STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR SON: Recent Episodes
Natalia Schneidmiller
...AND HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP! End all fighting with your son today: go to these episodes first: 54-58! After you reconnect with your boy you can listen to other episodes to help you be more confident, love yourself more and improve other relationships.
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stopmanipulating #stopscreaming #stoppeoplepleasing #ajahnbrahm #byronkatie #brookecastillo #abraham #louisehay #esterhicks
#momsonlife #raisingboys #parenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #son #kids #raisingkids #parent #raisingmen #love #bestparenting #mom #mother #mothersonquotes, #motherson #teenmom #theydontneedme #momlife #angrymom #podcast #relationships #stopnagging #workingmom #struggling #momof4 #momofboys #momoftwins #familyof6 #hockeymo #soccermom #wholefoodsmom #calgarymom #stopyelling #canadianmom #russianom #stopnagging #teenmom #parentingcoach #selflove #stopcontrolling
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If you are not careful you might get what you asked for but not exactly what you want. Listen to what happened recently and what i have learned. TO be more specific.
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stopmanipulating #stopscreaming #stoppeoplepleasing #ajahnbrahm #byronkatie #brookecastillo #abraham #louisehay #esterhicks
#momsonlife #raisingboys #parenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #son #kids #raisingkids #parent #raisingmen #love #bestparenting #mom #mother #mothersonquotes, #motherson #teenmom #theydontneedme #momlife #angrymom #podcast #relationships #stopnagging #workingmom #struggling #momof4 #momofboys #momoftwins #familyof6 #hockeymo #soccermom #wholefoodsmom #calgarymom #stopyelling #canadianmom #russianom #stopnagging #teenmom #parentingcoach #selflove #stopcontrolling
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What do you wish you were good? And have you accepted it or are you judging yourself for it?
I have just accepted one of my weaknesses and i wish i had been aware of it earlier, so that i can accept it sooner.
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stopmanipulating #stopscreaming #stoppeoplepleasing #ajahnbrahm #byronkatie #brookecastillo #abraham #louisehay #esterhicks
#momsonlife #raisingboys #parenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #son #kids #raisingkids #parent #raisingmen #love #bestparenting #mom #mother #mothersonquotes, #motherson #teenmom #theydontneedme #momlife #angrymom #podcast #relationships #stopnagging #workingmom #struggling #momof4 #momofboys #momoftwins #familyof6 #hockeymo #soccermom #wholefoodsmom #calgarymom #stopyelling #canadianmom #russianom #stopnagging #teenmom #parentingcoach #selflove #stopcontrolling
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Are you depending on him to be happy? Listen to this episode to see how to approach this and how to live with it and learn from it.
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stopmanipulating #stopscreaming #stoppeoplepleasing #ajahnbrahm #byronkatie #brookecastillo #abraham #louisehay #esterhicks
#momsonlife #raisingboys #parenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #son #kids #raisingkids #parent #raisingmen #love #bestparenting #mom #mother #mothersonquotes, #motherson #teenmom #theydontneedme #momlife #angrymom #podcast #relationships #stopnagging #workingmom #struggling #momof4 #momofboys #momoftwins #familyof6 #hockeymo #soccermom #wholefoodsmom #calgarymom #stopyelling #canadianmom #russianom #stopnagging #teenmom #parentingcoach #selflove #stopcontrolling
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However you want to show up for our kids there is one important factor you must include in order to be successful at it.
Listen to hear what's missing from this equetion.
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stopmanipulating #stopscreaming #stoppeoplepleasing #ajahnbrahm #byronkatie #brookecastillo #abraham #louisehay #esterhicks
#momsonlife #raisingboys #parenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #son #kids #raisingkids #parent #raisingmen #love #bestparenting #mom #mother #mothersonquotes, #motherson #teenmom #theydontneedme #momlife #angrymom #podcast #relationships #stopnagging #workingmom #struggling #momof4 #momofboys #momoftwins #familyof6 #hockeymo #soccermom #wholefoodsmom #calgarymom #stopyelling #canadianmom #russianom #stopnagging #teenmom #parentingcoach #selflove #stopcontrolling
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Another question that can cause us a lot of pain is this one. Mainly because we want them to be different, to do it right, to do it my way, the right way.
I share the lessons that i've learned from Brooke Castillo and Byron Katie on how to deal with other people.
However you deal with this the goal is to feel good about them. So whether it is through acceptinig them and their faults or by realizing they have no faults the goal is always the same, to feel good about them.
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In this episode I have one strong message for you and it is my mission to keep on delivering it to you in all the different forms as i can. If you find this helpful please share this with others and give me a review so that others can find this podcast.
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Are you finding your job hard? being a mom hard? parenting hard? anything else hard? then listen to this. of course as usual i share my own example of making things hard and easy. Do this exact process to make things easier for yourself
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If you have switched jobs or projects and you keep thinking you are not doing enough then this episode is for you. The truth is it doesn't matter which job or project you are doing the 'not enough' mindset comes with you to every job you do. So listen up.
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Stop nagging, fighting, controling, helicopter parenting and generally freaking out by doing this technique i suggest. Of course i always bring you my own example of how i do it. do it with me.
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If you compare yourself to other people and feel bad, listen to this. This will help.
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If you are looking forward to that coffee or lunch with a friend but don't get a chance to do it, here is what i recommend. Incorporate this into your life and be one step closer to connecting with yourself and better taking care of yourself.
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Stress equals meaning equals happiness
The more stress the happier the person.
Stress is highly correlated with a greater sense of meaning in life.
When twins were little I wanted the challenge to take care of them at night, felt like I belonged with them and felt happier being with them even thought it was more challenging.
How is that true in your life?
What strsss do you want to include and why? Why would. You rather do it and be stressed than NOT do it and be not stressed.\
Choosing to be a stay at home mom even thought it is super challenging and stressful. But super meaningful to me and I would rather be here stressed out than in some office cubicle doing something that has zero meaning to me.
This podcast has a lot of meaning to ME even thought it is stressful to put myself out there share my stories, doubt myself, question myself and feel vulnerable, but I would rather do it than not BECAUSE It means a lot to me to know that this will be helpful to at least one other person out there bozo I know how helpful it was to me when I listed to a podcast or read a blog./
Dinners realiziing I would rather scramble and do last minute adjustments and cook 3,4 different options for the kids that order in or do fast food. I would rather be stressed out over picky eaters and being bad at this and how hard this cooking job is than pick up fast food. I choose this stress over the other stress of feeding them less nutritious meals but seemingly less work and less stress in making the meal.
Ha I would actually be rather doing that than this! Hah I didn’t realize I was choosing it.
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"I learned a lot about myself" by goinig through this experiency, any experience is only step 1. Step 2 is your reaction to it. What is your reaction to what you learned? Love? acceptance? Denial? Judgement? Laughter?
Awareness is always the first step too learning, and after learning we can either accept ourselves or turn out back on ourselves. listen to my examples of what i have learned and noticed in my reactions.
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All moms need to practice this when it feels really hard, bad, shameful, painful. Give yourself encouragement for the obvious things, simple things, bare minimum things we are doing to be able to power through our worst moments.
