Unconditional Love – Unconditional Love: Recent Episodes
None
What does a world without war look like? How can we live in community? What does it take to become a communitarian?
These are some of the questions 35 people from 11 countries (including me) spent 3 months diving into at Tamera Peace Research Center in Portugal, researching experientially under the direction and guidance of Tamerians.
If someone had told me a few months ago that I’d be doing this, I would’ve laughed at how crazy it sounded. I’m a wild free bird. I live in the moment and follow my flow. Committing to such an engagement with complete strangers, none of whom I found particularly interesting or attractive at first glance, was completely out of the question. Yet the flow had a different plan for me. And I trust the flow, so I surrendered.
The journey was interesting, challenging, and at times painfully so. It was like getting married to 34 people at the same time! Yet I never had any regrets, never felt I was in the wrong place. The physical challenges were real: waking early every day, eating only vegan food, operating on someone else’s (German) schedule, dorms and bathrooms in two different buildings…etc. But the drive to co-create a culture of love and abundance made the sacrifices feel insignificant.
Becoming a communitarian meant transformation had to happen internally, not just around me. Every day, I chose to continue. I marveled at my own capacity to adapt, often reluctantly, and at everyone else’s commitment and resilience. We kept choosing each other. Little by little, I fell in love with each and every one of them. As we revealed our essence, shared our truths, bared our souls, the inner beauty started to shine. Instead of mere faces, I started feeling the hearts. We were all yearning for a better world. Willing to do our share toward collective healing. Refusing to normalize exploitation, genocide, and apathy.
When I started my open-ended journey around the world in 2017, Tamera was one of the first stops I made. Back then it was curiosity that brought me. This time it was grief.
As my free-flow life became overshadowed by the rage, the sadness, the sheer helplessness of watching genocide unfold in Palestine in real time, and the silence of people who should have said something, I felt the need to do something with that weight, because carrying it alone was unbearable. Not to escape it. Not to look away. But to ask, seriously, what it would take to build a world where this doesn’t keep happening. War doesn’t begin at the border. It begins in the small, daily failures to see each other as human, the same failures of empathy that let occupation, apartheid, and genocide get normalized, footnoted, debated as if they were opinions rather than atrocities. Tamera’s whole premise is that peace has to be researched and practiced like anything else worth mastering, that healing the world starts by healing the wound of separation between us.
Being at Tamera gave me hope. Just like it did nine years ago. Except this time, hope isn’t a feeling I’m waiting for. It’s a practice I’m choosing, on purpose, every day, because the alternative is letting despair win, and I refuse to give it that.
tamera #portugal #europe #peace #worldwithoutwar #palestine #genocide #separation #fearculture #loveculture #loveandabundance #travel #travellife #travelculture #community #communitybuilding #communitylife #trust #love #abundance
When we dream alone, we create a field of possibility. When we dream together, we create reality.
My transformation journey started in 1997 with the Landmark Forum*. One of the many potent discoveries that still lives in me almost 30 years later is the question “what is reality? What makes something real?” When the Forum leader asked that question, I felt it was ridiculously easy. However, no matter what we, the attendees, suggested, he would debunk it with real life examples, often mundane ones. Which lead me down the rabbit hole of: do I trust my senses? Do I trust my memory? What guarantees that my experience/memory/feeling matches another’s?…etc. it turned out to be not an easy question after all. After a while, I gave up “just fu¢king tell us” I thought, “maybe there’s no such thing as reality. Maybe it’s all an illusion”. This concept was a key part of the training so it needed to be drilled and cemented, because a lot was built on it, in the course and in “real” life.
When the Forum leader finally gave us his answer, I almost didn’t buy it. Yet as he elaborated with examples, I slowly began to see it all around me; in daily habits, religions, media and the whole culture in general. It felt like putting on 3D glasses that suddenly exposed a new dimension that, for me, didn’t exist before.
“Reality is a matter of consensus” he said, “when enough people believe the same thing, it becomes their reality”. Having lived in different countries that speak different languages and have different social, cultural and political norms, it totally made sense. I, like many, move and adapt instinctively to the environment we’re in without thinking about it too much or questioning if the cultural bubble is “real” or not. That would be exhausting and counterproductive at times. However, in this day and age, with the overwhelming abundance of information and means of creating consensus, we need to be more careful and diligent with our consumption of “reality”. Creating reality is a business that is becoming more efficient and extremely competitive every day.
It’s confusing, frustrating and demoralizing to doubt, double and triple check everything you experience. However, the good news is that we actually have more power than we realize. We are not just passive consumers of the reality we’re handed; we are also co-creators of it. Our thoughts, actions and dreams shape the world around us. And in a world where consensus can be manufactured, manipulated, or even subtly nudged in a particular direction, we have the power to influence the future.
Dare to question, challenge, and dream beyond the limitations imposed by the prevailing narrative. It’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day grind, to assume that the way things are now is the way they’ll always be. But reality is not a fixed thing. It’s fluid. It’s moldable. And the best part? It’s shaped not just by individuals, but by collective action.
Dreaming big is not naive; it’s necessary. Every shift in culture, every breakthrough, every movement started as an idea that didn’t match the current “reality.” It only became real because enough people believed in it and acted on it.
