Style and Soul Reformed Bite-sized Podcast: Recent Episodes
Christy Teloh
Christy Teloh delves into the world of the fashion industry mixed with motherhood, surviving failures, starting over, building self confidence, fashion/lifestyle tips and more. www.stylereform.fashion IG: @stylereform FB @stylereform Tik Tok: @stylereform
Welcome to Love Money Magic. I'm Christy Teloh and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey. So, picture this: bustling streets of New York City, surrounded by the vibrant energy of the fashion industry. For me, it's been more than just a career—it's been a haven of incredible women. Building bonds with these strong, beautiful, and ambitious souls has been an absolute joy. And you know what the best part is? Sharing our stories.
Through countless conversations, I've realized something profound: at the core of it all, we all crave two fundamental things in life. Yep, just two. First up, we've got love, purpose, belonging, you name it—basically everything that makes our hearts sing. And then there's money, abundance, financial freedom—the stuff that keeps our wallets happy. Funny thing is, we're often taught to keep these topics hush-hush, which only breeds shame and avoidance.
But here's the deal: it's time to break those barriers. That's why I'm here, ready to dive deep into discussions with incredible women like you. We're talking about love, money, healing, growth—you name it. Because together, we're not just here to survive, we're here to thrive. So buckle up, because we're about to soar and prosper together. Let's do this!
What does your emotional home look like? What are the thoughts you think regularly and the emotions that you create as a result? Is it clean and pristine? Is it messy and chaotic?
In this episode I am talking a bit about my journey. My story, what has been in and on my heart. You can hear in the episode, my struggle in real time as well as my outlook on how to move forward in the best way that I know how. It's pretty raw and vulnerable which is all a part of my healing journey. My hope is that anyone listening can connect to thier own truth from my story.
In the past I could've called myself the queen of beating myself up. Negativity and self doubt were definitely a big issue for me. I'm in the process, obviously not perfect, but I am catching myself as my thoughts pass through and I'm correcting them. Treating those thoughts lightly and gently pushing them past and replacing those thoughts w/ a funny inside joke or simply telling myself 'Remember who the F you are'....haha.
Do you experience fear and self doubt? What do you do to combat it?
Have a listen to my process of un-doing the past and redesigning my future.
About 4 years ago I decided I wanted to be happy. I decided to figure out the root of why I wasn't happy & I decided to start making some major changes in myself. Now that I have some perspective I can see that it stemmed from the fact that I didn't like myself, I didn't love myself and I didn't even know how to start this process. In this episode I'm talking about the process that I went through and continue going through to free myself from myself in terms of self loathing, judgement, self doubt and liberate myself on a whole new level. Life is a process and I'm not waiting to find happieness I'm learning to be the happiness.
I'm not gonna lie, this past month has been one of the more challenging times in my life. I've had to revisit a lot of my childhood trauma and it's been really really painful for me. What I'm realizing is that you can heal from the pain by doing the work of having deep empathy for your past self and your current self, through journaling and through forgiveness. It takes a lot of courage to do what you need to do to heal but with time and practice I'm seeing that it can be a very freeing experience. Growth is painful but it is worth it.
It was my birthday this week and I'm reflecting. I'm thinking about my life and just life in general. I truly believe that everything in your life stems from a place of how you see yourself. I've been on an emersive journey of doing only the things that align with my mission of being the best version of myself. I've opened up my perspective on myself, my beliefs, my intentions. How do you view life and yourself?
I am completely obsessed with getting to the next best version of myself in all ways. As a result, I like to reflect to asses how I've improved every now and again and I smile when I do.
Things that once put me over the edge no longer does, my relationship w/ myself is easier. I look at myself in the mirror differently, less judgemental. It's all a process but I'm glad im on this journey. What do you do to make improvements on yourself? How do you look at yourself in the mirror?
As I learn and I evolve as a human being, I'm discovering subtle nuances of how to strengthen myself, my faith, my confidence and how to dissolve my fears. A level of awareness of myself and my purpose are becoming a bigger and bigger force from within. It's all seemed abstract up until the past few months but as I know myself, when I get something and it resonates, it becomes me. This is the stage that I am in currently. As I have previously mentioned, it's uphill, it's hard to get there..I'm not there yet but when you get to resting points along the way the journey starts to make more and more sense.
I'm getting into the idea of how much control you feel you have over your life. I've gone through a good majority of my life feeling like didn't have the majority of control over my life. That way brought me to a place of feeling lost, helpless and victimized. I was really not happy and feeling pretty defeated.
Since learning how to command control of my focus, my thoughts and my emotions, I've become more empowered. I'm shedding the 'victimized' part of my personality and emerging with so much faith, love and hope for my beautiful future. It's a journey and a process and I'm just feeling grateful that I get to live from this different perspective moving forward in my life.
