Comedy, Improvisation, and strange, but cool interviews, are all bundled into one weekly podcast. Steve and Jeff have been friends for more than 50 years, funny since 2022. A couple of guys, whose friendship has survived multiple career and life changes, the Covid, Bird and Swine flu, f….. liberals, and f…… Conservatives, and above all, growing old. Can it survive this weekly podcast? Listen and find out.
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Tonight our hosts take a deep dive into the life and history of our first lady by interviewing Susan Schwartz, who claims to be Melania's adoptive mother. Is she really her mother? Is Melania actually Marsha Schwartz from Long Island, NY? Tune in and find out!
Susan Schwartz - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Disappointed by the 250th celebration? So was everyone else, including the king. He ordered a Mulligan, celebrating our 251st, This will be nothing like the 250th. This will be huge. Well, comparatively huge. Our hosts explore some of the fabulous upgrades the 251st will have.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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When Tom Homan said people should shut their mouths, The Steve and Jeff Show Band created this song.
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Our hosts take a more somber tone tonight as they reflect on the passing of Senator Lindsey Graham and the possible passing of Senator Mitch McConnell. Seeking to provide a reassuring and unifying voice in the wake of a celebrity death, they recall some of the fine tributes given to Graham--and some tributes for others as well. It's the wildest In Memoriam segment you've ever heard!
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Don't we all want something lasting in our lives? Brought to you by International Poisons, an Appropriation Station brand.
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We all use recipes, templates, short cuts, formulae...Well, our hosts stumbled across a set that is, shall we say, fit for a king. Cake costs extra.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Build your fortune like our king did! Order the new Grift-O-Matic by Donco!
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Watch the money flow...away from you. Here's the latest from The Steve and Jeff Show Band!
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Our hosts finally hit the big time! They host Barbara Bell, the author, director, and star of Broadway's biggest hit of 2026 "Corruption: The Musical!" Barbara shares some insights into how this play about the "administration" came about, and of course we hear excerpts from some of the hit songs such as "Bye Bye, Bondi," "Dear Old Heritage," "Number Two," and of course the finale "Come Work for Us." The perfect merger of Cartesian duality, authoritarian revolt, and snappy show tunes. A real treat!
Barbara Bell - Astrid Munn
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Cast of Corruption: The Musical:
KKKaroline Leavitt - Barbara Bell
Russell Vought - Frank Franco
Kash Patel - (actor name redacted)
Markwayne Mullin - John Wayne Bundy
Stephen Miller - Joey Gobels
JD Vance - Danny Duplicato
John Roberts - Roger Taney
Amy Comey-Barrett - Lizzie Holmes
Music by the cast of Corruption: The Musical and The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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What if, to promote church attendance, they ran ads for church like those great racetrack radio commercials of yesteryear?
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Ah, a brief return to the past, when Johnny announced the show and love could be found in the oddest places.
They say true love conquers all, and just to prove it may be true occasionally, our hosts invite newlyweds Larry and Maria Milder to discuss their military deployments to American cities. See, Larry is with ICE and Maria is with the National Guard. One day a chance deportation put these two lovebirds together, and they share that love on this episode. I mean, not literally. Jeff considers a new cockfighting side gig. Steve decides to call his cousin Marci for some extra cash. Miss Clare mysteriously vanished with all of our hosts' passports and IDs. Johnny wonders how he would look in a mask.
Maria - Kate Wiig
Larry - Chris Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Curtis Peter
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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As accustomed as our hosts are with time travel, they have now met a dimension traveler, someone who lives in another reality similar to ours. But not. They learn how little decisions can lead to vastly different outcomes.
Sarah Longwell, Dimension Traveler - Astrid Munn
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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On the cusp of our 250th anniversary, our hosts discuss the plans for the MAGA Washington DC celebration. You won't want to miss this detailed coverage--know before you go!
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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As unlikely as it seems, one day your king may in fact leave the White House. What then? What would the most fit and energetic president ever do after that? Our hosts discuss the limitless possibilities.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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It does nothing, and sometimes nothing is exactly what you need. Another fine product of Pharma Brute.
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Ever the intrepid journalists, our hosts discover a deal to end the Iran War! They discuss how wonderful each provision is. Then they get a surprise they weren't expecting, unlike other surprises that people expect.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Moe Saddegh
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Hear the latest in the Vatican vs MAGA debate, from The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Steve invited that Middle East "negotiator" and Jeff invited that former Subway guy. See who they got!
Jared - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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This holiday weekend we flash back to a program from December 2024, and we realize that all those people who said we were overreacting just weren't paying attention. Our hosts hit it on the nose. After all, Steve is from the future!
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Brandon Karr
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Ever the intrepid journalists, our hosts finally found the founder of Antifa, when others said it couldn't be done, and brought him to Eccentric Ladyland Studios. His face is covered for the fully audio interview to protect his identity. The show deals with so many heated topics of the day, such as how the founder's company used to dominate the tennis industry but now it's all pickleball. And don't ask him about his deceased aunt unless you have a box of tissues handy. Despite Antifa being officially opposed by the "administration," our brave hosts persisted. By the way, if Antifa means anti-fascist, and if the "administration" is anti-anti-fascist, that makes them...what...?
Abbie Hoffman, Antifa Founder - Chris Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"Hotel Antifa" written and performed by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Our hosts respond to listener emails, featuring not only the answers we need for today's hot issues (like turkey brining) but also new show music from The Steve and Jeff Show Band.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
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Rising prices have you stressed? Listen to the latest from The Steve and Jeff Show Band.
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With the world struggling through so many problems these days, Steve was encouraged when he found tonight's guest Cliff at a bar trivia night contest. Brilliantly winning the competition, Cliff goes on to solve every major crisis we face with loud, confident answers that seem like they make sense at first.
Also, Brendan Carr, head of the F.U.C.C. (sic), dropped into Eccentric Ladyland Studios to do a spot check on their broadcast licenses.
Don't miss the two new songs from The Steve and Jeff Show Band: a tribute to our FBI director called "Tipsy," and a rousing WWII style war song dedicated to the Secretary of Warfighting and Alpha Male Posing called "Praise the King and Pass the Captain Morgan."
Cliff - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
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The latest from The Steve and Jeff Show Band. A king's lament that nobody will join him on an expedition.
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Our hosts bring Dave from Big D Travel to talk about some of the hot spots for bargain travel that today's current war footing creates. Listen for travel ideas!
Dave from Big D - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
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What fun! An encore presentation! Back to the old days! Johnny is here and all! And it's still pretty much tax time, or at least the memory still lingers. It's that time of year again...time for Jeff's dad's parole hearing (real and faux dads), but it's also tax time! Our hosts decide to get their taxes done early and not only to do their taxes but also give to their audience, so they bring in their tax guy Harry Brock and do their taxes live on the show! The tax tips alone are worth the listen! Their usual guy, Harry's brother Ross, is in prison but Harry shows that he's the brains of the pair by providing ways that your tax refund can be much higher than your total gross income. Oh, and your secret information's no secret anymore! Jeff considers moving to Ohio and changing his diet. Steve automates the track starter pistol he found. Miss Clare is unlikely to file taxes but our hosts don't pay her anyway. Johnny gets some completely undeserved rest.
Harry Brock - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Elwood P. Dowd
Ross Brock - Shel Shiver
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The Steve and Jeff Show presents "Bye Bye, Bondi" written by The Steve and Jeff Show Band and performed by Barbara Bell and the cast of "Corruption" The Musical,' now playing on Broadway.
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Our hosts discover a cool new way to make money, and they discuss the income opportunities available for just attending events. Also don't miss the latest from The Steve and Jeff Show Band...Bye Bye, Bondi, and Kristi's Lament.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"Bye Bye, Bondi" written by The Steve and Jeff Show Band and performed by Barbara Bell and the cast of "Corruption" The Musical,' now playing on Broadway.
"Kristi's Lament" written by The Steve and Jeff Show Band and performed by Dionne Franklin.
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Tonight the show focuses on The Steve and Jeff Show Band's upcoming concept album, "Arial: Font of Knowledge." It will soon be available at all Tower Records stores, assuming you can find one. Our hosts took the night off and foisted hosting duties onto Lester Kurtis, last heard narrating the episode about Keith Richards many weeks ago. The band's album shows a wide range of musical styles and, in the tradition of all concept albums, tells a story that virtually no one will understand. The backstory of the album is just as opaque. Also, don't miss the commercial for the recently fired "attorney general." She may need the money.
Narrator - Lester Kurtis
Steve and Jeff Show Band - Themselves
Cousin Kevin - Watt Tyler (scenes deleted to avoid explicit label)
All songs written and performed by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Hear the latest from The Steve and Jeff Show Band!
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Our hosts welcome General Henry "Hank" Kimball, a Pentagon spokesman who is on the talk show circuit to promote the war in Iran. Or maybe the excursion in Iran. In any event, he's in the studio with our hosts and presents as clear and concise an explanation for the attack as you have ever heard.
General Henry "Hank" Kimball - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Intro and Outro music - The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Meet the band! Well, sort of meet the band. They had an unfortunate delay at Joliet Correctional Facility and should be back on tour any day now. But our hosts brought Jeff's brother Ian in to thank him for hiring the band for the show and to learn a little more about them. The operative word is little, but our hosts enjoyed listening to samples of the band's long and genre-hopping career. Everything from juvenile rebellion to horny grunge to lunchmeat jingles and then back to rebellion. Who knows where the band will go next? Rumor has it they are about to release a concept album they have worked on since 1979.
Ian - Nick Tesla
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Steve and Jeff Show Band - Themselves
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The Steve and Jeff Show Band with a song about current events.
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So much has happened, podcast fans! First, Johnny is lost in the edible world, but just in time, Jeff's brother started managing musical acts and sent our hosts their own in house Steve and Jeff Show Band! They show their stuff in this episode. But I digress. The main point of the show is that our hosts interview their soon-to-be marketing chief, the ecumenical Lex Lutheran. Lex has a distinguished marketing career working for our king, and our hosts figured if she can sell that "administration" she can sell anything. They trade some ideas about how to get the word out and it looks like AI Steve and Jeff may reappear.
Lex Lutheran - Astrid Munn
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Music by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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Reality-challenged as ever, our hosts find a review that, to them, is a rave review from their greatest fan. You be the judge. It won't be hard. Jeff becomes aroused while watching traffic on the Edens. Steve celebrated the review by treating his mom and Johnny to a Rob Schneider film festival. Speaking of Johnny, he was last seen asking the address of Edibles Schmedibles.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Dimitri Leary
"Film Flam Outro" by The Steve and Jeff Show Band
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As unavoidable as our own personal niyati, our hosts tackled the thorny yet fascinating issues of drugs and sex with their guest, Eddie Getgo, author of the limited best seller "Just Say No to Everything." He was basically talking about drugs and sex, not saying no to things like breathing or milk with brownies. Speaking of brownies, Jeff brought in a buffet of edibles for the staff and turns out Eddie helped himself to more than a couple. Once thoroughly buffeted, he developed a strong attraction to Miss Clare. She must have felt something too, since she actually chambered a round (which she hardly ever does). Actually, everyone enjoyed the buffet, and relaxed discussion ensued. Jeff gave a five-star review to Edibles Schmedibles. Steve is climbing the Knuckle Ridge Mountains in his mind. Miss Clare bought more ammo. Johnny drove right past the liquor store on the way home.
