Tales in Two Minutes- Jay Stetzer, Storyteller: Recent Episodes

Jay Stetzer, Storyteller

"Tales in Two Minutes" brings the popular radio sound byte to the podcasting arena. All stories come from the creative imagination of Jay Stetzer, a master storyteller, whose popular tales have been broadcast on radio since 1991. It's storytelling at it's best! Each entry brings you a personal story, a family story, a true story, a bold-faced lie, an urban folktale, a traditional folktale, a myth, a musing, a meditation, a bit of humor, some irony, and even a little schmaltz for good measure. Tune in and take a 2-minute break, whatever you're doing... it'll make your day! You can find me on the web at www.jaystetzer.com.

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There are many brilliant people employed in the invention of household devices.

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Ever since he was a kid, my nephew had an instinct for money.

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You wish you had more of it, and you want it sooner than later.

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A lesson in life and death...

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The 'real' story about my mother...

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Peter was one of four brothers in his family...

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Irene had Mr. Fisher for Grade 11 History.

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Jim Porter misplaced his cell phone.

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Ever since she was a little girl, she wanted to be a nurse.

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They moved to a new home recently...

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When Jake got a fine job in Chicago, he was thrilled, but not totally...

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Bob and Shirley Alexander were our next-door neighbors...

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Phil has been bulking up…

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The Old Reverend’s got himself into a bit of a fix...

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Chris was your average 3rd-grader...

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Takes one to know one, Mr. T!

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At first, I was skeptical, but...

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The problem is that my family won’t drink anything but whole milk...

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This was the captain’s very first such meeting...

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I just turned 50 not too long ago...

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We started by adding a half-gallon of gas to his tank...

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Things got uglier when some people yelled...

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I grabbed my trusty ten-speed and headed off down the street...

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I find the metric system to be pretty simple.

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Great Aunt Martha just happened to be one of those types...

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What a prince of men he is!

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My buddy Jim became a Navy chaplain.

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Mensa is an organization founded in England in 1946...

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Mendel was a merchant, and he was worth a fortune...

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Bill and Rose are getting up there in the years...

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I learned that Marianne loves poetry, and she loves the out of doors...

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It happened one day when Gandhi was boarding a train...

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A lady’s handbag is something of a symbol...

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Not all tales of love are happy.

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Hilda was forever misplacing her keys ...

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Melvin keeps a file of newsworthy items...

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My friend Susan had a lot of medals...

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It was 3 in the morning when Old Charlie’s phone rang...

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When I was growing up, we had the meanest folks in the whole world!

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Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent...

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You know the one I’m talking about. Everybody knows about it...

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It’s become something of a tradition, I guess...

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The debate has sometimes gotten pretty wild and woolly...

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My daughter became quite interested in the idea of marriage when she was four years old...

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It wasn’t too long after Barb and David started dating...

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The following week, they discussed it and they made an appointment...

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Timmy told his dad that he wanted to marry the little girl across the street...

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The game I’m talking about here is the inter-office softball game...

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Two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother...

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The time has come for Marianne to make another move.

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The key to her success?

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The race was run on the same course covered by the Greek hero, Phaidippides...

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Dawn broke on Sunday, a rainy cold morning...

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But he figured wrong...

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The boys had been up in their grandparents’ attic together...

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Janice’s daughters adopted her philosophy...

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All night long he scanned the horizon.

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Been climbing trees lately?

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I often get a kick out of the interesting metaphors...

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Doctor Wilson was to go to trial for malpractice...

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Nick was there for all the obvious reasons...

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And just for good measure, she traded in her Honda for a pickup...

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He grabbed his gear and drove out to the edge of the course...

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You know, kids can sometimes be downright cruel to one another...

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He knew how hard his father had to work to put him through college.

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Lucy’s mother is sick… again.

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Mary and her husband Jim have a dog named Lucky…

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She eventually narrowed the field to two "finalists".

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I grew up expecting life to move in a predictable progression…

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Sally Tenderloin was an Independent-Minded Young Woman...

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Nothing has changed in the house they shared together since she's been gone.

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Her plan was obvious to the two young singles...

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Well, she bought a computer, and it came with a modem, of all things.

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It wasn't a pedigree or anything like that...

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So much for the good news...

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He’s also a real travel bug...

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The loon sat there completely passive.

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Marge is a high powered business woman.

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It saddens my heart to give you this report

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It was a textbook opportunity for some “male bonding”.

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They thought I was making it all up...

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He spent a couple of hours in the rectory kitchen making sandwiches...

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Gertrude wasn’t one to shy away from her opinions…

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The move to the new school has been smooth and fruitful...

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We found a little open-air cafe along the beach...

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It's about Joel...

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Young Judah had just gotten his driving permit...

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Only hitch was that the game was delayed...

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Members of the tribe were dying from unknown causes...

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And just what kind of magic do you think it has?

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She called our society wasteful...

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She was born Mary Jane West to a middle-class family in Brooklyn...

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Perhaps he was consumed by his career...

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We were stunned by her actions...

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It happened every Wednesday...

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I call it “Dueling M&Ms”.

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Maxwell T. Spleenwort had a horrid childhood.

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It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents...

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Bill and Jamie have what you might term a... traditional marriage.

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She said it like it was everyday common knowledge.

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The soldier felt out of place.

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The words read, “Is anybody out there?”

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Canada long had its own silver dollar...

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The price of luxury...

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Queen of quasi-cuisine...

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Ignorance is bliss

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A little lucky corporate humor...

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A child's view of a flash...

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Oh, from the mouths of children!

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A children's song has implications...

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Well, Martha had us clean the house from stem to stern.

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This is the time when the Cree Indians hunt migrating geese.

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Canadian geese know this place, as do the white swans.

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They were married in a small church in a little village.

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He was taking pilgrims on a tour of the Holy Land.

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"Do you want to go out later after you get off work?"

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"Daddy, do you always wear a belt?"

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Shiro seemed always to accept what the earth had to offer.

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It actually started years ago when he was a young man.

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Rick belongs to a little church in his town down South.

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The goldenrod particularly amused her.

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“Your ‘Golden Award'? Where is it?”

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Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.

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Sammy had been out since early morning, looking to exercise his light fingers.

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It all started in the beginning, when God created heaven and earth...

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The Lord will provide for me...

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All his life, the eagle thought of himself as a barnyard chicken.

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For those kids who live far away...

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She wanted a poodle...

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"Guess you caught me red-handed."

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Some folks say we are as we dress...

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He’s been in the trenches for nearly 30 years.

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Seems they’ve disappeared off the face of the earth.

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“He told me he was going to be a donut.”

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. Can you teach your donkey to read?

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It just wasn't worth it trying to retrieve the donkey.

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How could a kid not like a big black Lab?

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I suppose everybody knows at least one person who marches to a different drummer.

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"Dixie" spread throughout the newly formed Confederacy.

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Mom photographed the whole thing.

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But that didn’t stop him from pursuing his life’s passion...

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He carefully explained the situation in detail to Liz’s little brother.

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The world was watching.

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Old and young are on the bandwagon...

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You can pick your friends, but...

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There are winners and there are losers...

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This may sound strange, but it's true… and it’s relevant

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In wine there is wisdom...

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He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house.

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There once was this important football game between two teams.

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It had just begun to rain, so she hailed a taxi and off they went.

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Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

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He had this vision of hitting it big, so once a month he tried his luck at the one-armed bandit.

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He asked for a dollar.

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Ever have something happen to you that just defies explanation?

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So he took matters into his own hands.

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Ever since he was a kid, my little brother Billy has had a yen to be rich.

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Seems that everyone and everything grated against him one way or another.

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So I asked where they went to school

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He lives with his wife Barbara down in Pollywogg Holler.

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The general's wife met him at the door.

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It was this month back in 1762 that he was undergoing a serious case of nervousness.

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They were walking home from a visit to the Eastman House...

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The dog walked down the street to the corner

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He had three young children and she's taken on that responsibility.

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It was one of those heart-to-heart types of conversations.

