The Outstanding Life: Recent Episodes

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Have you ever felt like you are not in control of your negative emotions? Are you still holding on to that anger, sadness or maybe guilt towards someone or maybe even towards yourself? Why? Well, WHY doesn't really matter, does it? Because when you ask why, your brain is going to search for all the reasons to validate what you are asking and usually that doesn’t serve you at all! Does it?

There is a much better question to ask. And that question is HOW.

Yes, how? How can I let go of that anger, fear, guilt or whatever negative emotion I might have towards someone? That is a much better question because now your brain is going to look for a different set of answers that is going to help you let go of that!

Does it serve you to hold grudges, anger, sadness towards someone or something? Does it? No, it doesn’t. All it does is to take energy away from other things in your life! That’s it! Look, the longer you hold on to your negative emotions or feelings, the bigger they are going to get! And the more energy it's going to take away from you and away from your loved ones! So let it go! You are in charge! What you need is just to get some learnings out of it! You heard the saying, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!” So why would you do that to yourself? Think about it, how often do you feel angry, sad, guilty about something that happened only once? Why do you keep replaying that bad movie in our head? Why are we still holding on to that? Have you ever been into a movie theater and saw a bad movie. Yeah! Did you go back? No! Why would you do that to yourself then? Have you ever seen in the animal kingdom beasts and animals punishing or giving a hard time to another animal about something it did one time? Have you seen a lion beating up another lion over and over and over for a mistake they did yesterday? No! So why would you do that? And usually it's simply because we don't have any learnings out of it. It's because we haven't learned what we need to learn in order to let it go...

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"You will never speak English". I remember when I was 14 years old, my English teacher back home in Paris delivered those words to me. She decided that I wasn't going to learn or speak English ever! She said, "Ricardo, you will never speak English".

Now think about this, have you ever had anyone around you decide to tell you something about what you could do or not when it comes to your dream or goals? What if we listen to those people? What if we decide that what they say was going to become a reality how our life will be different? That's why you should never listen to people who tell you that you cannot do something because after 20 years plus of studying and learning about people's psychology or behavior, I learned that the reason some people might say things like that comes down to two reasons.

One, they never had done something similar and they don't want you to do it neither and they might be close friends or family and hear me here for a second. Many of them said those things because they want to protect you, that's right they don't want you to get hurt but the challenge with that is there is no growing, there is no learning in life without breaking through some of the challenge or obstacle that we put in front of us and yes we do put those in front of us, how? Well the moment you decide to create a big dream, a big goal in your life to achieve something the moment you do that, you're going to create new challenges in front of you. You're going to have to learn new skills, you're going to have to overcome your fear, you're going to have to break through all the things that you create in your life and some people call that risk. I call that growing because there's no growing in life if you're sitting at home watching TV.

There's no growing if you don't have a big dream. There's no growing if you just talk about something you want to do and you do nothing unless you stretch yourself, unless you become uncomfortable unless you take action, nothing is going to happen.

Now the second kind of people who may say something like this trying to stop you from achieving your goal is the people who tried before and failed and now they create so much fear in their life that they don't want to do anymore because probably they get hurt and maybe some jealousy or maybe some also way to protect you but they don't want you to achieve, they don't want you to be more. They don't want you to become more because remember, they try they fail and they stop trying so they want to protect you. It doesn't work that way. You cannot let anybody limit you from the things you want to create in life. You cannot do that. You have a dream. You have a goal. You have something you really want. You have to go there. You have to make it happen. It's on you, no one can stop you. No one can stop you from doing something from creating the life you want, the body you want, the relationship you want, the business you want, no one can stop you unless you let them, nobody can do that unless you let them and if you decide to let them stop you, make sure you take responsibility for that because you don't want 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now say you know what the reason I didn't do this was because my spouse, my partner, my parents, my whatever told me that it wasn't a good idea because they don't know what we're capable of. They don't know our dreams. They don't know what we want in our life. If I had listened to my teacher when I was 14 years old, probably would not be here. If I had listened to the people, my loved one, my very close loved one when I was 22 years old that I was coming to America, if I had listened to them, I would not be here but that story will be for another time. Until then, have an outstanding life! Thank you!

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Hey, today I want to talk quickly about success. Success is like a recipe. You got to have the formula down. Think about it this way. Imagine, you want to make the best chocolate pudding in the world. You got to have the formula, right? The recipe on how it's done.

Now you also could decide that you don't want to follow that recipe, that formula, that seems to work, right? Let's say that you want to do or try another technique. Many people take that path and then what happens usually is, they're then giving up because they think that they've tried everything.

