The Scozzie Football Podcast: Recent Episodes
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The Ryans go toe to toe as Kyogo beats the offside trap.
Calum shows us his studs and almost butchers Turnbull.
The Lions slay the Hibees spelling the end for Jack in black.
The Scozzies return…
Scotland are within striking distance of Qatar and this time John Souttar will not be the achilles heel. The Scozzies put the case for a bye. No Scotland, no party.
Ojo sees rojo and United ban the fan.
Crisis as Rangers lead the league, are still in Europe but Boyle roasts them in the cup. It’s now up to Gio to find out, “where are the people?”
As unpredictable as a Jambo away trip, the Scozzies attempt patter that matters.
Scotland face a challenge in Chisinau.
Hearts are full of passion after being rammed by Aberdeen.
Rangers make their mark against the Danes while Celtic are hungry in Hungary.
The Scozzies slaver over the prospect of Qatari hospitality….
Vale Walter Smith
Rangers lead the league as the penalties mount.
Celtic are second as the Edinburgh clubs lose their way whilst the Arabs show Eastern promise.
With tips dodgier than an Ibrox penalty award, the Scozzies are spot on…
Lyndon Dykes with the VAR bring Scotland to the brink of a play off for Qatar.
Kyogo and Tom return from Tokyo with aplomb.
Allan catches flies while Craig denies as the Arabs of Dundee enter the top three.
More rythmn than rhyme, the Scozzies make it tick.
Bayer04 live up to the null vier whilst the Prague kinder do a questionable boo.
Hibs challenge and Ryan’s challenge presents a challenge while Hearts augment the Scozzies Motherwell hoodoo.
The Saints both march on. Stephen’s glass is that bit more fragile. El Buffalo keeps the champions looking more steak than mince.
Slightly less frequent than an international against Israel and definitely more frequent than the Torshavn ferry, the Scozzies rule the waves.
Oh Schick, Celtic have got the Marshall meme meister coming to town whilst Rangers must smite the Sparta to check in to contention.
The Harkes family score home and away.
Jambos and Hibees keep up the pace with Tony Watt dancing on the ceiling.
Almost as frequent as a Scotland v Israel international, the honest, dodgy bookie, Scozzie podcast returns.
Scotland’s women do the double as the road to Australia/Aotearoa begins.
The Glasgow clubs stutter in Europe and stumble at home.
Stevie May in Pittodrie goal shock while the Arabs rule Tayside as the Saints are off to Hampden…again.
Blethering, havering but united in being scunnered by FIFA, the Scozzies return.
Scotland have their destiny in their own hands following consecutive Dykes strikes.
Van Veen plasters Aberdeen.
The Edinburgers share doughnuts.
Dundonians anticipate derbies.
Glaswegians in Europa League dreams.
The Scozzies dissect from afar.
Anthony falls into the traditional Scottish trap of expecting the worst while hoping for the best while Scotland are parked at the Parken.
We rake over the coals of the Glasgow cauldron whilst Hibs quietly lead the league by a dink.
More trading news than a Barras barra boy, the Scozzies blethir away
Hibs top a group of east coast teams leading the league just as the west coasters head east in search of European fortune. Peter Pawlett pips the Saints then trips over fairy dust landing in an early bath. Rangers Armenian odyssey is blighted by the covid. Celtic hope the Dutch don’t trouble much and the Saints hope to mince Linz.
A league cup upset puts the Dons out to pasture. St Johnstone are skewered by the Turks before you can say “kebab”. Rangers win to avoid making a drama out of a crisis. The jambos are rambod by Kyogo. Ayr United have a nice home top but the Arabs leave Somerset with dessert. Go the courses with the Scozzies.
Shanks is off like a schot missing out on a tangerine dream as United hammer the champions.
Kyogo shows us it’s so Japaneasy to get out of a crisis while Jon Dahl sparks one in the west of Glasgow.
Jambos in the CL slot while the Turks are in for a roasting in Perth. The Scozzies are cooking with gas.
Rangers return from the OK corral with a late goal. Jason gets upset then gets even. Craig smites the hoops, Johnny springs the offside trap and Hibs are fast out of the traps. Celtic are in catastrophe, crisis, death spiral. The Scozzies balance the accounts. Gratuitously.
Rangers warm up by beating Real Madrid. Really.
New season beckons and the Scozzies reckon on journeys in Europe, Pittodrie blankets and Dundonian club shops.
