With U Podcast: Recent Episodes

Dr. David and Tara Van Dyke

Tara and David have been married for 30+ years and are the parents of four grown children. Tara is a certified birth doula and childbirth educator. David is an associate professor, director of a masters program in Marriage and Family Therapy, and a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Together, they own With U Projects. They share a curiosity about the world and the people who live in it. By interviewing experts, sharing their perspectives and engaging in others’ stories, David and Tara explore human development, relationship, and all the things in between…With U.

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Coming fresh from supporting the birth of our first grandchild, we dive deep into the topic of physical and emotional pain, and explore how it serves a purpose in our lives and relationships. Using personal stories and professional experiences, we highlight the difference between pain and suffering, explore the role of support and connection in reducing pain's impact, and stress the value of facing pain with understanding to encourage growth.

Feedback of questions? Please email us at withupodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Gone but not forgotten are the million people who died during the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. During our visit to this beautiful country, we heard stories from almost everyone we met about how the events of their past still affect their lives today. Our guest, John Bosco Rumanzi, shares his story of being born as a refugee in Uganda and what it was like to come back to his country and learn about family members he would never meet. He tells us what he’s learned about the power of human dignity, cooperation, and hope.

Check out the video of this podcast at the With U Podcast YouTube channel

Find extra photos of people & places mentioned in this episode at Withupodcast.com

We’d like to introduce you to the projects and people we visited through the links below. Each of these organizations, people, or ministries is doing amazing and transformative work. Please look through the links, read the stories, and if you’re as inspired by them as we are, consider sending a donation that will make a big difference.

  • John Bosco Rumanzi, Navigators Rwanda
  • Emmanuel Ndolimana, Africa Bora Ministries
  • Pascal Ndagijimana, Humura Mission Agency
  • Jamie Boiles, Belay Global

produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Sometimes you need to just push way outside what’s normal in your life. We’ve gotten pretty comfortable traveling, but a recent trip to Africa really stretched and challenged us. We made mistakes (hello, visa expediting fee!), met amazing people, and ate stuff we will probably never eat again. Tara resurrected her fear of baboons, David learned to push a truck out of the mud with a leopard lurking nearby, and we both ended each day grateful to be in it together.

Check out the video of this podcast at the With U Podcast YouTube channel

Find extra photos of people & places mentioned in this episode at Withupodcast.com

The people of Kenya are even more amazing than the beautiful landscapes and wild adventures we had. We’d like to introduce you to the projects we visited through the links below. Each of these organizations, people, or ministries is doing work we really believe in. We’ve seen them, eaten meals with them, talked to them, heard their struggles, and caught their vision for bringing hope and change to their country. It’s incredible how even the gift of hygienic products or a goat or skill training can radically change a life and a community. Please look through the links, read the stories, and if you’re as inspired by them as we are, consider sending a donation that will make a big difference.

  • Malooi Demonstration Farm, Kioko Mwangangi > Donate Here
  • Oasis Africa, Gladys Mwiti > Donate Here
  • Hope for Life Kenya, Josephine Kiarii > Donate Here
  • Maasai Transformation Project, Saruni Lemargeroi
  • Dignity 4 Girls, Sandi Helm > Donate Here
  • Second Chance Education Center, Kiplagat Misik > Donate Here
  • Youth Love, Max Njuguna > Donate Here

And, a shout-out to our wonderful driver, George Mutabari, who got us safely everywhere we needed to go. We’re not sure if he has a website, but if you ever take a trip to Kenya, you’d be in good hands with George at the wheel.

Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Join David & Tara as they talk about building the video podcast studio with an epic trip to IKEA. David learns to enjoy vegetarian meatballs and Tara puts the kibosh on setting a world record of living in the display rooms.

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We’re about to do something new! But first, a review: as we record episode #50 of the podcast, we are thankful for you coming along with us for connection, resources, and hopefully a few laughs. We will take a short hiatus for 2 months as we travel and teach. In the meantime, we need to hear from you! Please rate, review, and share the podcast to give us a boost and the will to go on — ha ha! No, really!

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

(He does amazing work! Drop him an encouraging message at withupodcast@gmail.com)

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With U Podcast season 5 is coming up with some exciting new developments in September 2024. During our summer break as we prepare our new studio, we need to hear from you! We’ve listed links below to make it easy.

  • Post a Google review! If you’ve ever taken a class with David or Tara, or heard us speak, or had Tara’s support at your birth, a review or story here would be most helpful.
  • Rate & review the podcast.

