Episode #12

How to Use Discipline Effectively with Your Young Kids

Ahh… the dreaded D word: discipline. Today, Kelly is offering tools to discipline effectively in every situation. However, the tools she offers are based on these two absolutes:

First, every child is unique.Many parents want one kind of discipline that will work for all of their children, but discipline is not “one size fits all”: it should be unique to each child.

Second, discipline should change as a child grows. A time-out may be effective for a four-year-old, but not for a fourteen-year-old.

Based on these Two Absolutes, Kelly is offering five tactics for effective discipline.

1. Mindset

   1. You have to be in the right mindset to be effective in your parenting.
   2. You’ve got to be firm, consistent, and constant.
   3. Focus: spend dedicated time on the discipline issue you want to correct.
   4. Discipline should be “as soft as you can, as much as you need.”
   5. If you threaten, follow through: don’t confuse your kids.
   6. Kids need firm boundaries to feel safe.
   7. Create effective, efficient, unique-to-my-child discipline.

   8. Connect

   9. Speak about your children using positive words.

   10. Connection is key - when you connect with your child, they become open and receptive.

   11. Family Meeting

   12. Let your kids know the plan.

   13. Give them a chance to suggest ways that they can show up well.
   14. Family meetings help your kids feel heard, even if you aren’t able to give them what they want.

These first three steps (mindset, connection, and family meeting) are all pre-game strategies. If you address these areas beforehand, you establish trust with your child before the issues arise, and harsh discipline won’t be necessary.

1. Explain the Plan

2. The Carrot

   1. Work with positive motivators.

   2. Choose this thought: I’ve established boundaries and will hold firm, so that I can allow for flexibility.

   3. Be firm in your boundaries, but flexible in how you achieve them.

   4. Rules for Negatively Disciplining

   5. Sometimes, even with all the prior steps, you still need to enact negative discipline. In that case:

      1. Make the discipline unique to that child.
      2. Understand that it needs to grow and change with him/her.

Here are three ways to connect with Kelly:

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