Undress my Soul Podcast: Recent Episodes
helene Clb
The n1 podcast to go from đŽ to đ
The host, Helene Clabecq, goes on an intimate journey of discovery by questioning public figures who appear to be unapologetically themselves.
More often than not, their response is completely unrelated to societyâs common definition.
Tune in now to de-condition and de-program yourself from everything holding you back from being your TRUE SELF.
Pour ce premier épisode de la saison 2 de "Undress my Soul", j'attaque en français et avec un sujet tabou pour la plupart des gens: La photographie de nu.
Quelques thÚmes que nous avons abordés avec la photographe de renom Sylvie Castioni:
- DĂ©voiler sa confiance en soi Ă travers l'objectif
- En quĂȘte de libertĂ©, le chemin vers une sociĂ©tĂ© plus ouverte
- Le dilemme de l'authenticité pour les célébrités
- La quĂȘte de la rĂ©ussite, une illusion qui ne rend pas heureux
- La réalité derriÚre l'image de soi des femmes médiatisées
- Comment les personnalités publiques influencent la liberté d'expression et d'identité des jeunes femmes
- Révélez votre puissance féminine et libérez-vous des normes sociales
- La véritable importance de la reconnaissance sociale
Ce podcast est gratuit,
Contribuez pour le faire Ă©voluer: https://bit.ly/GiftsforHelene
Sponsorisez mon Ă©quipement: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/T688LRG22O7T?ref_=wl_share&utm_source=hoobe&utm_medium=social
Et n'hésitez pas à commenter pour que je puisse faire un Q&A sur le thÚme de la photographie de nu, en vous partageant ma propre expérience!
Mots clé: actrice, chanteuse, célébrité, personnalité publique, nu, nudité, rapport, corps, femme, féminin, amour de soi, liberté, libération, photo, photographie, intimité, danse, image, regard, objet, objectification, sexualisation, danse, transe, shamanique, shamanisme, créativité, mission, artiste, interview, sylvie castioni, muse
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Hi guys, I am Helene Clabecq and I cover the journey of people who challenge the status quo. today I am sharing an exclusive interview of the Russian tattoo artist Konstantin Noskos that I shot a few years ago. I flew to London to discover who is the mysterious man behind the needle and discuss the meaning of tattoo as a symbol of death and transformation.
Do you Love Life? Ft the Renegade Pharmacist
Hi guys, today I am interviewing the Renegade pharmacist, aka Niraj Naik, an ex-pharmacist whoâs now using breath work and music frequencies as medicine.
Stay tuned as we will touch on the following topics:
Why talking too much is not good for your health
Spiritual raves
How to go from hating to loving your life
How a combination of breathwork and rhythm can release trauma
How the word conspiracy became negative
Helping people getting back to being humans
The Merch is out !! Preorder on www.undressmysoul.fr
Meet David Rees, the Founder of Planet Kambo, to discuss why you should or should not do Kambo, the mindset behind it, the healing properties and the warrior spirit it takes to become a kambo initiate.
Use the code "helene" for 20% off KAMBO, HAPĂ (with yummy flavors like raspberry, menthol or chocolate-orange) & ceremonial accessories: https://planet-kambo.myshopify.com?ref:helene
My other video about Kambo about my personal experience: "USING KAMBO TO FORGET ABOUT MY EXES" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T1MDKXuBZ0&t=527s
Get the merch! http://undressmysoul.fr
Hi loves, today I am interviewing a magician and hypnotist from China, Anson Chen. After understanding that we as humans can experience the same thing and still build completely different stories around it, he started experimenting with magic, to create glitches in people's brains that can shift their reality, for a few seconds or a lifetime, wether for entertaining or healing purposes, rewiring the unconscious to create change in habits, phobias or limiting beliefs. We discuss the power of illusion and deception, why smoking is breath-work, the 6th sense, mind control and how we can use magic to regain sovereignty. & Stay until the end to witness me get hypnotized live! ______ TASTE THE MAGIC! Drink wild harvested reishi and chug mushroom elixir to enhance mental clarity, skin beauty, supercharge your immune system & decalcify your pineal gland, the source of your creative intuition. I have partnered with Black Magic Alchemy to give you 15% off your orders by clicking here: https://blackmagicalchemy.com?sca_ref... The clothes I am wearing: https://undressmysoul.fr/merch Get interviewed by me: https://undressmysoul.fr Donate to contribute for more content: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=_s... Are you a "mystery" or "explanation" type of person? Comment below!
Hi Disrupters,
today, I'm interviewing Leah Simmons.
She created the Elevate method that combines the 4 pillars of health: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.
In this interview, she explains what pushed her to transition from her life as a DJ to the health and wellness world.
She also shares why she recently shaved her hair as a reminded to herself and others that our identity goes far beyond the physical self.
THE PODCAST VERSION:
Whatâs up guys!
I met Vishen Lakhiani about a month ago at his event, Mindvalley University, and today I'm interviewing him about awakenings, disruptions, his journey and the reason why why he wants to take humanity to a new level of unity and consciousness.
Vishen is the founder of Mindvalley, author of the Code of the Extraordinary Mind, acclaimed speaker and overall superhuman, dedicated to upgrading humanity transcend into their higher selves, through transformational education that includes spirituality.
Find your way through the episode:
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01.00': What's real, what's true, what's perception
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04.00': How we are being manipulated by false constructs & bullshit rules
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11.30': Conscious entrepreneurs are the future
PODCAST VERSION:
A Simple and Powerful Daily Routine that will Change your Life Original video: https://youtu.be/IDobE8WSVac
Vishen Lakhiani: This would be the prescription that I would give you, right, if I was a doctor for your soul.
Helene Clabecq: Hi guys, I am Helene Clabecq, I cover the journey of people who challenge the status quo. Today I'm visiting Vishen in Estonia. He's the founder of Mindvalley, author of the Code of the Extraordinary Mind, acclaimed speaker and overall superhuman dedicated to upgrading humanity through transformational education that includes spirituality. I'm taking you to a customized course on lofty questions. It's a simple equation that Vishen spent 15 years researching that will help us overcome self-sabotage, embrace abundance and bend reality.
Helene Clabecq: Okay Vishen, so you are the expert at helping humans transcend into their higher selves, would you have a technique that you would be willing to teach me in order to train myself to becoming more performant or more mindful?
Vishen: Well first, we were talking about that earlier, you told me about a situation you're in about self-doubt that's sabotaging you, so let's go deeper into that. Explain to me and to the people who are watching what you're feeling right now.
Helene: Right okay, so basically I have been through several steps of awakening as they're
described in your book as well and after realizing the human potential in a way, I started doubting myself. I've been facing a contrast, like beautiful things happening and not being willing to embrace them.
Vishen: I just want you to know that's really normal. I'm facing that right now as well in my career, my business has doubled in the last six months and it's hit this ceiling where I'm starting to go: âis this true? Can I really deal with this?â and beginning to see that those thoughts are actually slowing down my growth and causing unnecessary stress so I'm coming from the same situation within our respective zones.
So to overcome that, what you got to understand is that there are so many different mindsets that people talk about that put us in a state where it seems as if the Universe has our back and everything in life is flowing effortlessly, but if you read all the advice out there, there are different people to say these are different things.
Some people talk about the law of attraction, some people talk about hard work, some people talk about being in a state of flow, some people talk about bliss, some people talk about looking at the positive.
Helene: That's right.
Vishen: so what I want to do is I want to put this all in an equation, so over the last 15 years of my life, I've personally gone out and interviewed hundreds of people including billionaires all the way down to spiritual healers who are able to do things that science can't explain.
Okay, so first the word I use is âliving in a state of bending realityâ. Bending reality is this ability which I believe we all have to make the world shift to a degree where it feels as if a lot as magical.
It feels as if we are lucky, it feels as if synchronicities, coincidences, the right people are coming to our life at the right time, but there is an equation which I think best reflects this.
The equation is this: the first is self identity.
Self identity is the most important thing, this is the problem that you are facing. Your life has grown, but your self identity hasnât grown. My life has grown, my self identity hasn't grown. So we are hitting this roadblock. You see, Michael Beckwith, he's one of the people I interviewed, he said: The Universe doesn't give you what you focus on, it gives you what you are. He says it's not about the law of attraction, it's about the law of resonance. The world will resonate with you, so you become first, and then the world adjusts as to who you are, so you can focus like crazy on that new job or that new opportunity but if you are not becoming the person who is worthy of that new job, or that new opportunity or if you doubt that you are that person, you hit the brakes, so self-identity is the first thing.
Helene: In order to attract that, we need to vibrate at a higher level.
Vishen: Exactly now the next thing over here is smart work. A lot of people say âwork hardâ, I don't believe in that, work hard, and everyone I interviewed, work hard was the stupidest advice, no one actually works hard, they work smart.
Helene: Except for Gary V.
Vishen: Gary Vaynerchuk is simplifying it for the audience he's speaking to. If you're a young teenager and you want to start your first company and it's a decision between working hard or continuing to play on your Xbox, then you want to get your ass moving, right?
But it's about smart work, smart work is assembling a team, looking at culture, productivity hacks, but again a lot of people are obsessed with this, it's only a tiny bit.
Now with smart work, times what I call bliss, okay so bliss means elevated states of happiness, times clarity, so clarity is how clear are you on what you want, times mission, intuition.
Intuition is your ability to listen within. You were telling me that you started meditating and you get these intuitive feelings, so these five are divided by negative emotion on a scale of one to ten squared.
The negative emotion wipes everything out.
This is a very powerful pulldown factor. Okay, now look at this: one two three four five six things right at the top, the biggest one is self identity, and the biggest one that sucks you down is negative emotion. Now think about what you're experiencing. Your self identity has not matched to what it is that you're pulling in, and when it doesn't match you get fear, you get anxiety, so you pull yourself down because all of those negative emotions multiply, so what you want to focus on is this. Yes, you want to focus on smart work, you want to focus on elevated emotions, you want to know what your mission is on the planet, how you're gonna serve and you want to listen to your intuition. You're doing all of this.
Helene: Yes, everything is crystal clear.
Vishen: It is the gap that is causing this to emerge. Do you want to learn the technique to overcome it?
Helene: Hell yes, please.
Vishen: Firstly, my skill is as an integrator so I don't profess to be the genius who knows everything, but I seek out the geniuses who know everything and this is why on MindValley we have hundreds of speakers and we have so many of the world's great teachers and authors and I try to bring in their best ideas.
There's one particular teacher that I think has the best idea for self identity work and that particular idea is called lofty questions. The teacher's name is Christie Marie Sheldon and I want to give credit where credit is due.
Let me explain lofty questions. Firstly, have you heard of affirmations?
Helene: yes
Vishen: Okay, so affirmations are when you look in the mirror and you say: I am brilliant, I am beautiful, I am intelligentâ, but there's a problem with affirmations.
If your self identity is not ready, your self identity will doubt the affirmation. So you can say âI have an amazing bodyâ, but in the back of your mind, there's a voice saying âno you don't, you ate a giant pizza yesterdayâ, so the doubts creep in.
There's a way to trick the mind. You use a technique called lofty questions. You don't make a declaration, you ask a question. The question is: âwhy do I have an amazing body, why am I so clear on my mission, why is life so easy for me, why are so many people attracted to me, why do I have such an amazing time with my teammates, why is my work so effortless and easy, why do I love writing so much or why does my writing flow so effortlesslyââŠ
You ask the why question.
When you asked a why question, what happens is that your brain doesn't come back with a negative your book but rather your brain now has to come up with a solution so the negativity goes down, the doubt, the barrier goes down but what you start finding is that your brain is brilliant at solving problems and when you ask a wild question your brain will attempt to address it and you will find that your identity starts to ship and the right solutions come into play.
You want to take whatever it is that is your vision for your life and flip it into a question.
Let's create lofty questions for you right now. I have 27 lofty questions I create for myself. I am committed to memorizing 27. Of course it is a lot, but it happened over the last three years and I ask myself these questions everyday. The questions include questions such as: why do I have such a great relationship with my children, why do I love the people I work with, why do I have two New York Times bestsellers (it's not happening yet, I have one)?
I ask those questions because the question shifts my identity to see myself as a better father, see myself as a better writer, and see myself as a better teammate. These questions really work and the questions don't have to be big goals. One of my lofty questions is really simple: why am I always surrounded by love? Another one is: why am I always growing and learning?
Helene: And it puts you in this emotional state of being there.
Vishen: Exactly, because it changes your beliefs, you are reprogramming your belief system. How do you create a lofty question? You must know what goals you want, like one of my goals is actually to just experience love on a consistent basis, to love and be loved so my lofty question is not: why am I driving a red Ferrari; I don't give a damn about that, itâs why am I surrounded by love, and so I feel great love for the people I work with, for my family, for my children and from my friends, and that to me is one of my biggest sources of happiness.
So love is one of my first lofty questions and this one creates a ripple effect, in fact what are some of yours? Give me five goals that you have for yourself, five things you would like to see in your life.
Helene: Okay, why do I get to travel constantly?
Vishen: Okay that's good, why do I get to travel, so you already turned it into a lofty question that's perfect, why do I get to travel constantly but there's a problem there, you can travel constantly and be fed up with airlines and stuffy airplanes and jet lag, or you can travel constantly in a joyful state, which one is it?
Helene: the second one.
Vishen: Okay, so let's modify that: why do I get to see the world while having beautiful experiences. Does that make sense? You want to be complete. Okay so now you've made it complete. Now, let's go on to a second one.
Helene: Why am I the go-to journalist for game changers?
Vishen: why am I the go-to journalist for game changes, okay that's a good one. That's a beautiful one, it's very specific, I like that, so you've brought in clarity and the good thing about them also is that it ties to your mission a bit, that's great . What will happen now is your brain will start seeking out ways to make you to the go to journalist, you might stumble upon a book on how to be a great interviewer, you might stumble upon this incredible interview that you have been dying to bring this guest in, so that's a great one, let's go on to a third one.
Helene: Why am I so confident in myself, in my feminine power?
Vishen: Okay so rather than confident in my feminine power, why don't you simply change that to why am I so comfortable in my feminine power?
Why I say comfortable is because comfortable includes everything: confidence, bliss, everything. Here's a tip to create a lofty question: think about a goal you want in life, if you had a genie, imagine what would be something you would ask the genie for?
Helene: Maybe move back to the States.
Vishen: Okay, why am I living⊠Don't say why am I living in the U.S, because there's always a part of us that is the conscious mind desiring something but we have a soul that may desire something else. What if you think you want to live in the States but your future husband is in Berlin, so what you rather want to say is why am I living in the perfect city for me, does that make sense? Letâs move on to another one.
Helene: I love the one you mentioned about love, why am I surrounded by love?
Vishen: Yes, so you don't say surrounded by love, you want to make it more powerful, you say why am I always surrounded by love, your lofty questions should be complete, they should be holistic, they should involve emotion and they should also leave some room for the universe to fill in the gaps for things you are unsure of, so in addition to this equation, there is a particular state of mind where the equation works best and it's called alpha.
Alpha is the brainwave frequency, 7 to 14 cycles per second and it works best when you have high alpha amplitude and brain coherence. This is what happens when you meditate but this part over here, amplitude and brain coherence, this happens best when you reduce negative emotions, you reduce negative emotions by starting your meditation with compassion practices, that means seeing yourself expanding love to the world.
You start with gratitude so what are you grateful for. Think about anywhere from 3 to 9 things, you spend some time on forgiveness, forgive yourself for any mistakes you made it the past that you regret, forgive other people who have hurt you; it could be an ex-boyfriend, it could be a parent, it could be a former person you worked with, but forgive forgive forgive. You should have no anger towards anyone okay, because all of that brings you down.
The first three phases are to remove all the negativity, then you go to lofty questions.
Helene: What's insane about this technique is that it really shows that all the power comes from inside, we can rewire our brains into transforming the reality that's around us.
Vishen: Exactly, so this would be the prescription that I would give you if I was a doctor for your soul.
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Today I'm interviewing Bryant Wood, Filmmaker, Co-Founder of Modern Nirvana conference & breath work instructor for Pranashama retreats.
But mostly, a pure essence of love and light. We're talking about his awakening.
By "awakening", I mean this moment you start asking yourself: "What else is out there? Who am I? Whatâs my purpose?" We discuss the existential crisis that triggered it, the process of shedding layers, Bryan's holistic practices.
We're also chatting about synchronicities and flow and sharing how it feels to live from a place of deep love, deep connection, presence in the moment and oneness.
« Yesterdayâs failures are tomorrowâs successes ».
I met Michel Ortiz in Paris as we were both speaking at a conference about personal development. Heâs the representative of saber lasers in France: « in Star Wars, there is a duality between light and dark. The movie is about a personal quest to balance both. We all want to be heroes.
The Star Wars community has this capacity to put all their energy into their passion. That is the type of people who run the world: people who are considered « disconnected » from the real world who all of a sudden create something that revolutionized the world.
Nowadays, we lack dreamers. We donât know how to dream, have fun anymore. Except that as adults, our inner child is still inside of us. Taking ourselves too seriously is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Some people have fun traveling the world, others driving cars, we play with light sabers.
Why would this be less serious? I want to get people to light up again to their passion ».
Full interview on my YouTube channel!
Whatâs up guys,
Today Iâm interviewing Tania PanĂ©s. We met at Las Dalias in Ibiza, and this bubbly women caught my attention as she was typewriting poems for strangers. Pretty unusual!
She isnât satisfied with an ordinary life either and weâve discussed the power of connection with strangers, facing fears, the way art can allow us to liberate our emotions, why vulnerability is a gift, why working on the streets has been her biggest teacher.
Some quotes that touched me during the interview:
âThe first type I did it, I felt something meaningful I hadnât felt in a long timeâ
âWhen I decided to travel with my typewriter, I felt like a shark liberated from an aquariumâ
âPeople donât know me, so they feel allowed to tell me whateverâ
âWeâre taught to not cry and repress our emotions, so I try to hold space for peopleâ
âThere is a fusion happening in the creation of the poem, the strangers and I become oneâ
âMy typewriter is a 100 years old , its like a time machineâ
âIâm asked to write about love all the time. I want people to ask me to write about belly buttons, dinausors or nuclear medicineâ
âWorking on the streets is the biggest teacherâ
âPeople ask hi how are you, good and you? I donât want that in my life. If I ask how you are I want to know, it might take 5 minutes to respond.â
âA lot of teenagers come to me and ask about being yourself, anorexia, self-perception.â
âVulnerability is a giftâ
âI am not interested in normalityâ
âLife means living fears behind and opening yourself to peopleâ.
Former tax officer in Italy, Luciano mancini decided to shake up his life after taking one month off in nature with no connection to the outside world.
He founded love me ibiza, to dedicate himself to his passion of throwing big parties and spread love.
We are going to talk about his tips to tame our brain, his secrets to happiness and the âlove islandâ, his real-life interpretation of the community in the movie the Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio.
I met Marlen Annabel Kubri, Life Coach and Consciousness Teacher, at a tantra workshop during Mindvalley University, in Pula, Croatia.
While I was giggling with my partner, slightly uncomfortable, applying light strokes onto each otherâs (dressed) bodies, feeding each other dry apricots and blowing on each otherâs necks, Marlen, her, was literally screaming and shaking of pleasure.
Well, who wouldnât want to feel that much? I had to ask her for her secret.
Luckily, she accepted to reveal her path towards intense sensitivity and to share her best tips with us:
Between ego death, tantra, three-way conscious relationships and body consciousness; she explains the lessons she applied in this episode, to turn a time of her life where she was stuck into the ability to manifest anything she envisions.
Whatâs up guys!
I met Vishen Lakhiani about a month ago at his event, Mindvalley University, and today I'm interviewing him about awakenings, disruptions, his journey and the reason why why he wants to take humanity to a new level of unity and consciousness.
Vishen is the founder of Mindvalley, author of the Code of the Extraordinary Mind, acclaimed speaker and overall superhuman, dedicated to upgrading humanity transcend into their higher selves, through transformational education that includes spirituality.
Find your way through the episode:
#PT 1:- 01.15': How intuition took Vishen from broke to successful
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08.00': Data about intuition
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12.45: Great minds have been thinking about intuition all along
BONUS:In this bonus video, Vishen Lakhiani is teaching me an equation he spent 15 years researching to overcome self-sabotage, embrace abundance and bend reality.
We're talking about the ONE THING you need to master, to overcome the fear and doubts that prevent you from manifesting your dreams.
Find your way through the episode:
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2:45' - Introduction to the Bending Reality equation
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7:00' - The technique to get rid of negativity and doubt: ask yourself "why...X" and your identity will begin to shift.
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14:30' - How to be in the right state of mind to bend reality.
PODCAST VERSION:
Today I'm interviewing the Technology Entrepreneur Bibop Gresta in his Los Angeles office, inside a Hyperloop pod.
He's telling me about his journey from entertainment at MTV Italy to becoming the Chairman of what is about to revolutionize the transportation industry: Hyperloop Transportation System, bullet trains that travel faster than airplanes and energy-efficient.
I dig deeper into his entrepreneurial journey, from genius programmer child to dropping a Top 10 record and becoming a go-to technology investor, his awakening and his vision of success, fame and happiness.
Today I'm interviewing the German EDM DJ Jan Blomqvist as he's finishing his worldwide tour "Disconnected" and performed at some of the biggest club scenes and festivals out there. I digged deeper into his musical journey, from struggling artists to superstar, his awakening and his vision of success, fame and happiness.
Mickaël Vendetta - Comment sa vision du succÚs a changé suite à son parcours médiatique
(version française plus bas)
I had the opportunity to meet Mickaël Vendetta in Paris a few weeks ago.
His path intrigued me. He had a life out of the ordinary, or should I rather say "created" a life out of the ordinary for himself.
Like most of my interviewees, he comes from a community with few opportunities, but decided to go against the tide and listen to his heart and intuition to do what he wanted.
Though, this time, while the secret usually lies in carelessness towards the opinion of others, Mickaël played with it to his advantage.
Only an unbeatable confidence and an unruly personality can be the secret of such an ability to reach oneâs dreams, no matter what cards one has been given.
That's how he managed to achieve his goals of becoming an actor, releasing a record, a line of clothes, becoming a DJ, and much more ...
When he was a teenager, he lived in Grosley, a small French village near Paris. Social networks were starting to become a thing and he decided he was going to try something out of the ordinary to get noticed.
"I quickly understood what people admired. So I would take the train to Paris and have my picture taken in front of the most beautiful villas and cabriolets. I would pose in front of them, as if all this belonged to me.
One day, I put on red swim shorts and ran shirtless on the Champs Elysées, like in Baywatch. A limousine was waiting for me with a false bodyguard. People came spontaneously to ask me for autographs.
I answered them: are you sure? I have a hundred euros on my account! "
It made the buzz.
âI was thinking: what can I do that's even more crazy? How can I take it to the next level? All of it was ironic.
And yet, the more he dared, the more it worked, and heâd laugh.
"To go public, I created my own character from scratch, who conveyed a positive message: the âbogossitudeâ ("good looking guy-ness").
Dress up, work out, eat clean, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke.
I sometimes played a self'-important character, however only with people who carried negative energies. If I felt that a Journalist was approaching me to essentially ruin my reputation, or that a reality TV candidate was trying to create drama, Iâd put them in their place.
I was a Trojan horse. I took the media world by storm (NB reality TV) with this facade. Thanks to that, I won the TV show and walked away with a 100,000 euros check. "
I question him about his perception of appearances and the masks that people wear in society, his kind of sincerity being generally taboo.
"We are in superficiality everyday. Everything we see is fake!
It is necessary to reconnect to the truth, aka to the spiritual world.
I read many works of Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov, who taught me a lot about this.
Because, above all, Michael has revealed himself. He chose not to remain in conformism and seeked to rise and convey a message.
"I have always been spiritual, and always been able to manifest what I wanted.
However, as I evolve, my conception of success has become completely different. I constantly read to raise my consciousness. Now, if I see a big car or a luxury watch, I find that has-been, show-off!
I respect more someone who will use an ecological means of transportation, makes environmentally friendly choices, for instance. Someone who will do things with love.
I, myself, do things for others.
Being positive only attracts the positive; you must first be happy with yourself to be happy in a couple, for example. And I think that when we're unhappy, it's because we've done something negative at some point, and that comes back to our face.
Feeling useful and giving one's energy to others is, to me, one of the keys to happiness. A food for the soul and conscience.
We can give in many ways: emotionally, financially, psychologically, spiritually ...
What guides me in life is my intuition: I can feel peopleâs auras.
Therefore, I created a concept on this basis. I organize networking events, the âSanta Mariaâ club, with all the people I love and who have good energy. We are now close to 3000.
Friendships were born, professional partners, couples, because people were on the same wavelength, the same vibratory frequency.
That's why my mantra is to "do things with love".
______________________________________________
Jâai eu lâoccasion de rencontrer MickaĂ«l Vendetta sur Paris il y a quelques semaines.
Son parcours mâintriguait. Il a eu une vie hors du commun, ou devrais-je plutĂŽt dire âsâest forgĂ©â une vie hors du commun.
Comme la plupart de mes interviewĂ©s, il vient dâune commune avec peu dâopportunitĂ©s, mais a dĂ©cidĂ© dâaller Ă contre-courant et Ă©couter son coeur et son intuition pour faire ce dont il avait envie.
Mais cette fois, alors que le secret rĂ©side habituellement dans lâinsouciance face au regard des autres, MickaĂ«l, lui, a jouĂ© de ce regard pour obtenir ce quâil voulait.
Seuls un bagou inimitable et une personnalitĂ© indocile et dĂ©terminĂ©e peuvent ĂȘtre le secret dâune telle capacitĂ© Ă atteindre ses rĂȘves, peu importe les cartes que lâon nous a distribuĂ©es.
Câest ainsi quâil a rĂ©ussi Ă atteindre ses objectifs de devenir acteur, sortir un disque, une ligne de vĂȘtements, devenir DJ, et bien plusâŠ
Quand il Ă©tait adolescent, il vivait Ă Grosley, Val dâOise. Les rĂ©seaux sociaux commençaient Ă prendre de lâampleur et il sâest dit quâil allait tenter quelque chose dâhors du commun pour se faire remarquer.
âJâai vite compris ce que les gens admiraient. Alors je montais sur Paris et me faisais prendre en photo devant les plus belles villas et cabriolets. Je posais devant comme si tout cela mâappartenait.
Un jour, jâai mis un short de bain rouge et couru torse nu sur les champs ElysĂ©es, comme dans Alerte Ă Malibu. Une limousine mâattendait avec un faux garde du corps. Les gens venaient spontanĂ©ment me demander des autographes.
Je leur rĂ©pondais: vous ĂȘtes sĂ»rs? Jâai cent euros sur mon compte!â.
Ăa a fait le buzz.
âJe me disais: quâest ce que je peux faire dâencore plus fou pour me faire remarquer? Comment aller plus loin? Tout Ă©tait du second degrĂ©â.
Et pourtant, plus il osait, plus ça marchait, et il en riait.
âPour sortir de lâanonymat, je me suis crĂ©Ă© un personnage de toute piĂšce, qui nĂ©anmoins faisait passer un message positif: la bogossitude. Ătre bien habillĂ©, propre sur soi, faire du sport, ne pas boire dâalcool, ne pas fumer.