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Lord Julius bolted upright from the cot.

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"Where my family came from."

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They've been married long enough to get their act down to a minor art.

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This is her second career after successfully raising 4 children.

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The snow looks like it’s going to last forever...

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My buddy Tim and his wife, Susan, are dutiful parents.

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Jean moved to the town of Wellington near West Palm Beach, Florida.

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You know what waiting in an airline terminal is like.

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She was feeling bloated, like an overinflated football.

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My friend Jeannie came through hard times not too long ago.

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There were two of them—a senior training supervisor and a new young employee...

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Once the tank was full, she put the hose back in its cradle, jumped into the car and headed out.

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He jumped at the chance to move to New York.

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Rich had just ground up the skin of some smoked salmon in the garbage disposal.

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Christine and Alan met while working on their senior project at a Midwestern University.

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My buddy Bennie is a gambler.

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I find myself actually reading the classified section of the newspaper-- cover to cover.

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It all happened because Bill got into drinking water.

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Ms. Halloway takes her job as the fourth grade teacher seriously.

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There was a young soldier whose valor and skill were unsurpassed.

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Jake received a little gift from his daughter Allie not too long ago.

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Marianne has placed her desk directly in front of her bedroom window.

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One fine warm afternoon, a group of frogs was traveling through the woods.

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He wasn’t exactly sure how and when the change occurred...

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Bill has a great dog… as smart as they come.

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It was one of those days in the third-grade classroom.

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She lived high on a hill in the center of Athens.

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We arrive at Clayton and walk through the remains of the old estate.

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So they rode with all the windows open.

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Well, now, Jeb went fishin’...

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Poor Jimmy was having a time of it. Ninth grade.

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He is the first African-American fighter pilot in history.

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Henry and Martha are getting on in years.

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My friend Michelle does birthday parties.

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He didn’t recognize her at first.

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Bill and his son share a kind of bond that stories are told about.

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Frederick Douglass used that as an opportunity to teach slaves to read and write.

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Davis just hung his head and mumbled, “Fractions.”

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She waited for a chance to point out the problem.

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"Why are you crying, horse? Have you lost your way?"

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The geese had returned.

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The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.

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It's an inspiring scene, to be sure...

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They had never actually seen a live football game before.

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It crept in late Saturday night while the whole town was sound asleep.

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I had a dream last night, and, BOY, was it ever a doozie!

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The legendary urbane version of this story goes something like this...

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Franklin didn't discover electricity.

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An unlikely "frienemy..."

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Jenny and Bill are expecting their second child, and they’re thrilled about it.

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Stephen had four sons, all of them strong and sparky and full of life.

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Long ago, there lived a certain monarch of a great Eastern Kingdom.

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As the Czar went riding in the countryside one day...

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Think merry old England. But don’t think kings or castles.

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Richie is friend of a friend of the daughter of my friend Bob...

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So he fired up his number one sermon, “Forgive Your Enemies."

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With kids you become a forensics expert...

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My wife and I like to travel to foreign countries...

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By noon, he stopped at a town for lunch.

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I am sad to tell you that I need to sell it...

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Ellen Kuzwayo was a woman of many talents

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Jake always did have a sense of humor, though...

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Have you had any Graham crackers lately?

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The passerby wasn't satisfied with the guard’s answer.

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Chris and Luke are the best of friends.

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It had been a particularly wet summer.

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Dave and Cindy have a storybook romance going.

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Bouquets arrived with startling regularity.

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She was born in Florence, Italy to English aristocratic parents.

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She’s a top flight plumber and a not-half-bad carpenter.

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Everybody has a nightmare story about work.

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Hello and welcome to Alaska Flight 438 to San Francisco.

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The very name was tantalizing to her brother.

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A career of flattery, you say? I have heard of such fools.

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I kept a flashlight under my pillow in the bedroom.

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Remember them?

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Zeke went fishin'...

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Bill took his grandson Timmy down to the river for a morning of fishing.

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Amy has just turned four...

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Their first official Thanksgiving as a married couple...

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I call it a cultural changing of the seasons.

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Who was the first President of the United States?

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Jim and Helen have a beautiful daughter named Zoe

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I understood why he turned down my invitation, and a lot more.

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A bit of history...

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A Mass was held to celebrate the installation of a bishop.

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It’s been a while since Heather and Marcy have seen each other

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The neighbors headed out back, just as Billy came in through the front door.

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The last garage sale. And, boy is it ever a doosey!

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Fay Chester had her hands full.

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The fawn was just a few weeks old, and it was getting weak

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But he was more commonly known, to Tony anyway, as Fatso.

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Henry makes his living as technician for a medium sized engineering company.

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There are all kinds of stories of how we use up our quarter-hour.

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As she got dressed for work, Rosemary felt like she was on top of the world

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Farmers wanted to fence it in to protect their crops. Ranchers needed just the opposite...

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If you want a career with a steady learning curve, become a teacher.

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Maddie had been putting off cleaning the attic for years.

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Paul started his new career in a new town far from home.

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It was getting time for Sam to leave the farm and make his way in the world.

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My buddy Larry teaches kindergarten.

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He told me about the most bizarre dream he had the night before last.

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Ever since he was little, he loved his father’s hands.

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Today her counting stopped at number one: her father’s coat.

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Ah yes! The wedding day…

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One year a newspaper reporter paid him a visit...

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A man and a young teenage boy checked in to a hotel and were shown to their room.

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I’m referring to the appearance of one Elvis Presley on the American scene

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The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me on the airplane.

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The wise old man was happy to speak with Nasrudin...

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It's all about parking tickets...

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On any given day, you can see three old geezers sitting at a sidewalk table outside the Chatawile.

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I was a very curious child...

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"I will give an automatic ‘B’ to anyone who would prefer not to take the final exam.”

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Sounds very simple...

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There once lived an old hermit by a soft flowing river.

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In fact, the only problem was her finger nails.

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Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.

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Just about everybody I’ve ever talked to is proud of their family tree.

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His son said, "I was chased by a black snake!"

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Over in Bozeman, Montana there was this rancher, y’see...

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I have to hand it to my brother Dale.

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Elliot’s dad gave him some advice for his first date.

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I hated the first day of school.

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The father asked the son, “What is that?”

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There was once a woman who gave birth to a baby girl.

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Bob and his daughter Jenny had this “thing” about fishing.

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Jerry’s a roofer. He’s been one for almost 20 years.

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The kids in the day care center down the street have been learning all about the firehouse recently.

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The rest of her body was equally impervious to heat.

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Romance knows no limits.

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My hometown had a volunteer fire department.

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She felt the chill of the evening, sitting there alone on her living room couch

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My sister could probably qualify as a generic fanatic. What

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An interesting idea on paper… then again…

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For the third year in succession the rains failed to fall.

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In 1945, there was a young boy of 14 interned in a concentration camp.

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Josh was completely out of it on the day of his final exam.

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Jim likes his coffee with a little milk and sugar.

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A catcher learns a lot behind the plate...

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There was a little country school a couple of miles from my house...

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It was spring but it was summer he wanted...

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Frog and Toad were friends.

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They were all arrested, tried, and convicted of homicide.

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He had a small company of his own.

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And, lo, they gained 10 pounds.

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“If you promise to put some water in the cup every day, something may happen.”

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One of them said, “Kinda makes it hard to be a criminal these days.”

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Grandma came to live with us when I was nine.

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Dave took his kids down to Florida to visit their Grandpa.

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One lone survivor was washed up on a small, uninhabited island.

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Brother owl, Tecolotl, was also trying to escape.

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Bill and Linda have been married for fifteen years.

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The story of Gregor MacGregor has to top them all.

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She recognized them at once... her neighbors...

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Ted couldn’t wait to get back to college.

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Margaret has been blind since childhood.

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Chocolate candy. Chocolate anything...

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All Steven ever wanted to do is sing.

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A comely feline that became something of an annoying creature.

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She hated getting old.

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As he snips away, Al asks "What's up?"

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At first, the sight took her breath away.

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I grew up watching The Little Rascals.