Eddie Getgo - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Ed Rosenthal
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With the untimely closing of the Kennedy Center, our hosts lucked upon an awards show for political cowardice that needed a venue. Never missing an opportunity, our hosts present the Lindsey Graham Profiles in Courage/Cowardice Awards for 2025. What a stunning array of nominees and honorable (sic) mentions. Award season has never been livelier. Steve returned the rented tuxedo he had just in case there were photos. Jeff summoned up the courage/cowardice to ask Kristy Noem for a date. Johnny briefly considers drinking less.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Frank Schettino
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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As attentive to detail as usual, our hosts neglected to plan anything for Valentine's Day. But luckily our intrepid podcast hosts always have ideas--and they did not disappoint! They create holiday buffer zones, if you will, and why not apply them to birthdays and anniversaries? And why not solve world problems with them as well? Happy perpetual Saturday, and welcome to the Claudidian Race! Steve scheduled the show to post one minute later than usual, just to feel unconstrained. Jeff, always feeling unconstrained, nailed toothpicks into his new car's cup holder. Johnny asked for remote broadcasting gear, as if he will be out of the studio for a while.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Alvin Kelly
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Ever the intrepid journalists, our hosts secured an exclusive interview with Nicolas Maduro, formerly of Venezuela, now residing in New York. While prepping to interview him, our hosts engage in an extended, informative, yet pointless discussion of various odd and extreme things they have run across while searching for something else. From the Carnegie Library to the Holy Roman Empire, you won't want to miss a single gem! Jeff is trying to invent a frictionless ruler. Steve thinks it's quite the coincidence that so many places have a body of water called Salt Creek. Johnny got a box of Venezuelan cigars.
Nicolas Maduro - Jack Griffin
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Norman G. Baker
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Inspired to invent things that have never existed before, Steve finds a highly successful inventor who has agreed (for a fee) to be his mentor (for a year, under the terms of the program). His name believe it or not is Rodney Dangerfield, and you're probably using some of his inventions already. Just wait until you find out what he has coming soon! Steve writes down Uncle Sal's sayings in hopes of creating a new book. Jeff stayed in the studio to fully examine Rodney's last invention. Johnny is holding his breath.
Rodney Dangerfield - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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This week we go back to a show first aired last June, which seems timely once again. With so many public figures having public feuds these days, it was only a matter of time until our hosts had their own feud. Who knew it would be live in the studio in the middle of a show that was supposed to be about dream interpretation? Jeff may have fired the first shot, but a lot of people say Steve did and they don't care what the tape says, they're going with it. Miss Clare hoped to take on the winner. Johnny compared a Sea Breeze and a Cape Codder and decided that he likes vodka. Any resemblance between this feud and any actual public feud is purely coincidental.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - M. Hatfield McCoy
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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When Jeff describes his recent bout of the flu, Steve wonders if it might be Jeff's horrible diet. After all, in the words of that great nutritionist Rodney Dangerfield, you are what you eat. Steve describes how his mom got him started on healthy eating and shares his mom's favorite recipes in hopes of improving Jeff's eating habits. Vodka sales should increase.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Bobby Beatflay
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Our hosts talk with a relative of Crash Davis and Smash Davis (former show guests) who is also on a quest for a Guinness Book of World Records record. Shipwreck Davis is focusing his record quest on Venezuelan fishing boats and has quite a good start thanks to the various boat attacks in recent times. Jeff plans a trip to Boca. Steve gave up song lyrics and quotes Eugene O'Neill. Johnny contemplates money without work, which is something he is skilled at.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Lex Fori
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Steve thought it would be good to do a shorter show than usual this week and have a shorter opening joke. Unfortunately, Jeff thought Steve said to do a show filled with short jokes. In a desperate attempt to keep the show going, achievements in bad taste ensued. Several little people have asked for equal time. Jeff said he still believes in elves. Steve wants to hit the bars with Johnny. Miss Clare keeps sniffing her hair. Noam Chomsky may write an essay about this episode.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Andy Dysgeusia
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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It's that time of the rolling year again, time for our hosts to admit they are terrible at making New Year's resolutions and even worse at keeping them. So of course, they rely on the millions of listeners to submit their resolutions. They do not disappoint. With all these resolutions, it should be a bang-up year, especially in Pennsylvania. Jeff considers changing his name to Mike Hunt. Steve resets his watch. Johnny refilled his lighter. Happy new year to all!
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - "Crazy" Arthur Brown
"Auld Lang Syne" written by Robert Burns and performed by Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians
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Our hosts solve one of the greatest holiday problems--how to shop for families that share more than one faith. Well, at least the Christmas/ Hanukkah problem. One of their listeners actually solves it for them, but the listener doesn't have a podcast so Steve and Jeff get the credit. Steve is planning a record featuring his "ch" diction skills. Jeff found out the Gaza poster was a big hit. Miss Clare is dining on corned beef schnitzel. Johnny is off this week so is probably knocking back Popov with Steve's mom.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Griffin
Mordechai O'Leary - Robert Downey, Jr (scenes deleted)
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Stumped with what to get people this Holiday Season, our hosts are aided by our king's answer to those "woke" Black Friday sales and they dive into the White House White Friday Sale product list. So many wonderful yet high priced bargains! Steve does song lyrics and actual singing, and neither is memorable. Jeff tries to clear his computer cache but some of those popups linger. Johnny quietly sings "Have Yourself a Gerrymandered Christmas" to himself.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Charles Dingus
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Faced with economic stress, our hosts shamelessly pander for advertising dollars by showing off how good their ads have been in the past. Maybe this will attract new ads. Maybe they can charge old advertisers again for running their ads. Either way, money is money. They shake down...I mean feature...Appropriation Station, Whose Sari Now, Pho King, Seoul's on Fire Kimchee, and so many more highlights of their advertising successes. They even have a new ad about our king that you won't want to miss.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Farley Loess
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Steve tries out an AI-generated joke that falls as flat as wienerschnitzel under a car tire. This leads to a discussion of whether AI can be as funny, or dare I say funnier, than real people. With those AI versions of Steve and Jeff floating around, our hosts challenge their AI selves to a battle of the jokes, judged by our own Johnny who is probably not AI. The competition is fierce, and the jokes fly so fast you would think the Borsht Belt is gearing up for a comeback. Who will win? If I tell you, you won't listen. Maybe you won't listen anyway. Maybe you're not even reading this in which case it doesn't matter what I write. Maybe I'll do a virtual rant...No, too on the nose with current reality. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
AI Steve - AI Steve
AI Jeff - AI Jeff
Johnny - Casimir Pulaski
AI Johnny - Johnny (scenes deleted)
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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Our hosts bring Steve's mother and his new half-sister, Little Stevie, into Eccentric Ladyland Studios for a traditional family Thanksgiving dinner and podcast. Miss Clare provided the food and then left rather quickly. Steve's mom shows none of her 90+ years as she smokes, drinks, and sasses with the best. Jeff is shopping for Christmas at Stateville, and Joliet will never be the same. Steve is sure the opening joke will end soon. Johnny contemplates a future in child care. Little Stevie may overcome her Tourette's and have a great career as a motivational speaker.
Steve's Mom - Nicky Sitler
Little Stevie - Veronica Lodge Andrews
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Will'm the F'in Conqueror
"Chase" from "Midnight Experss" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Back from their deportation, our hosts are again in Eccentric Ladyland Studios and welcome Adolph Inkster, who Steve met at a psychic's convention. Mr. Inkster is the creator of AI as well as the creator of the Great Replacement Theory, and he explains how they are connected in ways we never wanted to know. The future looks bright for Mr. Inkster assuming he is not himself AI. Steve's stomach turns so badly he may not eat for a couple days. Jeff considers changing his last name. Johnny wound up getting the hiccups for several hours.
Adolph Inkster - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Roman Salute
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Still deported to Cozumel, our hosts take a test that, if passed, will get them back into the US. The problem is our hosts are very bad testees...wait...so to get ready they prepared with practice tests and decided to take the test live on the podcast. Thrill to their efforts to peer into the dark recesses and open sewer lines of the minds who create situations like this, and tests like this. Steve spent the rest of the day working out on the boxing speed bag. Jeff made a series of weekly appointments with Dr. Brian. Johnny wishes he had his ICE mask back.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Punchinello
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Sure, Halloween is over. But don't you want to get a jump on what the trends will be for next year? We hope so, because the studio never got our hosts' tape this week from their deportation camp. So here is an encore presentation of the best in Halloween wear.
Steve and Jeff welcome back the delightful fashion influencer Chrysanthemum for a look at what is hot in Halloween costumes for this year. She lets us all know that the prevailing theme for this year is "slutty," and all other themes revolve aroud it. Chrysanthemum's grandmother makes a surprise visit and brings valuable knowledge that only a few will understand. Steve spent the show looking at photos of a 1965 Chevy Impala. Right after the show Jeff booked two appointments a week for the next year with his dentist. Johnny is oddly happy watching them drill finger holes in a bowling ball. Miss Clare is practicing her nun chucks.
Chrysanthemum/ Grandma - Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborn.com) (Insta, TikTok and YouTube as @nataliemosborne)
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Dr. Richard Slutsky
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Still at their deportation site (the Cozumel Hilton Resort and Deportation Center), our hosts talk about the rapid-fire revenge tour indictments coming out of the White House faster than Epstein denials. Steve's Uncle Sal's Rogers Park sports book hasn't been this active since the 2003 playoffs, and don't ever ask him about that one. Our hosts discuss the newest indictments and the substantial non-evidence behind them. Steve resorts to song lyrics again. Jeff wishes Taco Tuesday could last all week. Johnny takes pepper spray target practice.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Isbrand Tushar
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Our hosts kick off season 4 from their new and hopefully temporary location, a deportation camp in Mexico. For once they found the silver lining though, because through a clerical error they wound up being deported to the Hilton Cozumel resort. I could tell you what the clerical error was, but you really should listen to the show and find out, and you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to find out without listening. Our hosts have made many friends among fellow deportees and recount the stories they've heard over a Don Julio Reposado or two. Jeff is still at his massage appointment. Steve may never go swimming again. Johnny is still with ICE and is waiting outside a Chicago church for Mass to end so he can arrest a few grandmothers who he swears are with MS-13, or have MS, or something, or maybe nothing at all.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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As season 3 winds down, and before season 4 starts next week, our hosts are informed that they must prove themselves to be REAL Americans in order to stay on the air, in the country, and on the planet. Conveniently, Johnny signed up with ICE, so he was deputized to administer the questions to see just how real our hosts are. We don't know the results yet, but I hear they both signed up for lessons in Spanish and Arabic, just in case. Play along at home and see whether you, too, may want to consider your options. Steve looks at cheerleader photos. Jeff wonders if he could host his own quiz show. Johnny looks for a spot he's allowed to eat lunch. Miss Clare was nowhere to be seen, but she did get a message from Kristi Noem.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Franz Rolfe
"Lollipops and Roses" written by Tony Velona and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass
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They say true love conquers all, and just to prove it may be true occasionally, our hosts invite newlyweds Larry and Maria Milder to discuss their military deployments to American cities. See, Larry is with ICE and Maria is with the National Guard. One day a chance deportation put these two lovebirds together, and they share that love on this episode. I mean, not literally. Jeff considers a new cockfighting side gig. Steve decides to call his cousin Marci for some extra cash. Miss Clare mysteriously vanished with all of our hosts' passports and IDs. Johnny wonders how he would look in a mask.