Je jouais parfois un personnage hautain, cependant uniquement avec les personnes que je ressentais mauvaises, qui portaient en elles des ondes nĂ©gatives. Si je trouvais quâun Journaliste venait me poser des questions essentiellement pour ruiner ma rĂ©putation, ou quâun candidat chercher Ă mâenfoncer, je les remettais Ă leur place.
JâĂ©tais un cheval de Troie. Je suis rentrĂ© dans le milieu mĂ©diatique (NB tĂ©lĂ©-rĂ©alitĂ©) avec cette façade. GrĂące Ă cela, jâai gagnĂ© le jeu et suis reparti avec un chĂšque de 100 000 euros.â
Je le questionne sur sa perception des apparences et les masques que lâon porte en sociĂ©tĂ©, cette sincĂ©ritĂ© Ă©tant gĂ©nĂ©ralement tabou.
âOn est dans le faux au quotidien. Tout ce que lâon voit est fabriquĂ©!
Il faut se reconnecter au vrai, câest Ă dire au monde spirituel.
Je lis beaucoup dâouvrages dâOmraam MikhaĂ«l AĂŻvanhov, qui mâa beaucoup appris a ce sujet.
Car, avant tout, Michael sâest rĂ©vĂ©lĂ©. Il a choisi de ne pas rester dans un conformisme et cherche Ă sâĂ©lever et transmettre un message.
âJâai toujours Ă©tĂ© spirituel, et toujours su manifester ce que je voulais.
Cependant, en Ă©voluant, ma conception du succĂšs est devenue complĂštement diffĂ©rente. Je lis constamment pour Ă©lever ma conscience. Maintenant, si je vois une grosse voiture ou une montre de luxe, je trouve cela has-been, mâas -tu vu!
Je respecte plus quelquâun qui va utiliser un moyen de transport qui consomme moins, qui fait des choix respectueux de lâenvironnement par exemple. Quelquâun qui va faire les choses avec bienveillance.
Je fais moi-mĂȘme les choses pour les autres.
Ătre positif nâattire que le positif; il faut dâabord ĂȘtre heureux avec soi mĂȘme pour ĂȘtre heureux en couple, par exemple. Et je pense que lorsquâon est malheureux, câest parce que lâon a fait quelque chose de nĂ©gatif Ă un moment donnĂ©, et que cela nous revient en plein visage.
Se sentir utile et donner son Ă©nergie aux autres est un bien ĂȘtre personnel. Une des clĂ©s du bonheur. Une nourriture pour lâĂąme et la conscience.
On peut donner de multiples maniĂšres: Ă©motionnellement, financiĂšrement, psychologiquement, spirituellementâŠ
Ce qui mâaiguille dans la vie est mon intuition: je ressens lâaura des gens. Dâailleurs, jâai crĂ©Ă© un concept sur cette base. Jâorganise des Ă©vĂ©nements de networking, la Santa Maria, avec toutes les personnes que jâaime et qui ont une bonne Ă©nergie. On est maintenant prĂšs de 3000.
Des amitiĂ©s en sont nĂ©es, des partenaires professionnels, des couples, car les gens sont sur la mĂȘme longueur dâonde, la mĂȘme frĂ©quence vibratoire.
Câest pourquoi mon mantra est de âfaire les choses avec amourâ.
Today I am interviewing Alejandro Rioja.
He is an entrepreneur and investor who moved from Bolivia to the States. At only 23 years old, he just made the cover of Forbes & I'm excited to share some of his best business tips and vision of success.
Weâre also going to talk about his alter ego, Young Slacker who is the complete contrast of his geeky side in real life, because heâs also a latino rapper who sings about girls, drugs, party and so on.
He inspires through his ability to embrace the different facets that make him truly unique and unapologetically HIMSELF.
He's also highly ambitious and constantly crushes business and personal goals despite starting from zero, letting his passions lead him.
The two beautiful Founders of Poétique Paris: Cattleya & Pauline
âPassion and benevolence lead to great achievementsâ
â Pauline & Cattleya
Wearing some of their items in vegan leather
(Version française plus bas)
Poéthique Paris, or "Peau éthique Paris" (ethical skin) phonetically, is a fashion brand that evokes dreams, 70s romance, poetry and timeless French charm à la Gainsbourg.
And above all, it stands as an ethical brand, respectful of both people, animals and the environment. In fact, it's even one of the first alternative fashion brands for leather, and the first of its kind in France.
I therefore decided to interview the two radiant Founders, Cattleya and Pauline.
Why offering an alternative to leather?
Leather embodies obviously a problematic because it is linked to animal suffering. Some animals are killed for their skin and leather is not just, as we might think, recycled waste from the food industry. In addition, tanneries are a humanitarian and ecological disaster.
What was your decision to start this project?
We did it in several steps. First, documentaries on Netflix brought our awareness on ethical issues with the current food industry and we started questioning our food choices. Soon after, we decided to take action: eat better, buy better clothes, then produce.
We started changing our own behaviors and soon enough, our way of life began to intrigue our relatives in a positive way, consciences around us started awakening, and it gave us hope!
On the fashion side at the time, we could not find a good alternative to leather.
I was looking for a biker jacket for instance, and I had the choice between spending time in thrift shops hoping to find the rare gem, buying that Zara piece that everyone had, finding a low-quality jacket from an average store or saving to buy a piece from a luxurious brand (in reference to our idol Stella McCartney).
Except that for us, fashion does not belong to an elite, it belongs to everyone and we wanted to create a style that resembled us.
That's how we decided to go against the grain.
How do you stand out with your values in the fashion industry?
Being an ethical entrepreneur is ambivalent because in order to have a real impact, one has to create a revenue.
Hence, we want to show that itâs not incompatible to run both an ethical and responsible production from A to Z: we source our materials in Europe (which limits our environmental impact), we work with studios (which avoids human slavery), and our materials, nb. cereal and apple leather, are vegan and adaptable to fashion (which avoids animal suffering).
When we make a decision, we look at those three conditions first, then we figure out how to sell them.
Of course, being 100% ethical means not selling nor buying, but since we cannot walk around naked ...! We sometimes can allow ourselves a fashion craving without feeling guilty! So better succumbing to a brand that is both pretty and ethical, right?
Love of fashion + desire to take action + desire to contribute to a better world = our project was launched!
What is your hope for the future of our society?
The current way of consuming is terrible, especially in fashion.
But change is taking place in developed countries: we expect tomorrowâs fashion to be 100% eco-responsible, and since Paris aims at becoming the capital of ethical and eco-responsible fashion by 2025, we want to be drivers of this change.
Tips for starting out as an entrepreneur?
Yes! First, spend time on the feasibility. Do a sourcing job to see if your project is feasible. If you are in fashion, check wether your desired material exists, test samples, make several prototypes, find good suppliers ...
Then surround yourself with a collaborator who shares your enthusiasm or friends who support you. And tell yourself that if it does not work it does not matter. Better remorse than regrets!
Personally, we would have suffered more from not having launched our project than from having done it too soon, say if the market werenât ready, for example.
Last tip, sleep well, eat well and take time to disconnect (read a book, go to the movies, whichever hobby makes you feel good): And really follow your bliss because it's with passion and kindness that one can achieve great things!
Did you know?
Here are some alternatives to leather:
Apple leather
Cereal leather
Mushroom leather
Oak tree leather
Wine leather
Pineapple leaf leather / Piñatex
Le saviez-vous?
Voici quelques alternatives au cuir animal:
Cuir de pomme
Cuir de cereale
Cuir de champignon
Cuir de liĂšge
Cuir de raisin
Cuir de feuilles dâananas / Piñatex
PoĂ©tique Paris, ou âPeau Ă©thique Parisâ phonĂ©tiquement, est une marque de mode qui Ă©voque le rĂȘve, la romance des annĂ©es 70, la poĂ©sie et le charme français intemporel â'Ă la Gainsbourgâ.
Mais câest avant tout une marque Ă©tique, respectueuse des hommes, des animaux et de lâenvironnement. En rĂ©alitĂ©, câest mĂȘme lâune des premiĂšre marques de mode alternatives au cuir, et la premiĂšre de ce genre en France.
Une interview sâimposait donc avec les deux fondatrices rayonnantes, Cattleya et Pauline.
Pourquoi une alternative au cuir?
- Le cuir est Ă©videmment une matiĂšre problĂ©matique car elle est liĂ©e Ă la souffrance animale. Certaines bĂȘtes sont tuĂ©es pour leur peau et le cuir nâest pas uniquement, comme on peut le croire, recyclĂ© des dĂ©chets de lâindustrie alimentaire. De plus, les tanneries reprĂ©sentent une catastrophe humanitaire et Ă©cologique.
Quel a été votre déclic pour vous lancer dans ce projet?
Cela sâest fait par Ă©tapes. Dâabord une prise de conscience via des documentaires sur Netflix oĂ» lâon sâest posĂ©es des questions sur nos choix alimentaires, puis au delĂ de cela on a voulu ĂȘtre dans lâaction: mieux manger, mieux acheter des vĂȘtements, puis produire.
On a commencĂ© Ă notre Ă©chelle puis âlâeffet tĂąche dâhuileâ sâest fait ressentir. Notre mode de vie a commencĂ© Ă intriguer de maniĂšre positive, les consciences autour de nous se sont mobilisĂ©es petit Ă petit, et ca nous a donnĂ© de lâespoir!
CĂŽtĂ© vĂȘtements, on ne trouvait pas de bonne alternative au cuir.
Je cherchais par exemple un bon perfecto, et jâavais le choix entre passer des heure en friperie Ă espĂ©rer trouver la pĂ©pite, acheter la piĂšce Zara que tout le monde a, ou trouver un produit de marque lambda avec une qualitĂ© dĂ©plorable ou alors Ă©conomiser pour sâacheter une piĂšce de grande marque (on pense a notre idole Stella McCartney). sauf que pour nous, la mode nâappartient pas Ă une Ă©lite, elle appartient Ă tout le monde et nous avons voulu crĂ©er une mode qui nous ressemble.
Câest comme cela que lâon a voulu sortir des chemins battus.
Comment pensez-vous défaire les codes du monde de la mode?
Etre un entrepreneur éthique est ambivalent car pour avoir un vrai impact, il faut se développer et créer du rendement.
Câest pourquoi on veut montrer que ce nâest pas incompatible dâavoir une production Ă©thique et responsable de A a Z: on source nos matiĂšres en Europe (qui limite lâimpact environnemental), on travaille avec atelier (qui limitent le mal-ĂȘtre humain), et nos matiĂšres, le cuir de cĂ©rĂ©ale et de pomme, sont vegan et adaptables au prĂȘt-a porter (qui Ă©vite la souffrance animale).
Lorsque lâon prend une dĂ©cision, on regarde ces trois volets en premier, puis on se demande comment faire pour le vendre.
Bien Ă©videmment, ĂȘtre 100% Ă©thique câest ne pas vendre et ne pas acheter, mais comme on ne peut pas se promener nues dans les ruesâŠ! Et puis on a parfois le droit de consommer et de craquer sur des piĂšces sans culpabiliser! Alors autant le faire sur une marque qui est jolie et Ă©thique, non?
Amour de la mode + envie dâentreprendre + envie de mieux faire et dâĂȘtre actrices de changement = notre projet sâest lancĂ©!
Quel est votre espoir sur lâavenir de notre sociĂ©tĂ©?
La façon actuelle de consommer est terrible, notamment dans la mode.
Mais un tournant est en train dâĂȘtre pris dans les pays dĂ©veloppĂ©s: on sâattend Ă ce que la mode de demain soit 100% Ă©co-responsable, et sachant que Paris a pour objectif de devenir la capitale de la mode Ă©co-responsable et Ă©thique dâici 2025, on voulait ĂȘtre actrices de ce changement.
Des conseils pour se lancer en tant quâentrepreneur?
Oui! Dâabord, passer du temps sur la faisabilitĂ©. Effectuer un travail de sourcing pour voir si votre projet est faisable. Dans la mode, verifier que la matiĂšre recherchĂ©e existe, tester des Ă©chantillons, faire plusieurs prototypes, trouver de bons fournisseursâŠ
Ensuite, savoir bien sâentourer dâun collaborateur qui partage notre enthousiasme ou dâamis qui nous soutiennent. Et se dire que si ca ne marche pas ce nâest pas grave. Mieux vaut vivre avec des remords que des regrets!
Personnellement, on aurait plus souffert de ne pas avoir lancĂ© notre projet que de lâavoir fait trop tĂŽt si le marchĂ© nâĂ©tait pas prĂȘt, par exemple.
Enfin, bien dormir, bien manger et sâoctroyer du temps pour dĂ©connecter (lire un livre, aller au cinĂ©ma, peu importe le passe-temps qui nous fait du bien): Et vraiment en avoir envie, car câest avec passion et bienveillance que lâon rĂ©alise de grandes choses!
Are you an entrepreneur, an artist, an athlete, a healer or anyone who wants to make a positive impact in the word?
SHARE YOUR STORY
New interview from my bodybuilding series in partnership with Your Fitness, interviewing Axel on the way sports impacted his life positively:
"I first started bodybuilding without a program, then I went on an Erasmus trip and completely lacked diligence.
But for a year and a half now, Iâve regained control of myself and sports has become my life. Iâve decided to make the most out of my time at the gym and optimize my training. read books, watch fitness videos, talk to coaches ...
My biggest motivation has been to see my body change: I gained 20 pounds, of muscle mainly: quadriceps, shoulders ...
As a teenager, I grew up fast and I was thin. So, I wanted to see how far my body could go naturally.
This new way of life has impacted other areas: Iâve engaged in a strict lifestyle, I stopped smoking, reduced alcohol, started to eat better (bio), to hydrate more, to sleep better ...
Sports has become an integral part of my life, an evidence after work, a pleasure ...
In fact, my life is now scheduled around sports: 1.training, 2.food, 3.rest, 4.work.
It's not just a workout, itâs an investment in my health, in my future."
_______
"J'ai d'abord attaqué la musculation sans programme, puis suis parti en voyage Erasmus et perdu mon assiduité.
Depuis un an et demi, je me suis repris en main et le sport est devenu ma vie. J'ai eu envie de rentabiliser mon temps perdu à la salle et ai optimisé mes entraÏnements. J'ai lu des livres, regardé des videos sur le sport, parlé à des coachs...
Ma plus grande motivation a été de voir mon corps se transformer: j'ai pris 20 kilos de muscles principalement. Quadriceps, épaules...
Adolescent, j'ai grandi vite et j'Ă©tais mince. Donc, j'ai envie de voir jusqu'oĂč mon corps peut aller naturellement .
Ce nouveau mode de vie a impactĂ© d'autres domaines.: j'ai commencĂ© une hygiĂšne de vie stricte , j'ai arrĂštĂ© de fumer, diminuĂ© l'alcool, commencĂ© Ă manger mieux (bio), Ă mieux dormir, bien mâhydrater ...
Le sport est devenu une partie intégrante de ma vie , un automatisme aprÚs le boulot, un plaisir...
D'ailleurs, toute ma vie est désormais tournée autour sport: entraßnement, alimentation, repos, travail.
Ce nâest pas que lâentraĂźnement, c'est un investissement sur ma santĂ©, sur lâavenir."
All photos by Cassell Inc.
âNever under the influence, always influencingâ
â Chris Lavish
Cassell Inc.
When I heard of Chris Lavish for the first time, Global Digital Director at Fashion Week Online, I thought âNot only does this guy unapologetically say what he thinks, but he has a style thatâs impossible to copy. And he escaped the 9/5, And heâs woke. And vegan. And spiritualâŠâ
#Tribe!
I wanted to investigate more about the Lavish signature and learn:
-> What led the self-called âintergalactic tattoo moduleâ to stop caring about peopleâs opinions to become his true self,
-> How he unlocked the money energy and the mindset that allowed him to access the traveling & influencer lifestyle that "many dream of, but few work forâ.
The conversation turned into a podcast with one of the most genuine and fun persons Iâve met, filled with inspiration and motivational quotes.
Find your Way in the Episode:0:30 - How making money affects your biochemistry
3:00 - Why you have to know how much youâre worth
6:30 - Morning & evening routine
9:45 - Chrisâ fashion journey
11:30 - Pleasing yourself comes first
13:00 - Truth in the media & why how much you care will dictate how far you go in life
17:00 - How the universe rewards you for living freely
26:00 - Can you work AND be happy? + Why you should avoid the 9/5
Cassell Inc.
âThe way you start your day is the way you start your lifeâChris Lavishâ tips to conquer the day:1. Wake up as early as possible 2. Stretch, foam-roll 3. Exercise to get the body active 4. Drink water 5. Take a really cold water 6. Kill the day!
Some delicious quotes from Chris Lavish, for when you need a little extra motivation to crush your goals:MONEYâWhich language am I fluent in? Money talkâ
âMoney is the only way youâll ever free yourself from both yourself and what other people thinkâ
SELF-LOVEâIf you want to be everybody else, youâll never be yourselfâ
âCaring will dictate how far you go in life. If you care too much, youâll kill yourself out of money.â
âItâs impossible to make someone happy - Youâre better off trying to please yourself, at least you know you better.â
âYou canât please everyone, but as long as you please yourself youâll be alright.â
VALUING YOURSELFâYou have to know how much youâre worth, or else youâll always get underpaidâ
âIâm close to priceless, or to some people im just completely free.â
MENTAL FREEDOMâI escaped that mental prison a long time ago and never looked backâ.
âMental freedom is the first step and then you just pick your pathâ.
HUSTLEâThe way you start your morning is the way you start your lifeâ
âYou expect too much and work too littleâ.
âIâve never met anybody who works 24/7 and never got somewhereâ
âIf you donât grow yourself, you wonât grow your businessâ
Find more of Chris on Instagram:
Chris Lavish Instagram
I had the privilege of attending the Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week this year, and you know me, I exclusively seek designers who pass on an empowering message through their work.
Haute Couture creations are generally breathtaking, and adding a layer of depth by integrating a message for those who wear them certainly multiplies their value.
Thatâs what led me to the Baroqco show.
The founders, originally from the Netherlands, have this beautiful story of having fallen in love with bijoux and gems in particular, in Paris, Place VendĂŽme, as they were selecting jewelry to wear for their wedding.
Eduardo Liem, who designed the pieces with his wife, Imelda, answered some of my questions about their extravagant designs and the love and intent theyâve infused into them, as we cheered on sugar-free soda at Le Grand Hotel Intercontinental de Paris, after the show:
âWhat I want to achieve through my designs is female empowerment. I want to take away the insecurity of women so they can be empowered by it.
When I give them my jewelry, they are sometimes within their comfort zone, insecure⊠But once they wear it, they get outside of that comfort zone. They go through a transformation to be the women they are, with a sense of dignity and extroversion. All eyes are on themâ.
And indeed, how can you not feel like a queen yourself when wearing such fabulous pieces? See for yourself:
Xavier has been my friend since kindergarten.
But over the last few years, he has completely transformed his physique with body building.
I wondered what kept him motivated to continue as most people drop their New Yearâs workout resolutions in February.
"Iâve always had the taste of the effort.
I have practiced horse riding, volleyball, badminton, now bodybuilding ... In addition to relaxation, sports allows you to build a physique that you like, which I find essential for self-confidence. As someone said, "One must suffer to be beautiful"!
Also, at the gym, there is an atmosphere of camaraderie, a friendliness that I did not find in other sports, even in team sports.
And above all, it's a healthy activity - we're not at the bar! Even some older people who come here and donât push themselves as hard are happy to be here for the dynamic and motivating atmosphere! It catalyzes the effort and invites to persevere.
Like everything else, sport is a matter of willpower - you have to be clear about your goals, unafraid of getting started and not hesitate to ask for advice and persevere. No pain, no gain".
Hi guys,
So Iâve just finished a partnership with a french fitness company, interviewing their members about the way sports has positively impacted different areas of their lives.
Incredibly interesting to see how motivations can be drastically different from one member to another!
From the person who went from overweight to athlete, the one who decided to invest in their health, the one who works out fully dressed, scarf, hat & earrings included because she doesnât have much time, to the one who had rather be here than being on the streets causing troubles⊠They all have something to escape or something to attain.
And the beauty of that is that sports rassembles them around a healthy activity, that provides them with an increased self-confidence, that in turn impacts other areas or their life (career, love, friendshipsâŠ) because theyâve learnt to set objectives, handle pain and push their limits.
Why do you work out and how has it brought benefits into your life?
Hereâs the first interview of the series:
"Sport is the school of life: we learn to define goals and overcome difficulties, which translates into other areas of life.
Younger, I won a national full-contact competition, then competed in athletics and moved on to bodybuilding, more playful.
After having back problems, I realized the importance of the mindset. If we listen to doctors, we donât do anything!
In parallel, I understood the importance of health beyond performance.
I saw how doping in high level competitions could destroy the health of those who seek to shine ...
And my wife opened my eyes to the vegan diet. I did my research and reoriented my way of thinking:
how do my lifestyle and diet help me function?
I gained ten pounds of muscle since I started bodybuilding and am interested in food hygiene. One does not go without the other!
I also reoriented myself: I was already practicing a health profession, and I am going to specialize in sports physiotherapy.
Sport has become an integral part of my life that made me want to give the best of myself, for myself.
That's why my personal motto is: go all the way. Till the end. Of your dreams, your goals, without worrying about the obstacles. "
____
"Le sport, c'est l'école de la vie: on apprend à définir des objectifs et à se donner les moyens de surmonter des difficultés, ce qui se transpose à d'autres domaines de la vie.
Plus jeune, j'ai remporté une compétition nationale de full-contact, puis
participé à des compétitions d'athlétisme pour ensuite évoluer vers la musculation, plus ludique.
AprÚs des problÚmes de dos j'ai compris l'importance que jouait le mental. Si on écoute les médecins, on ne fait plus rien!
En parallÚle, j'ai compris l'importance de la santé, au-delà de la performance.
J'ai vu comment le dopage dans les compétitions de haut niveau pouvait détruire la santé de ceux qui cherchent à briller...
Et ma femme m'a ouvert les yeux sur un nouveau mode alimentaire, le végétalisme. J'ai fait mes recherches et réorienté mon mode de pensée: qu'est-ce que mon mode de vie et ma nourriture m'apportent pour bien fonctionner?
J'ai pris dix kilos (de muscles) depuis que j'ai attaqué la musculation et me suis intéressé à l'hygiÚne alimentaire. L'un ne va pas sans l'autre!
Je me suis Ă©galement rĂ©orientĂ©: je pratiquais dĂ©jĂ un mĂ©tier de santĂ©, et m'apprĂȘte Ă me spĂ©cialiser en kinĂ©sithĂ©rapie du sport.
Le sport est devenu une partie intĂ©grante de ma vie qui m'a donnĂ© envie de donner le meilleur de moi-mĂȘme, pour moi-mĂȘme.
Voila pourquoi mon slogan personnel est: go all the way. Va jusqu'au bout. De tes rĂȘves, de tes objectifs, sans te soucier des limites que tu pensais avoir. "
âI donât belong to youâ - Photos by Marco Ter Beek
As I was walking around Hotel Intercontinental during the Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week, I spotted the fashion designer Mido wearing a belt full of statements like âJustice, Freedom, Peaceâ and other power words I related to.
Because Iâm specialized in portrait interviews centered around social justice and impact, I grabbed him for an interview.
â- I love women. But I feel like when women design for other women, thereâs jealousy involved.
Iâve witnessed several times clients looking perfect in dresses and the designer would say âDonât take it, letâs stay on the safe sideââŠ
I don't chose the safe side. In fact, the way Iâd describe my ideal client would be âa divaâ.
I donât like how this word is usually defined, but the way I see it is a woman whoâs walking down the street and everybody is looking at her, wondering where she got her outfit from, because she looks fabulous!
Itâs not just about the cut, the color, the silhouette nor the cloth, itâs also about sending a message.
One of my idols is Viviane Westwood because she makes crazy fashion, a mix between pretty a porter and haute-couture, but through her clothes, she expresses herself and the way she thinks, which itâs really important for me too.
Itâs one of the reasons why I feel different from many designers.
Another reason I feel different comes from my background: I was born in Egypt and Iâm mixed-race. My mother is white, my father is black, my grand-mother is Turkish.
Every 2-3 years I would move to a different country, so Iâve always been interested in other cultures. I studied in American schools, and even if weâd speak the same languages with my classmates, we would have different accents and backgrounds.
I used to hate that instability because Iâd always have to make new friends and get accustomed to new cultures. But now I see how it has built my character, and eventually my work.
Actually, my biggest inspiration is mixed cultures. For instance, my last collection is inspired by two cultures very far away from each other⊠I researched those cultures a lot and tried to find the common ground to mix them together : Maasai and Mongolia.
I just moved from Poland to Paris this week and Iâm excited to see what inspiration will arise for my next collections!
âI donât belong to youâ is my slogan and is part of my label, sewed on all my clothes.
Anyone will interpret it differently, but for me it means that wherever Iâve lived, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I feel the same about religions, languages⊠I appreciate everything but I donât want to feel biased nor limited.
I donât like to feel judged by close-minded people, upon whichever category they put me in, for instance, my skin is colored and people get shocked in Polish when I speak their language perfectly. Why?!
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Itâs really a strong statement because when comparing your journey to your work, it feels like since you were forced to move to all those different places during your childhood, you probably felt like you didnât belong, and though âYou know what, if I donât belong, Iâm gonna be my own persona, embrace my uniqueness and create pieces that stand outâ, I reply.
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Exactly. I want to show that difference is beautiful and not something to hide from, rather something to embrace.
Life is so short!
Iâve noticed that people prefer to stick with jobs and situations they dislike until the end of their lives, to then regret and question their choices once itâs too late. If everyone pursued what they were good at, they would put their heart into what they do best and the world would change.
- Thatâs what I display with my work, by portraying people like youâ, I conclude.
:)
In this episode, I'm interviewing Polar Bear, a street artist who uses stencils to spread awareness on climate change.
Born in a family of ecology activists, he's been conscious of the necessity of preserving the fauna and flaura since a young age & uses his art to make people think.
Does it ever happen to you that an angel comes your way and unexpectedly tells you exactly what you needed to hear, as well as to every single friend sitting at your table and half of you end up in tears of joy, because her words resonate so deeply?
Well, this happened to me last week and I couldnât be more grateful for meeting Snow, such an energetic, loving and giving woman.
We stopped by her restaurant in Paris and she gave us numerous life advice.
I rarely see people shining so bright and looking so filled with love and happiness.
Her secret?
âLove first.
Love yourself and love others.
No matter the obstacles.
No matter wether youâre rich or poor.
No matter if youâre successful or not, alone or surrounded.
Keep loving, keep believing.
God listens to you and will give you anything you ask for.
In everything that I do, I put love. When I cook. When I talk to my customers, my family, my friends.
When I do anything.
Iâm filled with love.
Thatâs my tip.
And then I eat one pomegranate a day, to prevent cancer.â
:)
Photos by Christopher Brown
I overheard Danni Lançaâs music while walking nearby my hotel in Lisbon.