Embrace the unknown, the uncomfortable, the uncertainty that comes with the potential to create something entirely new. The future is being shaped in the decisions you make and the stories you choose to tell. And when you dream with others who share that same vision, you start to create a new reality. The future is a canvas waiting for us to paint our dreams upon. Don’t limit yourself to what you see today. Your dreams are powerful, and when you dream big, you can help create the future you’ve always imagined.
What kind of reality do you want to live in? What do you want to co-create? Let’s dream together and make it real.
Because when you dream alone, you create a field of possibility.
And when we dream together, we create reality.
- Landmark Education offers transformation courses around the world. They all start with their signature course; the Landmark Forum.
reality #manufacturingreality #whatisreal #illusion #transformation #consensus #dream #vision #choice #newculture #siwa #oasis #egypt #africa #northafrica #culturechange
What’s the relationship between dance and GIS (Geographic Information System)? How is love related to waste water management? What’s common between emotions and permaculture?
All these diverse topics may seem separate and unrelated. However, upon closer examination, it’s not hard to see that the linking factor for all these and much more, is the very thing that our lives, and the lives of all living things depend upon: WATER!
My visionary friend Zein Gaia connected the dots that no one else saw and created a 2 weeks Erasmus+* project that took place in a farm in France. 40 people from 14 countries spanning 5 continents experientially learnt about the “Way of Water”, inner and outer Waters!
Water is a finite being! All the water in the universe, past, present and future, is one being. It has many forms, all connected and morph into one another yet the total amount of water on Earth remains constant. The water cycle is a closed system. Your sweat and tears were once someone else’s drink. Someone’s pee will be your drink someday. The river/well/lake water that you pollute will end up inside your body at some point. Water carries and preserves memories. The water that you wash with quenched the thirst of your ancestors and their ancestors. Water connects us all, all living things. Water is Life!
I had the great pleasure and honor to teach, hold space and co-create “The Way of Water” with an amazing group of experts, mentors and role models. Furthermore, I was one of 3 Arab women leaders pioneering this revolutionary concept in Europe! We explored our inner waters; our bodies, feelings, emotions, connections, relationships and created community where we felt seen and heard. Without healing our inner waters, no healing is possible for the outer waters. We dropped our masks and shared vulnerably. Laughed, cried, danced, played, prayed, cooked, ate, worked and loved together. In the process, we learned and practiced working with outer waters to heal the Earth and bring life to arid land. How to regenerate, reuse and repurpose resources to minimize waste and maximize Life.
The revolutionary integration of yin and yang energies, inner and outer work, spiritual and political awareness created a profound vessel for transformation. We worked on the land as well as on our bodies and minds. The more we dove into the experience, the more clear the links and interdependence became. Water is not a disposable resource that we get to control and waste unconsciously. When water suffers, we ALL suffer. We are Water and Water is us.
Learn about where your water comes from. Where does it go after it leaves your body? How can you love, honor and treat it with reverence? How can you heal your water? Inner as well as outer? It’s a journey worth taking.
Huge gratitude for being part of the physical manifestation of the eternal wisdom of Hermeticism: “As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul”!
- Erasmus+ is the European Union’s program that supports education, training, youth, and sport.
water #watercycle #waterislife #wayofwater #thewayofwater #erasmus #erasmusproject #france #farm #land #europe #europeanunion #yinyang #innerwater #outerwater #permaculture #emotion #relationships #community #buildingcommunity #earth #earthguardians #nature #naturelover #travel #traveladventure #travelblog #travellife
Attending ECCO (Encuentro Continental de Comunidades or “Continental Gathering of Communities”), was an immersion in Latin American Ecovillage culture. It transformed me in many ways. The most profound though, relates to children!
A long time ago, I made a conscious decision that I don’t want to have kids, I never regretted that decision. My current lifestyle as a traveler, dancer, Tantra practitioner and mostly grownup activities had excluded infants and children from my path for a while now. I occasionally spend time with family children but they’re typically not more than 2 at a time. So you can imagine my culture shock when I spent 2 weeks with at least 10 kids under the age of 10 running around in the countryside of Argentina.
In my imagination, kids are tiny loose cannons; they do unexpected messy things that need a lot of time and work to rectify. In my experience at ECCO, that is all true. Kids poop, vomit, stick their dirty hands in communal food, wreak havoc and constantly make loud noises. AND, they’re also very cute, spontaneous and adorable. Not exactly like cats, but sometimes close.
Children in Ecovillages enjoy great levels of freedom, trust and love that I rarely see in cities. Infants as young as 3 or 4 years old go up to any adult nearby and ask for whatever they need at the moment. I was very grateful for that because I was able to have conversations in Spanish with kids. It signifies a fluency and comfort level with the language that I hadn’t enjoyed before. Kids run around, often naked, and play freely in Nature. Garden tools and sharp objects are typically laying around yet no one forbids them from touching this or avoiding that. They learn by example and gain the intrinsic knowledge somatically and organically without force, panic or confinement. Just like baby monkeys or any other beings learn. Very refreshing to see.
