One thing I have learned almost eight years outside of the stained glass closet is that all the human frailties and hypocrisy you can find in the religious right are also found in the progressive left, secular policy activism, national advocacy groups, local neighborhood HOAs, community programs of any flavor, and … you get the drift.

Yesterday wrote a heartbreaking article about Sam Brinton. I had lengthy conversations with Sam around four years ago, but they were the one asking questions about my journey out of Exodus. I didn’t know the details of their story until the past week or so after Sam was charged with stealing some very expensive luggage.

After Wayne’s article, everything they said about themselves and their story of being a conversion therapy survivor is in question. Add that to Sam’s legal issues, and it feels like a kick in the gut.

While I cannot argue with Wayne’s questions (very good ones), I love Sam. They were one of the few activists genuinely gracious to me at the time. Sam listened to me and offered me space. Now, what they thought of me privately, no clue. But in those conversations, I could tell they were fully present and interested in what I had to say. I want nothing but the best for Sam. I hope they will be more forthcoming with the details Wayne is seeking answers for and what happened with the luggage.

It reminds me of when Wayne also busted John Paulk at a gay bar many moons ago. That was a huge kick in the gut when John and I were both still in the ex-gay world. Devastating. Now I get it and have way more compassion but back then, absolutely horrendous and difficult to process. There was a tidal wave of anger/criticism/feedback from both the church and gay activists over John’s “fall.”

I noticed I had the same feeling for Sam yesterday as I did for John way back then. They are so different, so I wondered why the kick in the gut feeling wouldn’t leave. Well, I didn’t wonder long because it became clear rather quickly.

Beyond The Stained Glass Closet is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

They both painted a picture of themselves that endeared them to their supporters, which wasn’t fully honest and deceptive in some ways. Both are highly inspirational people with high public profiles on volatile issues. John in the past within the religious right and Sam now with their advocacy efforts and position within the Biden administration. They both had power and didn’t steward it in a way that fits their public persona; they let down many people. John eventually owned all of his truth. I am hoping Sam will, too.

That’s why one of my life mantras about sharing my story is to never talk past what I actually know and believe to be true and have lived. Otherwise, it is an opinion, a perspective, not fact. Facts are facts; opinions are opinions.

Again, I want the best for Sam as justice in the stolen luggage case takes its course, and they are punished for their confessed crime. I am sure this case is a top priority for them now, but hopefully, they will come to a place to answer Wayne’s questions at a time when they are ready.

And when all of that is said, I think this is an opportunity for introspection for progay organizations and individuals to look at why we tend not to vet the inspiring leaders within our midst; similarly, as a culture, what is it about this dynamic that allows for this to happen?

Necessary introspection and cultural analysis indeed.

Get full access to Beyond The Stained Glass Closet by Randy Scobey at randyscobey.substack.com/subscribe