My mission in life is to evolve into the best version of myself possible. I'm talking about the process of how I'm inching my way into the unfolding of that woman. Rehersal is a part of what I'm doing to walk into the energy of who and what she is. The empathy, the creativity, the love, the abundance, the health and the energy that I want to be. Life is not static. We need to be intentional on what we want and move in that direction daily.
I'm getting into all of the things I'm realizing do not serve me anymore. I'm catching all of the repeated things I have on a loop in my train of thought, things that I find myself making excuses on repeatedly and just stop to think for a moment to see if these are things that are helping make my way toward my goals or hurting my process. It's also a matter of stopping patterns to re create new more empowering patterns. Things that allow me to move my life forwad to more joy, more peace, more abundance and being a bigger version of myself.
I've been on a journey of doing a lot of undoing to get to the core of who I am and what I want for my life. Part of that is defining new beliefs. Beliefs in myself, my capabilities, what I can learn, what I can do and who I can become. Do you put focused energy on bettering yourself? It's become my mission in my life to be the best person I can be and I see improvements which spill over into all aspects of my life. I'm so grateful.
I've met so many awesome entreprenurial women during my year of discovery (2022 is the year of new connections for me) and I was so excited to disucss all things with Jessica AKA Honest Cravings. She's a mom, she's a marketing expert and she is an influencer....She's also in the midst of a move with 2 little kids and a husband. The juggle is totally REAL and we are having real girl talk on how she handles it all.
After studying and learning about the happiest and most successful people in the world, I've noticed there is a common thread between them all. They practice gratitude. Gratitude is something that I practice every single day. I ackowledge that I am blessed for so many small and big reasons and I literally stop to say 'Thank you' for them regularly. It helps me to create what I call little spontaneous bursts of happiness throughout my day. It makes me a happier and better person and it enhances my life. Learn to be happy through gratitude and it will change your life.
This week I'm interviewing Emily Samuel of Emilyy_fitness on IG, and owner of Travel Well. I've known Emily for several years now and I've seen her grow and evolve on her entreprenuerial journey. We talk about her struggles, her lessons and her over all resilience as she continues to make her way to becoming her best and strongest self. She's such an inspiration. Have a listen!
In moments of life....being triggered, feeling annoyed, being impatient, feeling disappointed I've realized that my default mode is to freeze. I know that about myself now and I've been observing it as it happens. It's really become an amazing tool I can use to move through situations in a way that makes me feel in control. Feeling like a victim of my circumstances is no longer an option for me in my life. I feel empowered and it feels awesome.
I don't think I'm alone when I say, I am a recovering people pleaser. I was a good girl, a rule follower and I survived well as a child, teen and young adult as such. As I started to mature, have bigger goals, have my children, navigate a life w/ my huband and so on, things have changed. Walking on eggshells just doesn't work anymore. Not sure that I was ever happy doing it, just did it because it felt right....for everyone else I suppose.
I am a work in progress. I regress sometimes and sometimes I'm strong. I'm learning to have compassion and patience w/ myself as I type this and I'm determined to be the very best version of myself :)
I'm taking responsibility for my life and for my feelings. I'm owning the fact that I can choose how I decide to react to my feelings, how long I let myself sit in the feelings, and pivot into feeling a better type of feeling that can serve me. OMG what an uphill battle this can be...but...with time, with practice and with belief you can become the master of your fate an the captain of your soul.
As I make my way through this journey called life, I realize that everything that I have been through and experienced has been FOR me and not happened TO me. This is a big shift in thinking for me. It's made me feel empowered to make the changes in my life that I have needed to make. It's uncomfortable to take responsibility for the aftermath of what has happened in life, espeically when things are painful. It is necessary to move on and this is the key to freedom.
In this epsode I'm chatting with Lisa on the question that many moms ask after their kids start to grow up...'Now what?'
After devoting many years to pregnancies, breast feeding and raising babies, what do we do after they start to grow up? Lisa gets into her journey of making the decision to start her own business, the growing pains, learning new things in a new industry and how it has grown in just a few short years and opened new doors of opportunity within her small community.
In my journey of growth...growing myself/growing my business I've leared that in order for me to have more, I have to become more. Become bigger, stronger, emotionally, mentally, resilient, courageous and move through life despite my fears and insecurities. It takes me a long time to learn, but when I do, I do not forget and it becomes a part of me. I have known this and never truly given myself credit for this. I feel like we all have this super power. It's just a matter of how many of us are willing to wade through the redundancy of making it part of who and what we are when building our charachters.
I'm wading through a tough season and I'm not going to lie, it's not easy. I have noticed that I'm less of a wreck than I would've been even a few years ago. Doing the 'work'..meditation, daily exercise, healthy eating, catching the negative self talk, etc and etc has helped me level up. Dealing with life, circumstances disappointments and tragedies will happen. You need to be prepared to handle life as it happens and my practices have reinforced my belief that I can get through anything. I like myself, I love myself and I will get though and be stronger, wiser and better for all of it.