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Spotify
    • Follow us on Instagram
    • Email us with topic ideas: withupodcast@gmail.com

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How do we form our sense of self? In the movie Inside Out 2, we go deep inside the brain of a teenager to find out how self is constructed from memories, messages, and beliefs. As we follow the main character Riley into adolescence, we discover the importance of integrating both positive and negative experiences into our identity. Join us on this wild rollercoaster of emotional exploration!

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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promotional pic by Disney

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We’ve been employed in many unique ways, from washing cars to working on a Hollywood movie set. Sometimes the path to a career can be full of unexpected turns, but each workplace can teach us something valuable to prepare us for the next step. We hope our stories of odd jobs — sometimes hilarious, sometimes grueling, and sometimes downright sketchy — will take the pressure off anyone who is still searching for their dream job.

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Do you want to see us working as extras in a French music video? You'll have to see it to believe it! (Hint: David is a camera operator and Tara is the dancing silhouette on the right.) Head on over to the show notes page on our website: With U Projects to check it out.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Would you like to hear a dad joke? Dads and their corny jokes may be fun to tease, but we are thankful for fathers and their important role in our lives. Join us for memorable lessons learned from our own dads, ideas for fun father’s day celebrations, and a surprise tribute to David from our kids.


see fun photos at With U Projects


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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How is David surviving the Great Cicada Invasion of '24? While a horde of insects invading our home town, why is Tara far away in a Boise birth center? While we've been busy teaching and training in different states this week, we invite you to join us on a call as we check in with each other and compare our parenting responses to our daughter's epic Amtrak adventure.


Picture of actual cicadas in our back yard. Now imagine one million of them flying around your head. Fun fact: cicada noise levels have been measured at up to 105 decibels.

See more fun photos at WithUPodcast.com


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Have you ever wondered what is the right thing to say to someone who is going through a hard time? Do you struggle with the line between persistence and intrusion when trying to provide support? We've been there, and we treasure the lessons we've learned along the way. Listen in for some practical tips that will help you foster deeper, more caring relationships.

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An effort to discover David’s family roots led us to more than just a meal of pickled herring on farm in the Netherlands. We also gained a deeper appreciation for the profound impact of family history on personal identity, We explore the ways we can learn from patterns in our family history and build on the strengths of previous generations while also writing our own story.

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Resources for researching your family history:

  • Local libraries
  • City courthouse records
  • National archives
  • Ancestry.com
  • Ancestry DNA tests
  • Familysearch.org

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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From aquatic frogs to a pet shop puppy, we've hosted a variety of household animals. Though we weren't always on the same page about pet ownership, we agree that animals have enriched our lives and enhanced our families. We reveal some research that shows the true health benefits of pet companionship, and share our personal stories of pets that left their paw prints on our hearts.


CDC article about health benefits of pets


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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If you’ve experienced lost luggage, bad directions, or a misplaced passport, you know how easily a dream trip can go off the rails. But despite the potential for discomforts and disaster, we believe all travel is worth the risk. Getting outside your familiar neighborhood may challenge your relationships, expand your mind, and open the door to delightful discoveries. Listen up for our top tips for making the most of any travel experience, from family road trips to international adventures.

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A few recommendations:

Eating Europe — The Best Food Tours in Europe

Taller Andaluz de Cocina — Spanish Cooking Class in Seville

Paka — Alpaca socks

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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What if reaching for the stars sounds a bit unreachable? What does it really mean to follow my dreams? How do I make a difference in the world when I’m just working a regular job? If any of these questions ring a bell for you or any new graduate in your life, we’ve got some encouraging words. We’ll break down the most common graduation day clichés to help you feel less overwhelmed and more grounded at this amazing time of transition.

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Gratitude: The Short Film by Louie Schwartzberg

Check out photos and more info on our website at With U Projects

We’d love it if you would share this podcast with your friends, and post a review! Thanks so much for supporting us in this way and helping us grow our reach.

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With a crazy, truth-or-dare-like boldness, we asked our kids to ask us any question at all and promised we'd answer truthfully. We enjoyed a candid Q&A session that led to tears, laughter, and some surprising discoveries about what aquatic animals we'd like to be and why.


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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We choose some relationships in life, and some relationships choose us. If you have a sibling, you know what we’re talking about. As we grow up together, we live and learn, fight and hopefully forgive. We enjoyed a conversation with David’s brother Nathan about their shared family experiences, their age-gap challenges, and their evolving friendship.--

See fun family photos of David & Nathan on our website at With U Podcast

Please send feedback or show topic suggestions to us at withupodcast@gmail.com

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Did you know we are each made up of trillions of microbial cells? And that our relationship with these unseen microorganisms may have a profound impact on our lifelong health? Our guest Toni Harman, is a filmmaker who produced the award-winning documentary Microbirth. She explores the science behind how our bodies interact with our environment, and emphasizes the importance of optimizing the microbiome from birth.


