Villain Era: Recent Episodes
Justine Benzinger
Welcome to your Villain Era. Where you're done living for others and ready to step out and be yourself. My name is Justine and I'm taking you on the journey of creating an exciting life through relationships, personal development, health, and some laughs. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/villain-era/support
Dating these days can feel absolutely brutal. After my last few experiences of being cheated on, getting ghosted, I felt myself asking- when is it going to be my turn? This week I'm sharing my biggest tips to help not let dating get me down. To keep meeting new people, and to grateful for where I am while also hoping for more.
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Follow me on Instagram @just.fit.justine & @villainerapodcast
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This weeks episode features health coach Maddy Martinez. We talk about her decision to protect herself with a concealed carry gun permit, feeling comfortable carrying a gun, and the safety of women. Maddy is also child-free by choice. We share about her decision to not be a mother and the criticism she recieves online. Finally, we wrap up with advocating for your health and taking care of your body as she shares her journey of being misdiagnosed with an auto-immune disease.
Follow Maddy on Instagram @Maddy.Nourishandlift
Check out Maddy's podcast Kinda Hot Kinda Healthy
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With this weeks episode I'm opening up one of my most vulnerable spaces and sharing snippets of the journal I kept while going through my separation and divorce. Through a 3 month time frame I share the hurt of not feeling love, and how love can somehow turn to hate. Throughout all of it though, I continued to bet on myself and have the strength.
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This week is for my horoscope girlies. Mercury retrograde is a time of closure, reassessing, and preparing for your ex to come back. This week I'm spilling the tea on all the run ins I had with past relationships. How to handle giving someone a second chance, and does that ever actually work?
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Everyone complains about making friends as an adult, so we are breaking down our top tips. This week's guest Chelsea has moved to multiple cities, cultivated amazing friendships, and balanced that through work and dating. Chelsea is one of the creators of Your Traveling Besties, a woman based travel group putting together once in a lifetime adventures all across the world. She also drops her top travel tips, and we discuss how visiting new cultures allows you to grow as a person.
Follow @yourtravelingbesties for updates on their upcoming trips and events.
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My life has been in a weird state of peace, to where I'm thinking... should I do something toxic?! Not really, but I have found this new state of confidence and calm while dating where lessons seem to be clicking. I recently looked back on my past relationship and have thought about where I would want to change things in dating moving forward. Was there anything I overlooked or how can I stay more intentional. Also, what were new to me in this past relationship that has now raised the bar. If we don't look back on our lessons, do we ever really learn anything?
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On this week's episode we chat about the struggles that still occur with interracial dating. From society's judgements, different family cultures, and raising biracial children. Justine and Bre have been friends for 12 years, we dive into different relationship dynamics, both romantic and friendships, and how we can be an advocate in today's social climate.
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This week I have my good friend Kara Goss, Registered Dietician and holistic health coach, on to share her journey of getting off hormonal birth control. From weight gain, to advocating for herself with doctors, and discussing sex drive we dive into how many women are affected when coming off this medication. Kara shares tips to prepare your body, how she repaired her body image, and intimacy tips for finding a relationship that works for your!
Follow Kara on Instagram: @karagoss_rd
Join her free Facebook community: Functional Fat Loss Secrets for Women
Apply to work with me and step into your own Villain Era (click here)
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After seeing some shady photos you don't wanna see as a girl post breakup, I shared my experiences on being cheated on. From emotional to physical cheating, as a woman we've all probably dealt with it at one time or another. I chat about which I feel is worse, what is the line with emotional cheating, do you believe once a cheater always a cheater, and is it worth working through in a relationship?
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Kind of a weird topic for a sex and dating podcast right?! But the point is not to take men out of your life, it's to take them off a pedestal and ask what space are they taking up that could be better served. In this episode I dive into how I'm navigating my recent breakup, changes I notice being single now vs 8 months ago, and how you can decenter men. With building a life you love, romanticizing platonic friendships, and ignoring the male gaze, you need to go into life remembering you're the prize and valuing yourself.
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Everyone knows divorce is hard, but there were alot of things I just wasn't expecting. This week I dive into what people don't always tell you. I dive into how long it takes to file, the monetary aspect, losing a pet, the process of healing, and what I actually thought was the hardest part about divorce.