Maria - Kate Wiig
Larry - Chris Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Curtis Peter
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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With our king's stunning return engagement in the UK, our hosts decided it was time to revisit an earlier show discussing his earlier visit. Jeff's wife Kathy loves podcasts--not this podcast, no, podcasts about the British Royal Family gossip. Steve and Jeff thought that since we now have our own king, it was time to invite onto the show someone who hosts a podcast about American Royal Family gossip. Ms. Stacy Blank, host of the hot podcast "A Royal Scam," (not the Steely Dan album) told us all kinds of goodies about our new king's family. Let's just say golf is in for some surprises. Steve hosts a meeting on Signal about shoe sizes and invited all kinds of people. Jeff is being fitted for a crown, and no dentist is involved. Miss Clare is selling a royal line of kneepads--DC just can't get enough of them. Johnny is talking to Steve's mom's neighbor over the back fence.
Stacy Blank - Tracie Mauk
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Tommy Paine
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Not only were our hosts simulated on an interview show they don't remember doing, but they learned that their show had been scammed by season after season of fake guests. Oh, they were real guests, they just weren't really who...well, if you listen to the episode you'll get it. Their cynicism melted just enough to bring on the host of the podcast they were (allegedly) interviewed on. The show is called I Have to Ask with Elizabeth Hess, or something like that, and Ms. Hess helped our hosts learn how to interview real people, should there be any. Steve's thinking of buying an electric car. Jeff is studying for his IQ test retake. Miss Clare is angry that nobody cut her in on the scams. Johnny developed a sudden interest in estate planning and robotic intelligence.
Elizabeth Hess - Elizabeth Hess
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Hal Data
Jimmy Kimmel - (Scenes deleted)
Sanford and Son Theme Song ("The Streetbeater") written and performed by Quincy Jones
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The White House realized that DEI was actually important for American culture, so they decided to bring it back--but in a slightly different way. They announced their plans in one of several hundred executive orders that came out last week, but thankfully our hosts pulled it from the pile and can help people understand the changes. The new style is probably what you might expect. Anyone not already offended will be offended very quickly. Steve went over to that Italian mom's house for dinner. Jeff looked up whether he was owed any reparations from Harvard and other universities. Johnny is puzzling out whether an astronaut could go to the sun...at night, of course!
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Ignacz Williams
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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A listener emailed our hosts with an interview purporting to be them. As usual, our hosts do not remember a thing about granting an interview or anything about the interviewer, Elizabeth Hess. They listen to the interview and still aren't sure. AI is so advanced these days. Just ask any martini drinker. Jeff spent long hours in front of a mirror looking for the AI visual blur. Steve pinched himself and is 73% sure he's real. Johnny aspires to 73%.
Elizabeth Hess - Elizabeth Hess
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Greg Altman
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Loving animals and needing some company in Eccentric Ladyland Studios, our hosts set out to adopt a golden retriever. Sure, it started as a drunk dial but they're wonderful dogs. Anyway, their adoption interviewer, Bailey Mae Buttercup, covers areas most people don't cover. Well, not generally covered in interviews, but they're areas that most people believe are best left covered, if you get what I mean. Steve wants to adopt a 1965 Chevy Impala. Jeff is loading up on pet treats for his upcoming anniversary. Johnny snuck out of the studio very quickly after the show. Miss Clare watched on the hidden camera and some people heard laughter.
Bailey Mae Buttercup - Kate Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Anais Nun
Johnny - Sy Nophobia
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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As unavoidable as our own personal niyati, our hosts tackled the thorny yet fascinating issues of drugs and sex with their guest, Eddie Getgo, author of the limited best seller "Just Say No to Everything." He was basically talking about drugs and sex, not saying no to things like breathing or milk with brownies. Speaking of brownies, Jeff brought in a buffet of edibles for the staff and turns out Eddie helped himself to more than a couple. Once thoroughly buffeted, he developed a strong attraction to Miss Clare. She must have felt something too, since she actually chambered a round (which she hardly ever does). Actually, everyone enjoyed the buffet, and relaxed discussion ensued. Jeff gave a five-star review to Edibles Schmedibles. Steve is climbing the Knuckle Ridge Mountains in his mind. Miss Clare bought more ammo. Johnny drove right past the liquor store on the way home.
Eddie Getgo - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Ed Rosenthal
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With millions--let's face it, millions--of subscribers who entered our annual contest, it was extremely difficult to settle on just one. But we made the tough choices and awarded the prize to none other than Bart, or Bert, or something, from Austin, Texas. He joined our hosts in Eccentric Ladyland Studios to celebrate his win and even more importantly to say nice things about our hosts. When you hear what he won, you'll mark your calendars to enter the contest next year! Jeff takes eating local to the next logical level, praying local. Steve checks maps of Illinois, because it has been a long time. Johnny rushed out to buy the yacht rap album Yacht Riggers with Attitude. Miss Clare is already planning on winning next year.
Subscriber of the Year - Bart Glaser
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Sonny Del Mar
Skip Malibu - Himself
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Following a real-life dream Steve had involving a fellow time traveler, our hosts bring on Sally Anderson, a time traveler who recently visited the year 2035. With her is her 24/7 bias monitor James, officer in the soon to be created MAGAAT corps. Sally and James describe life in 2035 as best they can without causing a ripple in the timeline, other than those already rippling. Jeff starts to think that discussing the weather wasn't so bad. Steve tries to dream the same dream so he can get the real story. Miss Clare strives to be the first applicant to MAGAAT Academy. Johnny dries out his sandals.
Sally Anderson - Kate Wiig
MAGAAT Officer James - Chris Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Rollo Stickett
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Showing once again that they can get big-time guests, our hosts meet with Congresswoman Samantha Strauss, (R - Nebraska 1) and her husband Richard. The couple constitutes a formidable political team, as long as the proper ratios are maintained. Richard takes most of the questions, but the Congresswoman gets her voice in as well, when allowed. Steve brushes up his political resume and looks ahead to a short political career followed by years of lucrative lobbying. Jeff dozed off watching a WWII documentary and then woke up screaming when he realized it was the news. Miss Clare absolutely loves her work as Bias Monitor for the show. Johnny is waiting for a major issue, any major issue.
Congresswoman Samantha Strauss - Kate Wiig
Richard Strauss - Chris Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare/ Bias Monitor - Clare
Johnny - Richard Zeskind
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Jeff convinces Steve that it's a wonderful thing to call people he hasn't talked to in years and renew friendships. Steve finds the true impact he had on people over the years and reaches an Epiphany or at least an Epiphany Eve. He even gives singing a shot but reverts to reciting lyrics. Jeff left to pour over his 23 & Me report in a desperate search for a half-sister. Nostalgia used to be a lot better.
Debbie Ginger, Johnny Flynn, Ms. Petty, Burger King Guy, and Stan Damano:
all played by Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Spurred on by a discussion of the "In Memoriam" section of award shows, Steve and Jeff discuss Keith Richards and Jeff remembers seeing a documentary about his early life, which our hosts play for their listeners. Hosted by a pretentious yet pompous narrator, the documentary looks at people who were part of Keith's life as a child. Some of these people may have actually known him. It seems like just about everyone can claim they are responsible for the great music Keith made and is still making. Johnny sleeps it off at Steve's mom's house.
Keith Richards - David Hayden (scenes deleted)
Narrator - Lester Kurtis
Keith's mom - Lorna Mae Peasley
Martha, Keith's wetnurse - LaDonna Amanonia
Lisa Douglas, Keith's teacher - Eva Schnifter
Keith's aunt - Hortense Witherspoon
Sam Drucker - Boris Johnson
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Zeno Fabia
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After waxing nostalgically about the good old days of television, and how funny Alvy Moore was as Hank Kimball on Green Acres, our hosts welcome the Assistant Communications Director of the White House, whose name is also Alvy Moore! What a small world! Ms. Moore gives answers that many in the White House have refused to give and does it all in a way that would make her namesake proud. Steve still suffers from intermittent nose ringing. Jeff left early to watch videos of Ellie Mae getting into the cement pond. Miss Clare phoned in from somewhere out west with a detailed reason she wasn't here. Johnny kept his mouth shut for once, and Steve's mom feels like it's a holiday. Somehow all the important issues of the day got answered. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Alvy Moore - Tracie Mauk
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Dean D. Generate
Hank Kimball - Alvy Moore (see!)
Lisa Douglas - Eva Gabor
Green Acres theme song written by Vic Mizzy
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With the passing of an in-law relative of Jeff's, our hosts take the opportunity to offer a celebration of life for their absent friend. He was no doubt a familiar person to many, but he was very much not in tune with the new music playing these days. Everyone will be reminded of someone they didn't remember they knew. Jeff signs up for a course on Irish poetry. Steve is still in audio limbo, which is not a resort, and he's starting to think that the distortion is coming from inside the house. Miss Clare called in from Prince Edward Island saying she's not sure when she'll be back. Johnny looks ridiculous in his baseball cap, but the Popov helps.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Quisling Johnson
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Steve lets his inner tech bro run wild as he describes an idea that is going to make him billions. Jeff, on the other hand, had a bad dream and can't seem to think about anything else. They discuss the idea and decide there may be a place for both of them in the heady world of tech billionaires. Miss Clare took careful notes. Johnny insisted that he had the idea first. Everyone enjoys Mel Torme records. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Edgar Geller
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Just in time for summer movie fun, our hosts read a list of government-approved movies that are safe to watch, courtesy of our king and his jolly court. Action, romance, pathos, bathos...it's all in store for your summer entertainment! What a nice distraction from reality! By the way, the government has warned that they will make the summer bloodier and more expensive than you think it will be. Miss Clare plans to hack into those entertainment devices and replace some of the films with Ramones videos. Steve tries miming in a mask. Jeff is binge watching anything with Kristi Noem in it. Johnny actually enjoys flavorless meals. Hilarity ensues.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - J.D. McCarthy
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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With so many public figures having public feuds these days, it was only a matter of time until our hosts had their own feud. Who knew it would be live in the studio in the middle of a show that was supposed to be about dream interpretation? Jeff may have fired the first shot, but a lot of people say Steve did and they don't care what the tape says, they're going with it. Miss Clare hoped to take on the winner. Johnny compared a Sea Breeze and a Cape Codder and decided that he likes vodka. Any resemblance between this feud and any actual public feud is purely coincidental.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - M. Hatfield McCoy
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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A discussion of Jeff's possibly imaginary trip to Spain, and a very unique food item he ate there (or in his mind) happens to coincide with a helpful email chock full of helpful food ideas for those who may be impacted by economic upheaval to come. Several recipes are discussed with varying degrees of nausea, capped off by a commercial for our king's new restaurant chain. Health inspectors nationwide welcome the job security. Kathy sent Jeff out for the same meal they ate in Spain, but Jeff is reluctant to acquire it. Steve is still talking strangely. Johnny asked for a bottle of Brioschi even though it has no alcohol whatsoever.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Whippet Pasteur
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his orchestra.