Toni Harman is a filmmaker, author, course creator and champion of the microbiome.

Toni has produced and directed a number of internationally distributed documentary films including MICROBIRTH about the origins of the human microbiome.

Toni’s extensive research for her film MICROBIRTH led to her co-authoring the books THE MICROBIRTH EFFECT and YOUR BABY’s MICROBIOME.

Toni is also the founder of MICROBIOME COURSES, an online school offering CPD approved courses for health professionals and parents on the infant microbiome, now with over 40,000 registered students.

For a free mini-course explaining the infant microbiome: https://microbirth.teachable.com/p/taster

You can watch MICROBIRTH here: https://microbirth.teachable.com/p/microbirth

You can also watch MICROBIRTH on Vimeo On Demand here: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/microbirthfilm


Links to some other things mentioned in the show:

Lambic beer

Book: “You Are What Your Grandparents Ate”

National Human Genome Research Institute: definition of microbiome

https://www.genome.gov/genetics-glossary/Microbiome

Some facts Tara & David mention are from the Human Microbiome Project

https://commonfund.nih.gov/hmp


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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What happens when the next steps in life don't come so easily? Russell Moore's expectations about growing a family were challenged when he and his wife experienced infertility. Though initially resistant to the idea of adoption, Dr. Moore's heart opened to welcome two sons adopted from Russia. He shares ways adoption is woven into Jesus' own family tree to reveal the expansive love of God and the concept of family beyond biological ties.


Russell Moore is Editor in Chief of Christianity Today.

Moore is the author of several books, including Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches.

An ordained Baptist minister, Moore served previously as President of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission and, before that, as the chief academic officer and dean of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, where he also taught theology and ethics.

The Wall Street Journal has called Moore “vigorous, cheerful, and fiercely articulate.” He was named in 2017 to Politico Magazine’s list of top fifty influence-makers in Washington, and has been profiled by such publications as the New York Times, the Washington Post and the New Yorker.

Moore was a Fellow at the University of Chicago’s Institute of Politics and currently serves on the board of the Becket Law and as a Senior Fellow with the Trinity Forum in Washington, D.C.

A native Mississippian, he and his wife Maria are the parents of five sons. They live in Nashville, where he teaches the Bible regularly at their congregation, Immanuel Church.


produced by Zach Van Dyke

see full transcript on our With U Podcast website

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Hillary and Jonathan Wildt each felt led to the idea of adoption even before they found each other. After they were married, done with grad school, and feeling ready for parenthood, they worked to prepare their house, their hearts, and their extended family for the realities of adoption. The process led them to welcoming three biological siblings as their children. Now two years into their parenthood journey, they share the challenges they face, including attachment issues and managing expectations, but also the joy of certainty that they were meant to be together.

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Resources Hillary & Jonathan found helpful:

In On It by Elisabeth O’Toole (book used for family wine & cheese adoption book discussion)

Parenting from the inside out

The Whole Brain Child

The Connected Child

The Connected Parent

Dancing with a Porcupine: Parenting wounded children without losing your self.

Raising Human Beings

The Raising Devon Blog

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please see full transcript and other extras on our website, With U Podcast


produced by Zach Van Dyke

transcription by Ryan Van Dyke

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In a story of love, loss, and letting go, Joy and Myah explore their experiences with adoption and their evolving relationship as mother and daughter. Joy candidly shares the rollercoaster ride of emotions through unexplained infertility and the new path to growing her family. Myah reflects on her complex feelings about her biological family and her quest for belonging. Together they express that every challenge has been worth it to bring them to where they are today.


produced by Zach Van Dyke

transcribed by Ryan Van Dyke


see full transcript and more photos of Joy & Myah at withupodcast.com

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Family ties get twisty when another enters the family. Much has been said about the effects and needs of adopted kids and parents, but what about the rest of the family?

Seven adopted siblings joined Jana’s family after she turned 16. This big life transition opened her heart and grew her compassion. But Jana also learned a lot about effects of adoption on the whole family system. Her own unaddressed needs and struggles led her to finding better tools and interventions to keep adoptive and foster families connected and healthy.

