Decoding Learning Differences with Kimberlynn Lavelle: Recent Episodes
Kimberlynn Lavelle
I teach parents how to educate their own children (especially those with struggling learners) so that they can successfully and peacefully homeschool or provide supplemental education at home. This podcast will discuss: - various learning disabilities and challenges, including: ADHD, dyslexia, autism, processing disorders, and so much more! - how all people learn - different learning styles - strategies for supporting specific learning challenges - how to apply these learning strategies at home - stories from homeschooling parents -interviews from other experts
One thing I often hear discussed is whether a child “needs” a particular accommodation. Another common discussion is around whether a label is beneficial or harmful to a child.
There is a lot of challenging nuance in both of these.
Listen in to this week’s podcast to hear some of my thoughts on the topic. Then, hit reply and let me know your thoughts!
How has your summer been going?
Have you checked in on any of those skills your child had to fight extra hard to achieve? Has there been some “summer slide”?
First, know that “summer slide” is perfectly normal.
Second, listen to this week’s episode to know what to do about it.
Then, let me know what you need to be more successful!
If you’re wondering how to best educate your child, be sure to listen to this episode! There is no one-size-fits-all approach to education, but there are many more options than you may have realized.
In this conversation, we talk with Dr. Norrine Russell, the Founder & CEO of Russell Coaching & Consulting. We go into ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, as well as technology's role in education and SO much more!
Russell Coaching for Students, a nationally recognized practice supporting complex learners—uses an innovative method of coaching for complex students, including those who have ADHD, Autism, or Anxiety; and those with learning differences.Since 2009, her approach has helped thousands of students thrive, while also guiding parents and neurodiverse adults.
With over 20 years of experience in youth development and parenting education, Dr. Russell blends deep expertise in psychology, education, and positive parenting philosophies.
Check out RussellCoaching.com and use coupon code: RUSSELL26
This week we're chatting with Jonathan Treiber of Skil-Care on the podcast. We discuss how a child’s environment may impact their learning and what we can do for these students to better support them.
Although Skil-Care is a company selling products, they also want you to view them as a resource to learn more about how to best support your kids with sensory needs.
Jonathan Treiber, CEO of Skil-Care (LinkedIn)
website: https://skil-care.com/
What has your experience with technology been with your kids?
Are you able to give unlimited screen time with no consequences?
Does your kid become an unrecognizable monster after 20 minutes of video games?
Have you noticed any impact in their learning?
Do you use educational apps with your kids?
I would LOVE to know all of these answers! Please email me at Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com and give me any insights into what you are seeing experiencing in your own home!
This week, I’m beginning what I expect will be a series of episodes diving into the use and role of technology in education and with our students.
In future episodes, I plan to interview experts in the field and go deeper into the research and solutions.
Listen to this week’s episode, and then email me at Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com and let me know your thoughts and experiences! I REALLY want to hear from you!
Later this month is my birthday and one tradition I have is to give gifts on my birthday as a way to celebrate my life with those around me. It’s a tradition my dad demonstrated and I always thought was lovely. I don’t do it every year and mostly just for my kids, but this year is different!
Almost 2 years ago I created an IEP checklist to help you do what I do for my clients and the tech gods were not on my side. For some reason, it would never SEND the dang emails with the pdf for you! I’ve messed with it over the years and FINALLY got it working, just in time for my birthday! AND for you to enjoy the end of the school year with this in hand!
When working with clients, I go through every part of an IEP to ensure it is well-written, accurate, and is working toward reasonably ambitious goals.
With this PDF download, you can now do the same thing! The PDF links to videos that go deeper into some of these topics to help you better determine how to support your kiddo and how to best evaluate your kiddo’s IEP.
https://yourparenthelp.com/iep-checklist
Click here to watch the podcast!
Message kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com if you would like individualized support for your child's IEP.
David P Hurford, PhD is a true gem, offering wonderfully comprehensive texts and curricula for children, parents, and educators; and making navigating the world of dyslexia easier!
Learn more about Dr. Hurford at https://www.jettpublishing.net/authors/about-the-author and get your copy of his books at the same link!
Enjoy this episode from season 5, to prepare you for next week's episode about some books written by David Hurford!
original notes from Season 5:
Dr. Hurford is doing great things in the world, studying dyslexia and teaching kids with dyslexia as part of his non-profit organization!
You can hear all about that as well as some books he’s published (that I just had to get my own copies of, so expect to see another episode on those in the future!) in this week’s podcast episode!
To learn more about his organization and his books, go to: https://www.jettpublishing.net/authors/about-the-author
Evan Connell is an Australian sustainable technologist and systems architect who has spent over 30 years helping schools, governments, and community organisations extend the life of their technology while improving reliability and control. He is the creator of Sprint Central, a lightweight operating system designed to keep existing school computers usable for years longer than traditional platforms allow.
Email Evan Connell: Sales@SprintCentral.com
https://sprintcentral.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/evanconnell/
After taking a summer break that stretched into a winter break that stretched into a mid-winter break…
I’m finally back at putting out new episodes of the podcast!
This week is a soft intro into what to expect this season, and how I plan to avoid the problem of last season.
For more information on how to work directly with me (looking over IEPs, preparing yourself for IEP meetings, getting your kid onto an IEP, etc; or working on how to help your child with dyslexia or dyscalculica succeed, email Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com!
Are you dyslexic?
Is your child?
Someone you know well?
Chances are that you answered yes to at least one of those!
And yet, for most people, dyslexia is still a mystery! Myths still abound, and kids with dyslexia often feel alone and different.
Feeling alone and different leads to lower self-confidence and can further impact academic success as well as friendships and navigating social situations.
Kids need to know that they’re not alone, and actually far from it!
Adults need to know some essential facts and truths about dyslexia.
@Dyslexia_Diaries on Instagram aims to do just that! They’re busting myths and sharing stories and doing what they can to educate the public and ensure that kids don’t feel alone with their dyslexia.
Listen to this week’s podcast with Dyslexia Diaries!
Then be sure to share your own stories of dyslexia!
Restorative Justice is about accountability and making repairs. It’s about emotional intelligence and building relationships. It’s about investing in people with time and patience.
Listen in to this week’s podcast to learn more about Restorative Justice in Education including what it can look like, and how it can change a school’s disciplinary system to a system with redemption built-in.
To help you with some notes you may want to take while listening:
In this episode, Nicholas Bradford shares 4 questions that drive a restorative justice conversation:
- What happened?
- What was the thinking?/ What were you trying to accomplish?
- Who was impacted and how?
- How do we move forward?
He also shared 5 overarching principles of Restorative Justice:
- Conflict Happens; let’s talk about it
- Engage all stake holders
- Empower the author and the victim
- Value Empathy; Connection over shame
- Develop Agency
Additionally, (although this is not the official layout of a Restorative Justice system) an RJ system typically includes:
- Preventative Work:
- Relationship- building
- Self- Reflection
- Social and Emotional Intelligence
- Intervention Work:
- Self-Reflection
- Accountability
- Recognizing Impact
- Making it Right (if needed)
Learn more about Nicholas Bradford’s work at: https://www.nationalcenterforrestorativejustice.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/nationalcenterforrestorativejustice/
Are Microschools the Answer?
Summer break is here or nearly here. Are you thinking ahead to next school year?
You may be worrying about if your child will lose progress over the summer and you may be looking for ways to maintain their educational levels. (Hit reply and let me know if you’d like to discuss tutoring options)
OR
You may be wondering if you need to change schools for your kiddo. Maybe that school they’re at has not been serving them well and you’re just so tired of the fight.
Seeing schools fail to meet the needs of kids breaks my heart every day. I know those educators went into the field to help kids, but things are complicated and now they’re fighting with parents over what the kids actually need and no one feels like they can trust the others.
Have you heard of microschools? A microschool may be just what you’re looking for to solve the educational difficulties your kiddo is facing. Small communities of parents and teachers working together to best meet the needs of the kids? Sign me up!
Check out Changemaker Education here! https://www.changemakereducation.com/
Video Version available at DecodingLearningDifferences.com
In previous seasons, we have talked EXTENSIVELY about motivation and because it is such a critical part of a child’s academic success and overcoming learning challenges, I’ll always keep bringing it up again and again!
This week we’re diving into a quick and easy way to motivate a child. It won’t work for every child every time. And it won’t work if your mindset going into it isn’t clear and motivating.
And yet, overall, it’s such a simple action to take to increase learning!
Video Version available at DecodingLearningDifferences.com
I recently was confronted (on this podcast episode!) with a myth that I had spread widely believing to be true: that learners retain 90% of what they teach. I had never believed that the pyramid this fact was based off of was exact or precise but rather a generalization of lots of research. It also was supported by the real-life experiences I had.
And yet– I had trusted the sources that first told me about this pyramid. That led me to spread it to others and so on, and if any of us had looked into deeply, we would have seen it’s just a common myth that has spread WIDELY!
So, do educators lie?
Sometimes. And sometimes educators fall for misinformation just like everyone else. So what do we do about it?
Check the facts! And set the record straight when you can!
Gretchen Wegner, a former classroom teacher, is the founder of The Anti-Boring Learning Lab. This is a wonderful resource for all educators to check out, including home educators!
In this second conversation, Gretchen will share her knowledge of Self-Directed Learning, which we discuss calling “Collaborative Learning”! You’ll learn what it is, how to implement it in any learning situation, and why it’s worth taking the time to implement well!
Video version available at DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Be sure to check out Gretchen's FREE resources! These are shared during the conversation and I found them to be so helpful with my own kids and students!
Video version available at DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Gretchen Wegner, a former classroom teacher, is the founder of The Anti-Boring Learning Lab. This is a wonderful resource for all educators to check out, including home educators!
In this conversation, Gretchen will share her knowledge of neuromyths, why they are not accurate, and why we need to bust them!
Check out Gretchen's blog article about Neuromyths here! This article is what led me to invite Gretchen on the podcast!
Also be sure to check out Gretchen's FREE resources!
I do hope that I am not the only neuro-nerd out there, but even if you’re not particularly fascinated by neuroscience, stick with me!
In this week’s episode, I take an old-ish quote and apply it to how your kids learn, leaving you with action you can take to make learning more successful for your kids!
This is extremely helpful in working with kids with dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, and so many other specific learning disabilities! It also benefits those with ADHD or any learning struggles!
This week’s podcast episode might be a first of its kind (for me). It started out as wanting to explain that English is actually relatively logical and follows a lot of patterns, but it turned into a book recommendation because Uncovering the Logic of English by Denise Eide goes into better detail than I ever could in a podcast episode!
Listen in to hear about why I like this book, why I recommend this book regularly, and some examples of how we were just never taught enough to know that English is a much more predictable and logical language than it is usually given credit for!
I am delighted to announce that our first guest interview for the 2025 season of Decoding Learning Differences is Dr. Hurford.
Dr. Hurford is doing great things in the world, studying dyslexia and teaching kids with dyslexia as part of his non-profit organization!
You can hear all about that as well as some books he’s published (that I just had to get my own copies of, so expect to see another episode on those in the future!) in this week’s podcast episode!
To learn more about his organization and his books, go to: https://www.jettpublishing.net/authors/about-the-author
Times are challenging, and I’m dedicated to focusing on getting everyone the info they need to be successful in the area in which I have expertise in.
There will be a few changes to the podcast for the 2025 season. I will now be emailing and publishing the podcast episodes on THURSDAYS instead of Mondays!
So watch for emails from me on Thursdays at 12:34pm. As much as I’d like to get back to weekly emails and episodes, I think bi-weekly is the most attainable for me at this time. I am dedicated to continuing to keep this a free resource (for you; it costs me plenty, haha!) and hope that you find it valuable!
I’ll be focusing this year on Education law (especially the special education side of it), book reviews, learning/teaching tips, and guest interviews!
If you have any ideas for any of the above OR any other questions you would love for me to answer on the podcast, please email me: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Parents assume that their kids have learned something and will still know it next week.
They won’t, unless they’ve been practicing.
This is probably obvious to you when you stop to think about it, but it’s just so common for parents to also be surprised when our kids have forgotten something they TOTALLY knew!
And this learning-requires-practice truth is exponentially more true for kids with learning disabilities!
Listen to this week’s episode and get some ideas for how to go about helping your kiddo to make progress that lasts and doesn’t leave them saying, “I’m stupid!” No kid deserves to feel that way!
If you have a “great”, “good”, or even “okay” IEP in place for your kiddo, don’t assume all is going well and you don’t need to check in until the next annual IEP.
Check NOW! We’re approximately ⅓ of the way through the school year (depending on your school’s calendar).
We need to be sure that everything in place still makes sense and is benefiting your kiddo.
We need to be sure the goals are appropriate and progress is being made.
And we need to be sure progress is being made in all the areas that don’t have IEP goals too!
Unfortunately, education has become increasingly political lately and I feel like I’m not doing anyone any favors by keeping quiet about it.
I will not tell you who or what to vote for, but I would love the opportunity to let you know about a few things that can impact your child’s education.
I’m intentionally releasing this episode well ahead of Election Day because I want everyone to have time to research fully, and never to act out of fear.
Today is Christmas in September! I’ve got a gift for you!
I’ve just created an IEP checklist to help you do what I do for my clients! When working with clients, I go through every part of an IEP to ensure it is well-written, accurate, and is working toward reasonably ambitious goals.
With this PDF, you can now do the same thing! The PDF links to videos that go deeper into some of these topics to help you better determine how to support your kiddo and how to best evaluate your kiddo’s IEP.
In this week’s podcast, I’m going over this PDF and how to use it most effectively.
Click here to watch and get the PDF for yourself!
Click here to see the video and get the letters!
https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/Letters
Or email me at Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
See the video at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/StartingtheSchoolYear
The school year has already begun in schools near me, and won’t start for another month in some other schools around the country. Whenever you are starting school, I want you to keep in mind a few things toward the start of the year. These are some ways to help ensure this is a year of success and progress for your child, and not another lost year.
- Stay in frequent contact with all general education and special education teachers working with your kiddo, as well as any other service providers (Speech, OT, counseling, etc)
- Be sure that everyone is very familiar with your child’s needs and accommodations and be sure that they are actually implementing them, not forcing your child to be the one to ask for the accommodation before it is provided!
- Monitor your child’s progress and ensure IEP goals are being worked on, are still appropriate, and progress is being made.
- Be friendly, be approachable, be firm. The goal is for the school’s IEP team members to treat you like they would a close friend or family member, providing the best for your kiddo; not taking advantage of you, and not keeping you in the dark out of fear.
Video version available at:
decodinglearningdifferences.com/IEPAccommodations
This week’s podcast episode is long overdue! This is an analysis of a real IEP accommodations page sent to me by a parent concerned about their child’s IEP and wanting some free feedback.
I love parents who care and who ask great questions to understand how to help their kiddo.
In this episode, I take a look at this IEP for the first time and give feedback on what I’m seeing and noticing and what I would write differently, if anything.
Did you know??
If you want free support on an IEP, email me (Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com) and tell me, “free help, please!” Attach any IEP documents you want me to look at. I’ll take a look, remove any identifying information, and provide some feedback on a future podcast episode, sending you the episode before it’s published!
Or- Do you want more intensive help and guidance? Someone to hold your hand and guide you through more than a year of IEP process and ongoing monitoring and support? Email me (Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com) and say, “I want ALL the help!” and we’ll set up your 1:1 support.
I was watching a sweet video the other day of a toddler trying to figure out a puzzle and looking frustrated but determined. Finally, the child figured it out and their face lit up! So sweet!
I love these kinds of stories of kids, adults, and even animals overcoming difficulties. They can be such an inspiration!
And even better: when someone overcomes a difficulty and then turns around and helps others to overcome that same difficulty!
That’s this week’s guest on the podcast: Sherrika Myers!
You will hear her tell her story of difficulty, overcoming, and then creating ways to help others overcome that same difficulty AND other challenges!
Watch the video here:
https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/SherrikaMyers/
Links to Sherrika Myers's resources:
https://www.every1voicematters.org/
https://www.lilherbieseries.org/
Hi, |FNAME|! Happy Monday!
When I first became a special education teacher, I had received NO instruction on how to write an IEP. I asked another special education teacher how to write it and was told to mostly just copy what the previous year’s IEP said, just making the goals more advanced.
I was so clueless going into that first IEP meeting.
I cared DEEPLY about my students, and I wanted to do right by them.
I wanted to provide every student with a really great education that would meet their needs and see them excel.
I felt that parents were an important part of the team, knowing more than I did about their student and best positioned to address and suggest certain parts of the IEP.
I did not feel well-positioned to make suggestions on the rest of it…
A few years later, after talking to more special education teachers, receiving a little training, and writing and holding over a hundred IEP meetings….
I was still inadequate.
I still cared. I still wanted to do what was best. And I still felt like there was a ton I didn’t know and needed to know in order to best serve my students.
Eventually, I got A LOT more training and feedback from experts on how to actually write effective IEP goals.
I had someone over my shoulder showing me what was right and what I needed to change to write effective goals.
I will forever be grateful to that person and the training I received which allowed me to finally be better at that aspect of my career.
And now that I’m not writing hundreds of IEP goals every year as a special education teacher, I want to help others know HOW to write and recognize good IEP goals
When the IEP team sends you a draft IEP goal, I want you to be able to look at it and determine for yourself if it is any good.
Check out the video for this week’s episode: “IEP Goals: Let's Fix One!” by clicking here!
I so often hear from parents frustrated by the school system and specifically the school they are fighting with to get their child what they need.
What I also hear from on occasion is fellow educators who are passionate about changing the schools from the inside!
One such educator is Caroline Digman! She is a dedicated teacher working hard to make real change in her school and in her school district. She’s also spreading the word on what she’s doing locally to spread change in more districts!
I love what she’s doing so I asked her to be on the podcast to share about what she’s doing and how we can all get involved in our own ways!
Send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Continuing with ideas for motivating our kids, we're discussing the motivational impact of genuine belief in your child. Belief in who they are and what they are capable of.
Check out the video version, more free resources, and support at www.DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Continuing with ideas for motivating our kids, we're discussing the motivational impact of giving kids genuine responsibility.