I picked up on certain words in Portuguese and figured he was singing about nature preservation and questions related to the future of our planet and species.
You know me, I sensed he had powerful messages to spread, so I waited for his break to ask for an interview:
âWe need unification right now, he says.
Thereâs lots of differences and cultures on the planet and we forget we are one tribe.
You know, as a street singer; Iâve noticed the difference⊠Iâve been singing on the streets for 20 years, and people are not looking at me as much.
I sing in 5 languages though, so they understand what I say. And music is the most expansive art too. Say if I danced, passersby would only use one sense to notice me.
But if they donât see me, how could they listen?
Popular songs nowadays talk about girls, gold and Ferraris. Those lyrics are low frequency and centered around ego.
But music has power and people cannot live without it, so I hope that musicians will start writing about more interesting topics, so we can bring a positive vibe and make a difference by talking about whatâs inside humans rather than appearance.â
Find your way in the episode:
1:30 lyrics - the importance of taking care of the nature and each other
4:00 humans are disconnected
5:30 the power of music
I came across Alessandro while stepping out of a store in London. When I heard his music, I chose to stop my autopilot of going from point A to point B and appreciate that moment. After we connected, I looked through his Instagram profile and a caption stayed with me:
âWHEN PEOPLE STOP BY AND SHARE A MOMENT OF THEIR LIVES WITH ME AND MY MUSIC, ALL THE NOISES OF THE STREET FADE OUT, DISAPPEAR FOR A SECOND, AND WE CAN FOCUS ON THE PRESENT. TOGETHERâ.
How often do you catch yourself focusing on the moment like that⊠And how often are you on auto-pilot?
âMy overall message is to pay attention to what surrounds you. People, buildings, nature, the sky...
I play music on the streets and it's interesting to observe people and notice how they look around: the stressed ones look at the pavement, others look at the sky and take it all in... In fact, when you look at the sky, your problems are nothing. Even if you think your problems are covering you, the sky covers your problems!
When I play, I focus on those who stare at me to connect over my music rather than just see me, because they are in the present.
I reached a turning point two years ago after quitting my studies in Italy to come here, focus on music and discover my artistic self.
After having had a rough patch, I started to see life as a roller coaster. Imagine you run in a field and fall in a black hole: you have to discover what's around you in the dark and find the tools to climb back up.
It doesn't mean you can never fall in another hole again, it's a continuum, but at least you have the tools.
Since happiness is beautiful but not constant, you need those flows to appreciate it through contrasts, and for me as a writer, to have something to write about.
I want my music to reflect that. I also see it as a sort of meditation because when I play, I tend to be elsewhere, in another state of mind, focused on the performance, attuned.
I originally challenged myself to perform on the streets because I was afraid of peopleâs opinions, so I decided to play every day until Iâd stop caring. I noticed that the more confident I was playing the exact same songs, the more successful I would be. Thatâs why I think looking inward is so important for an artist.
Another beautiful thing I attach to music is its connection with nature. My guitar is a piece of wood, so from my perspective, I am playing a tree and the tree is playing me! Itâs a relationship. Everything is musical in nature, itâs doing sounds. Birds are singing, workers on the streets, we just have to listen.
When we met, I was playing âWinter is comingâ which will be my first release from an EP called "O", that is about the flow of seasons and how it mirrors the circle of life. This song is about taking action and "climbing up the hole" or in other words, facing mountains.
What inspires me is the way I chose to react to pain and find my ways out and I translate it into emotions. This perspective is what defines my lyrics in general and the reason I write about positive things.
If you truly pay attention at the beauty that surrounds you, you can chose to see art everywhere, anywhere, within others and within you.
I was in Paris this week, and obviously, as a Journalist specialized in portraits of game-changers and rule-breakers, I ought to attend a yellow-jacket march.
As I was walking down Montmartre, I spotted a group of them, looking for the rest of the regiment.
We made acquaintance:
âBe careful, walking around with your camera... Some of the YJ hate Journalists'â they said, while handing me some artificial tears in case Iâd get gassed.
âAt the Champs Elysees last week, we saw some of them got beaten up and get their cameras crushed. Itâs no laughing matter.
To be honest, we donât trust the mass media anymore, they lie too much. So Journalists get stigmatized.
For instance, BFM TV claimed we were â1500â last week. Look at the pictures on my phone. This is ridiculous. They make the movement look smaller than it is, because they are scared.
I know you are an alternative media, but just beware.â
Next, I asked him what he had against the government:
âWe are cash cows to them. Constantly taxed.
For instance, my dad has worked for 40 years and keeps paying loads of taxes.
We go on holidays, and when we return, we notice the government has voted new laws in the meantime, or added more taxes.
The solution? I think that Macron should listen to people and ask us for our opinion. Let the people vote. And implement a real Liberty - Equality - Fraternityâ.
I asked what triggered his willingness to revolt.
âWell, Iâve been in the army for 15 years and over there, I realized we were mere pawns of the State, formatted.
Selling weaponry, destroying countries, building them back and watching citizens suffer.
After the army, I worked in the Antarctic Ocean for a year, surrounded by penguins and sea elephants.
So when I got back to France, after being so connected to nature and animals, I got a slap in my face.
We are destroying the world. I see politicians and lobbies place money before anything else. Thatâs hypocrisy. I am scared for my children. Which is also why I am marching today. I questioned myself a lot. And the capitalistic system. I donât want them to tell me one day âWhat have you done? How could you leave us a planet like this and not fight?!â.
I know itâs not easy, we work all day, we go home⊠But my message to people is: take a step back and analyze what is going on. Donât fit the mold.â
During my last trip to Turkey, I headed to Cappadocia with a girlfriend to watch one of the most beautiful sceneries that exist⊠To witness hundreds of hot air ballon rides at sunrise. After this magical experience, she introduced me to her air balloon pilot, Erdal.
âI love my job. Iâve done this for 5 years and havent complained a single time. Not a single time have I though: âI donât want to go to work todayâ. I dreamed to fly and the fact that I get to experience that on a daily basis makes me speechless. Also, bringing smiles onto peopleâs faces gives me energy⊠Most ladies even cry of happiness.
Iâve understood that it doesnât matter how much you charge, whatever you do, put your heart into it. Working a low-paid job that you love means more than having a high-salary and being stressed because you hate what you do.
Chiefs can cook the same meal with the same ingredients, but the flavor will be different depending on wether they cook with love.
I get it. Money should be the number one priority for a business. However, the way I handle mine is as follows: first safety, then making people happy, then money (if I deserve it). I was a florist before and had the same feeling - I went the extra mile to create this wow sensation in peopleâs eyes. That gave me the feeling I was successful and should keep going.
Now as a pilot, yes, people pay me for my service, but in return they get something that they cannot touch, taste or smell. Yes, itâs partly visual. Still, they FEEL it in their bones. Itâs an experience.
They will enjoy the scenery either way, for sure. I want to enhance that through connection. Tourists come from their country for something specific, they have a dream, they want to be happy, escape their daily stress and pressure, relaxâŠ
So I love to create emotional switches, to make them forget about their problems and let go of their fears. Fear of height is psychological. They are nervous at the beginning, so I say that the name of the balloon is âTitanicâ and start playing the music, they laugh and we drop the pressure instantly.
Then once up in the air, I ask them: âAre you happy? If not, I can open the floors for you!â Those little changes of emotions make them more present in the moment. I am not giving them a fancy car or a house, I am sharing an experience that creates genuine happiness.â
As I place my hand close to my face, Erdal notices the butterfly tattoos on my wrist. âInteresting, a butterfly. This symbolizes that life is short. I remind myself of this constantly. My silver lining happened in 2005, after a break-up because I was selfish.
It taught me to always try to be nice and express my love with others. Everybody knows how much they love but never how much they are loved.
Therefore, Iâve designed the enveloppes of my air balloons with smiley faces with heart-eyes and Iâm currently designing one that says on it âLove is in the airâ.â
Love is not a person. It just is there. Inside of you. Itâs in the air all around us. And anyone can feel it too, once they switch their perspective."
âPeopleâs two biggest fear are being alone, and wasting their time doing a career they hateâ
â Jumal Lewis
I met Jumal on my way to an interview, he was my Uber driver.
As I was preparing myself for the meeting, he quickly pulled out a numerology book and gave me a mini-reading at the red-light.
As we chatted about his craft and he was giving me advice on how to succeed at the interview (which I did), I asked him about numerology and his experience with âmagicâ.
He shared multiple stories of witchcraft he witnessed in African villages, where he first was confronted to unexplainable events, and his transition to numerology, what it is and how it can help guide you on your path.
Find your way in the episode:
0:00 - Getting into numerology to find clarity on your path
05:00 - Believing in magic and witnessing healing and witchcraft in the bushes
08:00 - Traditional medicine vs modern medicine
13:00 - âThis shit is realâ - Rain ceremonies & other unexplainable human power over nature
18:00 - What people ask about during readings: love and career over money and health: the two biggest fears are:
- To be alone
- To waste your time doing a career you hate
19:00 - What numbers can tell you
23:30 - Do you want to plan or do you like surprises?
25:40 - Numbers influence but do not determine + Examples of cycles
Hereâs parts of my interview of a fashion model and strong inspiring woman who decided redefine beauty from all perspectives.
A story of empowerment, self-love and social justice wrapped in a movie coming out early 2019.
I was lucky enough to meet Chris Saur and dig deeper on her journey from Civil Engineer, to Fashion Model, to Activist on a quest for the true definition of beauty.
MY ARTICLE IN FASHION IN REVOLT**A collective of fashion enthusiasts with a focus on social justice, millennial and promoting authenticity.
Iâve practiced various types of yoga in different parts of the world and my most intense session was during an ashtanga class, in France.
As I was holding a contorted pose, I felt emotions coming up.
After talking to my teacher, I realized that yoga isnât just a workout.
Itâs way to face your body, to be in the present moment, to let go of emotions and to exorcise fears, traumas and imposed limitations.
Thatâs what we discussed in the interview.
Check it out!
âWitnessing my photographer friends lose sight was an eye opener to live in the moment & cherish everything that I have right nowâ
â @rd.click
Link to the episode: bit.ly/Ratan_LivesDisrupted
In my spare time, I sometimes like to do some modeling.
So back in LA, I got it touch with Ratan to plan a photoshoot downtown.
He had recently moved to town and needed some content for his portfolio, while I wanted some nice pictures for myself (and Instagram :) ).
Turns out we were both keen on in-depth conversations and got to know each other quickly during the shoot.
I was floating from one emotion to another as we were telling each otherâs about our passions, vulnerabilities, fears and dreams.
Truth is, Ratan is specialized in female portraits, with a focus on raw genuine emotions.
He blends storytelling and photography to create unique portraits that tell a story through the eyes of the models he shoots.
He also has a superpower that makes his creations unique.
Find out what it is in the podcast.
Find you way in the episode:
0:00 - Chasing the light and telling a story
2:10 - Being colorblind as a photographer: turning a weakness into a strength
6:00 - Getting laid off and picking oneâs camera for the first time
10:00 - The street-smart way of learning photography
14:00 - Why smile is a distraction on pictures⊠Are you happy or pretending to be?
18:00 - Capturing expression through the eyes after having model share their story
21:00 - Witnessing a famous photographer lose sight
Ratan's Instagram
More podcast episodes on Apple Podcast under Lives / Disrupted
In this episode, I'm following Sam Polyvyanny to jump off a plane.
I met this crazy guys self proclaimed ânot give a fuck-erâ at a coffee place in Venice, LA. He was doing a headstand in the middle of a coffee-place and had to do a good deed to make up for a bad deed heâd done earlier that day.
He asked me what he could do to make me happy.
at the time I had just been let go of my job and was paralyzed by fear.
To leave the country. My friends. My life I had newly built.
To transition to JournalismâŠ
So I wanted to try something new.
Do something so scary, anything beside it would seem ridiculously simple.
Get this âbadassâ feeling once and for all.
My biggest fear was to jump off a plane and turns out he was planning on doing a jump later that week. Coincidence?
At the time, he was doing a "30 Days of Rejection" challenge to get out of his comfort zone, so I decided to step out of mine and do something crazy with him, just 72h later after we met...
Whatâs the scariest thing you can think of? Would you face your fear?
I met Adam in beautiful Bali, and approached him after overhearing his conversation on anxiety and how his experience with yoga had been transformative.
We sat down the following day to discuss his journey through the discovery of yoga, from hating it to incorporating it to his lifestyle and as part of his mission.
We also chatted about entrepreneurship, the human quest to happiness and making an impact, discovering spirituality and embracing the feeling of being stuck in order to grow.
âEmbrace being stuck!â
â Adam Carney
Find your way in the episode:
1:00 - Getting started with yoga to handle LAâs energy to cope with anxiety
07:00 - Being given everything in life and still not being fulfilled
08:45 - Yoga is not just about the physical layers, itâs a lifestyle
13:00 - The origins of yoga
15:00 - Listening to your call or doing whatâs comfortable?
17:00 - From being a millionaire on paper to being left with nothing
19:00 - The process of creating meaningful value & the traps of entrepreneurs
28:00 - Spiritual people: weâre all on the same train but we chose to take the window seat
32:00 - Feeling your way through life
35:30 - Embrace being stuck!
âYouâre the only thing that is realâ
â Sage Michael
It's not every day that a Linkedin contact tells you that you first conversation will change your life...
I interview people about their turning points and this story was one of a kind.
Sage explained to me how he managed to recreate reality with the power of his mind at multiple occasions, and the struggle to make people who havenât experienced it conceive its potentiality...
He also shares technique on how to (and how not to!) manifest what we want, and what happiness really means.
Find your way in the episode:
04:00 - You are as powerful as you believe that you are
09:00 - Starting with self-growth
13:00 - Recreating reality: magic or reality?
20:50 - If you try too hard, itâs not going to work
36:00 - The law of attraction is a trap
39:00 - Creating drama in order to grow
45:30 - Breaking the common conceptions of pleasure, happiness, joy & bliss
The course: www.risewith.us - 20% off with the code LIVESDISRUPTED
Last month, I secretly took off to Palma, Spain, to attend and preview a private meditation retreat at a Lamaâs house who had studied religions for over 40 years with a particular inclination for Buddhism.
The concept of the retreat was to get out of the matrix through meditative techniques.
I didnât realize how deeply lost I was in that matrix until we took the time to reflect upon it in peace, away from all distractions, in the countryside of Mallorca.
First of all, what do I mean by âmatrixâ? Itâs the idea that happiness depends on âhavingâ.
Itâs thinking: âIâm happy becauseâŠâ or âIâll be happy whenâŠâ.
In fact, the conceptual idea of happiness that is commonly shared in the western society nowadays depends on 8 âsuperficialâ motivations:
- Seeking pleasure / Avoiding pain
- Seeking gain / Avoiding loss
- Seeking celebrity / Avoiding anonymity
- Seeking praise / Avoiding blame
Consequently, the goal of my meditation retreat was to deconstruct and lose attachment to those motivations, realize that change is internal, be more in the moment and learn to observe whatever happens in my life without reacting emotionally (or letâs be honest, at least, not as intensely).
At first, as I started to lose attachment to those motivations, I felt extremely low. I was surprised to notice that detoxifying my mind from those addictions affected me physically as well. It was like taking a really cold mental shower.
In fact, interestingly enough, after having interviewed over 300 people all over the world on their definition of success and happiness, I had already come to the conclusion that happiness was indeed a mindset, not a thing. Things are illusions of happiness.
Which is also the reason why I stopped marketing random products.
But I had never really applied that concept.
So that was the biggest takeaway from the meditation retreat that helped me reflect upon the Tibetan definition of happiness through introspection and development of awareness.
Itâs about being, not having.
Choosing to lose attachment is a difficult decision that I keep going back and forth on and for which I have to constantly exercice my strength.
I am tempted to wanting to keep the highs high and avoid the lows rather than enjoying the game. Attachment often drags me up and down like a yoyo in a roller coaster.
Putting that thought into practice when meditating, the whole idea is that, for instance, whether I own that studio in LA, keep seeing that guy, do that collaboration with that editorial or not, things will be okay. The idea is to embrace whatever comes my way with its load of surprises and challenges.
01:00 - Being a school Psychologist: the conflict of assigning labels rather than being a platform for real change
07:00 - The plane crash: seeing your life flash before your eyes and feeling at peace with dying
17:00 - Overcoming traumas
22:00 - Treating PTSD physically as well as mentally
26:00 - Becoming a Goddess of light and love without ignoring the shadow
31:00 - Creating ways to get people to reconnect through interactive social experiments
I met Vanessa on a photoshoot in Portugal. She was beautiful and appeared self-confident.
We quickly exchanged our Instagrams profiles. As I scrolled through her page, I noticed that she was writing long captions about strength, self-confidence and gratitude.
I asked her what led her to this mindset. Because no matter how stunning you look, it is difficult to maintain a high self-confidence in the modeling industry, where your worth is mainly based on your appearance and you face lots of rejections.
Hereâs our interview:
âYou Donât See the World as it Is, You See the World as You Areâ
â Vanessa, Model & Psychologist
1. Vanessa, you are a Model and Psychologist. What is your perspective on beauty?
âFor me, beauty has much more to do with the inside, with how you truly feel about yourself. I mean, if I donât love who I am, how can I expect others to? I believe that we are beings of energy, so we can be absolutely stunning on the outside (though thereâs no such thing as universal beauty), but if we have a bad attitude, if we donât believe in ourselves, if we donât have confidence, if we arenât positive, thatâs how we will appear to others.
2. How do you define self-Love?
If you asked me what my beauty secret was, I would say: Self-Love, because without that, we canât go anywhere, or at least we canât go anywhere and be happy. For me beauty is all about that: in order to love others, we have to love ourselves first, and by loving ourselves, we are teaching others how they should treat us.
3. You talk a lot about gratitude. How did you find your inner peace?
Since I was born, my parents worked a lot, and had to find me an (almost) full time nanny. To make up for the lack of time for taking care of me, they made the mistake that a lot of parents do: Gave me everything. I say that it was a mistake because I didnât have the chance to learn how to fight for things, I had absolutely everything I wanted and I didnât learn how to take a âNoâ for an answer. That type of behavior led me to grow up as an ungrateful person, I used to take everything for granted.
I never judged my parents for not being with me 24/7 because I knew that they really had to work for me and my brother to have a better life, and nowadays, we have a lot of time together. I changed a few years ago and turned into a grateful person, grateful for everything I had, I canât tell you exactly when or why I started to switch my perception of reality. I guess I just matured âŠ
4. How do you use social media?
Social media is not all about beautiful pictures, beautiful plates of food and tumblr quotes that mostly donât even fit the person whoâs posting them ⊠I use my social media for much more than that!
First of all, absolutely everything I post itâs from my heart, itâs not a cute quote that I find somewhere and that is socially cool to write. When I write a quote, from anywhere, itâs because I truly believe in those words. I try everyday to pass on to my followers the way I see and live life, the way I see people, the way I believe the world can be a better place.
I just want to free people from hatred. Do you realize what a game changer this would be if people hated less and loved more, especially themselves? I meet too many people more worried about criticizing others and letting them down, than empowering them. The thing is they do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their own character.
5. Who were you before starting modeling? How did you feel?I had a few friends, never liked to go out much, slept early and always dreamed to be a model. I felt happy but knew something was missing, I always knew what my passion was and I always knew that someday I would run after it and then when I turned 18 I did ⊠and here I am.
6. What led you into this business?
My passion. Itâs all about it. Itâs all about how it makes me feel, how my blood races every time Iâm working.
I can tell you a true story that happened to me almost 3 years ago and gave me the absolutely certainty that I had to go after my dream at all costs: I have only had 2 boyfriends: the first one was my first love back when I was a kid, we all know how it feels. But with the second one, we stayed together for almost 8 years and when it was over, I saw my life falling apart, I could barely breath, sleep or eat, I just cried non stop. I was feeling this inexplicable pain, I looked into my eyes and prayed for God to stop this. How could it hurt me so much since it wasn't even physical? One night, I remember looking at the window and thinking how easy would it be to end that pain. And the next day, I had this one modeling job and was crying at home and telling my best friend I didnât want to go. I ended up going and guess what? While I was shooting, my pain just went away. I didnât feel anything except how blessed I was for being able to live my dream job.
That was what literally made me feel alive. Thatâs the day I decided Iâd do anything in my power to relive that.
7. Tell me about the number 8 and its meaning to you.
The number 8 is the bad luck number of me and my family. I once had a sister (I wasnât born yet so I didnât know her) who got really sick and died a few days later on the 8th. My brother and mum both got cancer and knew about it on the 8th. I had an uncle that had cancer too and died on the 8th. And my father had 2 accidents and both of them were on the 8th.
So, neither of us make important decisions, go on long trips, nor make doctor appointments or anything important on an â8thâ.
Is it a coincidence? I really donât think so âŠ
8. Which specific moment or event has been a turning point for you to decide to be more grateful, strong and positive like you are now?
Like I said, I donât know exactly when I became more grateful, but I can tell you when I started loving myself and when I achieved complete self-love, because those were 2 different stages for me.
I started loving myself when my last relationship was over and I hit the bottom.
I hit the bottom because I loved him more than I loved me, and I think thatâs the real problem. I told you I had 2 boyfriends until now and itâs true, but in my life I loved 3 persons, and one of them was so ⊠overwhelming, and so intense, and so strong ⊠That I forgot about me. I ignored my values and my principles to be with that person. I always loved more others (and Iâm talking about friends too) than myself and once again, I was loving him more than me.
One day, I just woke up, and I told to myself âWhat the hell is this?â. âWhy am I accepting something less than I deserve?â. On that same day, I said itâs over and it was. On that same day, I started to value myself more than anything, I put my standards right where they belonged, so high no one was capable to reach them. No boy, no friend, no one. I can say I can count on one hand the people who really matter to me, and I can say that I donât complete the 5 fingers of a hand without counting my family. Those are my people, the people I care about the most, my home team, the only ones I love as much as I love myself, nothing more, nothing less.
It was a smooth transition in a way that I didnât force it, it just happened overnight, but a painful too because the whole reason of it almost killed me.
10. What helped/helps you overcome challenges?
When I became aware of my value and gained complete self-love, I became so strong, like a bulletproof mind. Now, when I have a challenge and I accept it, I do everything to get it right, but if I donât itâs okay, I think that people and opportunities always come when you are ready for them, if they donât come or they donât go as you wanted, itâs because it was not the right time. I trust this a lot.
11. Looking back at your turning point, what have you learnt from it?
I learned so much, so much that I don't wish that hadn't happened to me. Iâm glad it did because it made me grow, it made me a stronger human being, it made me unstoppable. I learned that there is nothing more volatile than people. I learned that you canât put your life and happiness in the hands of others. I learned that you have to be grateful for whatever comes to you, for everything you have, for your family, for your real friends. I learned not to give credit to negative people nor let them bring me down. But most of all, I learned to love myself and believe in myself at 100%, and this is priceless.
12. How do you define success?
I donât believe that success is achieving your goal, I believe that success is how much you expand in the process, and if it makes you really happy, then you are successful. Most people arenât happy in my industry because success brings a lot of exposure, that leads to judgments, and not a lot of models are ready to deal with that so I think that if you canât handle being talked about, lied to and disliked, then youâre not ready to be successful in any business. Life is too short to waste any time wondering what other people think about you.
In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldnât have the time to sit around and talk about you. Whatâs important to me is not others opinions of me, but my opinion of myself. My advice is for you to develop a strong opinion about yourself so that you donât accidentally start believing what others say about you.
13. What is your vision of the fashion world and the way it has shaped you?
I think that the fashion industry is already changing for better. They donât ask for anorexic girls anymore, or at least not as often as before, they gave plus models a place in the industry, they start to value âreal womenâ, and everyday I see the industry becoming more ârealisticâ, but of course they have much more to do!
Iâm not expecting to change the fashion world, I used to say âI donât made the game, I just play itâ and this is true.
If I want to be a model, I have to be skinny, I have to take care of my skin, of my body, I have to go to commercial board at an agency because fashion board is for tall women (which for industry is above 175cm), so I canât do catwalk because they see me as âtoo shortâ for it.
Now you can ask me: You do all of that because you want to be a model? And my answer is: No. I do all of that because I already did it before I became a model. I always loved the skinny type and worked for it even when people said that âbig booty and strong legs rule", I always loved to take care of my skin and my body. I don't like to do catwalks so I donât really mind that the industry doesnât let me to, unless itâs Victoriaâs Secret, every girl dreams about it right? Itâs magical! So for me itâs cool, I donât change my self to be a model, but what I constantly see is girls changing herselves to fit the industry and a lot of times they get sick, they start to consume drugs, they do everything to enter to this world but whatâs the point of being anything if it costs your peace? Your dignity? Your health? I think in that case, itâs too expensive.
I wish that people loved themselves more because if they did, they wouldn't allow a lot of situations, they wouldnât put themselves in bad places so often and they would value their dignity, which is something that unfortunately is underrated nowadays. I personally lost a lot of opportunities because I preferred to stick with my values and dignity than getting that one job ⊠but I donât see that in others, Iâve seen pacts with the devil so many times âŠ
15. Through your work, which overall message do you want to pass on to others?
I think that one of the best advices I can give to people is to be the type of person that they would want to meet. Energy is all about reciprocation, if you have positive energy you attract positive things and people. Be kind, but be truly kind, because nowadays everyone claims to be a kind person just because they do something for someone, but if youâre helping someone and expecting something in return, youâre doing business, not kindness.
16. In one sentence in Portuguese, what is your personal slogan and what does it mean to you?
Itâs quite difficult to choose just one but I will choose the first that came to my mind and the one I tell people more often: âTu nĂŁo vĂȘs o mundo como ele Ă©, tu vĂȘs o mundo como tu Ă©sâ, in english it means something like this âYou donât see the world as it is, you see the world as you areâ. That quote means a lot to me, because when I started to love myself 100% and be grateful, the world changed in front of my eyes, became more incredible, more magical, more positive. The way you see yourself is the very first step for the way you see others, and this is powerfulâ.
Photo by Christopher Brown (Studios)
Over the last few nights, I had the honor of staying at the fantastic Palacio Belmonte while in Lisbon, Portugal.
Overlooking the tile roofs and the Tagus river.
Sleeping in one of the top ten most luxurious suites in the worlds and certainly the most exclusive private guest house Iâve stepped into.
Arriving on the premises right after a superstar singer and leaving just before an awarded actor.
It was a surreal experience, to say the least.
The cheeky and approachable owner, Frederic Coustols, welcomed us and I quickly got interested in knowing him more.
Frederic is someone whoâd rather read a good book and have a one on one conversation than attending mundane dinners.
âAll that is not given is lostâ
â Frederic Coustols, landscape collector
Heâd rather share his home with guests, than owning an immense property alone and looking through the window.
He mingles with people from all walks of life, smoking cigars with a world-renowned artist in the morning, and talking about life with passers-by in the afternoon. Itâs about human connections.
Heâs seen both sides of the coin. Making his way up to becoming a multi-millionaire, losing it all and back again, he understood that happiness is within. And in accepting ourselves for who we are, and others.