All the spaces, including workshops, meetings and circles welcome children, including their interruptive behavior at any time. They are fully integrated in the community and not segregated by age, gender or any other arbitrary label. The children, therefore, gain a lot of skills organically and joyfully. Most of all, living close to Nature; climbing trees, covered in mud, playing in the sand, jumping in puddles of water, running around naked and enjoying the tactile sensations of the natural world around them. Very different from the sterile life of the cities. In the 2 weeks, I didn’t see 1 kid with any kind of electronic device.
This brought back beautiful memories of my childhood in Egypt and how we (my relatives and I) enjoyed a similar kind of village life, even though we lived in the city suburbs. All the adults were trusted to provide for us. Adults felt safe to interact and play with children. There was plenty of love to go around. It pains me to see children today afraid of adults, adults afraid of touching children and way too much fear, separation and power over imprinted in children. No wonder our world is getting more violent with too many physical and mental health crises.
Nature is the Goddess and she has all the answers. Let’s go back to our roots; living in small communities in harmony with Nature and all living beings.
“We all come from the Goddess
And to her we shall return
Like a drop of rain
Flowing to the ocean”
(if you don’t know this song, I recommend searching for it online and listening to it)
ecco #children #nature #naturehealing #encuentrocontinentaldecomunidades #laespiral #argentina #cerocora #misiones #casalatina #globalecovillagenetwork #gen #ecovillage #southamerica #travel #travellife #traveladventure #travelblog #cycleoflife #motherearth #love #trust #selfexpression #loveculture #fear #fearculture
Casa Latina is part of the Global Ecovillage Network (GEN) yet a world apart from GEN Europe. Reflecting and magnifying the cultural differences between the 2 regions. Attending the Ecovillage Gathering in Europe the last 2 years, then in Latin America this year made for very interesting and contrasting experiences.
Time is, indeed, an artificial construct. It’s in the eyes of the beholders. In Europe, when they announce a meeting time, people start lining up 30-45 minutes in advance and the doors close 5-10 minutes prior to the starting time. In Latin America, time is much more elastic and flexible. Schedules are merely suggestions. People, with all their diverse changing moods, have priority over structures. Meetings don’t start, or even happen, because a schedule and a clock said so, they start when people are ready. Someone, often the facilitator, decides when to start depending on the weather, how many people are present…etc. Those who are waiting engage in small, or big group activities, sometimes facilitated but often organically, without any iota of frustration or complaint. When people share; questions, opinions or whatever, they use a lot of formalities, like asking for permission (even though it had already been granted), expressing gratitude then eventually, in so many words, getting to the point. Like in Egypt, and very different from the West, people can talk for a long time without saying much. Initially, I felt frustrated and bored when I heard ideas repeated or long segways. As I relaxed into the rhythm here, I started to see and feel beyond the surface. The slow pace and elaboration create a welcoming space where everyone feels fully expressed and heard. The shy and introverts, who would otherwise feel bulldozed by the extroverts, took their time and contributed. Beyond expressing new ideas, the objective is to build trust and safety for loving relationships to flourish. People are more important than concepts. As a personal side benefit, the repetition helped improve my Spanish.
Meetings and presentations often got interrupted by children needing attention; crying, screaming, asking for food or whatever. Everyone patiently waited while the facilitator or someone else tended to the child’s needs. Again, people have priority over structures.
All during the 2 weeks event, people kept coming in and out without any official welcome or goodbye rituals. At the beginning, I felt it disrupted the container; new faces every day. Then I got used to it and eventually, I enjoyed it especially when the new faces become new friends.
There’s magic in giving priority to people over structures. People, who trust, self organize organically. When the critical mass is reached, things get done effortlessly. It’s not unlike the flowering of a bud or the hatching of an egg. All that’s needed is a field of Love and trust.
Systems that lack these important foundations of love and trust, are typically ruled by fear and power over. Instead of relationships, they need to rely on structures, rules and punishment to get things done. While it may seem efficient and reliable, in reality, it’s fragile and destructive. It’s hard to describe the magic of trust in words yet it’s very palpable. When we invest in people, their well-being and needs, they take care of each other and of Mother Earth. Love, trust and the health of ALL beings multiply. When we invest in structures, we constantly need to add more rules, fix things on the back end and increase the fear and regidity at the expense of our happiness and wellbeing.
“Give a person a fish, and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to fish, and you feed them (and their communities) for a lifetime”
ecovillage #casalatina #globalecovillagenetwork #GEN #poeopleoverstructures #love #trust #selfexpression #loveculture #fear #fearculture #argentina #ECCO #encuentrocontinentaldecominidades #nature #southamerica #travel #travelblog #travellife #travelphotography #culturedifference #europe #latinamerica
During the pandemic, most of us were forced to slow down in fear and isolation. But what happens when we CHOOSE to slow down in love and community? That was the invitation at the European Ecovillage Gathering 2024!
At the beginning, I felt some resentment. It manifested as boredom. “Why are they speaking soooo slowly? Do they think we’re retarded? They are treating us like children. This is taking sooooo long! Can we PLLLEEZ cut to the chase?”. As I started to relax into the present moment, felt my body, made myself comfortable, I began to appreciate and enjoy the slow rhythm. The same voice that used to annoy me, became soothing and relaxing. Slowing down allowed me to feel, perceive and enjoy the subtle energies that get bypassed in the fast pace of life. It was like a veil being lifted. Interlinks and connections became visible.
