Is It Normal? A podcast by The Play Philosophy: Recent Episodes

Rachel Walker

Struggling to make sense of what's 'normal' in relationships? Come hear me and my special guests answer your "Is this normal?" questions - by sharing experiences, stories and the colour and chaos of what it means to be 'normal' in understanding ourselves and our relationships. Trust me, you're not alone!

Your Host: Rachel Walker - Playful Mindset Coach. Articles, Coaching. www.theplayphilosophy.com

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Sometimes in relationships we get 6 months or 2 years, or 10 years down the line and we’re left wondering, have I changed? Am I who I thought I was? Is this a natural evolution of me or have I compromised on who I am to fit this relationship? Today I’m talking to Lisa Redmond about our experiences of feeling lost, and coming out of the other side more in tune with ourselves than ever before.

More from Lisa...

Lisa Redmond is a Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Teacher and Speaker. She helps sensitive women to improve their self esteem and relationships through her 1:1 coaching program.

http://lifedecodedcoaching.com/

Instagram: Life Decoded

Lisa’s Tiktok

More from your host Rachel... Relationship & Life Coaching

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

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Every relationship has it's doubts - but when does doubt go beyond the small everyday niggles, to a bigger problem? I'm chatting with Nurse & Life Coach Jenell Camara about her experience of relationship doubt going into her second marriage as a single parent. We talk:

  • Where does doubt come from!?

  • How can we tell when doubt isn't 'normal' anymore

  • What can you do to move yourself beyond doubt, and learn from the things you're questioning.

Episodes over at: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/24

More from Jenell:

Website: www.thisnurseknows.com

IG: @thisnurseknows_411

Facebook page: This Nurse Knows | Facebook

More from your host Rachel:

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

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How do we, as a society, define success? It’s a truly difficult question. Having money, nice things and a high-powered job all certainly end up at the top of the list. But does that mean that people who have those things are happy? Or does it just mean that they are disconnected? I talk all about it in this episode with Janine Aurichio. Janine is a Joy Master, Intuition Medicine practitioner, Whole Person Certified Coach and Recovering Approval Seeker.

More from Janine

www.yes2yum.com

Linkedin: Janine Aurichio

Meet Up Group - California

More from your host Rachel… Relationship Life Coaching

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Breakups are the single biggest catalyst for change in our personal lives. Whether it was a short or a long-term relationship, going through the process of breaking up is tough. But it can also be exactly what we need to become the great leaders we always knew we could be. How? I talk to Love & Leadership Coach Devika Dey about her challenging marriage and divorce- and how it developed her leadership skills.

Shownotes and blog at: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/22

Find more from Devika:

Linkedin: Devika Dey

www.devikadey.com

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This week I'm joined by Helen Barker, a Life Coach who works with people who want to be braver in their day to day life, stop people pleasing, start feeling confident in making their own decisions and build their self esteem and confidence. This week she sharing her journey with us, and how her pesky inner critic gets in the way!

We're talking:

  • Where our inner critics come from

  • The evolution of the inner critic - self awareness to self compassion

  • How we deal with ours, and what you can do about yours.

Shownotes at: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/21

More from your guest Helen: www.braveryoucoaching.com

More from your host Rachel: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

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Relationships are very complicated things, that’s for sure! But when was the last time you tuned into your gut – really felt what your instincts were about a relationship, and compared that to what society expects of you? Because I’m here to tell you today, what society thinks and what our biology says about relationships are two very different things! Today Niilante and I are unpicking the book 'Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray & What it Means for Modern Relationships' - it's a juicy one!

  1. Society vs Biology: which drives our concept of relationships?
  2. Why the idea of paternity certainty could be wrong.
  3. The Monogamy Cage - is Monogamy a falsehood?
  4. What this all means for our relationships.

Show notes and blog over at www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/20

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In the second part of my series about dealbreakers and standards in relationships, I chat with my guests about cheating, money differences, values and standards. And more importantly, how they impact our relationships. 

We cover:

  1. Is cheating a dealbreaker?
  2. Once a cheater, always a cheater?
  3. Money standards in relationships
  4. The impact of our value systems
  5. How standards can change over time.

Show notes and blog at courageouslyyou.co.uk/19

Guests: Cat Snyder, Eillie Wornell, Hannah George.

More from your host Rachel…

Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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Do you know what your dealbreakers are? And if you do, how much have they changed over the years? Have some disappeared, while new ones took their place? Or have some stayed firm all this time? In todays episode I'm talking to 3 of my good gal pals about what our dealbreakers are and what they could mean for your relationships.