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Spurred on by a homily Steve vaguely remembers, our hosts jump into a discussion on the merits of exercise in general and pickleball in particular. They are joined by self-proclaimed pickleball legend Mark "Shooter" Osborne, who gives them a lot to think about with the origin of his nickname. Somehow the elderly yet sundowning Scooter drives the discussion from senior sports to juvenile humor. If you suspend your maturity, you should enjoy it. Steve Googles Oral Roberts. Jeff signs on as a test marketer for Senior Wetness. Miss Clare plays with the thermostat. Johnny considers adding weight training to his exercise regimen. Shooter woke up two days later in a bar on Bryn Mawr next to the El.
Mark "Shooter" Osborne - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Rubic Cubano
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Our hosts stumble upon a book describing what people can and cannot buy under our King's new rules. No more hoarding two or three dolls...unless you buy the King's meme coin. Then hoard away. Jeff tells a story about cheese blintzes that takes longer than it takes to eat cheese blintzes. Steve pictures what thirty blow-up dolls would look like. Miss Clare spent the show in the engineering booth with her face in her hands. Johnny is fixated on Swedish furniture and meatballs.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare (scenes deleted)
Johnny - Nemo Nada
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Our hosts start with a discussion about how things are changing, and before anyone is ready, they look into the recently published plans for changing our language. Top-down language changes are always so popular and effective, and this one promises to be no different. Steve rewrites a popular nursery rhyme. Jeff wants to visit Council Bluffs. Miss Clare has decided not to use any words, approved or banned, until further notice. Johnny needs a safer safe word.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Max Linguistica
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Starting with a dream Jeff had about baseball, and aside of the fact that as a life-long Sox fan Jeff didn't know that Minnie Minoso was from Cuba, our hosts pilot a show looking on the bright side of life. So many shows have talked about what is bad that it was time to have a show focused on the good. They examine things that are happening that look bad at first, and squint long enough to find the silver linings in all kinds of things you would never accuse of having a good side. Steve considers starting an organization called Optimists Anonymous. Jeff considers changing doctors. Johnny and Steve's mom book tickets for a weekend of 50s allegorical sci-fi films.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - C.J. Young
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Spurred by a Harvard Business School-like experience Steve had at a lemonade stand, our hosts look at the struggles between our King and the Ivy League schools around accusations that Harvard is anti-Semitic. They read and comment on the demands the administration made on Harvard. Jeff suggests that Council Bluffs University be admitted to the Ivy League. Steve considers opening a lemonade stand. Johnny thinks it is all a problem of semantics. Did I say that right?
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - S.I. Hayakawa
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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Steve's basement rehab gets rocked by the ebb and flow of tariffs as our hosts ponder rising prices on ordinary items. Inflation seems to be balloning, and they hope that we all won't be Schwinndled (definition in the episode). They welcome a repeat sponsor with a product that gives you the power of unelected power, and when looking for a place to buy it they find a delightful new store and a possible new sponsor. Their pricing depends on where you live, so move wisely. Steve considers newsprint for his basement remodel but can't find any. Jeff left early to attend a horse auction. Miss Clare was absent, attending a conference on Danish Engineering Initiatives (DEI). Johnny was relieved of his show-closing duties by a surprise takeover by Our King. Sources later said the takeover was a mistake but they were keeping the studio. Your enjoyment of this episode will be greater if you have watched "It's a Good Life," season 3 episode 8 of the original Twilight Zone, screenplay by Rod Serling based on a short story by Jerome Bixby.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare (credit only)
Johnny - Ralph Terry
Our King - Anthony Fremont
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Nostalgic for the old days that never were, Steve and Jeff revisit their very first podcast. Back in the dim recesses of history, they kicked off the show by interviewing Steve's psychologist. She was the only guest that said yes, and she only said yes because she charged for an appointment. Oh, but there are surprises in store! Let's just say that hand-held audio technology has been a wonderful thing, on balance. Plus, hear about that 1965 Impala straight from the source!
Dr. Donna Fields - Jess Kent
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Bernie Cornfeld
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Jeff's wife Kathy loves podcasts--not this podcast, no, podcasts about the British Royal Family gossip. Steve and Jeff thought that since we now have our ouw king, it was time to invite onto the show someone who hosts a podcast about American Royal Family gossip. Ms. Stacy Blank, host of the hot podcast "A Royal Scam," (not the Steely Dan album) told us all kinds of goodies about our new king's family. Let's just say golf is in for some surprises. Steve hosts a meeting on Signal about shoe sizes and invited all kinds of people. Jeff is being fitted for a crown, and no dentist is involved. Miss Clare is selling a royal line of kneepads--DC just can't get enough of them. Johnny is talking to Steve's mom's neighbor over the back fence.
Stacy Blank - Tracie Mauk
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Tommy Paine
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Spurred by Jeff's recent marriage counseling, our hosts remember that they are also in the marriage (and divorce) counseling business. They haven't heard from their sole clients in a while, so they listen to the original episode to see what they did wrong. Find out what they decided! Meanwhile Miss Clare is trying to corner the lawn care and cleaning service businesses. And Johnny had another drink.
Lori/ Mary - Kate Wiig
Joe/ Steve - Chris Wiig
Steve (not Joe) - Steve
Jeff (not his dad) - Jeff
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Jumping into the swirling world of conspiracy theories, our hosts discuss conspiracy theories and the chances for a Cubs-Sox World Series (not a the same time). They speak truth, or something, to power, or whatever. Jeff reviews the non-verbal cues President Lyndon Johnson gave. Steve wonders why anyone would go visit the shuttered Zion Nuclear Power Station, let alone set up some protocols for it. Miss Clare is trying to corner the market in Congressional kneepads. Johnny is afraid to go home. Everyone had to leave suddenly when unexpected guests arrived. Tune in next week and see if our hosts fall under the category DEI...Didn't Escape ICE.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Vidkun Quisling
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Always fascinanted by the world of sports, our hosts invite one of the 800 Nebraska Coaches of the Year for 2024, Mic Dika. Coach right away lets them know who is the boss, and talks about his vast experience--everything from Mathletes to Senior Kosher Pickleball. Jeff is speechless. Steve needs to drive his mom to the dentist. Johnny is hanging out in his car. Miss Clare is hiding out at the Harney Hotel.
Coach Mic Dika - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Mick Thryson
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his his Orchestra
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Excited by the news that a spelling bee was happening nearby, our hosts invite one of the spellers onto the show and it turns out she is none other than Sweet Baby Daphne, who was on the show years back discussing her ailment, Juvenile Tourette's Syndrome. She changed her name to Bonnie Ruby Oswald and has outgrown her illness...somewhat. Steve and Jeff host their own spelling bee with her but decide to close early. Miss Clare laughed so hard she dropped her brass knuckles. Johnny takes a bath.
Sweet Baby Daphne/ Bonnie Ruby Oswald - Leni Bruce
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Marty Leuther
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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Our hosts have always loved Canada and have never had any problems there. Well, except for the trip where Steve put ketchup on his poutine and tried to pump his own gas at the Esso station. But other than that things have been fine. Good thing that our king can clear things up and show Canada fans like Steve and Jeff the threat posed by Canadian "bacon" and maple syrup! Our hosts discuss these newly unveiled threats posed by Canada and just can't wait for the Denmark show. Steve tries some poutine without ketchup. Jeff finds out that maple syrup can grow hair. Johnny gets a two-year supply of all his medications. Miss Clare called in from Vancouver...not the one in Washington.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Les Pearson
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his orchestra.
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With, let's face it, millions of listeners, our hosts get hundreds of emails a day. This week they deleted the spam and read three or four from listeners and discussed the questions and comments. Well, they talked about something. Jeff decided to take a poetry writing class. Steve left early to meet up with Gretchen. Miss Clare found she was dangerously low on cyanide so she left early too. Everyone is happy to have the new sponsor, Musk Cologne, but Johnny was oddly silent. The estate of Frank O'Hara is considering its legal options.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Al Bedoya
"Musk" comemrcial voices - John Henry Steele and Bridgitte Cohn (you figure out which is which).
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It's that time of year again...time for Jeff's dad's parole hearing (real and faux dads), but it's also tax time! SInce they had such a good 2024, our hosts decide to get their taxes done early. And so they can not only do their taxes but also give to their audience, they bring in their tax guy Harry Brock and do their taxes live on the show! The tax tips alone are worth the listen! Their usual guy, Harry's brother Ross, is in prison but Harry shows that he's the brains of the pair by providing ways that your tax refund can be much higher than your total gross income. Oh, and your secret information's no secret anymore! Jeff considers moving to Ohio and changing his diet. Steve automates the track starter pistol he found. Miss Clare is unlikely to file taxes but our hosts don't pay her anyway. Johnny gets some completely undeserved rest.
Harry Brock - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Elwood P. Dowd
Ross Brock - Shel Shiver
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Not just a classic Shirley Ellis 60s song anymore, our hosts guide us through the new and improved name game, where Adam-like we rename and redefine reality. It's an exciting journey, but take notes. In fact take them in pencil because they may change. Jeff takes a selfie of himself with the new Google Maps. Steve starts a campaign to rename an ocean Steve's Bathtub. Miss Clare has a copy of all your tax, health, and banking information but don't worry, it's read-only. Johnny and Steve's mom go out to Olive Garden.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Tzu Denim
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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Loving animals and needing some company in Eccentric Ladyland Studios, our hosts set out to adopt a golden retriever. Sure, it started as a drunk dial but they're wonderful dogs. Anyway, their adoption interviewer, Bailey Mae Buttercup, covers areas most people don't cover. Well, not generally covered in interviews, but they're areas that most people believe are best left covered, if you get what I mean. Steve wants to adopt a 1965 Chevy Impala. Jeff is loading up on pet treats for his upcoming anniversary. Johnny snuck out of the studio very quickly after the show. Miss Clare watched on the hidden camera and some people heard laughter.
Bailey Mae Buttercup - Kate Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Anais Nun
Johnny - Sy Nophobia
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Faced with a backlash against edgy medical information in a recent episode. our hosts revisit the advice of a highly paid medical professional who appeared on the show last season, Dr. D., who by his own admission is the most important person on Earth. Pronunciation still eludes them however. Dr. D discusses his book "I Didn't Go to Medical School for my Health (or Yours Either)," and diagnoses several listeners live on air without even seeing them, just like he does in his office. Steve is happy that his mac and cheese fetish has not harmed his Impala relationship. Jeff wonders if hair plugs will stop the spread of leprosy. Johnny moonlights for the Doc, but winds up just another patient. Dr. D enjoys a donut with his cigarette.
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
Dr. D. - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Shirly from Omaha - Jeff
Scott - Colton Knight
Bethany - Peaches LaSchlesse
Ellen - Betsy Crockett
Johnny - Horace McCoy
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Trying to follow through on their New Year's resolution to lower prices, our hosts consider re-contacting Rich Mann, who declined to invest in their show last year, in the hopes he will give them money. This will have no impact on prices, of course, but our hosts will feel better. To get in the mood they listen to their show with Rich Mann's sock puppet and practice their ability to kneel while speaking in a Russian accent. They lose ownership of the show but through tenacity and high liabilities they are able to get the show back. The sock puppet is concerned about this year's monsoon season. Jeff offers to sell his hair, if you can believe that. Steve muses about a stand-up comedy tour of some exotic locales. Johnny breathes a sigh of relief and buys three cases of tonic water.