Shorter than a Perth lockdown, longer than a Barkas clean sheet, the Scozzies return.
The Scozzies are back from their summer (winter) holidays geared up for another big season.
We look back at the season that was and give St Johnstone their fair dues.
We do a deep dive on Celtic, giving our local insight into "Big Ange" and poke some Nir Bitton size holes in Celtic's squad management.
Most of all we are happy that fans are back in stadiums and that we are back on the airwaves too. Buon Appetito!
Square Go
Congratulations to Rangers and the people in the square. Cheerio, Accies. Killie on a shoogly peg, Dundee with fans at last. The Scottish Women’s World Cup draw for the chance to visit the Scozzies. Oh aye, a final that will make either side the second most successful team of the past decade. The Scozzies are invincible.
The Saints were determined to play the Saints again and Saint Zander is the patron saint of goalies.
Anthony has something to get off his chest. His early rise was perhaps too early but he doesn’t miss the superlatives about the super league.
Jambos lift cups (just) while Jags can just about lift a cup.
Shorter than a European Super League, longer than an oligarch’s grovelling apology, the Scozzies fill the fortnight.
Arabs from the north make the shots on target academical as United in 7th have more points than 6th.
Clyde go for the record number of league games in a month as the cup looms where Hibs need to overcome the Stair Siro whilst two of the larger Glasgow clubs are playing apparently.
The Scozzies in the time it takes for a haircut and a pint.
John McGinn’s Viennese waltz saved Scotland to then orchestrate a dapper napper in the dance against Sugar Plum Faroes.
The emergency Scottish Cup returns as top six are fixed and the bottom six are in a fix.
Aberdeen are breaking Glass, Celtic ask Howe no, Stevie thinks nobody noticed his Patterson patter.
Scozzies, no’ missed a beat...
The Scozzies congratulate themselves on their ace-tipping of Motherwell in the week that El buffalo breaks his duck and Kemar breaks the keeper.
Scotland face Austria as the cups recommence, maybe there will be a prediction of conviction. Rarer than a Qatari pub, the Scozzies seek tipping success.
Anthony has a Spartan slaver over Slavia as Allan is a saviour.
Steve picks the squad to strike early against Austria
The top six and bottom six becoming clearer, which of the Saints will throw the double six.
New transcontinental havering from the Scozzies.
The Perth Saints give all us diddy teams some hope.
Alfredo for once is the saint but Derek has doffed his don.
Rangers are the champions, and some of them will remember the last time. Slavish attention to Slavia to come.
Antonio weeps into the smorgasbord of missed opportunities but the middle eight won’t miss a beat.
We are the blethirin people.
The Saints march to Hampden in Gaelic song just as Livi change their tune.
Rangers produce the diamonds in Antwerp but Neil’s Highland fling leads to the heave-ho.
Aberdeen in goal scoring win shock but Jack in black has Hibs cruising.
With tips worse than a Celtic season, the Scozzies are back.
Alfredo hits Antwerp and reflects on rough diamonds.
Hamilton live up to their musical moniker by being excellent.
Shanks instrumental in United’s Liviskelping while Saints are marching on all fronts.
Form guides with the worst guided form, the Scozzies help bust your coupon.
Renaissance Saints
The Perth Saints come back from two down for the first time since ‘72 and then score two to end the Livi run too.
The Paisley Saints are on a top six run but next up it’s Celtic minus Olivier. Andre was so excited that he was hit for six by Marseille.
Sam is the £2million man, Stevie is the man but Kemar should have seen red, man.
Thirty minutes of Antipodean patter to thaw your frozen livestream, the Scozzies return.
Alfredo has more stamps than a postmaster but just not so many cards.
The Buddies terrorise the terrors with a plethora of penalties.
David has a cup final to go with his 10-in-a-row.
Jeremie now needs to learn the German for, “Oh My Days!”
A pint on the line for the Scozzie predictors in the latest half hour haver.
The Dons do their dinger in Dingwall as the Staggies suddenly skewer.
Cedric keeps the scoreboard ticking over as Motherwell cosy up to Accies at the bottom.
Celtic keep us entertained off the park as Scottie and Neil keep the Trump tradition alive.
Like well seasoned haggis, this is yer puddin.
Just in time for transfer windows, Alfredo scores twice and Lawrence does a David.