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We know breakups are hard emotionally, but how often do we discuss how this actually affects our body. We are physically feeling pain as we go through these emotions. Understanding fight or flight, how this can show up in symptoms, and is your breakup affecting your hormones. Spoiler alert most likely!
Ready to OPTIMIZE your hormones? Click here to join the community!
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How often do women think peeing while they sneeze, pain during sex, or being constipated at simply normal? These could all be signs you're dealing with a pelvic floor dysfunction. This weeks episode we talk about how to properly do a kegel, how to manage sex after a baby, and how to have stronger orgasms.
Follow Dr. Kelsy @the.strong.moms.club
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This week's guest is your fairy godmother for all things sex. She helps women dive into their sensuality and improve their intimacy connections. Hannah shares tips on feeling safe in your body after trauma, finding partners in the kink world, and having better sex.
Follow Hannah on Instagram @HannaDeindorfer or TikTok @IAmHannahTheRed
Download her freebies for sex toys and self touch here.
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When guys go through your phone their looking to see if you're texting other dudes. Really, they should be checking the bestie group chat for all the dirt! This week I'm opening up my phone to you. I've share the most ridiculous text messages I've sent to my friends this summer. And let me tell you, they are spicy! Handcuffs, ball gags, and rim jobs included.
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You all asked the questions, I'm bringing the answers. I wasn't even sure where to start with telling my story, and I already know a million things were left out, but it's a start. I chat early warning signs to spot emotional abuse, when the energy shift happened, how things changed after marriage, and the day I left. Trigger warning on sexual abuse.
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This episode I share how my dad and biological father have altered how I show up in relationships. I dive into how I found out I was adopted and meeting my biological father in my 20's. How a complex relationship of needing to earn love lead me down the path to marrying the wrong man. And how you can begin to heal the attachment styles that were caused by your parents.
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The first time I've ghosted, catching men in lies, and getting hit on by your ex-situationships friend. It was a wild weekend to say the least. This week I'm diving into the topic of age while dating. I've gotten a ton of comments on the fact that I keep dating younger, but is dating older really any better? What things matter more than age. And is age an excuse for men to act like shit? Nah...
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For one of the first times this week I said out loud, "I'm lonely." And no, I'm not lonely all the time, but there are those instances. It's the difference of being in solitude vs. feeling lonely. I ended a situationship, ignored my wedding anniversary, and sat with my feelings. The first step when you're feeling this way: bring awareness to when you feel it. For me, Sunday's have been hard. I dive into some of my tips to make Sundays more fun and enjoyable instead of the Sunday Scaries.
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This week I spill the beans on how my sneaky link caught me making out with another date, and how I somehow caught feelings for this sneaky link. Oops. This leads me to question, "what are you really looking for in a relationship?" Are my actions matching the maturity level of a relationship I'd like to call in? Or am I out here playing games and leading people on just like another fuck boy. It just seems my head and my heart can't align on what we want.
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This week I flipped the tables and invited my best friend of the last 10 years to come and interview me! Trigger warning on this episode now: we do discuss abusive relationships and different ways that can show up. We catch up on my weekend adventures, and then dive right into my hot topic: divorce. Did I believe my ex when he told me he loved me? What was Kelsey and his relationship like and how that affected our friendship. And how people closest to you could miss how much you're struggling. I love hearing this perspective of everything I've gone through, and hope this can be eye opening for you as well.
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It's been a month break, butttt it's been a bigger break since I've spilled the dating tea. So we're dropping it today, and catching you up on the last 4 months of dating. Lets chat about are you anxiously attached OR is the person just giving you shitty communication and being inconsistent? Is getting under someone new the best way to get over someone? And why do guys seemingly just want to disrupt my hot girl summer for nothing. We break it all down in this solo episode, if this is May, I can't wait to see what the next three months bring.
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Warning on this episode now: we get into it! Dropping my top tips to start having better sex, from someone who had ZERO sex drive a year ago, to having some of the best sex of my life recently. Communication, toys, and feeling confident come together to help enjoy yourself in the bedroom. I share some new ways to spice things up, and things I've tried that I also didn't like. If you wanna have a great O this weekend, make sure to tune into this episode.
