Oh, Stephen.

At the 4:58 mark in his weekly rant video last Friday, he states that former Exodus leaders (apparently, we are “darkened souls”) met with the SPLC and HRC back in 2015 and coined the “ruse” term to disparage what he does.

Ruse is a noun and means an action intended to deceive someone, a trick.

At least he got the year right (for our meeting), but that’s about it. There were quite a few former Exodus leaders there to talk with the SPLC and brainstorm ways to counter conversion therapy efforts. Unfortunately, not much resulted from the meeting except for some good friendships, which was well worth the effort. I loved visiting the SPLC anyway. They are such a courageous and legendary group. I toured Martin Luther King, Jr.’s home in Montgomery, Alabama. That was a definite highlight of my trip there.

Do you know who wasn’t there? Anyone having to do with the HRC. Have no clue why his conspiracy has to have more than two villains, but that’s a lie based on willful ignorance. I was volunteering for them locally, but that was nothing to do with that meeting.

Do you know what else didn’t happen there? We didn’t come up with the term “conversion therapy.” Nope. By that point, conversion therapy had already been a part of the cultural lexicon for years. It was said a lot but not “invented” at that meeting.

Plus, there’s nothing “ruse” about those two words put together to describe what he does. The truth is conversion therapy was coined during the process of a successful civil lawsuit against JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives for Healing).

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The New York Times reports in 2012 ← see that in 2012, it was already in the culture. We hadn’t even shut down Exodus yet.

Gay “conversion therapy,” which claims to help men overcome unwanted same-sex attractions but has been widely attacked as unscientific and harmful, is facing its first tests in the courtroom.

In New Jersey on Tuesday, four gay men who tried the therapy filed a civil suit against a prominent counseling group, charging it with deceptive practices under the state’s Consumer Fraud Act.

The former clients said they were emotionally scarred by false promises of inner transformation and humiliating techniques that included stripping naked in front of the counselor and beating effigies of their mothers. They paid thousands of dollars in fees over time, they said, only to be told that the lack of change in their sexual feelings was their own fault.

The men who sued JONAH ultimately prevailed, and “conversion therapy” quickly jumped from a straightforward legal definition to the culture at large lexicon. It did so because there is nothing abstract about the terms. Instead, they are clear-cut and irrefutable. Here are the simple-to-understand definitions of those two words:

Conversion is a noun and has two meanings listed.

“the process of changing or causing something to change from one form to another.” and “the fact of changing one's religion or beliefs or the action of persuading someone else to change theirs.”

Therapy is another noun and has two meanings listed as well.

“treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder.” and “the treatment of mental or psychological disorders by psychological means.”

The very basis of Christianity is to convert souls from dark to light, to convert the sinner into a saint, and convert worldly behaviors into godly maturity. They want to convert carnal ways of thinking about sex to agreeing with what they believe is “God’s creative intent” for what they consider biblical sexuality.

Exgay efforts seem a textbook example of what “conversion” means in this context.

Now therapy can mean licensed professional counselors (usually Christian) seeking to heal someone’s “broken” sexuality. However, therapy isn’t limited to the professional counselor’s office. Therapy aims to heal something considered abnormal or disordered and doesn’t have to be licensed by the state. Ever heard of aroma therapy? Massage therapy? Physical therapy? Light therapy? … shopping therapy :)?

Exgay groups consider being LGBTQ+ as outside God’s intent for the natural order. In other words, a disorder. Many of them blatantly call it a disorder. These groups exist to have group meetings, retreats, and programs, create resources, and conferences to “relieve or heal” homosexuality or gender identity issues they errantly call sin and brokenness.

Exgay ministry is a clear example of conversion therapy with a pastoral approach. In other words, it is the pastoral counseling version of conversion therapy.

It’s baffling that exgay groups hate being called that. To me, it’s such a generic description and not deceiving. But Stephen’s terminal uniqueness and unwillingness to get past his bad faith arguments and cynicism indicate the bigotry he will not let be challenged in his mind. And to some extent, that is true of all exgay groups. A complete unwillingness to be challenged or truly held accountable. Always quick to jump on the false persecution bandwagon. I know; I was a leader in that world. Sometimes it is hard to fathom. I used to believe like that and defend those stigmatizing beliefs without objectivity and only with shallow talking points.

Stephen, just because you don’t like being accurately described with commonly accepted definitions doesn’t make it false or a “ruse.”

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