Mr. Rich Sock Puppet: Eric Green
Steve: Steve
Jeff: Jeff
Mr. Rich Mann: Ivan Tafakyavitch
Johnny: Mel Cooley
Bystander (scenes deleted): Sergei Bahr
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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A medical dilemma for Jeff's brother-in-law, oddly also named Johnny, sets our hosts thinking about the time and money saving process of doing your own surgery. They bring back a show with self-surgery expert Taylor Green, and his literary agent Maxine "Mo" "Max" Greene, no relation. They share all kinds of simple surgical procedures anyone can do on themselves, saving money if not themselves. Steve takes some Gorilla Glue for his date after the show. Jeff's dog for some reason ran away and was spotted knocking on a vet's office door. All brought to you from the good people on both sides at Appropriation Station, featuring their new used South Asian clothing boutique, Whose Sari Now, and their Sew Sari alterations wizards.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Taylor Green - Ray Bass
Maxine "Mo" "Max" Greene - Astrid Munn
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With a new year ahead, our hosts take a few seconds to acknowledge the holiday and then dive headlong into the mysterious world of the future. Steve being from the future takes the lead, and tells us all a few things to expect in the year ahead. Hint: keep your tennis shoes on. Jeff bought an advance ticket for the new Batman movie opening May 2027. Miss Clare did not attend the show and some of the Eccentric Ladyland staff think she has been deported to Evanston. Johnny almost sobers up for a minute, then dives into that hot new book everyone's talking about, My Struggle. Happy new year!
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Criswell Kreskin
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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With freedom of comedy uncertain, Steve and Jeff decide to use the last show of the year to use up jokes they bought that might be illegal in the near future. Some shows do a touching retrospective on the year just past, but hey, we're talking money for jokes. For some reason they were most worried about the cache of Vladimir Putin jokes they have, so they feature jokes on Vlad and Vlad-adjacent topics. Steve and Jeff both consider whether deportation to Peoria and Urbana (respectively) is better or worse than hiding in the basement. Johnny takes Steve's mom for a romantic evening in Chicago's chic Uptown neighborhood. Miss Clare may already have been deported.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare (scenes deleted)
Johnny - Francis Parkey Yockey
"Auld Lang Sine" written by Robert Burns and performed by Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians
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Our hosts solve one of the greatest holiday problems--how to shop for families that share more than one faith. Well, at least the Christmas/ Hanukkah problem. One of their listeners actually solves it for them, but the listener doesn't have a podcast so Steve and Jeff get the credit. Steve is planning a record featuring his "ch" diction skills. Jeff found out the Gaza poster was a big hit. Miss Clare is dining on corned beef schnitzel. Johnny is off this week so is probably knocking back Popov with Steve's mom.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Griffin
Mordechai O'Leary - Robert Downey, Jr (scenes deleted)
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Fresh on the heels of last episode's rewrite of the Ten Commandments, the incoming Ministry of Truth sent another message about exciting movies coming soon to an oligarchy near you. Out hosts bravely provide information (NOTE: not criticism) about the movies for their listeners. Jeff wonders if the Putin jokes will work if they're changed to Trudeau jokes. Steve asks Santa for the DVD boxed set of the complete works of Sigourney Weaver. Johnny watches his second favorite Christmas movie, Battleground. Miss Clare is in the running for Ambassador to Romania.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Herman Glimpshur
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Dipping their toes into Theology, our hosts read an email millions of people received and interpret it for those who can't It is the New Ten Commandments for a new day, and they help people feel better about not having to make decisions on their own. Steve considers changing his name to Jerome. Jeff wonders whether the new Commandments come with a punch and cake reception afterwards. Miss Clare is having a few drinks near the studio. Johnny does what he is told. As will we all.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Randy Shorenstein
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Our hosts bring Steve's mother and his new half-sister, Little Stevie, into Eccentric Ladyland Studios for a traditional family Thanksgiving dinner and podcast. Miss Clare provided the food and then left rather quickly. Steve's mom shows none of her 90+ years as she smokes, drinks, and sasses with the best. Jeff is shopping for Christmas at Stateville, and Joliet will never be the same. Steve is sure the opening joke will end soon. Johnny contemplates a future in child care. Little Stevie may overcome her Tourette's and have a great career as a motivational speaker.
Steve's Mom - Nicky Sitler
Little Stevie - Veroica Lodge Andrews
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Will'm the F'in Conqueror
"Chase" from "Midnight Experss" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Steve's alleged ex-girlfriend Meg got married, and the occasion spurred renewed fantasies strong enough that our hosts wanted to listen to her appearance on the show from Season 1. We could talk about eye of the beholder and make your own reality but you'd be better off listening. Be wary of wedding rituals you never heard of, though.
Meg - Cassi Warren
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Lazlo Toth
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Times have changed, and our hosts have issues adjusting to the new times. Fortunately for all of us, they talk through their issues and help themselves, and maybe us too. Darkness may be all around, but semi-darkness comes in the morning, or something like that. Steve wonders about the equitable distribution of decision making, and then forgets about it. Jeff left early to watch Shawshank Redemption again. Miss Clare salutes her watch. Johnny called Popov Vodka to see if they have any imported ingredients.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Vidkun Quisling
"Chase" from "Midnght Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Unlike certain major news outlets, our hosts urge people to vote for Harris/Walz.
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Maybe it's the Zeitgeist. Maybe it's the Boswilligkeit (see Gemutlichkeit, antonyms). But our hosts tonight started out to do a regular episode and realized that some things going on are not funny. OK, a few episodes of ours, yes, but maybe there are things that need to be taken seriously. That's exactly what Steve and Jeff do when they turn from their usual format and address a critical issue from their hearts. At least that was the organ they said. Stay for an ending that you and Johnny won't forget. After the show Steve tried to call Europe a few times. Jeff is playing his favorite 2008 to 2016 playlist. Miss Clare has been on the phone with Air Canada for hours. Speaking of hours, Johnny and Steve's mom are still in the early voting line.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Harold Stassen
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With negative campaigning all the rage, Steve and Jeff wondered if they could create a show that just listed positive things about each of the major party candidates for president. Kamala Harris won the coin toss and elected to receive the first episode. Our hosts list positive attributes, but as hard-hitting journalists they go all New York Times or CNN and ask the probing questions voters want to know(Hint: it was an A minus in AP Differential Equations sophomore year, wasn't it?). Steve is excited about going back through his Tod Browning collection. Jeff can't wait for the first big snowfall. Miss Clare is unusually quiet, which may be a bad sign. Johnny refreshes his breath.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Warner Altoid
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With political rhetoric flying freely, the subject of lies somehow came up for our hosts as they kick off a glorious third season. An anonymous listener sent them a manuscript of a soon to be published book, The Art of the Lie, and Steve and Jeff read some excerpts and discuss the book. Not to go all Jay Gatsby on you, but you may be amazed by the depth and breadth and height these lies can reach,,,it's really out of sight! No PAC money was used in producing this show despite our hourly text and email pleading. Jeff discusses an important lesson he learned about sharing. Steve practices his German. Miss Clare considers a career in politics. Johnny practices what he will say to Steve's mom. This episode may be important information for the 11 undecided voters out there.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Stanton Carlisle
"Lollipops and Roses" written by Tony Velona and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass
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With genetics having an unexpected political moment, Steve and Jeff take a look at the age-old question of nature vs. nurture. To put it another way, are the descendants of evil people also evil themselves? To find out they brought on Jeffrey Dahmer, Jr., Jimmy Jones, and a certain John Baron who swears he is not the source of the menu we got in Episode 48. They all seem to have overcome, or at least sanewashed, their particular hereditary problems. Steve plans a trip to The Cub for some tongue. Jeff is booking another European tour with John Baron to get the real story. Miss Clare is taking a working vacation to Jonestown Estates--she called it a research project. Johnny forgot the towels.
Jeffrey Dahmer, Jr
Jimmy Jones
John Baron - All played by Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Herbie Van Doren
"Chase" from "Midnoght Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Steve and Jeff welcome back the delightful fashion influencer Chrysanthemum for a look at what is hot in Halloween costumes for this year. She lets us all know that the prevailing theme for this year is "slutty," and all other themes revolve aroud it. Chrysanthemum's grandmother makes a surprise visit and brings valuable knowledge that only a few will understand. Steve spent the show looking at photos of a 1965 Chevy Impala. Right after the show Jeff booked two appointments a week for the next year with his dentist. Johnny is oddly happy watching them drill finger holes in a bowling ball. Miss Clare is practicing her nunchucks.
Chrysanthemum/ Grandma - Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborn.com) (Insta, TikTok and YouTube as @nataliemosborne)
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Dr. Richard Slutsky
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Are people really eating pets? Is cat-napping something more than just 40 winks? Our intrepid journalistic hosts give this the smell test as they review a menu submitted by listener John Baron which purports to be an actual restaurant in what the menu itself describes as "Ohiyo." They even spelled it "menyou." And they couldn't say Haitian without saying hate. Join Steve and Jeff as they explore the culinary extremes of the mind.
John Baron - Dexter J. Temerity
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Hintz O'Enron
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Our hosts' latent rivalry emerges in a battle of the wits, as they compete on an IQ test live on the show. Neither of them knew how much IQ had to do with bodily functions. They take on the final part of the test by each answering 10 questions on judgment. Vegas odds were that they would both get zero, but one emerged the victor. But all is well, and they went out after the show for an Americanized Tandoori at Whose Sari Now. Johnny joined them and can't wait to tell Steve's mom that he can spell both "sari" and "sorry." Jeff considers renting out nostril space. Steve is not sure he can ever watch I Love Lucy again. Miss Clare took the week off and is very happy about it.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - N. Cognito
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Steve and Jeff take a look back to when they hosted a guest they believed to be Jeff's dad Jerry. Turns out it was Vito, a Stateville inmate and Senn High School alum who assumed Jerry's identity to get a job with the show. Vito later managed to father Steve's new little baby sister, and is probably the most congenial inmate in his wing. Jeff dreams about father-son-father time with Vito and Jerry. Steve wonders whether his mom is better off with Vito or Johnny. No actual rodents were harmed in the production of this show.
Vito/Faux Jerry - Justin Edmonds
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Allen Watts
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Faced with inevitable aging, Steve and Jeff seek out a show refresh with new ideas from show pitch artist Paul Mooney. Paul is the creator of many shows, several of which were appropriated by others and a couple of which were actually produced. He gives our hosts a series of show and guests ideas, and Steve and Jeff react to each amazing suggestion. It's The Match Game meets Euphoria. Council Bluffs is very excited.
Paul Mooney - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare (grumbling deleted)
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Steve and Jeff reach deep into the mail bag and read emails from the millions, let's face it, the millions of listeners. Some are very touching. Some are funny. Some must have listened to another podcast. It's a free for all episode with no stops, other than the end of our rented time at Eccentric Ladyland Studios.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Tony Ferguson
Miss Clare - Clare (scenes deleted)
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Our hosts take a look at intergalactic conjugal relations from many angles, and are joined by a surprise guest, Fanny May, who is actually Marjorie Mayflower, Steve's former paper girl and guest on an early show. She is all grown up and has had extensive experience in pole dancing, but is looking to work for a high-flying company called Space Sex. Believe it or not, she came to Steve and Jeff for career advice. She even gets to audition by reading Johnny's closing comments, thanks to Johnny's unending charity.