BDSM Quiz
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer
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The libra full moon is getting to me! Relationship shifts are happening, and I'm waiting to see it all play out. Lately I've had this thought though, am I bitch for not considering my divorce a heartbreak? Of course not, but I dive into what truly was heartbreaking. The lack of respect I had for myself. Why do we always choose to treat others better than we treat our self? I dive into the intricacies of these emotions, and how you can rebuild your own self trust.
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I've moved my life across the country 3 times already in the past year so I know a little something about this topic. How to move to a new city and also make the most of it. Enjoy this new venture of life. Oh- and all about my anxiety and inability to live in the moment this week that's stressing me out. Cool.
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After 7 years of not dating, getting back in the game has brought some shocking moments. This week I dive into the major differences I've seen dating after divorce. Of course sprinkled in with plenty of bad date stories as well. We explore overall why dating in your 30's has been much better, and even when it's not then it's for the plot.
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Lately I've seen a huge divide on the internet. Women fighting over living a childfree life by choice vs. mom's who find raising kids as their main reason for existence. Truthfully, I haven't seen many discussions that fit in the middle. Of women who just aren't sure if they want kids? But also unsure if they will miss making a family? Today's podcast is a discussion on this topic and how the idea of children fit into a single in your 30's kinda life.
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Get my top tips on not just getting through a breakup, but how to come out even better than before.
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Being chill and relaxed is out. Being hot and psychotic is in. This week I break down how acting like "everything is fine" makes everything absolutely not fine. I'm over the brand of feminism where we act like men who don't show emotions. Instead we are embracing our emotions, letting our freak flag fly, and being exactly ourself. I break down 5 rules to kill your inner chill girl and start living a more authentic life.
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--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/villain-era/support
I went through years where I suffered from little to no libido. I didn't want touched, I didn't want to be naked, and I definitely didn't want to have sex. It was so bad it lead me to getting my hormones tested. But were my hormones the issue or was I just not having good sex? Come with me on a journey to exploring my sexuality, realizing what's important to me in a relationship, and feeling empowered as a woman again.
Apply to work with me 1:1 and enter your Villain Ere (click here).
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I'm so excited to bring my guest on from TikTok's very own Dating with Owen. Owen hit it big by simply sharing advice to be a good, genuine person while dating. We hit on toxic dating advice that is on the internet such as "high value men/women," keeping a roster, and the ultimate question, do they always come back? If you're sick of feeling like dating is a game, this episode is for you.
If you'd like to join the Galentine's Day Zoom Happy Hour, click this link to register: Monday, February 13th @ 7pm est.
Make sure to follow Owen on Instagram and TikTok @DatingWithOwen
If you enjoyed this episode please screenshot and tag the podcast on Instagram @VillainEraPodcast
It would only be normal for my life that everything I told you last week has simply flipped upside down this week. Surprise, surprise on the weekly life recap. And then we dive into a fun world of hallucinogenic drugs. Last summer I had an experience trying DMT which was dark to say the least. And then my ex claimed it caused me a psychotic break. Listen to the episode and you can decide for yourself.
Make sure to follow on Instagram @VillainEraPodcast
This probably should have been episode 2, but ya know, we're getting there. This week is starting out with another life update, good things coming this year! What being in your Villain Era means to me, and also what it does NOT mean. Wrapping it up with tips on how you can enter your own Villain Era, and be your most savage self this year.
If you enjoy the episode please screenshot and tag us on Instagram @VillainEraPodcast
Trigger Warning: Sexual harassment. For the past few years I have told this story via Instagram, so it only felt fitting to bring it to the podcast. It's not stories I need pity or condolences from, I have worked through these. But every time I share, I'm sadly blown away by the amount of women who can relate. Today all across the country women are marching for our rights. I hope to be a voice and a strong representation that we can stand together.
