving, as well as some of the more practical questions about how to set goals and ways to give.
Micah talks about the encouragement he received as a young man to take the Financial Peace University class from Dave Ramsey. That wise advice helped him begin good financial habits as a young married man. He observes that when he and his wife plan and budget regularly, they are also able to save and give more.
We talk about how regular financial planning meetings with your wife can be a leadership issue. As husbands, we can provide leadership and show love to our wives by talking about our finances, especially with wives that thrive with a plan.
Mark talks about the difference between tithing and giving. Does the Bible actually say we need to give 10%? Is it okay to give to other ministries and missions work instead, or should that be above and beyond the 10% tithe to the church?
We also talk about e-giving options. Our leadership is currently considering how to use e-giving tools wisely with our congregation. Why do we still "pass the plate"? We chat about the implications of giving in person vs. online. For example, parents of young children might want to continue to give in person as an example to their children. What about the 3% credit card processing fees?
Do you find that you give more when you plan to give more? We'd love to hear your thoughts!
The beginning of the year is a great time to look back and evaluate how you spent your time and energy the previous year, and make new goals for the upcoming year. We don't love the idea of resolutions, but setting clear, achievable, purposeful goals can be a great motivator as you begin a new year.
We talk about some of the goals we set for last year and how they played out. We each share a couple of the most successful goals we completed or habits we formed in 2017. It turns out many of our favorites were just simple, but meaningful, things like reading as a family or having breakfast together.
We also reflect on some of the hard things we experienced this year, including death, illness, and strained relationships in our families.
We want God to stretch us so that we grow in devotion to Christ this year, so we chat about our hopes and goals for the upcoming year. Mark hopes to be more grace-filled, less critical, and more thankful. He also has the desire to write another book. Shawn is praying to trust the Lord more with life circumstances and for gentleness in parenting. Micah hopes to be more intentional in discipling his children and friends that are new believers. He is also praying about responding positively to his children. (Anyone sense a theme here? Parenting is hard work...right!?)
We heard many of the same types of goals and prayer requests from our congregation as we prayed for them this week. We encourage you to think back over last year and make time to do some planning for the upcoming year.
You can also encourage your children to set goals and develop good habits for the year. Shawn recommends Exploring the Bible to help your kids develop the habit of daily Bible reading and study.
We'd love to hear about your goals & habits for the year! Do you take time to evaluate and plan at the beginning of the year?
Are you managing your time wisely? American culture seems to celebrate busyness, but is this really healthy? Today we chat about time management, stewardship, and some techniques we use to manage our own time well.
We talk about getting up early to use the quiet morning time wisely. Shawn makes the case that good time management starts with a good night's sleep and a regular morning routine. We recommend a few books that we have found to be helpful in creating routines and priorities.
We also talk about planning ahead, for the year, for the month, and for the week. We each have regular habits and routines (family dinner, for example) that are the priorities. Then we talk and pray about other opportunities and choose the best things. We like to do the hard things first. We also highly encourage you to put your phone down and consume less media.
Finally, Micah talks about creating flexibility for meeting other people's needs. We have a tendency to make all of our decisions about ourselves, but our time is not our own. As believers, we need to be available to serve other people as needs and opportunities arise.
You've heard it before: Leaders are readers. (Thank you, President Truman!) Whether you are leading in your family, your church, or your workplace, filling your mind with good ideas and stories will enhance your life and your leadership skills. This year we've shared experiences with Steven Curtis Chapman, missionaries, and pastors. We've thought through current culture issues with some of the best Christian leaders of our time. And we've enjoyed taking a step back from our regular lives to read stories that give a chance to rest and be renewed. All because we read some great books this year!
Today we're sharing some of our favorite books of the year. We hope you take the time to read and learn from some of these books.
We all agree, our favorite book of the year was Between Heaven and the Real World by Steven Curtis Chapman. We've all been fans of his music for many years. We appreciated his honesty about his marriage and his struggles through losing a child. We experienced new layers of meaning to many of his songs after learning about the circumstances in his life when he was writing the music.
Mark and Shawn recommend The Insanity of God by Nik Ripkin. It's the stories of a missionary family that served in Somalia and other places where the church is persecuted. It's a powerful look at some of the toughest places on earth and how the gospel is working in the lives of people there.
Shawn recommends This is Our Time, a book about how we can be faithful Christians in our time in history. The first chapter alone (about smartphones) is worth the cost of the book. This is a great gift book for young people!
For those that might be tired of hearing about all of these cultural issues in the church, Micah recommends Restoring All Things. It's not just talking about people helping with issues in theory (abortion, racial reconciliation, trafficking, etc.) because they include stories of people doing meaningful work to make a difference in all of these areas.
We think it's important to include some fiction reading in our book lists each year. Mark recommends Daniel Silva novels and Shawn enjoys reading Charles Dickens books. Some other books we highlight are Essentialism, The Vanishing American Adult, Martin Luther, and Gods at War.
Tell us about your favorite books of the year! We'd love to hear about them!
And just a reminder...we'll be taking a couple of weeks of from recording new podcast episodes for a couple weeks to enjoy Christmas festivities with our families. We'll be back with new episodes in January!
It's almost Christmas! It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of the season and become selfish during the holidays. Our kids are focused on presents and we, as adults, are focused on getting our to-do list finished.
We think it's important to plan some activities that help our families focus on loving and serving our community, so we're talking about how not to be a selfish pig during the holidays!
We have a few ideas and traditions to share to help you focus on giving and serving this Christmas.
Micah says his kids love going to Dollar Tree to buy gifts for each other. The gifts are small, but they learn a lot from it and look forward to it each year.
We mention several organizations that you can help with your money or your time. Some have "gift catalogs" that allow you to choose gifts like chickens, sewing machines, and bicycles that can change the lives of needy families in poor countries. Shawn's family has enjoyed providing a few gifts for children in an orphanage where a young woman from our church is serving. If money is tight, many ministries have opportunities for you to serve with your time.
Mark suggests visiting the elderly during the holidays, either in the nursing home or at their homes. You can visit people you know individually, or schedule a group outing to sing Christmas carols. Many older people are unable to travel to church and find great joy in singing carols with kids. They love the chance to tell stories to people. Mark tells a story about his friend Hilda that used to be a surgical nurse for Billy Graham's father-in-law. She loves to tell people about it.
Our home groups usually go Christmas caroling in different places each year. Some go to nursing homes and some carol around their neighborhoods. Not only is this a way to bring joy to other people, it can also be a good evangelistic opportunity as well.
You don't have to do all of these things to get rid of selfish attitudes in your home. We encourage you to add a couple of new traditions to spend time focusing on loving and serving people in your community this year!
And, as always, we'd love to hear some of your ideas! How do you fight selfish attitudes and help your family to focus on giving during the holidays?
Links and Recommendations: Samaritan's Purse
Operation Christmas Child
Alamance Pregnancy Services
Christmas Cheer
Today we are talking about a difficult topic. What do you do when a friend takes his own life? A few weeks ago, Shawn learned that a close friend of his had taken his own life, leaving behind a wife and 4 children. CJ was a veteran of both the Army and the Navy and outspoken Christ follower, but under the surface, he was struggling.
How can a man that loved the Lord passionately and that was by all appearances happy, decide to end his life? Sadly, a few minutes of past trauma can rule a person's life. They can be deceived into believing that the world and their family are better off without them. Whether caused by PTSD or something else, as many as 22 veterans take their lives every day. Shawn shares how CJ's widow is becoming involved with an organization that helps fight veteran suicide.