Fanny May/ Marjorie Mayflower - Brandy Alexis
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Billy Blythe
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After dream and real-life encounters with the fractured state of politics these days, our hosts welcome lobbyist (or consultant) Stan Walsh, who shows us the true vlaue of political involvement, rounded to the nearest $100. Stan seems to have a role in just about every PAC covering almost every issue. Of late he has been buying black robes for some reason. Stan leaves us with his latest commercial helping us understand something we should have understood before. Jeff is checking his voter registration. Steve is considering a late night PBS documentary. Johnny is probably up to his knees in cheese spread.
Stan Walsh - Harlan Finch
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Saul Zinn
Kamala Certs Commercial Disputers:
Brianna Carbona
Eddie "Cheese" Muenster
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In an uncharacteristically introspective moment, our hosts talk about the "what ifs" of life and begin to worry that they will have regrets, which will lead to more worry and more regrets, and...their guest, Harold Houseman, founder and president of PharmaBrute, shows them a way that science may alleviate those regrets. Jeff at long last has a legit excuse for going into the women's bathroom. Steve dreams of veal piccata and Valpolicella. Johnny gets some new AA batteries. Everyone improvises something.
Harold Houseman - Del Carey
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Italian Steve - Roman Brio
Female Jeff - Christina Bruce
Johnny - Diogenes MacArthur
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Spurred on by lingering nostalgia and pessimistic medical reports about Jeff's Granny Fanny, Steve flies Granny in for one last appearance on her favorite podcast. Granny doesn't say much but still struggles with digestive issues,at least for a lot of the program. Jeff loses himself in family memories and some additional drugs. Steve begins to think that time is a global conspiracy. Miss Clare certainly has her hands full but finds time to use the new studio teapot. Johnny wonders about those papers Miss Clare asked him to sign. Family unity is celebrated, at least briefly.
Granny Fanny - Michelle Ditka
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - John Gilbert
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Thinking back to last season when they hosted Bob "Crash" Davis, our hosts invited Crash's son, Robbie "Smash" Davis, who is on his own record-setting pace after surviving 58 crashes this year alone. Smash has some difficulty, after 58 hits to the head, but seems to enjoy himself and takes a very productive nap, wherever he thinks he is. Steve is not sure what to do with a cold Big Mac. Jeff wants to try dreaming but the Opprobrium he took keeps him awake. Johnny can't wait for the Christmas movie season, and dreams about what records he may set by then. Miss Clare seems very happy about it all.
Robbie "Smash" Davis - Jackie Chan
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Al Goldstein
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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In Jeff's never ending quest to make some things larger and some things smaller, this episode combines the results of a "membership drive," (if you know what I mean) and the results of Dr. Rhinostein's nose job. Things went so well that NBC contacted Jeff about a reunion. Dr. Rhinostein let us know he is open for business, above and under the surgical table. Steve is waiting for it to stop raining so he can use his magnifying glass. Johnny had one of the Doctor's twilight cocktails on the rocks and nobody has seen him for a few hours. Miss Clare was not at the recording but she texted to ask for the Doctor's number, something about future business, I think.
Dr. Will Rhinostein - Mark Richter
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Don Birnam
Miss Clare - Clare (scenes deleted)
"I'll Be There For You (Friends Theme) written by David Crane, Marta Kauffman, Michael Skloff, and Allee Willis, and performed by The Rembrants
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A conversation that started with nostalgia for the "good old days" ended with a memory of that famous episode with Dr. Will Rhinostein, the plastic surgeon who gave Jeff Jennifer Aniston's nose during an extended surgery at an Omaha motel. Of course, once it was in their heads they had to hear the episode. And so will you whether it was in your head or not. Dr. Will certainly earned every bit of his Masters of Fine Arts. Nostalgia sure used to be a lot better.
Dr. Will Rhinostein - Mark Richter
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Vincent Parry
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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After seeing him on a public access cable show at the car repair place, Steve invites Blaine Struthers to the show. Blaine focuses on collecting and selling celebrity garbage, and they discuss the many celebrities who have thrown away interesting and valuable things. Of course, two of those celebrities are Steve and Jeff themselves. From noses to negligee, our hosts have thrown away a lot of interesting stuff with very high resale values. Jeff wonders if he threw away the right nose(s). Steve gets in shape for a photo shoot that could make him six figures. Johnny stops for a chalupa after a garbage run. And Miss Clare schedules insurance exams for our hosts.
Blaine Struthers - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Mike Treeger
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Lovers of all furry creatures, Steve and Jeff welcome Kitty Carlyle, a cat lover who shows our hosts the true way to understand our pets. Kitty discusses her club, which Steve and Jeff plan on joining and then not going to any meetings. Jeff blocks out most of a week at the groomer. Steve is excited to take his cats to the portrait studio. Johnny does his closing from outdoors and may stay there.
Kitty Carlyle - Cassi Warren
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Sylvester "Mister" Jinks
Cats provided by Blofeld of Spectre
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Always pushing the boundaries of literacy and knowledge, our hosts dive head first into the deep connections between food and dreams by hosting trad wife and author Mara Schmidt, whose new book "You Dream What You Eat" shows people how to curate their dreams by simply eating the right foods. Listeners will love the descriptions of her Dadaist yet esoteric dreams. Our hosts even get into the dream business, as if diets that curate dreams like this are some kind of game. Just after the show Mara ran home and binge streamed season 3 of The Bear. Jeff is worried because this morning his daughter said "Bye bye, dad." Steve ate a Peking duck after the show and dreamed he was a 1959 Edsel. Johnny is, well, Johnny.
Mara Schmidt - Astrid Munn
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Jimmy Smith
Frank Edwards - Eddie Franks (Scenes Deleted)
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Our hosts revisit an interview with world famous author and motivational speaker Tony Zigfield, who Steve met while making a beeline for the men's room at Southern California's convenient Randolph Scott Airport. Money seems to be an issue as they navigate an interview chock full of quotable, memorable, and motivational platitudes handed out by Mr. Zigfield as if they were so many wintergreen mints. Both Steve and Jeff make misguided yet incorrect comparisons between themselves and Lennon and McCartney of The Beatles. The value of silence is lauded, which is not common in a podcast.
Tony Zigfield - Jack Robbins
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"I'm Not Talking," written and performed by Mose Allison
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In a likely futile attempt to keep their minds sharp, Steve and Jeff play the fun game Would You Rather. Miss Clare joins the game and makes things much more immediate. Our hosts start the game on Sesame Street but wind up closer to Cloverfeld Lane. Jeff wants to take his salary in lottery tickets. Steve promises to watch the new Captain Marvel movie. Miss Clare is no doubt spreading joy even as we speak. Johnny has been spending an awful lot of time practicing diving at the park district pool.
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Ted "Cannonball" Phlug
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Jeff convinces Steve that it's a wonderful thing to call people he hasn't talked to in years and renew friendships. Steve finds the true impact he had on people over the years and reaches an Epiphany or at least an Epiphany Eve. He even gives singing a shot but reverts to reciting lyrics. Jeff left to pour over his 23 & Me report in a desperate search for a half-sister. Nostalgia used to be a lot better.
Debbie Ginger, Johnny Flynn, Ms. Petty, Burger King Guy, and Stan Damano:
all played by Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
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Spurred on by a discussion of the "In Memoriam" section of award shows, Steve and Jeff discuss Keith Richards and Jeff remembers seeing a documentary about his early life, which our hosts play for their listeners. Hosted by a pretentious yet pompous narrator, the documentary looks at people who were part of Keith's life as a child. Some of these people may have actually known him. It seems like just about everyone can claim they are responsible for the great music Keith made and is still making. Johnny sleeps it off at Steve's mom's house.
Keith Richards - David Hayden (scenes deleted)
Narrator - Lester Kurtis
Keith's mom - Lorna Mae Peasley
Martha, Keith's wetnurse - LaDonna Amanonia
Lisa Douglas, Keith's teacher - Eva Schnifter
Keith's aunt - Hortense Witherspoon
Sam Drucker - Boris Johnson
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Zeno Fabia
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In a wide ranging exploration on the topic of perspective, our hosts take callers' comments and questions to get a better feel for what the people want. Callers range from total strangers to almost total strangers. Miss Clare receives a special delivery. Steve is excited to revisit the glory days of the American Basketball Association. Jeff realizes he may have been lying for years, but he has a good excuse and it was very profitable. Johnny courts stomach trouble.
Caller 1: Dan Danner
Caller 2: Quentin Dusenberry
Caller 3: Mac MacArthur
Caller 4: Barbara Barth
Caller 5: Priscilla Quinella
Caller 6: Solange Sucre
Steve; Steve
Jeff: Jeff
Miss Clare: Clare
Johnny: Edgar Hoopskirt
"(Theme From) Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder
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Steve and Jeff take comedy to a serious level when they explore the multiple and sometimes conflicting layers of consciousness and reality, or at least that is how their guest Dr. Armand Leubethrewer described it in a later news conference. Our hosts treat us to stories of an imitation of an imitation, and then amaze us all with a fourth generation imitation. Important in the discussion is a moment of non-embarassment which led to laughter and applause, and also a quick end to a date. Nonetheless, it started them on a performing career. Dr. Leubethrewer's book "What You Don't Know Can Hurt Me: Macroobsessions and the Unconscious" will be an audiobook daily special next week. The Histrionics Department at Cathartic State University must be very proud.
Dr. Armand Leubethrewer - Seymour Glass
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Hideo Gump
Guitarist at Coffee House - Mark Peckelberg (credit only)
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
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Walking on a cloud after sweeping the prestigious 2024 Poddy Awards for excellence in podcasting, Steve and Jeff revisit one of the winning episodes. They bring on Dr. Armand Leubethrewer, Charles Foster Kane Professor of Histrionics and Sand Volleyball at Cathartic State University and author of the scholarly yet rarely read book "What You Don't Know Can Hurt Me: Macroobsessions and the Unconscious." Steve relives an early taste of vodka which changed the direction of his life. Jeff macroobsesses about performance, and then about obsessing about performance. Johnny stays mostly out of the way and is probably at Steve's mom's house by now. You won't want to miss this thrilling, insightful, and at times amusing two part award winner! Brought to you by the good people at Pho King, where you'll be treated like a Pho King celebrity
Dr. Armand Leubethrewer - Seymour Glass
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Mack Robosession
Sigmund Freud - Himself (scenes deleted)
In a stroke of good fortune, inventor Harold Thomas Johnson returns to discuss how he discovered static electricity, which led to multiple inventions to help the personal stress of millions of people. Steve and Johnny show some signs of strain in their working relationship, but maybe Steve pumps it up into more of an issue than it should be. Jeff is excited to field test the new version of X-Ray Spex.
Harold Thomas Johnson - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Otto Aerotica
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
Our hosts bring a dose of reality to Hollywood by interviewing Ms. Vivian Ward, the real person whose life was distorted into a confusion of Prostestant and prostitute by film producers. Her life has been a long series of events usurped by Hollywood., everything from toxic torts to odd partners and roommates. Ms. Ward hedges about a suspicious death that may or may not have occurred. Steve looks up the phone number for Writers' Guild of America West. Jeff wishes he had Jason Alexander's hair. Johnny is Jonesing some mysterious pizza at Steve's mom's house.
Ms. Vivian Ward - Kate Wiig
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Roland Tucker
"Whipped Cream" written by Naomi Neville and Allen Toussaint, and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
Steve and Jeff attempt to interview Harold Thomas Johnson, who says he invented electricity in 1987, but a major negotiations coup by Miss Clare brings our hosts to their knees and they finally settle with their new producer. They wax nostalgically about this season with Miss Clare and remind listeners of pertinent facts the listeners likely didn't know to begin with. All seems resolved, and they should be back in the big studio next time. Meanwhile Miss Clare hires someone to cover for Johnny, who is submerged somewhere at Steve's mom's house.