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What did your mother say about the glass?

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This was one of those days you could call “simply delicious.”

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They took walks together. Father and daughter...

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Brenda went rock climbing.

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As a child I spent hours staring up at the stars on hot summer nights.

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He’s been there a quarter of a century.

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She suggested to her mom that she get a computer.

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The car died suddenly right in the middle of their trip.

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The monastery he chose had only one wrinkle, as far as he was concerned.

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It must be fun to live in a vintage mansion like one of these...

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The man had several dozen hutches full of rabbits.

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What would the holy word sound like in the hands of college students?

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So, Jonathan finally graduated from high school...

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Josh was completely out of it on the day of his final exam.

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When she got back to her car she found that she had locked her keys inside...

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Edna’s had a full, rich life, by anybody’s estimation

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A bit of history for your day!

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She goes in and wanders up and down the aisles until she spots a perfect goodie.

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The one thing that really grated Jenny was her dad’s “money under the mattress” habit.

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In fact, both kids have become extremely safe drivers.

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To tell you the truth, he was pretty proud of his new toy.

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Everybody and their uncle is out of town on vacation this month.

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All in all, it’s a good career for her.

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Now, Jerry was a smart guy, and he learned his lesson from history.

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And like most hermits he DID have his quirks.

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She went out and bought a new laptop for her mom.

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She was not happy with any answers she got… or their high prices.

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He greets all of the volunteers and thanks them for coming to New Orleans.

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They headed over to the electronics department.

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It’s springtime in Florida, and my mother lets my father give her a bath each day

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40 seconds later the tickets were on top of the counter.

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I figure it'll hit him someday when he least expects it.

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The farmer was overcome with joy and gratitude.

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His clippers buzz into action, fingers gently coaxing my head to one side or another for better access.

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They had a barbecue and invited a good number of friends... and the weather cooperated.

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Everybody went down to Turtle Creek to see Hattie get baptized.

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I gotta tell you, this is gonna be the big breakthrough in data presentation and storage.

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All through high school Hank had his eye on sports.

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And so he bought a bicycle. Glorious, shiny, green, fantastic.

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They figured their town’s name was just too plain.

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I must say it was quite impressive.

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“My mother always wanted me to study and read more books."

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Most people weren’t too sure they would ever see Bentley again after Sandy reported him missing.

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Here are the beer facts and nothing but the beer facts…

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You can always tell what time of year it is by the signs in Gary’s Grocery window.

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Seems that the weather had turned warm enough for the windows to be open...

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When John’s daughter Alison took up ballet as a child, he was delighted.

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Jim’s a pilot for an international airline.

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Imagine this... a competitive boat race between the Americans and the Japanese.

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Jake's been needing a new pickup truck for the last 20 years.

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It's time for a rich cup of capucino on our cosmic vacation

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They were a mainstay in every household.

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Not too long ago he was a care giver at the bedside of a dying man, holding vigil with the man’s family.

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I asked him how it’s going, and he lit right up. He said, “I’m on my way to Bombay Beach.”

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Seems that the folks in Big Lake, Texas have been experiencing a bit of an identity crisis lately.

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Leonard Odell saw possibilities in an old family formulation...

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There was one man who managed to break the bank at the casino...

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One of the many places you might visit in Bristol is the zoo...

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And she was recently interviewed for her first job by a school administrator...

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It happened in the city of Munich, Germany...

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He heard stories of all the brains they had at the school...

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Bill picked his daughter up from kindergarten...

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He is tattooed from his jaw to his ankles...

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She was riding her bike along a quiet street in her hometown...

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They hadn’t worked a single day in their lives...

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Pastor Jim tied off the cord...

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He ordered the #1 combo (burger, fry, coke) for $4.29...

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A young woman with the white cane felt her way up the steps...

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I was driving out in the country the other day...

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My mother liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then...

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Naturally, this kind of pronouncement garnered a lot of media attention...

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James held the wake in the front room of their humble home...

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I don't have to tell you how the neighbors feared him...

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The only place that they could book was the infamous Watergate Hotel...

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He didn't even give his kids an explanation...

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Everybody always asks the same two questions...

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I grew up in a big family, nine brothers and sisters...

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It was near the end of my first grade year...

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Shaun received an interesting gift for Father’s Day not too long ago...

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Elizabeth remembers how her mother played a harp...

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Old Jake lived alone...

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On this particular summer I made a remarkable discovery...

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Jim is a screenwriter over in Tinseltown...

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They were cleaning the house when they found a wooden box in the china closet...

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It’s election time again...

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Bill was given two blue books to take the exam in the classroom.

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When Max was in kindergarten they had a casual quiz concerning numbers.

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The librarian showed him a stack of cards for books that were long overdue

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There was once a mother bird who wanted to cross a river with her three chicks.

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Maybe that’s why we tormented him so much.

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A classmate asked, "What did it look like?"

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All morning long Thad was excited about going to school.

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They went camping on their honeymoon.

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“George I think you left the light on in the garden shed."

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She immediately piped up, “I want a pet!”

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Akbar stopped his horse to admire the field.

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Her cabbie is white and old, with all white hair, alert eyes, a Staten Island accent, and thin, wire-framed glasses.

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There was no way to escape...

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I’m here to tell you the tradition lives on

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My buddy Ted recently moved to California... San Francisco, to be exact.

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Mimi immediately wondered if anything was wrong.

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Sometimes on these balmy nights the air is crisp and the sky is clear.

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“Do you think there’ll be any wildlife around here?”

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You could say Carl taught by example.

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We walked in the neighborhood around her apartment.

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Funny things happen to people all the time

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This is a story of a ten-year-old cat named Rudy, and it’s true!

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Most people say The Cat in the Hat is a children’s book...

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His family lived near a major intersection.

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It had been one of those days…

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Jerry wanted to go camping in the worst way.

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Not too long ago, Bill and his wife decided to do a little camping.

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He said, "Perhaps you should leave the choir."

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My friend Marsha has a two-year-old...

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Guys and their cars. There’s no competition like it on earth.

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Called it the “death knell,” the beginning of the end...

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The parents grew a little worried because their son was unable to decide about his future career.

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They take her everywhere, which is a good thing.

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Jerry is a businessman. Has been his entire adult life.

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For months Bill had been Lynn's devoted admirer.

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Actually, the fishing went spectacularly.

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It went something like this...

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We're sitting on an island in a wilderness lake, my wife and I.

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It was a mighty hard decision, I tell you.

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Marge organized a carpool with a nearby neighbor for their sons’ soccer practices.

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Seems that Amanda might have discovered the ultimate approach to car security...

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I once took a bus trip from here to New York City.

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The owner had a tradition…

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Bill’s son Jimmy is getting to be THAT AGE…

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The commuter bus carried a motley crowd of passengers.

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Old Man Henry was a known fixture of the little town in the Southern Tier.

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The Florida lifestyle attracted him. That is, until recently.

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Horace Greeley said, “Go West, young man.” Brigham Young took him at his word.

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An old traditional brewery decided to install a new canning line.

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Boy! Is my friend Jerry upset.

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Heather realized she had forgotten her keys.

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Old Henry is on a fixed income, and not much of one at that.

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He was a model prisoner...

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Oh, it was going to be a weekend to remember!

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Normally, Leo would run away at the sight of a bigger dog.

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A curious postcard with a curious message...

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Tom is the chaplain at one of the local universities here.

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Hilda Sweeney has been a staple of her local congregation for so many years that nobody remembers when she wasn't there.

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She wished for a bowl of noodles, but she had no money!

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I guess everybody is liable to suffer a bad day once in a while.

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My buddy Bill doesn't often eat lunch at work.

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He thought, "I know, I'll ask my neighbor, farmer Murphy, to borrow his plow.

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Ed wasn’t having a very good time at college.

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Years ago Bruce was a U. S. Border Inspector between Maine and New Brunswick.

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There’s been a lot of talk about border lines up in New England these days.

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Megan is an elementary school teacher.

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His house is chocked full of tomes spanning centuries of the printed word.