We also discuss suicide in general. Suicide has become the 2nd leading cause of teen death after accidents. Our culture glamorizes death in some ways. One example is the recent Netflix series "13 Reasons". Young people faced with bullying and mounting responsibilities don't know where to turn for help. As parents and church leaders, we need to be looking for signs of trouble and making ourselves available to counsel and encourage those who are struggling.
At CJ's memorial service, the pastor preached a strong gospel message. Shawn shares the most memorable part of the message. "Was it selfish?...Yes...Was it sinful?... Yes...Was it wrong?...Yes...BUT Was it forgivable?...YES!" We believe that suicide is sinful and selfish, but it is forgivable because we serve a God that paid the penalty for ALL of the sins of believers.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, we urge you to talk to someone. Get help. And if you know people that are struggling, keep pursuing them. Push them to get help and be available to talk. Church leaders, be aware that there are most likely people in your congregation that struggle with thoughts of self-harm, even those that have a strong relationship with the Lord. Be on the lookout for ways to help and encourage each other!
Links and Recommendations: Mission 22 - United in the War Against Veteran Suicide
Operation Heal Our Patriots - a ministry of Samaritan's Purse, helping to heal wounded veterans
The Hopeless World of "13 Reasons" - with Jon Stonestreet
Mark has been preaching through Philippians on Sunday mornings, and recently taught through the end of Philippians where Paul states, "for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content". Today we are discussing the "rare jewel" of contentment that the Puritan, Jeremiah Burroughs, spoke of in his book and that Paul taught in Philippians.
What are the areas where you struggle with contentment? Are you satisfied with your work, your financial situation, and your family?
Looking back a few verses in Philippians, Paul tells us to "rejoice in the Lord always" and to offer prayers with thanksgiving. This is coming from a man that was imprisoned, beaten, and shipwrecked. If Paul could say that, we must learn from him that rejoicing and practicing gratefulness are key concepts to living a life of contentment in every circumstance.
What about training our children to be content? This can be a daily struggle for us as parents. Our children can have ungrateful attitudes and they often learn that behavior from us. And our consumer culture only adds to the struggle!
We share some ideas about how to deal with complaining spirits in our children (and in ourselves). Teaching our children delayed gratification by involving them in long-term savings projects, or participating in giving projects, like filling Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes, can help teach our children to be content. We discuss a few ideas that we have tried with our children, but we'd love to hear your ideas as well!
Sometimes people take this section of Philippians out of context. What does "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" actually mean? Mark jokes that he can play NBA basketball because Christ will strengthen him. Clearly, this is not what Paul meant!
True contentment comes only through peace with God, through the death and resurrection of Jesus on the cross.
Today Mark and Micah chat with our friend Roché van Wyk, the director of Learn to Earn in South Africa. We talk to Roché about his education & discipleship ministry in South Africa. Roché and his team are training job skills and restoring the lives of people suffering because of unemployment.
Learn to Earn began as Roché though about the question "How does the gospel transform your community?". Learn to Earn provides job skills training and discipleship courses for unemployed people in their community. Roché explains how their development programs teach people to become self-governed.
Learn to Earn has trained about 500 people a year for the past ten years, with an 80% success rate placing their graduates in full-time jobs. Roché talks about one student that came from a very rough background that has completed the course and is currently training to own a coffee shop franchise. This young man was headed in the wrong direction and is now loved by his community.
We talk about how churches and individuals can best help people in need. Roché recommends reading the book When Helping Hurts. Learn to Earn believes in giving people "a hand up, not a handout." In their community, many unemployed people don't try to find jobs because the relief organizations come in provide for their needs, but don't equip them to help themselves for the long-term.
Roché's ministry is dedicated to developing programs and opportunities to empower people to help themselves. Those involved in their program are taught how to take ownership of their training and their work. We talk about how Learn to Earn educates people while helping them to deal with their heart issues.
Would you like to pray for Learn to Earn? Roché shares some ways that we can be part of their ministry. Pray for the crime and corruption in South Africa and in their community. If you would like to know more about Learn to Earn or donate to their ministry, please visit their website.
After the recent church shooting in Texas, we wanted to talk about church security. As leaders and shepherds in our church, we are responsible for protecting our flock, but we don't want to be motivated by fear. We've taken some steps toward securing our building a couple years ago and have continued talking about other ways we can protect our people.
We talk about an article from the Gospel Coalition titled 7 Ways to Prepare Your Church Against Violence. The first step is to communicate with your congregation. We have recently informed our congregation that we are praying about how to further protect our church and communicated that we are open to suggestions and comments from our members.
We talk about how we deal with weapons in our church building. We allow concealed carry guns, though we realize that some churches ban all weapons or have differing opinions. As elders, we want to communicate with those people that carry to make sure that there would be an ordered response in the event of a threat.
How do you protect your children? Do you know what is going on in the homes of your members? Are you helping people work through their anxiety? We briefly talk through all of these points and share some of the things we are trying at our own church.
What plans for church security have you implemented to protect your congregation? Let us know!
Today we're discussing how to confront fear in your family. Do you struggle with fear over your safety, your financial situation, or fear over sharing the gospel with your neighbors? What about your wife and children? Do they struggle with fear?
We talk about some of our personal struggles with fear and some of the things our wives and children have feared. We also discuss what it means to "fear the Lord".
How do you confront fear in your family? We talk about how we have supported and encouraged our wives and children through their fears. While it's good to talk through fears rationally, it's also important to pray for our wives and children joyfully and out loud.
A Gospel Coalition blog post by Melissa Kruger puts forth three helpful questions to help us evaluate how we deal with fear in our lives. For example, does fear lead to anger, anxiety, or attempts to control others? Or how does God commands us to handle our fear? We discuss some of our answers to these questions and encourage you to work through them on your own and with your family.
Happy 500th anniversary of the Reformation! This morning we are talking about the relevance of the Reformation for today and sharing a few random thoughts on Halloween.
Whether you participate in Halloween, use it as an evangelistic tool, or go to a church Reformation celebration is not what we're debating. We believe this is an area of Christian liberty. You are free to choose how to best participate in your community.
Ever wonder why Martin Luther nailed his Ninety-Five Theses to the door of the church? The church doors served as a community bulletin board! We've been talking to our kids and our church members about some Reformation history as the 500th anniversary approaches.
One of the most fun resources we found was this song summarizing Reformation history. Shawn's kids have been walking around for a few weeks singing about papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation! Though the Reformation Polka is slightly silly, the kids have picked up more historical facts from the song than most adults know.
Finally, we conclude with some thoughts about why it's important to celebrate and study the Reformation. Many American congregations are dying out, people are no longer studying their Bibles, and many are reverting back to pre-Reformation religion. Meanwhile, in countries facing greater persecution, the church is growing as the believers hold fast to scripture.
After we finish discussing the merits of beard oil and the possibility of a beard "comb-over" (huh?)...
Today's episode is about resolving conflict in our everyday lives. We recently taught about resolving and managing conflict at our men's retreat. Whether or not we already understand the Biblical process for resolving conflict, it is always good to remind ourselves how to deal with conflict from a Biblical perspective.