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Painful comparisons. I talk about how I walked myself through this and the answers that are available to all of us. I expose the biggest lie that causes our pain and how to deal with it.
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This one takeaway will help all of us to life a happier, better, more efficient life.
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Tired of fighting? Book your free coaching consultation and discover how to turn conflict into connection within your family.
Reconnect with Your Son,Sign up for a Free Consultation
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Tired of fighting? Book your free coaching consultation and discover how to turn conflict into connection within your family.
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It’s understandable . Take time to feel it, cry if you need to.
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Whats h works case scenario? And is it likely to happen? Have you done everything to prevent it from happening? Yes then comforted.
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Once we took time to process it and comfort our fears we can take a step back and remember that our feelings come from our thoughts. Our thoughts of worst case scenarios . NOT your action of leaving baby or baby staying with someone else.
So if our thoughts are
I can be making a Mistake.
I am a bad mom.
I shouldn’t be leaving my daughter.
They are just sentences in our head: Words we think that are made up and not the truth . Then we can realize we can pick any thought like
This makes me a good mom.
This is exactly what my daughter needs
I should be leaving my daughter because of this and this.
I am doing the right thing.
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This has made a huge difference for me and deserves a whole episode. When planning your week, day, to do list - YOUR BREAK should be the first to go in.
Listen to my story of learning that over and over again.
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Feeling rejected as a grown up? listen to this to learn what it actually is, how to deal with it and how to fully process it. And of course my personal story of rejection. it's a good one.
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I was avoiding my kids being upset and it fired back, taught me a lesson and now i am here to share it with you.
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How long do you feel guilty and beat yourself up after a fight? in this episode I try to sell you on the idea that you should strive to drop the fight sooner in your head.
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You get to be pissed off.
You get to be angry.
You are not alone.
You are angry. Welcome too being a mom.
Part of this job includes being angry. Every mom gets angry. There is NOTHING wrong with you . You GET to be angry.
Be angry and get over it. Move on.
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Letting go is a skill and you can practice it in so many different ways, with your kids. I share my examples of where i let go with my kids in this episode.
Letting go can also be applied with husbands, siblings, parents, friends. Listen and think of how this applies to you.
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Perfectionism. Black and white thinking.
Find the grey area. You always win!
Being present in the moment - I simply won’t do it. Give up before begin. Don’t do it. Don’t notice all the grey area that is happening.
Food with the kids - if is not the perfect combo of nutrition it is a fail. Frustrated, controlling, upset, not enjoying myself, fighting.
My weight if it is not a perfect weight I feel like it’s a failure and miss the 99 % successes. Not giving any credit to all the times I take good care of myself by going to bed early, drinking, water, not eating sweets, eating salads, exercising, - missing out on all the goodness and feeling bad about myself for the2% that are missing the mark.
Find the grey area. You always win !
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How you talk to yourself is how you talk to others.
So start with yourself. Today. when you have a nasty thought, decide on your answerYou have to start talking back to yourself when you say these nasty things to yourself.
"I am doing my best" is what i said back to myself and i am so very proud of that huge success.
Sharing this example with you is a way I can encourage you too do the same.
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Then you should imminently.
In this episode i share the biggest benefit i have received from creating a podcast and all the side benefits.
You will learn what skill is required to create each episode.
The beliefs that go into creating my podcast and why i do it.
You will learn why I started creating this podcast.
The Life Coach School Podcast is the podcast that changed my life forever, thanks to Brooke Castillo, i will forever be greateful too her. You should for sure check it out.
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When you shop you are trying on clothes and if they don't fit you don't buy them.
do the same at home - if they don't work for your body - good bye.
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A great way to think about anything, especially about food.
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"I have to feel like it to work out"
"I should enjoy being with my kids to be a good mom"
"I should always love my husband"
"I should always want to go on a girls trip with my friends"
etc.
You get the point, expecting to feel a certain perfect way to do something or to be someone. Stop it.
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Teaching my boys to think about one another and at the same time learning from them. Merry Christmas everyone!
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From pissed off and fighting to focused, calm, certain and understanding, all in one sentence, one thought, one powerful shift that is all here for you.
From fighting and being mean to connecting, loving, guiding and supportive.
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This little episode is a reminder of how we always have a choice in how we react. I reacted well in my opinion in this situation but i don't always do that. Simply remembering that I CAN react this way is going to help you and feel GOOD. = Happiness.
The two books by Ajahn Brahm i mentioned here are these:
Who ordered a truckload of dung? and
Don't Worry, Be Grumpy: Inspiring Stories for Making the Most of Each Moment
Enjoy these books! great for bigger kids too.
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Watch me here on youtube! What I learned from Cesar Millan.
That my energy matters when I’m with the boys. If I am indicisive they will feel it and be anxious if I have not given them direction or expectations.
I am their leader. Bad one, so so one, tired one, whatever one but I am still their leader so oi can step up to the task and just decide either way - It doesn’t matter what I decide, I just have to decide to lead.
Exercise first then everything else. Cesar teaches: exercise discipline affection.
He teaches that is the best way to take care of a dog is meet their needs. Those are their needs. But exercise first. So they are not anxious bored, pent up energy.
Well the exact same thing applies to us and how do I expect myself to feel good if I have not exercised.
Discipline - lovingly set boundaries.
Affection only afterwards those two.
Walking is exercise for the dog and the man. Confirmed my love for walking , mental benefits and physical.
The front of the pack, middle of the pack and back of the pack.
Front are leaders, aggressive, alpha males. Middle of the pack are happy go lucky energy, want to help and make everyone happy energy, happy to follow.
Back of the pack are a more sensitive bunch, scanning for danger, a little paranoid , not happy go lucky. They are the packs emergency alarm system. Everyone has its job.
If the back of the pack has no leader their anxiety goes through the roof as they are scanning for danger and leading is not their strongest skill., hit makes them more anxious.
So knowing which part of the pack you belong tooo and your kids will help you accommodate them better.
For me I feel I am def more the back of the pack, more sensitive, more anxious, more alert and scanning for danger - but knowing this I am the adult and ii I can take charge of leading myself and my pack. Talking to myself, comforting, giving myself safety and care and direction that I need.
The same goes for the kids - some of he kids I know are back of the pack , generalizing here- so they need strong leadership, decisions made, no flailing, - also leading to othe3rs addressing their questions, worries, needs.
Being back of the pack - I would be overwhelmed by the amount of questions requests, people taking to me - and being overwhelmed and it kept coming would feel unsafe, threatened and bite back - feel attacked and feel aggressive back towards the kids.
I would not make decisions, I would run away from them, be mad at the kids for putting me ini this position . This would make things. Worse. Other kids would step up and be leaders, better leaders Than I am. Sometimes the sensitive kid would step up and be the leader and not a good one. Not fair one. Not kinds.
Learning from my husband and middle child I have seen the calm and kind leadership and have been following my husbands lead with pleasure.
When he is around we all happily follow, he is calm, decisive, kind and an unquestionable alpha leader in our 6 person pack.
We respectfully put requests up to him, ask him for advice. Being the wife of a leader def has its privileges- as he wants to make the wife happy. Too I simply ask for what ii want.