Being small (personality, emotionally and professionally)is how I played most of my childhood into my teen years and also into my adult life. It made it easier for me to feel invisible and play into that small space. I didn't have to try very hard or accept responsibility for myself or my outcomes as long as things looked OK on the surface. Not facing fears was my M.O.
I think over the past 3 years I've started unpeeling those layers that have held me back. It has allowed me to open and experience an authentic freedom from the mental and emotional 'prison' I had built up. My evolution still unfolds on a daily basis but the fact that I've started this process makes me feel very grateful and proud.
I'm reflecting a lot this wk. On a lot of things...my progress as I'm on this mission to take total control of myself, the reactions to my feelings, my goals and making all of my dreams come alive. It's an inside job. It is a full time gig to catch myself, my limiting beliefs and my judgement of myself and course correct it. I'm not going to quit doing it but it is not easy. Just talking through some tacticle things that is helping me. What do you do to take charge of yourself and your life?
As I continue to evolve and grow, I'm trying to figure out a lot about myself from what I listen to. Staying neutral in both high and low situations is currently what I've been pondering. How do you feel when you get upset...I mean physically. Can you catch yourself before reacting? How do you feel when you are ecstatic? Can you control yourself then? I'm talkign through the ideas on being neutral to be able to empower myself and control my life through controlign my thoughts and emotions.
What I'm realizing more now than ever is that I and we are all interconnected from a spiritual standpoint.
We all have a heart, a soul and our own personal purpose in life. We all want to be seen, heard, feel like we belong and that we are loved. As I navigate my own journey of self discovery I'm just chatting about my own shifts in the puzzle of life to make things come together to make clearer sense to me.
I think I went quite a while avoiding all of the things I wasn't comfortable with. It was easier for me than facing the facts of all of the unknowns. In this episode I'm talking about being ashamed of things, facing them head on and moving past them in productive ways. What are the things you know you aviod in your life that you know you need to deal with?
Taking responsibility for my own pain is something that has really enhanced my life in a way that I never knew possible. Feeling empowerd to own my own life, my own circumstances and my own reactions to things has allowed me to take ownership over myself. It's allowed me to free myself of being the victim of my life and it's relieved me of a lot of pain I've held onto from the past. It's been quite a process, I'm still processing it but what I do know is that until you are able to own your life you will never be totally free.
The unfolding of my development over the past years has been quite the journey. Certain days have been slow and felt painful and other days are liberating and freeing. It is what we call doing 'the work'. As much as certain times has brought me to my knees, I am grateful for all of the things I have learned about myself, the things I have let go of and the things I have been able to forgive.
I have a lot of trauma from my past regarding money being tied to my self worth, my freedom and my value as a wife and mother. I have had to heal a great deal of all of these falsehoods and am still in the process of doing so. I remind myself of who and what I am daily in my meditation and prayer. I have come to the realization that money is only a piece of paper, it's an exchange of energy for a service or a product and it is not tied to someone's heart or soul. It gets wrapped in a lot of emotional baggage but that is just us as humans putting labels and judgements on the exterior things in life. Just talking through my process of understanding the difference between me and my bank account.
I absolutely love speaking with people that align with me on a spiritual/heart set level and Amanda is one of those special connections that I have made. Amanda is an amazing model/actress in LA and she delves into her path navigating Hollywood and working on making her dreams into realities. Her story involves incredible reslience, faith and good old fashioned hard work. She's a strong, beautiful and inspirational force with so much more good ahead of her in her journey.
Throughout my journey of unpeeling the layers and knowing myself on a deeper level, I have come to learn that faith along with doing the work and having a knowing ness is the recipie for success. I have heard stories that include the same principles over and over again. I am in the process, I am working on myself and my company and I am working as if...as if I have already achieved my goals, working as if I already have the money, planning as if I have the headcount. This is me betting on myself.
This week's female business owner is Holistic KV. She's an amazing Tik Tok'er that started her wellness and lifestyle account a few years ago and also a former NYC Fashion industry buyer. We are talking about her journey in NYC over 10 years of the fashion hustle as well as her decision to jump off of that train and into the world of being her own business owner.
My question is this...Do you let your emotions take control over you? Do you identify AS your emotions? There have been times in my life that I have literally felt posessed by my emotions...my anger, my resentment, my jealousy & my fears.
I have recently declared that I am working on never being 'shook' by the outside world again. By things that happen in life...stresses, disappointments, losses, etc. This is a lifetime of work ahead of me but I will get better and better with everything I overcome.
What do you do to strengthen yourself?
If anyone has ever tried to build something out of nothing, they know that it takes some trial and error. In building her businesses over the past 17 years, Sidra Rubin takes us through her highs and her lows and how her ability to pivot and go with the flow is what has allowed her to come out on top.