Show notes and blog at courageouslyyou.co.uk/18

Guests: Cat Snyder, Eillie Wornell, Hannah George.

More from your host Rachel…

Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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How well do you know yourself? Odds are, that answer will be different depending on whether you’re single or in a relationship. But one of the most common questions I get asked by women feeling lost in their relationships is ‘is it normal to feel this way?’ Alexa Darrow and I are tackling this topic in todays episode! And yikes! It’s the most honest I’ve been so far…

We cover:

  • How Alexa got to know herself whilst being single;
  • How Rachel got to know herself whilst being in a relationship.
  • How enlightening (and difficult!) it can be from both perspectives.
  • How we lose ourselves, and how we can get to know ourselves again in relationships.

More from todays guest Alexa...

www.alexadarrowcoaching.com

Instagram: @alexadarrowcoaching

More from your host Rachel...

Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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Today I'm joined by my oldest friend, Hayley Davis, to talk about how she's struggled with obsessive thoughts, how not trusting your own thoughts can cause doubt in your relationships, and I find out what Hayley thought of my relationships aged 14!

We cover:

  • Obsessive thoughts & true crime - wanting certainty and answers

  • Obsessive thoughts about your relationship 

  • Why we have doubt about relationships

  • We share our advice for managing these thoughts.

More from your host Rachel…

Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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Today I'm talking to fellow Whole Person Coach Sheila Murray about what it really means to 'follow your heart' We cover... - How Sheila's own relationship wasn't conventional in terms of usual 'rules' and 'timelines'.

  • Why it's hard to follow our hearts

  • Where do we start!? What does following your heart actually look like? Sheila has some great tips for this one!

More from today’s guest Sheila www.sheilaanne.com

Instagram: @sheflowsandgrows

Facebook: @sheilaannecoaching

Linkedin: Sheila Murray

More from your host Rachel… Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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This one's for you if you fear that your relationship is failing or will one day fail. It's also for you if you feel like you have to fit a certain criteria, or live out your life and relationship in a particular way, to optimise the success of it.

  1. Challenging the view that because something ends, it has failed (5:06)
  2. How we define failure (and why it’s wrong)
  3. Why fear of failure is particularly strong in our relationships
  4. How it can impact us, our relationships and the choices we make.
  5. How to stop fearing relationship failure (11:55)

Show notes, blog & worksheet available courageouslyyou.co.uk/failure

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My first male guest! (That's right I do speak to men.. honest). Today I'm talking to Money Coach, Patrick Venn about the awkwardness of having the 'do I need to protect myself financially?' type chats with your romantic partner.

We talk...

  • How Patrick has moved from financial embarrassment to empowerment when it comes to money in his relationship.

  • Is getting a prenup planning for the divorce before the wedding? Or just good sense?

  • Why this dialogue extends beyond money to other types of 'value' such as contribution to the household.

  • How you can approach these conversations with your partner.

Episode shownotes: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/14

More from our guest Patrick...

www.patrickvenn.com

Instagram: @patrickvenn

More from your host Rachel...

Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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HOW TO episode. Following my 'Is it normal to compare yourself to your partner?' conversation with Sabrina, in this episode I'm talking through HOW you can use comparison to your advantage:

  • What Sabrina and I discussed that has framed this ‘how to’ guide today (4:04)
  • How you can start to understand how you compare in your relationships (7:40)
  • How you can create a more neutral perspective when comparing, and reframe it positively (15:28)

Workbook for this episode (along with full notes for episode) www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/comparison

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Today we're kicking off Series 2 with Sabrina sharing how comparison has shown up in her 15 year relationship. We cover...

  • How comparison shows up between partners over life changes including getting older and having kids.

  • How comparison can be self critical (should I be like them!?) and them critical (ffs why are they like this?!)

  • Why Brene Brown is wrong about comparison being the thief of joy (yes that's right, we said it!!)

  • Why comparison is good and necessary for making sense of ourselves!

Show notes at: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk/13 

More from our guest Sabrina:

www.sabrinacaverly.com

Instagram: @sabrinacaverly

Facebook: @sabrinacaverlycoach

More from your host Rachel:

Relationship & Life Coaching

Instagram: @courageouslyyoucoaching

Pinterest: Courageously You Coaching

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In today's bonus episode, I'm having a chin wag with Kimberley, an ex-colleague, ex-client and dear friend of mine about all the things our brains have been chewing over since we watched Netflix 'The One'. Spoilers will be heard!

Come listen to the unedited, full conversation!

  • What are the consequences of knowing your genetic love match?