We used Ken Sande's book, Resolving Everyday Conflict, as a basis for our teaching. Sande says that people fall into 3 categories; peacemaker, peacefaker, and peacebreaker. Peacefakers tend to avoid conflict and peacebreakers tend to be confrontational. The Biblical model of conflict resolution is to be a peacemaker. We chat about how each of these tendencies exhibits itself in different ways and in different circumstances.
Peacefakers tend to avoid conflict and peacebreakers tend to be confrontational. The Biblical model of conflict resolution is to be a peacemaker. We chat about how each of these tendencies exhibits itself in different ways and in different circumstances.
We also talk about overlooking small offenses. This is often the first step to resolving a conflict. Ask yourself, "Is this worth fighting over?".
What if someone talks over you in a meeting or tells a joke at your expense? These are good opportunities to overlook the offense. Through the Gospel, you have the power to end the conflict before it begins. This brings glory to God by imitating his mercy and immediate forgiveness.
As parents, we also have the opportunity to teach our children how to resolve conflict within our family. Sande's material can help provide guidelines for managing and teaching our children to deal with conflict.
This episode opens with some football banter and we review the score predictions we made last week. If football isn't your thing, we start chatting about our annual church men's retreat about six minutes in.
Last weekend, about 50 of our men spent 3 days together at our annual men's retreat. Each year, we rent 3 beach houses to spend time playing, fellowshipping, worshipping, and studying God's Word together. We include our young men, ages 12 and up in this event. It's an exciting rite of passage for the new 12-year-olds to join us. The younger boys count down the years until they are old enough to be counted among the men.
Mark briefly shares our schedule of events for the retreat. The first night usually includes a pizza dinner and testimony time, before a short teaching time. The second morning is more teaching time, followed by an afternoon of sports, swimming, and talking with friends. Some of the men stay up late talking, playing games, and crab hunting. The third morning is a time of worship and teaching. We eat lunch together at a local seafood restaurant and head home. The idea is to create a good balance between Bible study and relationship building.
In contrast to many American teens that are walking away from the faith of their parents, we are seeing most of our young adults following the Lord and taking leadership around the church and community. We talk about how including the young men and women in our church retreats (and other "adult" events) seems to have a strong positive influence on our teens.
Mark addresses pastors and church leaders that might like to begin an annual men's retreat. Pastors shouldn't feel the burden to do all of the teaching and planning on their own.
Next week we'll be talking about Resolving Everday Conflict, the topic of our men's retreat teaching this year.
This morning we talk about the death of Hugh Hefner and the sexual confusion in our culture. Hugh Hefner's life has been both celebrated and condemned. Much of our country views him as a pioneering artist, while Christians and conservatives see the destruction that has precipitated from his "art".
Mark talks about the confusion of sexual culture on his college campus. Students feel entitled to sexual relationships and there is an assumption that all of the unmarried students are sexually active.
We also talk about the theological implications of the sexual confusion in our culture and how we can address this with our teenage children. What is the Biblical worldview on the sexual revolution in our culture? We need to be talking to our teenagers about Biblical sexuality regularly, so they are prepared to face the opposing view of secular culture. They are being constantly confronted by with the world's tainted view of sexuality and we need to be diligent to confront the lies with God's truth.
Dads with teenage sons, we encourage you to talk to your sons about sex. We need to be talking to them regularly about their struggles in this area. Don't be discouraged by your own sexual sin. Let's admit our mistakes and deal with our sin so that we can walk with our children through their struggles.
Links and Recommendations: Speaking Ill of Hugh Hefner
Hugh Hefner and the Sexual Revolution - Jon Stonestreet
Passport2Purity - FamilyLife
Maybe you're tired of reading articles about racial protests in the NFL and around the country like we are. We thought it might be helpful to provide a Christian response to protest culture in this country.
We discuss the issue of general free speech vs. employment policies governing speech and behavior. Do employers have the right to terminate employees that violate the company's convictions? Do football team owners have the right to fire players that stand (or kneel, in this case) against the owner's convictions?
We also talk about the current value of the protests. Are they actually making a difference? If the protests aren't bringing people together, what should we be doing to help with racial reconciliation? As Christians, we need to encourage conversation, both in our homes and in our communities, pointing people back to the power of the Gospel for change and unity.
Today we continue talking with our friend, Thomas Messick, who works with Crescent Project ministry to Muslims. Crescent Project equips Christians with knowledge and understanding so that they can effectively share the Gospel with their Muslim neighbors.
First, we discuss how we can reach Muslims in our communities. Many Christians have become fearful of Muslims because of the extreme stories we hear about terrorists in the news. Thomas shares a story about a Muslim neighbor he invited to dinner at the pastor's house, and how God used that event to teach some people not to fear our Muslim neighbors. They need Jesus and we need to be willing to love them and share the Gospel with them, even if that means stepping out of our comfort zone.
Thomas says that most Muslims are very open to religious discussion right away. He shares a couple of stories about how he has approached Muslims in public situations.
Finally, Thomas tells us some of the common objections Muslims have to Christianity and gives us a few basic theological and logical responses we can use to refute them. He recommends Crescent Project's Bridges class for more in-depth training on how to build relationships with Muslims in your community.
Today we are remembering Nabeel Qureshi, a Muslim convert to Christianity, who passed away this week from stomach cancer at the age of 34. In his years as a Christ follower, Nabeel went on to study apologetics and theology, became a speaker with Ravi Zacharias Ministries, and wrote 3 books about his life, faith, and ministry to Muslims.
We've also invited our friend, Thomas Messick, from Crescent Project to talk with us about his ministry to Muslims and share his thoughts about Nabeel Qureshi. Thomas tells us about how he came to work with Muslims in ministry overseas and later came to work with Muslims in our community here. He shares some encouraging stories about Muslims turning to Christ.
We talk about the cost of faith for Muslims. To embrace Christ means to leave their entire way of life and to leave their family. Thomas encourages the church to step up and become the family and community that Muslim converts have lost.
Thomas talks about how Crescent Project equips Christians to reach Muslims and invites you to their upcoming national conference.
Links and Recommendations: Why this Muslim-turned-Christian speaker resonated with so many before his death at 34 -Ravi Zacharias for the Washington Post
Nabeel Qureshi - Gospel Coalition
Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity - by Nabeel Qureshi
No One But God: A Former Muslim Investigates the Evidence for Islam and Christianity - by Nabeel Qureshi
Answering Jihad: A Better Way Forward - by Nabeel Qureshi
Crescent Project
Today we are chatting about some current events, including the recent hurricanes, some 9/11 memories, and Mark's birthday.
We share a few personal memories of 9/11 and talk about how church services were different the following Sunday. We reflect on how our lives are different after that day, and how events like the recent hurricanes can affect permanent change in people's lives.
Regarding the hurricanes, Kirk Cameron said God sent the hurricanes for "humility, awe, and repentance." In contrast, actress Jennifer Lawrence said the hurricanes are punishment from mother nature for the election of Donald Trump. We talk about sin, repentance, and the gospel, in light of natural disasters and other crises. As believers, we have to trust that God is in control and works for his glory.
Finally, we share a few suggestions for how you can help with hurricane relief.
Woman with Brain Cancer Who Chose Baby Instead of Chemotherapy has Died
Kirk Cameron on the Hurricanes
What is God Saying to Us?