The idea of suffering was singular for me for many years. I thought of it as the physical idea of suffering. What I now realize is that we as human beings live a life of suffering. We suffer emotionally ie: anxiety, worry, self hatred, stress, self doubt, etc. It's endless really. The only prision we have is the prison of living in our own heads, our own misery. What I realize is that there is a way out. It's a practice of not letting your feelings control you. Empowering yourself to think and feel and be the way that you choose. Take care of your body, exercise and eat well. Take care of your mind...meditate, breathe slow down your racing thoughts and take care of your soul by reaching inward to tap into what brings you alive.
Feed your faith and face your fears. Do you know how real that feels to me right now? Part of the evolution process is being more of who you are and in the direction of your goals. Without faith you don't move without courage you won't grow.
Working on overcoming myself every single day. What do you do to improve yourself?
Building a business is definitely not for the faint of heart. Jenelle Hamilton, owner and CEO of Jenelle Hamilton PR shares her story of resilience, grit and good old fashioned pure faith. Starting her business from her laptop at home she nurtured and grew the business into a leading Bi-Coastal PR Agency with multiple employees and locations across the US.
I got to thinking this morning about myself and how I let things into my mind....and then I go run with them. I have done this for the better part of my life where I take something some one said or did or I took a rejection or a comment and I turned it into a whole story. I let my mind run w/ the thought which turned into an emotion and then I let it stop.... Stop me from moving forward most of the time.
This episode is about starting the practice of building a mental armor. Not letting things into my frame of thinking that does not serve me or move me towards my dreams and goals.
Do you let people affect how you feel and react to your life?
It has been quite a journey of discovery to go from self loathing to self loving. The first step in the process is realizing that the feelings that I had about myself were very negative. Once I realized this I was able to start taking steps to change it. As you start the process to loving yourself I believe the tools and the insights come to you if you are looking for them. Once you start the practices the momentum builds and the pieces of what you like about yourself start to build you up. It's a beautiful process that doens't quite get to an end. You just need to keep on going.
Are you holding onto things that have hurt you in the past? Do you know why you are doing this? Does it feel familiar? Are you open and willing to free it so it can free up your mind, heart and soul for better things that can serve you? Just a conversation about how I've been able to let that grip of resentment loosen up to allow me for a better, happier and more expansive life.
Understanding how true confidence is built and what truly being confident means has proven to serve me well in becoming the best version of myself. Wearing the mask of being cocky, impatient and mean has been my way of showing my fears & insecurities in the past. I now know that confidence is all about what you think and feel about yourself from a cellular level.
Thinking deeply about a profound quote that I heard this past week. 'An undisciplined mind is a dangerous mind'. When I think about this it really amazes me how soft I have been most of my life. It's also very crazy and beautiful for me to see how much pushing myself has allowed me to grow emotionally, spiritually, metally and physically. This is what our life, fulfillment and happiness are all about. How far are you willing to push yourself to achieve great things?
I've realized that there is a lot of 'undoing' I need to do within myself to have the life that I want to live. Negative thinking, self doubts, fears, etc. In realizing this, I see that the advice and converstaions that I have with my kids is the life advice I need to impliment myself. I find myself parenting myself as I guide my kids on their own paths. It's a really beautiful realization to see how far I've come and how much I can teach my kids from an early age. Grateful!
By the adult phase, most of us have been beaten and bruised a bit in life. It's the times in my life when I've fallen off of my path that made me realize I needed to go in another direction. The universe has a way of guiding us and it's only our job to have faith that it's the right way to go. How many times have you tried to resist redirection?
Growing up as one of the only Asians in an all white world, I wanted to fade away and not stick out in the way I always felt I did. Just reflecting on my journey of finding myself, growing up, healing and discovering what the truly pretty part of myself is.
On my journey of self awareness I reallized that I care about what other people think. More than I was even fully aware of. When I noticed this, it allowed me to free some of the weight I carried around with me regarding people's opinions and judgement of myself. Life can be tough and our thoughts and opinions can be very crippling if we don't take charge of what we allow ourselves to think about. Be good to yourself!
I remember when I graduated from college and wondering how I was supposed to 'learn' after my formal school training. This was pre YouTube and the internet was not what it is today. I realize now that I spent many years coasting and working my way up the corporate ladder but not exploring my mind, my heart and my soul. This left me feeling very empty and purposeless until I began doing the work on knowing myself, my heart, my desires and my passions again.
In my 45 years of life I've seen some painful experiences, set backs and disappointments, for sure. What I now realize as I'm able to reflect is that live serves us experiences, painful, joyful, exciting and so on. What we do with these experiences is what shapes our future. Are you going to take those lessons and use them or are you going to let them use you?
I'm taking charge on my own terms.
It's taken me a lot of mental digging and healing to figure out that I'm not going to wait around for my whole life to figure out how to be happy! Talking about my process, touching on my past and looking at my systems in place to live my happiest best life.
