Life is full of choices. Every day, we decide what gets our time, attention and energy. We often say yes to work, dinners, travel, exercise, family commitments, social events and countless other good things. But I’ve come to realise that every yes also means saying no to something else.

Saying yes to another gym session may mean saying no to dinner with a friend who needs encouragement. Saying yes to another late night at work may mean saying no to sharing and praying with friends at Bible study. Saying yes to another weekend away may mean saying no to gathering with our church family.

Equally, saying no to something we enjoy may be one way of saying yes to loving someone else. Not every yes is faithful, and not every no is wrong. We are finite people with limited time and energy. The question is not whether we can say yes to everything, but what our choices reveal about what we value.

Without realising it, we can begin to approach church as consumers rather than committed members. We attend when it suits us. We serve when we have spare capacity. We join in when nothing else is competing for our time. Church slowly becomes an event we fit around the rest of life, rather than a community God has called us to belong to. We should be careful that convenience does not become the measure of our commitment.

a community God has called us to belong to

At the heart of Christian community is God’s commitment to us. God did not love us only when it was convenient. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus gave himself fully and sacrificially for people who had nothing to offer him in return.

That gospel shapes the way we love one another. Jesus tells his disciples, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34). Christian community is therefore more than attending the same church. It is learning to love one another with the costly, committed love we ourselves have received.

The early church “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). I’m struck by that word devoted. It describes more than occasional participation. They made deliberate choices to gather, serve, share and care for one another. They ordered their lives around God’s word and his people.

For us, that devotion will often look very ordinary. It might mean showing up consistently, making time to pray with others, inviting someone to share a meal, noticing when someone is missing, offering practical help when a need arises, or staying a little longer to encourage someone when it would be easier to rush home.

With every choice we make comes an opportunity to love. The question is, who are we loving? Christian community is built through ordinary choices to show up, stay, serve and love. We will not always love one another perfectly this side of heaven. But the gospel reminds us that our hope is not in our perfect love, but in Christ’s perfect love for us. My prayer is that God would deepen our commitment to one another and help us reflect the steadfast love we have received in Jesus.