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It all probably started because he grew up in a house full of people

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One thing you can’t say about Bernie is
that he is loose with his money.

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One day, some of the various parts of the human body got together for a discussion.

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There was a time when Bobby was 11 that he decided to build himself an airplane.

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They chose a scenic venue overlooking the Hudson River in Beacon, NY.

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He grew famous for his skill, and he grew full of boastful pride as well.

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Now, Jake’s wife figured it all sounded a little too fishy.

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The old guy was blind. It said so on the cardboard sign that rested by his feet.

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I sometimes see a visually impaired person tapping their way down the sidewalk.

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Last century many quarrels were settled by a duel between the aggrieved parties.

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He called the purchasing department and placed his order.

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Late one night, my buddy's Aunt Helen found her way down to the local police station.

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One day, a professor entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test.

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It had been 4 grueling years of computer science courses for John.

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Crystal remembered the thundering applause of the audience.

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Reverend Gillis is getting along with the neighbors in the area.

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Bill Taylor’s grade 7 math class. There were three boys who just couldn’t get it.

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It was hard times for Bob and his wife.

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We’ve been out of touch for a while, so we had a lot of catching up to do.

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Recently, my brother and his wife took a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.

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He gives me one of his two-barrel glares.

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Franklin carved his unique place in history through sheer genius.

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Yvonne is always the last one left waiting on the street corner at the end of each school day.

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Once upon a time, there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.

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I told stories at the Chautauqua Institution once.

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So why would anybody change their name?

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Giana and her sweetie came home one night and found a bear in their kitchen.

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I found a man at the Tampa fair this year who can grow a beard in ten minutes.

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It was a typical Sunday morning Mass at a typical Catholic church.

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Now, Jack and Marg owned a little beagle hound.

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She was an old-fashioned woman who was especially delicate about her language.

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I heard a crow barking like a dog when I went walking in the neighborhood the other day.

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Bill does not like to bargain. He’ll tell you flat out, “It’s a waste of time."

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There was this time when Old Henry had a business idea…

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Two sisters decided to take a vacation together.

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Up in heaven one day...

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Jenny's 15 the perfect age to do a little baby sitting.

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Nerro decided not to let the bank get the best of him...

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Aunt Emma came to live with them...

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It happened somewhere out in the Midwest...

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I know all too well that most folks dread going shopping at the local grocery store.

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I was on vacation for a week, and I thought I’d keep my aspirations rather low.

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It was Day 16 of Crista’s crowd-funding art campaign and things weren’t going well.

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Tim’s not the kind of guy to frivolously throw anything away that might be useful.

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Not too long ago, Portland experienced two days of freezing rain.

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Bill and Lisa are expecting a child… their second.

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No one enjoys the winter weather less than those whose flights are delayed or canceled due to a storm.

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They were boarding the plane in Portland, Oregon to fly to Los Angeles.

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A classic stereotype...

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Folks across the country are growing more concerned over the well-being of our school children...

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Something to do on a beautiful morning...

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He bought the device and brought it home.

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Be careful who you challenge!

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Hard to believe, but this one is true!

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The whole family could see it coming, especially Ted, his grandfather’s favorite.

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Funny thing about door-to door salesmen. Seems they’ve disappeared off the face of the earth. 

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It’s getting to be drama time at elementary schools across the country. 

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There was a farmer once, and he had a donkey which he described as the muscles of his farm. 

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The most celebrated of Mozart's Italian operas is Don Giovanni.

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Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of dining with my friend James and his family. 

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Pete wants to make sure his boys grow up to become responsible citizens.

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Some days I'm a dog. Some days I'm a cat.

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Lazzeri sprang his trick on September 29,1937. 

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I lost track of DJ for a long time, actually for most of his growing-up years. 

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She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

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This season it’s a dramatic rendition of Dante’s “Divine Comedy.” 

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On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. 

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On the opening night, the fight scene opened with the clashing of swords and an array of fireworks. 

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I received an invitation to my nephew’s wedding not too long ago.

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Disney World’s their number one choice for pleasure and diversion 

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Dave was driving home from work one day, feeling pretty discouraged. It 

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It’s tough to get a kid to listen to an authority figure under the best of circumstances. 

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It was his first official act as Officer Frank 

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Another true tale from the annuls of the amazing human.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat all three of these by myself!

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We all ponder those deep questions of life every now and again.  

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In the summer of 1930, Judge Crater of the New York State Supreme Court and his wife were vacationing on the coast of Maine. 

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The Thomas farm didn't need any fancy burglar alarm system. 

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The altercation caused quite a stir, needless to say 

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It was sure good to be home. 

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It happened this morning.  

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But one winter day as she drove off to school, she decided that things needed to change.  

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The words read, "Sometimes life demands different answers."

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He's big, very big. Drives a big car... can't get into a regular sedan. 

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Gramps and little Harold took a walk the other day. 

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He was frightened of his dad.  

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When she got to the plaza you’d think there was a convention going on. 

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It has to do with the question of chance versus destiny. 

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I just know I had a story idea around here somewhere.  

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Now, Jake’s son has always been fascinated by young children.

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Down at the Chatawile Cafe, Brian, the owner, decided to concoct a novel way to attract diners to help drum up business.  

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He’s now working as a driver for a big delivery company.

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Down the road apiece there’s this little country town. 

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They were newlyweds just finding their way through the maze of daily living in the same household. 

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He decided to spend some time in merry old England. 

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This was going to be a long morning. Or maybe not 

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Who doesn't worry about debts?

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Jerry Watson was admitted to the hospital through its emergency entrance 

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I know you're out there somewhere...

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If you don't mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs. 

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Heps been preparing his garden...

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The Countess of Orkney, who died at an advanced age, was deaf and mute.

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Hilda lived in New York City, and like everybody else there, she owned a dog.  

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Time to take a REAL break!

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Bill just got his first job as a cub reporter.

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My wife suffered a broken hip awhile back.  

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I often find that my greatest teachers are some of nature’s smallest creatures. 

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We decided to go French. 

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She put it in her shopping cart and began browsing.

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I’m always surprised by the ease with which I give out my credit card number.

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Jim’s great aunt died last January.

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Everybody down at the office was wishing they were somewhere else.

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I don’t have to tell you that we’re living in a very creative time.

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She was twenty when she snapped. 

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Isobel’s an artist, and she has clear recollections of making art for hours on end.

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Pat McColm has filed dozens of lawsuits against the neighbor children.

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Melissa had just moved to Manhattan. 

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My dad used to call some folks crackpots. 

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It was none other than Cracker Jacks, a kid's best buy for a nickel.  

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Old Charlie Johnson had been fishing the Erie canal most of his life.  

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Now coyote was a dancin' fool.  Couldn't help himself.

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I know this sounds like another one of those urban folk tales...

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Art was brought up on a farm. 

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We have one cow. We sell her milk to our neighbors who do not live too far away...

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“Hi, Johnny. What’s that you’ve got in your hand?” 

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There’s this curious story about an alimony case.

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It happened in a little town down in the Southern Tier. 

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Christine has seen a good deal of life for her 70 years.

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Now I know this is not an easy topic to talk about...

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I visited my sister once while her husband was away on a business trip.  

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A big lettered banner that said "Country Store" hung in front of the tiny establishment. 

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Bill’s a city boy through and through. City born. City raised...

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When Jake was young doctor he went to look at a practice that was up for sale...

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Sven took a fancy to those sheep...

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They're a delightful assortment of characters, and good company at the beginning of the day...

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Cottonwoods have a unique quality...

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Just how much does a miracle cost?

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Americans everywhere love the romance of farm life... 

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Jerry wasn’t all that surprised when he got the phone call from Florida...

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I guess you could say he had a warped sense of entertainment. 

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Here’s where impaired judgment comes in...

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I wasn't cool as a young man... I was far from it...

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Early one Sunday morning Bessie put a new batch of greens on to steam...

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A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight...

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I entered a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and gave our order. 

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Who knows the genesis of childhood fantasies? 

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It was first developed by Harry Coover, a PhD chemist at Eastman Kodak. 