But seeing the diff between the e
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Say hi to me to youtube!
I needed more 'fun' in my life and i made a list that i find fun in my life and it blew me away because the things that are fun are completetly independent of the things that i am doing. It is all about what lens i put on when i'm doing them:
- giving
- problem solving
- being efficient
- creative
- social
If I am focusing on one of the above i am feelinig these:
- satisfaction
- achievement
- caring about myself
- abundant
- not rushed
- free
-fun
-interested
- excited
-present
Having the FUN is a skill and needs to be practiced.
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Feeling shitty no matter how much you are doing.
No matter how much I do it’s not enough
To stop not noticing all the things you are doing.
It’s never ending.
I do one things and 10 more get added to my list.
Focusing better.
Feeling better.
Instead of saying fav part of the day and worst part of the day, Say your 3 favourite things
Focusing on all the things you have not done = feeling bad.
Intentional focusing - intentionally zooming IN on the specific things
Why to feel better
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Understanding why you are angry will help you and this is how you do it. You ask yourself this one question, approach it form this angle to understand why you are angry.
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If you think you are the only one with this one big, bad problem, whatever it is then this episode is for you.
When you are believing you are the only one who yells at kids, drinks too much, eats too much or shops too much then you are shaming yourself and that just blocks any access to that problem and to yourself.
First you have to tell yourself the truth that you are not the only one and really believe it and then really understand that it is OKAY to do that or be that person. From that allowing yourself to be that person you will have a way better chance of taking care of yourself and therefore eliminating that behaviour you don't want.
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Hear my example of how my experience was changed based on one new piece of information / thought/ sentence and changed my whole experience. Apply this to all your relationships and you will skip the fighting.
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If you are stuck worrying about a problem this is for you! listen up. You can also watch me here in my office recording this episode.
Asking yourself these 2 questions and a bonus question that naturally appears after you answer the first 2 will help you tremendously!
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Watch this episode on youtube!
I was people pleasing my son, wait, no, i was lying to my son and here is what happened.
If you are people pleasing others and they are STILL not happy then listen to this.
Stop pleasing them by telling then lies.
Start telling yourself the truth and start telling them the truth and take the responsibility to make them happy off of your shoulders.
We do this unconsciously sometimes but there is always a time when we wake up, stop and move on.
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Watch this episode here! If you are suffering because of what other people are doing or not doing then this episode is for you. You will learn what causes the suffering, you will listen to 3 examples of arbitrary rules that I had in my life that caused me some suffering and it will give you a chance to ask yourself about what arbitrary rules you are applying in your life.
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Yay, come watch this episode on youtube! Boredom and nothingness is a perfect ground to want things from. What you want matters a lot and you need to stop Doubting it and starting paying attention to it.
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Come watch this episode here!
If you are feeling sorry for yourself and forgot why you ever wanted kids or be married or this job - do this exercise and change your mind and your feeling deliberately. Remind yourself of all the reasons why you wanted it in the first place.
This exercise was inspired by Abraham, from this book.
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Yay, exciting news - you can now watch this podcast on youtube!
1. Walk
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Do my make up and hair, dress in something cute and you feel pretty in.
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Get coached/Vent to a friend/ coach/ paper. Vent and it will help you process your feelings and gain new perspective. Write it all down, get it out of your head.
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Clean your kitchen/living room
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DO NOTHING FIRST. do that first and then do jobs.
watch a show, read, sleep, do nothing productive. -
Listen to Abraham and Louise Hay.
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Have a nice coffee, your fav food.
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Accomplish 1 or 2 things.
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Make a list of all the things you have done today, including getting dressed, taking care of the kids, lunches, breakfast, walk, calling husband, rest, etc. Include as many small things as possible and cross them off as you do them. It feels incredibly good to write them all down and for your brain to see that you are being productive EVEN when you are struggling. That makes you feel better.
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Giving yourself PERMISSION to do NOTHING. IF yo do nothing and feel guilty or ashamed when that doesn't help. SO practice doing nothing and feeling good doing it. And by the time you are done doing nothing you will WANT to get some stuff done.
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SHOWER EARLY in the evening or late afternoon.
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Comfy, warm, soft clothing. NO BRA. After the early shower.
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Warm tea - strategically placed after dinner will comfort you.
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Do something NICE and Extra for someone, anyone, even your future self. BUT only after you have done all those other things first and if you feel you have the capacity.
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Give yourself permission to be a less than good mom today (good= perfect). Be average. Be a bad mom today and it's okay. It's ok that i'm ____ today.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
What must they be thinking wearing long pants and being fully covered on a hot day! Absurd I can’t understand what they must be thinking.
Dirty floors.
Tight clothing when obese.
One sentence
It’s fine.
There’s always one phrase, one sentence behind the thing. What is it? And if it’s always a sentence behind anything then it’s easy to change.
I don’t want to. >> I want to get my heart rate up. Now.
It’s fine/ ugh, another mess. It’ll take too long. >> I like it tidy. It only takes a second.
They won’t like it.>> I can do it.
They have to eat this >> it’s no big deal if they don’t.
Relationships >>> what an idiot. >>> I wonder what he is thinking to do that.
What should we do >> it doesn’t matter as long we are outside it’ll be fun.
THERES ALWAYS ONY ONE SENTENCE THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM AND YOU.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Do not let perfectionism blind you from seeing that it actually worked. You actually did the thing, you made the turn or you are succeeding with the kids with the food, whatever it is. It made me laugh so hard to realize that I would’ve written it off as a total fail and my son pointed it out as a success, I turned and gained speed. So funny how our mind can play tricks on us.
Where do we do this in our life? My body seeing only the fat on the stomach and ignoring my beautiful face, hair, the fact that I am actually not 300 pounds.
Time - seeing only what I don’t have Time too do and being completely blind to the fact that I have the time to spend with all of my family and run a business and raise 4 boys.
What are you discounting as not working because it is not perfect? What is actually working in your life but you are not satisfied with it just because it is not perfect in your mind as it should be.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are still friends with that person from 25 years ago and you ask yourself why everytime you see them and you dread seeing them this episode is for you.
I share one way of approaching relationships and how having this perspective can release any guilt you have if you want to never see them again.
This episode will have to ask questions about your relationships and whether you want to end the relationship or not. You will also learn a perspective on relationships that will help you grow as a person.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are ready to blow your brains out if you have to do another mundane, boring tasks then this episode is for you. You can still do the task but with this change in mindset you will feel more focused, revived and may be even enjoy doing it.
You will learn three different mindsets and different feelings they produce.
You will learn that you always have a choice in what mindset you choose when it comes to the same mundane task
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Anticipating transitions,
Anticipating what you will need
Anticipating and taking great care of your future self as. JOB
Socks in the mud room
Order in night
Allergy pills in the car
Extra set of pants to avoid lack of clean clothes
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Here is an example of ONE way to generate compassion and understanding for yourself when you mess up. If you can do this for yourself you will stop causing fights and you will also have more compassion for your son when he messes up.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Hi I'm Natalia Schneidmiller and I help boy moms have a better relationship with their sons and themselves by teaching them the tools to manage their mind so they can handle anything that comes up in life.