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Dr. Jana Hunsley is the Executive Director of Project 1025 LLC, an organization devoted to equipping and supporting adoptive and foster families, where she offers consulting, training, coaching, and counseling for families and professionals. She is also co-founder of Camp Together, a nonprofit offering therapeutic family camps for families impacted by trauma. Jana received her doctorate in experimental psychology from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University where her research focused on understanding and meeting the needs of every member of adoptive and foster families through post-adoption supportive services. Over the years, Jana has worked in various clinical settings as a therapist with children and youth who have experienced trauma, including residential treatment, institutional care, schools, child welfare, and juvenile detention. Jana credits her passion for this work to her siblings who were adopted when she was a teenager.

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Project 1025: Services and Resources to Create Connected Foster and Adoptive Families

Connected Family Series: An online, self-paced post-adoption family intervention aimed at seeing and meeting the needs of all members of adoptive families.

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Produced by Zach Van Dyke

Transcribed by Ryan Van Dyke

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It’s Leap Day! Since February has an extra day this year, we present a bonus episode: a review of the movie Leap Year (2010) starring Amy Adams. Guess which of your hosts will get extra sappy and which will get practical as we follow this rom-com story set in Dublin, Ireland. On a quest for a Leap Day marriage proposal we will cover it all from Celtic traditions, to travel disasters and relational misunderstandings. Does it all lead to a happy ending? Watch the movie to find out and then join us on the podcast to sort through the hilarity and mishaps to find the gold at the end of the rainbow.

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More about the movie: Leap Year (2010)

View movie trailer here.

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Wedding toast from the movie:

May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you. Cheers!

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music by Oleskii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay

produced by Zach Van Dyke

transcription by Ryan Van Dyke

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When Gabriela was inspired to volunteer, she never imagined herself serving behind bars. But when God prompted her heart, she ventured outside her comfort zone and into prison. Now, after 20 years of prison ministry, she shares her passion for responsibility, grace, forgiveness, reconciliation, and God’s love for all.

Gabriela Kabatova lives in Prague, Czech Republic.

Gabriela served as a member of the Salvation Army volunteer team for prison visits (2006-10), and she is the founder and director of Prison Fellowship Czech Republic (2010-present).

produced by Zach Van Dyke

transcription by Ryan Van Dyke


See the song "Srdce za zdí" (Heart Behind the Wall). Thesong is a testimony to how children experience the imprisonment of their parents.---

Full transcript of this episode available on With U Projects website.

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February 14, St. Valentine’s, is a day focused on the celebration of love. Shops are full of flowers, candy, cards, and heart-shaped everything. Restaurants roll out special menus and candlelight for romantic meals. What could possibly be bad about any of that? We don’t want to rain on anyone’s Valentine’s parade, but our feelings about the Hallmark holiday might surprise you.---

produced by Zach Van Dyke

cover art photoshop assistance from Ryan Van Dyke & Zach Van Dyke

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It's a nearly impossible task for parents to stay on top of the ways their children are using technology. How do you limit screen time? What's the right age for a social media account? Why do YouTubers have so much influence? If all of this seems overwhelming, you're not alone. And it's not too late to try some new ways of navigating the question of kids & technology.


We'd love to hear your feedback! Please email us at withupodcast@gmail.com


A few helpful resources:

Family Media Plan from American Academy of Pediatrics

Livingstone, S., & Blum-Ross, A. (2020). Parenting for a digital future: How hopes and fears about technology shape children's lives. Oxford University Press, USA.

Chapman, G., & Pellicane, A. (2020). Screen kids: 5 relational skills every child needs in a tech-driven world. Moody Publishers.


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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From nosy neighbors on the party line to cyberbullies on social media, technology always impacts the way we communicate and interact. We explore the ways advances in technology have fundamentally changed social dynamics, and shed light on some possible unintended consequences.

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We'd love to hear from you! Send feedback or topic suggestions to withupodcast@gmail.com.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Does it really matter how we're born? In a topic that affects all humans, we discuss what makes a healthy birth and why it matters for women, their families, and the community. We share our own personal birth experiences and some factors that can promote a supportive, informed, and respectful birth for all.


We'd love to hear your birth story! Email us at withupodcast@gmail.com


For those who are interested in improving birth, here's lots more information:

  • FIGO Conference 2023 (Tara's visit to Paris to help promote healthy birth practices and doula support)
  • International Childbirth Initiative - 12 Steps for Safe and Respectful MotherBaby-Family Maternity Care
  • Transformational Birth - a blog post by Tara
  • Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices
  • Every Mother Counts
  • Postpartum Support International
  • Doula & Childbirth Educator training with ICEA
  • The role of hormones & pain in birth
  • Approaches to Limit Intervention During Labor and Birth (ACOG)
  • Maternal mortality rates in US

Adams, E. D., Stark, M. A., & Low, L. K. (2016). A nurse’s guide to supporting physiologic birth. Nursing for women's health, 20(1), 76-86.Buckley S. J. (2015). Executive Summary of Hormonal Physiology of Childbearing: Evidence and Implications for Women, Babies, and Maternity Care. The Journal of perinatal education, 24(3), 145–153.