Feed the Hunger - donate to help provide meals for hurricane relief efforts
Samaritan's Purse - donate or volunteer to help with hurricane relief
In this episode, we discuss how to talk to your children (and others) about transgenderism and other LGBT issues, from a Biblical perspective. We recently witnessed several young children at the playground conversing with each other about LGBT and transgender issues. It was surprising to hear that type of talk coming from children.
If we as Christians believe in the authority of scripture, then we must continue to uphold God's created order for our identities, our marriages, and our families. How can we engage with people on this topic when they don't embrace the Bible as the inerrant word of God? We need to love them, while compassionately discussing the issue of identity, sin, and failure to believe who they are in Christ. This isn't just an issue of dealing with gender confusion. We all fail to identify with Christ when we sin, regardless of the type of
We need to love them, while compassionately discussing the issue of identity, sin, and failure to believe who they are in Christ. This isn't just an issue of dealing with gender confusion. It's a sin issue. We all fail to identify with Christ when we sin, regardless of the type of sin. Helping people to understand their identity in Christ is the catalyst for change in behavior.
We encourage you to practice hospitality not only to your like-minded church friends but also to people that you may not feel as comfortable with in your home. We believe this is the way to connect with and show compassion to people that need Jesus.
Mark and Micah are back from vacation so we're returning to dialogue about current events and culture. After several recent protests related to racial issues, we're discussing how to talk to our children about these racial issues.
First and foremost, we must understand and teach our children how the gospel unites all people under Christ. For those with younger children, when and how do you begin to have conversations about hard topics like this?
We talk about early American history and the failure of the church to recognize racial prejudice as a theological issue. Ultimately, this is an issue of understanding our identity in Christ and dealing with the sin of racism in our hearts.
One way you might start a conversation with your older children about racial issues is by watching a movie, such as Remember the Titans, and discussing it together. Another way to help your children learn to show respect to other people is to introduce them to disabled people or people of different ethnic backgrounds in your community.
Shawn closes with some thoughts about the table of nations in Genesis and how that relates to us as New Testament believers now.
Today, we are departing from our usual discussion of church and world events to conclude our three-part interview series. Next week we'll be back to talk about some of the important current events that have taken place in the past couple of weeks. We hope you enjoy getting to know more about Shawn's work in the Navy as a submarine officer.
Shawn begins by sharing why he decided to enlist in the Navy instead of pursuing a traditional college education. He also tells the story of how he ended up in Nuclear Power School. Providentially, a couple of years into his training, he was offered a chance to become an officer through a commissioning program and spent 3 years earning a Chemistry degree at Auburn University while on active duty.
Shawn talks about some of the challenges and opportunities that came with being in the military. He shares some of the ways he was able to disciple and encourage people during his time in college and his time on the submarine. He also talks about why he left the Navy and how his leadership and teaching experiences have transferred to business and church eldership.
Today, we are departing from our usual discussion of church and world events to continue a short interview series. We hope you enjoy getting to know more about Micah's work and ministry background.
Micah grew up as the oldest of seven children and as a pastor's son. He was saved as a child and anticipated going into ministry as an adult. Following college, Micah returned home with his new wife and began to work with the housing contractor he had worked with in high school. Around that time, the housing market crashed, leaving Micah looking for a job. Through providential circumstances, Micah was hired by a local marketing firm where he has worked for the past eight years.
We talk about working in business while feeling called to ministry. When is it best to get a job and provide for your family and when do you pursue ministry opportunities? Micah shares how God has provided ministry opportunities through his work in the business world.
Today, we are departing from our usual discussion of church and world events to begin a short interview series. We hope you enjoy getting to know more about us and our backgrounds as we interview one another. Mark begins by sharing his testimony and call to ministry. He tells how he met Cindy in college, eventually married her, and started a student ministry.
Early in Mark's preaching ministry, another pastor criticized his preaching. Though it caused some discouragement initially, it ultimately forced him to ask "Am I doing this for the Lord?" and "What does the Lord want me to do with my gifts?". Those questions gave him direction and motivation to continue in ministry.
Mark also talks about why and how he works as a communications professor and as a pastor. We also discuss how people are called to ministry in different ways.
Mark and Micah talk about their recent missions trip to Moldova and we share our philosophy of ministry regarding church missions trips.
We talk a little bit about the value of taking kids on missions trips. Mark had the opportunity to take each one of his children to Africa before they left home. Micah reflects on the benefits of traveling with his father to do missions work as a teenager.
We compare and contrast mission trips that are designed to meet physical and economic needs vs. trips that are focused on equipping leaders. Both can be beneficial, but our recent trips have been more focused on training and equipping local ministry leaders.
In Moldova, Mark and Micah taught the men Biblical leadership concepts from Mark's book, A Faithful Man. They also gave instruction on Biblical eldership and shared the discipleship process Antioch has used to train up new elders. These are areas where their church leaders have not received much training, so they were very eager to hear and implements the teaching they received on these concepts.
Today Shawn and Micah chat with a special guest, Tony Rose, about civility in public discourse. Tony serves on a local school board, so he has some insightful comments to share regarding public dialogue and conversation.
Conversation in our culture has been changing the past few years, as evidenced by the most recent Presidential election cycle. People can no longer agree-to-disagree. Responses are no longer logical arguments, but personal attacks. We share some personal experiences when poor argumentation, poor journalism, and personal attacks made it difficult to remain courteous in our responses.
Tony offers some helpful thoughts about how we can have more civility in our political and cultural conversations—disagreement is not a lack of civility; everyone you meet knows something you don't know; don't take disagreement personally; don't consider politics a competitive sport.
Shawn and Micah take over the podcast, while the beloved professor, Mark, is off on a European vacation. Following his vacation he'll head to Moldova, where Micah will meet him, to do some pastoral discipleship & training with believers there.
Today we chat about the overwhelming amount of information coming at us every day, through social media and other avenues, and how to deal with the pressure that comes from living up to everyone else's standards. We perceive a crushing weight of expectations, from the church and people around us. How do we know if we are doing the things that God call us to, without feeling the burden of others' expectations?
This isn't really a conversation about time management, though our busyness can contribute to the feeling of overwhelm. We can be busy doing "good things" and still feel as though it is all futile. We talk about how to choose the "first best thing," which requires discrimination and discernment.
Are we prioritizing the right things? One way to find out is to ask your wife. Ask her to share 1 or 2 things that are a priority for your family. Work on those things to develop a new habit. Growth takes time and patience.
Ps. 4:6-8 There are many who say, "Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!" You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Today we are discussing a couple of the current Supreme Court cases regarding religious liberty and how they affect you. Why are both the Trinity Lutheran Church Supreme Court case and the case regarding Masterpiece Cake Shop important to the average Christian?
We spend some time discussing the First Amendment and free exercise of religion, and a quick history of the Blaine Amendment. The First Amendment includes free exercise of religion, but it isn't freedom from religion.
We also discuss the Masterpiece Cake Shop case. The owner, Jack Phillips, never refused to sell baked goods to the gay couple, but because of his faith, refused to use his design skills to create a unique cake celebrating a gay marriage. This is not a case about discrimination, but another case about the free exercise of religion.
Can Christians keep their beliefs private and keep them out of the public sphere as many would have us do? We don't think so. How can we share our beliefs publicly with gentleness and respect?
1 Pet. 3:15-16 - "but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as Holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame."
Happy Independence Day! Today we chat about Independence Day celebrations and early American history.
Shawn recommends The Vanishing American Adulthood by Ben Sasse, the senator from Nebraska. Sasse shares some alarming statistics about how little American adults know about our country's history. We also quiz each other on some American history facts. Do you know the answers?