Trust by example.
If I can trust myself to ___ then I can trust them to ___ .
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
It takes 90 seconds to process any emotion. Here is the link to the article. Listen to the episode to find out how you can you this information to your advantage.
According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it. When you’re stressed, pausing ninety seconds and labeling what you’re feeling (eg., I’m getting angry), tamps down activity in the amygdala.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I find it hard to parent when I’m tired
I can’t do it. But I must.
The truth is you can do it and you do do it. But telling yourself you can’t creates resentment and frustration.
How about you tell yourself the truth. I don’t want to do it but I definitely CAN do it.
Do I have to? Well that is debeatiiable I thin I have to but the truth is I don’t .
When you tell yourself what’s actually true then you feel empowered by your choice. You are making a choice. Just like going to the gym. Don’t want to but I can do it. And I’m proud of myself for doing it.
Creates respect for yourself and there’s no resentment there’s a goal a focus, a reason why you are doing it. Even if you are tired.
I am more at peace with myself. I feel more in control of my life. And I feel like I can do anything if I can parent when I’m tired. I’m a good mom.
HOW can I take care of mYSELF AND my kids at the same time when I’m tired ? Now that is a very useful question.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Pick a situation or 2 where you feel comfortable using this and ask yourself how would you say this to him if he was a grown up, who takes care of himself, whom you trust to make decisions for himself, who knows what’s best for him.
Little baby - trust that fi they are hungry they will eat. If not they will not.
Putting on a jacket for a 3,4, 5 year old. If they are cold they will put it on. The COLD will get them to do it, NOT YOU.
Getting himself ready by a certain time and being willing to have consequences in real life if he doesn’t. As if he was a grown man.
Negotiable things - that don’t matter as much to you - like the time they go to bed 10 and 11. Willing to sacrifice a bit of their sleeping time for the sake of PEACE and sanity.
Homework - trust he can manage it and it is good practice to let him manage it and if he doesn’t - they are consequences, he will have too catch up on work and get lower mark.
I trust him to figure this out.
I trust him to make the right decision.
I trust him to be ready.
I trust him to handle the consequences if he doesn’t.
I trust myself to handle the consequences if he doesn’t.
He can handle this and I can also handle this.
Start SMALL. Add on. Carry on.
I am ok if he makes a mistake. I can handle it. I can guide him.
Natural consequences.
I am at peace. I let him live his life. I let life teach him. I let him figure it out.
I am not yelling, reminding, nagging or stressing out.
AND to my amazement he DOES and it Is glorious. I ge too be at peace AND he gets to be his own person.
AND as they grow you will only need to practice this MORE of the time with more of the things and the goal is that you let him do him 100% of the time when is all grown up. SO start small and start now.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Consistency prison. How to get joy back.
Sure way to suck joy out of anything is to tell yourself you have to do it everyday.
Dread, not enjoying what you are doing, wanting to do nothing.
You know you are in a consistency prison if you are afraid of what will happen if you Stop.
If you stop playing tennis - you won’t work out. You will stop learning.
You don’t trust yourself too exercise without the routine, the plan, the appointment. SO you force yourself to do it consistently.
The problem happens when a lot of time passes and you are dreading everything you have on your calendar. You don’t want to do it but you do because you are consistent. So you force yourself.
Until one day you are exhausted and all you want is nothing. Just nothing.
That’s why it is important to check in with yourself and have a conversation - do you still want to be doing this? What do you want too do? What Cani get you ? What would you like. ? why don’t you wan tot do this? Do you need a break.? Having an honest conversation about your fears.
What happens if you are afraid will happen if you stop.
Well doing anything out of fear is exhausting.
You think you will not be good enough, fit enough, smart enough, competitive enough.
What if you are good enough without doing that thing. And you don’t have to do it. What do you want to do?
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you have ever said these words this episode is for you.
This sneaky, shame generating statement is not a true reflection of all the things you do and the value of them.
Listen to upgrade your mom thoughts and feel the appreciation for ALL that you do.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This is what we all need to do every day and we need to learn how to do it privately.
We don't only need comfort when someone dies or something tragic happens.
We need comfort over small, insignificant things and we need it daily.
But because it is not publicly acceptable to cry over every small thing, we can do it privately. And we don't necessarily need to cry every time but we do need the comfort.
Listen to find out how.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
When someone says : "You don’t do ____"
You translate it to "I want ___".
Instead of getting defensive, feeling critisized, attacked and lashing out, arguing, defending yourself - you can understand what the other person wants and connect with them, talk to them, give them what they want.
You can think they are so cute because they actually love it and want it when you do ____. They are just upset when you don't do it and they haven't figured out how to ask for it.
You don’t sing songs anymore
You don’t cook this anymore
You don’t meet me here anymore
You don’t take me to movies any more
Call me anymore
Meet me for lunch anymore
Talk to me
Watch show with me
Translate all of that to
I want ___ all those things.
Or Can you please do all those things.
OR I love it when you do all those things.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Stubbing your toe on the bed - information was missing - there is a bed right there and now you know it. You didn’t and now you do.
Painful but information was delivered.
I had expectations of how a person would behave in a situation and the person behaved differently. I felt painful, disappointing, upsetting, ,saddening.
I was missing information about that person .
I didn’t know the exact way they would react in this situation and NOW I do. But I didn’t . The only reason it hurts is because I was missing this information.
Knowing this eases my pain.
Knowing this actually has me searching for the information I was missing.
Knowing this gets me to accept this information sooner.
Knowing this gets me to see that I actually don’t want to accept this new information. Knowing this helps me see my own judgement of this new information.
And it is painful.
But seeing this as simply information about the world, specifically about this other person - helps me learn and next time not have the same pain.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This is for you if you are struggling managing family life and work life.
- You already have a full time job before you go back to work.
-Do you have to work to support yourself?
-You are not only taking care of your 2 kids -you are taking care of 2 kids, yourself, your husband, your house, and any life circumstances like health concerns, renovations, birthday parties, future planning (always), relatives, etc.
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you had an expectation of how it will go and it's totally different now that it is happening
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you can do them both and may be not at the same time, OR you can do them both at the same time but you will have to up your organization around your jobs and plan everything as an operations manager of 2 full time jobs.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If your son has ever any feeling that he is really uncomortable feeling then this episode is for you. I teach a technique that I use on myself and my son to help me in situations when some feelings feel unbearable.
