Cousins by Bravo: Recent Episodes
Joey & Lauren
Join cousins, best friends, and Bravoholics Joey and Lauren as they celebrate and (lovingly) critique The Real Housewives like only family can.
In a special solo edition, Joey dons his Professor cap and gives his highly credentialed and meticulously researched assessment of how our Bravo shows are currently faring.
Subscribe, rate, and review! Give us 5 stars and Joey'll give you a gold one!
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Follow The Cousins on Instagram: @cousinsbybravo
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
In the UK/Europe: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus. Artwork by Jason Hart. Produced and edited by Joey Vallese.
The Vanderpump Rules premiere is finally here! Joey and Lauren go, er, deep on the hilarious text heard round the world in an otherwise so-so episode (womp womp). Over in Beverly Hills, the Cousins also dissect the many miles of grace Garcelle has given Dorit over the years, Erika's intoxicated tour-de-force, and our patron saint of technicolored chaos: Real Housewives of Miami.
Subscribe, rate, and review! Give us 5 stars and we'll light a candle in your name.
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Follow The Cousins on Instagram: @cousinsbybravo
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
In the UK/Europe: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus. Artwork by Jason Hart. Produced and edited by Joey Vallese.
The moment you've all been waiting for: Joey and Lauren finally give their two cents about the ruuuuuuumuuuhhhs and the nastiness of that Salt Lake City finale and reunion. They also do a whirlwind deep dive on Beverly Hills, Miami, RHONY Legacy Ultimate Girls Trip, whilst mostly ignoring the travesty that is this current season of Potomac.
Follow The Cousins on Instagram: @cousinsbybravo
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
In the UK/Europe: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus. Artwork by Jason Hart. Produced and edited by Joey Vallese.
Risottos, it's been a minute! Joey and Lauren have a much-needed catch-up sesh that runs the gamut from Dorit and PK's obvious Xmas-gifts-grifts, to Angie K's AI-generated face, to Adriana's white-flag fail.
Follow them on insta @cousinsbybravo
The Cousins are back for Season 2, Risottos!
Join them for a totally normal conversation that will PARALYZE you.
Follow them on Insta: @cousinsbybravo
Episode 14: Join Joey for a solo jaunt breaking down the latest Housewives headlines (Nene willing to return to Atlanta "for the fans"? Kim and Kroy calling off their divorce? Kyle and Mauricio splitting because Kyle is in a relationship with a female country singer with neck tatts?!) and singing the praises of the delightfully vapid new season of #RHOC (IMDb shade and dick pics, oh my!).
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
If you're in the UK: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus. Artwork by Jason Hart. Produced and edited by Joey Vallese.
Episode 13: Joey and Lauren discuss the return of the OG MVP of the OC Tamra Judge, the many slow-moving crashes that make up this season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and the shared hallucination known as #AndJustLikeThat.
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
If you're in the UK: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus. Artwork by Jason Hart. Produced and edited by Joey Vallese.
Episode 12: We're back, risottos, with a very deep (but occasionally shallow) dive of both the #VanderpumpRules and #RHONJ reunions. Spoiler alert: we're friggin' exhausted.
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
If you're in the UK: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus. Artwork by Jason Hart. Produced and edited by Joey Vallese
Much like the "principals" of the #Scandoval, namely Raquel/Rachel and Tom the Scab #Scandoval, Joey and Lauren were positively delusional to think they'd be able to fit in a new episode before Joey flees the country for the UK release of It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections On Horror (see link below to buy a copy! Happy Pride!). So while they try to get their stories straight and have their timelines match up, please enjoy a few minutes of Joey rambling about a recent top tier Housewife spotting as well his musings on how the new #RHONY could actually be pretty great (?).
See you in 2-ish weeks for a recap of the full #VPR and #RHONJ reunions! Love you, risottos!
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Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
If you're in the UK: https://saraband.net/sb-title/it-came-from-the-closet/
Original music by Fred Nicolaus
Artwork by Jason Hart
Produced and edited by Joey Vallese
Episode 11: The Vanderpump Rules season finale is finally here. And we're SHOOK.
We also talk the explosive, but often unintelligible, season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey (beginning at 1:05).
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PAY ATTENTION PUH-LEASE!
Rate, review, subscribe, spread the word.
Follow us on Instagram @cousinsbybravo
Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
Original music by Fred Nicolaus
Artwork by Jason Hart
Produced and edited by Joey Vallese
Episode 10: The Cousins have very New Jersey reactions to Vanderpump Rules' very LA drama, Joey ponders if Luis is high on something other than enlightenment as he sinks into the pillow quicksand that is his and Tre's marriage bed, and Lauren, like Kandi, doesn't know who Courtney is on Atlanta and probably won't all season.