We share some ideas about how to celebrate Independence day with your family. Our families like to read from historical documents and patriotic poems, such as Paul Revere's Ride.
Finally, we share a couple of entertaining fireworks stories and Independence Day memories. Want to find out what happens when you set off a "sparkler bomb" in the vicinity of a former Navy Seal?
How are you celebrating Independence Day with your family? Are your kids learning the true significance of this holiday through your traditions? We'd love to hear your ideas!
Are you managing your time wisely? American culture seems to celebrate busyness, but is this really healthy? Today we chat about time management, stewardship, and some techniques we use to manage our own time well.
We talk about getting up early to use the quiet morning time wisely. Shawn makes the case that good time management starts with a good night's sleep and a regular morning routine. We recommend a few books that we have found to be helpful in creating routines and priorities.
We also talk about planning ahead, for the year, for the month, and for the week. We each have regular habits and routines (family dinner, for example) that are the priorities. Then we talk and pray about other opportunities and choose the best things. We like to do the hard things first. We also highly encourage you to put your phone down and consume less media.
Finally, Micah talks about creating flexibility for meeting other people's needs. We have a tendency to make all of our decisions about ourselves, but our time is not our own. As believers, we need to be available to serve other people as needs and opportunities arise.
Today's episode is about raising our children to be best friends. How can we help our children to value their sibling relationships and continue as friends into adulthood? Mark & Micah talk about how the Fox family worked to promote good sibling relationships and how that has carried over to their current relationships now that they are all adults.
Mark says spending time together is key to developing good relationships among siblings. The Fox family made the effort to play games together, read together, work together, and spend time just talking...even when the children were less than enthusiastic about it. They made an effort to guard evening time and limit outside activities so that the family could eat dinner together regularly.
As parents, we can help build good relationships among our children by planning intentional family time, but we also need to be careful about how we talk to the children about each other. We may be unintentionally fueling competition and comparison by pointing out their strengths and weaknesses to each other.
We also talk about how we can encourage the older kids to develop discipleship relationships with their younger siblings. When older children are willing to teach and give advice to younger children, the younger children feel loved by them and will continue to go to them for counsel.
Finally, we encourage you to make it a habit of praying for your children to love each other.
Do you have any other ideas or stories of things that have helped you to raise children to be best friends? We'd would love to hear them!
We open with a chat about Father's day and couple of funny kid moments.
Our main topic of discussion today is encouraging our wives to use their gifts. Most of the women in our church have chosen to stay home, spending the majority of their time raising their children. But many of our wives have other gifts from the Lord that they can use in ministry or business to bring glory to Him and to build up the body.
We have friends that teach dance at a local Christian arts studio. Other ladies spend time teaching at homeschool co-ops and organizing homeschool events. Some of our wives have creative sewing, decorating, homemaking, and DIY skills that they use in ministry or business. And others educate and encourage healthy living & fitness. All of these can be used for the glory of God.
We want to encourage our wives in their primary roles as wives and mothers, while also encouraging their them to use their gifts in other ways outside the home, as time allows. We talk about how to balance primary and secondary activities, both in our lives and for our wives.
We would love to hear how you encourage your wife to use her gifts (or how your husband encourages you, if you are a wife) and what those gifts are!
School is out here in North Carolina and it's time for summer vacation! Today we chat about building memories through family vacations.
Mark and Micah share some of their annual family beach trip traditions. What started out as a single family vacation has grown into a large event with all of the kids, their spouses, and children enjoying the beach together. Some of their favorite family memories are crab hunting at night, question nights, games & movies, and family devotions.
We also talk about some of the reasons we put off taking vacations. Financial issues can be one reason families don't vacation, so we share some ideas about how to make vacation work when finances are tight. We also talk about how visiting extended family isn't necessarily restful, so it's important to have vacation time set aside in addition to visiting relatives.
Rest is a spiritual discipline. The Old Testament feasts and festivals teach a pattern of rest and rejuvenation. Whether you can afford a traditional vacation or just take time at home to disconnect and rest as a family, your family will benefit from that rest.
This week we are answering a listener question about age-integrated church.
He says, "I'm intrigued by this age-integrated church idea. Our church has lots of programs and sometimes I wonder if we are losing community because of it. How about a follow-up program where the Professor summarizes his book...?"
We start by sharing our church backgrounds and talk about how we ended up in a church that promotes family-integrated worship. Then we share our observations about the benefits of age-integrated worship.
We view our children as participants in worship, rather than as distractions. We consider them part of the body of Christ and able to serve in ministry with their families. We train children to become men and women and include our teens in the men's and women's ministry events.
We teach that parents should continue to be the primary disciplers of their children, but that doesn't mean that we don't have other programs and meetings to disciple church members and develop community. We have regular family & community events, as well as ministry meetings for men and women and age-integrated small groups. We do have targeted programs for a season, as the Lord leads, to meet the needs of the body, including Bible studies for specific age groups.
The fruit of decades of age-integrated church is that the majority of our young people are not leaving the faith, in contrast to the church in general. Many continue to worship and serve at the church. There are several multigenerational families that attend and worship at our church together. Others have grown up and been sent out to serve in various ministries and communities around the world.
We end with some recommendations for books and websites if you would like to further explore the idea of age-integrated church.
This week, we discuss managing your family's tech habits. As smartphone use has grown in the past few years, more and more families are fighting the negative effects of technology on their time. While computers and smartphones are valuable in many ways, we need to make sure we are modeling healthy tech habits to our children.
We share a couple of extreme phone addiction cases, as well as some of our personal habits and struggles. We each use apps & tools that help us organize our lives. But there is always a danger in good things becoming idols. How can we balance smartphone use and guard against our phones becoming an idol? We have a few practical suggestions.
Mark talks about the students in his college classroom and some of their tech habits. He requires students to keep their devices put away and asks them to take notes on paper. Many of the students find that they learn more from writing notes and listening without distraction.
We also recommend a few books we've been reading that address the topic of personal and family tech habits. If you have any phone stories or tips for managing your family's tech habits, we'd love to hear to hear them!
Today we tell the story of Antioch Community Church, and it's 30 years of healthy church growth. As a church, we just celebrated our 30 year anniversary.
We chat about how the church began and how God used circumstances early on to shape the church into what it is now. Mark and the original elders didn't set out to build an age-integrated church. We talk about how God brought about that change in thinking. Circumstances required that we include children in the service, but we continued doing it after we saw the benefits. It wasn't until a few years later, Mark realized that "family-integrated" churches were growing across the country.
Micah talks about why he moved back to be a part of the church after college. We have several families with 3 or more generations. Children that were raised in the church, have followed Christ and continue to stay and serve with their growing families. This is uncommon. What draws many of the young people to stay and be a part of the church?
We also talk about some of the challenges that our church has faced in the past 30 years, including disagreements in the church and situations where families left.
We are thankful that God has blessed Antioch with 30 years of healthy church growth and we look forward to what the Lord will do in the future!
Today we are talking about some of the challenges blended families face. Though none of us come from blended family situations, we do shepherd blended families in our congregation. With over one-third of marriages now resulting in blended families, the church needs to be involved in encouraging and ministering to these families. We discuss how we can better love and minister to blended families in our church.