  • Is it realistic? Would it be possible? Would it work?

  • How science and horoscopes play into our need for certainty in our relationships.

  • Whether we think it's a good idea, or potential for disaster.

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Host takeover!! This week I’m the guest, talking about my struggle with working out what’s ‘normal’ when it comes to my hormones and mental health. A huge thank you to Holly Maunders for taking over as host today and sharing her experiences too!

We cover:

  • How I’ve tried to manage Premenstraul Syndrome, from contraception to acceptance
  • How and why I decided to start anti-depressants for PMS, and what luteal-phase dosing is.
  • Why it’s SO hard to understand, talk about, and treat PMS and how you can get empowered with knowledge.
  • Why it’s a completely individual choice.
  • We discuss the stigma around medicating for PMS and mental health generally.

We share our experiences (we're not medical professionals). If you want to know more about managing PMS or are concerned about your mental health, please speak to a doctor or mental health professional.

Helpful Links:

What is PMS? https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pre-menstrual-syndrome/

The Book Hormonal by Eleanor Morgan

Article explaining the Menstraul Cycle https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/the-menstrual-cycle-more-than-just-the-period

More from Holly, your host - www.instagram.com/hollymaunders/

More from the guest, Rachel - www.instagram.com/courageouslyyoucoaching/

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

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Today I’m joined by an old colleague and friend of mine, Leah Morton, to talk about what’s normal when fighting with your partner in a media world that loves to observe drama. We cover:

  • What even is ‘fighting’? Conflict vs fighting.
  • Comparing how you fight with other’s relationships and what you see on TV.
  • How we manage crying (when sad, angry, frustrated) with our partners.
  • Our take on the ‘don’t go to bed with a fight unresolved’ advice.
  • Feeling your feelings but properly communicating.

More from Leah... https://www.linkedin.com/in/lclmorton/ 

More from your host Rachel...

Whole Person Coaching for women lost in their relationships www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG - @courageouslyyoucoaching

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This week I’m talking to Sex & Relationship Coach, Sky Studley, about how she’s navigated divorce, being a single parent and learning what her intimate needs are (and where she wants to get them met!). This week we’re on a shame busting mission!

We cover a lot of ground in this episode...

  • What are intimate needs? Emotional, sexual, physical, intellectual. And how do you ‘outsource’ these when you’re in a relationship?
  • Confronting the shame that comes with wanting more in a society set up for traditional monogamy.
  • Dispelling myths about ENM (ethically non-monogamous relationships e.g. polyamoury) and how these relationships can lead to better communication.
  • How the romantic fairytale adds to our confusion, frustration and guilt around what we want from our relationships.

More from Sky...

Sex & Relationship Coachingwww.openskyspace.com

More from your host Rachel...

Whole Person Coaching for women lost in their relationshipswww.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG - @courageouslyyoucoaching

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Today Dee, photographer and  business coach, is sharing how she ploughed through self-doubt, comparisonities and imposter syndrome to start her business.

We're talking:

  • self doubt as a right of passage

  • why your relationship is your business is so emotionally charged

  • how a whole life approach can help you manage doubt and not feeling worthy

  • reassurance that you aren't alone in this!

  • how to harness the FIRE in your belly to get this started

About Dee: Dee helps photographers & creatives turn their business dreams into a reality, as well as being a wedding photographer herself.

For coaching deelucicoaching.com

For photography denise@deeluciphotography.co.uk

Instagram: @deelucicoaching@deeluciphotography

More from your host Rachel -

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG - @courageouslyyoucoaching 

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Today I'm joined today by the fabulous and rebellious Sophie Luxton, to challenge all that we think we need to be to fit the box of 'good' mother.

Sophie is sharing her story of coming into these roles and using her rebel and inner problem solver to fight her way out of feeling a shadow of her former self.

We cover...

  • How marriage and motherhood can make you, not break you

  • How society defines these roles as the ultimate success (and how that affects our expectations)

  • Staying true to yourself when the stakes feel higher than they ever have before.

More from Sophie -

www.sophieluxton.com

FB Group - Epic Self Care for Mums

IG - @juicysophieluxton https://www.instagram.com/juicysophieluxton/ 

More from your host Rachel -

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG - @courageouslyyoucoaching https://www.instagram.com/courageouslyyoucoaching/

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Today I'm chatting to my dear friend, and fellow peppy 'nice' person Priya about whether we really are 'too nice'.