The discipline and reward of meditation has been a real emergence of a new way of life for me. Starting my practice 3 years ago was not easy and it felt very difficult. It was something that i wanted to learn and would force myself to do every single morning. Fast forward to today, I still meditate but my brain, my body and my soul feel aligned when I sit to do my 15 min practice in the morning. I literally trained myself (almost like an animal) to be deliberate about how I wanted to set my day up for success.
Who out there practices meditation? I can honestly say it's changed my life.
I can honestly tell you that learning to like and to love myself has been a long and painful process. Coming from a home where children were to be seen and not heard was one of the obstacles I needed to grow from as well as societal pressures of being a girl. Taking you through my process of building up my self esteem, confidence and trust within myself which has brought me to a place of self respect and in turn, love.
When we think of disease we typically think of diseases of our body but I want to talk about diseases of the personality. There are 3 that I specifically acknowledge: Pessimism, Excuseitis and Procrastination. I have struggled my way through living with them and then being aware of them. I can now recognize these 'diseases' as they crop up in my life to redirect myself to a more empowering thought/belief/action.
I don't know about you, but I've always found the word GRIT annoying. Over the past few years I've been tested and have a full and personal understanding of the word. It has a whole new meaning for me in my life in terms of discomfort, fear and turning those negative emotions into resilience. Just talking about my journey of getting tougher and less soft.
After reflecting this morning and thinking about my past, I realized something....I have spent a majority of my life not realizing that I can be deliberate about my day, which leads to weeks, months and ultimately my life. Being intentional about how you want to move in the world is your responsibility. It is our choice and is what creates a life. Do you move through your life being deliberate about what you want to achieve?
Who do you allowed in your world, in your space? Your partner, your friends, family, co-workers. Do you realize the impact being around these people has on you, your mindset and your wellbeing? More importantly, how do you let your inner voice speak to you? Are you hard on yourself? Do you like yourself when you're by yourself? Are you encouraging and deliberate about what you allow yourself to think? Taking a deep dive into the inner trappings of what we surround ourselves with.
I have a responsibility to be my best self. In my quest to be my best, it requires me to constantly circle back to who and what I am and what I want to be. It requires me to remind myself that I am not my past, my thoughts and my emotions. I don't need to feel and be so owned by all of the weight I carry around. I can let go of it. I can free myself of the burden of feeling inadequate or insecure. As I often say, life is a journey and a practice. We fall off the path sometimes and the only thing we need to do is redirect and take one step forward.
This week I'm talkin' about how I need to regularly remind myself that I need to not hold onto the negative thoughts that will randomly pop into my head...mainly about myself. Automatic Negative Thoughts ANTS have played a leading role in my head for a good part of my life. It's not the easiest thing to overcome but I'm working on it....daily and as a result, I'm noticing I'm a happier person.
Until I learned that I was not my emotions, I was not able to understand that I didn't need to be defined by them. It's a process of letting go, healing, realization of myself and forgiveness of myself for myself. I feel better, younger, more free and alive and happier than I have when I was in my 20's. I've learned so, so much over the years. I went thru a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering in the past but now that I know better I can live more free.
I'm in a place in my life where I am the most aware of myself than I have ever been. I love being free of the weight of all of my own judgement of myself. It opens you up for a life of more happiness and ease. Just a bit about my thought process on freeing myself from my own mental prison.
In my youth, rejection had put me in a place that has made me feel defeated, deflated and I have deeply judged myself based on being rejected. Over time, I have decided to reframe the idea of rejection. I now look at it as an indication that I need to pivot. It's not something I pour a ton of energy into. It is something that I need to learn from and take a new and better direction. Our perspective is everything in life.
If you asked me a few year's ago if I knew how to build self confidence I don't think I would be able to clearly answer that question. Over my 2.5 year journey of self discovery I have come to realize that self confidence is literally your opinion of yourself at a core level. Do you trust yourself, Do you like yourself, Do you keep your word to yourself, Are you a good friend to yourself? All of these things add up. They add up to who you believe you are, what you think you're capable of and how you go out into the world.
Join me in my convo about how my definition of self confidence has transpired over the years.
I believe that self awareness is a super power. If one can access their true self it is a real asset. When I sit in silence I can tap into the true essence of who and what I am but if left to my own devices, I'm just going rogue in a world of emotion and thought. A short convo of my thought evolution of self awareness.
How do you perceive obstacles, issues and problems? How we asses and handle ourselves in these matters means EVERYTHING. I'm breaking down my thoughts and perspective on handling stressful situations and how much relief I have when I just have a shift in thinking. How do you handle yourself when you're up against the wall??
Do you realize that our brains are hard wired to default to a negative place? Taking a deep dive on Dominant Negative Thoughts and how to become aware of them as well as overturn these negative ways of being.