See the video version and resources at: www.DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Continuing with ideas for motivating our kids, we're discussing the motivational impact of genuine gratitude.
Send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Affirmations expressing all the awesome qualities of your kid can be very motivating for them!
Be sure to send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
As a former special education teacher in the public schools, and as someone who still is paying attention to what kids are drawn to reading, I can tell you that anecdotally, graphic novels seem to be the most exciting type of book for kids to own!
They love the pictures and our dyslexic kiddos often thrive off of fewer words on the page. However, many graphic novels contain words that are WAY too challenging for struggling readers.
Enter Sue Marasciulo.
If you don’t know about her books, you’ll probably want to grab some, especially if your kiddo is in the early reader phase (or if it’s coming up)!
In this week’s episode, Sue shares about her background, her inspiration to create these books, and her hopes for them.
Check out Sue's books at: https://www.suemarasciulo.com/
Send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
This episode goes into three “Motivation Killers”: Punishments, Rewards, and Praise. (Although praise is actually a type of reward).
Punishment
Now that corporal punishment (physical abuse/hitting) is very rare and illegal in most states, punishment is usually about taking something away from a child (called a negative punishment). Punishments you may have seen in schools:
“You didn't do your work, you don't get to go out to recess.”
“You didn't do well enough, you get an F.”
“You get a zero.”
“You have a missing notice that has to go home and get signed by your parents.”
Now, that last one can also be a type of communication between parents and teachers and doesn’t need to be punitive. It really depends on the teacher’s mindset. Do they want to punish or just communicate? Is the note given privately and with empathy or is the kid put on blast in front of the whole class? Is the tone of voice kind or upset?
Similarly, at home we tend to not spank much anymore (there is a lot of evidence around the harm that spanking causes) but we will take things away (negative punishment):
“You didn’t do your homework, you don’t get to watch TV” (or ride your bike, or play on the tablet, etc)
All of these punishments send the message that you believe the child has willfully chosen to do the “wrong thing” or to not do well enough on an assignment, etc. All of these punishments create a power struggle between child and adult. All of these punishments can cause kids to feel like they are bad or dumb.
Rewards
We can also flip some punishments to be rewards: “you don’t get to watch TV until you do your homework.”
Or we can use bribes, “If you read this page to me, you get an M&M!”
We’re letting kids know that doing the homework or reading is not worth doing unless they are being “paid” to do it. “If you do A, I’ll give you B” let’s the child know that A is a bad thing and B is a good thing. If they already like A, they quickly start to realize that they’re not supposed to.
If your kid loved eating broccoli, you could kill that love pretty quickly by telling them they only get ice cream if they eat their broccoli and then one day stop giving them ice cream.
Reading is a wonderful and pleasurable activity for people to engage in. Writing, mathematics, athletic endeavors, and playing music are also. If we start rewarding a child for engaging in any of these, we are sending the opposite message. We are telling kids that they shouldn’t like these. They should only like TV, tablets, candy, etc.
Because I never want my young children to lose their love of books and reading, I will never bribe or otherwise reward them for reading with me. Reading is already intrinsically motivating and enjoyable.
Praise
Praise is a specific type of reward. Saying, “good job” tells a child that they are being evaluated. It lets the child know that there is a right and wrong way to do things and that they better be careful not to do the wrong thing.
This can kill creativity. If a child comes up to you with their drawing and you say it’s a beautiful drawing, expect to see lots more just like it. They’re less likely to risk drawing something different because you might not like it. They’ll stick with the safe drawing.
If a child is working on writing, and you tell them, “great hook!” you are giving a specific praise, but you are still evaluating them and they’re likely to use the same type of hook in their next piece of writing. (A hook is the beginning of the writing that grabs a reader’s attention)
Keep in mind that many famous, award-winning authors were rejected by dozens of publishers before being picked up and then going on to become famous. Those professionals didn’t think that book was good enough but now it’s being taught in classes on literature. It doesn’t matter what those particular professionals thought of the book and it really doesn’t matter whether or not you like the hook.
It does matter whether or not your child is able to learn and grow from what they are doing. It does matter how they feel about their writing. So, ask them questions:
“How do you feel about the hook?”
“What part do you feel you really nailed?”
“What are you going to work on improving next time?”
“Are you aware of the conventions around dialogue? May I show you how we mark dialogue in a text?” OR “Do you know how most English writers show when characters are speaking to each other? May I show you?”
You can guide and teach without your child feeling evaluated.
What to do instead
Motivation is tricky. In Alfie Kohn’s book, Punished by Rewards, Kohn goes deep into why rewards are problematic. And yet, he doesn’t offer much in the way of what to do instead. And that’s because it’s rather complicated and there aren’t any easy and quick answers.
In Season 2, we discussed a lot of options and in Season 4, I've got some new ideas for you!
This year, in the fourth podcast season, you can expect more about motivation, more interviews, and more IEP guidance!
Be sure to send IEP documents you want free feedback on to: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Video version available at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/podcast/DevelopingReadersAcademy/
Last week we dove deep into the Science of Reading. This week, we’re moving into how to make that reading instruction FUN!
Laura and Megan of the Developing Readers Academy are this week’s podcast guests and they are full of wisdom and inspiration!
Join our conversation and gain some ideas for how best to help your “growing reader”.
Learn more about what they're doing at:
https://www.developingreadersacademy.com/
Video version available at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/podcast/NHansford
How much do you know about “The Science of Reading”?
Do you feel clueless? Do you feel like you are an expert? Somewhere in-between?
This week’s episode is for you if you land ANYWHERE in that range! I completely geek out over Science of Reading stuff and this conversation was a super fun one for me!
I got to ask an expert on the topic some questions and along the way, he gave a good overview of what good reading instruction requires and what the research says about each of those elements.
He lists 6 Pillars of Reading Instruction. Can you name them?
Find out more about Nate Hansford and his work at (one of my top favorite websites):
https://www.pedagogynongrata.com/
Video Version available at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/podcast/MotivationKillers/
This powerful replay episode goes into three “Motivation Killers”: Punishments, Rewards, and Praise. (Although praise is actually a type of reward).
Punishment
Now that corporal punishment (physical abuse/hitting) is very rare and illegal in most states, punishment is usually about taking something away from a child (called a negative punishment). Punishments you may have seen in schools:
“You didn't do your work, you don't get to go out to recess.”
“You didn't do well enough, you get an F.”
“You get a zero.”
“You have a missing notice that has to go home and get signed by your parents.”
Now, that last one can also be a type of communication between parents and teachers and doesn’t need to be punitive. It really depends on the teacher’s mindset. Do they want to punish or just communicate? Is the note given privately and with empathy or is the kid put on blast in front of the whole class? Is the tone of voice kind or upset?
Similarly, at home we tend to not spank much anymore (there is a lot of evidence around the harm that spanking causes) but we will take things away (negative punishment):
“You didn’t do your homework, you don’t get to watch TV” (or ride your bike, or play on the tablet, etc)
All of these punishments send the message that you believe the child has willfully chosen to do the “wrong thing” or to not do well enough on an assignment, etc. All of these punishments create a power struggle between child and adult. All of these punishments can cause kids to feel like they are bad or dumb.
Rewards
We can also flip some punishments to be rewards: “you don’t get to watch TV until you do your homework.”
Or we can use bribes, “If you read this page to me, you get an M&M!”
We’re letting kids know that doing the homework or reading is not worth doing unless they are being “paid” to do it. “If you do A, I’ll give you B” let’s the child know that A is a bad thing and B is a good thing. If they already like A, they quickly start to realize that they’re not supposed to.
If your kid loved eating broccoli, you could kill that love pretty quickly by telling them they only get ice cream if they eat their broccoli and then one day stop giving them ice cream.
Reading is a wonderful and pleasurable activity for people to engage in. Writing, mathematics, athletic endeavors, and playing music are also. If we start rewarding a child for engaging in any of these, we are sending the opposite message. We are telling kids that they shouldn’t like these. They should only like TV, tablets, candy, etc.
Because I never want my young children to lose their love of books and reading, I will never bribe or otherwise reward them for reading with me. Reading is already intrinsically motivating and enjoyable.
Praise
Praise is a specific type of reward. Saying, “good job” tells a child that they are being evaluated. It lets the child know that there is a right and wrong way to do things and that they better be careful not to do the wrong thing.
This can kill creativity. If a child comes up to you with their drawing and you say it’s a beautiful drawing, expect to see lots more just like it. They’re less likely to risk drawing something different because you might not like it. They’ll stick with the safe drawing.
If a child is working on writing, and you tell them, “great hook!” you are giving a specific praise, but you are still evaluating them and they’re likely to use the same type of hook in their next piece of writing. (A hook is the beginning of the writing that grabs a reader’s attention)
Keep in mind that many famous, award-winning authors were rejected by dozens of publishers before being picked up and then going on to become famous. Those professionals didn’t think that book was good enough but now it’s being taught in classes on literature. It doesn’t matter what those particular professionals thought of the book and it really doesn’t matter whether or not you like the hook.
It does matter whether or not your child is able to learn and grow from what they are doing. It does matter how they feel about their writing. So, ask them questions:
“How do you feel about the hook?”
“What part do you feel you really nailed?”
“What are you going to work on improving next time?”
“Are you aware of the conventions around dialogue? May I show you how we mark dialogue in a text?” OR “Do you know how most English writers show when characters are speaking to each other? May I show you?”
You can guide and teach without your child feeling evaluated.
What to do instead
Motivation is tricky. In Alfie Kohn’s book, Punished by Rewards, Kohn goes deep into why rewards are problematic. And yet, he doesn’t offer much in the way of what to do instead. And that’s because it’s rather complicated and there aren’t any easy and quick answers.
Check out Season 2 for more ideas on how to motivate kids to read, write, do math, and more!
What is your birth story?
Did you experience a traumatic birth? Do you suspect it may have impacted your child?
I don’t want this to scare you, worry you, or bring any kind of burden!
I’ve just seen an anecdotal connection between birth difficulties and an increased likelihood of learning disabilities. I’ve seen some research to support this, but more certainly needs to be done.
As I talked with my doula friend Jemilla White about this, we decided to take this conversation to the podcast so that the wisdom can be shared more widely!
The conversation took some unexpected turns and I found some surprising parallels between the world of birthing and the world of education!
Learn more about Jemilla White and Doula services at: https://marimamadoula.com/
Find the video version at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/jemilla
Some people just have SO much to offer the world!
Today’s podcast wisdom comes from a sweet friend who wrote a truly inspiring book: Swim the Lake Before You Row the Boat- that gives so much wisdom about how to raise children in a purposeful, meaningful way.
AND- Deb is a lawyer and has experience with special education and shared a lot of wonderful wisdom around the IEP process.
Video version is at: https://www.decodinglearningdifferences.com/swimthelake
This week I was excited to chat with Dr. Julian Reed, founder of Walkabouts. He talks about a program that he developed to bring movement into the classroom as well as a lot of other ways that movement can be incorporated into the classroom, and I mentioned some examples I had seen in a school I used to work in.
Learn more about the program at:
https://www.walkabouts.com/
If I'm understanding Neurofeedback correctly- without adding another mentally exhausting task to their day, you can retrain the brain to change the brain waves to make learning easier for them.
Click here to watch this fascinating and hope-filled conversation!
If you have tried or wind up trying neurofeedback, I would LOVE to hear about your experience!
Find out more about Dianne Kosto's work here: https://symmetryneuropt.com/
“When I grow up, I want to be Jen Doidge.”- something I’ve said multiple times in my life.
Today’s podcast episode is super special to me. I have a good friend who exudes positivity and adventure and friendliness.
She’s someone I want everyone to know. She’s not an education expert. She’s not a parenting expert.
She’s simply an amazing human that I want to share with even more of the world.
I finally got her on a call and couldn’t wait to release this episode!
In this episode, you’ll hear about all of the amazing and adventurous professions she has held that do not require a college degree and have given her an amazingly successful and joy-filled life!
You’ll also hear about her life motto that has served her very well over the years.
Click here to watch this beautifully inspiring conversation!
Listen to this previously-released episode and check out more episodes that you may have missed here: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/
Dr. Marnie Ginsberg is the founder of Reading Simplified. Hear her story and get inspired to help your own learner master reading!
Video version at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/podcast/readingsimplified/
Check out: https://readingsimplified.com/
Some links discussed in this episode:
Readingsimplified.com/switch-it
ReadingSimplified.com/reading-tests
ReadingSimplified.com/one-and-done-nearly
ReadingSimplified.com/power-up-phonics-activities
readingsimplified.com/academy
Take the Cognitive Questionnaire here: https://questionnaire.arrowsmithprogram.com/
Barbara Arrowsmith-Young is the founder of the Arrowsmith Program, an assessment process and suite of cognitive exercises designed to stimulate and strengthen areas of cognitive functioning that underlie a range of learning difficulties.
Her work is recognized as one of the first examples of the practical application of neuroplasticity to address learning difficulties and its application has expanded to address those dealing with traumatic brain injury, addiction, cognitive decline with aging and those who want to enhance performance. She is the recipient of the Leaders and Legends Innovation Award from the University of Toronto for her contribution to education.
Barbara's vision is to transform lives worldwide through the application of the principles of neuroplasticity. On your podcast, Barbara would be happy to discuss a wide range of topics such as:
- How our Brain Shapes Our Behaviour
- The Power of Neuroplasticity in Shaping Our Brain
- Common Learning Difficulties and the Brain
- Cognitive Enhancement in the Classroom
- Looking at Behaviour Through a Cognitive Lens
- Knowing Your Cognitive Profile
- Putting the Brain in Education
- Neuroplasticity and Mental Health
We are joined this week by Dayna Abraham, educator, author, mother, and so much more! Dayna's newest book, Calm the Chaos (about to be released very soon) is "a revolutionary guide for parents of kids that struggle with big emotions, power struggles, or challenging behaviors". Having had the opportunity to read a sneak preview of this book, I can tell you that it is for every parent I've ever met and ever heard of. Unless your home is always sunshine and you never are left feeling uneasy, upset, or ashamed of an interaction with your child, this book is for you! Click here and get the book pre-ordered so you can get all the lovely bonuses as well!
Last week we dove into the latest research on the best educational methodologies for children with dyslexia (including some methodologies that the latest research supports but have been around for over a hundred years!).
This week we’re diving into a topic that is a bit more complicated, because there is WAY less research.
This week we’re talking about the best methods for educating a child with dyscalculia.
There may not be as much research, but there are things we do know to do and things we know NOT to do.
Click here to watch, listen, and learn!
While you’re here, be sure to subscribe, rate, and write a review to help others discover all that you have found so helpful!
In this week’s episode, I am giving some clear guidelines on the best methodologies for educating children with dyslexia, based on the most current research.
Click here to watch, listen, and learn!
While you’re here, be sure to subscribe, rate, and write a review to help others discover all that you have found so helpful!
After that long IEP Tips series, I’m excited to offer you an interview today!
Today’s episode is an interview with Andrea Pollack of Autism Parent Solutions. Whether or not you have a child with autism, be sure to listen because you WILL gain insight!
One of the biggest things that is explored in this episode is Unshakeable Parenting Confidence!
Learn a bit about Unshakeable Parenting Confidence from Andrea Pollack of Autism Parent Solutions. Find more about her at: AutismParentSolutions.com!
While you're here, be sure to subscribe, rate, and write a review to help others discover all that you have found so helpful!
This week’s final episode stems from the position many families find themselves in of being offered a Section 504 plan when what they really wanted for their child was an IEP. We go into the differences and similarities of these two educational supports to hopefully allow families to make the decision that is best for their child!
Watch the video or download the audio for this week’s episode where we discuss your options and my recommendations.
Last week we went through all the steps of GETTING an IEP for your kiddo, but another common question is around how to keep the school from taking that IEP away.
Every three years, the school district must determine if your child is still “eligible” for an IEP and while this brings updated information, it can also mean that the school may recommend “exiting” your child from special education/ an IEP.
And that’s amazing news! Your child is doing so well that the school thinks your kiddo will be just fine without an IEP!
Take a moment to celebrate your child’s successes (even if you disagree!).
And if you disagree and don’t want your child exited?
Watch the video or download the audio for this week’s episode where we discuss your options and my recommendations.
Many families assume that a school will recognize if their child is struggling and will assess them and put them on an IEP if that is needed, all without the parents saying anything. And, honestly, that’s how it’s supposed to work. For many children, that is exactly how it does work.
However, for many other kids, their needs get brushed aside and they are never assessed, and never put onto an IEP unless a parent or guardian steps in and advocates for them.
So how do you get your child an IEP?
First, write a letter to the school (all the details are in the episode). Then, be sure that your school follows the law and responds correctly. Too many schools don’t know the law and unintentionally break it all the time. Oops!
Get all the details by listening to this week’s episode!
Sometimes, we need a second opinion.
If you’re feeling that the school’s report didn’t find give you the answers you needed regarding why your child is struggling, you might need a second opinion.
And the beauty of the system is that you can request an IEE that is free of charge to you.
I don’t encourage the use of this option for most people, as it is a big expense to school districts and we’d probably have them use that money to actually educate our children and their teachers well.
Click here to watch the video or download the audio for this week’s podcast!
Do you have concerns about your child’s IEP reports?
Are Accommodations the most important part of an IEP?
Last week we dove into the importance of well-written IEP goals and this week we’re going to another section of the IEP.
The Accommodations section of an IEP is, for many kids, the single most important section of their IEP!
For kids who are able to understand and participate in grade level content, accommodations may be the thing keeping them in a general education class all day long, feeling successful and knowing that they are rocking it!
For kids who struggle a bit more, accommodations are still allowing them to see their own areas of genius and feel good about themselves.
Click here to watch the video or download the audio for this week’s podcast!
Then go check your kid’s accommodations. Are they crystal clear to you? Do they need some explanation (and therefore, a rewrite)?
Let me know!
When we’re looking at IEP goals, we don’t want just an emotional impression of what we think the IEP is supposed to guide. We need it to be crystal clear so that there is no confusion as to whether or not a child met that IEP goal.