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He offered to take her shopping for a new dress. She was thrilled! 

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We walked down to the beach to watch the sunset.  Everybody does on the island.

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John Christian was, of all things, a Sunday School teacher.

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We enjoy exotic vacations. 

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Spring is in full swing. 

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I have spent little time in a hospital, very little, as little as possible. 

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She started losing her eyesight right in the thick of it all.

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Tom’s a career Navy man who works on a Navy submarine, and he loves his job.

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"I will return as a ghost and cause you endless trouble.” 

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Ever wonder who makes up those stupid questions on those idiotic questionnaires?

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The great Desmond Tutu was no stranger to discrimination. 

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She can’t throw anything away.  

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My buddy Jack is a professional photographer. 

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The outhouse at the cottage was like most outhouses at most cottages along the lake... 

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You could say Jess and Jack are aficionados of stuff. Old stuff. 

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Dr. Sweeney is an esteemed professor at a nearby university. 

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On Martha's Vineyard, off the coat of Massachusetts, Jim and his wife Katie work for the local newspaper delivery service. 

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I could tell this man was genuinely happy. 

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Uncle Willie had never touched a piece of electrical equipment in his life.

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Each day they sit in silence on the bench at the edge of the park.

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The discussion about the Black Barber Shop has reached mythical proportions. 

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Jake decided it was time for a little updating in his kitchen. 

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An old four door 1979 Buick Electra. Bought new out of a catalog by her dad’s dad. 

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My folks are both well into their eighties. 

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That night the oil in all the other lamps went out. 

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There was a kid from our neighborhood not too long ago who was looking for ways to earn money.

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I’ve had this “thing” about words ever since I was a kid. 

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Not too long ago, Jake moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club.

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For ten sweaty minutes, they immersed themselves in the game. 

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Once there was a King who decided to see what his subjects would do if they had an obstacle in their path. 

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Aunt Gladys has finally made the BIG move. 

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There were a couple of nuns who were nursing sisters...

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Frank had an acting job in Malaysia 

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"These here are peppers. What don't you give one a try."

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The day wore on and the judge plied his way through one case after another. 

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Kevin has taken an indefinite period of time off work. 

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Most horses sleep standing up or lying on their sides. 

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We all like to put a positive spin on our actions. 

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"Mister South wind, how would you like to get married and be my husband?" 

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Officer Frank decided that a little community service would be in order. 

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You could say that once in awhile he finds himself in some pretty hot water.

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Two ticks to the second means 120 ticks per minute...

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He struck up a deal for a spankin' new convertible complete with all the bells and whistles known to man.

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The first thing he did was to take a tour of the facilities, 

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While she was on the operating table, Ellie had a near death experience. 

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I should have known the moment I saw the crystal hanging from his neck where he usually wore a tie.

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Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore...

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Even though the son was always on the bench, his father never missed a game. 

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Watermelon was Sam's absolute favorite fruit. 

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By the time the semester ended, Frank was a basket case.  

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People do all kinds of quirky things when they speak in public ...

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I was 8 years old and Tommy was 3 years older...

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He possessed an outstanding collection of silk ties from his former life that he no longer found useful.

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I was visiting my folks in Florida recently.  They’re in their 80’s and could use a little help.  

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Back in the days when NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training out West on a Navajo Indian reservation. 

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The year was 1941 and they were both five years old, and they became fast friends. 

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Ever since the day I was born, I've worn something with one name brand or another on it...

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There was once a woman in England who made her living by baking pastries which she sold at a tidy profit to a local bakery in her home town.  

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One day these two Einsteins went out to build a house.  

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And, as they say, desperate situations require desperate measures.

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His wife was in the nasty habit of nagging him from sun up to sun down, seven days a week.  

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Life's a little thing! Robert Browning once wrote. But a little thing can mean a life. Even two lives 

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There’s no real mystery to love.  Ask any child and they’ll be happy to set you straight. 

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So he drove out to the mall to find her a present.  Something out of the ordinary that she’d both appreciate and remember for a long time to come.  

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It was in India long, long ago that a master sat down with his pupils under the shade of the banyan tree. 

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“A few years ago I met a young widow and we got married. 

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The last time I slept in my parent’s bedroom was when I was 6 years old. 

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My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. 

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She was holding their new grand daughter to give their son a little time off. 

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It was one of those perfectly beautiful spring days. Crisp blue sky. Ideal temperature. A real gift. 

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The conservatory’s requirements were quite stiff...

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This isn’t about James Brown, that energetic soul singer...

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Stan was a city boy through and through. 

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Mozart’s declining health convinced him that he was actually writing the Requiem for his own funeral. 

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Bill leaned over and whispered, "Son, that isn't something we say when we are out in public."

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My buddy Bill decided to take a little time this fall to exercise his mind a bit.

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Arts grow hearts. No two ways about it. 

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The principal has his hands full with the typical administrative brushfires that spark from time to time.  

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Tom and Stacy had been married for a little over two years.

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It's a steamy 93 degrees on our vicarious vacation 

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Whenever my dad had to discipline us as kids, he'd start out with a lecture.

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She grew to respect the power of the sea. 

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Noah tries to give hotel guests accurate information as efficiently as possible. 

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There are times when accidents occur and a life is saved. 

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When Sam turned 80, he made himself a list...

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Arun was too ashamed to tell him the truth. 

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There are some things about this culture that I suspect nobody likes. 

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My mother was a consummate lexophile. 

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Lewis has spent most of the 80 years of his life fishing the ocean waters beyond the Port Phillip Heads. 

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“The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” 

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There’s something about he way he looks at me that gives me to think there’s more he wants to say.  

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"I wish to tell you a story from old Japan."

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"How was the trip?" The boy said, "It was great, Dad 

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Sometimes even a dumb machine can teach us a lesson.

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Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride. 

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This Miami bank president is anything but ordinary. 

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My grandmother was famous for her cooking… or should I say “infamous!” 

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I had no idea what he was talking about, and I told him so. 

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He takes his parenting role rather seriously. 

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I had no idea what he was talking about, and I told him so. 

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Sue went to the bank not too long ago. 

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Time has its own way of laying out spaces. Time and progeny. 

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Old Martin was known far and wide for his wisdom and clear headed thinking. 

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Sure, there are norms, but that’s just what they are. 

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My buddy and I decided to go out for a little late-night supper. 

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This particular university there are a number of “unwritten rules” that permeate the campus. 

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The scratchy sounds returned! 

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She was the sole survivor of her entire family.

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His dying wish was to take one final ride in his Cadillac to the pearly gates.

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The nurse brought in chairs for the family and stood in a corner of the room as quiet support. 

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Stacy loved ballroom dancing. And her favorite was the waltz. 

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Leonardo worked feverishly for days. 

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Gathering all the strength he had, he lifted his body out of the bed. 

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That’s how I’ve survived. 

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Frank told me about his most embarrassing moment. 

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He had met a girl at a party in town, and he was itching to impress her with his new-found freedom. 

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Long ago in old Japan, families used bamboo and paper lanterns with candles inside to provide light in their homes at night. 

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Bill assumed that most Germans spoke English. 

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The tree outside was littered with them.  

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The property was thick with trees. 

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He’s traveling cross-country with his 14 year old son. 

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It was the silver lamp that he coveted 

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I've heard it said that sometimes the best defense is no defense. 

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Long time ago, the birds got together to decide who should be their king.  

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It was a bitter, cold evening in northern Virginia many years ago. 

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They didn’t get boarding passes until they arrived at the gate. 

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I suppose Valentine’s Day brings out the romance in all of us 

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The clerk’s ball-point pen froze on the paper. 

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A newspaperman heard about  a remarkable  rodeo champion down in Abilene, Texas.

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As always, kids have a take on life that we can all profit by.

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If you ever want to know what’s what about life, you don’t need to go much further than a kid. 

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A practical joke backfires...

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So she did what she could to help him out. 

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That was the day that he finally quit.

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The subject was trust, a hot topic to be sure. 