Kingma, E. (2021). Harming one to benefit another: the paradox of autonomy and consent in maternity care. Bioethics, 35(5), 456-464.

Lothian J. (2015). Advancing Normal Birth. The Journal of Perinatal Education, 24(4), 203–205.Rutherford, J. N., Asiodu, I. V., & Liese, K. L. (2019). Reintegrating modern birth practice within ancient birth process: What high cesarean rates ignore about physiologic birth. American Journal of Human Biology, 31(2), e23229.

Stark, M. A., Remynse, M., & Zwelling, E. (2016). Importance of the birth environment to support physiologic birth. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing, 45(2), 285-294.


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Our guest Emöke Tapolyai tells the story of becoming an unexpectedly single parent. She candidly reveals the pain and loss she experienced after her divorce, and also tells us how she managed to stay out of the self-pity trap. Stay tuned to hear about how she healed and how she continues to thrive and flourish.


Emöke Tapolyai is a clinical pastoral counselor and executive coach. She received her M.A. in clinical pastoral counseling from Ashland Theological Seminary, and is working on her PhD at the University of South Africa. She is the founder and director of Kandela Psychological and Coaching Center in Budapest.


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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How many burpees can a person do in one day? We found out! Last summer instead of enjoying a relaxing lakeside vacation, our family ran a grueling obstacle race together. Spoiler alert: we all survived! We also faced fears and scored some victories. It was an adventure that made lasting memories -- mostly good ones.


For more race photos & fun facts, visit our website With U Podcast.


Spartan's tagline is "Prepare to crush any obstacles life throws at you." If you're interested in challenging yourself or running your own family obstacle race, check out all the options at Spartan.com


produced by Zach Van Dyke

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As a final wrap-up of the Marriage Stories Series, Tara and David review advice given in the couples' interviews, share some of their own personal stories, and count down their top ten lessons learned about lasting love.

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We'd love to hear what you thought of the Marriage Stories. Which one was most memorable for you? What tips did you learn that you want to apply to your relationship? Email us at withupodcast@gmail.com

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Audio deepfake soap ad created by Zach Van Dyke

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Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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The honeymoon glow was over quickly for Gary & Karolyn after their wedding. Alarmed at the conflict and differences that were magnified in their young marriage, they turned to God and found a new way to love each other well. Now, 61 years later, they devote their time and energy to teaching others what they've learned.

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Gary & Karolyn Chapman will celebrate 62 years of marriage this year, and reside in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Dr. Gary Chapman is an experienced and well-respected family counselor and a well-known author. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, A Love Language Minute. His most popular book title, The Five Love Languages, has topped various bestseller charts for years and has been published in more than 50 languages.

Take the Love Language Quiz here to find out your primary love language!

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We hope you’ve enjoyed listening to all 10 stories in this series. In the next episode, Tara & David will wrap up the marriage series with a Top Ten countdown of what we’ve learned about love from all the couples we’ve spoken to.

Please follow us on Instagram to see what’s coming next, and we’d greatly appreciate a review wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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One marriage story episode was not long enough for our conversation with Rodica & Liviu about their perspectives on marriage, identity, roles, technology, and art. Listen in to hear more about how their careers impact their family life.

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Liviu & Rodica Mocan reside in Cluj-Napoca, Transylvania. They have 3 adult children (+ spouses) and 4 grandchildren.

Rodica is a professor of digital media, and Liviu is a sculptor.

You can see more of Liviu's work on his website: https://www.liviumocan.ro/

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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They started getting to know each other at clandestine Bible study meetings in communist times in Romania. Rodica and LIviu didn't take long to commit to each other on a snowy January day, and it didn't take long after that to discover that they couldn't be more different. An engineer and an artist, they still see things differently but have found freedom in releasing expectations and supporting one another's growth.

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College might be an ordinary place for a couple to meet, but Zim & Jason have lived extraordinary lives. She’s from Nigeria, he’s from Honduras, they dated in India, and married in France. Now their new baby has passport, will travel too!

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Jeremiah 33:20-22

“This is what the Lord says: If you can break my covenant with the day and the night so that one does not follow the other, only then will my covenant with my servant David be broken. Only then will he no longer have a descendant to reign on his throne. The same is true for my covenant with the Levitical priests who minister before me. And as the stars of the sky cannot be counted and the sand on the seashore cannot be measured, so I will multiply the descendants of my servant David and the Levites who minister before me.”