You will learn the technique "name all the things" and i will also list other tools I use in similar situations to help myself or my son.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Listen in this episode to find out what is the driver of your actions and what you have to look for. You will understand why you haven't taken the action that you want yet.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are conflicted about what to do when you are tired and want to be there for your boy this episode is for you. Being conflicted inside can cause fights outside with your son. I want to help you avoid it.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I believe this feeling does not get enough attention in our adult world and therefore creates a lot of unwanted, unnecessary negative emotion. Listen to this episode to get to know this feeling better and strategies you can do to allow it in your life.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
In this episode I share a simple everyday action that we take and an opportunity to feel good in it. Which one will you choose for yourself? Don't miss this chance to feel good and be happy.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
In this episode I share simple truths that we all know and may have forgotten or not, but I share my example of applying them with my kids, actually i teach them to apply these truths. Listen on to find out how I approached my two boys fighting and the 3 simple truths to live by.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
In this episode you will learn 3 question you can ask yourself to be honest TO and WITH yourself. Very important if you want to do your work in the world, show up a loving person to your kids, partner, friends. These questions have to be answered in order to move on in your life and have fun.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
In this episode I share what you need to do when you are overwhelmed and how putting it down can help. Putting it down may be available through many different methods and you have to discover it for yourself. Coaching is so effective because it helps you change your perspective on things, in other words it helps you put down the load you are carrying by changing your mind about it.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This episode is about the lies our brain tells us and how it disregards the truth of your life. Here is what you do and what questions you can ask to crack the lies and feel good about yourself again.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Whenever someone offers to do something for you or give you something or pay for something you have 2 choices: accept or decline. If you decline you will miss an opportunity to allow the other person to experience an amazing feeling they will feel when they have done something for the other person. So I encourage you to GIVE them the chance to do something for you or give you something and FEEL really good about themselves. I share 3 examples to give you an idea.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
In this episode I share with you the process I use for myself when I don't want to see someone that is important to me. You will learn the questions to ask yourself to move forward. You will learn to make peace with all parts of yourself. You will learn to use this as an opportunity to connect with yourself on a new level and will know how to unblock yourself from not wanting to see that person.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I love this episode for you if you want to build muscle and get results with your body, your weight, your relatioinship with your food and yourself. If you want to use food to create a better relationship with yourself and also lose weight and transform your body into a stronger, muscle -full body then you have to get in touch with Giovanna.
If you want help with your nutrition and building muscle and confidence journey you can find Giovanna here on IG.
https://www.instagram.com/giovi_serauto/?hl=en
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
The all powerful list does not hold you prisoner and does not govern how you FEEL. listen to this episode to get clarity about what exactly creates your feelings and how the TO DO LIST relates to it.
If you are a slave to your to do list this episode is for you.
If you dread your next thing on the list then this episode is for you.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Every problem is a thought problem and every solution is a thought solution.
I share with you the way to look at life to solve all your problems.
Sign up for a free session here: https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Being aware of what the journey should look like will prevent you from quitting. In this episode i share with you some examples to help you not quit and keep going when things get bad.
We all get sick. How we react to it will determine our experience of being sick. Here i offer a peaceful way to approach sickness in yourself and your loved ones.
Create peace around it will help you create a loving relationships with yourself and your son, partner, everyone around you.
Here is the link to Ajahn Brahm's podcast.
as well as his book
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
I love, love, love this thought and how useful it can be when you really believe it. I give a few examples of my own and encourage you to adopt the same in your life.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This is what it looks like when we have already created a relationship we want AND we have a 'fight'/ disagreement with the other person - instead of blaming, shutting down or fighting with the other person we do this:
- we connect with ourselves
-we connect with them
-we are honest with ourselves
-we can be honest with them
-we open up
- we are curious
- we get curious about ourselves and the other person
- we own that we created our feelings and don't blame the other person
-we give the other person a break from being responsible for how we feel
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This questions is super important and is a solution to being annoying by others. There is a direct correlation between being annoyed by others AND NOT doing your business, NOT answering this one question, NOT thinking about the answer to the one question.
Other peoples opinions, what they are, what you can do with them and how to use then to connect with yourself.
I am always here to help you connect with yourself and your son, sign up for a free mini session here to get coached and get that amazing relationship for yourself.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
We don't want to be liers yet we tell others what we think they want to hear and often it is not what is true for us. we want to please them and so we lie, tell them not the truth and miss an opportunity to connect with ourselves and connect with the other person. We can't connect with them because we are not us, we are pretending to be someone else. We don't give them a chance to get to know us, to get to connect with the real us. With this episode I invite you to tell yourself the truth about what you want to do and what you DON'T want to do, first tell YOURSELF the truth and then it will be easier to tell others. Practice that skill.
If you need any help with your relationships please sign up for a session here or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
If you believe that you are not doing something because you don't have time then this episode is for you. I invite you to consider that another factor is actually the reason why you are not doing something. Listen to hear my own example and you can apply this to yourself and find out what is it that is stopping you.
If you need any help with your relationships please sign up for a session here or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Here is what clients say:
Before working with Natalia I was struggling with my relationship with my mom and confidence at work. I have more compassion for my mom now and am able to see the world from her perspective.
At work now I feel empowered, like “Fck!!! I can do anything else I want. Whats next? what are we gonna work on next!?”*
I find coaching very practical. When I started working with Natalia it made me feel hopeful , I saw improvement right away. If you are on the fence about hiring Natalia I say just do it. Treat it as a little gift to yourself.
Just the time spent together on various topics has added to self confidence because you become so much more self aware. Natalia is in my corner, she’s got my back.
Anastasia Elia, mom of 2
This is just a reminder for you that life is SUPPOSED to be 50% positive and 50% negative AND if you Expect it to be this way you will NOT compound the negative emotion. I invite you to NOT make it mean anything about YOU or what you are doing and move through it supporting yourself and being at peace with feeling not great.
If you need any help with your relationships please sign up for a session here or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
It is so easy to fall into the patter of thinking that others fill our needs and we fill their needs. In this episode you can listen to how this doesn't actually work, it is exhausting, and impossible to actually fill anyones needs but your own.
If you need any help with your relationships please sign up for a session here or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Here is what Cathy says:
Natalia is a fantastic coach! She helps me with my relationships and especially with the way I talk to myself. Natalia teaches me new questions to ask myself and tools to use everyday. I love to have her guidance as I navigate my challenges.
I share how to get anything you want in your life by eliminating the last block that you have that is preventing you from getting it.
I share my examples and invite you to try this approach.
If you need any help please sign up for a session here
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Here is a testimonial from one of my clients:
I truly enjoyed working with Natalia! She asks a lot of questions that help
me see my problems, struggles and situations from various angles. It gives me a good perspective on what is relevant and what not and thank’s to that I’m able to find solutions easier. At the beginning of our cooperation we saw each other every week. I learned a good amount of techniques that I can now use on my own. Nevertheless, I still reach out to her occasionally to get a new impulse and perspective. Natalia is one of a kind. She is very professional but kind and fun at the same time, always engaged and always ready to help.
Andrea, mom of 2
Hi, I'm Natalia Schneidmiller and I help women put an end to all fighting in their relationships by teaching them the tools to manage their mind so they can handle anything and everything and not let it cause a fight in their relationships.
If you lost the point to life, if you are a bored, if you are overeating or over drinking, or over shopping, or over doing anything, then this episode is for you.
I share my approach to the big question Why we are all here and how to approach it.
Are you consuming more than creating in your day?
Feeling good enough and NOT good enough has a lot to do with whether you will listen to your truest desires or not, whether you will take action toward creating that something of your dreams or not.
Listening to yourself and telling yourself the truth about what you want is more powerful than hiding from it.
If you need help with finding what your truest desire is then i can help and also help you with your relationships, sign up here for a free session or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
Here is a review from one of my clients:
Before working with Natalia I could not manage my anxiety.