Taking action by focusing mainly on vernacular architecture (a style that reflects local traditions) and starting ecological initiatives of environmental restorative projects rather than sitting still and watching the capitalist and consumerist model destroy the planet.
Fredericâs project, DaST, Develop a Sustainable Tomorrow: http://designasustainabletomorrow.com/about-dast/
The DaST projects value the relationship and connection with the local landscape, architectural history, traditional activities and social habits, introducing a new sustainable and contemporary way of life.
Find you way in the episode:
1.30 - Finding harmony in architecture, preserving its beauty and quality
3.30 - Happiness has nothing to do with money, still we want more
9.00 - The happiest people donât travel
12.00 - From âmy houseâ to the house of many
14.00 - Dream your life rather than living it & be lazy to succeed
19.00 - All that is not given is lost
I met GisĂšle Lubsen at her art gallery in Los Angeles.
She is a Conceptual Underwater Photographer who noticed that the combo of both water and photography can help people go through traumas and in general boost confidence by overcoming challenges.
Magic takes place.
In this podcast, we discussed how she applies her inspiration of Renaissance painters into her photography, and the emotional process that her models go through as they spend seconds or minutes without breathing to do the shoot, from fear to excitement, pride and sometimes healing.
âNever Lose Your Iâ
â Gisele Lubsen, Underwater Photographer
Find your way in the episode:
1:30 - Finding inspiration at the Louvres
4:00 - The 3 particularities of art:
- Be stunning
- Create emotions
- Have an empowering message
5:00 - Overcoming the lack or air to improve self-love & how underwater photography can heal and empower
10:00 - Turning your fears into excitement
15:00 - You stop doubting yourself once you know that youâre doing the job you are supposed to
I met Thomas at an art gallery.
When I mentioned that I specialized in portraits of people who had fought limitations, he suggested I'd write his story. And I wasn't prepared for what I'd hear.
"Let's say that the last couple of years have been intense since I moved to Los Angeles.
I'm originally from Atlanta, but I grew up in Austria since I was six years old. So when I moved back to the States as an adult, I almost felt like an immigrant in my own country.
I moved here with my Austrian girlfriend. Because of her immigration status, we took a leap of faith and married even though we didn't have a strong foundation.
âBe True to Yourselfâ
â Thomas, Bipolar & Superhuman
Just two hours after the wedding ceremony, I received a call from my future boss and accepted a corporate job.
Unfortunately, the stress of moving to a different continent without our social support system or job pushed us to our limits.
Soon after the wedding, my now ex-wife and I were both diagnosed with mental illnesses. I felt lonely in our marriage, there was little kindness, patience, or empathy. Neither of us felt safe in the relationship, and safety is the single most important aspect of mental health. After months of individual and couple's therapy, I eventually asked for a divorce.
Once again, timing: as I was going through the divorce, I got laid off.
At that point, the emotional pain became eventually too much to bear. My body shut down completely, and I had suicidal thoughts. It was like all my childhood trauma came to the surface at the same time. I have never experienced anything that intense before. I called the suicide hotline, hoping they could direct me to a free mental health facility where I could get emotional painkillers.
The person on the suicide hotline suggested I call 911.
Operator - "911 - what's your emergency."
Me - "Iâm in pain, I want it to stop..."
Operator - "What do you want to stop?! Whatâs your address?"
- "Wow, Jeeze. I lost my health insurance and was wondering if there was a free mental health facility I can go to now".
- "Let me see..., we have an alcohol clinic, tobacco addiction clinic..."
- "You know what, never mind, Iâm fineâ
I hung up and continued with my nap. The authorities called me multiple times and said that three police officers just wanted to check on me. I eventually gave them my address.
As I opened the door to three police officers, I felt threatened and knew that from then own I had no rights. They were talking at the same time and their body cameras were beeping, which was annoying as hell. I was also supposed to take my bipolar II medication, but they wouldn't let me, because it was against protocol. It felt like torture.
I had just awoken from a dream state and felt threatened, irritated and embarrassed as they handcuffed me and took me to a police station for further evaluation. I felt like I was being punished for having suicidal thoughts and calling 911 for help. I was sitting in a cell, arms uncomfortably handcuffed behind my back, with a smile on my face and while chanting "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo".
Finally, I was transported to a mental health urgent care facility.
The officers apologized for putting me in handcuffs and stated that not everyone was as nice and collected like me, but that they had to follow protocol without exceptions. They then expected me to sleep in a couch chair in front of the TV that was airing replays of the mass shootings in Florida, only interrupted by loud commercials.
I couldn't help to be humored by the irony of the situation.
I was finally allowed to take my medication, which make the situation slightly easier to handle.
The next day, after talking to a psychiatrist, I was rushed out the door because "it wasn't safe for me to stay there any longer". The whole experience was so awful, it was hilarious. I had no idea where I was, but I was fine. I thought, if I can survive the torture of going through the system during an emotional breakdown, I can handle anything.
Now, I'm grateful I had this challenging experience.
After that day, I stopped my prescription medication. I didnât want to be dependent on it anymore and instead rely on a holistic approach without medication:
- healthy diet,
- loving supporting environment,
- surfing, yoga,
- spirituality,
- and time in nature.
I started to see the beauty in my bipolar disorder (or as Kayne West calls it, my âsuperpowerâ): I realized I could deal with intense and uncomfortable emotions and had the courage to face my demons. We live in a polarized world, and I have the bipolar ability.
I rediscovered who I was without limitations, parts of me I hadnât explored in a long time.
This emotional breakdown was a spiritual awakening for me, a wake-up call to live my own truth and stop playing along to other's rules.
I realized that if I am not true to myself, life keeps reminding me, first slightly and gradually with a slap in the face.
Eventually, I got knocked out with what felt like a sledgehammer to the chest.
Now, for the first time in my life, Iâm not playing a role. I live my authentic truth. I feel like Iâm liberated from fear, not led by it and I hope that my story will inspire other people with "mental illness" to see the beauty and strength in it.
Embrace what is! Ask yourself, why is it here? What can I learn from it?
Healing happens when there is acceptance without judgment.
Dans cet épisode, j'ai interviewé Hanine Mhannd, le créateur de Goodbye Comfort Zone, un programme de coaching pour vous aider à voir la vie comme un jeu et à atteindre votre plein potentiel à travers des défis quotidiens et à l'aide de techniques de gamification.
Hanine a commencĂ© 2017 en se donnant un nouveau dĂ©fi pour un an, comme arrĂȘter le sucre, mĂ©diter, sauter en parachute ou serrer la main d'un Ă©tranger, dans l'espoir de devenir progressivement plus confiant, efficace, plus sain, etc.
Dans cette interview, il partage son histoire avec moi sur ce qui l'a amenĂ© Ă passer d'un extrĂȘme Ă l'autre et Ă transformer complĂštement sa vie en une aventure passionnante, comment il est passĂ© de presque mettre fin Ă sa vie Ă saisir le taureau par les cornes et faire face Ă la peur pour atteindre des niveaux plus Ă©levĂ©s, comme dans un jeu.
Voici les 3 meilleurs conseils de Hanine pour arrĂȘter de tergiverser et sortir de notre zone de confort:
- Ajoutez des stimuli externes pour mesurer votre progression, par exemple en annonçant vos objectifs publiquement
- Ajoutez du danger et de l'excitation, par exemple, tirez vos activités quotidiennes d'un chapeau
- Entourez-vous de mentors, de mentorĂ©s et de personnes au mĂȘme niveau que vous et avec le mĂȘme objectif
à votre tour de vous mettre au défi et de devenir le héro de votre propre vie!
- Lien vers le jeu GOODBYE COMFORT ZONE HEROES avec 20% de réduction:
http://bit.ly/GoodbyeComfortZone_LIVESDISRUPTED
Code LIVESDISRUPTED * Lien vers le livre Goodbye Comfort Zone:
https://amzn.to/35X2je0
Seeing Life as a Game can Help You Get Outside of Your Comfort ZoneIn this episode, I've interviewed Hanine Mhannd, the creator of Goodbye Comfort Zone, a blog and app to help you see life as a game and reach your your highest potential through daily challenges and with the help of gamification techniques.
Hanine started 2017 by giving himself a new challenge for a year, such as stopping sugar, meditating, skydiving or shaking strangerâs hands, in the hope of becoming gradually more confident, efficient, healthier, etc.
In this interview, he shares his story with us on what led him to go from one extreme to another and completely transform his life into an exciting adventure, how he went from almost giving up on life to grabbing the bull by the horns and facing fear to reach higher levels, like in a game. Hanine is now a conference speaker on the topic of Comfort Zone.
Here are Hanineâs top 3 tips to stop procrastinating and stepping outside of our comfort zone:
- Add external stimuli to measure your advancement, for example by announcing your goals publicly
- Add hazard and excitement, for instance draw your daily activities from a hat
- Surround yourself with mentors, mentees and people at the same level as you and with the same objective
__________
- Link to Hanine's GOODBYE COMFORT ZONE HEROES game with 20% off discount (French) :
http://bit.ly/GoodbyeComfortZone_LIVESDISRUPTED
Code LIVESDISRUPTED * Link to the book Goodbye Comfort Zone (French):
https://amzn.to/35X2je0
Here is a tiny episode of my evening at Lilleâs flea market - enormous event here in the North of France.
I met a stranger who introduced me to his concept: starting a chain of hugs in a huge crowd to promote love, would you take part in it? Comment below.
Such a simple but powerful idea!
Estimated reading time: 5'
At my last job, we used to have this LED sign that said "Get shit donel".
If there's one guy that would fit most that description, I'd say it's my former co-worker Victor, who I had originally met in NYC.
He was in his twenties and he is an executive, with over 30 people under him.
He was incredibly dedicated, he worked really hard and when he taught you something, he was crystal clear and left no room for misunderstandings.
You always saw him running everywhere in the office, and you better plan ahead if you want to set up a meeting because his days are fully booked to the minute.
Of course, it raised my eyebrow.
"Back in New York, I was always really good at school, inspired by my very busy and successful dad.
I always had shit to do, and that's where I got my work ethic from.
A typical day for me between 14 and 18 was: waking up at 4 AM, going to practice till 6, going to a different practice till 7.30, coming back home, making my sister breakfast, packing her lunch, taking her to school, going to school from 8 to 3, then going home, checking my sisters homework, making dinner, going back to practice, coming home, putting her to sleep, finishing my homework at midnight, then getting up at 4 AM to do it all over again.
At 21, I became the Founder and COO of an organic ice-cream shop.
I had studied Management, Finance & Marketing so my co-founders who did not go to school relied on me to create the revenue model, the business plan, organise events, deal with suppliers, vendors and distributors...
I had to do all of this myself while studying full-time, and when I did not know certain things that they don't teach you at school, like negotiating a distribution deal, I had no choice but to get on the phone and work it out.
Also in business, you gotta be quick. It's not school anymore, you don't have all the time in the world to Google around, or ask your classmates for help. if you're not fast, you're potentially losing thousands of dollars every day.
I was trying my best but I was young, inexperienced, and did not get any help, so we ended up losing all of our original investment.
I then started another business in the food industry with three of my best friends.
Same situation, they relied on me for every single thing, but that time, I knew exactly what I was doing and had make clear and reliable financial projections.
Thing is, after a year, we still weren't making any money and my co-founders lost patience and refused to stick to the original plan, which was to wait another couple months and see the results come to life.
They did not understand the numbers, they did not get the point of investing in marketing and operations, and because my previous business had failed, they were scared to see the same thing happen before their eyes and their savings go up in smoke. On top of that, they were coming from a low-income neighborhood and this was basically their only chance to have a better future, so they decided to fire me. My own best friends.
I did not want to go through that hell and mediate with lawyers. I had to pay back my salary and worse, completely disassociate with the company.
My name was erased from every single piece of paperwork, my face was scratched off the pictures, etc, when I'm the one who made every single business decision. From the color of the sofa to the items on the menu, that are by the way still unchanged today.
Years later, after following my business plan and projections to the letter, the business turned to be a success and my old friends and partners admitted their fault. We reconciled and they sent me a check with the money I had to pay back. I really needed it at the time, but I ripped it apart.
They still call me every once in a while for business advice, and we hang out..."
Surprised, I teased him about his calm and mature reaction.
"I am not mad. i have a lot of emotions, but I am not easily mad.
Growing up, my mum used to teach me to breath and calm down before making judgments or decisions in the heat of the moment. I learnt to put my ego aside, move on and not carry bitterness around.
My friends got my back two hundred times, but when there was 6-figures of money involved, they turned their back at me, that's completely understandable. I forgave them, even though I always want them to remember what they did.
In the book The Art of War, Lao Tzu says that if you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.
Thinking about the past is a waste of time and energy. I like to figure out what I've learned from tough moments but I don't need to know why. I just care that I'm doing the right thing."
Interesting. I ask what he means by "the right thing".
"The biggest learnings that I've made sure to implement since then, were that:
1. I have to separate business and friendship. When I talk business I care about the money.
2. I cannot do everything by myself. I need a team, and a team that's involved.
3. Transparency is key: you show your team how you do things, they understand it and you can move on. i always make sure to communicate.
4. It is about the journey, I have learned so much, grown so much, and despite rough times, my life had evolved so much since then, and turned into a blessing. So I am thankful for everything.
5. When something really bad (major) happens to me, say I get dumped by a girlfriend or fired from a job for example, I use the first 24, next 24, next 24 rule:
During the first 24 hours, after my raw emotions come out, I reflect on my mistakes, my learnings, what I have to do to move on, my biggest takeaways, and then I don't think about it again for the next 24 days, then I do the same thing 24 months later!"
A week later, something major happened against my will and I had to put that saying into practice.
âAre you ready to try to first 24 - next 24 - next 24 rule, let go of your grudges and live in the moment?â
Find your way in the episode:
01:00 Emotions are the key to content
02:00 Working for a startup is not all rainbows and sunshine
07:00 The importance of genuine connections: relationship businesses rather than transaction-based
10:00 Peace, love and purpose
14: Leaders are not invincible, they just internalize fear better
Reading time: 2â
âIâm addicted to fear. People think leaders are invincible but the truth is, we have the same emotions as everyone else, we just process them betterâ.
Josh Fechter is without a doubt one of my inspirations as a founder.
You rarely see people as passionate as him about their business.
He does work incredibly hard, like most founders, constantly finding innovative solutions to disrupt the marketing industry, but what always stroke me is that he cares about people more than he does about cash.
The three words âPeace, Love and Purposeâ, tattooed on his arm as a reminder of what guides him, lead the way to both his personal and professional decisions and I believe that the value he attaches to ethics stands behind his success.
By success, I could refer to the societal definition of success, stamped by multiple awards for his marketing, content & growth hacking expertise (Top Quora Writer , Forbeâs 12 Innovative Founders To Watch And Learn From, Maximâs Top B2B marketing influencer, etc).
But I wonât.
Thatâs not what we discussed in the podcast.
Iâm interested in the less talked about, nonetheless crucial definition of success which is, in my opinion: building strong and genuine human connections.
Josh Fechter has now formed a winning duet with his partner Houston Golden and co-founded together the âBadass Marketers & Founders Mediaâ agency and of its associated Facebook community of 20 000+ people .
His secret to other entrepreneurs?
âFeel the fear and take the first steps anywaysâ.
- When you choose to keep hustling despite facing rejection and realizing that having a startup isnât all just rainbows and sunshinesâŠ
- When you keep going because youâre led by your heartâŠ
- When you wake up in the morning excited because youâre making a true impact in peopleâs lives and businessesâŠ
That is, the real definition of success.
Whatâs yours?
Do you use your emotions as tools in business or do you shut them down?
Turns out I was living with Chase Keith's sisters during my stay in Venice, earlier this year.
Chase is hilarious and cute & I have to say I'm pretty impressed at how quickly he managed to build his success online, gathering over 2 million subscribers across different platforms in just a few years and at only 15.
I grabbed him for a quick chat as he came over, and asked him how he became an influencer, what kickstarted his career and what continually drives him to be so active on social media...
Watch now!
Back in my hometown, Dunkerque, France, I've followed an animal activist to a march and asked her why she chose to fight against animal exploitations. Come along!
last week, I followed strangers to the music festival "Mystery Land" in Amsterdam and gave myself a couple challenges to spice up the adventure... From sneaking in to secret areas of the festival, to trying weed burgers and asking strangers which quote they live by... Watch now!
Reading time: 2'
Olivier's tattoo of a split apart ladybug called out to me.
"There's a French saying that I find ridiculous. Basically if a ladybug appears on your arm, you're supposed to blow on it, make a wish and it will fly to the skies and ask God to make it come true.
That ladybug, I crush it.
I don't believe in that bullshit. I don't wait around and pray.
You know what, generally speaking anyways, people bury their heads in the sand and it revolts me. They pray for Paris, they pray for the temperature not to rise too much, they pray for Trump not to mess up.
Crowds scare me. They are being TOLD that they eat shit, do a shitty job, have a shitty life all day long, and they do not give a fuck, myself included.
Do you know this quote from Gary D. Schmidt in the movie "La Haine"? It's the story of a man falling from a 50-story building. The guy, as he falls, repeats constantly to reassure himself: "So far so good. .. So far, so good. .. So far, so good..."
But the important part is not the fall. It's the landing.
This sentence sums up pretty well the global warming and all that mess.
"Temperature is rising but as long as I still have beers in the fridge and there's steak in the supermarket, so far so good". They pretend to try and make a difference, eat vegetarian, ecological. But take a look at the menu here (NB: we're sitting in a restaurant) - half of it comes from he other side of the world, packed up. Do you thing that quinoa is grown in France?!
I watched the documentary "Manufacturing Consent" the other day, about Edward Bernays. He turned the word "propaganda" into "PR" and invented the current American consumerist system. One day he was like "let's make people buy by desire rather than by need. He started promoting cigarettes to women by calling them torches of freedom. He never hid anything nor felt like he was doing anything immoral.
There's also this book from Gustave le Bon, "The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind", that explains crowd behavior. There's no conspiracy theory and we are not taken for fools. We are taken for who we are. Everything is exposed and the information is out there.
I believe that one way to sort this out is through education. My dad always taught me that if you look at something that appears flat, tilt your head and it might appear in 3-D. But real life nowadays is about putting food on the table, not chitchatting philosophy or questioning reality. School nowadays is TV and internet.
I'm not mad at the system because they'd be wrong not to offer things that people are willing to buy.
I'm mad at citizens.
I blame people for not doing their research nor taking meaningful actions and pretending to give a fuck. They complain about politics, ecology, employment rates and keep eating strawberries all year long and acting the same way, hoping for a different result.
I'm not going to take part in this mockery anymore.
I'll keep drinking, I'll keep smoking and I'll keep complaining but I found one way to contribute.
I care about waste and Iâve decided to act. So me and my girlfriend have decided to start dumpster-diving. In one night we collect food for the both of us for weeks. Thatâs one step. On a larger-scale, we are talking about tons of food wasted multiplied by supermarkets and by countries.
What do you REALLY give a fuck about and what do you do about it?
Find your way in the episode:
00:00 Having an entrepreneurial mindset and the point of skipping college
05:00 Cultural shock in Los Angeles in the music industry and Instagram Vs real-life
07:00 The lucid dream that kickstarted the dream life
10:00 Dealing with haters and the shit that life hands you
13:00 What's your why? Tell yourself a hundred times a day and you'll remain motivated
14:00 Unconditional love
16:00 This luxurious life you want is more attainable that you think
I met Jordan at a cacao ceremony in LA, a couple weeks back (random, you say). He's the type of guy that you simply get attracted to like a magnet. He has the biggest smile and the most positive mindset you'll know.
Proof is in his art: see, he is a rapper. But. He doesn't drop guns, BMWs and pussies in his beats. He rhymes about dreams, self-love, hard work and hustle. He makes music for entrepreneurs.
If you're anything like me and follow people like Gary V, Tim Ferris and others, you know the mindset.
I interviewed him about his secret sauce for putting everything behind to follow his creative career, moving to LA and saying hell no to the classic Ivy League - white collar - white fence life.
I met Tatiana at a women-only networking event in LA.
We instantly vibed as she also is a big believer of female empowerment.
What she taught me however; was that there's a pretty common misconception of the definition of a successful career among us ladies : indeed; the path is very much different for each gender, and copying males can very much lead to unfulfilment; feeling the need to constantly prove ourselves, or being perceived as a bitch.
Rather; she taught me the importance of embracing who we truly are, taking into account our specific gifts from nature and embracing our differences: Listen to her story and how she came to those realisations after having hit the wall herself.
Sum-up of the episode:
-
Feminine Vs Masculine energy
-
Embracing your gender-specific power or taking it away from yourself
-
Achieving the society-defined success but hitting the wall at a Tony Robbin's event
-
Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure
-
Western women will heal the world
-
How copying men can turn you into a bitch
-
The right way to use your guns as an attractive woman
Reading time: 1'
Tatiana's website
(Reading time: 1,5')
I met Rob after hearing about his captivating story on a podcast.
He had embarked on a journey to meet 10 000 people and was staying in Long Beach and swinging by LA pretty often. Great timing.
We decided to meet up in a coffee place and chat, I was number 1900 on his list. When I arrived, he had an enormous smile and sparkly eyes, as if we had met before.
âI was raised in a tight knit family in Norristown, Pennsylvania, right outside Philly. Itâs a small town where everyone knows everyone. I also had a great group of friends in college, so Iâve always enjoyed human connections. Therefore, when I started traveling, it was missing having friendly faces around.
I thought: 'how fun would it be if I knew people everywhere Iâd go? Having a place to stay at, someone to show me around, or just be able to walk around and saying hi to people on the street. Feeling home. Feeling connected?'
So I decided to expand my circle of friends. I set the goal of meeting 10 000 people for an hour each, to get to know them. I started 3 years ago, back when I was still working full-time. Iâd meet strangers in the evenings and on the weekendsâ.
I asked why he was so enticed to meeting strangers when other people had rather maintaining a close circle of friends, focusing on tight bonds rather than quantity.
âI think it's difficult to create a set definition for friendship because there are different levels of friendship. For the purpose of my project, I simply define it as treating each other like old pals for the hour that we're together and leaving the door open to become better friends in the future.
I spend an hour one-o-one quality conversation getting to know them, not preparing anything, not following a guideline, not asking pre-determined questions. I like the concept of being surprised by peopleâs personalities and lifestyles.
I try and maintain bounds with all of them and naturally relationships can evolve into closer friends, business or even romantic relationships, who knows! I leave it to faith and go with the flowâ.
I asked if he had any plans on monetizing his project.
âI do not set any expectation nor have a strategy for the moment. I just want to spend genuine quality time with people and see where it leads. I am confident that this project will keep expanding and that Iâll be able to start traveling and do this for a living within a couple months.
I trust that things will work out because I know that I am on the right path. Iâm not worried for the future, I stay positive as I know thereâs always a solution to anything.
In fact, the motto I live by is: 'the end is never this end'â.
Reading time: 30 sec
I heard about Perry for the first time while listening to one of my friend's podcasts.
He was talking about his 10-week long traveling across the States in an RV with friends, Traveling Good, creating video content and promoting non-profit organisations, a pretty badass initiative.
Turns out he comes from a small farm town and his first trip to California and then outside of the country has turned his life around and his curses into blessings.
He now is a filmmaker and storyteller and aims at exploring under-developed countries and ask indigenous people questions about their lifestyles to make us reflect on society, happiness, culture and all the choices that we make. Listen up!
Find your way in the episode:
00:40 Finding his first camera & messing around
03:00 Pivotal moments & going oneâs own way
05:40 How traveling puts things in perspective
07:00 The secret sauce of taking risks
09:40 Your curse is your gift
16:00 Doing things for money or following your heart?
I've written a bunch of articles on the topics of "Speaking Up" and realized that it can be difficult to know where to start. Especially when you have felt disrespected, have not been able to react on the spot and keep thinking about it.
The other day, my girlfriend came up with a hilarious & witty concept.
The Queen's Letters.
The concept is simple: when you want to set someone straight, whether a lover, a friend, a colleague or literally anyone who recently messed with you, you prepare a queen's letter. Forget about ghosting.
Here is the template.
- Example 1: X makes promises to do business together but never follows up.
1. Start with kind words that you really mean:
Hey X, I hope that you are well. I really value you as a ... & am looking forward to ... project.
2. Say it straight out:
But I'm writing to you to inform you that in order to build a professional relationship with me, I require trustworthiness and reliability. You have not followed up on the project several times so am kindly asking you to only promise what you can execute on.
3. Warning (optional)
If you can't come to terms with this, we won't be able to work together.
4. Add something gentle & close:
If you're still in, please let me know if we can finally set a straight date for our meeting. Take care, talk soon
_________________
- Example 2: X tells his friends that you're hitting on him.
1. Start with kind words that you really mean (the shit sandwich):
"Hey X, hope you're well, just to clarify things: you're a great friend and I consider you as being part of my close circle of people that I respect and trust.
2. Say it straight out:
But I am 0% attracted to you and never have been / will be.
3. Add something gentle & close:
Sorry if you misunderstood my behavior. If you have any question, feel free to reach out to me directly, thanks!"
_______________________
- Example 3: X is dating you but has been disrespectful on various occasion
1. Start with kind words that you really mean (the shit sandwich):
"Hey X, you know I really like you.
2. Say it straight out (mention what happened if need be, sometimes guys don't realize consequences of what they say/do):
I was thinking about what happened earlier today & you have crossed the line with insensitive behavior. In order to be with me, I require positive language/attitude moving forward".
3. Add something gentle & close:
Call me if you want to talk more.
Note: the amount of gentle Vs straightforward words really depends on your communication style.
VoilĂ !
Queen's letters do the job.
We've cleared the air and set our personal and professional boundaries various times using this technique. Surround yourself with people who respect you and care about you.
Try it out and let me know how it went in the comments below ;)
If I ran away... Would you catch me?
Would you hold on to what we commenced?
Would you take my hand to explore what the world wants us to see?
Would you let your soul expand from new perspectives & your body shudder under my breath?
Would you let me take you to the steepest mountain, the darkest forest, the gleamiest sea?
Would you let my passion devour you endlessly?
Would you become the person you were afraid to be?
Or would you let me go?
Pretending that put a shell on a long time ago.
Pretending that you never felt anything more than lust.
Pretending that it was impossible between us?
Reading time: 3 min.
I met Dimitri at a spa in Iceland.
I was hanging by the outdoor ice bath after having quickly jumped in âfor the challengeâ, basically swiftly soaking my body, screaming (does that count)?
I was stunned at how some Icelandic could walk in there peacefully and hang in there for long minutes, looking concentrated though relaxed, as if in a meditative space. 4 celcius degrees, gents.
Anyways, Dimitri shows up and does the show. Heâs from Latvia so heâs used to cold waters, no big deal. I take a picture. He asks me to join. Holds my hands and tell me to breathe slowly. I feel like I canât, it feels stuck as if an invisible hand was strangling me.
âFocus on your breathing, take it easy. Youâll see that after 30 seconds it will already get warmer, if you stop movingâ.
I chat with other people taking part in this. They have various reasons to be doing it: heal their body after a good workout, improve their blood circulation, prepare for a race in the sea. There are other methods too, the popular one, cryotherapy, or a simple roll in the snow, finish-style.