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Check out some of Zim's projects at Zimism, Morning Assembly, Glory Roade, and The Bloom Podcast.⁠

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We’d love to hear from you! Feedback and ideas are always welcome. Email David & Tara at withupodcast@gmail.com

Follow us on Instagram!

Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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She’s from Canada, he’s from Ecuador, and they found each other in the USA. Emily & Ricky made it past an awkward start to a relationship characterized by intimacy and trust. They stay connected by celebrating all the little moments.

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Listen to Ricky’s proposal song here.

Wedding song: Broken Together by Casting Crowns

Emily & Ricky are both marriage & family therapists with The Journey Through. Follow their work on Facebook.

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Follow With U Podcast on Instagram to find out what’s next!

Contact David & Tara with ideas or feedback: withupodcast@gmail.com

Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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These 2 lovebirds are enjoying their empty nest! Vallari & Ruchir decided against arranged marriages, and found each other at a party in Chicago. They have been married nearly 30 years now and maintain their relationship with mutual respect, shared interests in art & architecture, and travel.

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See Vallari's landscape architecture work at Eco Scapes, Inc.

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We'd love your feedback! Reach out to us at withupodcast@gmail.com

Find With U Podcast on Instagram to keep up with what's coming next!

Hear David & Tara's story and thoughts on finding a lasting love in the episode, Finding the One

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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This couple met on the first day of orientation at Hope College in Michigan. Their friendship was fast and genuine. According to Cassie & Ethan, they were the last two to know there was something a little more going on. Now they are on countdown to their wedding day and they couldn’t be more excited to be building a future together.

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Find Cassie on Instagram: @cassiehogle

Find Ethan on Instagram: @e_laird1

Check out some more photos of Cassie & Ethan on the With U Podcast website.

Instagram: @withupodcast

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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When one of your first dates ends up in the emergency room, you know you might be in for an adventurous relationship! Joy & Amado's marriage has had challenges from the very beginning. They share some of those stories candidly in this episode with laughter and wisdom, and attribute their deep love for each other to faith and hard work. 

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Newlyweds Lauren & Jacob moved pretty quickly from the friend zone to planning a wedding. Despite Lauren’s anti-marriage stance and Jacob’s short deadline before he moved away, these two found the spark and made a lifetime commitment to each other. They’ve been married just a few months now, and share how important premarital counseling was to them.

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See wedding photo and the top things Lauren & Jacob have learned about marriage at our With U Podcast website.

View Lauren & Jacob's wedding video! 

Follow us on Instagram for more inside info, and news on our upcoming episodes.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke 

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Paige & Steven became friends through Key Club in college, and soon couldn’t imagine life without each other. They live near Athens, Georgia, have been married 26 years, and have 2 teenage sons.

They believe that love is an everyday choice, and they like to find a good balance of doing things together while also giving each other space.

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Paige is an independent sales director with Mary Kay. You can check out her Mary Kay products here.

Steven is a sr. quality food safety manager for Mars Wrigley.

Learn a bit more about Paige & Steven (including their super cute wedding photo!) on our With U Podcast website.

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See more photos, quotes, and updates by following us on Instagram.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Chaka & Moses: high school sweethearts, now married for 17 years with 2 kids.

They both point to clear, direct, and open communication as key to a strong and thriving relationship. 

Learn a little bit more about Chaka & Moses on the With U Podcast website.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Is there one person out there waiting to complete you? Whether it’s soulmate, a significant other, or a spouse, many people are looking for a lifetime love. We explore our thoughts about love & marriage, and we share our list of important qualities to look for when finding your One.

This conversation kicks off a new season of interviews with married couples telling their stories.

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This episode also features our friend/manager/co-host/sidekick, Claire Fragomeni. We’re thankful for her help in getting our podcast off the ground.

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Produced by Zach Van Dyke

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Workplace romance, schoolkid crush, starry-eyed admiration, heartbreaking betrayal, and an unexpected meet-cute. This movie’s got all of that, but what does it teach us about love?

British rom com Love Actually (2003) hits the top of Christmas movie lists every year. It follows nearly a dozen love stories that all are intertwined and take place in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

We watched the movie and spent some time talking about what each character’s relationship tells us about what love is or is not.

Agree or disagree with our thoughts? We’d love to hear from you!