“Rooted (indigenous) people will never hurt the land!” Aida Shibli shared in one of her profound workshops. “Land (Nature) is life. The antidote to aggression is rooted-ness”. A lightbulb lit up in my head! Of course! Un-rooted people are like dismembered organs, desperately searching for a body in order to feel whole. They instinctively realize that indigenous people have something they lack. So they steal, plunder and ransack resources left and right only to realize that their hunger is insatiable. The problem was never the lack of resources. The problem has always been their lack of roots. What is not integrated, is exaggerated. In their process of trying to feel whole, they wreak havoc and uproot other groups. And so goes the cycle of violence.
What if, instead, we (re)discover and/or (re)create our roots? What if we reestablish our connection to Nature? Our Mother? The Source? What if we grow our own roots instead of stealing resources? Roots can never be appropriated.
How do I grow my own roots? It’s as simple as learning about the ecosystem around me. The flora and fauna. What trees and plants grow here? How can I make them thrive? Where does my water come from and where does it go? What happens to it in between? Who lives in my neighborhood besides humans? How can I manifest peaceful coexistence for all beings? How can I serve LIFE?
Sadly our modern city life is completely severed from the source, from Nature. Most cities, even their green landscapes, are dead. We sacrificed Life, health, connections and abundance for the illusions of safety, control, convenience and “looking good”. Only to realize that, in reality, we became sick, colonized, dismembered slaves to a death machine.
Indigenous people who live with and off the land know how to serve Life. We all are/were indigenous. I invite us, me and you, to go back to our roots. Who are my ancestors? What was their life like? What were their daily rituals? Tap into their wisdom. I only need to look so far as my own body. It knows. It carries the memories and keeps the score. We all started as tiny little specks in our maternal grandmother’s body. I invite us to tap into our indigenous wisdom. Let’s remember who we are beyond doing and beyond constructed identities. Let’s stop pretending that our way of life is sustainable. Let’s slow down and ask “What do we do after we stop pretending? How can we serve all LIFE?”
Many people all over the world are heeding the call. Creating a world founded on collaboration, cooperation, coexistence and harmony with all living things. The Ecovillage Gathering was a conference for those shifting from the culture of fear and scarcity to that of love and abundance! Living, studying, sharing and researching how to live in harmony with Nature and each other. I had the great pleasure and honor of teaching 2 workshops at the annual European Ecovillage Gathering 2024 held in Ängsbacka community in Sweden; “4 Practices 4 Healthy Relationships” and “Egyptian Bellydance“. They were both full and were received with a lot of gratitude, appreciation and love. People were finishing my sentences and validating the concepts I was introducing. I left my beautiful soul tribe with a full heart.
Dougald Hine invited us to share the hard earned lessons and experiences: “An intentional community is like a circle of people looking inwards. It’s time to let go of the hands, turn around, hold hands again while looking outwards”.
We can’t wait any more. As Nigerian born Bayo Akomolafe said:
“The time is very urgent – we must slow down.”
roots #ecovillage #geneurope #nature #coliving #europeanecovillagegathering #aidashibli #dougaldhine #slowdown #rooted #indigenous #wisdom #fear #love #loveculture #fearculture #europe #angsbacka #sweden
My first impression was “this is depressing. I don’t want to stay here for too long”. Since it was raining outside and I paid $10 entrance fee, I figured I might as well wait for the guided tour and see what happens. Little by little, I could hear the images come alive…
Oswaldo Guayasamin is the most famous painter and sculptor from Ecuador; the Ecuadorian Picasso! After his death in 1999 (almost 80 years old), all his artwork and collections were dedicated to his country. Now they’re on display at his museum, La Capilla del Hombre, in Quito, previously his home.
Oswaldo grew up poor and started drawing when he was 6 years old. When he was 11, his best friend was shot dead in a demonstration. Ever since then, he started pouring the pain, grief, devastation as well as the hope, aspirations and passions of the human soul on canvas. As an artist, he felt and magnified the horrors of war, inequality, colonialism, slavery, ethnic cleansing and other injustices caused by humans against each other.
Seeing his powerful images, I couldn’t help but think of the ongoing genocide of Palestinians. The paintings are abstract representations of the real life suffering I see every day online. Displayed in front of me, bigger than life, I saw my own grief, rage, desperation and pain. No wonder I felt uncomfortable when I walked in. It was overwhelming. Then, I relaxed into my heart and let it all in. Feeling is healing.
Oswaldo managed to put on canvas exactly how I was feeling. It was like looking in a mirror, of a different kind. A mirror that bypasses the outer shell of flesh, bones, all the pretences and penetrates directly to the naked soul. Showing the emotions; pain, heartbreak, yearning. A mirror of the heart. I felt the weird looking figures saying: “You’re not alone. We feel your pain. We can get through this together”. I looked into the eyes, traced the outlines of the strong hands, I let the feelings wash over me. Through and beyond the pain, I saw our collective hope, aspirations and cry for universal peace and harmony.