On his side, Dimitri doesnât see it as a torture, rather, a pleasant moment.
âBelieve it or not, Iâm really enjoying this.In the winter, I dig a hole in the lakes and jump in. A few times, the hole shut on top of me and I had to break it with my head.
Why am I doing this? Well, for me, it is a way to purify my body. To release the stress. You see... Water holds information. Emotions. That can penetrate you and affect you.
Once, I prepared my rice cooking water in three different ways. One, by talking shit to the water. The rice turned brown. The other, I said words of love and encouragement to it. The rice turned melts and delicious. For the third one, nothing special, and the rice was basicâ.
It gets me thinking. We are made of 70% water, and I recently heard of this new brand, âlove waterâ, that carries the same message.
âIâve lived in Latvia, Lithuania, Bielorussia, Denmark... Never have I seen people as peaceful as the Icelandic. And they have the purest water. I believe that there is a link.
The two most important things we need in life are air and water. Donât you want it to be as clean as possible?â
I recall my conversation with a pilot in the morning when he said: âIâm not allowed to discuss chem trailsâ.
Dimitri continues: âSo when I enter an ice bath, first I make sure that thereâs no chemicals in it. Second, I set an intention to block any negative energy from potential previous bathers, and I chose to give it positive vibes.
I am telling you. Water holds information. It can give you energy. Affect your emotions, You can use it to manipulate yourself and others. When you cook, when you dip in the water, when you drink. Always set positive intentions. Now you know the secretâ.
After this conversation, I entered the ice bath a third time. It felt 10x smoother. It didnât feel quite as painful nor âbreathtakingâ and I could fight through it for longer. Focusing on the positive effects of it rather that the pain.
Pulling through.
Estimated reading time: 1'
I met Gitele in my friend's house in the Hamptons. Which turned out to be a swingers house... But that's a story for another day.
She was stunningly beautiful and extrovert.
She kept observing and analyzing me, wanting me to get out of my shell in social environments.
"I was born and raised in NYC, but my origins are Russian, she said.
At home, my parents always made a point to preserve our culture so we'd speak, eate and breath Russian.
When I was small, my mum would pack my lunch bag for school with traditional Russian food such as Borscht or Golubtsy, but since all my schoolmates were American, they used to make fun of me and tease me for eating differently than them.
So after a while, I'd throw my food away on my way to school and at the cafeteria and because I had no other food, I'd sneak under the table and pick up the fries that had fallen down to the floor. My brother used to do the same thing and we quickly ended up getting caught.
I realized that I couldn't go on like that and slowly learnt to embrace my uniqueness, despite my crave for fitting in.
I am a major Kardashian fan and yes, when I go out, I do like to wear extensions, colored lenses and a lot of makeup.But during daytime, you'll see we with savage hair, glasses on and a jumpsuit. And that's okay.I know some girls who'd workout or go to the pool with a plastered face and for me that's a sign of insecurity.
It used to be me too, though. I worked hard on building my self-confidence. I am proud of saying that I am Russian, and I am more confident in my personality. I am slowly starting to express my artistic side through painting and sculpting and already have a 5 figure bid for one picture.
I am convinced that if you let your true self shine and 100% BELIEVE in yourself, you will achieve success. if you pretend to be someone else, are your friends really your friends? If I ask you what your greatest skill is and your answer hesitantly, would anyone invest in you?"
One day, as I was discussing how dog-friendly California is, with a friend in San Francisco, he told me about the dog he used to have and his "out of the ordinary" behaviour, to say the least.
"My parents had me quite late, in their early 40âs, especially by the standards 30 years ago.
At the time of my arrival, my sister had a Doberman, Rhett, named after a character from the movie âGone with the windâ. Naturally he became a family dog that grew attached to my parents, who took care of him the most.
By the time I was born he became very jealous of me, a newborn in the house getting all of the attention...
Doberman are very territorial and a lot of them have neurotic tendencies, and this one was no exception. He started to display growing frustration and hostility towards me. He began to lash out at my parents as well when they would attend to me. It went as far as blocking the doorway to my bedroom not letting anyone attend to my cries.
I know this might sound crazy but I think me crying in my crib and keeping everyone away from me he was perhaps hoping I would die...
Rhett was a very smart dog. One summer he stayed at my grandma's house. He woke her up in the night tugging away at her to get her attention. When she got up she discovered there was a gas leak from the stove. He saved her life that night.
In the meantime, his behaviour towards me was escalating out of control so my parents ended up tragically giving him away to our close family friends. This way they could visit him frequently yet I wouldnât be exposed to him.
Even now Itâs hard to imagine that my existence meant his separation.As years went by when we'd visit Rhett, Iâd try to pet him and every time he would get irritated shaking me off instantly. I didnât know why this dog would reject me when all I wanted was to hug and pet him.
It took me many years to understand his behaviour and feelings towards me but when I understood the context explaining his behavior, I stopped blaming myself, rather got impressed at his intellectual capabilities".
Funny how we automatically question ourselves and feel responsible when somebody (whether dog or human by the way ;)) displays hostility towards us.
Often, the vibe just isn't there, but quite as often, it's a matter of jealousy..
âThink about it, when somebody tries to put you down, instead of questioning yourself - what do you have that they donât?â
Estimated reading time: 2'30
As I was visiting LA for interviews, I caught up with a friend who had just directed his own short film.
We chatted about his passion for movies.
- "I have always been interested in the movie industry, but originally on a superficial level. I did a couple plays in high school, and one day a friend introduced to a photographer who took some model shots of me, which led me to job opportunities. He was showing the pictures to agents who would say "Who's that guy?'. It was a snowball effect, that contact led me to participating in dating shows, commercials, a telenovela... Until I acted in a movie. I realised this was what I wanted to do with my life.
At that time, I was 29, about to turn 30, and felt that I was drowning, back in Miami. When I decided to leave for good, my girlfriend wouldn't believe it because I was talking about it for so long, and she had been holding me back. But I did not have the patience to wait for her to follow me anymore, so I packed everything and drove away.
At first I was naive, shy and not acclimated to the Californian culture. I did not have this laid-back mentality as I came from Miami where people have the latino blood. I did not know anyone and did not know about the bar diving culture as a way to meet people. One friend introduced me to it, and from then on, I created my network, which led me to more opportunities, by word-of-mouth.
I started to take things more seriously and work towards my goal: I took acting classes, got myself an agent and decided to move to Hollywood. But it wasn't it. I did commercials for 10 years, and nothing major happened,
I wasn't focused. I wasn't trying hard enough.
So as things evolved and as I started to believe in myself more and try harder, I got into a couple more movies and music videos, first as an extra, and then as small parts. Now, just like Ben Affleck and Matt Damond did, I've decided to take it to another level and show Casting Directors a product. So I drafted my own script, and teamed-up with friends to do a short film, in which I could display different facettes of my acting skills.
I truly believe that everything in life happens when it is supposed to. There is a domino effect. I worked in a certain bar, met certain people etc, which led me to where I am now. I still have a long way to go, but if you had told me that I would be an actor in Hollywood when I was 18, I would have thought you were crazy.
There is an expression saying that if you keep looking at the sky, you won't see obstacles. My dream is to have an Oscar, and that's what I keep in mind everyday. I won't give up, no matter difficulties, and no matter the time it will take, until I finally hold it in my hands".
There are few guerrilla street art projects that can catch your attention and trigger emotions in you like Catcalls of NYC does. Just imagine walking down the street and reading the sentence "come blow me" or "I deserve to touch that ass" in rainbow colors under your feet... Impossible to remain impassive.
Sophie Sandberg started chalking pavements in New York shortly after puberty, when realizing that not only men were catcalling her on a regular basis despite her young age, 15, but that passersby weren't paying attention to it.
She decided to dedicate her studies and past time learning about gender equity and raising awareness on sexual harassment, in the hope of empowering both victims and witnesses to speak up.
Listen to her inspiring story and share your experience of sexual harassment in the comments below.
Find your way in the episode:
1:00: How the project started
2:00: Compliments or harassment?
4:00: Feeling powerful by making someone feel uncomfortable
4:50: The #metoo movement
6:00 Tips to learn to speak up
8:00: Why women should be empowered
Facebook page of CatcallsofNYC
Instagram page of CatcallsofNYC
Iâve always been passionate. It might be due to my French roots.
In love, I used to fall deep. Iâd start doodling or writing poems when Iâd have a guy on my mind.
In friendship, Iâd be fusional. I could spend the whole day with my best friend, workout with her, go grocery shopping, and then weâd call each other for another hour or two when weâd get home.
At school or work, I had to be the number one.
I could eat my favorite food until my tongue bled (thank you fizzy candies :)).
I would listen to my favorite song 20x a day until I get tired of it.
Basically, I could fall into obsession just as quickly as I could let go of it.
Once Iâd get bored by someone, disgusted by something or mastered a skill, it'd be game over.
Iâve always needed novelty in my life, felt the need to float from one experience to another.
Until I met that my first true love... A pure fairytale like a Romeo and Juliet story.
Different countries.
Different languages.
Different culture.
It was clearly impossible between us, but I was up for the challenge. I put all my focus on it.
He was the only thing that mattered and I lived of love alone.
He made me the happiest but quickly enough, that happiness became dependent on him.
I followed him to his country, put my dream of New York, my family and friends behind, signed the first contract I could get and started from scratch.
I started to neglect other parts of my life. To lose track of who I was.
Realized that love wasnât enough.
I searched for answers, I started to blame external things to explain my frustration. The culture wasnât warm enough. The weather wasnât hot enough, the boyfriends wasnât passionate enoughâŠ
One day, I bought a blue notebook.
Gave it the cheesy name of âRealizing projects and making dreams come trueâ.
I had to figure who I was. What I wanted. I was working in marketing and figured I had to redefine my brand, so to speak.
Transform my experience into learning. Focus and make a strategy, instead of consuming life, day after day, with no intention in mind. Map out my own essence.
I set goals. Relationship, health, career⊠Wrote fifty pages in just a few weeks.
Fast-forward to Mexico, where I did my first sound healing. Itâs a sort of lucid dream that brings all your unconscious to the surface.
The following day, I decided to let go of anything that did not align anymore with who I was.
Iâve now learnt to become self-sufficient. To be true to myself at all times, To speak with no filter. To put myself first. To recenter and listen to my heart. To be unapologetic. To not rely on others for happiness. To focus my time and energy on working towards my goals.
To be "I".
âHave you ever lost your âIâ?â
Estimated reading time: 1'
I had it all.
An amazing loving boyfriend.
An exciting and challenging job.
Great salary and perks.
A penthouse apartment in a fabulous city.
Supporting friends.
Evenings and weekends filled with exciting activities.
I had achieved everything I had been looking for.
But despite all that, something was missing and I didn't know what. I felt empty inside.
It was the 5th time I was moving to a new place, taking a new job, recreating a social life, hoping to find that missing piece.
I used to blame it on the weather. On other people. On anything that would take over my responsibility.
Mark Twain once said:
âThe two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.â
And then I understood.
I had not answered the most crucial question:" why am I here"?
So I started to reflect.
And two words kept popping in my head: People & Places.
Those are always the first things I do when I get some free time: meeting people and exploring places.
So I started my side hustles:
Learning everything I can on digital businesses.
Writing about people's stories and posting about cool spots around the world.
Inspiring others to be stronger, more adventurous, more open-minded.
I don't know where is it leading and I do not have a 5-years business plan quite yet.
But I'm working on it.
And I wake up every morning feeling a flush of happiness and excitement for the day to come, because I have a purpose.
And for me, that's the definition of happiness.
Reading time: 1'
If you have an account on social media, Instagram and Youtube in particular, you are likely to be following a couple of lifestyle influencers.
During my trip to Bali, Indonesia, the digital nomad Mecca, I had the chance of being introduced to the Youtube & travel influencer Riley Bennett by a common friend who had moved there from San Francisco.
We most often see the picture-perfect dreamy side of the digital nomade journey, but rarely get to know how to concretely get there and how the path looks like, from dreaming away to creating a successful and sustainable lifestyle as a traveler.
Riley kickstarted his journey after having a revelation when visiting a friend in Thailand, on his first trip outside the country. Seattle or the tropical life? The decision to move there was easy.
Find out how he made it happen.
Find your way in the episode:
0:00 Traveling abroad for the first time
3:30 Becoming a digital nomad & getting inspired
6:00 The advantage of having a buddy/community to take the leap
12:00 The reality of making money as a digital nomade & fear as a motivator
19:00 Amazon selling as a passive income
23:00 The psychology of warm weather and the holiday mood
27:00 From introvert to extravert
32:00 Entertainment Vs Education
34:00 Content is key: be real and do not blame failure on algorithms
37:00 The trigger
42:00 Actionnable tips to becoming a digital nomade
Riley's tips: the major keys to becoming a digital nomade
-
Surround yourself with inspiration: watch your idols on Youtube, print pictures of your dream destination, talk to people that already live that lifestyle...
-
Make the necessary sacrifices : Slept on a couch, sell your car, your clothes...
-
Have a buddy and become part of a community of like-minded people
-
Set a starting point: a specific date or event that will kickstart your journey
-
Have a clear and realistic financial plan for your business
-
Don't give up, you can still succeed right on the edge of losing it all!
Living that life on Youtube
Riley's Website
âThe four-hour workweek is not just a sweet dreamâ
Estimated reading time: 2'
I met Miloone on my last day on Gili Trawangan island, Indonesia, he was the friend of the hotel manager.
I had not been able to take out cash from multiple ATMs the previous night and it was time to check-out.
Like most places out there, they donât accept debit cards, and I was slightly panicking at the idea of being stranded on an island with no money, and the embarrassment of not being able to pay for my room. Every backpackerâs nightmare.
Miloone offered to walk me to the bank. He was walking barefoot on the concrete, serene.
On the way, he insisted on getting me water.
âDonât stress, just relax. Think about the moment. You are in beautiful Bali, look around you!
Personally, I am an introvert, and I like to observe what is happening around me and take it all in.
Iâve lived in New Zealand and in Lombok (i.e. the closest big city in Indonesia).
Over there, people worried about money too much.
It was all about competition, and making money, but they didnât enjoy the moment, they barely spent them with their family, or in nature.
It was too intense for me.
I moved back because I was looking for freedom. I found my freedom here.â
I asked how he defined freedom.
âItâs a peace of mind. I can be free to be me. Without caring about having people judge me. Without caring about what my salary is.
Without feeling the pressure of being better than the person next to me.
Here, we do not worry about money as much. At least, less people do.
If a friend or family member needs help, weâll support him.
We are all in this together, different but the same.
And if I ever feel the need to unwind, I can walk to the beach and look at the sea. Itâs the most relaxing thing I know.
So for your situation, donât be scared, let life happen, donât let the ego take control, follow your heart instead. Youâll figure it out, you always doâ.
I knew he was right, but I also was starting to think of the different ways to solve my situation and could not really focus on anything else.
We arrived at the bank. The bills came out.
I offered to pay back the water.
âNext time. Youâll be back. You know⊠Bali is dangerousâ, he said.
âWhy?â
âBecause when people leave, they remember. He pocks at his temple.
They remember our mindsetâ.
I met Thomas through a common friend who was visiting me from San Francisco.
We went to a co-working space for the day (we had the luxury of being able to work remote, which means no office, but no real holiday either).
Thomas was another French guy who had his quarters there.
I asked my friend for an introduction.
â- Never mind, youâre never going to get along.
-
Huh? Why?
-
Because heâs just the extreme opposite of you. You just wonât connect, thatâs all.
Heâs just a mean guy!â
I was flabbergasted.
â- Alright, now I HAVE to meet himâ.
Listen to his journey from being a social misfit, to finding his way and becoming an influencer with a voice (38 000+ followers on Twitter).
___________
SurdouĂ©, Thomas avait de la colĂšre accumulĂ©e due a lâincomprĂ©hension des autres, il se sentait trop intelligent pour ĂȘtre heureux.
Ill crĂ©ait du conflit comme une maniĂšre dâexister. Puis ill a commencĂ© a voir le gaming comme un exhutoire de ses Ă©motions et de sa communication.
Find your way in the episode:
2:20 Truth flows from the mouth of babes & being misunderstood as a child
6:00 The concept of safe zone
7:00 Teasing as a shell of protection & provoking reactions
9:30 Testing boundaries as a way to filter friends
11:00 Being rude in Southern Europe Vs the States
13:30 Flirting like an asshole
16:00 Being successful and getting a voice on social media by being true to yourself
19:00 The pressure of being on your best behaviour
24:00 Embracing cultures when travelling
âYou can be rude, but donât forget to apologizeââ
Katur was my first host in Bali, he approached me in the morning as I was having breakfast.
As I mentioned that I hadn't eaten meat for over 4 years after having researched the impact of the meat industry on the planet, we talked ecology.
" I have worked for Coca-Cola for 10 years back in Australia. It's a very smart company that taught their employees a lot about the importance of recycling.
After I broke up with my wife two years ago, I moved back to Bali.
I was shocked to see how things had changed.
First, more crowd.
Thirty years ago, there was only my family house here. If I stood on a tree to pick a coconut, I would see nature as far as the eyes can see. Now, all the land is gone, I could not see the beach and I live three blocks away from it.
The house was made of bamboo, there was no access to metal nor concrete. We lived primitively. We had backpackers over who would even sleep in our kitchen in their sleeping bags. A hotel night in Bali would cost 50 roopies. Now it is minimum 75 000 ($5). Multiplied by a thousand, can you imagine?
And still, if you come from a more developed country, you can live like a king, and spend in one month what you would spend in one night at the restaurant.
When rich businessmen saw the opportunity of building big hotels and making money here, prices started to go up, but we also gained comfort.
However, the pollution had gotten worse within 20 years. More crowd leads to more trash. It is out of control. Bali is a small island, so if rubbish takes over, where do we go, there won't be enough room!
Every morning, I go for a walk to check the waves and every single day, I see plastic everywhere. Trash on the streets, on the beach, bottles floating on the water... I even found plastic bags buried below my pool when I fixed the pipes. I am not happy about the situation, I tell everyone to think about it and do something. I also have 2 kids and want them to thrive in this beautiful nature.
I am part of the Bali Surfing Club community and we regularly clean up the ocean. The RENext Stop Asian Surfing Tour (longboard surf competition) will stop by Kuta beach for the first time this year and we want to make sure that the beach is neat.
The problem is that it is a never-ending process as rubbish keeps piling up, despite our efforts to get rid of it!
When you travel somewhere, say you buy Mac Donalds, get your food in a plastic bag, you sit down on the beach, have a beer, have a good time... When you finish don't leave the rubbish on the sand! because when a big tide comes, it brings it to the ocean. And then it is a nightmare to clean up.
The thing is, a lot of the big stores give customers plastic bags that take hundreds of years to decompose, instead of paper bags.
The responsibility is on us. If we leave it out there, they won't come back. And we need to set the example. If the locals act well, westerners will likely behave better too".
Fortunately, the government is starting to raise awareness and implement initiatives (more trashcan, an upcoming ban on polythene bags, ecology awareness taught at school...); there are also a bunch of ecological projects started by local communities such as Ecobali, trash Hero World or Merah Putih Hijau.
Katur concluded with: "My advice to readers is: if you want to change the world, do a little bit and then everyone can follow you".
I met Sam while sitting with a friend in a coffee shop in Venice. He was nonchalantly doing a handstand in the middle of the inner garden.
We applauded him and he approached us, asking if he could "do something to make us happy, to cleanse his soul"...
Apparently, he had been doing certain things he felt guilty for earlier that morning, and wanted to make up for it somehow. He had an infectious energy and attractive vibe.
We asked for tips with job searching as I was applying for various positions and afraid of rejection...
That's when he brought up a challenge he had just initiated: 30 days of rejection.
Ask something for 30 days, for which you expect people to say no to.
So the point is that after that month, thanks to the power of asking, he'll likely not care at all about people's opinions, and dare to ask for what he wants without fear.
We brought him home that day and made some art - his painting "Fuck fear" is standing on my side table as I speak, as a gentle reminder.
Turns out. He used to be scared. He used to be shy and he used to be afraid to ask for what he wanted.
But he's been in situations where he HAD to ask for a hand. Robbed, with $1.87 left on his account and no place to stay at. Or newly landed in unknown grounds with no friends and without speaking the language. But he always figured it out.
He's also been experiencing the other extreme of the scale, hanging out with billionaire Emiratis in Dubai, flying in private jets, partying on yachts and staying at Burj Al Arab, and understood that all the money, power and fame in the world won't make up for a life truly lived and experienced to its fullest.
Sam took me on a skydiving adventure shortly after to prove to me that I could overcome anything...
Listen to his story and challenges on this third podcast episode.
Find your way in the episode:
0:00 Moving to the States with no plans, no English, no place to stay at and no friends
1:55 The Rejection Therapy
4:00 The 30-Day challenge
10:00 How the journey started
âNever fear - never wait - never regret.â
â Sam Polyvyanny
Sam's Youtube Channel
Sam's Instagram
How we Met
Our Skydiving Story
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Subscribe to the podcast
EPISODE #2 - LOCKEDART
In this second episode, I have interviewed a Venice artist on the art of being aware of little things and present in the moment, and the idea that it only takes a couple seconds to brighten someone's day.
He has been leaving hand-written quotes all over town anonymously for a couple years, such as "Trust your dopeness", "The world is full of nice people, if you can't find one, be one", or "Hey, it's going to be okay".
We discuss what let him to want to bring some of the European "joie de vivre" to Los Angeles, after having himself been able to travel, disconnect and enjoy doing "nothing".
Find your way in the episode:
01:30 The tourist's eyes
04:00 Art as a way to disconnect
08:00 Adding positivity in the world
12:00 How it all started - Le Pont des Arts, Paris
14:00 Destiny
17:30 Turning point & cultural shock: moving on after traveling and playing soccer
20:00 The importance of self-love
23:00 Being present in the moment, the difference between Europe & the States
References:
His Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lockedart/
His website: www.coffeeandtings.com
Go further:
Subscribe to Lives/Disrupted on Apple podcast
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive exclusive motivational content & pre-order the free e-book on "How to Disrupt Your Life"
âAppreciate the smaller things in lifeâ
â Lockedart
EPISODE #1 - WILL LATIF LITTLE
In this first episode, I have interviewed an ex-prisoner and cold-blood killer turned motivational speaker on the topic of empathy.
Find your way in the episode:
02:00 Father figure and self-identity
09:00 Moving away from bullying and fear
11:00 Street life & hustling
18:00 Turning point
20:00 Education and spirituality as an escape
24:00 Behind the scenes in jail
31:00 Forgiveness and creativity as an outlet
References:
His TEDX talk - How to Become the best Version of Yourself
His website: www.willvlittle.com
His book: Inner City Youth
Go further:
Subscribe to Lives/Disrupted on Apple podcast
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive exclusive motivational content & pre-order the free e-book on "How to Disrupt Your Life"
âGet your KEYS: Keep Educating Yourself
â
â Will Latif Little
Estimated reading time: 1'20
- Reading time 1'20 -
I heard about Sebastien's story while discussing dream jobs abroad with my boyfriend at the time.
He told me the horror story of one of his friends.
It all started well.
Sebastien had signed a new job in beautiful Cyprus, his dream job, great salary and perks, fun company and interesting responsibilities, and had moved into a beautiful apartment with rooftop terrasse.
His girlfriend was willing to have a long-distance relationship, and he was getting along well with his new colleagues.
Or so he thought.
One night on a weekday, they all went out and his colleagues insisted that he's take drugs with them.
He never tried it and wasn't into it. But everybody was doing it, insisting over and over again so he felt peer-pressured and ended up accepting to try it for the first time.
Incidentally, the next day, there happened to be a drug control in the office.
Not for everyone though, he was the only person "randomly picked".
His test was, of course, positive and he was asked to pick up his things and leave the company/country on the same day.
Once he came back to his home country, Sweden, he was unemployed for a while, became depressed, put up on weight, his girlfriend broke up with him and he lost his apartment.
Eventually, he turned his life around, has a new place/ job/girlfriend and is happy,
Turns out one of his managers in Cyprus was jealous of him and felt insecure, fearing that he'd take his place eventually. He had arranged the whole thing to oust him.
My conclusion on that one would be: always stick to your ethics, no matter what others are pressuring you to do...
âHave you ever been backstabbed? How did you react?â
Estimated reading time: 1'30
I met Liaf while waiting in line at a bakery in Stockholm, Sweden. He advised me which cake to take (you know how french people can be fussy about their desserts!).
"- My name is Liaf, it is a Norwegian viking name , it means "son of the lion" in Arabic.
I used to be involved in Journalism, traveling the world (incl. the USA, Portugal, Tanzania, Cap Verde...) and meeting some of the most influential people in the political and entertainment scene, particularly in the States. At some point, I was approached by the CIA to become an agent, but I refused.
- Cool, I am also in the journalistic field, I said.
- Do you want to become the next Brandon Stanton?
- No, I want to be the first Helene Clabecq.
- Trust me, it's never too late to start.
I've had a rich life full of adventure, but at 69 years-old, I got a stroke and had a choice to make: either be old and scared, or do something about my mental and physical health.
Obviously, I wasn't gonna let myself die. At the time, my daughter was taking a degree as a Pedagogue, and since the teacher seemed to push all the work and supervision to parents, I decided that I might as well study for that diploma too. I got it at age 72, aside to studying gender equity. Shortly after, I started a travel agency for seniors, and took 2500 of them to Portugal".
I expressed my awe.
"69 is the middle of life, it's nothing impressive! You need to take care of your "cabeza" or you will slowly die"*
This discussion reminded me that we are the ones setting limits to ourselves. Not only it is never too late to reach for our goals, but most of the so-called obstacles that we think stop us, are just excuses we give ourselves.
The sky is the limit.
_______
* "Head" in Spanish
âDo you set limits to yourself? Which one(s) are you going to get rid of today?â
Estimated reading time: 3'
I met Hunter at a Friends-giving getaway in lake Tahoe, one of the most beautiful areas of California. We had rented a giant house by the lake together with 18 other people.
On the first day, while the group split into either skiing or hiking adventures, Hunter decided to stay home by the fireplace and read a book.
In the evenings, while he was the youngest of the bunch, 20 years old, he would warn adults not to eat sugar or drink too much... This caught my attention and I was curious to know why he was acting so mature.
"I just want to maximize my time and my health.
Alcohol dissolves brain cells, and brain cells donât recreate after being made, while most other cells in your body regenerate after 5 years. I don't want to waste them at an early age.
Last year, I would wake up at 8am and go to Business Administration classes. Then, I would go to my club and organizational roles. After a commute home, I would go to work as a pizza-delivery guy, then home again, do homework, play a video game and eventually end the day at 12-2 o'clock, in the morning iâd start again. I always needed to have energy, so I've always made a point to live healthily (sleep well, eat well, take care of my mind, etc). In college lot of students underachieve: it's more fun and less studies.
It wasnât the same for me.
- Did your parents put that pressure on you to study and work hard? I asked.