Now I could drive my kids to school, or get groceries, do whatever needs to be done, Before that I thought I would die for sure, I was paralyzed.
I got control of my life back and I feel awesome, free, lighter.
She got me back to my confidence, got me back to who I really am.
For anyone who is on the fence about doing this work I would say that for me it was definitely the key help to get out of it so it does work. And it does change you it doesn’t just help you it changes you in a positive way. So it is really worth it. Everybody should know the stuff that Natalia has to share.
I felt I was finally reconnecting with myself even while having anxiety. I got really good at realizing that anxiety is just an emotion just like happiness, sadness and it is just something that happens in our body. I was able to get personal with myself. She gave me the access key to get personal with myself and understand what is going on in my brain. Read Lisa’s FULL STORY HERE Lisa , stay at home mom of 2
It is so, SO tempting to make conclusions like these when we become aware of our thoughts, especially thoughts that are not as useful.
I share an example of a client who was shaming and blaming herself for having these thoughts.
What does it mean when you have any thought- NOTHING, it doesn't mean anything about you or how good of a person you are.
IF you are having a thought it simply means you are a HUMAN with a human brain and that the brain works wonderfully.
Review from a client: “wow for so long I wanted this and I didn’t realize I already have this good relationships with my boys, it feels good, like a relief…” – Jennifer, mom of 2 (16 and 23 years old)
If this episode speaks to you then i invite you to come and open up to me in a safe place where you can trust me with your shame and i can guide to release the shame and welcome peace and stop beating yourself up. sing up here ***https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com***
What is a purpose of a relationship?
Is it so the other person can make us happy? Is it so that we can make them happy?
I don't think so.
In this episode i offer you a different way to see the purpose of a relationship.
1. To help you grow
2. To have someone to love.
If you are struggling applying this in your life then i can definitely help you, you can sign up here for a free session or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
“Dear Natalia, thank you so much or being able to enjoy my life!”
-Mira Chlepkova, engineer and mom of 2
Hi Im Natalia Schneidmiller and I help women put an end to all fighting in their relationships by teaching them the tools to manage their mind so they can handle anything and everything and not let it cause a fight in their relationships.
In this episode i share a story about how I assumed it was not my job and i could not do a certain job. This is what we do in our relationships - assume that some jobs are not for us to do and we cannot do them. In this episode i invite you to consider to claim the job of taking care of yourself and decide you are the person for the job of making yourself happy.
Here is a review from one of the clients:
"Natalia helped me make some big decisions in my life.
Before I felt as if my life was just happening to me and I had no say in it.
*Now I have my dream house in my dream city, doing my dream job!
Thanks to the coaching, I started promoting my business more which resulted in helping more clients, which is what I love doing.
The other part of my life that really changed was I was brave enough to move to a different city and take charge of my retirement plan, set myself up with a house and new life in a new city.
Thanks to Natalia I have been able to easily tackle big life decisions and small everyday ‘problems’.
Every time I talk to her I find that one thought the makes everything better for me.
At first I was hesitant about coaching but after our first session I saw results right away in myself which made me come back to it again and again. Everyone should have a coach!
Best investment I ever made.
Thank you Natalia!"
-Nina, 62 , mom of 2 adults*if you need any help with your relationship you can always find me here and sign up for a free session
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
or email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
Hi I'm Natalia Schneidmiller and I help women put an end to all fighting in their relationships by teaching them the tools to manage their mind so they can handle anything and everything and not let it cause a fight in their relationships.
In this episode I tell you a story about how I was worried about my husband and boys were going skiing and how i was able to CHOOSE joy and excitement instead. Practice and awareness are the key to being able to do this.
if you need any help with your relationship you can always find me here and sign up for a free session
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Here is a review from one of my clients:
“Natalia is an awesome coach. She helped me realize that I was judging myself really badly and helped me believe that I am an amazing mom whatever happens. That feels really good. She is sweet, smart and pragmatic. She had lots of practical tips and also helps you become more self confident so you can actually apply them. I used to feel so tired and I didn’t know how to handle my kids. Now I learned to take time for myself and I feel more energy and confidence. Thanks Natalia for all you did for me ❤️”
- Samantha Rich
In this episode i share with you a story about how my not checking the facts lead me down the road and could have ended up as a fight, but thankfully didn't.
Here is my newly formulated mission:
Hi I'm Natalia Schneidmiller and I help women end all fighting in their relationships by teaching them the tools to manage their mind so they can handle anything and everything and not create fights in their relationships.
Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Best kept secret ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
“Natalia is a hidden gem. She has soooo much wisdom and it’s all practical…most of the time with same-day application. My one suggestion is that she rename the podcast because it doesn’t only apply to sons (daughters, husbands, yourself!!!). Everyone and anyone will live with more peace and joy if they follow her methods. I am living more carefree than ever before. I’ve wanted to get past overwhelmed, but all the organizing hacks don’t fix our thoughts. Thank you Natalia…I truly love you for helping me (and our family).”
Mama// via Apple Podcasts · United States of America · 12/14/22
If you need help with your relationships you can get coached and book your session here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
In this episode I share my favourite thoughts with you as a little xmas gift and a wish for you for the new year! borrow them and enjoy
My favourite thoughts of the year:
"I’m done (with this struggle)"
"My boyfriendo "
"Good boy"
"I can do it" - feel capable
"I can trust myself now "
"I’m SO happy I don’t have to drink alcohol "
"It’s ok - I can take care of you"
"Showers are my favourite (and pajamas) "
"You have the best papa"
"I have the best husband ever"
"So cute"
"I’m going to try this"
"It’s raining good things on me "
I share my conversation with Shirley that we had on her podcast Daring Living a few weeks ago.
This question will help you in all your relationships. listen and apply
If you need any help i am always here for you, click here to book your help now.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
**Shirley has a workshop POWER OF ONE on DEC 22nd , click here to sign up.
Special Christmas gift for you guys is my conversation with my friend and coach Shirley Huang! She is a host of the Daring Living podcast and a coach or multi-passionate women.
We talk about the one thing that has to be done before you can have what you want - you have to drop the 'I have to" or " i should" thoughts in your head and only then you will be able to access what you want.
We share some examples from our lives and how transformative this one thought is "I DON'T HAVE TO".
You can always find her on her insta account here.
"Attention is the healer of separation" - Eckhart Tolle.
Listen to this episode how to use this in your life and how to practice this in your relationships with other people and your relationship with yourself.
As always i share my personal example of how I use this in my life to connect to my husband and kids and myself and be inspired to try this yourself.
If you are ready to have an amazing relationship with yourself and enjoy his company I invite you to sign up for a free first session here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Some fights start with this thought so I share with you what happens when you think this thought.
You will learn how to separate facts from your story about it and you will see what you create with this thought for yourself in your relationship.
If you need any help connect with HIM simply sign up for a session and learn how to connect with him.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Learn the one sentence that can change your whole life and help you be happy even when and especially when things go wrong.
I share Byron Katies teaching and I share my personal recent story of how I applied it to my life.