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When Melissa got the news about the diagnosis, she wasn’t the least bit surprised. 

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He wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. 

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She asked and asked about riding lessons. 

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Seniority sometimes has its advantages. 

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Joe and Ray have been friends since they were kids.

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The sea has a strange and inevitable way of claiming its own.

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Every once-in-a-while I am asked to write a recommendation for a coworker.

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Fumiko grew up in a tiny city outside Kyoto. And 

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The Norsemen named the month Thor in honor of their god of thunder and storms.  

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Lord Frothingly decided to go on a hunting safari in Africa.

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Why dost thou travel far from town to town with the goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving by tent? 

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There’s a story about a police detective by the name of Jack Mook that’s well worth passing along.

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Bill Bentley went to his family physician the other day with what has to be the oddest malady I ever heard.  

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Charlie likes to go out to breakfast. He’s been doing it since his working days.

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It’s not easy being an anomaly in your family.  

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I woke up the other morning on top of the world!

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The town board was wrestling with an important consideration. 

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It was garbage day and Bill’s neighbor asked him for some help.

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While I sipped my coffee I saw a fellow enter the Chatawile. 

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Not too long ago, there was this student ...

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A lesson in optimism...

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Testing the king's people...

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The thoughts of children... 

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Oh no! Not again!!

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There was once an adventuresome soul, Stanley by name.

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A merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. 

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Ellie has been plying her professional skill as a medical technologist at the local hospital. 

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Some say old man Murphy and his wife have been a couple for just about as long as the earth has been around. 

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It happened when Sarah’s boyfriend Mike received a promotion in his company.

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Abraham Lincoln was never greedy for fees, and he discouraged any unnecessary litigation.

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The shelling had stopped and a strange quiet settled over the battlefield 

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It was about 10 degrees outside, and there was about a foot of snow on the ground.  \

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he scene Is one of nature's most spectacular works of art.

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Now for the latest weather forecast for Christmas Day. 

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I tell you, for a guy who’s eyes were so bad, his aim was darned good.  

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He agreed to take his father to the doctor to have a series of tests. 

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Jake is an avid golfer.  He’s also an octogenarian.

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They decided to buy a Christmas tree.  

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Anybody who’s worked retail will tell you that it’s tough 

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Poor congregation. Same old message...

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Not too long ago, Billy and his father decided to pay a visit to their neighbor.

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You want to hear about hardship?

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A chilling discovery for a young child.

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Jim went to the store with his 3-year-old daughter in tow. 

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The news sent him into a tizzy. 

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A way to take the day off...

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Bob sent in an application to the Department of Motor Vehicles requesting personalized license plates for his car. 

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The Monday Afternoon Club is a crusty organization of wealthy women from the city. 

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Rick took his family to see the sights of the southwest.

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What's missing?

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The celebrated Anthony Domat was the author of a treatise on civil laws.

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Ben Franklin was a venerable patriot from the early days of this great country of ours. 

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I’m the fourth child in a family of ten kids. 

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This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. 

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“It happens all the time. Dry your eyes. Big boys don’t cry.” 

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Edwin Abbott was a 19th century Anglican headmaster who wrote a remarkable book, Flatland, in 1884.

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I sat for a while to watch the birds and squirrels at their breakfast. 

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I know the time is ripe for Thanksgiving blessings 

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Mark Twain loved to brag. 

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Every spring a bird builds its nest in the wisteria over our front porch. 

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Monday morning, the teacher announced that on Friday afternoon there would be a two-kilometer race. 

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Not too long ago, Bill made the decision to register to find his birth daughter. 

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She was headed for one of those big round numbers this year.

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They were on one of those traditional family car vacations. 

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The year was 1859 and they were stretching a rope across the Niagara Gorge.

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Since his blindness, that inner sight has become heightened.

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Susan discovered that she was having a good time, in spite of herself. 

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And I suppose you've kissed the stone.

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Remember them??

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Ian called himself the black sheep of the family, and so did the rest of his family. 

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AJ’s 14th birthday. He’d already had as much of a party as he could wish for. 

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Helen would give birth to a girl and a boy – Sofia and Connor. 

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I often think of Snowshoe Thompson on my snowy moonlight walks.

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My old college buddy Tony lives in California near the Mexico border 

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An American pal of mine was invited to  Dublin to speak to an organization. 

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He remembered that he had kept a daily journal of his own over the years. 

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Now, black eyes are interesting things. They tend to bring out immediate sympathy.

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The cat’s name is Smoky. 

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Lately, I’ve been keeping a mental list of smells 

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He’s the closest thing I know to a patron saint of lost causes. 

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My neighbor gets up much earlier than I ever could.  

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Hogranasr was a good and just man, a champion of the poor, and a popular figure in many stories after his death.

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My buddy Fred loves small-town life where you know everybody.

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Oh boy! It’s that time of the year… strep season… 

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He was so excited to learn how to skate. 

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Now, these two birds had grown up as childhood sweethearts .

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Sir Isaac Newton, better known to his homies in the hood as "Fig," invented gravity. 

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Shetara Sims had weathered some tough years 

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The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen. 

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There was once a merchant who accumulated a good deal of wealth.

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She had heard her students use the word "like" as if it were an adjective. 

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Now, here’s a guy you might relate to. 

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There was a jackass once which had grown tired of its labors.  

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Grant hopped in his car and set out on a solo road trip from Chicago to New Mexico. 

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Dave’s mother bought his father a signet ring shortly after they were married. 

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Bill had an important business meeting downstate.

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Gwen thought all this fuss about shoulder pads was just a feminist plot to make a woman look like a Green Bay Packer.  

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The boys started doing what boys do when they have a gun in their hands. 

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Henry and Margaret have been married for more than 65 years. 

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She found a bathing suit in record time, but as she was leaving, disaster struck.

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When Henry went to the college's 30th reunion, he figured he wouldn’t recognize anybody... 

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Joe said, “So what’s all this fuss you’re making over your wife?” 

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Jake is an amateur genealogical researcher.

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My nephew Mark is learning a lot about fatherhood… from his own kid. 

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Gert and Hazel were in a hurry to beat the crowds to the sales at the mall.  

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Her memory rocketed back to the time they had met. 

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Let’s get our facts down. 

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I have a sign collection. 

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Esther Pauline Freedman was born on July 4th, 1918. Seventeen minutes later, twin sister Pauline Esther Freedman was born. 

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You have Sylvan Goldman to thank for that handy device. 

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It’s hard anytime to resist the call of a clear, crisp star-spangled night sky.

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There was considerable excitement down at the Chat-a-while the other day.

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The rancher said, “Don’t grow no drugs around here.” 

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The air conditioning for the room should be plenty for the space.

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There it was.  THE SIDEWALK.  The landmark of legends.

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"Comparisons are odious," she told us.

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There was a time when Nasrudin knew his son was looking for a wife.

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I'm fourteen and I'm riding a horse for the very first time. 

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Not long ago Bill’s friend sent him a 'Viet Nam Veteran' hat.  

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Next time you're stuck in traffic, think on this...

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There was a time when I was young and foolish.  Called myself a scholar...

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Here are some actual excerpts from recent science exam papers...

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Ed’s son, Bunyan, wasn’t much interested in school. 

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Ever wonder where those old phrases come from?

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A clever young babysitter gains the trust of a family...

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Expertise comes from many places...

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It pays to know your Avon lady!

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A sensitive story about one person's kindness...

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The cleverness of a mechanic...

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Here's a remarkable story about one remarkable individual...

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The mystery of childbirth visits a country boy...

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Learning the language of country folk...

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Too much remote office work leads to too many carbs...

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Starskipper's adventure...

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Sometimes the best-laid plans...

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It's not what you say, but how you say it...

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Watching an artist mysteriously create beauty.

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Oh, the hazards of golf course hazards!

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Sacrificing your life for your art...

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This place is definitely off-limits!

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And what in the world constitutes normalcy? Listen to this...

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A Greek fable of pride, action, and consequence.

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Simple acts aren't viewed so simply...