Ryan feels hard done to as Curtis gets a yellow but Allan lets us know in blue that it was closer to orange.
Chris hits a post but his stookie hasn’t made him a sookie so he travelled to Dubaiworld in the bubble that is Celticworld.
Chippier than a Livi form guide, the Scozzies mash it up.
Allan has smelly gloves to keep out the cold, Nir has a go at rugby, Shane sees orange while Alfredo gets booked and hooked.
Oh aye, so Dubai...Anthony helps us understand why.
The plastics fantastics perform a points repair while Dingwall has a Yogi bounce. Stephen has had enough of Motherwell but Tommy might like it if he’s allowed past Larne.
The post-Brexit, survivor-guilt Scozzies share the New Year customs in enough time to escape a bushfire.
A year of asterisks and no little gall, we look back at the 2020 vision we will most remember.
We salute Jim McLean and the times when Dundee United sent shockwaves round Europe, a phenomenon now limited to their central defence.
After the mince pies, we preview the New Year steak pies with the A77,A80,A9 & A725 derbies...and an old firm derby with the road so friendly it could only be your M8.
A year end special for the year that went viral, you can get your messages done during this one.
Odsonne’s Panenka sparks a drama but Ajer’s smash averts a crisis as 4-3 wins a fourth treble.
St Mirren mug Rangers as might happen to anyone in Paisley on a dark December night wearing a retro football top.
Kettlewell shows his mettle well but Ross County just can’t find fettle well and the taxi is called before Stuart can settle well.
Moments shorter than an open interstate border, all this and more in the Christmas edition. Help ma’ boab!
Rangers Polish off their Europa group win while Celtic boost the UEFA coefficient.
Hibs make the most of Sainsbury’s car park as Paul takes his turn for the brothers McGinn.
Alfredo punches above his height as Stevie sees no elbow but the SPFL make a fist of it.
League Cup action builds as the Scottish Cup final arrives to confound all of us stumped by the Nations Cup or whatever.
A perfect timer to boil yer tatties, we’ll keep you in a loop.
Israel? Again? You’re going to have to pay the forfeit.
Will Ukrainians scupper Rangers on their way to Champions League group stages? Will Neil beat Lille?
Hamilton reach mid-table obscurity and Motherwell hit the top six in a victory for short stretches of connecting Lanarkshire motorway.
Celtic struggling to do 10 but St Johnstone do 11 while Kemar’s “A” is finally explained.
Anthony speaks Turkish. Richard’s daughter does the predictions.
Easier than a night in Chisinau (just), the definitive 30 minute haver.
Oh, Diego. We’ll miss you because you did stuff that no-one ever could and it all started at Hampden in 1979.
Aloha, Alloa who beat Hearts for the first time ever. St Mirren are back. Hibs are in. Jermaine gets to Falkiriki via Stirling Services and Ross County do the Highland to put Celtic in another place at last.
As predictable as a Lanarkshire covid lockdown, the League Cup delivers.
Scotland’s women miss out in two six pointers. They are the future. Ask Megan Rapinoe.
Our (don’t bet the home loan) predictions hold for the coming weekend.
A third of a game on a third of the game, we blethir on.
The Scozzies reflect on normal service resumed in Oz just as the Scottish national team resume normal service in Israel.
Dundee United play Hamilton, the game where everyone wanted to get booked.
Are Rangers disappearing over the league horizon? Will Hibs ever do anything other than draw 2-2 with anyone ever again.
The usual dodgy predictions to help bust your coupon. All in thirty minutes that you will be grateful for on your trivia night
Ya dancers Boogie on down to another major championship but...do we really want to beat England?
Arbroath fans enjoy the double whammy and we speculate on the ins and outs of the Angus bedroom.
Is Oli McBurnie the striking incarnation of Boris’s COVID response...just a wee bit too lackadaisical?
Is this the end of Jack Ross’s polos now that Joachim’s Deutschland are posting doughnuts?
You know you need to know this. All in a half hour slice of Scotch pie.
What does Ryan Hedges have under his hairband?
Who knew Alfredo Morelos could pass the ball?
Jet 9 is the best shirt in Scottish football but, whisper it, Scotland are only 90 minutes away from a major finals.
4-4-2, 5-4-1, 4-3-3 or just a 1-0 win.
Anything can and might happen apart from Antonio playing.
Wash your dishes, do your pilates, fall asleep. This is the podcast you need.