- My parents never really pushed me, I continually reach for my potential alone. However, they did introduce me to various activities and raised me well. They would never push me but I was taught that if I wanted something I would have to work towards it. For example, my family burns wood in the winter to help heat our house. This meant I'd have to help split, stack, or bring in wood during the winter, from a young age. Yet as I grew up it went from a chore, to something that I could do to help. Iâve always given whatever I'm doing my all.
I used to be an A student, soccer all-star, and track runner until I hurt my feet and was not able to compete any longer.
But when you work so hard toward good grades, you lose the meaning, you wake up in the morning and think "why am I here right now, is this this even worth it?".
Fortunately, one day, my high school buddy bootstrapped a company and asked me to be part of the project.
He dropped out of school, developed a wearable tech company, sold it, and invested in what has become Leangap.
I believe that everybody should have the chance to create something meaningful, to develop their ideas, no matter what their financial situation is. So we created this summer program that helps students reach their full potential. We gather students from all around the world into one location. We have mentors which direct them as they combine their various expertise and ideas. By the end of the program they will have a viable business model, app, or prototype which they pitch to a panel of venture capitalists, CEOs, and successful entrepreneurs.
I found what I love, it gives me more meaning, and I'm helping kids do the same. I might go back to school eventually but right now I still spend all my time experimenting, learning and growing. That's all I can do for myself at the end of the day. There's so much information out there...
My biggest tip is: learn what you want to know, figure out what interests you, then maximize your time accordingly to do what you love".
âWhatâs your passion & are you following it?â
English version below
A mon avis, je devais choisir une personne dans mon entourage dont le parcours m'a le plus impressionné, je choisirais Hanine.
Hanine, le mec qui, en moins de deux ans ...
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A participĂ© Ă trois TEDx et Ă d'autres confĂ©rences devant des milliers de personnes, mais qui tremblait devant sa feuille de papier au tableau Ă lâuniversitĂ©,
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S'entraĂźne 3 Ă 5 fois par semaine et a couru un marathon en 4 heures, alors qu'il ne comprenait pas l'intĂ©rĂȘt de faire du sport il y a un an et demi,
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Peut sortir seul la nuit et rentrer chez lui avec 10 nouveaux numĂ©ros enregistrĂ©s dans son tĂ©lĂ©phone et faire tomber les filles sous son charme avec la bonne touche dâhumour, tandis que lors de ses premiĂšres tentatives, il n'Ă©tait pas en mesure dâaligner deux mots Ă un inconnu.
Bref, c'est le mec pour qui tout est possible, à condition de voir la vie comme un jeu, de ne pas prendre les choses au sérieux et d'aller à toute vitesse.
Comment a-t-il entamé sa transformation? Je lui ai demandé directement à mon retour à Lille.
"J'ai fait beaucoup de travail sur moi-mĂȘme lorsque j'ai dĂ©mĂ©nagĂ© du Maroc en France, et je suis un passionnĂ© de dĂ©veloppement personnel depuis l'Ăąge de 18 ans. Je lisais tous les livres et regardais toutes les vidĂ©os et documentaires que j'avais sur main.
Je voulais améliorer mes compétences sociales et gagner en confiance en moi. Je me préparais mentalement avant de sortir par exemple ... Les premiers succÚs m'ont donné plus de confiance en moi et c'est devenu de plus en plus facile.
Peut-ĂȘtre que les gens me voient comme un extraverti ou un homme de femmes, mais il n'en a pas toujours Ă©tĂ© ainsi :). Le processus d'apprentissage Ă©tait complexe car chaque fois que je travaillais sur mes compĂ©tences sociales, cela ne fonctionnait pas Ă long terme: j'Ă©tais complĂštement dĂ©pendant de mes sautes d'humeur. Si j'avais la chance de me rĂ©veiller frais et Ă©nergique, je travaillais sur moi-mĂȘme et me poussais dans mes retranchements.
Par contre, si je me réveillais paresseux ou fatigué, je ne faisais rien. Mon niveau d'énergie était essentiel.
Un jour, j'ai lu l'un des livres de Tony Robbins expliquant comment la nutrition pouvait impacter nos niveaux d'Ă©nergie. C'Ă©tait nouveau pour moi car je n'associais les aliments sains quâĂ la "perte de poids" ou au "gain musculaire", et je n'avais jamais pensĂ© que cela pouvait affecter mes capacitĂ©s mentales.
Ă l'Ă©poque, je mangeais beaucoup de nourriture industrielle. Je commençais chaque journĂ©e avec 4 ou 5 petits pains au chocolat et un soda. Ensuite, j'avalais 5 ou 6 tasses Ă cafĂ© et des comprimĂ©s de vitamine C tout au long de la journĂ©e, pour essayer d'augmenter ces niveaux d'Ă©nergie ... Je cherchais des supplĂ©ments pour ĂȘtre Ă©nergique, sans me rendre compte que je me nourrissais de choses toxiques au pied levĂ©.
C'est alors que j'ai dĂ©cidĂ© de lui donner un coup de collier et d'arrĂȘter de manger du sucre pendant un mois. Pas besoin de pousser le dĂ©fi Ă l'extrĂȘme, juste un mois, pour voir comment ça se passerait.
La 3e semaine, j'ai commencé à pratiquer le sport plus intensément.
La 4e semaine, j'ai commencĂ© Ă mĂ©diter et j'ai arrĂȘtĂ© de regarder les informations.
Si je dĂ©crivais ma vie dâavant, j'allais travailler, je rentrais Ă la maison, je regardais un film en commandant une pizza. Le week-end, je me tuais au travail et passais le weekend Ă rĂ©cupĂ©rer.
Si j'étais déprimé pendant l'hiver, le problÚme n'était pas seulement le manque de lumiÚre, c'était aussi mon état physiologique. Et si je pouvais le renforcer avec la nourriture, le repos et l'entraßnement appropriés, je savais que ne serais pas aussi affecté par des facteurs externes.
Tout d'un coup, aprĂšs avoir arrĂȘtĂ© le sucre, quand je rentrais chez moi, je voulais faire des activitĂ©s plus significatives. Quand j'ai repris du sucre pour la premiĂšre fois (et je le fais toujours, exceptionnellement), j'ai remarquĂ© le changement de mon Ă©nergie et cela a confirmĂ© que c'Ă©tait le dĂ©clencheur. Cela me donne un bref pic d'Ă©nergie qui retombe ensuite et me rend encore plus fatiguĂ© pendant le processus digestif.
Pensez-y. Si je vous empĂȘche de dormir et de manger pendant deux jours et que je vous fais regarder un chef-d'Ćuvre, ou disons votre film prĂ©fĂ©rĂ©. Allez-vous prendre plaisir Ă le regarder? Non. Parce que vous n'ĂȘtes pas physiologiquement en bonne santĂ©. C'est comme nager Ă contre-courant.
C'est ainsi que mon défi de 365 jours a commencé.
Chaque jour, je me réveillais et je pensais: "que puis-je faire avec cet excÚs d'énergie?" Ce n'était pas un coup de pouce comme aprÚs une tasse de café, c'était un niveau d'énergie continu et stable.
J'ai commencé à googler: cours de danse, expositions, cours de guitare ... et je me suis finalement lancé le défi de faire une nouvelle activité chaque jour pendant un an, et j'ai commencé à bloguer à ce sujet.
Les gens ont tendance Ă penser que le manque de temps est le problĂšme. Ce n'est pas cela. Je perdais 25 heures par semaine devant la tĂ©lĂ©. "Je n'ai pas le temps" signifie littĂ©ralement "je n'ai pas l'Ă©nergie". C'est la diffĂ©rence entre ceux qui ont du temps pour leur carriĂšre, leurs amis et leur famille et peuvent ĂȘtre Ă©veillĂ©s pendant 18 heures, et ceux qui se sentent comme des zombies.
Si vous voulez changer votre situation, voyez la vie comme un jeu. Il est probable que quelqu'un ait eu les mĂȘmes problĂšmes que vous, vous pouvez donc rechercher la solution autour de vous. Câest mon avis car je lâai constatĂ©.
Par exemple, au travail: comment signer plus d'offres? Comment négocier une augmentation? Changez votre point de vue et voyez ces obstacles qui vous faisaient tomber comme des défis amusants ... C'est ainsi que j'ai triplé mon salaire en un an. à mon avis, la peur de l'échec est aussi une peur de perdre de l'énergie, et cela revient à l'essentiel. Vous avez peur de perdre de l'énergie si vous n'en avez pas une quantité illimitée.
Quand je regarde en arriÚre, j'ai été le premier de mes camarades de classe à obtenir un contrat de travail permanent, payé le double du salaire minimum, bien qu'étant un "immigrant", tandis que d'autres cherchaient simplement un contrat à durée déterminée, rémunéré le strict minimum. C'est arrivé parce que je savais que si je ne trouvais rien, je devais quitter le pays, alors je suis devenu plus créatif et j'ai tout misé. J'ai accepté les refus et les ai analysés pour aller mieux. En fait, gagner 10% de temps est une énorme statistique.
Des amis avec qui je traĂźnais disaient "regardez X, il a une maĂźtrise et est caissier, je ne trouverai pas non plus un travail gratifiant ..." Ces gens n'ont mĂȘme pas essayĂ© et ont fini comme ça aussi. Je ne pensais pas que j'Ă©tais meilleur que quiconque, mais je pensais "ils ont peut-ĂȘtre raison, mais je suis le crĂ©ateur de ma propre vie".
Si j'Ă©tais rejetĂ© lors d'une interview ou avec une fille, je penserais "retravaillons ceci et cela". Je ne me remettais jamais en question pour qui j'Ă©tais ni ne pensais "ellemâa rejetĂ© parce que je suis arabe".
Si vous avez un systÚme de croyance limité, vous vous limitez. La connaissance de soi est probablement *le meilleur point de départ si vous voulez changer votre style de vie.*
Je me vois comme un train qui s'arrĂȘte dans diffĂ©rentes gares. Par exemple, si la fille par qui je suis attirĂ©e monte es marches du train, c'est la bonne personne pour moi et c'est le bon moment, sinon, elle ne l'est tout simplement pas et je la lĂąche, je ne suis pas un Uber, je ne change pas de destination, je continue jusqu'Ă la prochaine station.
La deuxiÚme partie la plus difficile du développement personnel est d'agir.
Les gens adorent lire des astuces et imaginer comment leur vie pourrait ĂȘtre, mais une fois qu'ils ont posĂ© leur livre, rien de majeur ne se passe et la vie continue au mĂȘme rythme. Personnellement, je dois faire preuve d'originalitĂ© et de crĂ©ativitĂ© au quotidien, pirater mon cerveau pour ainsi dire, pour pouvoir agir. Lorsque nous visons des objectifs personnels, nous avons gĂ©nĂ©ralement beaucoup de motivations intrinsĂšques, mais pas suffisamment de motivations extrinsĂšques stimulantes (par exemple, un patron qui vous licenciera si vous ne vous prĂ©sentez pas le matin, une compĂ©tition lancĂ©e avec vos collĂšgues). Donc, une façon de rendre le processus amusant et alĂ©atoire est d'introduire un âdanger.â, une excitation.
Ă un moment donnĂ© de mon dĂ©fi de 365 jours, j'ai mis un tas d'idĂ©es dans une boĂźte et je choisissais une "mission" Ă remplir au hasard le matin. Je me sentais littĂ©ralement comme un enfant la veille de NoĂ«l! Assurez-vous Ă©galement de vous amuser. Vous passerez plus de temps "sur la route", en allant du point A au point B. Tant que vous vous amusez en chemin, vous pouvez aller trĂšs loin, vous ne vous arrĂȘterez pas aux difficultĂ©s car vous ne serez pas seulement attachĂ© aux rĂ©sultats.
C'est ce qui fait la différence entre les personnes qui abandonnent et celles qui continuent.
Enfin, prĂ©parez-vous aux moments oĂč vous serez moins motivĂ©. J'appelle mon cĂŽtĂ© douteur le "petit Hanine", et ma version plus audacieuse "le grand Hanine"!
Par exemple, si je veux me rĂ©veiller tĂŽt le matin pour faire de l'exercice, je prĂ©pare ma tenue de sport au bord du lit, chaussettes incluses, comme si je devais prĂ©parer des affaires pour un enfant de quatre ans. Je place Ă©galement mon alarme au rez-de-chaussĂ©e (j'habite dans un duplex), au cas oĂč je perdrais ma motivation Ă 6h du matin. Une fois rĂ©veillĂ©, je mets mes vĂȘtements sans mĂȘme y penser. Si vous commencez Ă penser, c'est Ă ce moment que vous vous affaiblissez et pensez: "ça va, je peux manquer la salle de gym une fois, j'irai demain".
Il y a aussi des gens qui vont douter de vous, ou des situations qui vous donneront envie d'abandonner.
Une chose qui me stimule est de lire des biographies de personnes que j'admire et de m'inspirer de la façon dont ils ont géré les défis. Un bon exemple est Elon Musk, qui a dû trouver comment payer ses employés, en millions de dollars, et a continué quand tout le monde pensait qu'il était fou ...
Je continue de me mettre au dĂ©fi chaque jour et je travaille sur un projet pour aider les gens Ă devenir la meilleure version dâeux-mĂȘme, car je crois vraiment qu'une fois que vous comprenez comment fonctionne le cerveau et commencez Ă voir la vie comme un jeu, tout est possible ".*
J'aime l'idĂ©e de sortir de notre zone de confort pour atteindre nos objectifs. Et en regardant l'exemple dâHanine, j'ai compris que cela ne prenait qu'un petit pas. Que ce soit pour arrĂȘter le sucre pendant un mois, aller Ă l'opĂ©ra pour la premiĂšre fois ou dire bonjour Ă un Ă©tranger, son systĂšme crĂ©e de nouvelles connections dans notre cerveau qui nous permettent de tester de nouvelles choses et de nous motiver plutĂŽt que d'avoir peur de grandir.
J'ai dâailleurs tatouĂ© une aile de papillon sur mon poignet qui symbolise cela - l'effet papillon. Chaque petit pas que vous faites peut sembler insignifiant, mais il vous rapproche de vos objectifs et d'une meilleure version de vous-mĂȘme, un battement d'aile Ă la fois. Il y a une citation disant "les perdants ont un objectif, les gagnants ont des systĂšmes" ...
20% de reduction sur le jeu goodbye comfort zone heroes
en entrant le code LIVESDISRUPTED sur http://bit.ly/GoodbyeComfortZone_LIVESDISRUPTED
Voici quelques conseils pour sortir de votre zone de confort avec succĂšs:
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Auditez votre vie et trouvez des moyens d'améliorer vos niveaux d'énergie
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Se connaitre
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Voir la vie comme un jeu
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Commencez facilement et augmentez progressivement la difficulté
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Agir en mettant en Ćuvre diverses techniques de motivation (motivateurs extrinsĂšques, alĂ©a, anticiper les moments faibles)
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Amusez-vous en chemin!
Et vous, quel est votre avis sur le développement personnel? Allez-vous tester le jeu Goodbye Comfort Zone Heroes et sortir de votre zone de comfort, un challenge a la fois?
___
* N.B. Goodbye Comfort Zone Heroes est un jeu qui aide les gens à sortir de leur zone de comfort en leur lançant des défis quotidiens.
- Lien vers le jeu GOODBYE COMFORT ZONE HEROES avec 20% de réduction:
http://bit.ly/GoodbyeComfortZone_LIVESDISRUPTED
Code LIVESDISRUPTED * Lien vers le livre Goodbye Comfort Zone:
https://amzn.to/35X2je0
_____________________
Life is a GameIf I had to choose a person in my entourage whose path has impressed me the most, I'd pick Hanine.
Hanine, the guy who, in less than two years...
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Participated in TEDx and other conferences in front of thousands people, but who used to shake in front of his sheet of paper at the board at Uni,
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Trains 3-5x a week and ran a marathon in 4 hours, when he did not understand the point of playing sports a year and a half ago,
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Can go out alone at night and head home with 10 new numbers saved in his phone and make girls fall under his spell with the right one-liners, while upon his first attempts, he was unable to string two words together to a stranger,
This is the guy for whom everything is possible, provided that you see life as a game, don't take things seriously and go full speed.
How did he start his transformation? I asked him directly when I came back to Lille, France, for the holidays.
"I did a lot of work on myself when I originally moved from Morocco to France, and I've been a personal-development enthusiast ever since I was 18. I was reading all the books and watching all the videos and documentaries I had at hand.
I wanted to improve my social skills, my EQ and gain self-confidence. I prepared myself before going out for example... The first hits gave me more confidence and it became easier and easier.
Maybe you can now picture me as an extravert or a ladies man, but it has not always been this way :)
The learning process was complex because every time I was working on my social skills, it did not work out in the long run: I was completely dependent on my mood swings. If I had the chance to wake up fresh and energetic, I would work on myself and push myself. On the other hand, if I felt lazy or tired, I would not get anything done.
My energy level was key.
One day, I read one of Tony Robbins books explaining how nutrition can impact your energy levels. It was new for me as I'd only associate healthy food with "weight loss" or "muscle gain", and never thought that it could impact my mental abilities.
At the time I was eating a lot of industrial food. I started each day with 4 or 5 chocolate buns and a soda. Then I'd swallow 5 or 6 coffee cups and vitamin C tablets throughout the day, to try and get those energy levels up... I was looking for supplements to be energetic, without realizing that I was fueling myself with the wrong gas from the start.
That's when I decided to give it a shot and stop eating sugar for a month. No need to take it to the extreme, just one month, to see how it would go.
On the 3rd week, I started to practice sports more intensely. On the 4th week, I started to meditate & stopped watching news.
If I'd describe my life before, I'd go to work, come home, watch a movie and order pizza. On the weekend, I'd get hammered and spend days recovering. If I was depressed during winter, the problem was not just the lack of light, it was also my physiological state. And if I could strengthen it with the proper food, rest and workout, I wouldn't be as impacted by external factors. All of a sudden, after I stopped sugar, I would come home and want to do more meaningful activities.
When I took sugar for the first time again (and I still do, exceptionally), I noticed the switch in my energy and it confirmed that it was the trigger. It gives me a brief peak of energy that then falls back and makes me even more tired during the digestive process.
Think about it.
If I prevent you from sleeping and eating for two days, and I make you watch a masterpiece, say your favorite movie. Are you going to enjoy watching it?
No. Because you aren't physiologically healthy. It's like swimming against the tide.
That's how my 365 days challenge started.
Every day, I'd wake up and think: "what can I do with this excess of energy?"
It wasn't a boost like after a coffee cup, it was a continuous and stable level of energy.
I started googling activities: dance classes, exhibitions, guitar lessons... & eventually gave myself the challenge of doing a new activity each day for a year, and started blogging about it.
People tend to think that the lack of time is the issue. It's not.
I used to waste 25 hours per week watching TV. "I don't have the time" literally means "I don't have the energy". That's the difference between those who have time for their career, friends and family and can be awake for 18 hours, and those who feel like zombies.
If you want to change your situation, see life as a game.
Somebody is likely to have had the same problems as you, so you can look it up. For example, at work: how can you sign more deals? How can you negotiate a raise? Change your perspective and see those obstacles that used to bring you down as fun challenges... That's how I tripled my salary in a year.
In my opinion, the fear of failure is also a fear of losing energy, and it goes back to the basics. You are worried of losing energy if you don't have an unlimited amount of it.
When I look back, I was the first one of my classmates to get an permanent working contract, paid twice the minimal salary, despite being an "immigrant", while others were simply looking for a fixed-term contract, remunerated the bare minimum. It happened because I knew that if I did not find anything, I'd have to leave the country, so I became more creative and staked it all. I accepted rejections and analyzed them to get better. In fact, winning 10% of the time is a huge statistic.
Friends I used to hang out with would say "look at X, he has a Master's degree and is a cashier, I'll never find a rewarding job either..." Those people did not even try and ended up like that too. I did not believe that I was better than anyone else, but I was thinking "they might be right, but I am the producer of my own life". If I got rejected at an interview or with a girl, I'd think "let's rework this and that". I never question myself for who I was and thought "they rejected be because I am Arabic". If you have a limited belief system, you'll limit yourself.
Self-knowledge is probably the best starting point if you want to make changes in your lifestyle.
I see myself as a train that stops at different stations. For instance, if the girl I am attracted to steps on the train, she is the right person for me and this is the right timing, is not, she simply is not and I let go of her, I am not an Uber, iâm not changing my destination, I keep driving until the next station.
The second most difficult part of personal development is acting out. People love to read tips and imagine how their life could be, but once they put their book down, nothing major happens and life goes on at the same pace. I personally have to display originality and creativity on a daily basis, hack my brain so to speak, to be able to take action.
When aiming for personal goals, we usually have plenty of intrinsic motivations, but not enough extrinsic ones that are stimulating (for instance, a boss that will fire you if you do not show up in the morning, competition with your colleagues). So one way to make the process fun and random is to introduce hazard. At some point of my 365 days-challenge, I put a bunch of ideas in a box and would pick a "mission" to fulfill randomly in the morning. I literally felt like a kid on Christmas Eve!
Also, make sure to have fun. You'll spend more time "on the road", going from point A to B. As long as you have fun on the way, you can go very far, you won't stop at difficulties because you won't be only attached to results. This is what makes the difference between people who give up and those who keep it up.
Finally, prepare for the times you'll be less motivated. I call the doubtful side of me the "little Hanine", and the bolder version of me the "big Hanine"! For example, if I want to wake up early in the morning to work out, I'll prepare my outfit by the bed, socks included, as if I were to prepare items for a four years old. I'll also place my alarm downstairs (I live in a duplex), in case I lose my motivation when 6 AM strikes. Once awake, I'll put my clothes on without even thinking. If you start thinking, that's when you weaken and think: "it's fine, I can miss the gym one time, I'll go tomorrow".
There's also people who are going to doubt you, or situations that will make you feel like giving up. One thing that boosts me is reading biographies of people I admire, and get inspired by the way they've handled challenges. A good example is Elon Musk, who had to figure out how to pay his employees, in millions of dollars, kept going when everybody thought that he was insane...
I keep on challenging myself every day and am working on an app* to help others do the same, because I truly believe that once you understand how the brain works and start seeing life as a game, anything is possible".
I love the idea of getting outside of our comfort zone to reach our goals. And when looking at Hanine's example, I've understood that it only takes a small step. Wether it is stopping sugar for a month, going to the opera for the first time or saying hello to a stranger, this creates new patterns in our brain that allow us to test new things and get excited rather than scared, and grow. I've actually tattooed a butterfly wing on my wrist that symbolizes just that - the butterfly effect.
Each small step you take may seem insignificant, but it brings you closer to your goals and to a better version of yourself, one wing flap at a time.
There's a quote saying "losers have an objective, winners have systems"... Here are some tips for getting outside of your Comfort Zone successfully:
-
Audit your life and find ways to improve your energy levels
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Know yourself
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See life as a game
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Start easy and gradually increase the difficulty
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Act out by implementing various motivational techniques (extrinsic motivators, hazard, planning ahead for weak moments)
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Have fun on the way!
___
*N.B. a game that helps people get outside their comfort zones by sending them daily challenges.
- Link to Hanine's GOODBYE COMFORT ZONE HEROES game with 20% off discount (French) :
http://bit.ly/GoodbyeComfortZone_LIVESDISRUPTED
Code LIVESDISRUPTED * Link to the book Goodbye Comfort Zone (French):
https://amzn.to/35X2je0
âWhich challenge are you going to take today to get outside of your comfort zone?â
Estimated reading time: 7'
I met Isaac at a house-party at my place last year.
We did not have the most usual conversation on a Saturday night as he was telling me how unhappy he felt at work, and that he was considering quitting and going on a trip.
I encouraged him, as I always do with people who want to follow their heart, but you how it is, a lots of people dream of doing that and never actually take the step.
Isaac wasn't one of those.
The second time we caught up, he had quit the same day and was leaving the following week to Europe and Asia, on a one-way ticket. He was literally shrieking and jumping up and down, of excitement. Obviously, champagne was on me!
The third time we met up, he had just gotten back from his trip and was visiting LA, so he had to tell me the whole story over lunch.
âIâve been passionate about programming for as long as I can remember.
At 13, I became obsessed with Scratch. I really loved that you could make shit out of nothing, I was like thatâs awesome, I can build my own world!*
After 3 months, I built up a word-search game that got featured on the front-page of a website.
I wanted to do more of that, but back then in 2010-11, I didnât know it was possible to do this for a living, I wanted to build websites and apps were not really a thing yet.
My parents didnât know any of this shit so they couldnât help me, they were like follow your passion but to an extent, and live a normal life after that aha.
A couple years later, I investigated and found a programming summer-college at Harvard that taught me a little more, though was very isolating because we were basically running a computer inside a computer, which took a lot of memory and slowed down the whole thing, preventing us from being able to actually build stuff.
Fast-forward to my first programming meetup in NYC. I dropped a note on the group and asked if somebody wanted to go with me since I was a high-school kid and didnât know anyone.
A girl responded and we hung out over pizza. She did not go to college, so I was like âWow is this something you can do?â It blew my mind. At the time, I was going to private school in NYC and everybody hated school, period.
A few months later, I participated in a coding boot camp over the summer. It cost a fortune and my parents didnât want to payâŠ
âWhat do I do now?â moment nr 1:
I contacted the founder and asked if I could do an internship there. I kept emailing him till he finally said yes. Hustling my way in!
I love that when this guy wants something, he makes it happen and takes chances.
This internship was life-changing because it was still school, but everyone was coming from all these different backgrounds and actually wanted to be there and learn. These were real people, older, not just high-school shitheads⊠One guy was in the army, another one was a baseball player, one was a surgeon, etc.
We had this thing called âFeeling Fridayâ, where everyone would stand up and share their feeling of the week, and one time I started sobbing and say, âthis is my homeâ.
When the summer ended, I had to go back to high-school for a final year. It was brutal. I had had a flash of how my life could be over the summer and it certainly wasnât school.
I got in trouble all the time because at this point I couldn't care less. The principal thought I was crazy so I got hooked up with the school psychologist, and I was able to skip the worse classes I had to chill with her and chat about our common hatred of the place.
Eventually, I managed to get an internship to skip all the other classes I hated.â
This is what happens when the educational system insists on putting people in boxes rather than trying to understand why they misbehaveâŠ
âAt that point, I had to apply to college as my parents were pressuring me so I did this for a year, but I was dreaming of San-Francisco, the geek heaven.
I asked the founder of Flatiron for contacts and he helped me get an internship in SF. My plan was that theyâd love me so much theyâd hire me, but of course, none of that happened. They were giving me no responsibilities whatsoever and at the end of the internship I had no plan B, but I still had a place so I decided Iâd just figure things out and it would work out.
I spent a year doing freelancing, being a Postmate-career, using my savings, but at some point, it just wasnât going to pay my rent".
I could totally relate to thisâŠWhen you sign up for a place on a long-term, it says a lot about your intentions and commitment, and it gives you a push to make things happen.
âWhat do I do now?â moment nr 2:
"I did a lot of networking, went to hackathons and ended up being approached by this guy who was looking for an engineer to launch his start-up. That was a month before Iâd have to go back to college for want of anything better.