The problem with that is that: Number 1 is that you cannot try everything, it's impossible and Number 2 Think about it this way, it doesn't matter how many times you tried to look for the sunrise if you look West instead of East. It will never happen but that's what a lot of people do. Have you ever heard people say, "The reason why I'm not XYZ or I haven't done XYZ is because I haven't tried everything" or maybe some they say he did it and he got lucky. When in fact, once you've got the recipe, the formula for success down. Once you have it down and you follow it, the success is almost guaranteed, almost guaranteed. You have to do your part. So next time you want to do something real bad in your life, whatever it is, whatever area in your life, you want something really bad, would you rather go through trial and error or would you rather go and find someone that knows how to do it, right?

So go around, ask questions, find your model, find the places where you can get the learnings that you need to create the right strategies for yourself, to get the results that you wanted, the success that you want in your life. Find the places where you could get the learnings needed to create the strategy so that you could get the results of success that you want in your life. It's a shortcut. Once you have the success formula down, it saves time. You don't have to waste time. Follow what works.

Thank you very much and have an outstanding day.

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Today let's talk about money. Money is bad. Is it?

I've been coaching a lot of people in all areas of their life, I discovered that often one of the biggest challenges I hear is the belief about money. "Money is bad". "Money creates a lot of problems". But you also hear, "Money does not solve all the problems but it solves many of them".  and "I've been rich and I’ve been poor. Rich is better". So why does the subject of money is still so delicate for a lot of people? First, the way I want you to think about money is the following...

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How to Overcome Fear in Your Life

Fear. It shows up in nearly every minute of our lives. It’s not something that we can suppress each time, and it’s something that we cannot deny. As human beings, it is ingrained in our DNA. It’s a mechanism that is triggered every time we are faced with danger, like if a wild animal is about to attack us. However, nowadays, fear is almost always triggered unnecessarily by “imagined” dangers. It’s that mental block that we put upon ourselves. Unfortunately, we ourselves are creating these fears.

Fear of Loss

This is the kind of fear where you get scared to lose something you love in exchange for trying out something new: fear of losing something you adore, fear of losing relationships, fear of losing pleasure, or fear of losing your job or career. Yes, all these losses seem scary, but they are not enough for us to give up on our dreams, our visions, or the opportunities to become more, to create more, and to discover more. The opportunities out there are endless. Focus on the great things you might gain as a result of trying out something new.

1. Fear of Doing

This is the fear of the process itself. It’s the fear of having to do something or to learn something new. For example, if you want to start a business, you are probably going to need to work longer hours. You’ll have to learn new skills. Fear may be that little voice inside your head telling you, “Oh, it’s not that easy! That’s hard! It’s a lot of work!” Some people tend to give so much attention to these fears that they have already given up even before starting the process.

1. Fear of Pain

Thinking about the things that we need to give up can cause paralyzing fear. Doubts also set in. Questions take root, like “What if I do all those changes and put in all the work and my life’s not getting any better?” and “Why even try?” You somehow have already decided that those changes that you’re planning to make just might produce unfavorable results. Instead of focusing on the possible negative results, we need to visualize our desired outcome and then create that vision of the world we desire. We need to focus more on the things we want, those things that are empowering on the other side.

Fear is supposed to be there to protect us. It’s that survival instinct that is triggered in the face of danger. The problem is, nowadays, we create fears that are not needed anymore. We create those new fears from experience, from hearing those voices around us: our peers, family, and media.

It’s time for us to break that mold and create the change we want for our lives. We all know how to improve the quality of our lives. Deep inside, we already know how to do that, but why are we not doing that? It’s simply because we associate the necessary changes with pain, and we use that as an excuse—an excuse for us to not step forward.

It’s not worth listening to that fear. When you feel like fear is starting to creep in, just stop and ask yourself, “What do I want to believe instead right now?”

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How do you get yourself going? Sometimes people hang out with their problems, perhaps because they want to feel unique or important. The problem with wanting to do that is that it gives them the identity of a victim. They seek to prove that nothing will work for them, that they are hopeless. There’s no such thing as hopeless! There’s always another option, another choice. Start believing in your ability to get things done. Start questioning the beliefs that are not serving you.

I’m going to share with you four ideas on how to let go and change those beliefs that are limiting you. Once you apply them, changes are inevitable.

1. Those beliefs have no proof.

Those beliefs are just thoughts that you created. When something holds you back from taking action, ask yourself the question, “When did I decide that?” Nothing stays the same. Everything changes. We all grow, so don’t try to hold back what’s natural.

1. Decide that you can learn anything.

The only things that stop you from learning anything are habit and motivation. It’s all about the motivation that you have for something that you want to do. It’s the power that you put behind your why.

1. Create confidence in your abilities.

Take a few minutes each day to visualize what is it that you want, and then create an action plan.

1. Schedule it!

Anything that is not scheduled is not going to happen. Scheduling is where everything starts. That’s how you create a plan.

Try applying these concepts, and give yourself the opportunity to be more, to become more, and to have an outstanding life.