Contact us at withupodcast@gmail.com

With U Podcast

produced by Zach Van Dyke

Music Attributions:

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Christmas, Jazzy Bells (Jingle Bells), O Come O Come Emmanuel, & We Wish You a Merry Christmas by Dee Yan-Kee © | https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/ | https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Dee_Yan-Key/

Bobtails, Family at the Fireplace, Downhill, Family Outing, & Jingle Bells 1989 Cassette by Harris Heller© | https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/ | StreamBeats.com/christmassp

Nutcracker - Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy | Exzel Music Publishing (freemusicpublicdomain.com) | Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 | http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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In-law relationships are universally challenging. Marriage is never as simple as joining two people together -- a whole host of family members, expectations, learned behaviors, customs, and inside jokes come along for the ride! It's no wonder people struggle with the weight of dividing loyalty between family of origin and new spouse. We'll talk about why combining family systems is like living in a foreign land, and how we can approach in-law relationships with honor, respect, and appreciation.

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Check out Invisible Loyalties: Reciprocity in Intergenerational Family Therapy by Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy

If you are preparing to get married, we highly recommend premarital therapy that acknowledges and explores the combining of your family systems. Look for a therapist who uses the tool Prepare & Enrich.

For family therapy (you can bring the in-laws!!!) in the Chicagoland area, check out the Center for Family and Relational Health at Wheaton College.

Cover art photo: July 1992, joining our families together

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

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What do bath times, pizza nights, and wooden shoes have in common? For us, they are part of family traditions that give us safety, structure, and deeper meaning. Traditions and rituals help us form connection and affection.  We're big fans of a good tradition, so we'll share some of our favorites.  We'd love to hear some of yours as well! | Read more about our St Nick's Day traditions here: https://withuprojects.com/blog | Tell us about your family traditions & rituals! Reach out at withupodcast@gmail.com | produced by Zach Van Dyke


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As we continue our Four Cornerstones series, we'll explore two more key ideas in developing healthy relationships: Language & Meaning.

First, we look at language. (Why does swearing in another language seem less offensive?) How do the words we use shape our behavior and our thoughts? How can we choose words that strengthen our relationships and enhance our view of others?

In case those questions aren't big enough, we tackle the meaning of life. Or really, how finding shared meaning with another person can help overcome our differences. Even if that shared meaning comes from getting emotional at a junior high orchestra concert.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke

cover art photo: Lennon Wall in Prague, Czech Republic


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There are a few key concepts that we find to be foundational to a life of healthy relationships. We call these concepts our Four Cornerstones.

In this episode, we’ll talk about two of them. First, hear about how we got lost on a family road trip to Colorado. Perspective asks the question, Where are we? Zooming out, getting the big picture and context around the problem or relationship can go a long way. Second, how do you make sense of a toddler meltdown in the grocery store? Understanding Development helps us have reasonable expectations for what is possible in the relationship.


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“As I look back, God has brought me to places that seem disconnected but now make sense.”

Many people fear change, and struggle to understand how the disjointed pieces of their lives will fit together to make a whole. So we were excited to learn from our friend Joel Morris about how he has navigated massive vocational and geographical changes in his life.

When David and Joel got to know each other at a conference, they skipped all the small talk and went straight to theology, life’s purpose, and the metaverse! We had one chance to record with Joel while he was visiting the U.S., and Tara was called to attend a birth during that time. So David & Joel had a great afternoon exploring ideas around career, God’s guidance, and life transitions.

Dr. Joel Morris is the Executive Director of Union Foundation, overseeing the strategic and operational direction of the organization. He is a leader and trustee of Grace Community Church, Porthcawl. He has been a missionary working in 28 countries with Operation Mobilization before obtaining a doctorate and beginning a career in Materials Engineering which took him from Aerospace to the Nuclear sector.

Prior to joining Union, he was Assistant Professor at the Seoul National University in South Korea. He has extensive experience in bringing technology research to market, and in creating industrially sponsored University projects. He also started his own company specializing in aerospace technology, spun out of Swansea University. Joel is married to Hyelim and they have three children.

Joel’s Books:

Big Hearted: Are You Giving Happily or Hesitantly?

Revolutionary God: How Knowing Him Changes Everything.

produced by Zach Van Dyke


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There's no skipping past the weird and wild time of adolescence. Understanding and appreciating teenagers will go a long way toward connecting well with them. This is a subject we love, so we talk about the biology of adolescence, and share some of our own teenage mishaps and parenting wins and fails.

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For more about the amazingness of teenagers, don't miss our previous episode with Mark Oestreicher, Wonders to Behold. 

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produced by Zach Van Dyke


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"Do you see teenagers as a problem to be solved or as a wonder to behold? If we're really honest, most people see teenagers as broken and incapable. And I just don't see them that way. I see them as amazing."