If you are ready to stop fighting with your son then i invite you to come work with me and stop it forever, simply sign up here for your first free session.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
A real life example and how you can deal with it. I used to get confused by situations like these until i found a way to see it in a very simple, very useful way! and i share it with you here in this episode.
You will learn what lies behind your child saying that and you will have a chance to discover your own thoughts about it and then be able to help your child navigate through making decisions.
I will talk about fear driven decisions vs trust driven decisions.
I share a real life example of a friend and her daughter.
Changing other people or life outcomes is not always available or possible but changing our mind and managing our thoughts about them is always available to us and that is why i share with you these examples.
If you are ready to never think or worry or struggle about your relationships ever again - be done with the struggle - then all you have to do is start living and acting in a way that reflects that - and if you need any help to get there I can help you start acting and feeling that way today, TODAY. simply sign up for a session HERE to have a chat with me.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Rushing does not feel good and it steals all the moments from us when we are worried about time and being late or being behind. Rushing does NOT give us more time or make us do things faster, it simply distracts us from what we are doing in the moment.
I share with you the process that I go through to stop rushing and feel calm and relaxed and actually enjoy whatever moment I am in.
If you can't stop rushing and need that extra help I would love to help you, simply book your time to chat with me here and I can't wait to get you to feel calm and relaxed.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you ever feel down about yourself, feel like those people don't like you then this episode is for you.
It will give you perspective on this situation so that you don't feel so bad for so long.
I want to get into your head and the next time this happens to you you will know exactly what to do.
If you need any help to stop worrying about what others think of you - I can help you. sign up here for a chat.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are not enjoying your husband you can borrow this thought (or come up with any other thought SO that you can feel GOOD about your husband) I share my story about what i used to feel and think about my husband and how I turned it around and now I can truly enjoy myself and my husband and it all started with 1 thought.
If you want to stop nagging on your husband, stop fighting with him or anyone else i can help you, simply sign up here for a chat with me.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
What to do when all the things overwhelm you and some optional thoughts for you this december!
If you need any help with overwhelm i would love to help you! sign up here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you have headaches then you must listen. I share with your the work of Louise Hay and he wonderful solution AND how I tailored it to myself and my headaches.
This stuff works. Must try.
Here is the link to the list I am referring to, where you can find your aches and find your affirmations.
https://www.louisehay.com/
If you want to heal your relationship with your son them I can help you. Click here to pick a time to chat.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you don't have what you want then you haven't put a request in for specifically what you want.
If you go to a restaurant you expect to order exactly what you want and that is the only way the chef know what to make for you. The same happens in life through what you request energetically and specify and the universe delivers.
If you fail to make a request or make it specific enough then you will not be gettinig what you want exaclty. Listen to my example of how it is working for me and try it yourself.
here is the book I am referring to that Abraham channelled through Ester.
i love all things universe and relationships, and if you need any help with either i would love to help you! sign up here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Have you ever heard this term? Self-regulation?
I share 3 questions I use to self regulate and i offer them to you to also include in your life to self-regulate.
as always i am here to help you with coaching, you can find a time that works for you here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
When your son says that school is stressful you want to help him and here is one option that you can use. i LOVE this option and I use it all the time.
You can support yourself this way AND support him.
Listen up to how I guide myself and him through it.
if you need any help with being stressed or helping your son with his stress, you can come talk to me here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Every time you say something nice to someone else - offer that same comment to yourself! practice. reminder to say nice things to yourself. and look for what you did well, right. congratulate yourself. feel good about yourself. practice this. and it will grow.
if you need any help with talking nicer to yourself you can get help with me , you can come talk to me here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you struggle with talking to your son, you can ask yourself this question: am i coming at this with fear or trust?
I share my story of getting to school this morning and how i showed up coming out of fear and what lesson i learned and keep learning: practice trusting your son.
if you need any help with trusting your son I can always help you, you can come talk to me here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are debating eliminating social media from your life then i am here to help you make that final decision, give you that last reason you need to make that move.
You will gain your time back but even more importantly you will gain back that space in your brain to see your life, to feel it and to make it better, to enjoy it, to take care of it, to be in it, to put all of your attention ON IT.
"I want to focus on MY life." is the power thought that can help you eliminate any time on social media and gain back all that attention and put back where it belongs- on your life.
If you need any help with this or any other aspect of your life - they all impact our relationship with ourselves and our kids, our boys, - then you can always get my help and have that amazing relationship that you want. sign up here for a free session.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If it bothers you when your kids are playing videos games and you would like to be more at peace with it then listen to this episode.
I share the 3 parts of a solution that i have found for myself, how i approached it and adjust it to your own situation. If you need any further help with this i can help you by coaching you.
sign up for a free session here and we will talk.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Have you ever made a bucket list for the summer? or if you have never heard of this concept I definitely suggest you listen because this concept and the question you can ask yourself will reveal to you what is MOST important to you. Now go make that list now.
Bucket list with the kids.
Bucket list for the holidays.
Bucket list before you die.
Bucket list with the husband.
If you need any help putting that bucket list into action and honouring what is important to you then you can always get that help with me. sign up here for your session.
We've all had an unpleasant interaction. "Why did this happen to me?" you must be thinking and here is an episode about what you can do with that unpleasant interaction. I share a story of what happened to me and what I did and do in similar situations.
Doing this makes all my relationships better. If you need any help with your relationship with your son i can help you. Simply sign up for a free session here and we will talk about it.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Sometimes you don't feel like showing up because you can't give it your best or you just don't want to and i encourage you to just still show up even at your worst.
I give a few examples where i apply it in my own life and what results it creates for me.
If you need more help with it then definitely get help from me and start enjoying a good relationship with your son and yourself.
click here to sign up for a session with me.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This episode is for you if you hate your pms, if you are low energy during pms, if you love being efficient, productive and hate being grumpy - this episode is for you.
I share with you the way i have worked around my PMS and how i have learned to take care of myself.
The way you treat yourself during your pms will determine how you feel and if you hate your pms then you are probably not showing up in the most loving and supporting way for yourself or your kids.
Figuring this out will create a more loving relationship with your son.
If you need more help with it then definitely get help from me and start enjoying a good relationship with your son and yourself.
click here to sign up for a session with me.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you have ever thought that or felt it inside of you then this episode is for you - i share a great solution that works every time and i also share what I do with that information in my life.
If you are ready to have a GOOD relationship with your son then you can start with me today and sign up here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This is a real example from my life and i share this with you so you can get help with this specific problem and also sub in any other problem into 'i don't know what to do when _____".
If you are ready to have a GOOD relationship with your son then you can start with me today and sign up here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I believe the skill of being disappointed is very important to develop and practice because we will have to be disappointed in life many many times!
If your son doesn't get a job he wants or gets turned down by a girl he wants to date, or his project doesn't go as he wants- he will be disappointed. If he has not practiced being disappointed than he might make it mean something about him and NOT pursue another job or another girl, he might quit his project. We don't want that, we want him to keep striving for what he wants and get the job of his dreams and find a partner.
So help your son practice being disappointed. Practice this yourself. Be disappointed and move on.