I think a lot of times we walk around just completely unconscious of ourselves...that is how I functioned for a hard 40 years of my life. In pain, suffering and unaware of why I felt the way that I felt. With the unfolding of my self awareness, I'm not realizing that we have several sides to ourselves...one being the 'devil' side...self sabotage side and the other being the 'angel' side....my present day self aware side that 'parents' my insecure side and coaches me to let go of my weaknesses and work on the becoming of who and what I want to be.
Join me in my convo about self sabotage.
I believe the best way of figuring out your blocks or your weak spots is to look at your insecurities....the things that you fear, shy away from or completely ignore. The things that make you uncomfortable. What are these things, why do we feel that way and what is the earliest memory you can remember where you formed this belief?
These are the ghosts that live in our subconscious. They are the 'thoughts'/feelings and ideas that we base our decisions on. Sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. It can be a very slippery slope if we do not sit back and recognize these. Join me on my journey of self discovery and how to set yourself free of these burdens.
After years of feeling out of control when it comes to finances, I've finally decided to face my fears and take control of my life. It's the most empowering feeling to know that I can learn my way into financial freedom on my own. Not taking responsibility tied me into so many levels of insecurity that I felt helpless and victimized until I realized that it's not a man's sport, it is a human sport and my responsibility to take control of my own life and finances. It's really motivated and excited me to start my learnings on this journey!
A deep dive this week into the world of self respect. Do you have respect for yourself? Do you trust yourself to keep your word to yourself? This is a basic foundation to love yourself and affects how we go out into the world and develop relationships. A little convo about how I go about the practice of Self Respect.
I have thought a lot lately about how I've lived my life over the past 4 decades....What I'm proud of, what I would like to change, how I've changed certain ways and behaviors, and so much more.
An overarching consistency has been never really wanting to be fully accountable....a big part of this is because of my fears...failing, looking stupid and all of the can of worms that hold my insecurities. As I work on overcoming all of these things, it brings me to the question...Who is in charge of your life?
Do you understand what the difference is between masculine and feminine energy? Do you understand the balance of it and that we all have aspects to our personalities of both? Diving into a convo a bit about determining the difference between these and exploring how to balance the two.
As I am on my journey of learning from the most successful, strongest and most accomplished individuals, I'm seeing their common thread. There is always a level of 'suffering' and sacrifice to achieve the extraordinary things that they have. How much are you willing to give up in order to make great things happen? How uncomfortable are you willing to get? Success isn't give to people who are average. It's given to the hungry, the desperate and the people willing to do the things that the others are not.
As one of 3 kids, there are always 'labels' that were put upon us, the hard worker, the lazy one, the selfish one...etc... Dissecting what this meant for us as a kid and then noticing how it has shaped us in our adult lives is key. Do we feel empowered by these lables? Are they true? Do they serve us?
Taking a deep dive into our labels!
The more I delve into the world of bettering myself and becoming the best possible human I can be, the more reinforcement I am getting in my research. We aren't just born good people, we need to shape ourselves day by day into the person we want to become and we need to reinforce this by the decisions that we make which form our values. It's a process and a practice. I didn't know I could or should do this or be aware of this but it Matters! It all matters...everything we do and say builds upon itself and in turn, it ends up becoming who we are. The work is all that really matters in our lives. Don't be neglectful!
For years I have heard that people who have had an awakening have done 'the work'. I have always been open and willing to do the work but I never knew what 'the work' was. This episode is breaking down the process a bit which led me on my journey of freeing myself.
As a kid I grew up in the generation where kids were seen and not heard. We were not 'allowed' to show our feelings, impose our feelings upon others or discuss them. It led me into a lifetime of feeling shame around being vulnerable and looking 'weak'. It's really a look at how I figured myself out as well as well the process to chip away at the pain and shame around it.
I think a lot of people carry around pain from their past...probably without even knowing. That was me. Living in a low grade depression for the majority of my life. I have since done the 'work' of figuring out why I am the way that I am and healing/forgiving myself from the mistakes that I've made and the hurt that I've felt. I'm taking you on the journey of seeing myself out of my funk.
Do you ever wonder how you truly feel about money? What it represents to you? Your meaning behind making it? Just diving into the idea that money is a super charged subject and how I look at money from a spiritual and entreprenurial point of view.
I have decided that loving yourself could be the most powerful and most important thing to learn in a lifetime. If we could look at ourselves and our lives through a less judgemental and more loving lens, we could simplify life so very much. What are you doing on a daily basis to reinforce the person that you want to become?
So much of what we are is from what beliefs we formed as children. As much as I don't want to admit it, it is very much true. I noticed myself walking around like an open wound after I got laid off from my job in 2014. I needed to take a deep dive on my fears, insecurities and self doubt. As a result, I decided to own my pain and forgive myself on many levels which has freed me from my invisible mental prison. Don't get me wrong, I still digress into dark places but I live knowing that the light is there and I just need to find it.