His app was pretty cool so we decided to give it a shot. We moved to the Tenderloin (NB: the worse neighborhood of San Francisco, frequented by drug dealers, criminals, and prostitutes).
After we got fundraising, I became a co-founder, we used the money to get a better lifestyle, we hired people, tried to make it work but it just wasnât going anywhere.
I was in a social cage, it was a mindset thing, all I could think about. As things were going downhill, I met this cute girl, and we literally lived together for an entire month. I was craving social interaction at that stage. On a Friday, she came home (which also was out office) early and we started to hang out. My co-founder freaked out as he saw that I was phasing out, asked me âdo you really want to do this, youâre not focused?!â, and he let me go the next day."
It happens SO often that when you donât want something, you fail it on purpose so that somebody else takes the decision to end the situation, and sets you free.
âWhat do I do now?â moment nr 3:
"I left and chilled on my friendâs boat in Sausalito. It sounded like a dream but it was pouring every day and there were no bathroomsâŠ
So I got a job in a startup.
My boss was difficult and I could not deal with it anymore â to be honest, when I quit, I first one to leave but since then almost all my coworkers walked the walk.
I was planning on traveling to Europe and South-Asia with a friend but on the first night, she got a call from her boss and had to go back home right away. She ditched me.
âWhat do I do now?â moment nr 4:
Isnât it interesting to notice that every time you face an obstacle, and things donât go the way you planned, this actually gives you a chance to level up?
Well, I had no return flight and had gotten rid of my apartment in San Francisco so there was no way Iâd turn back. It was slightly exciting and slightly terrifying.
I went to 9 countries in 5 months (Prague, Spain, Italy, Germany, France, Switzerland, Thailand, Vietnam, JapanâŠ), did some freelance, traveled and taught kids some English. Even though I originally wasnât planning on coming back, it felt very temporary because the language barrier made it difficult to have meaningful conversations. So I came back.
Now, Iâm switching my career to Californian politics, housing, local stuff. It is more meaningful. Iâve had to live in unsafe and uncomfortable places and areas during my life, and I want to make a difference for others.
Also, housing really is a centerpiece of understanding Americaâs decay. Once you understand that Americaâs problems are totally made up and weâve brought this on ourselves, you find ways to fix it.
We donât have to be in a shit show. Our environment doesnât have to literally burn in front of us. We just need the courage to say that we failed and itâs time to try something new.
In fact, Iâm not really switching from programming at all. I see these things as tools â as means to an end. It just happens that programming and creating apps are a great way to reach people.
Before having to face all those "What do I do now moments", I think I was afraid of what was going on around me. You look around and itâs hard not to be scared. But thatâs how they get you. Thatâs the only way Trump will win, is if we become scared and desperate. Iâm not afraid anymore because weâre screwed by our inaction. 2017 was a year of roller-coasters, 2018 is a time to act. Go do whatever you need to do!
____
(colored blocks that you drag & drop like puzzle pieces instead of typing codes)*
âWould you rather build your own virtual reality or recreating things on the real world?â
â Isaac Rosenberg
Estimated reading time: 3'
We've all seen a lot of publications around sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and general disrespect of women lately, with the #Metoo campaign.
I come a little bit late in the game, but I am tired of witnessing red flags and seeing men behaving like predators. I am tired of having to stand up for myself as a woman, having to set limits because they've been crossed, and having to comfort my girlfriends for the same reasons.
So I've decided to share a few examples of red flags (true stories), from my experience, from soft to risky:
Situation 1: you are on a date. Your date spends more time looking at your breast and your bottom when you turn around, rather than listening to your conversation. And when a bunch of girls passes you, he literally turns his head back. No surprise there. Oh and in case you wondered, it was not a Tinder date. And I did not wear revealing clothes.
Situation 2: you walk up the street with heavy bags from the supermarket. A car stops. The dude asks you to come closer so he can talk to you... You naively think he wants to offer his help. Instead, he tells you (warning - raw language): "Don't move, I will come back to break your legs and lick your pussy until you scream". You're so confused you forget to note down his license plate.
Situation 3: you are interviewing for a job. The HR advises you to not look under the table.
Situation 4: you apply for a model gig and meet the 70 y.old manager in a cafe. He asks for your cup size for the bikini you are going to wear, and before you have time to answer, he swiftly grabs your breasts to "measure himself".
Situation 5: you book a massage online. Turns out the massage takes place in a private home, and the therapist spends an awkwardly long amount of time massaging your upper thighs.
Situation 6: you are in a cab in Mexico, middle of the jungle, no network and no soul in the streets. The car driver puts his hand on your leg. You push him away and pray.
I have experienced a million small situations like that. But despite the red flags, I kept going for it. I saw this guy again, I kept seeking those jobs, I stayed in the car.
And worse, most times, I did not speak up.
Why? Low self-esteem? Probably. Fear of making the other person uncomfortable? Definitely.
At the moment, I knew exactly what to do, I knew exactly what to say. I was screaming inside of my head.
But I got paralyzed. Shame was taking over. I thought I had misunderstood. It thought it was not real.
Earlier in January, three of my friends confessed having been raped.
But that's not what shocked me the most.
What shocked me the most was that they KEPT HANGING OUT with the predators. They did not see themselves as victims.
They blamed themselves for not having known better.
For having accepted their drinks.
For having trusted them to take care of them and respect them as they were saying no. As they were crying. After they blacked out.
And the only thing they wanted to do in the morning was to hide away and pretend it did not happen.
A pure walk of shame.
So I am begging you ladies to go ahead and speak up. And if you can't do it on the spot, it is never too late. Trust your instincts. Remove toxic people from your life. Respect yourself and do not let anyone enter your intimacy without your consent.
There are too many stories of disrespect towards women, abuse, and sexual harassment.
My trick is to count the red flags:
-
One red flag: be on your toes. Speak up.
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Two red flags: just walk away.
âIf it doesnât feel right, it probably isnât.
Which red flags do you look for?â
Estimated reading time: 2'
Conversation with one of my colleagues on his most memorable turning point.
âAt college, for 180 days straight, I got drunk, smoke a lot of weed and took pills. Once, I did something really bad that could have led me both dismissed from school and go to prison.
The counsellor gave two choices, either Iâd go to AA meetings every week and report on what Iâd learnt, or he would report me to the university and the police for what I did.
I took the first option. Once there, I met this guy from AA who told me:
âLook, man, you think this is funny, you think youâre tough? You think this isnât the problem?
Youâve been doing this for 180 days, Iâve been struggling with this for 30 years.
Do you want to wake up at 9.20 when you have a job, youâre drunk, you donât know where you are, you canât find your shoes and you have to get a cab to get to work? You go to a good school with a very difficult major and you seem like a smart kid, so I want you to go home today and I want you to look in the mirror tonight and think:
âDo I want to do this for the rest of my life? Do I want the first thought in my head when I wake up to be âI need a drinkâ?"
Right now youâre at school, but one day youâll have a kid and a wife. I missed the birth of my daughter because I was in a drunk holding cell. I wasn't there for her, is that what you want? I missed my fatherâs funeral because I was at the bar.
My first answer was âLook man, thatâs your problemâ.
He said âfor 30 years, every decision in my life was influenced by alcohol, and I donât want that to be you.You think you have the whole world under your feet but youâre right on the verge of losing everything in front of your eyes".So I listened.
When I got home, I got rid of all the bottles and asked my roommates to hold me accountable.
If there were parties, theyâd tell me to go upstairs. 2-3 days in, I was sweating, I felt horrible.
After 2 weeks, I went out, planning on only getting one drink.
After the first drink, my friends took my credit card, and if a girl would offer me a drink, theyâd slap it out of my hand. Or theyâd smell my glass to check whether I was having water or vodka. It eventually got to the point when Iâd go out and only want to have soft drinks and slowly grow out of it. This dude's sentence still sticks with me.â
Estimated reading time: 6'
Pamela is a girl that I met back in London. She was one of my clients, back when I had to work as a babysitter and cleaning lady aside to my full-time work, to be able to pay for my expenses.
She had two children and confessed how having the first one impacted her relationship.
âHaving a first child, and in our case, twins, is the best moment to have a crisis in your relationship. You donât have time to go to the gym, you donât have time for each otherâŠ
You cannot surprise your husband at the door with sexy lingerie, spend the weekend at the spa, nor go on a spontaneous escape. You have your routine, you donât try new things anymore.
So when this colleague approached me and started to flirt and compliment me non-stop, I fell for it.
I had become a mum, and needed to feel desired as a woman.
The first phase: attraction
First step. You idealize the lover. Everything he says, does, his projects sound perfect.
You think that if you are attracted and start having feelings for somebody else, you cannot turn back, and that your husband is not the right one for you, because what you get at home is not enough, since the new guy gives you something new that your husband doesnât. Compliments. Attentions. Gifts.
You contemplate leaving him. This guy in question was a serial-lover. He had had conquests from 18 to 50 years-old. He knew exactly what he was doing, and how to do it.
He was an expert in seduction. He was well-dressed, cultivated, charming, mature, straightforward⊠A real Christian Grey.
The second phase: disgust
The honeymoon phase starts fading and you see the loverâs true colors. You understand you were blinded.
In my case, that guy was egoistic, and after 6 months, I started to see that. He had no problem fucking me, but if I would leave everything behind for him, he would not want to take the responsibility and he would let me deal with the mess alone. It would be convenient so that he could see me more often, but he would not be a support...
While I was crying every day, devastated because he was messing up with my head and I had no perspective of the future, he would be whistling around, feeling grateful for the moment we had had, and for having seduced a girl almost half his age.
I was an emotional wreck, and all he had to say was âdonât worry itâs gonna be fineâ.
He would meet other girls and tell me about it. Not to make me jealous, rather to make it clear that there would be nothing âseriousâ between us.
To protect myself, I kept thinking âdo not react in the heat of the momentâ. Every single thing I do is thought-through. I never take any decision that could be a turning point hot-minded. I'd rather leave the room, wait, one, two days, breathe, have a good cry, meditate, thinkâŠ
I understand where he was coming from though. He had been married. He had had a lot of relationships. He wanted to feel free and was afraid of the routine and commitment. But thatâs not was I was looking for. I wouldnât leave everything I had for something haphazardly, and I understood that I would lose so much more than I would gain if I went down that road.
Also, even though I was fantasizing about him, and I was feeling waves in my body when he was around, when he finally kissed me, it felt wrong.
I got disappointed and though: âdon't you see that you're jumping into something that you're not even going to enjoy?!â.
It broke the spell.
When you kiss your husband and have your way, you know what each other likes after ten years, it is hard to find this somewhere else. Same with love in general, my husband knows me by heart, and we just clicked from the beginning.
Once, I told him to tease him that someone else had admitted his feelings for me. He saidâ nobody will love you like I doâ. At the time, I thought âyeah, rightâ, but afterwards I figured it was true.
The last time I met the guy at his place, I thought âIâd rather be home right nowâ, as things were starting to settle back from my side.
And thatâs how I knew it was over.
Now when I cross path with him and I have to hug him, I feel completely neutral. Itâs over.
The third phase: switching focus
Just like he used me for instant gratification, I used him for the lesson he had taught me.
He was complimenting me all the time, boosting my self-esteem.
I felt more desired and it started to impact my relationship with my husband. I started to feel more dary, more sexual, at ease. I broke down my barriers, physically with my man.
Iâve always been an adventurer, while my husband had a more traditional education. Especially after we had our first child, he could not combine "the mother and the whore". So, I had to take things a step further to feel sexually fulfilled, especially approaching 30, when you are reaching your sexual peak. I needed that.
This little adventure, I did it for me, not against anyone.
But at that stage in my life, I did not want my children to blame me later on for not having tried harder. For having destroyed their lives before giving my marriage a proper shot. So, I did everything I could to make it work, and it did. It brought us closer.
Funnily enough, Christian (the lover), had told me right from the beginning that our little affair could actually save my relationship, because it had happened with other women. At the time, it sounded silly...
Of course, I donât know what will happen in the future, maybe one day I will freak out and feel unsatisfied again. But right now, I am happy.
And I will always remember that lesson, of that time when I had doubts and managed to pick myself up.
And even if I suffered, I do not regret anything. Because he taught me so much, he changed me for the better, and it changed my relationship. Because sexuality is the strongest bond in a relationship.
Some people say: "you need to leave before you cheat". I disagree. I donât think it's worth ruining your life for a stupid side-story, to end up disappointed. I think that faithfulness is also coming back. And I also think that we shall keep our secret garden, there is no point in breaking someoneâs heart to ease oneâs conscience. Our secrets âmakeâ who we are".
Patricia is the first person I met who managed to use her desire for somebody else, to bring passion back to her relationship with her husband.
A lot of people donât try hard enough and thatâs why there are so many divorces. But if you believe that you are with the love of your life and that there is still a chance, do everything to save that. Give 200%, try anything, it is never over.
Just like a businesswoman: did you try everything to not let the company go bankrupt?
If you want things to change, you need to pay attention to things that your husband or boyfriend complains about, and change yourself instead of expecting him to do the work (and the other way around, obviously).
Some men do not communicate, they are just in a bad mood, and we have no idea of what we do wrong. Youâre always alone in life. Even if you are in a couple. Donât count on anybody. If you want things to change, change them, and be determined. And you need to be two to tango, so the other person needs to be responsive.
âWhatâs your take on that? How do you deal with your sexual drives?â
Estimated reading time: 4'
When my sister turned thirty, I gave her a card that read:
"Turning 30 is a celebration of the free-to-be-yourself decade:
Feeling comfortable in your own skin,
Realizing you can do whatever you put your mind to,
Being surrounded by loving friends and family,
Knowing your deserve to be happy".
I am 29, so I was curious to hear her feedback on that description: she agreed 100%.
"As time passes, the more I know myself, and the better I feel about myself," she says, "it's not related to age. It's a journey.
Everyone is not necessarily comfortable in their own skin at 30. But what is certain is that time has a positive impact on our well-being.We know what we love, and we choose to do what makes us feel good. We take more time to think about it and act upon it. It becomes a lifestyle, a wisdom almost. And if something does not please us, we change direction.
It seems simple, so why do so many of us remain in situations that do not suit us? A job? A relationship? Toxic habits?
I think the trigger was my independence. Most people have this revelation on average at 30, once they are out of school, have a stable situation, become financially independent. Relationships to our environment are freed from all these constraints and focus on the emotional, we preserve the long relationships, we have deeper, even more spiritual discussions.
For example, instead of investing only in ephemeral things as before (perfume, shoes, etc.), I also invest in sustainable things, like an apartment, it's quite revealing. When I eat, I try to eat well, whereas before I was swallowing potato crisps on my way home. I went back to sport ... So on.
I see. It is the age where one chooses one's life.
When I had my teenage crisis, it was difficult for me to differentiate between my desires, those of others and those of society. And how to get there when we do not recognize ourselves as individual, when we are still part of a group? At 30, we take independence from our social circle and our well-being is refocused on oneself .
On the other hand, attention not to be confused between being an individual and being an individualist! Others are essential to our happiness, be it in love, in friendship, or for any type of relationship.
The other day, I was listening to a podcast with sociologist Durkheim, explaining that the suicide rate was very low in united communities. I concluded that selfishness does not make happiness. To think about, know and accept oneself makes happiness, and once you've done that, you can direct your thoughts towards what the outside brings you and appreciate a good book, a painting, a meal, a person, or the contemplation of a landscape.
Self-love allows you to appreciate external pleasures better.
I have a small relaxation and beauty ritual that I practice every night without fail, for at least 45 minutes to do good to my body:
I start with a good hot shower with music, then I remove all the makeup and I put cream on every square millimeter of skin, from the toes to the neck, through the tips of the hair and the eyelashes, I stretch out, I make yoga greetings, I relax ...
Self-love is taking time for yourself.
The other day besides, at my yoga class, we were doing a stretching position and I was focusing on my body in motion and my breath.
The teacher said," Look at Pauline, she's in mindfulness!" He approached, crossed my feet behind my head and walked away.
Well, I found myself stuck and had to call for help (!), but the bottom line is that being satisfied with yourself and your body shell helps relieve tension as well!
To give a contradictory example, another participant was only giggling, scratching, dressing up, and so on. She could not let go, she could not just be there, feel the good waves, be satisfied with this moment of relaxation or the sun on her face.
Self-love is also consciousness of one's body.
Before, my happiness was defined exclusively in the intensity of the moment. Now I've realized that happiness is a global equilibrium, a sum of moments and emotions that fluctuate.
My relationship to time is different: when I was 15 years old, one year was 7% of my life. Today, one year is 3% of my life, it has nothing to do!
I am not afraid to grow old, but I am aware of having to develop and optimize my time. I do not want to waste it, so I become demanding.I focus on the quality of relationships with others, and I surround myself with people I find exceptional. Of course we do not always have discussions of intellectuals, we also take pleasure in passing superficial moments! And sometimes we can not talk to each other, but just be together, and feel good".
Self-love is awareness of time.
In conclusion: you have to be the person you want to talk to... I would like to have the chance to be my best friend or my boyfriend, or my sister ... (laughs) Helene, do you confirm ?!âș "
âAre you a person youâd like to meet? What is your own definition of self-love?â
Estimated reading time: 1'40
I've never really been a big yoga enthusiast, but I've been pushing myself to practice it to release stress and anxiety.
And while I lived in San Francisco, yoga was pretty much a must as most people incorporate it into their lifestyles, out there.
I usually go for Bikram or Power yoga since I am more inclined to practicing exhausting sports and push my body to its limits, but one day, I decided to give lyengar a shot (a type of yoga that focuses on pose and alignment).
As I was stepping out of the class, I chatted with the teacher, French as well, and asked her why she had chosen to teach that sport:
- "A couple years ago, I desperately needed to recenter and listen to my body.
I used to work in an office as a DHR. I was completely stressed out, could barely breathe. One day, I got diagnosed with a slipped disk. I was having terrible backache, and realized that I just hadn't been listening to my body at all.
So I took the diagnosis as a call for help. I decided to leave the corporate world and become a yoga teacher.
I quickly noticed that here in California, people were much more understanding and willing to help, which encouraged me to take this step, while people back in France were negative, doubtful and little inclined to support my new life choices.
I chose to teach lyengar yoga because it focuses heavily on body awareness. It might be perceived as "boring" at first sight, but since there is a lot of focus on the position and you get tons of instructions, it helps you relax, almost to a meditative state, contrary to punchy classes with loud music that distract you ..."
I could not prevent but smile, as I related to what she was saying. She understood in which category I was.
"Hyperactive, or even energetic people like you usually go for dynamic classes that correspond to their lifestyle, and the other way around... But you should find a class that completes you".
It took me a while to admit, but I believe she has a point. Being consistent with yoga and meditation (and massages ;)) actually does help beat the stress out.
âAre you a punchy person or a calm one? How do you you balance your energy?â
Estimated reading time: 1'40
I was stepping out of the supermarket when a homeless man, wearing a Buddhist robe, approached me, asking for food.
As I was carrying a bag full of groceries, I searched for a couple items to give him.
"I just want to warn you, he said, I only eat fruits and vegetables, I am vegan".
Being on a plant-based myself, I was quite impressed to see that he was making a point of honor to stick to his ethics and maintain his diet while being homeless, pretty much a matter of life and death.
Curious, I initiated a conversation.
After a few minutes, to "thank me" for the couple fruits I had given him, he decided to "warn me" about a religious prophecy he seemed to believe in.
He started explaining in great details that in a near future, a divine retribution would happen to all the homosexuals and that he needed to spread the word to turn them "back to heterosexuality" (NB: we were standing right by Castro in San Francisco, one of the first gay neighborhoods in the United States).
Now, I am not someone who gets worked up when I hear an opinion I disagree with.
Rather, I always try to understand where people stand, and find out where their beliefs come from. So I digged deeper.
As he justified his view on homosexuality, he ended up admitting that he "used to" be homosexual himself.
And there I understood. Some people base their fear (in this case, homophobia) on repressed urges they've been shamed for. They take out their internal frustration onto others, because they can't be who they really are, so why would anybody else?
As I always do, I, in turn, explained why I believed that each person should fully embrace who they are, do what they love, and see religion as a channel for love and acceptance, rather than hatred.
I never saw him again after that day. I like to believe that our conversation led him to want to stand up for his sexual orientation, just like he did with his diet.
That was the day I met a homeless vegan homosexual homophobic Buddhist.
Estimated reading time: 6'
I met Ruhana at a concert organized by common friends.
One of the biggest secrets she rarely discloses to anyone is her age. And when we became close enough, she told me she was 18. You could not tell by the way she speaks.
She can talk about any topic for hours.
She has this talent for connecting with people and connecting people: you put her alone in a room and she will leave with five friends.
She studies, has two jobs and multiple side-projects, and is part of various ethnic, feminist, spiritual and artistic communities.
As we were chatting about her involvement with minorities, I asked her where it all started.
"Far back. I come from a highly disciplined and traditional family in New Jersey. I studied at a preppy private school. Money was never an issue. People's family name and size house represented their status. One of my friends owned a jet, another one had a monthly $500 allowance; that was normal. Naturally, my friends and I selected people to hang out with based on level of intellect and status. Kids from public school were considered 'improper and unsheltered'. We also would select friends according to their ethnicity. There was only one African American in my school and no Hispanic students. Even as a first generation Bengali American, possessing fair skin was the standard. I always made sure to hide my darker hands under the table, or in my pockets.
One of the core values that was instilled in me since attending that school was practicing discipline to earn respect.
At home, my parents were expecting me to know everything about all sorts of topics (physics, politics, conspiracy, etc) from a very young age. And at school, I'd get a fine if I wore grey socks instead of white, for instance. We were all expected to go to Ivy leagues and land a 6-figure salary job. The GPA determined my entire life and my worth to society. The "A" defined confidence, and I would beat myself up for anything less than that".
I tease her about her current 4.7 grade on Uber.
"Yeah I donât understand why Uber drivers are judging me so hard...!" We laugh.
"On the other hand, everything was granted, including the teacher's behaviour. Students would have their parents make appointments with the principle if they were unsatisfied with their fixed grades. To be honest, I never realized I was entitled to good treatment until I went out of that situation. I never even learned how to register for my own classes or find classrooms on my own since we were given designated point of contacts to find classes for us on the first day of school.
When I turned 13 years old, I went on a trip to a spiritual Islamic retreat in Tarim, Yemen, for 40 days. In that specific city, it is said that the sun purifies the dirt of your soul.
We spent the days praying in a sacred atmosphere, which opened up the doors to a spirituality that I had never been exposed to before. I understood that life was more than the materialistic things I was exposed to back home. Through a new perspective of religion, I discovered a deeper relationship with a higher being, and gained a new outlook on life and people.
Each Friday evening, a spiritual celebration was taking place where a congregation of women would be gathering, singing, dancing and playing instruments. Each person would play their own music, though somehow manage to all sync together. They were all living fully in the present, enjoying with what little they had. Their inner beauty and independence was glowing.
There were people from all parts of the world; Germany, France, Russia, Malaysia and so on. They had different ideologies, different upbringings. I figured that everybody's life is customized to bring up the best of themselves.
What happens in their lives defines their personality and crafts their motives for doing things. Once, a clerk at a store, a complete stranger, invited my family and I over for dinner during the stay. She hosted us in such a grand manner with a huge feast of kafsa, an enticing Arabian dish of perfectly seasoned meat and rice. The rest of her family members sat down to put henna on our hands. It seemed so unreal I got skeptical. I supposed she would be asking us for help after she hosted us. It was hard to fathom that she hosted us purely out of kindness. I asked her why she was feeding us in Arabic. And she responded with one word as if the answer was obvious, âYaâani adaab.â âI mean...itâs etiquette.â A sense of morality came to thin air and I wondered, âWhy arenât we this nice in America?â.
Again, this made me embrace and respect each individualities more, differences and viewpoints, as well as taking pride in my own views and values and learned to differentiate between the real and the fake. I became interested in understanding behaviours and people.
I redefined knowledge: I was not learning for the sake of learning anymore, because of peer pressure or for the best GPA, rather, I wanted to learn out of genuine curiosity.
Obtaining supplementary knowledge rather than studying the American education system's redundant core curriculum seemed more important to me. So I decided to homeschool for the next 5 months upon my move to California at 15, unaware of the detrimental social consequences. Although the silently killing isolation drove me insane, I was able to learn more about myself and internalize everything around me.
In California, the state of liberalism to the max, I referred to myself as a FOE, fresh off the East. Weâre pretty ignorant about racial diversity there. I re-evaluated how I saw people of color; taught myself how to humanize people based on John Lockeâs principles of natural rights. I unlearned racist behavior and mentality.
After I switched over to public school, I also began to understand the importance of sisterhood, tied with female empowerment. Insecure but âpopularâ girls at Santa Clara High swooned over immature foolish boys. Subtle sexism was everywhere from high school to corporate employment.
From body gestures to language, gender discrimination became more prevalent as I started college. I decided to experiment with men; 21 men in the span of three months to be exact. I kept a mental report of my dates' different characteristics associated with races, occupations, ethnicity, their views of women and expectations. Getting hugged rather than having my hand shook in a group full of men; being called an attention seeker for dressing too âprovocativelyâ; being asked why I come home late on the weekends; encountering mansplaining on a daily basis by bosses, colleagues, and friends; my 40 year old male roommate denying that sexual assault is even a real thing; being asked why I go to the gym because my figure didnât imply it was necessary; friends not believing things happening to me non-consensually. Getting mistreated as a women subtly was something I could no longer tolerate. The values of self respect I learned at school were put in place in my childhood for this reason. Self respect implies the intolerance of bullshit. And in hopes of ending such patriarchal bullshit, Iâm planning to start a nonprofit to empower young women in a few years down the line. I embrace my own self. I know who I am, what I like and what I want.â
By switching her focus from "having the best grades" to "real-life experience" through being confronted to different social, spiritual, artistic and ethnic environments, she has become exponentially more curious, open-minded and comfortable networking, and so can anybody,
why competion is good, but skipping burnouts is better - with Julia Kerguelen
I met Julia as she was visiting my apartment in Los Angeles, a while ago.
She was working as an Art Director in events and a VFX producer in advertising in Paris and had come to LA for a few months to test the water.
She wanted to move out of France and though it could be a good fit. In other words, another french female landed in California, in the creative field! Not that common.
She had had her turning point at 15 years old, back to when she was a Modern Jazz dancer; and a double cervical sprain, caused by a Physiologist who did a bad spine manipulation, crushed her dream of becoming a professional dancer.
She had then become a professional actress and after a few years of performing and multiplying part-time jobs, she decided to move to Paris and found a Graphic art school to attend classes at.
Before getting there she had to know perfectly the softwares, so she worked like crazy with books and finally passed the test.
Quickly she became an art director for events bigger and bigger till she worked with very famous brands such as Renault, Michelin, Coca-Cola or Armani with global budgets up till 10MâŹ.
« I used to work so much that my health was in the background and I disconnected my body from my brain, my essential needs (eating proper meals, sleeping enough, sustaining a social life, etc) were my slightest preoccupation.
Each time I finished a project, I was really sick like my body had to make me stop for real.
Then one day, seeing my health going down as well as my colleagues', I thought it wasnât fun anymore and finally decided to stop burning the candle at both ends.