Those goals need to leave no room for interpretation. If 2 different teachers both read that goal, will they use entirely different methods of measurement? If so, the results will likely be vastly different.
Unfortunately, many special education teachers are never taught how to write really good goals. They get barely any guidance at all and even the “goal banks” that the teachers use are full of poorly written goals.
Click here to watch the video for this week’s podcast!
Then go check your kid’s goals. Are they crystal clear to you? Do they need some explanation (and therefore a rewrite)?
Let me know!
When it comes to IEPs, knowing how to read them helps us know where to look to find the important stuff within them.
An IEP document 30 years ago was 2 pages long. Now IEPs are often more than 30 pages long. They can be so large and overwhelming that many parents need help looking them over, understanding them, and knowing if the IEP is providing what their child needs.
While I actually love analyzing IEPs and doing consultations with families, I also want to help everyone understand IEPs better so that everyone can make an educated decision when it comes to their child’s IEP.
Click here to watch or download the audio for this week’s episode: IEP tips: Parts of an IEP.
Next week we’ll start going deeper into some of the most important parts of an IEP to help you analyze them in more detail. Be sure to rate, review, and subscribe!
Communication is really important to ANY relationship. Most conflict seems to stem from miscommunication, misunderstanding, or lack of communication.
And when there is conflict around your child’s IEP, your child is not benefiting. Communicate regularly with the entire IEP team!
Listen for more details on how and when and where and why and what to communicate with who!
You can watch the video here!
knowing what to bring to a particular event/trip is critically important to the trip’s success (and some things are out of our control).
When it comes to attending an IEP meeting, don’t show up empty-handed and clueless! There are specific items you can and should bring with you for an optimally successful IEP meeting.
Click here to watch or listen to this week’s podcast episode and get all the details!
Ultimately, the answer to this question is personal and depends greatly on your particular situation.
Listen or Watch the video to find out what you should consider when trying to decide if it's time to hire an advocate or a lawyer, and what to look for if you do decide to hire one.
Learn more at www.DecodingLearningDifferences.com!
This week’s episode is the first interview of the season! And to kick us off, we’re bringing back Dr. Victoria Waller!
Last week we discussed how to set your child up for optimal learning and one of the key pieces to that is to make learning pleasant or even fun, and this week Dr. Vicki will give us plenty of ideas to get us started engaging our kids’ love of learning and creative spirit.
Click on over to get the free PDF: “If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It”, full of fun and creative ways to engage your child’s learning!
Watch or listen to the podcast, download the PDF, and buy Dr. Waller’s book!
In this episode, we go “Back to Basics” to remind everyone of the principles of what sets kids up for learning success. This episode lays the foundation for understanding how to set your kids up for true learning success!
Watch the video at: https://decodinglearningdifferences.com/home/basics/
watch video version at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0218
Around this time of year, a lot of High School seniors are considering colleges, applying to colleges, and taking SATs or ACTs. Younger kids are beginning to think about their future careers and the colleges they may be interested in attending.
And even if your child is quite young, the path to college might be something you either have thought about, or feel that you should start considering.
This conversation is for you!
Find Kim Duckworth here:
Website: www.parentsareyouready.com
Email: kim@parentsareyouready.com
Facebook: @parentsareyouready
Instagram: @kpduckworth
Twitter: @KimDuckworth12
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kim-duckworth-048aa152
video version at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0246
In a recent episode, Dr. Vicki Waller discussed the importance of not waiting to get your kid help. There is a myth that if we wait, kids will just catch up and outgrow their difficulties.
And while some kids DO need more time to mature or more access to direct instruction to then “catch up” to peers, when a parent feels certain that their child needs some extra help, that parent is usually accurate!
The thing is, the sooner kids get help, the better the outcomes. And, let’s pretend a kid who gets help early is later determined to not have had a diagnosable disability. That kid still benefited (if the intervention was appropriate)!
All kids benefit from 1:1 instruction. And the sooner that help is provided, the better the trajectory for your child!
Video version available at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0245
In this week’s podcast episode, we have a fascinating conversation with Linda Karanzalis. Linda is an ADHD and NVLD expert. And if you’ve never heard of NVLD, you are not alone! NVLD stands for NonVerbal Learning Disorder, and can be mistaken for ADHD or autism, but is entirely different, and those with NVLD are definitely NOT nonverbal!
This episode is a fascinating first look at what NVLD is, and what to do if you suspect that you or your child has NVLD.
One of the easiest ways to begin to explore this subject, is to check out Linda’s book! This book has just been released TODAY!
Click here to find out more about Linda’s book! https://www.lindakaranzalis.com/
And her other work can be found here: https://addvantageslearningcenter.com/
Website for this episode: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0244
If you have ever felt that worry, “Will my child ever….?” listen to today’s podcast with Dr. Victoria (Vicki) Waller.
From Dr. Vicki Waller’s materials:
“Every child can succeed in school and life, but some children need more help than others. For over 40 years, internationally acclaimed reading specialist and student advocate Dr. Victoria E. Waller has helped children who have trouble reading, who can’t sit still in class, who don’t feel like they can participate—children whom teachers have all but given up on. In Yes! Your Child Can: Creating Success for Children with Learning Differences, Dr. Waller shares with parents, teachers, and therapists her proven techniques for motivating any child to love learning, overcome their particular challenges, and succeed in school. Her methods are designed and proven to draw out the singular genius within your child, whether they’re just a reluctant reader or have a diagnosis such as ADHD or other learning differences.”
In this interview, we discuss Vicki’s new book, giving you some solid ideas on what you can begin to do to support your child!
Find Dr. Vicki Waller on:
Instagram: @DrVictoriaWaller
FaceBook: @DrVictoriaWaller
Twitter: @DrVickiWaller
Website: http://www.drvictoriawaller.com
Video available at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0243
I can not count how many times I’ve heard parents worried about their child’s weekly spelling lists.
Parents want to know what they should do as far as accommodations, or if the list is reasonable, or if it’s just cruel to mark a kid wrong for letter reversals when they otherwise would have gotten 100% (finally). Ouch! Yeah, for the record, I do think that is cruel!
But I also just loathe spelling lists in the way that they are typically given!
The problems with traditional tests
Traditional tests are typically a list of words, often unrelated to each other. Some lists are words all found in a common story that is being worked on that week. Others might be a variety of ways to spell the long A sound (combining those all into one list is confusing and unhelpful!).
Additionally, we know from research that memorizing 10 - 20 words per week is NOT how anyone actually learns how to spell in their everyday writing.
We don’t memorize 20 words/week and then move on to using those words correctly in our everyday spelling. We mostly just forget whatever we managed to memorize for the test, or we already knew how to spell the words.
To learn to spell, we need to learn the patterns of words. More on that in a bit!
Kids who are successful on weekly spelling tests typically already know how to spell all or most of the words on the given list. Other kids are further behind in spelling and might not know any words on the list.
Handed the same list, some students only need to memorize 2 new words for the weekly test. Other students will need to memorize all 20 words on the list if they are going to pass the test.
Therefore some students are being expected to memorize significantly more words each week than other students. And these are the very students who typically are struggling the most to learn spelling patterns.
I find it cruel to expect struggling children to memorize more words than their peers, especially because it is unlikely to benefit them in any way.
Finally, most spelling tests are graded on an “all or nothing” model for each word. You either get the word completely correct or you get zero points. In fact, the child may have spelled the word correctly but reversed a letter and the word is scored as wrong. I recently saw a parent post her child’s spelling list which would have been 100% correct if reversals were not counted against the child. The child scored 10%.
The all or nothing approach also causes student growth to be missed, not showing the hard work they are putting in. For example, some students are spelling using only an initial and final sound, without a medial vowel sound. If that child remembers to use 3 phonograms on their spelling list, they are showing significant growth in their actual spelling ability, but might still “fail” the spelling test.
Accommodations
Yes, if your child’s school is still using an archaic practice of weekly spelling tests, please list accommodations for that test in your child’s 504 plan or IEP.
Some accommodations you might want to implement:
- Credit given for spelling reversals
- Oral test instead of paper/pencil
- Reduced list (child can take the full test, but is only responsible for knowing the first 5 words)
- Excused from test (receiving spelling instruction in an SAI environment while the whole class is doing the weekly tests)
- alternate/individualized list based on spelling patterns the student has mastered in the SAI setting
- Informal progress check with no set list to memorize, just assessment on patterns mastered (may be part of SAI instruction)
- Weekly spelling list used for spelling practice on homework, but not for testing at end of week
- Partial credit given on words for each spelling pattern correctly mastered. (Ex: ship has 3 phonograms: sh, i, p. A student spelling it as “sip”, “shep”, or “shib” would receive 2 out of 3 possible points. A student spelling it as “chop” would receive 1 out of 3 possible points)
A better way
There are 31 spelling rules that account for the spellings of about 95% of English words, and the other 5% is mostly all words that are borrowed from other languages, and follow the rules of that language!
We can teach children to become proficient spellers in a systematic way that explicitly teaches each of those rules, and gives plenty of practice in applying those rules.
Explicit instruction is necessary for spelling acquisition in most children. In fact, research has shown that most academic skills require explicit instruction.
There are great programs that teach these rules explicitly (such as Spelling Mastery, Logic of English, or All About Spelling), or you can teach them using your own scope and sequence. The key is to have a solid plan to teach these spelling patterns in a logical way and to follow it, ensuring that the student is learning along the way.
Now WITH sound!
see video version: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0239
“Specific Learning Disability” versus “Dyslexia”
I’ve heard so many parents question the school’s report of a “Specific Learning Disability” and ask how they can get their child diagnosed with dyslexia. In some states, a school can actually give a diagnosis, but this is outside of the scope of schools in many states.
A diagnosis is a medical function, while determining eligibility for an IEP or 504 is a school function.
Assessing for an IEP or 504
A school assessment is done to determine if your child qualifies for an IEP or a 504. A 504 evaluation is often more simplified and has less regulations than an IEP.
When you are writing a request for assessment from a school district, you are writing a request that the school determine if your child is eligible for either a 504 or an IEP. The schools are required to provide all children with a Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). FAPE is not the same for all children. It is not appropriate to have a wheel-chair bound child run laps around the field. It is not appropriate for a child with a significant reading impairment to be required to read a text far above their ability level simply because it is a grade-level text. Determining what specific accommodations, modifications, and services a child needs is an important step in ensuring FAPE is being offered.
Schools in most states are not able to officially diagnose, but will perform a lot of the same assessments as a private evaluator who is able to diagnose. Asking the evaluator if your child has dyslexia will often give you the unofficial diagnosis. Alternatively, you can seek out an education specialist or a similar professional to help you make sense of the school’s testing.
Do I need a diagnosis?
You do not need a diagnosis to receive special education services on an IEP or to develop a 504 plan for your child. However, some people feel more comfortable having that official label.
Keep in mind that dyslexia can be defined in different ways and in the broadest sense, any child with a reading impairment caused by a processing disorder/Specific Learning Disability can be considered to have dyslexia. So if your child understands the stories read to them, has had reasonable reading instruction, and is not learning how to read, your child can be considered dyslexic.
Some people define dyslexia far more specifically, but because it is sometimes defined broadly, it is not always helpful to have the label. It doesn’t tell us WHY your child is struggling, other than telling us that there is some kind of brain structure impacting their learning.
“Specific Learning Disability sounds vague”
Yes! Specific Learning Disability is a qualifying disability for an IEP under IDEA (The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). There are a wide range of processing disorders that can be identified with SLD including: Cognitive, Auditory, Phonological, Visual, Visual-Motor, Sensory Motor, Language, Attention. (Although Language Processing disorder is often considered part of a Speech and Language Impairment rather than SLD.) Each of those processing disorders gives the teachers and professionals working with your child a clue as to how your child’s brain operates a bit differently and how your child is likely to learn best.
So, while “Specific Learning Disability in Reading” is vague, it has as much meaning as “dyslexia” and with an identified processing disorder, is actually more specific.
Episode video: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0242
Motivating Dyslexic Kids is much like motivating any child!
Before watching or listening to this episode, be sure you have seen/heard the previous episodes:
Motivation Killers
Motivation: Focus on the Relationship
Motivational Autonomy
Motivational Reading
Motivational Writing
Motivational Outings: Zoo
Motivational Modeling
Motivational Problem Solving
If you want to motivate your dyslexic kid to work on academic skills that they are struggling with, be sure to have conversations. In these conversations listen way more than you speak. Be curious and ask lots of questions. Get to know your child’s hopes, dreams, and concerns. Find out why they choose to do some things and resist doing others. Collaborate with them to come up with a plan that will work well for them!
If you find yourself forcing your child to engage in tutoring, or to do homework, step back and start trusting your child. Use those conversations to decide on an approach that will work. Trust that your child does want to do well!
See video at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0241
In a recent episode, Diagnosing Dyslexia, we discussed whose role it is to diagnose dyslexia and whose role it is to educate those with dyslexia.
This week, we’re talking about how to get the process of getting your kid help in public school started!
Request an evaluation
Write out a request for an evaluation. I recommend emailing your request to as many relevant people as you can, as well as walking the letter into the office and asking the office staff to date stamp it and give you a copy back.
What to include in your request
Start your request with something along the lines of: “I request my child be evaluated to determine eligibility for an IEP (and/or 504 plan).” (see below for more on 504 v IEP)
Now list out your areas of concern. The best phrase to use here is “areas of suspected disability include:” and then list out all of your suspicions. The most common qualifying disabilities are: Other Health Impairment (ADHD falls under this); Specific Learning Disability (dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia fall under this); and Speech or Language Impairment. If you suspect a specific learning disability, I would suggest including a request that your child be assessed “in all areas of processing”, or include specific concerns (ex: “Sara has difficulty following directions, copying from the board, and keeping track of where she is in a book. She also often seems distracted.”) Listing out those concerns, even without the name of the area of suspected disability gives the description of an area of suspected disability that the school needs to consider in their assessment plan.
You may also want to include any family history of learning difficulties, any official medical diagnoses your child has, and specific examples of how these areas of concern show up (ex: “just yesterday we were reading together and….”
Individualized Education Program (IEP) versus Section 504 Plan
If you want your child to get services, ask for an IEP. In some areas, a Section 504 Plan (or 504) will include services, but this is not the case in many places. IEPs also have goals that are being worked on through the services and tracked to determine if the services or accommodations should be adjusted.
I would recommend requesting an IEP unless you know that your child is performing at grade level, is able to learn in the general education environment without any direct services, and just needs a few accommodations (such as shortened assignments or extended time on assignments) for them to be fully successful.
Timelines
Timelines vary by state, so check your state’s laws on timelines for IEPs. 504s do not have specific timelines (another big reason I recommend asking for an IEP).
In California (and most states, from what I’ve gathered), states must respond to a written request for an IEP within 15 days. This is 15 calendar days, not business days. The timelines only stop for school breaks of more than 5 days.
A school can respond to a request for an evaluation by providing an assessment plan or by providing a “Prior Written Notice” informing you of why they are denying your request. In most cases, the school will provide the assessment plan, especially if your letter lays out areas of suspected disability. Some schools may ask you to meet, try interventions first, and rescind your request in the meantime.
Once you sign and return the assessment plan, the school has 60 days to assess your child to determine eligibility for an IEP. Within 60 days, the assessment must be complete, and you should have met to determine if your child qualifies for an IEP. If your child qualifies for an IEP, the school has 30 days to meet to generate an IEP. In many school districts, the two meetings are combined and a child is on an IEP within the 60 days.
You can request an advance copy of the assessment reports so that you have time to go over it. However, I recommend only doing this if you have knowledge of these reports or if you have someone to go over them with you, as the school’s explanation is often an important part of understanding the report. (Reach out to me Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com if you want help understanding your child’s assessment reports)
Takeaway
You know your child best. If you believe your child needs additional help or support in some way, ask for it. See Difficult Parents, My Take
Once your child qualifies for an IEP, the next step is to be involved in creating an IEP that adequately provides for the needs of your child. Again, reach out (Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com) for help!
Video version available at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0240
Effective Dyslexia Interventions
The “Gold Standard” in dyslexia interventions is Orton-Gillingham, often called “OG”. There are many programs that are Orton-Gillingham-based.
The effectiveness of each OG-based program is highly dependent on the knowledge base of the person implementing the program. If they are not actually trained in the program and/or dyslexia in general, the program will be far less effective.
There are a lot of great programs available, but when someone can take those and individualize the education to YOUR child, you will see bigger improvements at a much faster pace.
There are also more contested interventions such as phonetic training (training your child’s brain to hear the differences between sounds), visual training (for those with visual tracking or visual processing difficulties), and other tools. Each of these might work very well for some students and not at all for others. This is because the tools are designed for specific types of brain wiring and if your child does not have that type of brain wiring, it will not solve the problem. It’s kind of like giving glasses to a kid who can’t hear well. Great for someone else, but not gonna help this kid!
Find a Specialist
Like I said, if you want to make a really great impact on your child’s growth, hiring someone who can individualize well is important. A specialist who has been extensively trained in dyslexia, has a lot of experience, who is engaging, and who is up-to-date on the latest research will be the most effective.
I see a lot of recommendations for “Barton” or “Wilson”, etc. And while each of those programs are great programs, they will not individualize to your child automatically and they will not necessarily address the difficulties your specific child is having. Some kids need do well with Barton, and some will not. (Luckily, Barton has a screener that gives you a good clue as to whether or not a specific child will benefit!)
Is your child ready for extra help?
For a variety of reasons (such as too much time on ineffective interventions), some kids are resistant to extra help. They may not be interested in improving their reading right now, which will make them not make as much progress as the same child who is eager to improve.
Having an honest conversation with your child – in which you genuinely listen to their concerns and tell them about yours – is hugely important. This conversation can make all the difference between your child engaging and finding success and your child continuing to struggle (while time and money are wasted).
Frequency of Extra Help
As I’ve said SO many times before, people only have a 10 minute attention span, at best. This means that hour-long tutoring sessions are bound to be a lot of wasted time.
There ARE circumstances in which hour-long sessions can be highly effective such as: the tutor is highly engaging, changing activities frequently, and the child is not mentally exhausted from a long day at school.