Even though those abstract figures were painted decades ago, like any great art, Oswaldo’s work transcends time and space.
Despite the cruelty of the human drama, all the violence, pain and suffering, art always brings us back to our heart. In our heart, we remember our collective love, resilience and aspirations for humanity holding each other as one.
ecuador #Quito #southamerica #palestine #genocide #laCapilladelHombre #OswaldoGuayasamin #guayasamin #art #painting #sculpture #ecuadorpicasso #war #slavery #colonialism #genocide #palestine #mirrorofthesoul #peace #universalpeace #museum #culture #travel #travelphotography #travellife #suffering #humansoul #travelblog #traveladdict
The villains: the priest, bully and financier!Pre-Columbian erotic art displayed in Oswaldo’s bedroom Mothers mourning. They’re shaped like coffins.The chapel: La Capilla del Hombre
“What’s the most violent thing you can say to someone?” My “Nonviolent Communication” (NVC) teacher asked. Students answered with insults, swear words and other degrading comments but none of them matched what the teacher had in mind. When we finally gave up, his answer surprised us all. At the time, I didn’t fully grasp the concept. But the seed he planted kept me thinking for days and weeks afterwards. The more I pay attention, the more I realize that he’s right.
The worst violence is the subtle backhanded one where the victim is, not only not aware that they’re being controlled (and therefore abused), but they’re also fooled into believing that the perpetrator has their best interest in mind. Violence wrapped in deceit is much more damaging than direct attacks. It’s much more difficult to recover from. As Mark Twain said “It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled”.
My NVC teacher paused and said slowly: “You are special!”. I wasn’t sure what was happening. Was he talking to someone in the front row? Will he continue with a story? Nope. He stopped. Then resumed “That’s the most violent thing you can say to a person: You’re Special!” What, what?!?
He went on to explain: “That’s a power-over technique. Now that you made them ‘special’ in some way (includes: most beautiful, sexiest, one and only, best x, God’s chosen person/people, superior person/race…etc), they’ll do anything to keep that status. Since you’re the one giving it to them, you can easily control them by the explicit or perceived threat of making them ‘not special’. Sadly, this system of abuse is so common and integrated in our culture and school system that we believe it’s normal”. KABOOM!! Holy Fu¢k! The gears in my head started churning.
Given how our brains are wired, it’s totally a manipulation technique for which we all fall. How many times have we lied, cheated, suppressed, oppressed, abused ourselves and others in order to maintain some arbitrary status given to us by another? Typically disguised as “I don’t want to hurt them”, “I just want to look good”, “keeping the ‘peace'”, “fitting in”, “being nice”… Really?!?
We live in constant fear of losing our special privileges/handouts to the point that we are willing to kill for it. Imperialists use this power-over manipulation all the time. They empower a minority (politicians, religious figure heads, media influencers, the underdogs…etc) to be completely reliant on them and do their dirty work for them.
Don’t get me wrong, when your specialness is authentic, legitimately earned and rooted in self love and care, that’s healthy and unshakable. But when it’s given to you by an outside authority, that makes demands on you, you’ve been enslaved.
If you pay close attention, you’ll see the manipulation, brainwashing and abuse all around you. As close as your mirror all the way to global crises; consumerism, religions, patriarchy, wars, genocide…etc. Who’s daddy’s “special” person? This bad guy over there wants to steal your “specialness”… You get my drift?
“So when I give someone a compliment, am I manipulating them?”, I asked my NVC teacher. “It’s a compliment when it refers to an action or a specific situation. It’s abuse when it’s a blanket judgement or decree”.
“It was very kind of you to help me with my homework yesterday” vs “You’re the kindest person ever!”
“I feel a strong attraction to you and a desire for long term intimacy” vs “You’re my one and only, let’s live happily ever after”…etc.
And that’s how it ties in to Nonviolent Communication (NVC)!
nvc #nonviolentcommunication #communication #violent #manipulation #fear #fearculture #love #loveculture #control #abuse #yourespecial #war #lying #cheating #costarica #centralamerica #nature #naturephotography #travel #travelblog #travelphotography #travellife
Dancing in the rain Sacred Economics These are not bandaids. They’re seeds!
What happens when you put 15 strangers from 10 different countries together in one place for a week? Very different backgrounds, cultures and lifestyles. A few have experience in community living, the majority are brand new to the concept but want to try it. When the question “what attracted you to this gathering?” was asked, the answers were all over the map. Yet, one common thread kept coming up for all of us: “I followed my gut feeling/intuition/heart/flow. There was a strong pull and I felt a total Yes! in my body”.
We had been working on the logistics for a few months and got to meet each other online. When we physically got together, there was a sense of familiarity and celebration. We were all connected through Charles Eisenstein’s “Sanity Project”; ready to shed old paradigms of separation, fear and scarcity, seeking “the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible“
The initiators of the whole effort made it clear from day 1 that they’re not in charge and it was to be a co-creation. Moving from old habits of power over, leader/follower, victimhood, blame and looking for answers outside of ourselves to co-creation, power with, co-leadership, owning our agency and speaking our truth. Simple, yes? Nope! It wasn’t easy. We had to work against lifelong habits and cultural programming. Yet each one of us stepped up to the challenge. As we relaxed more and more into the field of trust, it was heartwarming to see people blossom into their power and authenticity. There were tears, laughter, release, contraction, play, vulnerability, movement, coming together, separation and transformation. Costa Rica’s powerful Nature; volcanoes, waterfalls, animals, birds, insects, rivers, ocean, mountains and valleys… were the most beautiful and most potent catalyst for transformation. Nature explorations were some of the most blissful moments; hiking, swimming in waterfall pools, boat trip, snorkeling, playing with the bioluminescent plankton, sunsets…etc.