Visit www.steveandjeff.com
Harold Thomas Johnson: George Metesky
Steve: Steve
Jeff: Jeff
Miss Clare: Clare
Johnny: Althea Enraissia
"Whipped Cream" written by Naomi Neville and Allen Toussaint, and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
"Roses and Lollipops" written by Tony Velona and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
On the occasion of Steve's dad's 90th birthday, our hosts wax nostalgic and think about genetics, which of course brings to mind their Season One show with Paleo-Geneticist Dr. Xenia Goldfarb. Dr. Goldfarb discusses how humanity was a mistake, and why we should be nice to cats. Jeff makes a slow recovery from his first in a series of nose jobs, and is shocked to learn that genealogy is not spelled with a J. Steve considers writing a script called "The Color Turquoise." Johnny celebrates another day with Steve's mom.
Dr. Xenia Goldfarb - Tracie Mauk
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Rex DeCarlo
"Roses and Lollipops" written by Tony Velona and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
Steve and Jeff welcome the world's richest man...well, at least the richest man's sock puppet, although the man himself makes a cameo appearance. Our hosts lose ownership of the show but through tenacity and high liabilities they are able to get the show back. The sock puppet is concerned about this year's monsoon season. Jeff offers to sell his hair, if you can believe that. Steve muses about a stand-up comedy tour of some exotic locales. Johnny breathes a sigh of relief and buys a case of tonic water.
Mr. Rich Sock Puppet: Eric Green
Steve: Steve
Jeff: Jeff
Mr. Rich Mann: Ivan Tafakyavitch
Johnny: Mel Cooley
Bystander (scenes deleted): Sergei Bahr
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
Visit www.steveandjeff.com
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Steve and Jeff prove that nostalgia ain't what it used to be by re-enacting a "mystery challenger" segment of an old What's My Line show. Of course, they booked the guest and she was right in front of them so a good part of the mystery was missing. The "mystery challenger" was Doris Day (not that one) a cat juggler. Doris talks about her career throwing felines into the air, and she manages to (usually) land on her feet. Jeff forms a chapter of the Joey Heatherton Fan Club. Steve is concerned with how fish are treated by society, not to mention cats. Johnny vows to stay out of the basement.
Doris Day - Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborn.com) (Insta, TikTok and YouTube as @nataliemosborne)
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Joey D'Vision
No animals were harmed during the production of this podcast
"Roses and Lollipops" written by Tony Velona and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass
Steve and Jeff take a break from being funny to embark on a serious yet philosophical view of bad luck as a concept. Their guest, Billie Cosby, details her life-long struggle with bad luck and everyone feels something. Steve swears off eating potatoes. Jeff is hungry enough to eat half a pie baked by Aunt Bea. Johnny bets the ranch on Prilosec. And Billie hopes she has some dice and game pieces at home. A small fire (and much larger insurance claim) end things abruptly. Lots of bad things happen, but luck is transitory and makes a surprise return.
Billie Cosby: Cassi Warren
Steve: Steve
Jeff: Jeff
Johnny: Dominic Puchinski
Engineer (non-speaking part): Blake Gatto
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
Bob "Crash" Davis, the survivor of 17 plane crashes, is reported missing over Lake Michigan, and our hosts recall his interview from last season. The parrot scheduled for this episode will re-appear at a later date. Steve gets some good travel tips and is suddenly hungry for almonds. Jeff champions transportation accident equity. Johnny switches from his car to the Red Roof Inn. Steve and Jeff toast Crash and break the glasses in a small but symbolic representation of a plane crash. They are not sure who is supposed to clean up the broken glass, and the parrots are no help.
Bob "Crash" Davis - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Dennis Jamesburg
Newscaster - Felix Cattazi
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
In an attempt to be bare and balanced in their coverage of medical issues, Steve and Jeff host a highly paid medical professional, Dr. D., who by his own admission is the most important person on Earth. Pronunciation still eludes them however. Dr. D discusses his book "I Didn't Go to Medical School for my Health," and diagnoses several listeners live on air without even seeing them, just like he does in his office. Steve is happy that his mac and cheese fetish has not harmed his Impala relationship. Jeff wonders if hair plugs will stop the spread of leprosy. Johnny moonlights for the Doc, but winds up just another patient. Dr. D enjoys a donut with his cigarette.
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.
Dr. D. - David Hayden
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Shirly from Omaha - Jeff
Scott - Colton Knight
Bethany - Peaches LaSchlesse
Ellen - Betsy Crockett
Johnny - Horace McCoy
Faced with a long standing attraction that strict Fruchtians would call Oedipal, our hosts speak with an interpreter of dreams, Dr. Jolene Bishop Green, author of the airport bestseller "Not All Dreams Are Wet." Dr. Jolene talks Steve through his struggle and leads him to the obvious answer. Now Steve can't wait until Mother's Day. Steve and Jeff take a deep dive with Dr. Jolene into call-in dreams from listeners. Jeff promises to study mid-1960s General Motors car models. Miss Clare ups the ante on negotiations. Johnny takes a stand, while sitting in his car, for worker rights. Everyone gets a new copy of the Pronunciation Guide. No parrots were intentionally harmed in the production of this episode. And sometimes an Impala is just an Impala.
Dr. Jolene: Kate Wiig
Steve: Steve
Jeff: Jeff
Miss Clare: Clare
Big Baby: Santos DelMondo
Ian: Jimmy Plebe
Johnny: Wally Reuther
"Reunited" lyrics by Dino Fekaris and Freddie Perren
"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra
Still locked out by Miss Clare, our hosts break into the little studio for tonight's show. Knowing they need help, they host Nick Danger, Private Dick and Professional Negotiator, who gives them advice on how to solve their problems. Steve and Jeff show their acute negotiation skills live on the show! Steve talks about his travel experience with Big D. Jeff explains why carrying cash at the Hard Rock Cafe is important, Johnny's serenity is disturbed once again by dogs. We would say what Nick Danger did, but that would be an additional charge and we just have checks.
Nick Danger - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - John Randolph Scott
Exiled to the basement of Eccentric Ladyland Studios, Steve and Jeff soldier on by recognizing a guest from Season One who has succeeded based on her appearance on the show. Fashion influencer Chrysanthemum tells us all what we should wear, but even more importantly than that she issues Zen quotes practically on demand. Steve is pretty sure he partied with her parents. Jeff overcomes his chronic pronunciation problems. And Johnny shows that he is, minimally, sentient AI. You are probably not dressed right according to Chrysanthemum.
Chrysanthemum - Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborne.com) (Insta, TikTok, and YouTube as @nataliemosborne)
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - John Campion
In a surprise coup, the new producer Miss Clare grabs control of Eccentric Ladyland Studios and takes over the show. In the process she locks out of the studio Steve and Jeff. Her salary and other perks are currently in negotiations. As a peace offering (negotiation tactic??) Miss Clare features vintage clips from Season One, which probably blew right past most of you. Here's your chance to catch up, in the most abbreviated yet limited way. You can subscribe, you know. And if you happen to own a '65 Chevy Impala in good condition, call us.
Miss Clare - Clare
Steve's Therapist - Jess Kent
Dr. Will Rhinostein - Mark Richter
Mallory - Tracie Mauk
Steve's Mom - Nicki Sitler
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Johnny - Altruis Narcissus
Background Vocals - The ChiChis
Steve and Jeff welcome Joe Jr., son of PharmaBrute's founder, only to learn that Jr. has taken most of the family and started a new company based in natural animal-based remedies, leaving his dad with a shell of PharmaBrute. Jeff, for the first time in his life, is suddenly interested in Kathy's cosmetics. Steve considers swapping out his Placebix for Golden Retrieval but worries how his cats would feel about it. Johnny fixes it in post but discovers that once again timing is everything. Miss Clare spent the show Googling on her phone, and didn't leave Eccentric Ladyland Studios for several hours after the show ended. Joe Jr. can't wait for his next trip to Marrakech.
Joe Jr. - Eric Green
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Delmer Reeves
Steve and Jeff get serious and try to raise awareness about Juvenile Tourette's Syndrome, refusing to fall for the cheap jokes. They host a young mother and her one-year-old Daphne who suffers from the Syndrome. Daphne tests the boundaries, as kids often do. Jeff considers sending Kathy to the DMV next time. Steve takes the show to the other side, gives the show a pill, and then brings it back. Johnny discovers that Juvenile Tourette's can be contagious. Our new producer considers a telethon for Steve and Jeff, and wonders about at least one of her choices.
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Sweet Baby Daphne - Sally I. Ching
Leanne Bobert - Clare Alloy
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
In their constant effort to make money, Steve and Jeff try the lucrative and low-stress world of marriage counseling. They help Steve (or Joe) and Lori (or Mary) get to the core of their relationship. They also have a handy pivot once they get there. The happy couple leaves happier, or at least relieved, and Steve thinks about his mom's '65 Impala again. Jeff ponders a trip to Peoria.
Lori/ Mary - Kate Wiig
Joe/ Steve - Chris Wiig
Steve (not Joe) - Steve Alloy
Jeff (not his dad) - Jeff Scharf
To show they are an educational show, Steve and Jeff welcome Mr. X, an expert in conspiracies going on right around you. Mr. X drops a major reveal on plant based foods. Mr X is in constant danger, so Steve and Jeff take careful precautions to hide the fact he is Scott Brown, who lives near 40th and Dodge in Omaha. We would never reveal that!
Mr. X (Scott Brown) - Joe McBride
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
A listener, Jim from San Diego, said that Steve and Jeff took too long to get to the jokes. Since our boys are nothing if not attuned to their audience, they've brought in professional joke writer and Borsht Belt comedian Joey "Bishop" Schwartzman for a show packed with jokes. They rapid fire jokes of all types that will bring laughs and offend just about everyone. If the sponsor and Eccentric Ladyland Studios don't cancel the show, Joey's jokes will be a regular feature. Maybe Jim will like the show then, If you're easily offended or don't like blue humor, you better pour a double.
Joey "Bishop" Schwartzman - David Hayden
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
Ever wonder what the next big financial trend will be, so you can get in on it? Join Steve and Jeff as they welcome financial seer Bernice Madoff (probably no relation) who uses her psychic ability to make money. Author of a successful and highly expensive newsletter, she shares her predictions for everyone's financial future. Steve thinks she is violating the prime directive by revealing the future but he takes pages of notes. Jeff puts it all on Michigan with a really wide point spread. And you won't believe the classic companies which are part of the next big thing!
Bernice Madoff - Clare Alloy
Steve- Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
The Great Producer Crisis of 2023 ends, and not a moment too soon! Steve and Jeff welcome their new producer and attitude ensues. The celebration hits a bump but all turns out well by the end of the episode (well, you know, it had to). Jeff laments Lizzie's lunch-dinner combo seating at Old Country Buffet. Steve finds that all life is Jr High. The new producer gets a slew of fabulous prizes and is emboldened to make some rules. And not a dry eye was left at Eccentric Ladyland Studios when as we pay tribute to our former producer. It was, quite literally, the least we could do.