Follow us on Insta @cousinsbybravo
PAY ATTENTION PUHLEASE: Subscribe, rate, and review!
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Buy Joey's book, LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
Original music by Fred Nicolaus
Artwork by Jason Hart
Produced and edited by Joey Vallese
Episode 9: Lauren is still high from a three-course cannabis infusion dinner, Joey is still too afraid of Tabatha Coffey to scream out his car window that he loves her, and neither holds back in their deep-seated, but very recent, hatred of Tom Sandoval and the second runner up in the Little Miss Ranch pageant.
Follow us on Insta: @cousinsbybravo
Subscribe, rate, review, and spread the word pleeeeeeeeease and thank you!
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Buy Joey's book IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)!
Want to experience the cannabis infusion dinner Lauren attended? Go to https://www.greenhausboutique.com/ for more info!
- Joey finally accepts the Scandoval Challenge and takes the pluge into chaos and vapidity, Lauren vividly recounts an imaginary phone call between Tre and Luis, and the Cousins trace where it all went wrong for Danielle Cabral.
Also: apologies for the occasional ghostly reverb on Joey's voice, but the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Follow us on Instagram @cousinsbybravo! Subscribe, rate, review, and spread the word so we can grow that post of risotto real nice!
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Buy Joey's book IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet) and follow on Insta (@it_came_from_the_closet) and Twitter (@homohorror)
- The Cousins are back! On this week's episode they: discuss (nee, celebrate) the end of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Season 3; ponder how New Jersey can move forward (spoiler alert: by getting rid of everyone who has or once had the last name Gorga); and both Lauren and Joey have timely Bravolebrity sightings (though only Lauren has both a sighting and a sniffing).
Follow us on Instagram @cousinsbybravo
Rate, review, subscribe, and spread the word!
Buy Joey's book, the LA Times Bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet)! Twitter: @homohorror Instagram: @it_came_from_the_closet
We're technically off this weekend buuuuuut, as per usual, there's simply too much Bravo news and nonsense to keep up with, so Joey is here solo to share some notes and nopes.
@cousinsbybravo on Instagram and Twitter
- Lauren discovers the wonders of sensory deprivation tanks, Joey is once again Team Nobody but Dolores, and the Cousins try, with limited success, to piece together the timelines of the Whitney/Heather/Lisa/Jizz for Jazz and Nonno's Pizza Oven controveries, respectively.
Follow us on Instagram @cousinsbybravo! Subscribe, rate, review and spread the word!
Buy Joey's book, the LA Times bestseller IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR (Twitter: @homohorror Instagram: @it_came_from_the_closet)! https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet
If you'd like to be deprived of your senses, check out @vesselfloats in Greenpoint, Brooklyn: https://www.vesselfloats.com/
We're back, bro.
The Cousins make up for lost time by talking Real Housewives of New Jersey, the Real Housewives of Miami Reunion, and the first three episodes of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Season 3.
Please subscribe, rate, and review! Find us @cousinsbybravo on Instagram and Twitter
Episode 4: There's a poltergeist in Joey's pipes, Lauren nearly chokes on the explosive Vanderpump Rules drama, and both are horrified by Peter crashing Alexia and Todd's honeymoon.
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @cousinsbybravo
Subscribe, rate, review, please and thank you.
Buy Joey's book IT CAME FROM THE CLOSET: QUEER REFLECTIONS ON HORROR! https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet
Episode 3: Joey embarrasses himself in a professional setting, Lauren loves Lea Black, and both wonder what the hell everyone's problem is this week. @cousinsbybravo
Also: subscribe, rate and review!
Also, also: check out It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror, edited by Joey! https://www.feministpress.org/books-a-m/it-came-from-the-closet
Twitter: @homohorror
Instagram: @it_came_from_the_closet
Episode 2: Lauren recounts a recent Bravoleb sighting/religious vision, Joey still wants Justice for Jackie, and neither can think of a single person they know who calls mozzarella "moots." @cousinsbybravo on Twitter and Instagram
In their debut episode, the Cousins go deep (and get silly) on the Season 13 premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Miami.
@cousinsbybravo on Twitter and Instagram
Join cousins, best friends, and Bravoholics Joey and Lauren as they celebrate and (lovingly critique) The Real Housewives like only family can. New episodes beginning the week of February 12. Listen to the exclusive trailer now!
Instagram @cousinsbybravo
Music by Fred Nicolaus
Artwork by Jason Hart