We cover:

  • What our threshold is for being ‘too’ nice (understanding, positive, empathetic, giving, thoughtful)
  • Are we pushovers? Balancing being 'nice' with not people pleasing or seeking validation
  • Is it healthy to have optimism as a coping mechanism?
  • How you can be strong and nice!

More from my guest Priya- https://www.linkedin.com/in/priya-palan-08600943/ 

More from your host, Rachel - www.instagram.com/courageouslyyoucoaching/

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

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Arghhhh... decision making!! That twisted, paralysing feeling we get.

I'm chatting with Jen Romero, Life Purpose Coach, about...

  • Why decisions are so paralysing (and how it doesn't need to stay that way).

  • Jen shares how she made difficult relationship, and career, decisions.

  • Fear of the unknown, fear of getting it wrong, and worry that there's no going back.

  • Taking baby steps and where to start with your decision. 

Find more from Jen at www.Jenromero.com including her free 28 days to create your dream life challenge.

IG - @jen.romero.coaching https://www.instagram.com/jen.romero.coaching

More about your host Rachel...

For Relationship Life Coaching - www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG (that's where I hang most of the time) - @courageouslyyoucoaching https://www.instagram.com/courageouslyyoucoaching/

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Today myself, and special guest Holly are diving into what it means to feel 'safe' in relationships - romantic and friendships.

We discuss:

  • How relationships change over time, and managing which to 'let go' of and which to hold on to.
  • The safety of belonging vs the safety of expressing your full self with other people.
  • How to tell the difference between the good discomfort of vulnerability and the bad discomfort of just not trusting someone.
  • What our guts are saying.

More from Holly - www.instagram.com/hollymaunders/ 

More from your host, Rachel - www.instagram.com/courageouslyyoucoaching/

www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

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In 2008, Steph made a New Years Resolution to use her crockpot everyday for a year. This one resolution has led her to build a career as a blogger, become a NYT best-selling author, appear on American TV and become an Expert in slow cooking and slow living.

In this episode we talk:

  • How she committed to her resolution, what helped her to stick at it.

  • The importance of feeling your feelings but acting on the facts.

  • What it means to build small habits and rewire your idea of 'failing'

  • To weigh or not to weigh? How we feel about goal metrics.

More from Steph...

https://stephanieodea.com/

FB - www.facebook.com/StephanieODea.author/

IG - @stephanieodea

More from your host, Rachel...

Relationship Life Coach - www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG: @courageouslyyoucoaching

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Sometimes in life setbacks or losses hit us out of the blue. Whether it's a relationship breakdown, physical injury, job loss, or just.. 2020(!!) we can be left wondering 'who am I now?'

Vanessa is sharing her story of how a bike accident left her with an acute concussion. We're talking about...

  • The ups and downs of the recovery journey

  • Why it's hard to ask, and accept, help

  • Self compassion

  • Wanting to be 'normal' and battling with uncertainty and time.

DOWNLOAD your complimentary copy of Vanessa's book here - https://pages.vanessawoodburn.ca/download-book 

More from Vanessa...

Health Coach: www.vanessawoodburn.ca

IG: @vanessa_woodburn

Facebook: Vanessa Woodburn - Health Coach

More from your host Rachel...

Relationship Life Coach - www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG: @courageouslyyoucoaching

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We're talking about why it's sooo hard to open up about money with your partner. 

  • How Sydney manages money in her relationship (especially in 2020!)

  • How money is a form of intimacy.

  • What does healthy money management look like in relationship?

  • Should you tell your family about your financial situation?

  • How you can approach money chats with your partner (will you do yours in the car, with wine, or naked?)

  • The importance of setting big financial goals as a team.

  • Why xmas and January is so hard financially, and how you can prepare at these times of year.

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We're chatting about what's too much or too little to expect in relationships...

  • How our early experiences shape our relationship expectations.

  • The ways we've been taught to want at a certain level (and why we're scared of being too needy).

  • Why having needs is a vulnerable place to be in.

  • Balancing basic needs vs over - dependance.

  • How to start understanding what you want to expect in your relationship.

More from today's guest Jerry...

Sex, Love & Relationship Coach - www.jerrysouter.com

IG: @thejerrysouter

More from your host Rachel...

Relationship Life Coach - www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

IG: @courageouslyyoucoaching

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In this quickie intro episode I'll be telling you: Who the heck am I? What is this podcast all about? And what juicy "Is it normal...?' topics I've got for you in this first series!

Subscribe on your fave podcast platform linked here - https://anchor.fm/isitnormal

My website: www.courageouslyyou.co.uk

My IG: https://www.instagram.com/courageouslyyoucoaching/