However, in most cases, a few short sessions several times per day is more effective than one long session. That being said, one session daily is more effective than 1-2 sessions per week.
Yes, a lot of OG tutoring sessions in a week will get very expensive, very quickly. However, your money will be more effective than if you pay for OG tutoring once/week. In other words: 20 sessions delivered in 4 weeks is typically more effective than 20 sessions delivered in 20 weeks.
AND- you can stretch your time and money by doing a lot of the skills practice with your child throughout the day and on any “off days” that your child has in their tutoring schedule.
For example, you might only pay for OG sessions once/week. And then you might ask the tutor for homework that you can do all the other days. You might do that homework every morning and evening for 10-20 minutes. That will all combine to lead your child to make much stronger progress than if your child is only getting the practice with the tutor.
As a reminder- if your child is mentally exhausted or resistant to the tutoring, homework, etc, you will not see much progress. Before committing to a particular tutor, be sure they are a good fit for your child and that your child is ready for the extra help.
Takeaway: When your child is ready for extra help, find the right person and the right timing!
If you are interested in your child working with me directly, send me an email: Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com. I have some specials right now (until Dec 1 or the spots are filled).
Happy October, also known as both Dyslexia Awareness Month and ADHD Awareness Month.
Personally, I love that these two share a month because there is a high rate of co-morbidity, meaning they often show up together!
And to kick off this amazing month, today’s podcast is an interview with Dr. Kathryn Garfoth of Garforth Education and the Right to Read Initiative Podcast. From her website: “Dr. Garforth has professional expertise in Educational Psychology and a personal understanding of the frustrations children and adults with learning difficulties experience at home, school, work, and in extracurricular activities.”
Listen in as we discuss reading development and what you as a parent can do to support your little (and big) learners!
Click here to watch the video interview or download the audio version! (www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0238)
Parents often wonder whether it is worthwhile to write to their child's teacher. The issue is complicated and nuanced, but overall, I almost always say: Yes!
Listen to the podcast and then be sure to read more of the details, ideas, and nuances at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0237
Kids who struggle with ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and other learning disabilities are motivated by the same things all kids are motivated by: solving complex problems in a meaningful way!
In a continuing effort to find ways to motivate our child’s academic/educational progress, this month’s Motivational Monday is on Problem-Solving.
While doing a worksheet full of “word problems” can be boring and unmotivating, solving genuine problems can be very motivating!
Consider some of these problems and all that your kids would learn in helping to genuinely solve them:
- We have no more space on our bookshelves…
- We have $X saved for a family vacation…
- What's for dinner?
- The back gate was blown down…
- The tomato plants died…
- We are in the midst of a super drought…
These problems, large and “small” all require an incredible number of skills to effectively solve. Some skills that will be involved in solving these:
- Brainstorming
- Measuring
- Calculating
- Budgeting
- Analyzing
- Evaluating
- Researching
- Donating
- Building
And there will be so many more skills, specific to each problem and to each child’s attempted solutions to that problem. Notice that none of the given problems are ones that have a single solution. The possibilities are endless, as are the possibilities of what your child will learn in helping to solve these problems!
Takeaway: Life is full of everyday problems that require a variety of skills to solve- involve the kids!
See more at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0236
More at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0235
When you’re teaching your child, or supporting them academically in any way, even just in thinking about how to get outside help for them, you NEED to understand a few principles of how kids learn to easily avoid conflict and increase actual learning!
- Teachers learn the most.
When we teach something, we retain 90% of the content. Compare that to just 15% retention when something is presented both auditorily and visually!
Prioritize creating opportunities for your child to take on the role of teacher. Many young kids will do this naturally by quizzing the parent, or telling the parent to pretend to be a student. Follow that lead! Let them turn in to the teacher! You can also set up other “students” like stuffed animals or the dog. “Teddy looks confused. Can you explain that to them again?”
- Learning happens in a fun challenge, and when interested.
If your child is stressed or bored, they’re not learning much. We want all learning opportunities to be enjoyable. One way to do this is to consider their interests and make learning opportunities around something interesting to them.
Another way is to challenge them. If something is too easy, it feels boring. And some kids make more mistakes when they find something too easy. They aren’t paying much attention because they’re not interested. However, if something is too hard, they’ll become frustrated and feel defeated. Finding that fine line of giving only what feels almost easy can really engage effort and attention and make them proud of what they accomplish!
- Most people can not attend/focus for More than 10 minutes at a time.
Keep learning activities short, light, and fun! An hour of tutoring once per week is far less impactful than 5 minutes of intentional practice or quick lessons twice per day. Your kid can focus better, and gets lots of opportunity to process between practices, building more automaticity.
Bonus tip: the best time to practice is right before bed! Our brains process all night long and the stuff that happens right before bed gets the most processing.
With these three principles, you can be effective in designing meaningful educational opportunities for your child while avoiding resistance, boredom, and frustration!
Have you heard of Oppositional Defiant Disorder? How about Pathological Demand Avoidance?
Ever wonder (or know) if your child has one of these and what to do about it?
Listen to this week’s podcast, where we dive deep into what these disorders are, and how to approach behavioral challenges with these kids.
Learn more about Michele’s work at: https://micheleshilvock.com/
Follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Micheleshilvockconsulting
And Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/micheleshilvockconsulting/
In this week’s podcast, I geeked out a bit with Michele Shilvock, where we talked about behavior difficulties in children and what really works in a respectful and long-term way. Michele speaks from experience, not merely from theory.
Michele starts off walking us through her behavior visual, then explains lagging skills, ODD, and PDA. We definitely didn’t have time to go as deep as I wanted on everything so watch for Part 2 coming soon!
Improving Reading Comprehension can feel daunting, but there are many simple, easy, and fun strategies that you can start using TODAY to improve your child's reading comprehension, despite any learning disabilities or challenges. These work for kids with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, auditory processing disability, visual processing disability, and more!
Download the Guide at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/readingcomprehension
As a kid, I remember being scared to go down this set of 3 tall, dark tunnel slides at the local water park (Raging Waters) called The Bermuda Triangle. But I kept watching all of these other kids going down it and laughing and smiling and enjoying it!
Eventually, I climbed the stairs, took a breath and went for it. And I was so glad that I had found that courage. That motivation.
I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences, but have you ever taken the time to consider how this might apply to your relationship with your child?
When I became a parent, I read a lot of books and listened to a lot of people. One thing that struck me was that a child could be “taught” manners by not being forced to say please and thank you, but to just hear and see manners modeled genuinely and often.
Good news! This applies to motivating kids to learn (even those with learning disabilities and learning challenges).
If you want your child to read, grab a book and find a cozy place on the couch and dig in!
If you want your child to do math, model all of your mathematical thinking out loud.
If you want your child to write, write a letter to your cousin who you haven’t seen in 3 years.
If you want your child to love learning, work on learning something new (and be sure your kid sees how terrible you are at it right now, and how you aren’t giving up!).
Watching others engage in an activity can be very motivating. Especially, if it is not tied to: “I’m reading, you should read too!” If it feels coercive, it will not be effective.
And, it might take a lot of modeling, so enjoy the reading, writing, math, and learning activities for their own sake. Know that your child is benefiting from it, and let the struggles and expectations go.
Children are expected to learn at a steady pace, starting fourth grade at a 4.0, and ending at a 4.9 or 5.0, with steady consistent growth of .1 each month along the way.
I have never met that child.
Every child I have ever worked with has had periods of explosive growth and periods of stagnation and even regression.
We expect that steady straight line, but the spikes and dips and plateaus is closer to the reality that I see. I also want to point out that some kids will not start or end at the expected points, although I had them line up for this illustration. (www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0230)
And while it is easy to look at this overall graph and think, “Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about. That kid made great progress!” it’s not so easy to feel that way in November, when a kid who WAS doing really well, hasn’t made growth in months!
So one big takeaway I want you to see here is that kids will make progress, at their own pace, and you don’t need to panic when progress hasn’t happened in a while.
But you’re probably wondering: Why does this happen? What can we do about these plateaus and dips? Is there a way to maintain better momentum?
Great questions!
Why does this happen?
Kids often get very enthusiastic initially, and then become bored. So their progress can be directly linked to their enthusiasm for learning the skill.
Kids also will have enough background knowledge to make rapid growth initially, before getting stuck on a harder concept for a while. Then when they break through that struggle, they excel again for a while, before hitting another roadblock.
And for some kids, it has to do with self-confidence. They don’t feel self-assured enough to make progress initially. Then they have a breakthrough and feel great, and make huge growth before getting stuck and losing confidence again.
What can we do about these plateaus and dips? Is there a way to maintain better momentum?
One of the best strategies to try when you notice boredom or resistance to daily lessons is to bring in novelty. When things are new again, they feel fresh. This can be as drastic as changing which curriculum you’re using, or can be as simple as:
- Changing the tool: Crayons instead of pencils
- Changing the location: outside, on the couch, under the dining room table
- Changing the time of day: after lunch instead of after breakfast
- Bringing in something new: music, snacks, a “new student” (the dog or a stuffed animal)
Of course, I am never a proponent of forcing a child to do something they are really against. Have a genuine conversation with your child to see what is going on and why they’re feeling resistant. Give them options, and ask for their suggestions.
You might need to take a break from the lessons for a while, but perhaps your kiddo would be on-board to do a little practice to maintain previously-mastered skills.
A word of caution
As you can imagine from all the possible learning graphs of spikes, dips, and plateaus, every child is different and comparing two kids is rarely beneficial.
Keep your own feelings about your child’s progress in check.
Your child is an awesomely unique human who is developing their skills in their own way and at their own pace. Another child’s pace does not reflect anything on your own child’s pace.
However, if in your gut, you know that something is off- your child needs more help, a different program, etc. - make it happen! Don’t ignore those gut feelings, just be sure that they ARE gut feelings!
Takeaway
We expect kids to make slow and steady progress, but I’ve never met a kid who did. Adjust as needed!
Sue Patterson of Unschooling Mom2Mom defines unschooling as bringing a full, rich life to your kids and trusting that they learn naturally.
Listen to Sue’s answers to these questions (and more):
- What led you to choose unschooling?
- What is your take on unschooling children with learning disabilities such as ADHD or dyslexia?
- Is unschooling ‘right’ for everyone? If not, describe who it is best for and who it is questionable for.
And then let me know if you’re currently unschooling or considering it, or if you just think it’s crazy!
Sue Patterson, a homeschooling mom with over 25 years of experience, is also an author, and an unschooling coach and podcaster. She helps families who aren't happy with their educational situations, and shows them how learning more about unschooling will help. She runs Unschooling Mom2Mom, available on all the social media platforms and offers courses, guides, group coaching programs, and private coaching.
www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com
Sue's book: Homeschooled Teens: 75 Young People Speak About their Lives without School.
(Digital and HardCopy at Amazon)
Podcast: Unschooling Mom2Mom http://www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com/podcast
Sue sends out unschooling resources weekly by email.
Join her free email list here: Unschooling Updates
Kids with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and other learning disabilities (including auditory, visual, attention, and cognitive processing disorders) benefit greatly from being carefully educated by those who know them best and spend the most time with them!
Teaching our children at home has so many benefits! Even if your child attends a traditional school, you can support their learning difficulties at home. Here are the benefits that I see:
(Watch or listen for more details on each!)
- Relationship Building
- 1:1 Instruction
- Instruction/Intervention throughout the day
- Individualized ABCs:
- At your child’s level
- Building on strengths
- Challenging appropriately
- Deficits worked on consistently
- Engaging your child’s interests
- Fun for your kid!
Note:
- Know yourself and your kid (will this work for your family?)
- You may want to hire a tutor or enroll your kid in a class instead
- At home interventions is highly effective for kids in traditional schools too (for all the same reasons)
- Very little time should be spent on intensive intervention
From www.AlfieKohn.org:
Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and hundreds of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn’s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores.”
Listen as I ask Alfie about some of our previous episodes on motivation and my suggestions on what you should be doing and I get his feedback.
Some of my biggest take-aways were:
- Ask yourself: What are my long term goals for my kid(s)?
- Kids don’t have to be given intrinsic motivation to learn
- Before trying to motivate your child, ask: what am I motivating them to do? Why? Is it developmentally appropriate? Does it meet my child’s needs?
- Imagine how things look from your kid’s point of view.
What were your take-aways?
https://www.alfiekohn.org/
Start reading his books today!
One of my favorite mathematical tools is in your wallet, or maybe in your junk drawer, or one of those 5 gallon water jugs.
Coins!
Coins can be used to teach so many math concepts! And yet, money is barely mentioned in the common core standards. I understand that coins aren’t necessarily critical, but I do think it’s important as a life skill AND it’s a great mathematical tool for tons of other concepts!
First, we need to work on teaching our kids to identify coins- their names and values.
Then we can use those coins to practice counting by 1s, 5s, 10s, and 25s!
Counting by numbers means we can also use coins to practice multiplication, making groups of one nickel and 2 pennies to practice 7s, for example.
If our kids are comfortable with knowing that 4 quarters makes a dollar, then we can use that to reinforce fractions. Three quarters means ¾ of a dollar!
This knowledge of fractions then ties into decimals and their equivalent fractions. 25/100 is equal to ¼ because $0.25 is 1 quarter, which is ¼ of a dollar.
We can then use this to work on ratios in much the same way. We might discuss the ratio of 5 pennies to every 1 nickel. So 5 nickels is 25 pennies.
Along the way, our children will have also learned a lot about place value, including decimal place value. They can practice trading 10 pennies for 1 dime. And the opposite. Think about how this can be used for multi-digit addition and subtraction. They can trade dollars, dimes, and pennies as needed to make counting easier and to make subtraction possible.
Having our kids be very comfortable with counting and using coins is a wonderful example of everyday learning, using an everyday activity or skill to learn deeply.
When we understand why our children are struggling with reading comprehension, we can be far more effective in helping them to overcome their struggles.
Vocabulary as a skill is essentially about understanding the meaning of the words being read. A strong vocabulary allows children to understand the meanings of higher level texts.
Some learning disabilities will hinder a child’s vocabulary development or retention, causing them to struggle to understand what they are reading.
When we help them overcome this difficulty, we help them to find more reading comprehension success and enjoyment.
So what can we do to support vocabulary development in those struggling?
First, just use a variety of vocabulary and when you notice a word that is confusing to your child, make a point of adding it to your vocabulary and helping to make neural connections by using it as frequently as you can.
The natural follow up to this is to then reinforce vocabulary as you are reading with your child. Give reminders of words that have previously been practiced.
Next, make building your child’s vocabulary intentional. Play games with vocabulary words, grab a word-a-day calendar, create a vocabulary log/journal where they can record the words they are learning and practice using them a few times.
What to avoid
The old dictionary copying is REALLY bad teaching practice! The kids don’t really learn anything from this approach unless they are able to overcome the tedium to gain interest in the meanings of the words.
I would also recommend avoiding completing vocabulary worksheets. These are similarly boring most of the time, and kids wind up “doing” the worksheet, not learning the vocabulary.
Additionally, keep in mind that almost no one can learn a word after having it explained once. Some kid with memory challenges, will need A LOT of repetition before they actually remember the meaning of the word. Don’t be too eager to constantly introduce new vocabulary, unless you are able to also constantly practice the previously “mastered” vocabulary words.
More TO DO
Develop your own vocabulary and use new words around your kids! Modeling is a great teacher and the more a child hears a particular word in use, the more they will truly understand the word wherever they come across it.
Next, model curiosity around new words and their meanings. Demonstrating that you don’t know every word can be encouraging for kids.
For some kids
For some kids, intervention with a speech and language specialist may be your best choice. You may reach out to your local school district for an evaluation. Medical insurance also covers speech and language services in some cases, so talk to your doctor/insurance about how to have your child evaluated. If you’re up for paying out of pocket, you can research private practices in your area.
Takeaway:
A strong vocabulary leads to improved reading comprehension and should be fostered intentionally.
If you need some help in figuring out more specifics around the HOW to help educate your own child, or to provide your child some extra support, reach out to me (Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com) for more information, or to schedule a call. You can also check out the Available Services page for more information on some options that may work well for you and your family.
Motivation fascinates me and is something I’m constantly researching, contemplating, and re-educating myself about. The funny thing is, what I’ve always known to be true, is what clearly is. And yet, it’s not what society teaches us. We’re taught to use “the carrot and the stick” when finding intrinsic motivation is far superior to any extrinsic motivator.
This week, I want to offer some inspiration in one way to inspire and motivate your children academically. And that is with the use of outings, specifically zoos.
A trip to the zoo can be incredibly motivating and educational without any extra effort or considerations. However, it can also be tailored to be especially motivating to your child with just a little reflection and consideration before you go.
Discussions
Be sure to take time away from the frenzy of “Look at this! Look at that! Look over here! Look over there!” to have some deep discussions with your kid. It will tend to make things go slower, and that might allow everyone to relax and enjoy themselves more. Or, if you all just have to see everything, have the discussions between exhibits.
Some discussions might be:
- Why an animal is doing something (Why is the camel rolling in the mud?)
- How the habitat is designed
- How the zoo chose where to put animals
- What the animals need
- The purpose of zoos
- Ethical considerations around zoos
Writing
All that discussion can definitely be a jumping off point for some writing!
Types of writing that may be generated during or after a zoo visit:
- Journal
- Log
- Letters
- Research paper
- Persuasive writing
- Creative writing
Scavenger Hunts
Scavenger Hunts might be linked to math or a writing or discussion topic, or might just be purely for fun.
Some examples of Scavenger hunts:
- How many "hoofed" animals
- Where are all the restrooms/ water fountains?
- Which animals have bodies of water?
- Specific animals/ items at the zoo
Math!
This is a huge topic and it varies widely by math ability and what your child is working on learning or practicing, as well as what your child is interested in and motivated toward.
Some ideas:
- Counting animals, exhibits, restrooms, etc.
- Adding and subtracting any of the above (“There are 5 gazelles over here and 7 over there, so altogether that is ____”; “There are 12 birds in this aviary, with 5 herons, so that must mean there are how many ducks?”)