Blended families face many of the same challenges that traditional families face, but often with the added challenges of parenting step-children and complicated expectations. As in any marriage, regular prayer and communication are vital to a thriving blended family marriage.
In a blended family, it can be tempting to have a child-centered marriage, but it is important to make a unified marriage the priority, while still pursuing the hearts of your children and step-children.
As a church, we can help to support the blended families by including them and recognizing that they may face additional struggles in their family dynamics. Children may be living in different homes at different times of the year. We can reach out to these children and include them when they are attending our churches. Parents may be struggling when their children are living with another parent. We can sympathize and encourage them through these circumstances.
Today we are talking about how to cultivate prayer, both in our personal spiritual lives and in the church body.
A couple of years ago, we taught on prayer at our men's retreat. The most helpful resource we have found for cultivating a stronger prayer life is called Praying the Bible by Donald S. Whitney. He teaches a simple method for using the words of scripture to guide prayer, which we spent time studying and practicing. Many of the men in the church have reported stronger prayer habits after changing their method of prayer to include praying through scripture.
We also share some practical tips on prayer. For example, try walking to help stay focused during prayer time. Leave your e-mail and the news until after you spend time with the Lord. Recognize that you won't have soul-stirring experiences every day, and remember that the daily discipline still produces growth. Set aside times for intentional prayer, but also be ready to pray spontaneously throughout the day.
How should we respond when our wives are discouraged about their appearance? Today we are talking about protecting our wives from discontentment with their physical appearance. We discuss how to encourage our wives and guard their hearts from cultural influences and impossible standards, while our society promotes the idea that women should look flawless and never show signs of aging.
We talk about a recent article from Fox News, in which one of the news anchors writes about the severe side effects of cosmetic surgery she had undergone. Her elective procedure was to combat the effects of aging, but she later regretted the decision. She wondered how the outcome would have been different if she should have been content with her body.
How can we guard our wives hearts from discontentment and encourage our wives as their bodies change and age? We need to be praising our wives for their character. They need to feel their value is in more than just how they look. Wives and daughters do need to be told they are beautiful, but we need to emphasize the beauty that comes from Christ in them.
As men, we need to guard our own hearts against criticism and comparison. When we notice imperfections in our wives, we need to deal with that sin in our own hearts so that we can help our wives fight their own discontentment.
Also, Mark admits to sneaking out and stealing his parents car when he was 15…
Today we are talking about protecting your marriage. A couple of weeks ago, Mike Pence was criticized for protecting his marriage by refusing to dine alone with a women who is not his wife. Also known as the "Billy Graham Rule", Graham kept this standard in order to protect his reputation and the reputation of his ministry. Both of these men understand that we are sinful people, living in a world that is watching us live out our faith.
Pence and Graham set a good example by setting high standards for themselves. As Bible-believing men, we need to be thoughtful about ways we can protect our marriages. Most of the men in our church meet in weekly accountability groups, which includes some questions and discussion on this topic. This is one way our men encourage each other to keep high standards and guard their marriages.
We also talk about some practical ways we protect our marriages in our our different work environments. Mark has always employed his children to do administrative work in the church, and he doesn't counsel women alone. Shawn manages a team that includes women. When he meets with them (both the men and the women), they meet in a room with a window. Micah's team often travels to offsite meetings, so they avoid driving alone with people of the opposite sex.
Our wives are a treasure. We want to honor them by guarding our marriages and maintaining trusting relationships with them.
We open the episode talking about Easter, Holy Week, and some of our church traditions. One of our favorite traditions is our Good Friday service. For the past few years, we have had seven men speak on the seven words of Jesus on the cross. Each man speaks for five minutes, sharing some insight on one of those statements. Each year this has been an encouraging service for our church body. You can listen to a service from last year on our church website.
Then we move on to our main topic for the week, practical tips for instilling masculinity in our boys and femininity in our girls. Current culture is attempting to blur the lines between what is masculine and feminine. In order to promote complementary Biblical roles of men and women, we need to be intentional about encouraging masculinity and femininity in our children.
One of the main ways we encourage masculinity in our boys is by modeling masculinity to them, while our wives model femininity to our daughters. Our roles and work in the home are different; masculine work is typically more physically demanding and feminine work tends to be more nurturing. That doesn't mean women can't work outside or that men can't cook a meal. But God specifically designed men to do jobs that require strength and risk, while he designed women with specific capability to care for and nurture people.
What about men that may not be physically able to do hard manual labor? How can we instill masculinity in other ways? In our church, we provide time for the men and women to have separate times of fellowship. We include our teen children in these events and encourage them to fellowship with men and women outside of their age group. We also discuss how we can include our children in work around the house (even when it makes the work take longer...). As they get older, let your boys hang out and work with other Godly men and your girls spend time with other Godly women.
We'd love to hear more from you about this topic! How do you promote masculinity in your boys and femininity in your girls?
Today we are talking about comforting people in their suffering. How can we come alongside Christians that are suffering, with compassion and hope? People suffer and respond to suffering differently. We need to look for ways to encourage fellow believers with truth and kindness, without trying to fix their circumstances.
We share a few stories of friends and church members that we have walked beside through suffering. Currently, one family in our church that is going through a significant trial. Their faith-filled suffering has been such a great encouragement to the church body. Every time they speak, the church is blessed by their honest words of faith in the midst of uncertainty.
We also talk about some ways that we can meet practical needs. Sometimes we just need to "be there" with people, and sometimes we need to cry with those that are hurting. We can provide meals or childcare to those might be overwhelmed with life.
In closing, we remind you also to "set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Pet. 1:13)
What should we do when our family members have opposing views? One of our listeners suggested this topic, so today we talk about how we can be gracious & loving while confronting moral issues with these family members. Can we still have fellowship with family members that have different views than we do? We think you can.
Sometimes people confuse preferences and principles. We discuss some examples and talk about how we can have conversations about our preferences, while still being gracious.
The command to love takes precedence over being right about our issue. God commands us to love our enemies. While "enemy" may sound harsh, we often make enemies of people that oppose us, even people in our own family. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that without love, we are a noisy gong or clanging cymbal.
Our first duty is to love and pray for these family members, in hopes that God, through the gospel, will change them.
Today we are talking about how to share the gospel with your children and how to recognize salvation in your children. It's important not to coerce our children into professing faith under pressure. How can we communicate the gospel to our children and offer salvation to them without creating false converts?
Many children raised in Christian homes may profess faith at young ages. Sometimes Sunday school teachers and youth group workers can put a lot of pressure on children to "make decisions for the Lord." What fruit should we be looking for to confirm true faith in young children? How can we tell the difference between repentance and sorrow over getting caught in sin?
What can we do to encourage our children toward salvation? We should require obedience. We should be speaking the gospel to our children every day. We should be encouraging our children to read the Bible for themselves, as well as reading scripture to them regularly. We should be praying for their salvation, both with them and in our private prayer times.
We also discuss when we should allow our children to be baptized. We encourage you to wait for your children to come and ask you to be baptized. This can be another confirmation of a true conversion.
This week, we're discussing Biblical hospitality. We read an article that claims the key to evangelism in the 21st century is hospitality. Do you agree? We talk about the importance of hospitality, examples of people that were changed by hospitality, and excuses we make for not inviting people into our lives and homes on a regular basis.
The gospel recounts many episodes of Jesus eating with people as he ministers to them. He ate with all types of people. Meals build a bridge between people that might not normally come together. In our experience, inviting people into our homes encourages people to open up and share more of themselves, just as they did with Jesus.