Everyone shared their hearts, talents and gifts. From preparing delicious meals to objects of beauty to workshops on a multitude of diverse subjects; Bitcoin, sacred Economics, how to turn our triggers into teachers, how to make coconut milk, Costa Rica landscapes, Bhutto, Bellydance and more. All 5 languages of Love* were fully expressed, shared and multiplied.
One of the highlights of our gathering was meeting up with Charles Eisenstein and his wife Stella Osorojos Eisenstein who happened to be in Costa Rica at the time. Charles led us in a silent meditative hike and swim in the nearby river, followed by a powerful practice of stepping into our inner guru! Who knew we all have an inner guru?!? Insightful!
15 “Old Culture” strangers met in Arenal, 8 days later, 15 “New Culture” friends bid their “hasta luego”** in the Osa península in Costa Rica. Proving to themselves and others that a more beautiful world is, indeed possible and, indeed, very beautiful! That was just the beginning. The journey has just started. Worth every tear, fear and shedding what doesn’t serve Life. What a crazy wonderful journey it is!
- The 5 languages of Love are: Words of affirmation. Quality time. Gifts. Acts of service. Physical touch.
** Spanish for “till later”.
costarica #centralamerica #newculture #culturechange #charleseisenstein #sanity #sanityproject #fear #fearculture #love #loveculture #community #nature #naturehealing #travel #travelculture #travelstory #travelphotography #naturephotography #intuition #arenal #osapeninsula #shantiwasi
I enjoy slowing down. It amplifies my pleasure, enjoyment and gratitude. I often find myself reminding myself and others to do so. When I am in cities, I feel like everyone around me is moving at the speed of light and I’m barely crawling. It’s quite lonely and frustrating. When I saw the workshop “How Slow Can We Go?”, I thought to myself: “It would be great to slow down with other people!”
At the beginning, I was totally in my head; judging, bored, comparing, fidgeting and my mind was everywhere EXCEPT the present moment. First order of business: turn off my phone! That took away the biggest source of distraction. Now I have more bandwidth for people and experiences around me. As we progressed with embodiment practices, I felt like coming home, to my body; feeling, touching, loving. The more I slowed down, the more I felt at home, the more I was able to connect and ground myself in the present moment.
Observing myself and others on this journey from head to heart was quite enlightening. The longest journey that covers the shortest distance. Every day, every exercise, every interaction, we shed more barriers. Became more authentic, daring, loving, feeling, opening and blossoming.
The most insightful experience happened accidentally when I clued in to the anatomy of control.
I noticed the difference between control from the mind and control from the body. When the facilitator introduced a practice, my mind would ask questions trying to predict what’s going to happen and whether I can relax into following the instructions. Ironically, the more I tried to control the outcome, the farthest I became from reality and therefore from controlling anything. The mind may have given me the illusion of control, when it was just fear mongering. By creating hypothetical “worst case scenarios”, the mind was trapping me in fear. Those fear infused thoughts increase the chances of manifesting them into reality. Whereas when I relax into the body, trust my sensations, speak my truth and own my power, I have a much better chance of reacting favorably to the real stimuli around me; move away from pain and towards pleasure. That’s real control, not an illusion. Just like any animal would do. It’s natural, simple and intuitive.
The less I try to control (with my head), the more control I have. The mind tries to control the future. Illusion. Escape. The body knows how to react in the present moment. REAL control. Freedom. Where trust is born. Where love and pleasure are born. Controlling through the mind is an illusion. Controlling through the body is real. It does mean that I have to feel ALL my feelings; the good, the bad and the ugly. But that’s the portal to real freedom!
I used to believe in the “mind over matter” myth: Let the mind control your body to make it do amazing feats. Then I realized it’s exactly the opposite. It should be “mind out of matter”. When the mind is quiet, sedated or unconscious, the body is capable of unimaginably amazing feats, because the mind doesn’t scare the sh!t out of it or limit its freedom. People whose bodies can do superhuman things have mastered the art of quieting their minds, not activating it. As amazing as our minds are, they think way too much for our own good. Sadly our mainstream culture is heavily skewed towards being in our heads at the expense of ignoring our bodies and their innate wisdom. How can we reclaim our power from this madness gone rogue? Slow the fu¢k down!