- Fractions (the sign says there are 9 giraffes, but we only see 5, so we’ve found 5/9 of the giraffes!)
- Math projects (questions that take extra research and time to carefully calculate and figure out- possibly over lunch, or later at home):
- how much does it cost to feed all of the animals?
- how much space does each elephant need?
Takeaway:
More than anything, I’d like you to be inspired to stay open-minded when it comes to how an outing might be motivational for your child. Allow the discussions to go deep and wander. Do not force anything (it almost never pays off), but encourage! Always remember to model these same skills/ motivations/ activities yourself!
Let me know what inspires your kiddo and what you would add to this list!
Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
My kids are only 2 and 4 years old, but what am I doing to guide their education right now?
First of all, books! We read a lot of books! Those books drive discussions and some other discussions drive us to refer to books. We read a lot of books and we have a lot of discussions and those two things are a huge part of their education.
We go to the park almost daily, meeting kids and playing with old and new friends constantly.
I set up play dates with more and more people. I decide where and when, and the kids decide what to do!
I involve my kids around the house. There are things I expect them to do in terms of cleaning up and tidying up, but I also invite them to join me in the chores that I am doing. I also involve them in grocery shopping, cooking, planning, and other aspects of daily life.
We go on outings to the zoo, the beach, museums, hikes, libraries, and farmers markets.
I’ve signed them up for a couple of classes and am looking to sign them up for more: swim, dance, martial arts, gymnastics, art, and music.
Do I use a curriculum?
No… But I have purchased quite a few! I’ve got a lot of early literacy and early math materials and curriculum supports but we aren’t currently using almost any of it. We’re just now starting to work on learning letters in a concentrated way, but all of the learning is still mostly from books.
Do I follow a particular educational philosophy?
We do some unschooling although it’s probably better described as relaxed homeschooling because I have a specific idea of what I want them to learn, but I go at their pace and follow their lead.
We also follow some wildschooling philosophies, with trying to constantly get outside.
I also adore the Montessori math materials and have purchased some of that and follow their general concepts on how to teach mathematics, although I am not as rigid in our set up or presentation.
For learning letters, I’m playing with a Waldorf book: The Alphabet to inspire them to learn each letter. I love the playful fantasy of Waldorf while also loving the real concreteness and practical application of Montessori.
As my kids start to show preferences over a particular style of acquiring information, our educational system will be further tailored.
And all of this is just what works for us! You will find your own path and what works best for you!
This week, I want to take some time to speak about safety and its impact on education.
If we think about the Hierarchy of Needs (I learned Maslow’s originally, but then found out that Indigenous people have taught very similar hierarchies long before Maslow), the concept is simple: we have to have some basic needs met in order to have space in our lives to access the best of ourselves.
If our children are not fed, rested, and feeling safe, they can not learn. Schools in California (and I’m sure not just California) now offer free breakfast and lunch to every child (no proof of poverty necessary). Schools encourage parents to send children to bed early. Schools provide mental health services at higher rates now than ever before. Schools are trying to step in when parents can’t provide these things to their children.
And that is why I love and support public schools. Public schools are desperately trying to save the world, one child at a time. The public school system may very well be broken, behind the times, and far too bureaucratic, but it’s also never been better (imo). It is also there to serve children, and offer them the best it can.
But this episode isn’t really about public schools, because this podcast is aimed at parents and how parents can support their child’s education.
To support your child’s education, you need to be sure that their needs are met. So let’s cover the easiest stuff first, the stuff that is so obvious it shouldn’t need to be said, but since we are in it daily we might need that gentle reminder:
Make sure your kid is getting adequate sleep.
Make sure your kid is getting fed adequately.
Make sure your kid feels seen, loved, understood.
Make sure your kid is clean, and dressed comfortably.
A little less obvious: Make sure your kid’s sensory needs are met. Are they sensitive to light or sound or certain textures? Do they need pressure? Do they need movement?
Any of these things can distract your child from being able to focus on their education- whether they are homeschooled or schooled with others.
But because we are relational beings, the needs of others will impact your child as well. A cranky first grader might ruin your child’s day because that kid didn’t get enough sleep and your child was standing too close to them at lunch. A sullen 5th grader may bully your child daily because they feel so inadequate themselves, and because empathy was never instilled in them.
When we support public schools, we support our society. Right now, public schools are under attack. And everyone is being harmed by these attacks.
If you want to support your child’s education, you need to support your local public schools. Ask what they need in regard to what you are able to offer: volunteer time, money, supply donations, organizational skills. Stand up for them when others criticize unfairly. Post support of teachers, who are trying their best to be the best for our country’s children.
Again, schools have a lot that needs to be fixed. Teachers are often not taught what they most need to learn to be a truly good teacher. There is still a disgusting obsession with behaviorism in schools. I have many complaints, but the people are loving and deserve support. The concept of free education should be expanded, not attacked.
Beyond supporting public schools, support your community. Maybe you can let the schools know that if someone seems to have trouble with drop-offs and pick-ups, that they can reach out to you and you’ll help. Maybe you can volunteer in whatever area is a good fit for you: animal shelter, food pantry, hospital, library, etc.
Now, I would also encourage you to advocate for your kid and others: teenagers have different rhythms than young kids. They are biologically wired (and technology makes this way worse) to stay up later and sleep in later. They need their schools to start later. Go to your school board and fight for later start times. Early start times are impacting their education.
Representation matters. What our children are taught matters. Be vocal in your support of all children feeling seen and validated. Kids from families that are black, brown, gay, transgender, muslim, atheist, and everything else all need to know they are not the only ones. And the other kids need to know that too!
Representation improves the emotional and social well being of all children.
And of course- we need to stop the mass shootings that make all of us fearful. Vote, call, write, and make your voice heard.
“I don’t know what to write!”
Sound familiar?
If so, I’ve got you!
Some kids can stare at a blank page and have no clue how to begin to write something.
Conversations
Before beginning to write, kids benefit from discussing what they might write about. They need to toss around some ideas with someone. I can’t remember who said it, but I’ve been told, “If you can speak, you can write!”
Research/Inspiration
Depending on what they are writing, kids will need to do some research, or at least will benefit from gaining some inspiration. Research and inspiration can come from books, movies, and “field trips” to museums, gardens, trails, beaches, etc!
Brainstorming
Before deciding on a topic, brainstorming can help get the ideas flowing. I find that a lot of the students I work with benefit from me being their scribe, writing down all of their ideas for them, so they can just focus on thinking!
An alternative is to have them use Voice Typing to get their initial ideas out. This can help the be more independent in the brainstorming step. However, they’ll need some training in how to take this “brain dump” and pull out the pieces they need from it.
Adding Details
After a brainstorm, your child should have a general idea of what they want to write about. Using a graphic organizer such as the Flow Map or Tree Map by Thinking Maps can help kids organize their thoughts with relevant details.
Similarly, you might train your child to use index cards, bullet points, or another type of outline.
During all of these steps, your child might benefit from you being their scribe, so that they can focus on the thinking part. (No, this isn’t cheating, you’re just accommodating your child. Just remember all the rich bosses who used to dictate everything to secretaries who did all the actual writing for them! And now voice typing is so common, that your child will always have access to a scribe!)
What do you do to support your kiddo in generating ideas for writing?
“How do I get my kid to write?!”
I’ve heard this same question countless times. And with this year’s focus on motivation, I wanted to answer it!
There are so many strategies that can be helpful, but all require that you let go of any particular expectation of what the writing might look like.
Modeling
One of the most motivating ways to get your child interested in writing is to not pressure them into it, but to model it to them. As you read the below ideas, consider first trying these yourself before even mentioning it to your child. Let your child ask YOU what you are doing and see if they ask to join you!
Journals/Logs
Many kids enjoy keeping some kind of log or journal. This might be a nature journal that they take with them any time they are out in nature, or that they use to record what they saw after they’ve come back home.
The journal might be a travel journal, especially if your family is one that does a lot of travel. They might write about their adventures, what they saw, what they learned, what they ate, etc.
The journal might be a food journal. Maybe they record everything they eat or maybe they just record their favorite foods or the foods they eat when you all go out to eat or try a new recipe.
The journal might be about animals. Maybe wild animals that they see. Maybe they like to go bird–watching. Mabe the journal is about their pets, or about an insect they “adopted”. Maybe they journal to record the changes in a caterpillar that they have inside or outside.
The journal might be about plants- either ones they have found or ones that they are purposefully growing. They might record the trees in the neighborhood and how they change throughout the year, or what they are doing to care for the plants in the garden (and how well it is working).
The journal might be a gratitude journal, listing each day or each week all the things they are grateful for. Or a prayer journal. Or a pride journal, listing all the things that they are proud of themselves for each day.
Letters
You might help your child find a pen pal. Or they might write to family or friends, including a friend they met on a trip.
They might write letters of thanks for gifts they were given after a birthday or holiday.
Or they might write letters as part of some activism. They might write letters to politicians, or to the newspaper, or to others calling them to take action on something they are passionate about.
Creative
Some kids love to get creative in their writing, once the idea is suggested or demonstrated. They can write make-believe letters or journals. They might create short stories or full novels. They might write a play (that perhaps will get acted out!).
Research Projects
Some kids are passionate about a particular subject and eager to learn more about the topic. This can lead them to write about all that they have learned, synthesizing their ideas.
Strewing
Sometimes just laying out a pencil and paper (or notebook/journal) can entice a child to start writing! Maybe it’s stationary or a fancy pen.
Tools
Some kids have fine motor difficulty or difficulty with spelling and it can cause a greater resistance to writing because of the multiple skills that are required to be successful in their endeavor. Using Voice Typing (Google docs has it for free under “tools”) can allow them to turn their thoughts into writing more easily. (See my video on how to use this here)
Takeaway
Go back and look through the extensive list here and then choose what YOU will try! Remember that if you aren’t doing it, your child is less likely to adopt writing into their daily activities.
Background
Wesley was brilliant in so many ways. He could read and comprehend grade-level texts. He understood math. And he was reluctant to write ANYTHING!
He would sit for an hour staring at a blank page. If anyone asked if he needed help, he’d say no, “I’m thinking.”
Spelling was difficult for him and he had fine motor difficulty as well. I know this was PART of his writing reluctance. It wasn’t the whole story though.
Wesley just couldn’t figure out how to put his thoughts into words. I suspect he thought in pictures and emotions more than in words.
What worked?
It took a variety of strategies to help Wesley.
To start with, we’d supply sentence starters when he was stuck. As he got better at it, we would question him so that he could be the one that was creating the sentence starter when answering a question.
I would also offer idea choices. These are those suggestions that most of us are already doing. I tried to do it based on conversations we’ve already had.
Having conversations with Wesley was very helpful. We’d talk about the question he was trying to answer, the essay he was trying to write, or anything related that might provide information or background knowledge. I would ask questions to get more information on the topic, and also just to try to get the ideas flowing!
I would usually scribe for Wesley, writing down for him what he was saying. This was because he had difficulty with spelling and with fine motor tasks such as forming letters.
These difficulties made the task of writing significantly MORE difficult by requiring concentration and use of additional skills that he hadn’t yet mastered- splitting his attention and making it harder to focus on the already difficult task of thinking about what to write!
Besides my scribing, Wesley also had access to Voice Typing whenever he wanted to use it, but this was rarely sufficient. He needed help in getting his thoughts on what to write.
There were times, however, when all of these supports just weren’t what Wesley needed. Sometimes, he did just need time to sit and think or for the writing assignment to be put aside for a while.
Do you have a kiddo who struggles to come up with what to write? What works for your child? Please share!
Reading Comprehension is often impacted by learning disabilities.
Some learning disabilities impact a child’s ability to comprehend anything, such as with a language processing disorder.
Some learning disabilities impact a child’s ability to just read the words, which then brings down their reading comprehension score. If you can’t read a text, you’re not going to be able to comprehend it without it being read aloud to you.
And that’s how you can tell the difference, most of the time. Typically, if a child can understand what they listen to (a story or directions, etc), they will be able to understand it when they read it to themselves (with sufficient accuracy and fluency).
However, if a child can’t understand what is read aloud, then they are less likely to understand what they are reading, regardless of how well they can read.
Essentially, if a child has a strong reading ability, their reading comprehension and listening comprehension should be equal.
We also have to discuss the levels of comprehension.
Some kids are able to recite back the basic facts of a story, and this is considered the base level of comprehension. “Just the facts!”
Kids then need to be able to answer inferential and analytical questions, making sense of what they are reading in a deeper way. They know not just that the character wore a red jacket, but that they must have worn a red jacket because it was cold, further validated by the description of gray clouds in the sky.
They also need to be able to make predictions about what may happen next, using logic, background knowledge, and an understanding of what has happened thus far.
Further, kids need to be able to evaluate what they are reading. Does it make sense or are their plot holes? Does it do an adequate job of describing people, places, events, etc? How well can the reader relate to the story? Who was the likely intended audience? What was the author’s purpose? And on and on.
So how do we boost reading comprehension?
There are many ideas in the Octopus’s Guide to Reading Comprehension, so download that guide, if you haven’t already! (And if you have, refer back to it!)
Beyond that, we can also simply make deep discussions a regular part of our day. We can discuss books that we read aloud to our children, or that they read aloud to us. We can discuss audiobooks that we listen to together. And we can also discuss shows and movies in much the same way, asking the same sorts of questions and validating our children’s thoughts and ideas.
How is your child doing with comprehension? What have you noticed?
Email me! Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
Wanting to motivate your child to read?
So many of us parents are avid readers and want to instill a love of reading into our children. However, it’s not something that can be achieved through force. In fact, any coercion is likely to have the opposite effect!
However, we can inspire our children to want to read. But to do so, we may have to think outside of the box.
First, we have to meet our kids where they’re at. We have to take into consideration any learning disabilities/ challenges that they have. If they have a short attention span, we can’t expect them to sit down to read a novel. If they struggle to decode words or to read fluently, we can’t expect them to read for long without wearing out mentally.
We also have to take into consideration their interests. Allowing them to read books of their choice is paramount, but we may also need to consider other reading activities beyond books.
For example, putting captions on a TV show or movie can help reinforce reading. Allowing kids to play video games can be a very motivating way for many kids to read. I’ve heard many times that it was wanting to be able to read a video game that led a child to learn to read, or to become better at reading. (To be clear- the reading is part of the video game, not a requirement to be allowed to play the video game.)
A child may be capable of reading at an 8th grade level, but still gravitate toward the picture books. Let them. Many picture books are actually written at a high level, and the pictures may be supporting their comprehension or the short stories may be supporting their attention span and mental effort. There is no harm in kids who are “capable” of reading high level books choosing to read simple books or picture books, as long as they are wanting to read!
Similarly, many kids enjoy graphic novels. Some parents worry that it is too little reading, but the same principles as with picture books would apply here.
Similar to graphic novels is visual novels, a type of video game that is telling a story. Again, there is a lot of reading involved in this, and it can be very engaging for kids.
As you can probably guess, I have no problem with kids reading books that are above or below their “ability” level, if it is what they are wanting to read. When kids are interested, they’re engaging in learning. Even if the words are easy, they’ll get something out of it, or they wouldn’t bother reading it.
A final tip- model a love of reading to your kids. Read books yourself, where they can see you. Talk to them about books you are reading and enjoying, and books that you read and enjoyed when you were younger, closer to their age or ability level.
What’s working for you?
Clarissa started speaking at the expected time, she was very social, she had no articulation errors (her speech sounds were correct), and she could read books that were close to her grade-level. However, she could not understand what she read. The level that she could comprehend was far below the level at which she could read. And she could not understand any directions that were more than a single, simple step.
So what did we do for dear Clarissa?
We started with an additional assessment by a speech and language pathologist (SLP), who determined that Clarissa has a language processing disorder and recommended speech and language services.
With these services added, I was able to collaborate with the SLP to reinforce what was being worked on there. My main focus was working on building up Clarissa’s reading comprehension.
I had Clarissa read texts in small chunks, just one or two sentences at a time. These texts were well below her reading ability level, and she read them multiple times.
Then we focused on visualization of these 1-2 simple sentences. I would have her describe what the sentences she had just read LOOKED like. At times, I would have her draw something she had just read about (she enjoyed art). She also would act out some of what she read.
We bolstered her vocabulary knowledge explicitly and had her act or draw out the vocabulary within the context of what she was reading.
We helped build connections between what she was reading and any other background knowledge she might need to better understand it.
And we focused on her interests- providing books that she wanted to read, and texts about subjects that she was interested in.
With time and a lot of patient practice, Clarissa began to more quickly comprehend what she was reading, and was able to comprehend most of what she was reading. She still had more to practice, but she was on the way!
I was hesitant to hold this interview, but went forward with it. I was then hesitant to publish this interview, but have decided to do so.
I am not endorsing the product, Elephant Learning. I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t use it!
I was not given access to Elephant Learning to trial so I can’t speak to it from any personal experience/ first-hand knowledge.
Before you listen to the interview, I want to share my thoughts.
First, the pros:
- Data- allows for a clear picture of how well a child is learning various skills; motivates a child to see their own progress
- Individualized- pre-assessment and monitoring allow each child to receive just the lessons/practice that they need
- Instructs in math language, which can otherwise hinder a child from understanding what their teacher is talking about
- Support is available to help parents work through difficulties and know how to best teach their kids
Now, the cons:
- I’m not sure that it actually teaches math concepts, possibly just math vocabulary?
- If a child struggles, there is no reteaching of a concept in a new way (I have yet to see a program actually do this)
- Requires parent/teacher involvement if a child gets “stuck”; meaning that you are likely to have to teach your child how to do all of the math. However, teaching them so that they can make progress can help kids want to learn the math that you are teaching.
- They claim 1 ½ years of growth in a 3 month period but I’m not clear that any outside assessments confirm this rate of growth and I’ve seen similar claims made by other programs that are really just using their own data and skewing things in their favor. Outside measures don’t support the claims from these other programs, and I’m not sure that Elephant Math is actually any different.
- Not a full curriculum, only supplementary.