If you enjoyed this episode, please screenshot and share on Instagram @VillainEraPodcast
Well, this episode dives right into me being afraid to let someone hurt me. How we can see our own attachment styles popping up, and at the same time working through them. Believing that every person has the ability to live an incredible, fulfilling life. Lacy shares how we can begin to change the world through honest and open communication. Using somatic therapy to dig into our triggers where we can actually begin to offload them. And how using plant medicine and micro-dosing as a mom has opened her mind up to new possibilities.
If you enjoyed the episode please make sure to tag us on instagram @villainerapodcast
You can follow Lacy on instagram @iamlacyunleashed on Instagram
If you're interested in looking for somatic therapists check out Somatic Experiencing International.
This week I'm getting on my soapbox to complain about men. Being single and dating again has been an adventure, then throw in the fact that I am anti-birth control, men look at me like I'm medusa. This week I dive into the negative side effects of birth control, how you can avoid pregnancy without added hormones, and of course a cringy dating story.
If you're interested in learning more about your cycle I recommend these books:
Beyond the Pill by Dr. Jolene Brighten
This Is Your Brain On Birth Control by Sarah E. Hill
In the Flo by Alisa Vitti
If you're interested in trying out the Oura Ring or Natural Cycles:
$50 off your Oura ring
20% off your Natural Cycles subscription
Instagram: @VillainEraPodcast
Ever wonder how to rebuild your finances from a major life event? Maddie shares her story of getting divorced, moving across the country, finding a new job, and beginning to rebuild her own wealth. For most of history marriage was a tool to pass women off from father to husband while we had little financial rights. And even in today's world women are usually told to focus around budgeting and spending less, while men are taught about investing and building more wealth. We discuss finances can affect relationships, the stigma around prenups, and why it's bullshit to call women gold diggers.
@RichBitchFinance
@VillainEraPodcast
Wrapping up this crazy year with the top 10 things 2022 taught me. Business advice, dating advice, overall life advice- we're covering it all. This has been one of my most transformative years with both highs and lows, so I'm going to make sure to learn from it.
Instagram: @villainerapodcast
Book Reference: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
When I think about the worst dates of my life, there are a top 3 that come up easily! The Chicago racist, a soft-catfish, and Austin awkward dude. I tell the rough stories of dating in this troubling world... Then spread some holiday cheer by filling you in on some really great dates I've been on lately! Wrapping up the episode I drop some tips for making online dating work better for you (even though probably everyone wont' agree on these tips).
Instagram @villainerapodcast
One of the hardest episodes for me to record, I broke down why I got married even though I had my doubts. Bring on the judgement, but I can imagine many other woman have worked through this same thoughts. I share having to tell a date about this mistake. Understanding the cycle of emotional abuse in relationships. What was running through my head in the months leading up to the wedding. How I think differently about love now. And a giant apology to anyone who traveled to my wedding.
Instagram: @VillainEraPodcast
Chyanne is a cult survivor leaving the Mormon church. The organization forced her to feel small as a woman outlining a specific life she was meant to live and path to follow. The day before her wedding she realized this had all been a lie, and chose to take her own path. She broke through those beliefs that she can live any life she wants and deserves to feel worthy. We discuss how to cultivate your confidence, and choose to live a life that is truly for you. She shares how she transitions from saving herself for marriage to finding sexual expression, and breaking down the orgasim gap. How the world is becoming more open to kinks, and the evolution of porn for women.
Chyanne's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chy_chy_chy/
Villain Era Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/villainerapodcast/
We've all been there, a time where you felt lost in your life. I'm digging into when I felt most lost, how to find your path again, and tips that are leading me to find myself again.
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/villainerapodcast/
This weeks episode brings my first guest Alicia Ciak, an entrepreneur, fitness coach, and OF extraordinaire.
We talk creating a business and finding yourself in your 20's when so many women seem to struggle, embracing your sexuality and feminine energy, dating (do you go younger or older men?), and of course daddies.
Alicia gets asked to venmo a past date, and I share about guys not even wanting to pay for dinner.
Follow Alicia on instagram at @alicia.ciak_fit
Follow the podcast at @villainerapodcast.
Welcome to The Villain Era podcast! This episode dives into what you can expect to hear on the podcast, my goals and vision on what to bring you, and a little behind the scenes of my life currently.
TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@villainerapodcast
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/villainerapodcast/