guys I'm having a lie down and I've made myself a cup of coffee it's absolutely unbearable without coffee life is beyond really Beyond I mean the pain in my head absolute throbbing pain and I didn't have my amitriptyline so it could be that but I don't think it is is it it's coffee so I've got a coffee here I'm going to drink it the the detoxing I mean I haven't eaten I'm not eating until two that's that is a Doddle not eating for 24 hours Bring It On Bring it on I have no problem with that but no coffee is other level um cold turkey you know so um I also I need to know if it's the coffee that's giving or the lack of coffee that's giving me headache I know I sound like a junkie don't I like always got an excuse oh my God I don't want to sound like that um I've done my I did 10 minutes on the exercise bike it's all done and I'm I'm well into my fast and I'm detoxing from you know life life and drugs not illegal drugs at this stage of my life you know legal absolutely medication given by the doctor um and I I feel great I feel really energized I've done my exercise but this nagging frontal lobe headache you know so I'm going to let you know I'll show you it live so I take a cup of coffee live on air see if my headache goes look it's here hang on
oh my God it's elixir of the Gods and the goddesses
um how long does it take to get through your body through your bloodstream I'm guessing quite quickly let's go straight into your stomach and your stomach I don't know just how long does it take to absorb the caffeine do you know what I think it's I think it's working
is this meant is this an emotional attachment is this mind over body is this habit of a body I mean all these questions but you know what I'm the throbbing is lessening guys it's it's true it's absolutely true getting off coffee is worse than getting off heroin oh not that I'd know I've never had to do that I've had to do many things but not that oh yes this is this is bloody marvelous I'm telling you I went into a deep pit there a really a deep pit I'm so glad you could join me to find out how I'm doing I'm gonna be blogging podcasting vlogging filming all day today um I really want to share everything that my body is going to go get put through in the in the coming days I don't think the headache's completely gone um but yeah I'll do an update a bit later on and I'm going to go out shortly and get lots of lovely food high protein food and maybe some nice vegetables yeah when you do this fasting thing this is when you do this fasting thing all you need to do to get you through is look forward to a wonderful meal that you're going to have later or a wonderful cup of coffee or whatever it is dream about it go into your mind's eye and you know see what it is that you're going to devour when your fast is over I mean I can really see why Muslims fast it's such a cleansing time it must be part of the reason why they do it you know to um I mean I don't know anything about the Muslim faith other than Ramadan but I I assume it's to connect more with God what I'm trying to connect with that you know or is it to thank God or something I mean I'm not a religious woman I'm not knowledgeable about the religions of the world I feel a bit ignorant but um hang on a minute
[Music] um oh gosh I just want Marvel absolutely marvelous um I think when you when you get rid of food because your your body is not concerned with digestion which takes up so much mind-bending power you know I mean it really is um it's miraculous really but it's also very intense digesting food is intense and you know if you want to feel more grounded that's why I'm doing it I want to feel grounded guys I want to feel uh in control of my illnesses and my you know the aging process I want to feel it connecting to that aging process I don't want to think of it as a a dying process I want to think of it as a living process I think there are lots of ways we can do that actually and this is one of the ways that I'm doing it through fasting regular fasting I'll do this twice a month it's 24 hour and then the rest of the time it's 18 hours through exercise you know I was exhilarated after my I only did 10 minutes and I didn't do it for heart very fast on my exercise bike but I was exhilarated by it completely and utterly exhilarated didn't last long though needed coffee my I had a personal trainer once when I lived in Brighton and he told me that um it was good to have a cup of coffee before your workout because it tells your body that it's going to do something you know it gets it in excitement mode how wonderful I mean it is a drug isn't it right I'm gonna go and drink the rest of this and enjoy the rest of my day I'm going to dream about food and what meal I'm going to have and then I'm going to go to Aldi and I'm going to resist buying a protein bar I don't know if I'll manage that this is so this is really an exercise in will I think that's what the the Muslim thing might be you know um how would I describe that exercising the world to deny something you know that you want it's very strengthening it's very empowering to do that it's it makes me feel um virtuous as well which is ridiculous but it's very empowering to feel that you are your desires don't run away with you you know it's sort of hedonistic eat everything you can Buffet lifestyle that we live in because that's the Crux of it isn't it we can have anything we want and we do it doesn't make us happy exercise restraint you'll enjoy it honestly really enjoy it is that a bit like tantric sex as well excuse me I'm just gonna have another sip of my coffee and think about that um
awesome tantric sex I think they delay the orgasm do they ever orgasm I don't even know if they do they delay it because it's it adds to the pleasure I'm not sure how true that is I've never tried it really I mean I think I get annoyed with that I'm celibate so what would I know so yeah anyway that's it I'm off I'll be back soon though I'm not going to leave this uh I'm gonna this is my new regime lots of talking lots of filming lots of sharing no more solitary I server learn it disappearing in my head my headache's completely gone by the way disappearing into my head being isolated you know being a bit autistic about life no more of that so my new regime is sharing sharing and caring so you're going to hear a lot of me going on see you later