- Might be too language-heavy for some kids who need more of a visual or kinesthetic understanding of math as their foundation prior to learning any vocabulary. (Aditya says that math is best learned through discovering concepts, but they start each lesson with definitions…)
What I hope you get out of listening:
- Your own thoughts and insights into whether this program or one of the MANY others like it would be good for your family
- What to consider when making these purchases
- What a math program should include
- Be aware of the emotional appeal these products are making
Addition is such a common math skill and yet, you may have found yourself wondering HOW to teach it!
To begin with, kids need a few “pre-adding skills”, skills that they must be comfortable with before they can successfully learn to add. They must be able to count, they must recognize numbers and the plus and equals symbols, and they must have 1:1 correspondence.
All math skills should be taught first with concrete exploration, then pictorial representation, and finally with abstract practice (such as standard algorithms).
Early Addition (K - 1st)
Addition starts with just adding small numbers within 5, then within 10, within 20, and within 100. Each step takes on a new level of difficulty for a child. Some progress quickly but others need time to work through each new challenge.
Rushing kids through any level is likely to cause difficulty later on.
When introducing addition to your child for the first time, be sure to have lots of practice with physical objects. To start with, your child will just be exposed to conversations about addition. “You have two carrots. If I give you two more, you’ll have 4!”
When the concept of adding objects is solid, they can be presented with pictures and discuss the addition represented by those pictures.
Finally, the algorithm can be presented. In the course of all of these (concrete, pictorial, and abstract), stories about the numbers should be used. This helps to make the connection between numbers/addition and story problems, helping to prevent difficulty with “word problems” later on.
Before moving into double-digit addition, addition of multiple addends should be introduced (5 + 4 + 3 + 2).
Multiple-digit Addition (2nd - 4th)
Once kids are adding single digit numbers to double-digit numbers with confidence, they’ll move into adding 2 two-digit numbers, first without regrouping (also called carrying), and then with regrouping (carrying).
Again, we want to introduce this concept with concrete and pictorial before jumping to the abstract with just numbers and symbols. The tendency to rush kids through these skills can lead to kids knowing tricks and performing the addition task without truly understanding how the numbers are working, which can cause difficulty later.
I highly encourage the use of base ten blocks, or the Montessori “Golden Beads” to support the understanding of place value with addition. A 100s Number Table is also beneficial in moving from concrete through to abstract (and in supporting abstract).
Decimal Addition
After children have mastered adding multiple-digit numbers with regrouping, they can start to add decimal numbers. First, they’ll add numbers that have the same number of decimal places. (3.56 + 4.12) But then they’ll start to have numbers with different numbers of decimals places. (3.56 + 2.3)
To be successful at this level, kids need to have a strong understanding of place value and exactly what decimal places are representing. Many kids will think that 2.567 is a larger value than 35.3, for example.
One way to support this understanding of place value is to use those same base ten blocks as before, or something similar, perhaps using a different color for decimals, to avoid some confusion.
Once at the abstract stage, I would suggest setting the problems up horizontally so that the child has to then “stack” the problem accurately, understanding how it must line up.
Fraction Addition
Around the same time, and possibly prior to, decimal addition, children will often be taught fraction addition. First, the numbers will have the same denominator. Working with fraction tiles, legos, or evenly sliced foods (such as pie) are all helpful concrete representations of what a fraction is and how it works.
And it is critical for kids to truly understand what numerators and denominators represent before attempting to manipulate fractions by adding them.
When moving from concrete and pictorial to abstract in this step, I often encourage kids to think of the denominator as “apples” to help them remember not to add the denominators! Instead of ⅜ + 2/8 they might say, “3 apples plus 2 apples”. This can help them to remember that denominators are the name of the size of the object, not a number to be manipulated during addition. Side warning: never teach multiplication and division of fractions at the same time as addition and subtraction. The different rules can be very confusing to keep straight!
Once adding small fractions of the same denominator are solid, you’ll add in adding fractions more than 1, and learning how to turn an “improper fraction” (also called “a fraction greater than 1”) into a “mixed number”.
Then kids will add different denominators, first less than 1, and then more than 1, and mixed numbers together.
Again, having something physical to represent those numbers is important in demonstrating why ⅔ + ¾ does NOT equal 5/7, as they are likely to want to try. They need to see and feel why different denominators require first finding a common denominator (or “cutting all the pieces to be the same size”).
With fractions, use concrete and pictorial representations for longer than you think necessary as anything with fractions tend to be confusing to kids, even after they seem to have mastered it. Also, be sure you are practicing it frequently after it is mastered so that it stays fresh for them.
Algebraic Addition
Having letters and symbols represent a missing number can happen early on, as soon as a child seems to have first mastered adding using an algorithm. This makes them truly understand all of the pieces of the algorithm and what each piece represents. It may not be how you were taught, but it can be beneficial for your own kids!
Takeaway
Addition requires skills to be mastered before beginning and new skills before increasing the difficulty. Use concrete, pictorial, and then abstract when teaching addition (and all math skills).
Your spouse/partner comes to you and says, “Hey, I need you to organize the shelves in the garage this weekend.”
-OR-
“Hey, I’d love to get the garage organized this weekend! Would you be willing to handle the shelves? Or would you rather tackle the pile of tools?”
Which would most get you on board with their project?
I am certainly MUCH more motivated when I’m not being told what to do, but being given choice.
As promised, I’m back with more ideas on what TO DO to motivate your learner!
Back in January, I had a fabulous discussion with Vibha Arora in which she suggested giving a child autonomy if they are shutting down and refusing to work.
I agreed with Vibha on so many things, and this was no exception!
Autonomy is very motivating!
When a child is told that they “have to” do something, a child’s autonomy is being removed and they will fight to get it back. “You have to ____” is instantly going to make a child less willing and interested in doing that thing.
Autonomy’s definition is: “the capacity to make an informed, uncoerced decision”. When we are using rewards and punishments, we are using coercion.
How do we boost autonomy and motivation?
Give Choices!
Give developmentally-appropriate choices. Two choices for some kids, and many more for others.
Give meaningful choices. Asking “do you want to use the crayon or colored pencil?” is less meaningful than “do you want to practice counting or do you want to practice your letters?” Both kinds of choices can boost autonomy, but more meaningful choices will go further in this aim.
When kids feel powerless, they fight back. Which then causes us to up-level our authoritarian instincts (or is it just me?). We start to threaten or punish and they feel more powerless and things just spiral…
But the opposite is also true: the more often we give choices, the more empowered they feel.
When giving choices, you can give information about what is important to you. “It is important that you work on learning your letter sounds.” Then asking them how they’d like to do it, but offering choices that they can select from.
Younger kids will have had less exposure to all the different options in how to learn something, so giving them a variety to choose from is helpful in their selecting a choice. Older kids won’t necessarily need specific choice, but just the freedom to come up with ideas on how to achieve the goal.
Give Responsibility
When you are giving meaningful choices, you are giving kids control over something and allowing them to recognize that their choices are important.
Don’t force the responsibility, but allow for it. Allow them to engage meaningfully in the family and participate in what needs to happen.
Rather than choosing a curriculum for your child, allow them to choose for themselves. This might be between two choices you’ve looked at, or it might be more open-ended and allowing them to do all the research behind it (for older kids). (“Would you like to use A or B for your reading curriculum? Look at these features…” or “We need a reading curriculum for next school year, do you want to take the lead on researching and choosing one?”)
We might also allow our child to choose how or where they go to school. Maybe they can choose between two nearby schools, or maybe they can choose home school or public school. Maybe you homeschool, but are open to them selecting the style of homeschooling.
You can allow them to take responsibility over their work space. And with that and other responsibilities, you can give parameters around what is acceptable to you, and establish what is important to them. “You need a clear space where you can focus on your studies.” and “I need this desk kept cleared off when you’re not using it because having clutter in the living room doesn’t work for me.”
Give responsibility as a gift. Responsibility comes with benefits and consequences. It can allow for more freedom, but also more opportunity for messing up and needing to make repairs. Give responsibility and trust in your child.
Follow Their Lead
Whatever a child is already interested in, they’re already intrinsically motivated toward. Encourage and support these interests as well as doing whatever you can to encourage them in developing new interests. (These are the WORST times to utilize rewards!)
Takeaway: Autonomy can be very motivating!
How do YOU foster autonomy?
When asked to add two numbers, what is your child’s strategy?
Kids like “Freddy” add by always starting at 1, instead of “counting on” from one of the two numbers.
For kid’s like Freddy, there is a lack of number sense that is slowing them down and can cause bigger problems later, so it’s worth fixing now!
What worked- Asking Questions
“How many fingers are on that hand?”
“What comes after 5?”
For a lot of kids, these questions aren’t enough because they haven’t practiced counting on so they aren’t able to.
What worked- Practice Counting On
Build into your routine regularly starting the count from numbers other than 1 and zero!
As you’re out on a walk or driving in the car, just start counting on from a different number and then stop to let your kiddo take over. “3, 4, 5…” “32, 33, 34….”
At home, start counting on, and then mime handing the mic over to your kid for them to then continue. Then switch and have them start and hand you the mic.
*Keep in mind that the biggest challenge in counting on for most kids is “29…” (and 39, 49, 59, etc). I would recommend practicing this after they’re more comfortable with the easier ones, and then be sure to practice this one A LOT! You’d be shocked how many older kids still struggle with this!
Model
“7 + 2. Okay, 7, 8, 9! 7 + 2 is 9!”
Explicit Instruction
You can explicitly teach a child to use the counting-on strategy. This should be a quick 5 minute lesson in which you show your child. “I’m going to show you a way to add a little faster! Watch me.”
Specific Practice
Once your child has learned this strategy, let them know that they are going to practice it and then have them do a few problems on a worksheet to practice. You can also play games instead. I like using cards or dice to mix things up a bit. I might roll two dice and have my child write down the numbers and then I’ll cover the die that has the higher value, encouraging them to count on from that number. With cards, I’ll do essentially the same. (I also might practice without writing anything down)
“When you finish that math worksheet, you have the reading comprehension one from yesterday to finish.”
Does that sound reasonable?
To most of us, it does. We have likely heard and maybe said something very similar ourselves.
In a society focused on how “productive” a person is, we expect kids to finish worksheets like it is their job.
We even talk about school being a child’s job, and some parents pay kids for how well they do at their job! (Please see the episode “Motivation Killers” on why I don’t support this practice)
But learning is way more important than a job. We can choose to quit a job, and we can choose to quit doing a “learning activity”, but the actual learning is happening. Kids are constantly learning, especially when they are having fun and are interested in what they’re doing.
The more focused we are on a particular task being completed, the more likely it is that our child will find the task unpleasant and learn little from it.
Instead, ask yourself, “what is my goal in giving my child this task?”
Now, a worksheet to practice a particular math strategy is totally valid. I recommend starting with hands-on learning first, and then worksheets can provide good practice and review.
However, the goal of the worksheet is to allow for that practice, not to finish a worksheet. And maybe completing two problems is sufficient practice. Maybe two full pages is more appropriate.
And there are plenty of times that a worksheet is too easy and not helpful practice, or too difficult and getting the child to complete it leads to a child who has a finished worksheet that they have no idea how to do or what they were supposed to have learned from it.
I see this last one all the time. The other day I was given an incomplete comprehension page that one of my students was supposed to finish with me because they didn’t do it in class. I immediately could see that the worksheet was at a much higher reading level than this child’s ability, and was not on a topic the child was interested in.
I certainly could have gotten that worksheet finished with the child, but I have limited time with these kids and I want the time that I do have with them to be used wisely. So, instead of doing the worksheet, we worked on what I had planned already- some reading and math activities that were at her level.
The next time you are about to ask your child to complete something, question yourself: what is the purpose of this activity? At what point will it have fulfilled its function? Is it an appropriate level for my child? And then make an appropriate plan with that information.
Phonics is all about the relationship between sounds and letters and using that letter-sound knowledge to read and spell words!
With a strong phonics knowledge, your child will be able to read and spell unfamiliar words.
But phonics can also be confusing! In English, there are 44 sounds, 26 letters, and 75 basic phonograms (single or multi-letter representations of sounds).
And kids with dyslexia REALLY struggle with phonics!
If you show your child a nonsense word (like fisp), can they read it? If you ask them to spell ‘plit’, how do they do?
If your child is struggling with phonics development, there are things we can do to help them!
First of all, there are Orton-Gillingham based programs that provide a strong phonemic awareness and phonics foundation.
But you can also follow the same basic process at home, by following a few steps:
Step 1: Start by developing phonemic awareness! Check out the episode on phonemic awareness for specific steps on how to do this part yourself!
Step 2: Be sure your child knows the letter and sound correspondences. For most kids, this is just about plenty of exposure and practice. It could be flashcards, but multi-sensory approaches typically work best.
- Write letters in sand, build them with playdough, make whole body dance moves about letters and sounds!
-
Some kids with dyslexia need the mouth formation for each letter sound really demonstrated explicitly for them.
-
Keep in mind that there are 75 basic phonograms and many of those 26 letters have multiple sounds
Step 3: Have your child put their letter-sound knowledge to use! Reading is typically easier than spelling for most kids, so reading will develop faster. Take each at their own pace!
Get progressively more complex (C = consonant sound; V = Vowel sound):
- CVC
- VCC
- CCV
- CVCC
- CCVC
- CCVCC
Step 4: Next come the multisyllabic words!
- Take individual words that they can read and make compound words.
- Then use prefixes and suffixes.
Many multi-syllabic words are VERY phonetic, making them easy to read and spell once a child knows how to chunk them and use phonics skills!
Takeaway: Phonics is important, but can be difficult for those with dyslexia. A systematic intervention is necessary (but it is also something that you can provide completely for free!)
If you suspect your child may have dyslexia, take the quiz “Is My Child Dyslexic?” here to find out how likely it is! (This is not a diagnostic tool, but a simple pre-screener that you can use to help guide you!)
Stop with the sticker charts, cookies, threats, and bribes! Put down the gold star! Don’t say, “if you ….” ever again!
There’s a better way!
To be completely transparent, this better way is not likely to be faster… at first.
But as I talked about in the episode “Motivation Killers”, all of those bribes don’t work very well in the long term. You have to keep upping your game, promising more and more.
However, there is something that doesn’t require any upping of the ante, or any tricks. And it works to motivate your kiddo in the long-term.
Actually, there are SEVERAL somethings that work like that!
Today though, we are talking about RELATIONSHIPS!
The relationship between a parent and child can be very powerful in motivating a child to do something that we are asking them to do. Or in motivating them to learn something specific.
When our children feel seen, loved, and respected, they are much more likely to be helpful. And when they feel respected by us, it opens them up to be interested in what we are doing.
A strong relationship with your child can lead them to be interested in what we are interested in, or in feeling free to explore something that they are interested in!
When children feel that they are in conflict with us and that we are threatening their autonomy, they aren’t very likely to be cooperative (especially as they get older and need to express their autonomy!). But when we have a mindset based around respect and being on their side in all challenges, they see us as someone who they can come to with difficulties, and maybe even someone with interesting ideas!
What are you doing to foster the relationship you have with your child?
I want to tell you about Rita.
Rita was a student I worked with MANY years ago (more than I can believe!).
I was a new teacher and knew almost nothing about dyslexia. I had heard of it, but got no training on it in my credentialing classes to become a special education teacher (education specialist). Can you believe that?!
Poor Rita. She couldn’t rhyme, blend, or segment in kindergarten. And I didn’t really know what to do about it except to practice MORE rhyming, blending, and segmenting. For a few years, we kept at it, while also working on sight words and other reading skills.
Rita was able to stay at grade-level in her reading but couldn’t rhyme, blend, or segment much at all. (Despite all of the practice we had been doing!)
I’m a researcher by nature. I love to read and research any topic I’m interested in, and especially ones around problems I’m trying to solve for myself, my family, or my students!
So I read and read and realized I needed to do something more fundamental than the rhyming, blending, and segmenting that I had been doing!
Eventually, we found success and Rita was able to segment and blend and read unknown words, although rhyming was never her strong suit! She became a strong reader who could figure out some rhymes.
The first things that helped a little was just an overall increase in Rita’s exposure to rhyming. We played rhyming games, practiced rhyming, books, poems, songs, videos. This was the stuff I did early on that seemed to help some, but not nearly enough.
Eventually, I used a systematic phonemic awareness instruction. It included a lot of specific segmenting and blending practice. For more on how that works, check out the episode/blog on Phonemic Awareness and Dyslexia.
Takeaway: Rhyming isn’t easy and isn’t automatic for some kids. They need systematic interventions.
If you want to learn how to teach your own child with dyslexia, email me at Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
In the quiz “Is My Child Dyslexic” there are ten questions. Knowing the purpose of each of these questions can help you to best determine what your best next steps are.
And if you want to work with me directly, check out Word Warriors!
Kids with dyslexia struggle with Phonemic Awareness. But what does that mean?
Phonemic Awareness Skills
Kids who are strong in Phonemic Awareness are kids that are able to segment, blend, delete, and rhyme!
Segmenting means taking a word and breaking into individual sounds. Example: you tell your kid, “Cat” and they are able to tell you: “/k/ /a/ /t/”. This is all by sound! No looking at words, using letter tiles, or writing anything down!
Blending means taking individual sounds and turning them into a smooth word. Now you’re reversing the task for your kid. You say something like “/k/ /a/ /t/” and they can say, “cat!” Again, this is all by sound, not reading the letters for help.
Deleting means taking one sound out of a word. You might ask your child, “Say ‘cat’ without saying /k/” and they have to be able to say: “at”. (Again- no letters! No pictures, all just by sound.)
And rhyming, of course, is deleting the initial sound(s) and replacing it with (a) new initial sound(s). “What rhymes with cat?” “bat, fat, hat, rat, mat, sat, that, flat…”
Bonus- pig latin! This is a manipulation of a word, removing the initial consonant sound(s) (if there are any), moving that sound to the end of the word, and adding “-ay” to the end of the word. “Cat” becomes “atkay”. “I can speak pig latin” becomes “Iay ankay eakspay igpay atinlay.”
Why it matters
Phonemic Awareness leads to the ability to read and spell unknown words. This allows individuals to independently read increasingly complex texts and write about what they are spelling.