TBH I've been having a lot of anxiety over the past few weeks. In the past I would rush to 'fix' what was scaring me or making me nervous. I would be very reactive... It didn't end up being the right thing to do because I just wanted to fix the issue as quickly as possible. Instead I needed to accept and analyze the problem and sit in the discomfort. I'm practicing sitting in this discomfort so I can figure out my next best move and grow from there. It's not easy but I do it.
Most of the time when I record this podcast it is morning time which is my best time of day. Today, I'm recording at 6pm and I'm just feeling a bit drained, depressed and nervous.
What do you do when you feel off or low or just irritable? I am finding ways to cope w/ these feelings and not giving them so much credit. These feelings are NOT me...they are just chemical reactions in my brain and body that will pass. It's processing these feelings and letting them go. It's a practice and a process that I'm literally working through in this episode.
So I need to ask you, how much do you like yourself?
Who are you as a person? Do you love what you stand for? Do you love what you do? Are you working toward becoming a better version of yourself? So many big questions that I am constantly circling back to. This is my practice at becoming the best version of myself. What is yours?
Learning to meditate is a bitch but it’s turned out to be one of the practices that I use to improve my life and change my mindset. We come up w/ so many excuses to not do...not enough time, not enough money, not enough help, etc.
Let's take the energy we use to make BS excuses and do something to change our lives for the better. It starts with looking at ourselves, our triggers and our negative loops of thoughts which= emotions. Own yourself and take control of your monkey mind.
Goal setting has always been something I have loved since I was a kid. Setting and hitting goals was my MO and I spent the better portion of my adult life moulding myself into the badass fashion designer that I envisioned as a little girl. The problem....after hustling, sweating effort'ing to the top, I found myself feeling so empty.
Now, a solid decade later, I'm working on ME first and also going after my dreams. It's a wild ride and a practice. Let me tell you a bit about my journey.
Jay Shetty said "What you did receive and what you did not receive in childhood is what you seek out in your adult life." My first reaction to that was...?? Isn't that everything?
Turns out...no, it's not. It ends up being what you focused on as a kid in terms of where you did feel fulfilled and where you did not.
How has your past carried into your adult life?
We have all heard the saying that you are your own worse enemy. Well, the waves of emotion, self doubt, fear etc that sometimes come over me are that exact saying in full play.
The things I feel help me the most during these times is knowing the discomfort will pass, knowing that when I overcome this part of my life I will be stronger and knowing that all will be OK as long as my mindset stays strong.
Self love baby, self love.
I spent the majority of my life not knowing whatI felt about myself mattered. Living like this was a really volatile way of going about meeting goals and building myself up. How you treat yourself and how you feel about yourself dictates everything in your world and how you treat everyone around you as well. I want to teach people around me how to value ourselves, our opinions & our feelings. This, I believe, is where love is bred. It comes from within ourselves first and then we can share that w/ those around us.
Have you ever been backed against a wall with no other options...What did you do? Who did you have to become to move through it? How did you feel afterwards? This convo is about making the decision to make something work and all of the fears, anxieties and worries that need to go in order to make it happen.
Being an entrepreneur has literally been the largest evolution of myself as a human.
Who in their right mind would continue to go up against challenge after challenge and just not quit at some point?
That would be me...
Self awareness and self love is a must in this process of becoming. Whether you are going through any changes or challenges in life, you have to know that no matter what happens, you will ALWAYS be OK!
Over the course of my life, during difficult times especially, I have felt very much alone. There have been a few reasons that I've used as my crutch on why I've felt this way but really, it is because I wasn't able to see myself supported by a higher power.
The Universe has our back guys...Do Not Forget this....in the words of Gabrielle Bernstein!
Only after some of the most painful experiences of my life, have I ever decided to reflect and make some major shifts in my beliefs in myself, my life and how moved through the world. What are some of the lessons you have learned over the course of your life and what gems of blessings have evolved from them?
Do you ever feel totally disconnected from yourself, your beliefs, your needs, your purpose? Take the time, time is your most valuable asset. Take the time to do the work on aligning your actions, emotions and beliefs with your true self.
You are not defined by the way that you are treated.
Think about that, let it marinade. All of the times someone 'made you' feel badly about yourself and how that has shaped you.
It's a process, an imperfect process, but let's start building ourselves up from within so we don't let people dictate our worth to ourselves.
You are not defined by the way you've been treated.
Think deeply about that. How many times we have allowed people to 'make us' feel badly about ourselves. We have allowed those feelings of lack and unworthiness seep into our beings and determine the course of our lives. Let's figure out where these beliefs originated and begin the process of dissolving them. They do not serve us!!
We are discussing progress and how we need to be aware and appreciate even the littlest wins as a form of confidence building. If we are consciously aware of ourselves and what we are capable of controlling we can experience a level of freedom that we never knew we had.