Ms. Clare: Clare Alloy
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
Steve and Jeff audition three lucky producer candidates in a winner take all game show to end the Great Producer Crisis of 2023. Our hosts spared no expense and brought in a studio audience and an announcer because, you know, it's a game show. Will Steve and Jeff's history of bad decisions finally end? Listen and find out!
Lizzie Bordein - Astrid Munn
Valentino - Ray Bass
Clare - Clare M. Alloy
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
Brought to you by the good people on both sides at Pharma Brute...we've got your prescription!
Diane of Big D Travel joins Steve and Jeff to talk about the money saving excitement people can have by booking trips to disaster areas. Diane talks about some of the disaster hot spots offering vacations at pennies on the dollar, Jeff packs his bags for next year's West Palm vacation, and Steve smiles at the low prices available for his long awaited trip to Mozambique. Sponsored by our friends at Smokin' US 30 Cathedral.
Big D Diane: Cassi Warren
Steve; Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
After their producer ghosted them, Steve and Jeff celebrate Halloween with well known ghost mumbler Madame Bulshetsky in an attempt to finally make contact. In a wild, live on the air session, Madame gets in touch with the ghost of Chelsea, who still has timeliness issues. Madame recounts disappeared celebrities she has helped, Jeff wheezes and regrets his Reuben sandwich, and Steve fixes it all in post.
Madame Bulshetsky - Tracie Mauk
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
In a ham-handed attempt to keep their audience engaged, Steve and Jeff (minus Jeff) tell us about spirited things to come on the program, like ghosting and cheap travel destinations. Basically a frame to present a new product from Appropriation Station, Seouls on Fire Kimchi, fermenting in the jar at a store near you. Hey, I know you've got three minutes to listen.
Steve and Jeff stick it to the man once again by welcoming Taylor Green, author of the book Suture Self, showing us all how to avoid the high cost of medical care. With Taylor is his literary agent Maxine Greene, who volunteered for a live example of low cost self-surgery. Taylor gives Jeff some valuable advice on gluing his nose, and Steve philosophizes about moving DIY not just to surgery but to everyday things like shopping checkouts. Sponsored by the Metro's premier South Asian used clothing store, Whose Sari Now (an Appropriation Station brand).
Taylor Green; Ray Bass
Maxine "Max" Green: Astrid Munn
Steve; Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
Controlling their own means of production during the Great Producer Crisis of 2023, Steve and Jeff welcome Brenda Chapman for a show on the revolution in vegan cuisine. Brenda has an epiphany to go with the revolution, Jeff lets it all out, and Steve pictures himself on a boat in the Missouri River eating veal and seitan delights. Something for everyone.
Brenda Chapman - Jess Kent
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
Steve and Jeff begin Season 2 by looking back on last year and looking forward to the great leap they will make this year! They're joined by their new producer Chelsea, who will introduce them to exciting, little known tools for success such as logos, social media, and the wild world of video!
Steve; Steve Alloy
Jeff; Jeff Scharf
Chelsea: Chelsea Coolsaet
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After an exhaustive search Steve and Jeff finally welcome Jeff's REAL dad, now known as Pastor Jerry Stargate, founder of the First Universal Church of the Milky Way Galaxy. Everyone shares in the reunion and we learn why all of us should call Jerry "dad."
Pastor Jerry Stargate - Ray Bass
Brittany May, Jerry's Lawyer - Astrid Munn
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
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Jeff's ride share passenger Joe joins the show to talk about his amazing history in major leage baseball, the mob, horse racing, revolutionary television shows, rap music, and his place as the most important person of the 20th Century. Special thanks to Tom Waits.
Joe: David Hayden
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Celebrating their first year in podcasting, Steve and Jeff shamelessly pander to their sponsors in a desperate dive for money. Hey, it worked for Congress and the Supreme Court.
Special thanks to David Hayden, Cassi Warren, Adam Brownell, Mark Richter, and Tom Lehrer.
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Steve and Jeff welcome language softening consultant Elise Partridge who shows them how to say tough things gently, and she convinces them that they have unlimited opportunities for self-improvement.
Elise Partridge: Jess Kent
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Steve and Jeff welcome fraternity brah Chadley, an amazing souce of skin care ideas, make-up tips, and deep spiritual philosophy. We discuss how to look younger and make plans for the conversion of the Brahs.
Chadley: Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborne.com) (Insta, TikTok and YouTube as @nataliemodborne)
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Tonight Steve and Jeff welcome Dr. Armand Leubethrewer, Professor of Histrionics, to discuss Macroobsessions. First, though, Steve and Jeff take meticulous care to get to the roots of the issues to discuss and maybe even channel Larry Davd. Brought to you by the Metro's finest Pho restaurant, Pho King.
Dr Leubethrewer: Seymour Glass
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Tonight Steve and Jeff respond to emails from their loyal listeners. You'll hear the happy, the angry, the soon to be indicted...we call them our core listeners! Brought to you by the Metro's premier second hand South Asian clothing botique, Whose Sari Now...a proud service of Appropriation Station Restaurants.
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
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Chlor Montemayor is back to dive into the deepest secrets of the psycho-sexual mother-son relationship. From bonobos to #boymoms Chloe tells all. Brought to you by Appripriation Station Multi-Ethnic Restaurants...we melt the melting pot beyond recognition.
Chloe: Astrid Munn
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Meet Marjorie (Don't Call Me Marge), head nurse at Payne Memorial, and see why her patients never forget her. Sponsored by Yum Kippers, the salty fish snack you can enjoy...well...almost every day of the year.
Marjorie: Terry Armstrong
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Meet hot new comic Tommy Andrews, assisted by his attorney Brittany May, as he is about to hit the big time with a Crackle special, and protects himself from bad results. "Bad results" was in air quotes.
Tommy: Ray Patterson
Brittany: Astrid Munn
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Meet Bob "Crash" Davis, the Guinness Book of World Records champion who has survived 17 plane crashes (well, 21 including Spirit). Go wheels up on what to do whne you fly the not so friendly skies.
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Join famous Insta fashion influencer Chrysanthemum Lilly Fire-Weed Not-Weed Grass as she talks about her world-wide influence and takes minimalism to the max!
Chrysanthemum: Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborne.com) (Insta, TikTok and YouTube as @nataliemodborne)
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Vegas Entertainer Dwayne Newton shows that he's ready for the big time...as soon as his shift at Kroget's ends.
Dwayne Newton/ April from Kroger's: April Brucker
http://www.aprilbrucker.tv/
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Meet Cindy Davenport, winner of a one in a million all expenses paid trip to the Super Bowl...wait, is it soup or bowl? Where's the soup? Where's the bowling shoes?
Cindy Davenport - Nicki Sitler
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
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Celebrate Valentine's Day learning about aromantic love with author and trend-setter Chloe Montemayor. This could save you the cost of dinner and gifts next year!
Chloe Montemayor: Astrid Munn
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
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Meet David Lopez, the perfect comedian for your child's birthday party if you want your child to develop into a top notch open mike blue comedian. See more of David at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EA3-ZZCRoarGRxnKEkwIqBCtqynbZtcJ/view?usp=drivesdk
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In this episode, hear an insightful and dynamic interview with success coach and author Tony Zigfield, which will leave all of us feeling motivated to do something, almost anything.
Tony Zigfield - Zbignew Ratatata
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
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No need to wonder what the weather will be like. In this episode John the Farmer shows Steve and Jeff his forecasting expertise.
John the Farmer - Cameron Gayer
Steve - Steve Alloy
Jeff - Jeff Scharf
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Happy New Year!
The Steve and Jeff Show wish to thank everyone for making 2022 our first and best year ever! And to kick off 2023, they would like to share their New Year’s resolutions for 2023, as well as some unique and strange resolutions by some of our favorite listeners.
Steve: Steve Alloy
Jeff: Jeff Scharf
Steve and Jeff bring all the interview celebrities from 2022 together for a giant Christmas/holiday party. Lots of cheer and merriment, with a couple of surprises along the way. Merry Christmas and everything else too!
In this warm, loving, surprising, and bizarre episode, Steve and Jeff bring family and friends together to reminisce about Thanksgiving’s long past at Dave and Busters. As for Steve, could there be romance in the air? Or is that the stale smell of Steve's mom and Jeff's dad?
In a controversial subject, Steve and Jeff discuss time travel with a real-lifetime traveler. They discuss how it works and shares a little bit of information about Jeff that is potentially not great news.
Steve and Jeff interview its first author, ever. In a fast-moving, nothing held back, raw, revealing, and sometimes steamy discussion, Steve and Jeff explore not only what the title of Chloe’s book means, but what was written in the book itself.
A nothing held back, raw, revealing, and sometimes steamy episode, where our ever-expanding audience, gets personal with Steve and Jeff and along the way, asks questions everyone wants answers to.
As we get close to election day, Steve and Jeff get personal with Ted, covering a far-reaching range of questions the voters want to ask.
In an interesting twist, Dr. Fields is now Jeff’s therapist, after dumping Steve for violating confidentiality rules and laws. Could love be in the air?
Steve and Jeff interview an Australian expert on Covid and the author of “Top 10 things to pay attention to, to avoid Covid and other stuff too”.
Jeff invites Jerry, at long last, to discuss what it was like to live with Jeff’s mom, raise a family, and at the same time do much of it from prison. But is it really him or his cellmate?
Steve’s mom helps us understand what makes Steve “tick” with amazing stories including a shout-out to that famous Chevy, Steve still dreams about.
Love lives, past lives, nose jobs, and more are all here in the most amazing podcast fan mail episode ever!
Steve and Jeff interview David, a top-rated Uber driver, while David is actually en route with a passenger. Talk about multitasking!
Timeshare expert Constance is back and has a new deal for Steve and Jeff, one they can’t resist, as she is offering up plots of land, with a catch.
Love and desire are on full display as Steve introduces Megan Parker, his old grade school flame to Jeff and our audience. And they said a 6th-grade love affair would never last!
Steve’s own papergirl is our guest on this week’s show, reminding us that the youth of America, or at least Omaha, is still our country’s greatest asset.
Carol Bingback, the number one board game designer in the world, talks about designing board games, new cool ideas and topics, and the process from start to finish to bring it to market. Look for our very own board game this Christmas.
It’s a nothing held back, raw, revealing, and the sometime steamy episode where Steve and Jeff’s audience tell it like it is, in their own words and voices.
Steve and Jeff hit the big time, with this first celebrity interview as they ask in-depth questions to one of the top social media guys in our industry.
Jeff and Steve invite Constance, the timeshare lady, to explain why all the negative timeshare publicity is so unfair, and she actually convinces us to buy one.
In this episode, a “live” in-person podcast from a Red Roof Inn outside Omaha, where Jeff reveals his new nose, with mixed reviews.
In the first episode since Jeff’s nose job, Steve and Jeff discuss “hot topics” like evolution, Steve’s time travels, and famous TV scientist Ross Gellar with Geneticist Doctor Goldfarb.
Steve and Jeff interview Nebraska State Senate candidate Mayfield Johnson, in a bizarre and in-depth interview you won’t see on MSNBC or Fox.
Jeff introduces Dr. Rhinostein, a plastic surgeon to the show. Dr. Will has scheduled Jeff to get a nose job, a major procedure that will change his life and possibly Jennifer Anniston’s as well..
Steve’s therapist and his shocking “Reveal”.In our first-ever podcast episode, Steve introduces his own personal therapist, and surprises all of us, including Dr. Fields, with an intimate look into one of his sessions.