Looking back, my vision of success has completely changed since.
Iâm still someone who loves to set the bar high for myself. Iâve won several awards and competitions (Top Com dâOr, Heavent award...). I want to be the best at what I do, whether thatâs creating a new event concept or adding that one last sparkle on a clientâs TV commercial.
I donât put all my energy in one bucket. I learn different expertises to create my own unique blend.
But the noticeable difference now is that I set up time to breathe.
I might work 90 hours a week at times, but I make sure to meditate, to have a healthy diet, to work out, to read books or spend time in nature doing things that I love.
And if I canât spend any quality time with myself, I'd listen to binaural beats at work and book a retreat far away to unwind and recenter, as a treat!
My physical and mental health come first, and that reverberates in my work.
My personal mantra is « do it fully or not at all » and I would add « but remember that you come first » because if you donât commit and work towards what you want, no one else will do it for you and itâs a waste of time and energy.
The vision I want to share is to do what you love, take your chance no matter what you want to achieve everything you need is already within you.
At some point, I lost track of who I was and I want to use my story to encourage younger generation to follow their dreams and work hard for themselves, without compromising their soul and health.
Estimated reading time: 1'
I am one of those who likes to try new experiences. Including workouts.
So I showed up one day to a circus class, excited learn how to climb on a trapeze and wind around aerial silks.
Acrobatic arts are one of those sports that looks so gracious and easy, but when you try it for the first time, you understand the high level of dexterity and strength required.
As I was asking the teacher, Alexa, for tips, she simply told me:
"Just do it.
Don't think don't think about falling.
This is a general life advice".
As I was repeatedly failing at mastering the movements in style, my frustration was growing, and I wondered how it was like for her when she started to practice:
"It was exactly the same.
Actually, the silks are my favourite types of acrobatics BECAUSE they are the most challenging (in my opinion), not like the trapeze or aerial hammock, on which you can sit and rest.
So keep pushing until you reach "the wall".
The wall... It got me thinking.
Anything new is difficult at first.
Like climbing a wall. It gets more and more difficult as you go. You do not see the end of it. You think about the pain. You're close to giving up.
Until you eventually reach a turning point.
"When you get to the other side of the wall, you get more pleasure.
You feel more comfortable, strong, aware of your body. You find muscles you didn't know you had or needed.
You feel like possibilities are endless, there is no finish line.
You can keep being creative and do new things".
I have kept this symbol in mind ever since that day.
âAnd you, which wall have you climbed?â
Estimated reading time: 4'20
I met Brian in a hostel in LA, on the day I signed my contract and knew that I'd be moving there. Naturally, I had to mingle and celebrate.
We quickly figured that we had a lot in common, among which: a thirst to travel, a need to challenge ourselves, a concern for ecology and a plant-based diet.
But Brian had been through a lot and taken the "travelling" and "challenging" parts of his life to a whole new level.
He told me that his life took a turn after he had fully renovated a wealthy businessman's luxury house for over a year.
The man had promised him lots of things, but once the work was finished and the house sold for several hundreds of thousands of dollars, he ghosted. Stopped answering the phone, email, social media, to eventually threaten Brian with legal action for slander if he spoke out. Brian reluctantly turned silent in fear of mobster like tactics..
He then spent over a year on a legal case, working with the California labour commissioner, only to find out his case had disappeared and subsequently the statute of limitations had run out. He had reached the bottom. Desperate but realistic, he looked at the stars that night, and decided to stop fighting and move on.
He had lost everything, so he had to sell everything he owned but his van, in which he eventually ended up living in for over a year. He wasn't as exposed as those who live on the street, but he still had become homeless.
"For a long time, I was filled with anger and despair, he says.
But one day, someone walked past the van and said "Hey, you got a cool setup there!".
It got me thinking. I learned that there was a whole subculture of van dwellers and people modifying vehicles to live and travel in. That's when I started to see things in a new light.
I stopped seeing myself as homeless and started realising my freedom and thinking of the possibilities.
I managed to get a job and immediately tore my van to pieces and started building and retrofitting. It was a mess and required more work than anticipated, though.
I did have quite a lot of building, engineering and designing experience from doing construction and working on film and television shows along with being the son of a mechanic.
See how Brian pimped his ride on his Youtube channel here
I always stress that all this isn't the important part for getting things done though. It's getting out of feeling stuck in life, and thinking outside our usual patterns that matters.
As for what gave me the energy... I think I've always just had the ability to snap out of bad situations and regain motivation. Sometimes it takes a while but I'll eventually feel sick of myself and pull myself up!"
After rebuilding the van, Brian decided to take off on a road trip alone through California, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, Washington and Oregon states, and came back as a changed man.
His relationship with people:
"Now that I am back, I think I value genuine connections between people more than ever. Even to the point of longing for it most of the time. Chit chats and small talk seem more pointless than ever. Honesty between two people is such a beautiful thing but unfortunately so rare.
Maybe that's why I prefer nature. It never seizes to amaze and inspire me. The feeling of being connected to everything and acknowledging a whole universe in a leaf or a raindrop is a humbling an awe-inspiring experience".
His relationship with money:
"Although I'd prefer to be largely independent of money, I realize its importance within the parameters of modern society. I know how hard it can be to make a buck so I don't waste it. Having said that I think our modern obsession with consumerism serves only to make us less happy in the long run. Not to mention it destroys our planet!".
His project:
"Following the incredible reception of my short film #VanLife â From Homeless To Adventurer, I may do some more adventurous and philosophical videos. For now I am moving back to Europe for a while to spend some much overdue quality time with my family. I may throw on my backpack and travel through India, Asia and Africa. That will mostly be shoestring budget backpacking without a vehicle".
Are you homeless, or do you know someone who is and want to give a chance to the van life?
"When you're down and out every single thing you do has a consequence. So, you have to be as wise and persistent as you can until you get back on your feet.
Don't waste anything and put on a happy face.
I realize this may not be genuine but unfortunately you're very dependent on others when you're homeless.
Lastly don't allow for situations where you can get screwed over!
In regards to trying the #VanLife? Go for it. Try it out before you buy or without all the bells and whistles to see if it's for you. Remember nothing's perfect, everything has drawbacks. And van life isn't free, it's just a lot cheaper than paying rent in most cases.
I personally think that taking this chance has empowered me to take bigger risks. Not be so afraid of the consequences. I suppose I've become more of what I really want to be. I don't like wasting time anymore. I realize life is short and we may only have one go at this..."
Estimated reading time: 3'30
I've always admired Minimalists. Those people who flip the bird to our materialistic society and are satisfied with the bare minimum.
So I was curious to know how my roommate Mark had become one.
"It was back in 2010. I was a typical Investment Banker in NYC at the time. Roughless, ultra ambitious, liberate materialistic. In the world I lived in, the very rich wanted to be ultra rich and show that they had the good life. Money had become an ego thing.
To feel very happy for the rest of their lives, they felt that they had to be known, rich and powerful. Their lives were all about status, wanting more. First having a house in the Hampton, then in Saint Tropez, then becoming a millionaire, a billionaire etc. And I was on the fast track to becoming one of them.
My Managing Director at the time was deep into that lifestyle. He was spending 250 000 dollars a month on rent for different apartments. He used to eat brunch at Saint Ambrose, the kind of places that would gather the creme of the Upper East Side, where the table where you sit matters and displays your social status. He was also fascinated by models, young blonde Russians bimbos, which would eventually cause the end of his marriage.
One night, while I was celebrating Christmas Eve with my family, he asked to come over to his place. He asked me to stop by and have dinner with him because he had no one around him (his wife had left him and his daughter hated him), so I showed up. He cried.
That night, he said 'you remind me of myself when I was young'. At the time, I took it as a compliment, but looking back at it, I'd do anything to not end up like him. He was not happy.""Two months after that night, the seed had sprouted in my head. I completely changed my lifestyle.
I quit my job, moved out of NYC, applied for Business school, somehow got accepted. I also got involved in a serious relationship, which was easier now that I had a 9 to 5 schedule and was free on the weekends.
Eventually, I decided to travel and had to get rid of all of the stuff that I could not carry around in a bag: I left them in a storage room and ended up forgetting about them.
When I got back home a year later, my things had been auctioned. Surprisingly, I was not upset, I actually felt relieved. I got forced to become a minimalist, but then I liked it.
Here is how it works:
I only buy what I really need. I do not feel the urge to spend money on things anymore as much, and I'd rather buy one expensive thing than 10 cheap crap.
For example for clothes, there's an app that I use called Stitch fix. They follow me on Pinterest, analyse my style and send me minimalist clothes, and I send back what I do not like.
-
I'd rather spend money on experiences anyways: travels, festivals, drinks with good friends etc... I'm a lot more content this way.
-
Same goes with people, I'd rather have 5 reliable friends than 100 fake ones.
-
I have not become a hippy that does not care about money, but I do not rely on external factors (wether it is money, things, love in fact) to make me happy, it comes from inside.
-
I know that I have to take care of myself (watch my sleep, diet, health in general), be self-aware, know myself really well to make decisions that truly make me happy. One tip to get to know yourself better is to start figuring out why you get angry: dig deep on the source of your anger (it could go as far as childhood). Once you understand yourself better, you also understand others and develop empathy. And as a result, you'll get less annoyed by others, happier.
-
I still want to be successful, but not to prove anything to other people. I do not care about other people's opinions anymore. I ignore their power games, the gossips, the politics. It is like poison.
-
Now I create value (I am a Product Manager), and it feels more fulfilling because I have a meaning.
Having money and being happy is not contradictory, as long as you have a purpose, I think.Look at Warren Buffet. He is a minimalist, he is the ultimate role model, the second richest man in the planet, he lives a very simple life and he is happy."
One week later, as I was about to move to a different city, I got rid of 75% of my things so that everything could fit into one luggage.
A first step towards the Minimalist lifestyle.
âAnybody else has given Minimalism a try?â
Rafael
I met Rafael de Jesus as I was visiting one of the seven wonders, the ruins of Chichen Itza in Yucatan, Mexico.
He had lived his whole life right by the ruins.
As a child, he used to climb up to the top of the temple, feel its energy, and picture himself as the king.
He had witnessed quiet fields and chewing cows being slowly replaced with loud and colourful tourists, and had become one of the most passionate guides and archeologists you'd ever meet.
He had spent his life researching the Mayan and Aztec's empires: a large part of their cultures was dedicated to religious and spiritual beliefs.
He told me that while Mayans would connect with Gods through prayers, Aztecs would use religion to manipulate people into become either slaves or sacrifice offers.
Indeed at the time, game winners were honoured to die, as they would skip the 13 steps to heaven and head there directly.
The kings ulterior motives at the time being to get the work done, and drastically solve overpopulation.
Few people, if any, were aware that religion was used as a mean to control them.
We could easily draw a parallel in today's use of religion in politics to manipulate masses... As per the metaphoric quote from the Matrix movie, "people are not ready to disconnect".
That's anyways how Rafael has always thought of Spirituality and religions: stories coming from the imagination of leaders.
So one day, as he was in charge or restoring a temple, he decided to trespass instructions and enter the unopened temple, without waiting for a Shaman to give its blessing... What could happen anyways?
Little did he expect that he would be completely change his mind about the existence of spirits.
So he & his colleagues went inside the ruin that had never been opened before, without a Shaman's permission.
They ALL felt a strong evil energy, the sensation that they should not be there, that they were surrounded by an unexplainable force, and that something bad would happen if they sticked around.
"You don't believe it until you experience it.
Now, Mayan and Aztecs rituals make better sense. I truly believe all the stories I tell tourists.
Actually, now with the expansion of technology, information spreads more easily than ever and we hear a lot of other unexplainable stories, ghosts or UFOs for example. Even if there is not scientific proof, I think that there are paranormal activities out there".
âAnybody else has had a similar experience?â
Estimated reading time: 1'
I lost my job due to a change in strategy.
30 days to pack my bags & leave the USA.
I had left my country, my boyfriend & my job for this opportunity, all to end in a snap.
With no plan in mind, I took a soul-searching trip to Mexico.
Never in my life have I come across so many signs from the Universe.
I discovered that, when most vulnerable, you become fully aware of your surroundings.
You hang on to anything and everything that will give you strength.
The encouragement of a stranger.
Lyrics of a song on the radio.
The quote in a fortune cookie.
Someoneâs tattoo.
The name of a bar.
Timing.
Dreams.
And you start to trust them.
As my roomie said: âYouâre lucky, few people get to start on a blank pageâ Reboot.I had to decide of the next step.
What is my value?
What do I want?
Where to next?
I burned through my savings.
Reached out to all my friends.
Traveled hours for interviews.
Showed up to companies unannounced. Moved from one couch to another.
Started a blog.
Created a portfolio.
I go after my dreams. I am surrounded by opportunities.
Visa deadline, what-ifs? Forgotten.
Every step I take leads me closer to my goal.
I am confident that it is a matter of days before I sign my dream job.
âWhen you are facing tough times, are you the victim or the risk-taker?â
Estimated reading time: 4'
The night I met my new roommate, I had just lost my job and was overly anxious.
After exchanging a few introductions, he told me that he had a lot of energy and could share some with me, preparing a âball of energyâ between his hands â if you can picture that. He approached me and asked to put his hand on my chest. Caught unaware, I accepted.
After 3 or 4 deep breaths though, and without completely understanding how, I suddenly felt much better, like relieved of a weight...
Intrigued, I asked him if this âenergy thingâ was magical.
"- I did not believe in this either at first!
- So how did you get introduced to it?
- A few years ago, I started a pursuit of enlightment. I wasnât a cool kid growing up. I was shy, not good at dating or with friends. I thought Iâd have to live with that, that this was engrained in me. Until I learnt that it was possible to master social dynamics, and alter my own energy and vibration. I have learnt certain tricks: eye contact, charisma, confidence, body energy⊠Those are skills that you can train, like leadership.
In 2014, I had a depression, I felt that I was trapped, hiding behind a mask so friend recommended that I'd go to a landmark farm. It is a transformational workshop consisting in deep psychological work, that helps people break out of their limited beliefs in a group.
This was succesful so I tried other things. I've learned about chakras, I've participated in "Interchange", a counseling program, and the "Authentic Man Program", which teaches you the masculine/feminine dynamics. I've been to naked camps, where everybody opens up and gives love to each other, freely, without the constraint of clothes. I also do daily meditation and yoga for body awareness and have a Tantra lifestyle, which helps being conscious of my energy and the ones of my partners.
There's also the orgasmic meditation. It is another group experience during which you meditate and stroke other people while focusing on body awareness, rather than seeing it as a sexual experience. I used to not be attuned to my "energy body" so this was a vulnerable experience that unlocked emotions the first time: I cried for the first time in 20 years. In other words, you can compare this experience to the healing of your inner child. It also improves your relationships to others. The male gives, and the female receives. Once you do this, you break a lot of fears when it comes to approaching women...
Another impactful experience I've had was with psychedelics: LSD, mushrooms, Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca is made from a vine in the Amazon forest â it's cooked and you drink its sludgy liquid, while a shaman calls in the spirit. You feel that "Loving Mother Earth Spirit" enters your body, to heal you psychologically, spiritually and emotionally. You start having visions and puke out energetic patterns. It shows you what you need to see, for example, the next steps you need to take for your company. That's why Ayahuasca is known as the "CEO drug".
I personally had visions of my dad, whom I hadn't seen in 3 years. I bought a plane ticket to meet him and resolve our issues and forgive him. He passed away the following week.
- How can this be explained?
- All those experiences are created by you, your brain in the end, but set up by those activities. You cannot "pretend". Especially the ahayuaska that really gives you very strong body reactions, it is difficult to imagine that it is only the brain making things up.
Also I've once been asked to hold a kryptonite, not knowing the effect it would have on my body. And suddenly I started to feel extremely warm and had to undress, to then learn that kryptonites are full of energy, which spreads into you as you touch them.
- So do you feel like you are done with all those experiences, or are you still in quest for spirituality?
- There are no limits to human capacities, I've grown faster than I ever had, I am on an accelerating ramp. There's always the next workshop to attend, the next article or book to read.
- What have you learned so far?
- That the number one priority as as human is spiritual awakening, not money. I used to be cheap â now I'd rather invest in myself and it is paying off, I am much happier, self confident and can have intimate connections and experiences. The Universe is not random, there is a master plan, and everything is happening FOR us not TO us, so we have to listen to the signs, listen to our bodies and be present, in order to achieve enlightment".
Estimated reading time: 3'
I was having my housewarming party when I met "Philip from the Philippines". We were having drinks, listening to loud music and discussing how he had ended up in California. He had come to America with his mom and sister when he was three years-old to grow up on the West Coast, but he was not aware of the reason for the move until recently.
One day, while he was at college doing his homework when he received a notification on Linkedin:
"- This strange man was saying that he had been looking for me forever and that he was my dad. At first, I was skeptical and thought it was a scam... So I tested him and asked for proofs. He suggested that Iâd send him my email address so heâd tell me everything I needed to know. Still suspicious, I gave him my spam address.
15 minutes later, I received his email, so curious, I opened it. In there, in poor English, he was telling stories about my childhood. I read on. Itâs when I opened the attachments that my heart dropped: There were a birth certificate and pictures of me and my family⊠I recognized my mother and my grandmother.
It felt like a dream or a movie. I was thinking âThis isnât real". My parents had met young, at school, and they loved each other. My mum was 16 and she had started her own business, after having learned to design clothes for Louis Vuitton, and my dad was an engineer. When my mother got pregnant with me, they decided to start a new life in the States, to offer me a better future. The plan was for my mum to establish herself first, marry an American citizen, get a house, and my dad would join us after he would finish his studies".
His mother and the American citizen fell in love, so she cut all contacts with his dad, and changed her and Philâs names. Later on, she would give birth to his sister.
"- My dad told me about my original name, Abdelkarim, a Middle-Eastern name. Now my nickname is Abe. When he told me about my motherâs name, originally Edna (now renamed Edesna), thatâs when I began putting the pieces together. It was the name that my auntie used when she and my mum used to fight...
Growing up, all my friends at school said that my sister and I looked nothing alike. My step-father was abusive to me, but not her. After they got divorced, only my sister got to spend the weekends at his house. I had lost a father figure. My older cousin was the one who taught me everything, from playing basketball to dating girls. I thought that my (step) dad hated me.
Now I know why: I reminded him of my motherâs past. Right now, I am saving to pay back my student loans, but soon, Iâll get a ticket to visit my real dad, who now lives in Germany.
-
Whatâs your conclusion of all of this?
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Well, this was painful, but it was a big eye opener. I have become stronger, a better person, I stopped hanging out with the wrong people.
I stopped feeling guilty, not good enough. And I have forgiven. I tattooed a Phoenix on my arm, the Phoenix rising from the ashes, symbolizing second chances, and a dragon, symbol of strength and wisdom".
Estimated reading time: 2'20
Last Friday night, I stumbled upon an old friend in a bar in Stockholm. It was quite a surprise because he hasnât gone out much since heâs had children.
In Sweden, having children is a much smoother process than in many other parts of the world. As a parent, you get plenty of paid time off (480 days per child at 80â100% of your salary, to be precise), you get to work from home, finish earlier, etc, so you can fully relax and embrace parenthood.
Being myself in my late 20s, more and more of my friends are having families, and Iâve heard a few times that before you have children, you had better enjoy going out and travel as much as you can. So unsurprisingly, my first question was:
"- Donât you miss this life, though?
- Not really, actually I canât wait to go home".
Oh, OK. As I tried to not take this comment personally, he continued.
"- Itâs fun going out, but Iâve had my time. I used to party a lot, be selfish, go after the money, buy things like clothes and cars for my own pleasure. But I didnât know what I was working hard for, I had no purpose. Now I do.
-
It sounds like you were a zombie and woke up from the dead!
-
Yeah, pretty much. One day, my girlfriend brought me a napkin on which was written âBaby onboardâ. I didnât get why she showed me that at first since we werenât trying to conceive, but once I understood she was carrying my child, I was over the moon. That day, it felt like God came to me and said: âBurre, from now on, you are a different personâ. And I became a better person.
I started to treat my girlfriend like a princess. I wanted to know how she was doing, what she was thinking about at any time, I had to make sure that she was safe, that the baby was safe. And whatever we used to fight about did not matter anymore. Thereâs been a switch: I now have a purpose, I know why I wake up in the morning, why I work hard. My family is everything for me and Iâd do anything for them.
Thereâs just no way to describe the feeling you have when you hold your baby for the first time and he looks at you in the eyes. And when your child smiles at you, it is the best sensation in the world. This is when life begins.
It is interesting to see that, when you have not experienced this, you think that your life will end. But when you are on the other side, it begins. itâs just different chapters.- I canât wait for you to have your own, youâll understand, ended Burre, confident.
- I will⊠One day. But first, more parties and more traveling :)".
Estimated reading time: 3'
It is commonly known that Swedish people (in particular those from Stockholm) are referred to as âcoldâ or ânot easy to approachâ. Having lived there myself for 5 years, I have noticed that compared to other countries, they are indeed not very keen on small talk nor having any sort of interactions with strangers. Just google âwaiting for the bus like a Swedeâ to see for yourself (and crack a smile).
Thatâs anyways where Patrick grew up. A couple weeks ago, he spent a weekend with his cousin in Copenhagen, and went out to a bar. Despite being originally âhungover, tired, and not in a party moodâ, he ended up spending one of the best evenings of his life.
"We went out, had a few drinks, no more than usual, and started to talk to random people sitting next to us, also Swedish.
First, a guy asked us if the seat next to us was taken, I said âSure, as long as you turn your back at us and do not talk to us!â, half joking. Another one asked to smell my cousinâs drink, and he let her take a sip, which heâd never usually suggest. We all ended up talking for 5 hours until the place closed down, then headed to a club and let loose on the dance floor until it closed at the break of dawn.
It was all a coincidence, everything was just smooth from the taste of the food, to conversations, to the music..."
But was is really just a coincidence? Why did he completely let loose with strangers, for once?
"I just felt a connection with other people I havenât felt in a long time. I didnât feel the need to impress, and was 100% myself. I used to convince myself that I did not enjoy meeting new people, because fear was taking over. What if they did not like me? It would have reflected my own low self-esteem. That night, I figured that I had it all wrong. I used to see âbeing accepted & being specialâ as my lifeâs mission, until I accepted that other peopleâs expectations, opinions and wills were theirs, not mine.
I originally understood this after studying Biocentrism*, which gave me a clear understanding of life, our purpose and relationships. As soon as you stop trying to please everyone, you become your own boss. I feel good about myself now, which means that I can BE myself, and consequently, others can also appreciate my personality, which was confirmed that night. I felt a flush of satisfaction and pride the next morning, which led me to want to start being more social, open, travel more, change my business and do something with my life. Live it to the fullest so to speak".
Living in a society where people have to be someone special, do something special, live to expectations, seems to have a heavy impact on peopleâs self-confidence in social environments, in particular in Stockholm, according to Patrickâs experience... It made it harder for him to open up and make new acquaintances. But the cocktail of those 3 things seem to do the trick:
- Having a special connection
- Letting go of social fears (being abroad, where nobody knows you & you can reinvent yourself, helps, as well as alcohol, the infamous social lubricant)
- Topped with some background work on self-confidence
_
*NB: Biocentrism is a theory developed by the physiologist Robert Lanza that explains that life creates the Universe, is infinite, and that there are as many realities as there are people.
Estimated reading time: 3'
We were on a bus ride to the Russian river when my roommate Rob and I started to discuss about life-changing moments. He is quite a laid-back and private guy, which made the confession of his personal experience all the more intriguing. He got his one day, while on acid (LSD). It was an experience that had never happened with other drugs; other substances he tried would actually make him feel miserable at some point, either physically or mentally. That day, after having swallowed the drug and as the substance started to kick, he started to step deep into his soul, reflecting around his emotions.
"Drugs help you realise that everything is a result of the decisions you make, including your emotions, your thoughts. Emotions are like a flame on your arm, you can decide to either blow them off or let them burn you.
I also started to become aware of every single cell forming my body, interacting to keep me alive, without having to actively think about it or consciously act on it. Every part of our bodies make us who we are, when all we really know is our skin. While on LSD, your mind is clear, but your visual experience is different, sharper, brighter, bolder, kind of like the screen saver of a computer.
As I looked at myself in the mirror, I touched the glass, trying to reach out to my reflection, amazed to discover every single detail of my appearance, noticing my facial features, the mannerism of my body, as if it were for the very first time.
When walking around alone, I could see how amazing the world around me truly was, how each little detail had been created with such perfection, and the fact that surprisingly, all seemed to work and make sense".At that point of the story, I almost wanted to try acid myself, but I focused on the lesson he had learnt: the common denominator of all those emotional, physical and mental disruptions, was a deep feeling of thankfulness and appreciation.
Rob continues: "I, like most people, used to take my comfort and security for granted, from the clothes I wore, to the coffee I drank in the morning. Yet, we were born in a moment of history when the biggest problems of humanity have already been solved: unlimited access to water and electricity, shelter, preventable diseases, to name a few. We forget that we were born into it a world that was not made this way. But we never think about it. Do you ever?
In comparison to the future too, thereâs a lot to be thankful for. We do not know how life will look a hundred years forward⊠Most likely, looking at the current evolution and trends, our lives will become more superficial, social interactions will decrease. We will thrive with our laziness. And virtual reality will take away the journey. For example, letâs say you want to travel, you do not have to go to Australia anymore. You skip the line at the airport and the 30+ hours on the plane. You simply put a VR headset on and itâs like you are there.
The best part of this awakening moment is that Rob has been keeping this sensation ever since:
"I now see the world differently, I realise how small we are in the grand scheme, and I more appreciative of what I have".
We seem to live in a world where everything is taken for granted, where we expect to get everything right here right now, and the more we have, the less we appreciate all the good things we see, own or get to experience. We shouldnât need to wait for something drastic to happen to be reminded of how good life is and to be thankful for it. Letâs wake up and remind ourselves every day instead.
_
Disclaimer: This blog is intended to be informative only and represents solely the personal experience of interviewees. This blog is not meant to promote use of any drugs.
Estimated reading time: 1'
It was a Thursday afternoon. As I was waiting impatiently for the bus, I noticed a man next to me, holding a white cane. He was standing dangerously close to the road, though surprisingly relaxed, smiling. We stroke a conversation about the bus being late as usual.
Out of curiosity, I asked him if he had always been blind. He hadnât. He was a veteran who got assaulted on his way home late at night many years back, in that same neighborhood of San Francisco.
A punch on the head had left him blind, âall this for 20 dollars in my pocket!â, he shot.
He had to learn patiently the way between his home and the food store, the only route he could take alone, counting each step. He wanted to learn to use a phone. His earplugs had gotten stolen in front of him, and people tricked him regularly, taking advantage of his handicap.
But he was not sour and had found ways to enjoy life despite the terrible consequences of that one night.
âThatâs lifeâ, he concluded.He had no anger, no need for victimisation. He was genuinely happy, enjoying the little moments, like this conversation with me, and the sensation of the sun on his skin.
Food for thought for someone who was anxious over a late bus, five minutes earlier.