Let’s talk about teenagers! We worked with Marko in youth ministry when we were newlyweds and we learned a lot about approaching teens with playfulness and respect. We love the way Marko changes the narrative about adolescence.

Mark Oestreicher (Marko) is a veteran youth worker and founding partner in The Youth Cartel, providing resources, training and coaching for church youth workers. The author of more than 70 books, Marko is a sought-after speaker, writer and consultant. Marko lives in San Diego with his wife Jeannie and has two young adult kids, Riley and Max.

Twitter: @markosbeard

Marko’s web page

A Parent's Guide to Understanding Teenage Brains: Why They Act the Way They Do

produced by Zach Van Dyke


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Marriage & Family Therapy is a way of looking at problems, solutions, and healing relationally instead of just individually. I (David) didn’t start out wanting to be a therapist, but life led toward a career that authentically fits with how I’m wired. I believe we are all created for relationship, and that we thrive when our relationships are healthy. That’s why I love working as a Marriage & Family Therapist, and why I train new clinicians to do the same.

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David’s training on his path to becoming an LMFT: B.A, Psychology, Wheaton College, Wheaton IL | M.S., Marriage & Family Therapy, Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena CA | Ph.D., Child & Family Development, University of Georgia, Athens GA

David currently sees clients and supervises students at the Center for Family and Relational Health in Wheaton IL.

He is program director of the M.A. in Marriage & Family Therapy, Wheaton College, Wheaton IL.

See Therapist Locator to find a trained clinician near you.

“MFTs are unique because they are trained in both psychotherapy and family systems, which allows them to focus on understanding client symptoms in the context of the relational interactions that influence behavior. The problem does not define the client but rather is a symptom of his or her system.”

Read more about the difference between MFT and other disciplines here.

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Produced by Zach Van Dyke


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What does a birth doula do? Is it all about fetching ice chips and giving back rubs? After attending hundreds of births, I (Tara) am convinced the magic is in the continuous care. Families welcoming a new baby need someone they can count on to guide them through the unknowns of labor and birth. I found my dream job when I became a doula. I'm excited to tell you more about my path to birth work and why I believe support makes such a difference to help families start strong.

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Tara trained to become a childbirth educator and birth doula with ICEA (International Childbirth Education Association). She offers doula services and prenatal coaching through Family First Birth Services and With U Parenting. 

Find birth or postpartum doulas in your area (US) by searching Doulamatch.

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produced by Zach Van Dyke


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"Trust was not something that we had automatically. I remember constantly thinking and analyzing people. Are they the ones that I should trust or not? Are they safe or not safe? And not safe can mean you're not going to be able to study all the way to you will go through severe persecution to the point of death."

We talk to Emöke, our friend and David's colleague about growing up under communist times in Hungary. She shares about how she finds hope in really dark times.

Emöke Tapolyai is a clinical pastoral counselor and executive coach. She received her M.A. in clinical pastoral counseling from Ashland Theological Seminary, and is working on her PhD at the University of South Africa. She is the founder and director of Kandela Psychological and Coaching Center in Budapest. She is the mother of 5 children and grandmother of 1 beautiful little girl. Listen to more of her thoughts about hope here.

Produced by Zach Van Dyke

Learn more about what we do at With U Projects.


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It's time to get personal. Get to know us better as Clare asks some personal questions. We'll talk about how we met, our favorite insults, and more!

Produced by Zach Van Dyke.

Check out our website for more about what we do.


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We are constantly surprised by each others needs and the challenges between being together and having time apart.  What we have learned is that a sense of safety and security provides space for us to grow individually and together.  

We hope that as we all talk about relationships we will enjoy each other more, laugh a bit more, and increase our curiosity about those around us.

Stay tuned, full episodes will be dropping soon.

Tara is a certified birth doula, child birth educator, mother of 4 adult children, and gets to be with David most every day.

David is a marriage & family therapist, professor, father of 4 adult children, and thankful for Tara's sense of humor and willingness to play.


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Hey there, we are David & Tara and we can't wait to chat with you.

Well, actually we’ll be the ones talking, but we’ll be imagining you’re there with us. 

We have been really learning by doing since 1991 — figuring out marriage, raising kids, working on our careers, and traveling A LOT!  We’ve learned a bit about the world, a lot about each other, and how interacting with others is the best teacher.

So, if you’re in, we’d like to learn together. We’ll share our own experiences, interview some experts, and hear people who have a story to tell.

But before the podcasting begins, we thought we would give you a glimpse into our relationship.  Enjoy and we will be dropping episodes soon.

Tara is a certified birth doula and childbirth educator.

David is a marriage & family therapist and professor.


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