Some kids with dyslexia, or with insufficient phonemic awareness and phonics instruction, become great sight readers. They memorize how to say a word very well and are able to progress with grade-level reading ability. However, as words become increasingly complex, and as they are presented with less and less auditory input for what they are reading (fewer read alouds!), they are going to start to really struggle to know what they are reading.
Phonemic Awareness is hindered by dyslexia
Phonological Processing is necessary for Phonemic awareness and kids with dyslexia have a phonological processing deficit. Therefore, phonemic awareness is unlikely to develop easily in a child with dyslexia.
What do we do about it?
What can we do to support phonemic awareness development in those with dyslexia?
Developing phonemic awareness in a child with dyslexia is a worthwhile endeavor, allowing them to be more successful in their reading and spelling! However, it isn’t easy. It requires specific, structured, intentional instruction over many months, or even years.
One of the most strongly recommended types of programs for those with dyslexia is Orton-Gillingham based strategies. These can get pricey. They are well-developed and worth the cost for those who can afford it and want a specialized tutor or want a ready-made program.
But you can also implement all of these strategies for free yourself!
Step 1: Start by dragging out a word until your child can hear each sound. Example: saying “Caaaaat!” while also moving your hand across their visual field (in front of them) to help them notice when one sound is changing into another.
Step 2: Next you want your child to be able to delete one of the sounds after they’ve said all of the sounds.
Step 3: Trade a sound: “Say ‘fip’. Say all of the sounds in ‘fip’. Say /d/ instead of /f/ Now what is the word? (dip)”
Step 4: Notice when and how a nonsense word changes
Step 5: Rhyming the words.
When they’ve mastered one level, repeat the above, getting progressively more complex (slowly!) General progression (C= consonant sound; V= vowel):
CVC
VCC
CCV
CVCC
CCVC
CCVCC
If step 1 above does not work for your kid, try Step 0!
Step 0: break compound words into the component words. (pancake is made up of pan and cake!)
For some kids: even those start points are too difficult. They need to start by feeling the sound of a letter in their mouths. You want them to feel what each sound feels like in their mouth. You want them to notice whether or not the voice box is on, what is happening with the tongue, teeth, and the lips.
Takeaway:
Phonemic Awareness is important, but is difficult for those with dyslexia. A systematic intervention is necessary to truly meet the needs of those with dyslexia.
Each month on the Decoding Learning Differences podcast, I’ll be digging into motivation. And to kick off the year, I’m starting with what NOT to do, so that we can spend the rest of the year diving into what TO DO!
This episode goes into three “Motivation Killers”: Punishments, Rewards, and Praise. (Although praise is actually a type of reward).
Punishment
Now that corporal punishment (physical abuse/hitting) is very rare and illegal in most states, punishment is usually about taking something away from a child (called a negative punishment). Punishments you may have seen in schools:
“You didn't do your work, you don't get to go out to recess.”
“You didn't do well enough, you get an F.”
“You get a zero.”
“You have a missing notice that has to go home and get signed by your parents.”
Now, that last one can also be a type of communication between parents and teachers and doesn’t need to be punitive. It really depends on the teacher’s mindset. Do they want to punish or just communicate? Is the note given privately and with empathy or is the kid put on blast in front of the whole class? Is the tone of voice kind or upset?
Similarly, at home we tend to not spank much anymore (there is a lot of evidence around the harm that spanking causes) but we will take things away (negative punishment):
“You didn’t do your homework, you don’t get to watch TV” (or ride your bike, or play on the tablet, etc)
All of these punishments send the message that you believe the child has willfully chosen to do the “wrong thing” or to not do well enough on an assignment, etc. All of these punishments create a power struggle between child and adult. All of these punishments can cause kids to feel like they are bad or dumb.
Rewards
We can also flip some punishments to be rewards: “you don’t get to watch TV until you do your homework.”
Or we can use bribes, “If you read this page to me, you get an M&M!”
We’re letting kids know that doing the homework or reading is not worth doing unless they are being “paid” to do it. “If you do A, I’ll give you B” let’s the child know that A is a bad thing and B is a good thing. If they already like A, they quickly start to realize that they’re not supposed to.
If your kid loved eating broccoli, you could kill that love pretty quickly by telling them they only get ice cream if they eat their broccoli and then one day stop giving them ice cream.
Reading is a wonderful and pleasurable activity for people to engage in. Writing, mathematics, athletic endeavors, and playing music are also. If we start rewarding a child for engaging in any of these, we are sending the opposite message. We are telling kids that they shouldn’t like these. They should only like TV, tablets, candy, etc.
Because I never want my young children to lose their love of books and reading, I will never bribe or otherwise reward them for reading with me. Reading is already intrinsically motivating and enjoyable.
Praise
Praise is a specific type of reward. Saying, “good job” tells a child that they are being evaluated. It lets the child know that there is a right and wrong way to do things and that they better be careful not to do the wrong thing.
This can kill creativity. If a child comes up to you with their drawing and you say it’s a beautiful drawing, expect to see lots more just like it. They’re less likely to risk drawing something different because you might not like it. They’ll stick with the safe drawing.
If a child is working on writing, and you tell them, “great hook!” you are giving a specific praise, but you are still evaluating them and they’re likely to use the same type of hook in their next piece of writing. (A hook is the beginning of the writing that grabs a reader’s attention)
Keep in mind that many famous, award-winning authors were rejected by dozens of publishers before being picked up and then going on to become famous. Those professionals didn’t think that book was good enough but now it’s being taught in classes on literature. It doesn’t matter what those particular professionals thought of the book and it really doesn’t matter whether or not you like the hook.
It does matter whether or not your child is able to learn and grow from what they are doing. It does matter how they feel about their writing. So, ask them questions:
“How do you feel about the hook?”
“What part do you feel you really nailed?”
“What are you going to work on improving next time?”
“Are you aware of the conventions around dialogue? May I show you how we mark dialogue in a text?” OR “Do you know how most English writers show when characters are speaking to each other? May I show you?”
You can guide and teach without your child feeling evaluated.
What to do instead
Motivation is tricky. In Alfie Kohn’s book, Punished by Rewards, Kohn goes deep into why rewards are problematic. And yet, he doesn’t offer much in the way of what to do instead. And that’s because it’s rather complicated and there aren’t any easy and quick answers.
In the coming months, we’ll be going into various strategies that you can put into place that will motivate your child! Be sure to subscribe so that you don’t miss any new episodes/posts!
De-Motivated Dennis is a pseudonym for a particular student that I worked with for several years. I wanted to share a bit about Dennis’s story because Dennis’s story is so similar to so many other stories of so many children who were once motivated and now “won’t do anything related to school work!”
When I first met Dennis, parents and teachers complained that he wouldn’t do anything. They had tried rewards and punishments and things would work for a while, but then things would become worse than ever!
First things, first
My first recommendation for any De-Motivated Dennis that you may have in your life is to stop the request that they do school work. In the case of Dennis, a public school student, this wasn’t able to happen until the summer. But during that summer, parents let him do what he wanted.
That took the pressure off of Dennis for a while and allowed him to start to become interested in learning again. Of course, it’s also a risk. When kids take breaks for the summer, they are more likely to show significant regression after the summer break, which can cause things to be even harder for them and cause them to give up and refuse even more.
The Most Important Step
In last week’s episode with Vibha Arora, we dove into some strategies to implement when kids seem to be unmotivated. One of the things that Vibha mentions is figuring out what is going on.
For Dennis, I quickly recognized that his de-motivation was primarily due to feeling “dumb”. Dennis, like all young kids, loved to learn when he was very young. But repeated school failures as the result of a learning disability (dyslexia in his case), led him to label himself as “dumb” and to give up even trying to do well in school. It was easier to be “bad” than to be “dumb” so he just refused to do any work.
Now we’re getting somewhere!
So the next step was to address this feeling of inadequacy directly. I had a frank conversation about how because Dennis’s brain is wired differently than most kids, he had some special gifts and he also struggles more with schoolwork, especially reading and spelling. I let him know that we would try a new program together that was designed to help kids with his type of brain wiring.
We agreed that if Dennis didn’t feel like he could try his best, that we would take a day off. But I also explained that the more Dennis was able to focus, and be consistent in doing the program every day, the more progress he would see himself making and the faster that progress would happen.
A few months later, Dennis could feel how much better he was at reading and spelling. That really helped him get more motivated to keep working hard. Soon he was going up a reading level every few months. 1.0 then 1.5 then 2.0 then 2.5. He made over two years of reading growth in less than one year.
Takeaway
A lack of motivation can be caused by so many different factors. Be sure to read or listen to next week’s episode about “Motivation Killers” to find out the biggest things to avoid when trying to get your kid motivated! (You may be VERY surprised!)
But a lack of success can also be demotivating and helping a child find success can be very motivating!
If you’re interested in some coaching or guided tutoring (I will tutor your child for a short period of time while also teaching you how to keep it going), email me at Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences and we’ll get something set up!
You’re a parent of a struggling learner. You are constantly worried that your child isn’t making enough progress, is struggling too much, and may ultimately wind up homeless in the gutter.
(Maybe your brain doesn’t go that far consciously, but on some level, it probably does!)
Meanwhile, your struggling learner is feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. They assume they must be “dumb” because reading feels so much harder for them that it does for other kids.
In this moment, you find yourself at the kitchen table. Yelling. (again) “You have to complete your reading worksheet!”
Your kid isn’t looking at you. They’re mad. They’re not talking to you and they’re certainly not doing the worksheet!
What’s going on?
According to Vibha Arora, of Woah to Wow parenting- a conscious parenting coach and a positive discipline coach, we need to start with a pause. We need to start by stopping ourselves. Walking away. Taking a breath. Our kid’s mirror neurons will have seen our frustration and are mirroring it. So when we calm down, they will also be able to calm down.
Dealing with the Child’s issues
Our next step is to figure out WHY our child is refusing to do the assignment. Is it too hard? Uninteresting? Are they just too hungry? Or did something totally unrelated upset them earlier in the day?
Vibha tells us that the upset child either has a lagging skill or a missing need. Figuring out what that lagging skill or missing need is will allow us to problem solve with our child.
One strategy that can be intrinsically motivating and can end power struggles is to offer limited choices, which supports autonomy. Limited choices is exactly what it sounds like: choices given that are limited in scope. Do you want to do your homework with a pen or a pencil? Do you want to read at the table or on the couch?
Limited choices takes away the choice about the required activity and place the choice in how that task might be accomplished. Without limited choices, our kids hear, “Do your homework” and almost reflexively respond with, “no” because they haven’t heard a choice. They make a choice for themselves. Yes, I will do as I am told or no I will not.
Placing the task in the context of choice allows your child to still feel powerful and maintain their autonomy. For some children, autonomy is extremely motivating. It also builds self-esteem.
Dealing with Parent Triggers
Going back to the parent and child dynamic. That parent is yelling at their kid because they are being triggered. Vibha Arora’s background as a conscious parenting coach guides her response to the parent’s emotions. That parent’s triggers usually stem from fears. They might be afraid of judgement. They might be afraid that their child won’t be successful. The latter ultimately is the fear of your child ending up homeless in a gutter.
And while yelling won’t get our child to work and won’t make them “successful”, it is an automatic response in the moment.
So what do we do instead?
We start by taking a break. We “practice the pause,” as Vibha says. We remember that it is not an emergency. We step away, we take deep breaths. We do the things that we teach children to do when they are upset.
Vibha also encourages parents to focus on what really matters. She tells parents, “remember who you are tucking in at night.”
That, my friend, is powerful.
Follow Vibha Arora: https://www.facebook.com/vibha.arora72
Contact Vibha Arora: https://www.vibha-arora.com/
Beginners Mindset is a term that I either first heard in yoga or from Hunter Clark Fields, Mama Mindful Mentor (host of an excellent podcast, author of a great book, and founder of an wonderful parenting membership!)
If you’re not familiar with the term, it is about seeing something as if you’ve never seen it before. It’s about doing things as if you’ve never done them before. Looking to see what wonder and knew things you can see and learn.
Today, I’m encouraging you to apply a Beginner’s Mindset to looking at your child.
Ask yourself:
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Who is this child of mine today?
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How do they learn best today?
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What environment is best suited to their learning today?
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What is most interesting to them today?
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What strengths are they demonstrating today?
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What skills are they focusing on today?
Keep in mind that the answers to these questions will often be the same day to day, but they will also change and taking the time to consider them occasionally helps us to better know our children.
As a bonus, I also encourage you to see the world with a beginner’s mindset, looking for wonder everywhere around you. And I encourage you to take a beginner’s mindset to learning. Look for a new skill you can learn, and model a love of learning, as mentioned in a previous episode.
Email me and tell me, who is your child today? Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com
The end of the year is the perfect time to reflect on what went right, what could be better, and so much more! This episode digs into some powerful reflection around your child’s education that you can use for improving their education moving forward.
Watch the video and read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0148
How do you find balance in life? How do you balance accepting your child for who they are and supporting a movement toward academic progress?
Listen to get answers!
Watch the video, read the transcript, and download the pdf notes at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0147
When making purchases for our children, it can be easy to be tempted and hard to stay strong. This episode discusses some ways to avoid purchases that you’ll later regret!
Watch the episode and read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0146
When thinking about education, you may have never considered how gratitude, or thankfulness, can impact an education. Whether you are homeschooling or not, this episode talks about how gratitude impacts the learning of anyone, regardless of disability, and how we can all increase our own gratitude.
Watch the video or read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0145
Everyone can start to feel reluctant at doing something, even something they love. Kids with ADHD typically need things kept fresh, while children with autism thrive on consistency and predictability. Other kids, whether they have dyslexia or any other learning disability, will typically all get into a bit of a learning slump around November. But there are some solid strategies to get out of the slump and re-energize learning!
watch the video and read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0144
Register for the 5 Day challenge at:
www.YourParentHelp.com/challenge
Tracking progress is an important part of education. It lets us know where children are at and what educational strategies are working and which aren’t. It also can reassure us that despite all the fun that they are having homeschooling, they are making huge progress!
Watch video and read transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0143
I’m sure that you are already well-aware on some level that when your child is having a hard time emotionally, they are not able to learn.
This week we have a special interview with Keira Merkovsky. She’s a licensed social worker, and owner of Relationship Cubed. And most importantly, she’s a mother of two, including a child with ADHD.
In this interview, she shares her own personal journey as well as providing a lot of valuable guidance on how we can support the emotional regulation of ourselves and our children.
see video and read transcript here: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0142
ADHD- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can be thought of as a disorder, a disability, something negative OR as something positive! A benefit and an advantage to the person with that brain structure. This episode is a summary/overview of the book by Dale Archer, MD, with some highlights that parents of children with ADHD, or who have ADHD themselves will find empowering.
Watch video, read the transcript at https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0141
This week’s podcast episode is based largely on the book, The Dyslexic Advantage by Brock L Eide, MD, MA; and Fernette F Eide, MD.
This book takes a refreshing view of dyslexia, not as a disorder characterized by deficits but as the result of a brain that has been wired differently, with significant benefits to that wiring! (and with some reading and spelling challenges as a side effect)
Watch the video or read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0140
As someone who meets a lot of children with ADHD and a lot of children with dyslexia, I began to notice that a lot of my “ADHD” students have struggles that mimic those of my students with “dyslexia”, and those with “dyslexia” often seemed to exhibit ADHD characteristics, and sometimes children were diagnosed with both.
I was often told all the reasons that dyslexia might cause inattention and all the reasons why ADHD might cause reading struggles, but it wasn’t enough to explain what I was seeing, so I started digging.
If you are a little bit of a research nerd, you’ll find this episode especially fascinating!
Brain scans reveal a link between ADHD and Dyslexia. Parents of children with dyslexia or with ADHD should understand that there is scientific evidence to watch carefully for the other “disability” if there child has either ADHD or Dyslexia. And, a differently wired brain does not actually need to be seen as a disability.
Also check out episode 17: Dyslexia: What too many people misunderstand
Watch the video or read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0139
“Help them be as autistic as possible.”
About 6 months ago, I had an episode of the podcast talking about the sometimes overlooked strengths of those with autism. I gathered some of my research for that episode from a website by Peter Crosbie called The Autism Advantage.
I then reached out to Peter and asked to interview him for the podcast. We had a long conversation that could have gone on MUCH longer! He shared his personal story, his insight, and his wisdom.
And one of his pieces of advice to parents of children with autism was to help them be more autistic. Watch, or listen as he shares his insight into his (perhaps radical to some) recommendation to accept children, exactly as they are.
After you watch or listen, I would love to hear how that resonated with you!
Warning- I did have to cut out a few minutes of the episode because of some sound issues, but we immediately wound up summarizing what he had just said right after that.
Watch the interview at www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0138
Check out Peter's website: https://autism-advantage.com/about-the-autism-advantage.html
I have often seen people post something like, “I’m learning so much more homeschooling my kids than I EVER did in public school!”
While this is GREAT! It doesn’t actually mean what they think it means.
There is a valuable lesson here, and one that SHOULD NOT be missed!
When we’re educating our kiddos, we need to keep in mind the truth about how all kids learn best.
Watch and read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast0137
There are a million ways to… (not going to finish this the usual way because that just disturbs me!)
I sometimes roll my eyes when I see Facebook posts asking for a particular recommendation without many specifics.
What someone else finds successful is SO often not what you will find successful!
When it comes to teaching a particular skill, it can be taught SO many different ways. For example, I have taught multiplication to probably hundreds of kids at this point and I’ve taught it a lot of different ways. And different ways of teaching it work better for different kids.
In this week’s podcast, we discuss why we need to be open to a variety of strategies for teaching our kids because what worked for us or our friend’s kid might not work for our kid!
Check out the video and transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0136
And then let me know- What were your takeaways?
I have a bit of a pet peeve (or several, if we’re being honest)... I get rather tired of posts on Facebook saying that they will absolutely not use “Common Core” and they want a recommendation on a curriculum that doesn’t use Common Core. As you may recall from my previous episode on Common Core, there’s not much to really be against, if you really dig into it. Check out that episode (episode 5) to learn more about what Common Core is and what it isn’t and why I think it’s a good thing, overall. (Though not perfect, of course!) This week, I’m talking about Common Core again, this time with some examples of what actual Common Core curriculum looks like and why you might not be able to tell it apart from other math curriculums. We’re talking about “Old Math” v. “New Math” and what the problem around math instruction REALLY is!