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Nowadays, relationships start with a commitment that’s full of understanding, trust, love, and flexibility. At first, it’s so sweet, right and perfect but sooner or later, it turns to hating each other, splitting up and eventually moving on, or worse, staying in a relationship that’s not going anywhere. This has become so ordinary in our society. And in fact, between 40 to 50% of married people divorce.

But you know, there’s actually a way to keep the love of your life. And it’s not about the right person, but rather about the process that you bring in the relationship. But it doesn’t include talking to your friends, therapists, or anyone for advice. Nor does it involve Googling “How to make a relationship work”. Because really, what’s needed is not more information, but rather, TRANSFORMATION.

And that starts from yourself. Now, here are 4 tips that could help you make a relationship go back on track, make it better, or to define what’s really going on.

#1: Know what you want

Sit down and ask yourself - “What do I really want in a relationship?” More often, people know what exactly they DON’T want but not the things they REALLY want. You have to be specific and once you do that, you will allow yourself to focus on the things you want instead of the things you don’t.

#2: Don’t think you know what your lover wants or needs

Through life, you gain experiences that affects the way you see things. You create your own beliefs, values and rules that will later on be basis of your decisions and actions. And it is often because of these that you misunderstand your partner simply because they have their own beliefs too. But sometimes, you don’t realize that. And worse, you assume that you know what your partner wants and needs based on your own thinking and experiences.

Now, instead of thinking that you know, why not ask and find out? This way, you can create an awareness and build a better relationship.

#3: Holding to things from the past

Have you ever found yourself still holding on to unpleasant things from the past? If yes, then what is it? Once you’ve identified what’s been holding you back, decide not only to forgive but also to forget. There’s no point in forgiving a person and when something comes up, you bring it back. Not only is it unhealthy, but you’re also creating a trap for yourself and your loved one.

#4: Never think that you are only 50% responsible for the result of your relationship

“If you love me, you love me the way I am. Period.” - the problem with this kind of thinking is that there’s actually little room for flexibility or improvement. If you think you are only 50% responsible for making your relationship work, you will be spending a lot of time pointing finger, blaming and expecting your partner to solve the problems. It’s not enough that you openly share what you want, but you must also be willing to make changes as well. And that starts from within.

Decide now if you are ready to be 100%, not 50, but a full 100% responsible for making your relationship work. And of course, your partner should be ready too! Have that discussion and try, ask and make changes if need be.

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Why are there so many people who are putting off things like expressing their love to their loved ones? We always hear the same thing, “I don't have time”. But the amount of time they spend on things that are not important in their life is huge.

How about prioritizing what really matters in our lives? How about utilizing downtime to think about what we wanted to do in our free time?

Our personal relationships need quality time. Here are four (4) ideas on how we can give that.

1. Make them feel loved.

Ask them, "How do you know I love you?" and "What is it that I do or say to make you feel loved by me?". These are simple questions, but these are great questions to ask for us to know their love strategy. It's brilliant. Simple. Do more of whatever answers they give you. Do more of that. It works. It's amazing how much information you can get from simple questions like these. I guarantee you're going to be amazed.

1. Mental management

I think it's time to put aside time management and start focusing on mental management. Several times a day, ask yourself. “How am I feeling right now?”, “Am I feeling love?, Am I feeling excited?, am I feeling joy?, am I feeling happiness?”. Just check to see how your feeling and if you don’t feel any of those or if you want to feel more of those, just ask yourself simple questions, "What am I happy about in my life right now?", "What am I excited about in my life right now?, “Who do I love?”, and “Who loves me?”. If you’re having a hard time coming up w/ an answer because there's nothing to be happy about life right now, that's okay, relax, take a deep breath. That's okay. Just ask yourself instead, “What could've made me happy in my life right now”, “What could've made me excited in my life right now?, “I could have more joy in my life right now”. Just do this several times a day. What it does is it it gets your mental state into the right place. It's a great place to be, having joy, happiness, excitement, love, the feeling of love in your life.

1. Engage with your loved ones.

Let them know that you're here for them and then act. Don't just say, “I'm here for you”. No, act! Be present. Look at them in the eyes, smile. Listen to them. They might want to share something with you. Be present and listen to what they have to say.

1. Schedule time with your loved ones.

Go out on a date. Have you ever been on a date with your loved ones, with your spouse, with your personal relationships? Yes, probably. At the beginning, right? You probably bought flowers, gifts or you went to dinner. Did you stop doing that? Why? Why would you stop that? Probably because life got the best out of you and that's okay. But being connected with your loved one is the most important thing that you’ll ever do for your life balance. So start with that. Give them the gift of your time and vice versa.

What's important is to remind ourselves every day about how lucky we are to have these people in our lives. Start applying these four(4) steps. Do it for yourself. Do it for your loved ones. The world needs more smile, more joy, the world needs more love. So go out there! Be with them and have an outstanding life.