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An interesting perspective of youth...

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And what do you collect?

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Oh boy! You know, the road to hell is paved with...

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A story from a nearly forgotten folk hero.

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A true story that's almost unbelievable!

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A far-too-punny story...

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What did they call you when you were a kid?

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A phone call, an incident, and the unexpected result...

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Oh, those church ladies' activities!

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On the nature of nature...

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A meditation on eternal things...

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It's still the BEST policy!

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A story about "cleaning the heart."

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Little things mean a lot...

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Is your glass half empty or half full?

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There's always something to learn from another's gripes...

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Think on this while you're at your computer...

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An emergency handled with style!

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Done any traveling lately? Listen to this!

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Now, what is it I was going to say??

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The vital importance of a shared effort...

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The perils of the dating scene...

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A little advice goes a long, long way...

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So what is it you were abstaining from??

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We all need a little help once in awhile...

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Have you done anything foolish lately?

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Over at the zoo, they’ve been experiencing a bit of a problem with the exotic animals. 

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He was grinning from ear to ear as he zipped down a street .

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"Your son is here," she said to the old man. 

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The process of birth is one of nature’s activities that one might well regard as miraculous. 

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Perfect timing. You're just like Dave." 

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Brett climbed into his pickup truck and drove down to the local shopping center.

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My buddy Bill just came off a stint of jury duty. 

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it was consumer's wonderland, a treasure hunt every kid dreams about.

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My buddy Jim gets about a ton of junk mail weekly.

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Our hero was a journalist who described himself as a "big, stocky bloke with a shaven head." 

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I figure he boarded the bus somewhere in the vicinity of Abeline, Kansas.

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Tom drives a beat-up old VW Beetle to and from work. 

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In India, a man was trampled to death trying to break up a love affair. 

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In most countries in the Northern Hemisphere, July is the hottest month of the year.

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There was to be a great feast for all the men of the village.  

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It all started with the jolly green giant.  

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It happened one fine night at dinner, and it took everybody by surprise. 

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Something as simple as a name can sometimes open doors of opportunity. 

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He usually jogged for 45 minutes to an hour, keeping a pretty decent pace.  

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I can do practically anything I set my hands on!

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He spent the entire afternoon at the company. 

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A friend of mine has been in the job market on and off for the past ten years.

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Joanne is happy in her 727.

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He couldn’t decide if he wanted to retire. 

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Jesse James was one of the most notorious bank robbers of the American Wild West. 

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Jerry and Mary met at a Halloween Party.  

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If you ever pay a visit to Frankfurt, Germany, you might catch a glimpse of Jenny.

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Brian had a bad day at the office. 

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When Tom started his own business, his wife had a fit over the secretary he hired for the front desk. 

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Our specific destination was a little rural town called Matsuzaki on the Isu Peninsula.

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Thank goodness most of the mistakes we make in life happen when nobody is looking. 

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Let’s go back to London of the nineteenth century, 1865 to be exact. 

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Henry raised jackasses. Now, he was a steady worker, but he wasn't all that bright.

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Jack Benny’s real name was Benjamin Kubelsky. 

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Now, Jack was a fool, and he was prone to doin' foolish things.

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It was an incident that happened in Detroit in the 1930s. 

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When I was teenager I operated under the notion that women were attracted to men by the way they wore their hair.

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I signed up for a course over at the local university. 

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I signed up for a course over at the local university. 

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Zen Master Hakuin traveled extensively throughout Japan to learn from other masters. 

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They could use the break. 

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This is a story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger.

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For ages people had been fascinated by the romance of flight. 

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Centuries ago, the country of Japan was fraught with feudal wars. 

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It started with a single sticker 

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First thing Larry and Susan did when they bought their farm years ago was to take out an insurance policy on the place.  

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One afternoon, a warrior arrived at the house of the Samurai. 

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Our friend Karen loves to cook Indian food.  And we love to eat it.  A convenient relationship...

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George and Margaret have been married long enough...

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This story's about Michael's youngest son, Tony.

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It seems like a thousand years since I was an active parent.

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He said, "everything you need to know is in your dreams, man."

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Back in the late ‘60s, Carl worked in Los Angeles and lived in Santa Monica near the Pacific. 

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“If I were a vegetable, I’d be a potato,” he said, with all the sincerity his heart possessed 

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When my dad was a young boy, he took on a newspaper route after school.

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There was a woman once who gave birth to identical twin boys.  

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For over a century, Americans have been enjoying ice cream in a cone. 

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I drop by the nearest restaurant I can find.  It’s a little fancy, but who cares 

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This... I want to remember...

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I need one of those fancy computer programs that generates stories ad infinitum.  

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I hereby tender my resignation as an adult 

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It had been a hot and harried day at the office...

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“I have grown intimate with this place,” he said to me one day.  

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Mouse balls are available as field replacement units...

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.  Our packs are feeling pretty heavy right about now...

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The granite and limestone mountain was first sculpted by nature. 

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In 2003, police in England opened a garden shed and found an abandoned dog. 

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Back when the telegraph was the fastest method of long-distance communication, a young man applied for a job as a Morse Code operator. 

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The one thing that made him go was “wanting more.” 

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They became instant rivals when they happened to apply for a single position at a computer company. 

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For one thing, mom wasn’t very good at surprises. 

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I needed to print out a portion of the script I was working on for my client. 

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Silas Barnaby ran the mercantile, and he was a very rich man.  

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The contest quickly narrowed itself to the two likely candidates...

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It seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. 

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When old Henry up and died, his widow took it pretty hard. 

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Her mother stopped the car at a Bird Sanctuary. 

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.  I asked him how things 

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My brother Dale is an air commuter. 

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The parrot must have disengaged the alarm, and he was gonna be late for work. Again. 

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There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. 

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Once they were all settled in, Jamie couldn’t wait to cook her first meal in their new kitchen. 

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"Well, I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of clubs that would be fine with me." 

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Henry was a freshman at the college of his choice, and like all freshmen, he had a lot to learn, mostly about time management.  

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.  Must’ve been something 

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Blanche found new meaning to the phrase, "What goes 'round, comes 'round" when the old cat died.  

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Back in 73' Dave bought himself a brand new Triumph motorcycle. 

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One day he was unloading a semi that had just pulled into the loading dock chocked full of boxes. 

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They moved along the keyboard with lightening speed.  

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One morning, Billy opened his eyes and saw Charlie (he's his dog), slipping his back paws into Billy’s new red shoes. 

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Early in her childhood, Daisy developed a curious hobby. 

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"Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." 

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I was shocked to hear my dad tell me that he cut his hair!

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It was the music.  It swept her up and washed over her in waves of contentment, feelings she felt as a child when she spent time with her father.  

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He had trained for months for this moment, pedaling up and down the sloping hills...

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Oh boy! Talk about a SERIOUS misunderstanding!

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The first thing Tom noticed was that the taxi was clean and polished!

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Tante Amelia is an outrageous cook!

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A dedicated music teacher attends a conference and makes an interesting discovery.

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There was once a king named Dionysus who ruled a great city in Sicily.

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Here's the name of a man you've probably never heard of, but...

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He was proud of his strength and power.

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Every day a young businessman happened to pass by a woman on the corner in front of a brick church.

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There was a storyteller in Japan whose fame is legendary to this very day.

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But he came from a poor family. Her parents weren't too happy.

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A few weeks ago he told them he needed  a new hat.

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Each morning upon waking, he scanned the horizon for help.

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Here's a little bit of Americana for all you who have enjoyed road trips.

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How strong is a community?

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A powerful true story that chronicles the value of education.

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"At this time of tellin', I'm not a pretty sight!"

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Her last project of the term was called "Smile."

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a secret plot uncovered...

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A strange discovery revealed at a parent-teacher conference/

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Not too long ago, a trio of ministers gathered for lunch at the Chatawile...

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"Baseball is a simple game!" That's what I heard one kid tell another kid on the playground...

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Granny Annie drove her beat-up Chevy everywhere.

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Barry is a doctor practicing in a nearby hospital.