control #natureofcontrol #slowingdown #howslowcanwego #tantra #tantrapractice #mindbody #mindovermatter #mindoutofmatter #bodywisdom #embodiment #love #fear #loveculture #fearculture #pleasure #authentic #free #freedom #feeling #intuition #saratogasprings #california #usa #nature #naturephtography #travel #travelblog #travelphotography
P.S. The last 7 photos were taken by Laura Schneider (I had my phone off the whole time)
My interview with Vivi Wilds about travel, living in the moment, going with the flow and how Tantra turned from a practice in non attachment to my way of life. We talk about love, trust, fear, freedom and more…
On Google Podcast
On Apple Podcast
On Spotify
travel #tantra #nonattachment #livinginthemoment #followyourbliss #love #loveculture #transformation #bliss #fear #fearculture #hereandnow #interview #adventureyourworld #travelblog #selfcare #selflove #trust #selftrust #freedom #surrender #bigtalkgame
The day is going smoothly. Feeling good, sometimes neutral. All is well, more or less. Then something happens! We hear or see something, maybe even smell something. Sometimes nothing specific happens but a certain thought pops into the mind for whatever reason and we spin out of control. The body feels contracted and in a blink of an eye, it’s fight or flight. As if someone hit the red danger button and we feel threatened. We’re triggered!
Triggers are typically destructive when we act upon them in the heat of the moment. More often than not, we regret how we acted and realize that our perception when triggered was not real. We were acting out of fear/anger/sadness…etc. i.e. we were unconscious.
Triggers are, also, important signals that point to something that needs attention. A shadow side that we’ve been ignoring, dismissing or unaware of. Triggers are the cry for attention.
Instead of ruining our relationships and peace of mind, triggers can help us learn, grow, become more resilient and transform our shadows into love and light.
Before acting upon my trigger (i.e. perception of danger), I practice what I call my “Best BET” to transform my Triggers to Teachers. What’s the “Best BET”?
Pretend to hold a gun. Point the forefinger . That’s the trigger judgement. Underneath every trigger there’s a judgement. When triggered, we relate to our judgement as the only reality and we fail to see that it’s merely a judgement. It’s typically “someone is bad”, “something is screwed up”, “something bad is going to happen”…etc. Instead of focusing on the forefinger (Trigger), let’s focus on the 3 fingers pointing back at us (Teachers): pinky, ring and middle fingers. They represent 3 layers to examine in order: Body (B), Emotions (E) and Thoughts (T). That’s your best BET!
Pinky: Body (B):
Am I physically comfortable? What does my body need? Do I feel pain? Do I need rest, food, water, movement, touch, sleep, sex, sun, bio break, temperature change…etc? If the body is not comfortable, everything becomes potentially triggering. On the contrary. Think how triggered you feel after a nice nap, a satisfying meal or a great orgasm? Scan your body and note your physical sensations. Any pain or discomfort? If yes, that’s the first thing to address before acting on your trigger. Even if you can’t fix the issue right away, make note that it’s your body, not the situation that triggered you, that’s causing your reaction. Ask your body what it needs and learn from it. That’s your first teacher.
Ring finger: Emotions (E):
Let’s say your body is quite good and you’re still triggered. The next level to examine is your emotions. What am I feeling?
Am I scared/upset/angry/sad/happy…etc? Whatever you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel it fully. Go deeper into it, as scary as it may feel. The only way out, is the way through. Don’t try to belittle, deny, ignore, numb, suppress, rationalize or mask any feelings. The emotions are there to heal us. If we don’t release them, they remain in the body and become toxins in our cells. Trapped emotions cause disease sooner or later.
Find a healthy way to release the emotional charge without hurting yourself or others. Sad: cry. As much as you need to. Keep imagining the sad situation and cry it out. Angry: scream (into a pillow if you need to), stomp your feet, fight with an imaginary opponent, throw a temper tantrum, move your body…etc. Afraid: contract your body, run, cry, wail…etc.
When released, emotions pass like clouds in the sky. When ignored, suppressed or numbed, they keep controlling us and cause sickness; mentally and physically.
Write down a list of ways that help you return to your centered, rational, loving self. Keep this “Back to Love” list handy and pull it out whenever you feel triggered. Pick whatever is feasible from the list and do it to help you release the charge and calm down. My centering tools include: slow breathing, dance, movement, Nature, cry, sleep, self pleasure, talk with a friend…etc. Make your own list and keep it at hand.
Most triggers disappear, or at least feel less intense and more manageable after these first 2 steps: BE! Now, you can take action and deal with the triggering situation from a conscious, loving position. This will have a much better outcome for everyone involved.
After taking care of your body, releasing emotional charges, and possibly taking some positive actions, the most growth can occur from tending to that pesky middle finger: Thoughts (T):
What are my thought(s)? What story am I telling myself about what happened?
First question: am I reacting to something in the here and now? Or am I reminded of a past experience? Or worried about something that may (or may not) happen in the future? If it’s NOT something that is true in the here and now, remember that you cannot change the past and that you have no control over the future.
We often keep reliving our past traumas unnecessarily by projecting them into our present and future. The past will keep repeating itself until we face it, heal it and leave it in the past. Before acting on a trigger, ask yourself: am I reacting to this person/situation or to my parent/ex/past relationships? This requires self reflection, honesty and inner work that is necessary to live free from past traumas. It can take years to heal.
