You Have What It Takes: Recent Episodes
Jill Ng
God chose you to be a foster or adoptive parent to these kids in your care for days, months or years. You are the one who gets to show them how valuable they are; how deeply they are loved. This podcast is a gift for you in response to your courage to love those who may never love you back. My hope is to remind you: you aren’t alone, but with God by your side - You Have What It Takes.
Today on the podcast, we are talking the final lie: No One Really Loves me. Listen to learn why inside jokes, matching shirts, and sharing memories help fight this lie. This lie is rooted in our kids not feeling like they belong or are important enough to be loved. We will discuss what this look likes in children, ways to tackle this lie & the truth they need to hear. Be sure to check out the Non Reciprocal Love printable to support you in fighting this lie in the kids you love at www.theEvermoreCollective.com/resources/#printables .
In this Mindfulness Moment, we will process what we discussed in Episode 10 with Josh Shipp's book for kids called No Matter What: A Foster Care Tale. Join a squirrel named Josh an adventure to find loving adults who are willing to be sturdy and secure in their love and commitment to him.
When kids have had adults exit their lives unexpectedly, especially adults they are connected or bonded to, this can be very traumatic. The Lie that is built into these children's thought processes include Everyone Will Reject Me. Regardless of how safe and secure their situation is, they often feel the need to quit others to protect themselves from rejection or being abandoned again. In this episode we will discuss the many behaviors associated with kids who struggle with trust and a fear of rejection as well as strategies and resources to support you in loving kids who believe this lie. Check out the free resource to accompany this week's podcast called Staying and the mini episode Mindfulness Moment: No Matter What.
This week, we are talking about the deep rooted lie that kids often believe when they were treated poorly, abused or rejected. This lie - No One Cares About Me - is something we all struggle with, so the truth that God values our kids shapes how we see them. The episode covers facts, root causes, behaviors, strategies on how to combat the lie & resources to support you.
In this Mindfulness Moment, I will be reading snipits from the book: How To Hug A Porcupine that relate to the themes from Episode 8 where we combatted the lie #3: I Need To Take Care Of Myself.
This Lie that kids believe is based on the idea that no one cares about the child's emotional or relational needs. In order to combat this Lie, we can show we care by understanding the lie and behaviors, modeling how to give consent, building attachment and developing awareness of feelings. Follow this episode with the accompanying Mindfulness Moment: How To Love A Porcupine.
This is Ep 07 and the Lie we are combating this week is I Have To Provide For Myself. When they did not have what they needed, kids who struggle with this lie learned they need to worry about adult sized worries. We will discuss what this lie is rooted in, behaviors that stem from this lie, how to combat it with truth, and practical ideas on how to support kids with these lies. Head to my Resource page for the free printables: I Have What I Need Checklist, Worries Cards & Endless Snack Ideas.
During this Mindfulness Moment, we will practice a grounding activity called 5 Senses & read the book Right Now, I Am Fine by Dr. Daniela Owen. This was created to accompany Ep 06: Lie # 1 - Something Bad Will Happen
Kids from Trauma often believe lies and have fears associated with what will happen. In this episode we are unpacking the Lie: Something Bad Will Happen. This lie is hard to fight because we do know that more bad things actually will happen to our kids. But, they do not constantly need to be worried about bad things happening. They need to know we are with them to believe, support & help them when they do. It is true: bad things will happen, but how they are handled will be much different. We will talk about where this lie originates, what it looks like in the behavior of a child, which truths we should focus on to combat this lie, and ways to support kids who worry about things happening frequently. Before you jump in, be sure you have already listened to Ep 05: Fighting The Lies. This preview to this series will help you understand what we are talking about and the philosophy behind this approach. Also available today is the Mindfulness Moment: Right Now, I Am Fine that was created to accompany this episode. This includes a grounding exercise & I will read the book with the same name: Right Now, I Am Fine. May you stand beside your child to show: you will stay when bad things happen. As they learn you will believe, support, and help them work through various issues, may they see your great love and accept the truth that God is always with them.
In this Mindfulness Moment I will be reading and reflecting a bit on the book written by Adoptive Mom, Ali Redford called The Boy Who Built A Wall Around Himself. Check out her book on my Resources page at theEvermoreCollective.com
This episode is all about the fact that kids believe lies because of what has happened to them in their lives. We will briefly review the 6 lies many kids from trauma backgrounds tend to believe that we will be spending the next six weeks talking about. Then, we will discuss how to invite kids into participating in the fight, how to join them and the value of inviting others to join you. Be sure to also listen to the bonus episode, a Mindfulness Moment: The Boy Who Built A Wall Around Himself.
In this Mindfulness Moment, we will practice choosing to let go and allow God to take responsibility for our worries - especially our kids. So, find a comfy place to sit back or lay down and process what we just discussed through this exercise. This bonus episode was created to accompany Episode 04: Created For This.
You were created for this: to love the children in your care. Yet, God chose you knowing He would walk alongside you in the journey. We will talk about the ways God loves to surprise us, how to embrace the way we were uniquely chosen to love the kids in our care & how we can let go and allow Him to be responsible for them. Download a free printable to go along with this episode at www.theEvermoreCollective.com/blog/createdforthis and be sure to follow up with the Mindfulness Moment: Letting Go.
Walking alongside biological families of the kids in your care allows you to bond, connect with, and relate to your child during the transition into foster care and decades after they are adopted. There is great value in taking advantage of the interactions you have with their families & showing the child you love them by caring about those related to them. In this episode we unpack respecting biological parents & practical ways to show your child you care about where they came from.
Knowing the children that God brought into your life biologically verses the way you get to know kids entering your home after years of lived experiences can be very different. We will discuss how to help children feel safe, what you can learn from what they say & behaviors. After you listen to this episode, be sure to follow up with the Mindfulness Moment: I See You.
This bonus episode was made to accompany Ep 02: Knowing Your Kid. In this mindfulness moment, we work through the free resource: I See You Profile together & think through what you already know about this child you love. I will also offer strategies on ways to get the missing info you need to love your child well. Free Printable available at www.theEvermoreCollective.com/resources
In this episode you will learn all about me, my husband Ben, & how we met. I will share how we built our family through foster care & adoption and ended up as seven Ngs or The SeveNgs.
In this trailer, I will share why I decided to start a podcast, my vision & why it is named You Have What It Takes. So grab a cup of coffee, a comfy spot on the couch, and let's hang out and get to know my heart for our time together.