Today's episode is about the overarching question, Why are we here and what are you doing about it?
Touching on my journey of being an entrepreneur and being able to change myself, my mindset and my thoughts to lead me to making my dreams a reality.
Happy New Year!! As I reflect, I have realized 3 main things that have allowed me to be free from myself. I want to share them with you in hopes that it opens you up for the same freedom.
Allowing, Learning new things and Judging less. Seems like a tall order, and it is, but the freedom you gain is nothing but pure beauty
Who do you base your opinions of yourself on? Do you base them on what you think, what others think? or maybe you base them on what you thought you believed but was actually the opinions of others from long ago. This is a conversation at getting to the root and believing that Empathy is the route to freedom, forgiveness and a beautiful outlook on life.
There is so much power to our language and words which translates into energy and emotion. How do we connect, are we understood? At times we make it so much deeper than it needs to be. Our life is ultimately about our connections w/ others and how we use our language to others and ourselves is everything.
Who is in control? You or your program? Let's take responsibility for ourselves by growing in self awareness, staying woke on when we are conscious or running on subconscious loops of emotion. Let's empower ourselves. Who are we waiting for permission from?
In my weekly search to find inspirational teachings, I came across Dean Graziosi. He teaches about an exercise he learned from a friend called the 7 Why's. It really helped me extract some of my painful past going 7 layers deep as to why I am the way I am. It is deeply introspective to figure out you Why so you can have it as fuel when you aren't at your best.
For my whole life when I thought about compassion it was something that I looked at as an outward emotion...to have compassion was for others. In the past year of my research into myself and becoming self aware, I realized that I never had any compassion for myself. I was very unforgiving and very very hard on myself. As a result of living this way, I suffered a lot and this outlook made it very difficult for me to have compassion for others as well. What I am now aware of is that compassion needs to be a 2 way street because when you can be easier on yourself the whole world softens and you can have a much easier, happier and fulfilled existence.
Only recently over this past year, I have been able to look at my own behaviors and BS and ID the source at where that stuff originated. Is it work, yes, is it necessary, also yes. Look at your triggers, your stuff, your self and figure out why you are the way you are.
As humans we judge even if we are not fully aware. What I'm learning is that every time I judge someone it is a reflection of something I may not like about myself or an insecurity that I am reflecting by noticing it in someone else. Self awareness is the key and going back to center is the ultimate destination.
The most up close, personal and intimate relationship you ever have is going to be with yourself. Did you ever realize that when something bad or good happens to you, you are the one always there? Start taking a deep dive into forgiveness, trust and embracing all of yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat your very best friend.
A growth mindset can literally set you free. I'm constantly seeking new ways of evolving and growing into the person that I know I am meant to become. It is a process and unfolding it is my life's purpose and mission
In this episode I get to the root of my tag 'Gorgeous is an inside job'. As a society, I think we hold materialism up on a pedestal of success. When we achieve and end up getting, getting, getting, we see the empty side of life. We need to do some digging and unveil the hidden truths of who and what we are to experience a true sense of being.
Being aware of oneself is one of the most important attributes a person can possess. So important to have an understanding of why and were your thoughts and feeling arise and if they do or do not serve you in the present.
What I wish I could tell my 20 year old self.
So many things that I've learned later in my life are the things that have totally freed me and propelled me on my journey to inner peace.
After ongoing discussions over the past few weeks, we have been internally discussing roles and responsibilities of both men and women functioning as engaged couples and transitioning into marriage. Is there a societal expectation or is it all just in our heads?
In the words of Brene Brown, "On the other side of Vulnerability lies access to all of the things we want and need in this world". We are talking about tapping into your own fears and weaknesses to grow into the person you want to become.
There are two things that I wasn't clear on but once I realized what they meant in my life, they opened me up to a whole new level of freedom. When broken down in my own personal journey, both worthiness and victimhood have limited me in huge ways that I will not allow any longer.
What I've learned is happiness is a journey, not a destination. It is something that we all strive for when in actuality, it's something we need to cultivate live on a daily basis.
Women, Men and Money....a lot of charged emotions around this subject matter and the start of how to create a positive harmony and flow collectively.
Being selfish is a good thing, contrary to popular belief. Your best interests should be your priority to lead your best most fulfilling life.
We are so conditioned to be 'who we are' when in reality we can change and create new and improved versions of ourselves. Emotionally, mentally and physically we have the control to mold ourselves into being the best versions of ourselves. Tips on how to start the process.
As women, how much time do we take to sit in silence?
Where do we lie in the order of importance?
Do we take care of our own needs?
Steps at learning how to prioritize on how to making our dreams come true!
A really BIG question you need to ask: Do I like myself?
We oftentimes don't even truly thing about this and it dictates our worth, our behavior and our lives.
Have an ask and let's start exploring your way to freedom.