We encourage you to welcome all people into your home. Invite people that aren't like you. Not only will you bless others, but you will find yourself blessed with a broadened perspective on different cultures and worldview. Many international students have never been invited into an American home. There may be refugees in your area that would love to develop new friendships and practice their English. What about your local law enforcement officers or other community leaders? Think outside of your close friends, and invite someone that might be a challenge.
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling." (1 Pet. 4:8-9)
Today we are talking about fur babies vs. children, and why raising children is worth the effort. A growing number of young adults are opting to adopt pets in place of having children. Meanwhile, birth rates are dropping. We share a couple of funny, though slightly disturbing, stories about people that value animals too much.
We also discuss an article by John Stonestreet, Fur Babies: Pets, Children, and the Triumph of Autonomy, in which he writes:
"Another thirty-year-old, writing in Charlotte Magazine, wrote about how she went from wanting to be a stay-at-home mom to a pet parent. In her words, pets 'give us a greater purpose without making our lives mainly about theirs.'
While there is something “stunning” about such 'self-centered transparency,' as Mattes put it, we shouldn’t be surprised. It’s the logical outcome of the triumph of personal autonomy in the West. We exist for our own benefit and pleasure, as do our children and our pets."
While pets can bring comfort to people, they are not equal to people. Human beings alone are made in the image of God and have eternal souls that live forever. That is why we put the effort into raising children. Shawn finishes with a story about the eternal rewards of raising children for the glory of God, which stands in stark contrast to temporary worth of "raising fur babies."
Today we are talking about financial stewardship, a topic suggested by one of our listeners. He asked, "How should we as Christians handle money, and how should it look differently from how the world handles it?"
Shawn shares a few things has learned from reading The Treasure Principle: God owns everything, I'm his money manager; my heart always goes where I put God's money; and live with an eternal perspective. Then Micah talks shares how the principles from Financial Peace University has benefitted his marriage and helped him to develop a healthy perspective on managing family finances.
We talk about faithfulness in financial matters and how the way we manage our money displays the condition of our hearts. We also talk about some financial pitfalls and what we've learned from them.
In the end, finances are a theological issue. The Bible teaches us many lessons about managing money well. We need to be teaching our children to be wise with their money. We need teach them to give by being generous ourselves.
So what is the difference between believers and unbelievers in financial matters? Giving generously is a good thing, but many unbelievers also give generously. The difference is that Christians recognize that where our treasure is, there our hearts will be also. (Matt. 6:21) We know that God owns all that we have, and we ought to be ready, willing, and able to give when God calls us to give.
In this episode, we discuss how we can exercise Biblical discernment regarding The Shack movie. But first, we chat about some recent news items, including the passing of Norma McCorvey ("Jane Roe", the face of the Roe v. Wade case) who became a pro-life activist and believer in the Lord.
Back in 2007, The Shack, a best-selling book by William P. Young, became one of the most controversial books among Christians this decade. Many readers felt it was life-changing (in a good way), while evangelical leaders overwhelmingly encouraged caution and discernment in reading the book. The un-biblical view of the Trinity, along with other concerning theological implications that direct readers away from the word of God, are dangerous!
This month, The Shack is being released as a movie. We discuss Tim Challies' recent article outlining his view that the movie violates the second commandment. We also talk about exercising Biblical discernment in watching movies like The Shack. As Christians, we must be equipped with scripture in order to converse with our friends, applying the wisdom and discernment of the Bible to our arguments.
While there are concerns about The Shack, we talk about how the story speaks to people that are hurting, assuring them of the love of God. We can use this opportunity to speak to and encourage our friends, from a Biblical perspective, about the love of God and the healing that comes only through Jesus Christ.
In this episode, we are talking about ministering to and discipling men in the church. How are we drawing men and keeping men in Godly relationships in the church? How are we training and discipling them so that they are flourishing in their relationships at home and in the church? How do we train boys to be men and keep them engaged in the church as they mature?
The conversation today is broader than usual, but this theme of building men into leaders is an integral part of our church discipleship efforts. Our vision for the church is to empower men to be spiritual leaders in their homes, but there is no formula. The reason that we work toward building up men specifically is because it leads to flourishing both in the church and in our homes, as husbands and fathers.
How can you draw in and disciple men if your church is struggling in this area? One way is intentionally building relationships through hospitality and forming close friendships outside of the church on Sunday morning. Close relationships require vulnerability. Many times that feels risky, but it is worth the risk to build godly relationships as we "bear one another's burdens" and so fulfill the law of Christ (see Galatians 6:2).
We have a guest with us in the studio today! We're talking to our friend, and fellow church leader, Scott Hahn, about how Christians are reaching refugees and his experience working with Feed the Hunger. Scott has first-hand experience working with refugees and people in poverty in many countries around the world.
With a growing global population and ability to travel as never before, we have unprecedented opportunities to share the gospel. God is sovereign over the strangers and sojourners. People are moving, sometimes from closed countries to open countries, allowing them the opportunity to hear the gospel for the first time. Scott shares some stories of refugee populations his ministry has helped and how he has seen the Lord at work.
We talk about how we can help our children to develop a heart for refugees, strangers, and sojourners. We recommend intentionally exposing your children to different people and cultures. Whether it be as a short-term missions trip, attending worship with people from other cultural backgrounds, or inviting people to your home, your children will gain a broader perspective of people from different cultures.
Lev. 19:34 You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am theLORD your God.
Today we are talking about preparing your children to leave home. We want our children equipped to leave and live on their own. Parents need a clear vision for their sons and daughters, and they need to pray for guidance from the Lord.
Mark shares the lessons he has learned after launching 6 of his 7 children. Shawn and Micah talk about some of the things that their parents did to prepare them to leave home after graduating.
We talk about how to develop a vision for raising our children. And we discuss some of the foundational things we want to teach our children before they leave. The Bible clearly teaches that men and women have equal, but different, roles. We discuss the difference between raising daughters and sones, including how to prepare young men to lead their families, and how to affirm and prepare our daughters to be wives and mothers.
We begin with quick discussion of current events, including our thoughts on Vice President Pence's speech at the March for Life. He urges love, gentleness and generosity among Christians in the pro-life movement. We also have a few comments about President Trump's current immigration order and the current status of the refugees, with more to come on this next week.
Also, today is the last day to enter our book giveaway. Just leave a comment with a topic suggestion to be entered to win. We appreciate your feedback!
Valentine's Day is coming up soon! Despite being one of the biggest commercial holidays, it's a good opportunity to express love to your wife. In this episode, we talk about loving our wives and showing them affection not only on Valentine's Day, but every day.
The Bible instructs us to love our wives, and live with them in an understanding way. We share practical suggestions for loving our wives (both on Valentine's Day and the rest of the year), showing them kindness & understanding, and meeting their needs. We find our wives value things like meaningful conversation more than expensive gifts. Most of these ideas are inexpensive or free, but they do require being disciplined and purposeful in how we communicate with our wives.
We know that communication and relationships aren't perfect. We encourage you to ask your wives what they want to do on Valentine's Day to make sure your expectations match. We also share some encouragement for wives with unbelieving or disengaged husbands. Pursue the Lord with all your heart and allow God to change the heart of your husband.
1 Peter 3:7 - "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
Today we are talking about effective family worship, a topic suggested by one of our listeners. Andy asked, "How can we have have effective family devotion times with 6 kids from age 2 to 18?"