What if I’m afraid of what may happen in the future? If you assume the worst, you are actively causing it to happen. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. No one can predict the future for sure. Anything can happen at any time. By visualizing, expecting and preparing for something, we’re actively creating it and bringing it into consciousness. Why not create something beautiful and desirable? We’re programmed since childhood to expect the worst. We’re mostly driven by fear and scarcity. That’s why our global human civilization keeps regenerating more fear and scarcity. Again, it can take years of retraining your brain to think positively, but you have the power to create love and abundance in your life by changing your thought patterns.
Those who are not afraid of death, die once. Those who are, die a million times over.
Second question: is the triggering thought mine or inherited?
Growing up in human societies, we inherit lots of beliefs, traditions, habits and social behaviors that we repeat unconsciously. If something keeps triggering you, it’s worth examining if it’s a belief/tradition that is authentically yours or inherited? Ask “Is this my authentic belief?”. It’s always good to take inventory of your driving forces and examine them every now and then to stay true to yourself and your loved ones. Change and evolution is natural, healthy and inevitable. Embrace it and live in harmony with your true nature instead of trying to fit in a mold that doesn’t fit anymore.
It’s also very important to differentiate between what happened, as if a neutral video camera is recording, and the story and meaning that I’m attaching to what happened. Ex: did my boss “raise their voice while talking” (objective) or were they “angry and agressive” (story)? Did my date “arrive at 6:30 instead of 6” (objective) or do they “not love and respect me” (story)? Our stories come from past experiences and traumas. What fear/unmet desire is underneath the trigger judgement? What lesson can this fear teach me about myself? Staying in the present moment, scanning our bodies, feeling the physical sensations and breathing slowly can extinguish most triggers. Once we’re out of the triggered state (fight or flight), we can deal with the situation at hand more consciously.
Sometimes I’m not exactly sure, so I write, meditate or move. Usually, something shifts. The most important thing is not to identify with the negative trigger judgement as “The Truth”. It is, like everything, fleeting. If we simply breathe, witness, listen and let go, it passes. And we’re left … a little older, a little wiser and a lot happier!
May your Triggers become Teachers! Happy Holidays!
trigger #teacher #dealingwithtriggers #love #abundance #lovepractice #loveculture #fear #scarcity #fearculture #transformation #triggerstoteachers #triggers2teachers #selfreflection #growth #bestBET #bodyemotionsthoughts #body #emotions #thoughts #emotionalrelease #emotionalcharge #trauma #traumarelease #fightorflight
- Photos are recent moments in Cyprus and Egypt. November – December 2022.
When musicians jam, they feed off of each other’s music and something new is born. Something that never existed before. When creatives Jam, new ideas are born. Seeds for an unpredictable future are planted. Creating the impossible starts with a dream. We have the choice to create from beautiful dreams or from horrific nightmares.We were … More Creating Peace
The first couple of days were very difficult: I didn’t know anyone, had no idea how things worked, or didn’t, had to fight my city-girl instincts every step of the way. But I hiked up the Bulgarian mountains for more than an hour with all my luggage to get there. I wasn’t going to give … More My first Rainbow Gathering!
The first couple of days were very difficult: I didn’t know anyone, had no idea how things worked, or didn’t, had to fight my city-girl instincts every step of the way. But I hiked up the Bulgarian mountains for more than an hour with all my luggage to get there. I wasn’t going to give … More My first Rainbow Gathering!
“Be the change you want to see in the world”!I want a world in which we are free to express our true authentic selves. No masks, pretences, shame or guilt. A world where we celebrate our differences as much as our sameness. Where our thoughts and actions are motivated by love and only love. In … More “Big Talk Game” App
I’m either here now, or behind my phone/camera recording the here and now. Sure, there are many moments that I want to freeze in memory and/or share with loved ones far away. But the moment I take my phone/camera out to record it, I lose that very same precious moment. I’m not here now anymore, … More To Be or To Record…
Where there are cats, there is love!Dónde hay gatos, hay amor!Cats are the epitome of unconditional love, which starts towards oneself (4 Practices 4 Unconditional Love). Cats, naturally, give from a full cup. By taking care of themselves and their needs, they provide pleasure, beauty, joy and love organically. That’s the essence of unconditional love: … More Everything I know, I learnt from my Cat!
Majestic! Gracefully gliding high in the sky without even moving their wings. Silently riding the air currents, cruising around, diving down and soaring up like a fish in the sea. They look magnificent with the large span of their wings, the effortless flow of their flight and the ease by which they soar high in … More Above it all, Below it all!
“You’re water. Water takes the shape of the container it’s in. You too, you adapt easily to circumstances around you”. I had just met Pi for the first time a mere 10 minutes before he made this observation. That was the best compliment! Water resonates with me on many levels.My karate teacher used to say … More Soy Agua!
A celebrity, an icon, bigger than life. I grew up watching him on TV. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would meet him in person, let alone have him as my mentor, inspiration and friend. The day he told me “براڤو عليكى يا هاله!” (Well done, Hala) after seeing my performances, … More Stars never die
Your fear is not my reality. I know you feel it, think it and believe it. I don’t. We share the same physical world yet our experiences and realities are different. Love, trust and freedom are my Goddesses. They are not a threat to you unless you project your fears onto them. Your fear projections … More The Fear Virus!