Watch, Read, or Listen! Join the fun and read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0135
How many times have you had the experience of going from “I would never!” to considering it, or actually doing it? I once thought that I would probably never homeschool! Now I’m a huge advocate of homeschooling (but I also still strongly support public schools). When I first heard about unschooling, though, I thought, “I would never!” and now I find myself constantly considering it. If you’re not familiar with the term “unschooling”, it’s essentially about not having a set curriculum or schedule and all about letting your child learn whatever they want to learn, when and how they want to learn it. Different families do it in different ways, but the kids have the reins on their own education. But I had some doubts and wondered- is it a good fit for kids with disabilities? I came across Talia Tallman who runs the Facebook Group: Unschooling Disabled Learners and I knew I just had to interview her to hear her insights. Watch the video and read the transcript and get in the know at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0134
When a toddler is first learning to stack blocks, what do they always do? One block on top of another, as high as it can go, right? And then it falls over. As they get older, they start to realize that if they build a larger base, they can get a taller and more stable tower. In this week’s podcast episode, I go deep into how to apply this same concept to your child’s education. Sometimes, we get so focused on our child’s progress, we push them further and further along, going as fast as possible to the next milestone, and we leave gaps in their foundation. We need to constantly be checking for gaps and not be afraid to backstep in order to build up that foundation to then move forward once again.
Watch the video, read the transcript, and join the fun at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0133
One of my friends (and a fabulous parent coach) is always talking about the importance of knowing where you’re going. If you ask for directions to “not here”, no one can help you. Your destination needs to be clear. She applies this to parenting, but this week, I’m applying it to education.
When educating our children, we COULD just put one foot in front of another and see where we end up. But if you’re looking for clear progress in your child’s education, you’re going to want to set some goals.
In this week’s podcast, we go through the steps of how to determine what your goals for your child’s education should be, including some to-do’s and some to-don’ts!
Read the transcript at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0132
Growing up, was there something you thought you were too bad at? That you’d never be able to do? I definitely had a “fixed mindset” around art, music, and sports. I was just not good at anything that required coordination. Others seemed to be naturally good. I was not. So I didn’t even bother trying most of the time. In May, we had a series: “Learning Should be Fun!” where I gave ways to make reading (ep. 20), writing (ep. 21), and math (ep. 22) fun! The first tip in all of those was to enjoy it yourself! When kids see us enjoying reading, writing, and math they know that it CAN be fun, even if they don’t yet find it fun themselves. This week, I’m inviting you to model a love of learning yourself. This isn’t just about loving it yourself, but about allowing yourself to make mistakes. When kids see us struggle and persevere, they learn to persevere in their own struggles. If we never mess up, our kids don’t know how to handle their own struggles.
Read the transcript and sign up to get the inside scoop at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0131
What are your child’s learning preferences?
All of my students have had extensive assessments that tell me whether they learn better with auditory or visual input. Some have more details than others and get even more specific about how they supposedly learn best. And yet, it rarely gives me what I most need to know.
Much like what we talked about previously in terms of all the different ways you might spark interest in a new topic, there are many different ways your child may learn the information provided to them.
Now, unlike many others, I’m not going to try to convince you to discover your child’s “learning style”. Usually, by this they mean is your child a kinesthetic, tactile, auditory, or visual learner.
The truth is: your child, like everyone, is a multimodal learner. They need all of these modalities to learn the best. However, they will get more out of different styles of teaching. They might get more out of what they see than what they hear, for example. Knowing this is helpful, but it’s not going to make or break your child’s learning. Further, what your child experiences will always teach more than what they simply hear, see, or read.
What I really want you to discover though, is what types of experiences your child will best learn from.
Do they prefer to learn from: Books, Videos, Dialogue, Field trips, experiments/ hands on discovery, Answering a question?
Pay attention to how your child responds to each of these. Sometimes what sparks the interest is different from what they learn the most from.
Read the transcript and join the fun at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0130
When you consider your own child’s day, what have you noticed?
Some people are naturally “morning people” (me!) and others are naturally “night owls” (my husband!)
Additionally, younger kids tend to do well in the mornings. Teenagers tend to become night owls. But even within those generalities, we have to always be mindful of exactly what is true for our children.
While you probably know instantly whether your child is a night owl or a morning person, or something in between, what about the rest of their day?
The middle school here uses a rotating schedule so that kids get to rotate through which class they are in during their most productive time.
You can analyze how your child does on math tasks at various times of the day. Reading tasks? Writing? Science? History?
What type of learning engages them the most first thing in the morning? Before lunch? After lunch? Are they able to do “schoolwork” in the evenings?
Read the transcript and watch the video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0129
Several years ago, I had a student, “Jake” with ADHD and anger/aggression problems.
We tried various things to help him and all did some good, but the thing I most wanted to change for him, I had zero control over.
Jake would come to school every day with snacks that contained at or near zero nutrition. But plenty of sugar and calories. One day it was an entire sleeve of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. Another day it was a massive bag of “Takis”. Other days he would actually only have money to buy a snack from the cafeteria, but he would spend $5 on $0.25 cookies. Yes, they actually let him buy 20 cookies! And he ate them all at snack time.
In case you were wondering, he was not even slightly overweight. He played hard as soon as he was done with his snack and seemed to have a naturally thin body type. However, I always wondered if some of his behavioral challenges would be alleviated if he had a healthier diet.
In this week’s podcast episode, you’ll hear from Dr. Wendy Schofer- a pediatrician who specializes in coaching families on improving the diets of their families. She’ll share something that surprised me a bit, and yet is completely in line with this entire series.
I would love to hear what diet changes you are considering or what is already working for your family!
Read the Transcript and Get on the list to be in the know at www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0128
Have you ever tried to study with the television on?
Believe it or not: some people study BETTER with something like the television on in the background!
Many do well with music playing in the background. And some of us do best with silence.
A kid will thrive in some environments, and become filled with anxiety and stress in others. All because of the sound, sights, lighting, seating, and even smells!
In this week’s podcast, we’re digging into environmental considerations!
Who selected where your child is expected to do whatever constitutes “schoolwork” in your house? How is that working? I am not judging AT ALL!
So many of us think about what will work best for us, and not what will work best for our children.
But our children are unique and different from us.
Some kids will do really well at the kitchen table with a lot of bustle all around them. Others will need a silent space away from everyone. Some kids will do best sitting upright at a formal desk. Others will do best laying on the floor, papers spread all over (that would actually be me much of the time!). Some will do best indoors, and some outdoors.
Even the scents in the environment can have an impact on how they are learning! Essential Oils diffused in the air can be beneficial for some kids, but different kids will respond differently to different oils.
The amount of lighting and the type of lighting that is provided can have an impact, especially on those with some kind of visual processing disorder or light-sensitivity.
Another big aspect of considering the environment is considering how things are organized. We could spend a whole lot longer talking about all of the intricacies of organizational considerations!
Watch, Read, or Listen to this week’s podcast! Then, stop and take a moment to consider each of these. Which do you need to spend some more time considering and evaluating? Sound Smells Lighting Movement Seating Organization Read the Transcript and join the email list at www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0127
What are your strengths? How many of your kid’s strengths can you name?
This week’s podcast is all about using your kid’s strengths to optimize their education.
Often, when we push a child to do something that they are struggling with, they’ll struggle more.
When we encourage them to do what they’re already good at, we can help them access that with which they are struggling.
Your turn to put this into action!
Take some time to reflect right now: What is your child really good at? (even if you often see it in a negative light; ie: “he talks too much”; “he’s always making a big mess out of Lego”) What is your child always doing? How do they choose to spend their time? Write down all of the strengths that you can think of. Pick one or two and consider: how can I help encourage these to grow? How can I get out of the way of their growth? This is one of those strategies that is beautiful immediately, but can take a long time to pay off. It’s so worth it though! It’s worth the relationship you are building. It’s worth the brain power and self-confidence you are boosting.
Read full transcript and join the awesomeness at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0126
When we are interested in something, we do SO much better on it than when we aren’t.
What interests your child?
This week, don’t just notice and reflect, ask your child.
“What interests you?”
“What makes you curious?”
“What have you been wondering about lately?”
I always start my school year off with asking kids some of these questions. I want to see what topics I should use to drive my instruction.
Following their interests always creates an atmosphere of intrigue and learning. I can’t wait to hear what this has sparked in you!
read the transcripts: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0125
This episode will introduce our new series all about "Optimizing" your child's education, particularly for those who are homeschooled.
See the Transcripts and sign up for the helpful weekly emails and special promotions at: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0124
Listen in to this special interview with Lionheart Mama, Courtenay Kasper.
She shared her story of choosing to homeschool her 4 children. They’ve also done public school. She talks about how she has constantly needed to evaluate what is working and what isn’t for each child.
She’s always individualizing their education and meeting their unique needs.
video of the interview available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0123
Learning should be FUN! But Math can feel so abstract and confusing to so many. These tips will help to make math more fun and natural in your home!
Grab the notes (instant download pdf), watch the video, and read the transcript at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0122
Get the guide: How to Use Chores to Teach Math https://www.yourparenthelp.com/choreguide
Learning should be FUN! But Writing can feel so daunting for many kids. These 8 tips will help to make writing more fun in your household!!
Grab the instant download notes, watch the video, and read the transcript at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0121
Click here for the Episode on Graphic Organizers : https://www.yourparenthelp.com/graphic-organizers
Learning is most effective when it is relaxed, enjoyable, intriguing, interesting! In this episode, you'll learn 5 tips to make Reading fun!
Grab the notes (instant download), watch the video, and read the transcript at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0120
Every child is unique and deserves an education uniquely suited to them. Max was an amazingly gifted child with severe dyslexia. He also had ADHD and frustrations had led to some minor behavior problems. He needed an education unlike anyone else.
video and transcript available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0119
Children with ADHD can be challenging, but they are also full of unique strengths! Listen to this mama and 2E/ADHD expert explain some of these challenges and strengths along with her tips and the myths she's encountered around ADHD.
video of the interview available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0118
There are some common myths around what dyslexia is and how it can best be treated/ remediated/ or worked with. Some believe that dyslexia is about letter reversals (it's not). Some believe that if those with dyslexia just read enough, they'll overcome their reading challenges (not quite...).
video and transcript available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0117
In this interview, we explore the challenges and tips for educating children with dyslexia. We discuss myths around dyslexia and how to help those trying to overcome the dyslexic struggles.
video and transcript are available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0116
find Beth Sullivan at: https://readingwritingtutor.com/
Autism is not merely a disability and it is not the sole, defining characteristic of those with autism. Those with autism (some prefer to be call autistics) are individuals with unique preferences, interests, and personalities. They have some things in common, but more things that make them unique!
video and transcript are available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0115
Autism is not merely a disability. It is not defined solely by a list of deficits and deficiencies, or at least it doesn't have to be! There are many characteristics of autism that can be optimized and viewed as strengths and advantages!
transcript and video available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0114
One person's "weed" is someone else's nutritious food! What some try to weed out is desirous to others. When we "weed" out the undesirable behaviors in our children, we may be weeding out what is actually their strength, if encouraged in the right way. Be careful before you start weeding out that which makes your child their unique self!
Transcript and video version at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0113
Lessons don't need to be long to be powerful! In fact, the shortest lessons can often have the most impact!
Video and transcript available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0112
Knowing yourself and your child is far more important than which curriculum you choose to buy. Stop the curriculum shopping overload!
But a good curriculum CAN be useful... the guide can help make sure it's a good fit for YOU and YOUR CHILD!
get the guide at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/curriculumguide
transcript and video available at: https://www.yourparenthelp.com/podcast_0111
Math curriculum can be helpful but when parents and schools rely on math curriculum for these two skills, kids don't gain the fluency they need!
These two skills are also very helpful in teaching deeper math skills in the future so don't neglect it!
I give some very concrete tips on how to work these two skills into your daily lives.
video available: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0110
March 2nd is Read Across America Day and this episode is all about Reading!
In this week's episode, I share two reading comprehension strategies from my guide: "The Octopus's Guide to Reading Comprehension: 8 Powerful Strategies to Improve Your Child's Reading Comprehension". Grab it here!
Listen to hear more about the strategies:
Act It Out!
YouTuber
Watch the video version here! The transcript is also available to read here. :-). So many options for how to get this info!
In this episode, we address some of the variables that impact the answer to this common question: "What happens with my child's IEP if I homeschool?"
video available: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0108
If you are using a private school situation to homeschool, this guide will help give some information:
https://www2.ed.gov/admins/lead/speced/privateschools/idea.pdf
Learn why I think too much emphasis is placed on curriculum, and the extent to which I think it is important or at least, helpful!
video: www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0107
Get the curriculum check-list: www.YourParentHelp.com/choose-a-curriculum
Bribes/ Rewards/ Punishments/ Sticker Charts are NOT a good way to motivate kids to learn!
Learn why and learn what to use instead!
In this episode, learn some perhaps surprising truths about common core!
(and why it isn't the enemy!)
In this episode, we will briefly cover the various psychological processes that may cause a learning disability if they are weak:
- Phonological
- Auditory
- Visual
- Attention
- Cognitive
- Sensory Motor
We will also discuss:
- Dyslexia
- Dysgraphia
- Dyscalculia
Of course, this topic is way bigger than we can cover here, but we’re going to go over some of the most critical and foundational elements to learning. Includes what makes a child:
- ready to learn
- engaged
- learn the "best": when, where, how!
video version of this episode at http://www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0102
notes download to accompany this video (and make it easier to follow along!): https://www.yourparenthelp.com/notes0102
Some Myths:
1: there is a right way
2: 1 person/entity is responsible
3: Children need a "reason" to learn.
4: You need to know your child's particular learning style.
5: Children will naturally learn everything.
This episode covers:
-
Who I am
-
The goal and purpose of this podcast
-
Some of my core beliefs
-
The topics of this podcast
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
Okay, so I’ve repeated those statistics and I’m going to repeat them again:
We learn (can recall after 2 weeks) about 10% of what we read. 20% of what we hear. 50% of what we hear and see. 70% of what we say. And 90% of what we do!
Acting out what our child has read helps them to process what they have read, to learn it better, to understand it more deeply, and to feel it in their whole body. So much synaptic action happening in this strategy!
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
Almost every child I’ve met over about 7 years old has some dream or desire to be a You-Tube star.
Using our children’s interests helps them to be invested in their own learning. So if your child is like so many others and YouTube is an interest, make them a YouTube channel (or pretend).
They can create a video review of the book they have read, telling the viewer all of the most important bits, except maybe the surprise ending!
Again, we remember about 70% of what we say, so this is really solidifying that book into their memory.
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
We learn (can recall after 2 weeks) about 10% of what we read. 20% of what we hear. 50% of what we hear and see. And 70% of what we say!
Mind-blown?
Having your child teach you (or the dog, or the sibling, or the dolls…) what they are supposed to be learning actually makes them learn it FAR better!
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
Our brains are amazing!
Did you know that 2 year olds have more neural synapses than we do as adults? Check out this diagram showing synapse formation and then pruning:
The reason our brain does this is that it needs to solidify the neural pathways/synapses that get used the most to make us most able to learn and recall information. The more we build and practice those connections, the more we remember and understand something.
This week’s strategy is a quick explanation that explains how to help connect new information your child is reading to content that they already know- helping them to understand it better and remember it!
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
Our brains are amazing!
When we read or learn something of interest to us, we build on last week’s strategy: connection. We already have some information about this topic of interest. PLUS- we care enough to want to learn it.
The more we are interested, the more likely we are to understand and remember what we are reading.
The more we can let our child choose what they want to read, the more they will want to read. This will lead them to understanding more of what they read AND getting better at actually reading.
The more our children understand and the more easily they are able to read, the more confidence they gain in their reading. So much WIN!!!
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
We’ve talked before about visualization. This strategy forces that visualization to happen and to be put into action. Remember last week’s statistics?
We learn (can recall after 2 weeks) about 10% of what we read. 20% of what we hear. 50% of what we hear and see. And 70% of what we say!
Well, we learn 90% of what we do! So anytime we can get our child to DO what they are trying to learn, we KNOW they are learning it so much more!
View original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
Did you know that Michael Phelps uses imagery within his mind before a race?
Oprah Winfrey also visualizes what she wants before going after it (and getting it!).
Our minds are amazingly powerful!
Although the kind of visualization that they are partaking in is a bit different from what we are talking about with reading, the concept of creating an image in your mind is consistent and powerful for winning races, succeeding in business, and understanding what you’re reading!
In this video, I explain that when we read, it is critically important that we create an image or a “movie” in our minds of what we are reading in order to understand it.
Have you ever thought about the need for some kids to be taught visualization? Did you notice that you were doing it?
View the original video at: www.YourParentHelp.com/videos
This episodes dives right in to how to make the most of your homeschooling experience!
(If you aren’t officially homeschooling, maybe you’re still teaching at home some days and this will apply. Or maybe you’ll be able to use these techniques during the summer. Or maybe you’ll decide you want to homeschool after watching this video!)
So many new homeschoolers decide they want to teach their child at home and then go about trying to make home as much like school as possible.
Now, I’m all for a specific work space and a schedule, but homeschooling has advantages over school that are wasted if you don’t notice them and use them!This week’s video goes deeply into some of these advantages:
- Flexible scheduling
- Short learning sessions
- Cyclical review all day every day
- Child’s interests!
- Movement
- Diet
- Exercise
This simple strategy helps to drastically improve reading comprehension.
view original video at www.YourParentHelp.com
Originally a video at YourParentHelp.com
The 5 Components of Reading:
- Phonological Awareness
- Phonics
- Fluency
- Vocabulary
- Reading Comprehension
originally video at YourParentHelp.com
Keys to take away:
- Give plenty of time & space for hands-on manipulation & figuring things out
- Ask questions
- Model finding solutions & figuring things out