Before the family worship discussion, we start out with a quick discussion of current news, including of the upcoming inauguration of President-elect Trump and the exit of President Obama. We also talk about the Women's March on Washington and the Right to Life March, contrasting the news coverage the two events receive. And just for fun, we talk about the Penn State student, "Squirrel Girl," who has named a campus squirrel and dresses him in costumes.
For the rest of the episode, we discuss family worship. First we define what we mean by family worship or devotions. We share some of the different ways our families (and others that we know) have made family devotions work for their families.
Many of our Christian friends have never been taught to gather their families for worship and devotions on a regular basis. Or maybe they desire to, but don't know how to get started. We believe it's an essential part of discipling our children. We discuss how to get started and how to keep children of all ages engaged in family Bible study.
With a renewed enthusiasm for Star Wars following the release of Rogue One, we thought it would be a good time to discuss the spirituality of Star Wars. In particular, Rogue One emphasizes the religion of Star Wars more than previous episodes. In one scene, for example, a monk prays to the Force, as though the Force is a conscious higher being.
Because we enjoy Star Wars and watch it with our families, this needs to be a point of conversation in our homes. We need to be discussing the religion and spirituality of the Star Wars films, making sure that we affirm the truth of God's word.
It's too easy to shrug off the spiritual themes as "harmless," when, truthfully, we are easily influenced by the media we consume. "If you are not confident in the authority of the scriptures, you be a slave to what sounds right."(Matt Chandler) Let's make sure we are filling our conversation with scripture so that we can be discerning consumers of the media in our home.
Happy New Year! It seems that 2016 is being remembered as one of the worst years ever. Celebrities dying, Brexit, the election...
How do we, as Christians, respond to this cynical attitude? There will always be sin in the world until Jesus returns to restore all things. So, will next year really be better? We need to find hope in something more than the events and circumstances of the times.
We spend some time contrasting the foolishness of the world with the kingdom work that is happening every day. While we can appreciate the contributions of people like Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, we need to keep them in perspective. Their impact will fade away, but the impact of a man devoted to the Lord will have impact that lasts for eternity. We talk about our friend J.L. Williams, who passed away this week, and the faithful life he lived that impacted many for the Lord.
We also talk about our goals and planning practices for the 2017. Shawn talks briefly about his reading goals. Micah shares how he and his wife plan a yearly overnight getaway to look at their goals in the areas of finance, ministry & spiritual disciples, child training & marriage, homeschooling, and health. Mark also recommends a list of questions from Don Whitney to prayerfully consider at the beginning of each new year.
Finally, we announced a giveaway we have planned, beginning January 4th. More details coming tomorrow!
The end of the year is a natural time for reflection and planning. One thing we like to do is consider the books we've read, meditate on what we've learned, and make plans for next year's reading. Today we are talking about our favorite books of the year and some of the lessons we've learned from them. All of our recommendations are listed in the show notes below.
We talk about Bible reading plans, our favorite ways to listen to audiobooks, and then discuss the most impactful books we've read this year. We encourage you to read broadly and share our recommendations for both Christian and non-Christian books on a variety of topics, including business, history, social issues, and fiction.
Merry Christmas! This week we are sharing our favorite family Christmas traditions. We start with some funny stories about our family traditions, including ugly Christmas sweaters and tree hunting in the backyard. Some Christians argue against celebrating Christmas because of its "pagan roots." We believe that it's important to remember and celebrate the first advent of Jesus Christ, which encourages us to look forward to His second coming with great hope. We encourage you to enjoy giving and receiving gifts, while being purposeful about celebrating the birth of Jesus. We also talk about how we can be intentional in teaching our children the true meaning of Christmas. We share our recommendations for family advent devotions, some opportunities to give gifts to children in need, and some of our favorite Christ-centered Christmas music.
Today we are talking about sports, something that we love to watch and play. We enjoy a good football game, but sometimes the love of athletic competition crosses the line into sports idolatry. Anything we are willing to sin to get or sin to keep becomes an idol, something we treasure more than the Lord. Let's examine our mindset toward sports to make sure our priorities are in the correct order. How much do sports affect your relationships with other people, your mood, and your responsibilities in other areas of your life? What does your relationship with sports communicate to your children about what you value? We need to make sure that our children see us treasuring the Lord above sports.
More and more, young men are dropping out of the labor force and withdrawing from leadership at work and in their homes. Today we talk about working hard in our jobs and in our homes to model a strong work ethic and effective leadership to our children.
The work culture has shifted so that most of us can't take our children to work to learn alongside us. It's a challenge for dads to engage in training & discipling the children when they spend a large portion of the day away from the home. This means we have to work harder around the house to create these learning opportunities for our children.
We not only talk about encouraging our children to work hard physically, but also how to disciple and train them spiritually. As Christian men, we need to be able to delegate some of the training to our wives and other teachers, without becoming passive. It's challenging to find a balance between "ruling with an iron fist" and abdicating our responsibilities as fathers. We also talk about how important wives roles are in encouraging husbands to lead well.
This week we are talking about some issues going on in the world and in the church regarding race & politics. People of all viewpoints are provoking "the other side" out of fear and confusion. Though the reaction to this election has been polarizing, we know the racial & political tension can be overcome by the gospel. The blood of Jesus brings unity and tears down boundaries between races and political parties. We discuss how the gospel must be the driving force to overcoming racial and political tension in this country. We also discuss a book by Benjamin Watson, tight end for the Baltimore Ravens, about racial reconciliation, Under Our Skin. We briefly share our thoughts on the election recounts and Mark talks about finishing an ultra-marathon last week.
Today we discuss Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping. How did Thanksgiving start? Why are so many Americans confused about who the Pilgrims were giving thanks to? We start off with a discussion of food—bacon stuffed turkeys and why submarine food ruined Thanksgiving dinner for Shawn—and move on to a discussion of extending hospitality and family Thanksgiving traditions. Then we discuss the craziness of Black Friday shopping.
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Are you feeling the post election blues? A lot of the country is feeling insecure and unsettled about the election results. Today we talk about the election and share our thoughts about Mr. Trump's win and his actions so far. We chat about Mr. Trump's plans, his interview on 60 Minutes, and how we can pray for him and his family. Shawn shares how Psalm 146 can encourage us to put our hope in the Lord.
I (Mark Fox) team up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about why we re-branded the podcast. We introduce ourselves to the listeners, and we share a “Bizarre in the Gate” story and a “Reading in the Gate” encouragement about a book for advent entitled, Prepare Him Room.
Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about Halloween and how the culture and the church tend to deal with it.
Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about the culture of political correctness that has grown to a ridiculous level in our nation.
J. Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about the need for men to balance exercise, nutrition, rest, and work.
J. Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about the question of church leadership, and the future of how church leaders will be trained.
J. Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about the upcoming election. We also revisit the Colin Kaepernick anthem issue.
J. Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about the purpose and the power of home groups in the church. We discuss some do’s and don’ts and share the good, the bad, and the funny.
J. Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis (the officer) and Micah Fox (the president) to talk about the use of satire in Christianity, especially the Babylon Bee, which refers to itself as “your trusted source for Christian news satire.” http://babylonbee.com/
J. Mark Fox teams up with Shawn Curtis and Micah Fox to talk about two issues: Colin Kaepernick and his sitting during the national anthem, and what people look for in a church.