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The sign at the observation deck clearly read: Gators are Dangerous!

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A very interesting way to meet a run-in with the law.

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Do you realize that the only time in our lives that we liked to get old was when we were kids?

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They dreamed of moving away to another town where there were more job opportunities.

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An ingenious way to solve an educational problem.

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Imagine that the greatest author of fables was a fable himself...

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Ever had to tell people about your accident over and over and over?

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Have you ever wondered what people think of you?

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The notion of the” computer novice” may sound as outmoded as the typewriter.

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A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate students.

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Two monks who were traveling to a distant monastery came to a swift-flowing river that they needed to wade across.

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It happened regularly during the Sabbath service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe.

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Snyder’s Department Store went under a complete and total remodeling.

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When it was time for Old Henry to move into that retirement village for seniors, he was more than willing to go.  

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It’s not easy being a salesman out on the road day after day.

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Naturally, our conversations that evening had a lot to do with babies and child rearing,

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A young man traveled to a nearby village where a great teacher lived in order to learn from him.  

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I’m always amazed by the musings of children on the workings of the adult world.

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The movie Crash was actually inspired by a true-life incident.

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We recently inherited something from our kids. Now there’s a switch!

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She travels whenever she gets the chance, and the more exotic the location the better.

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Last week my buddy Jim took his wife and kids out to  the Chatawile for dinner.

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Jonathan gets a kick out of taking his daughter shopping.

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He was a strong student and graduated high in his class ready to go out there and make a difference in the world of business.

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He was asked to prepare a memo reviewing his company's training programs and materials.

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He was recently awarded his Ph.D.  in psychology.

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Every so often I look over the want ads, just to see what employment opportunities are out there.  

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Lemme tell you about a rainstorm I heard about in the West.

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Try to find a parking space in New York City...

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A thousand years ago, or so it seems, I was made to memorize the words of a poem about Paul Revere.

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In our house we had a lot of infallible rules which I fully believed as a kid.

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Josef Stalin ran the party with an iron fist,

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One day The Supreme Force happened to be looking down at the Garden of Eden to see how its humanoid creation was doing.  

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Diana is a first-generation American of Vietnamese heritage.

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Shawn was forever putting his foot into it.

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For years I’ve had this curious Sunday morning habit.

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Old Jim Ruckert is pushing 80, and not too long ago went on down to Doc Buncher’s place for his annual checkup.

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Back in the early days of television, most of the screen personalities were well-versed in live-stage work.

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There are many stories involving the adventures of Daniel Boone, but only one that involves romance.

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I was sitting at my desk one night in my study, just doing the bills.  

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Some 80 years ago there lived a retired professor in London who pursued the most unusual hobby:  collecting graffiti.  

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My son spends a lot of his waking hours on airplanes, and a good number of sleeping hours, too.

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The evils of alcohol and often familiar character of village life was the itinerant preacher.

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I heard this story recently. And although I can’t vouch for its historical accuracy, I found it worth passing it along anyway.

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I recently spent a month in Thailand, and I was stunned by their reaction to one of my favorite movies, “The King and I.”

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Those folks down at NASA have developed an interesting new device for the purpose of scientific inquiry.  

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The name February descended from the word root "februum", which referred to the purification ritual celebrated on the 15th of the month.

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My kid brother Rick is keen on bringing up his kids right and proper.

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Now, that name isn’t familiar to the general public. But it should be.

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Several tombstones in an old Boston graveyard bear the name of Goose.  

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He thought of the Beatnik era where all his students snapped their fingers to show their enthusiasm for a poem or a well-turned phrase.

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Barbara turned and found herself looking into the hollow eyes of a street woman.

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My brother has just become a daddy, again. And he’s having a ball.

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Things Work Better When We Work Together…

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I know we’re all concerned about doing things right-- as long as somebody’s looking.

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Sometimes about this time of winter, I get to remembering the three day storm of ‘66.

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Is it true that there are no two snowflakes exactly alike?

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We blithely go about our daily business accepting things as they come without question.

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She was born into slavery in Hurley, New York, the ninth of ten children, all of them sold into slavery.

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The sun burst into my bedroom unannounced this morning.  

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It was something she had wanted to do for as long as she could remember.

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Ever since he was a kid, Jack just loved being around animals.

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Imagine this. You’re standing at the corner of East and Alexander.

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Lots of memories, lots of laughs, lots of catching up.

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My old man had a warped sense of humor. Drove me crazy as a kid.

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All through her years at college, our daughter Giana waited tables to get some fast spending money.

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She was the 20th child of 22 children. Her father was a railroad porter and her mother was a maid.

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As a young lawyer in Springfield, Illinois, Abraham Lincoln was never greedy for fees.

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My buddy Gene has just turned 85, and boy does he ever love to go fishing.

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Roberta kept getting Spam emails that beg her to take advantage of a home based business opportunity.

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It had snowed 3 or 4 inches last night.  It had snowed as much practically every day this week.

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Wendy and Steve had a terrific argument the other day just before going to work.  

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Bill was on the road not too long ago. This time it was up along the St. Lawrence River.

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A clear example of the paradox "Losing is winning."

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Tim bought a caged mongoose at a yard sale. Actually, it wasn’t a real mongoose…or a real cage.

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There were four of them, and they met every Thursday for poker.

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My good friend Bobby told me that he wanted to be a policeman. I asked him why.

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The English Language may be simple to all of us around here who use and abuse it on a daily basis.

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This incident happened to my buddy Joe, but he’ll never forget it. Neither will his in-laws. 

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How do you determine the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer?

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He is forty-five years old, and he just bought his first bed.

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He had to get as close to the falling water as he could.

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Bill didn’t have a job. So he applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft.

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Seems that every little thing went against his grain.

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Not too long after my son learned to drive, he took to the roads with abandon... fortunately not reckless.

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My buddy Bill’s wife has taken on a nine-week assignment out of town, coming home on weekends.

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Dr. Culbertson was the first person Stephen met when he moved on campus.

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John was embarrassed by his mother. She had only had one eye.

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My buddy Bill has been fighting the “Battle of the Bulge” for as long as I’ve known him.

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She was growing weary of this long-distance relationship.  At least that’s what she told herself.

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Every once-in-a-while I am asked to write a recommendation for a coworker as they move on to better pastures.  

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It’s snack time in Ben’s art therapy group for emotionally troubled teens.

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Each day when Bill came home from work, he followed the same routine.

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For years, entertainer Jimmy Durante ended his radio and television shows with an unusual sign-off...

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An old buddy of mine decided that it was time to downsize.

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When Shelly got a call telling her that their mother had experienced a heart attack, she took the news calmly.

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My kid brother was not afraid to get his hands dirty.

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The little twist of time that brings all of us pause to ponder our place on the planet…

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and that’s when all the trouble started.  

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A philosophy professor stood before her class with some items on the table in front of him.

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Sam and Helen live in a small town in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains.

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A dusting of snow had transformed the old town from a dull gray into wonderland of white.

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Once a week, my 4th grade teacher lined us up and marched us through down to the school library.

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It was a sad end to a long and difficult relationship. It’s always sad where endings are concerned.

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It looks like Jennings Osborne is gonna put up his Christmas lights on his house again this year.

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Herb had this thing about wanting to go Christmas caroling… 

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Tis the season, or so they say. But it’s also the season to take stock of things.

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A man and his dog are walking along a road, enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurs to him that he’s dead.

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Dr. Tullis drove one of the older cars on campus.

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The cat has been with the family for longer than anybody could remember.

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Stanley and his wife had the best that life could offer.  

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Sometimes your profession can lead you into all kinds of hot water.  

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Every morning when Jim gets up for work, Betty gets up, too.

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For the very first time her mom is letting her watch as she is developing photographs.

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Melissa had just moved to Manhattan. She had rented an apartment with a college friend, secured a job, and learned the subways.

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The congregation of the First United had themselves quite a stir.

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The country court was called to order.  There was only one defendant, but plenty of spectators.

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Jeb had been living in a little cabin in the woods his whole life.