And in order to support your son when he's disappointed you need to feel like you are a good mom who has a good relationship with her son. IF you don't feel that way that is what i'm here for - i can help you have a good relationship with your son - sign up her to talk about it.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are feeling bad about yourself as a mom and how you parented your son in the past; if you are feeling shame and or feel guilty about what you did or didn't do for your son in the past and are stuck then you are probably withdrawing from your son, not reaching out, not talking to him, not initiating conversations, not planning fun trips or fun things to do with him today. If this is you you must listen to this episode.
The same is true if you are spending time controlling what he does all day, manipulating him, calling him too much, helicopter parenting too much, nagging, lecturing or checking on him too much then you are again NOT present with your son today and not enjoy your son today because you are letting your mind play the horror movies of the future, like: worried, scared he will die, not go to school, fail, do drugs, etc; feeling out of control about all those things.
Must listen to this episode because as moms we are wired to protect our boys and this can sometimes take too much of our head space.
Learn what it looks like on the other side and what you can CHOOSE instead of guilt ,shame, worry and fear.
You can start applying this today and if you need any help this is what i am here for to help you choose TRUST, JOY, FUN, EXCITEMENT with your son, TODAY. don't wait, do this now.
sign up for a session here and we will get started.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
With this simple question you can cut your yelling at the kids by 90%.
All you have to do is be brave enough to take the time and answer it for yourself and keep asking yourself that question whenever you are:
- snappy at the kids
- over eating
- over drinking
- over social mediaing
- over shopping
- over doing anything that you don't want to be overdoing,
Listen to this episode and find out how i applied it to myself this weekend and this morning, what answers i found and how I solved for the actual problems i discovered.
This one question will help you discover where in your life you need comfort and then be able to give it to yourself.
If you are ready to comfort your fears about your sons future or finally get rid of guilt over how you showed up with him in the past and once and for all create the relationship you want with him then start your work today by signing up for a free session HERE. https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you think something along those lines or feel down, depressed, hopeless or simply lost then listen to this episode!
You will learn 2 questions you can ask yourself to get out of feeling lost and feel refocused again.
If you are feeling depressed, sad, whinny and complainy for a few weeks or even a day - must listen to this episode to learn the one question that creates perspective for you so you can move out of feeling sad and into feeling better!
If you are ready to be worry free, guilt free and have zero fights with your son i am here to support you do exactly that! sign up for a free session here.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
And that is why I am sharing this message with you today! I believe if I needed to hear this years ago then you need to hear this today.
If you are curious about life without alcohol then this episode is for YOU.
If you can't even imagine your life without alcohol then you should definitely listen to this episode!
I share my story with alcohol and what it felt like before i chose not to drink it and i share how it feels now when I don't include it as part of my life. It is amazing!!!!
You should check out Rachel Hart's podcast: Take a Break.
Another great coach to do this work with is Brooke Castillo and her program. Highly, HIGHLY recommend BOTH of them if you want to do this work. This is not a paid ad for them. They both helped me and i love the results so I just want to share them with you.
AND if you are ready to have a great relationship with your son you can sign up for a free session and get started.
If you are eating a little too much lately or drinking too much wine or going on social media a little more than you would like then you will find this episode helpful.
I talk about my own experience of eating peanut butter and getting curious about why i was eating spoons of peanut butter after dinner a few nights in a row.
I talk about what I discovered once I got curious and what questions i asked myself to find the answer.
I also share with you the 3 options you have in solving the problems.
If you are ready to dive into creating an amazing relationships with your son then don't wait, sign up for a free session with me today HERE.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are feeling jealous and believe that you can only feel better by having that thing someone else has or experiencing what others have you need to listen to this episode. This will change your life. Listen to how I answer my own jealousy when it comes up.
You will learn what creates jealousy and how you can answer it in order to feel better.
If you are ready to have an amazing relationship with your son then book your time here. https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This is the key to keeping your weight off after you lost it. If you have lost weight before and gained it back then this episode is for you!
Must listen to find out WHAT the deciding factor is in KEEPING weight OFF.
If you want to end your struggle with weight go to my coach and she will help you https://brendalomeli.com/. This a great program that i HIGHLY recommend.
Also you can find another coach who teaches this same method HERE - at the same school that i went to.
IF you are ready to end your struggle with your son, stop worrying or feeling guilty I am the coach for you. Sign up for a free session with me here https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
It is a daily practice just like brushing teeth. Listen to this episode to find out what are the steps to do this and what are the benefits.
If you are feeling disconnected from your son or your husband, your friend, your parent and you are waiting around on THEM to make a move you must listen to this episode. You will learn what creates connection and how to create it on demand.
I teach you the 'turn around' method which i learned from Byron Katie. A powerful mind technique that will free you from your stubborn thinking if you are open to it.
Listen to this to hear how i apply it personally in my relationship with my husband and with my kids.
IF you need any help with your relationship with your son you can go here to sign up for a free session.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I share my latest purchase from the 'life' store and share with you also the hardest and the most time consuming part- the biggest obstacle that i had and that we ALL share when buying from the 'life' store.
I love, love, love offering you create a good relationship with your son as a package that is sold at the 'life' store. If you are ready and believe YOU can have it then go here and sign up for a spot.
This is a great and simple tool I use all the and highly recommend to you if you are having a bad day, a bad week. Once you start using it notice how you feel after you apply it in your life.
If you are still stuck and need help creating a good relationship with your son i can help you today. sign up for a free session HERE.
Live an intentional life where you get to decide what you will think, feel and do in your life. Don't let your default/primitive brain run away with assuming judgments and conclusions that don't serve you. Answer your own rhetorical questions. The first step is to gain awareness of the questions - which are your thoughts in your brain and then you can decide what you want to answer them with.
If you need any help taking a look at your thoughts and creating a great relationship with your son then come sign up for a free session HERE.
I have taken this from Abraham and have fine tuned it to work for me and I can do it on demand now, not always but getting better and better. must listen if you want to start creating things in your life on purpose. Highly recommend listening to Abraham , love their message and humour.
"I must be doing something wrong to be THIS tired! Now if only if figure out WHY i'm this tired and what i have to change then i will feel wonderful and will not be this tired." If you have ever thought that then this episode is for you.
See how i use the teachings of Byron Katie to cut through my own thinking and stop wasting my time and energy and start giving myself more energy.
If you need extra help or have a question for me you can sign up for a free mini session here
This a tool I invented so that you can have a way of practically approaching your relationship with your son. This tool will also be a great way to expose all your obstacles to enjoying that relationship fully. Listen to learn exactly how you can apply it. IF you need any help you can always book your free session with me HERE
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you have ever thought these thoughts about taking care of your kids this episode is for you. You are not alone. You will learn the two options you have in approaching these thoughts and you will have awareness around these thoughts and feelings that will give you an opportunity to choose what you want.
This is a powerful method of showing up the way you want to as a mom and as a care giver to yourself.
If you need any help working through this you can always get coached my me. Sign up for your free session HERE. https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I share the word that has helped myself and my clients to get unstuck in our limiting thinking and move towards what we want.
listen to the three examples i give and see how this applies to you and how you can use this word in your life?
If you are ever stuck and need help you can always sign up for a session here https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
When is a good time to engage with my teen and when is a good time to just leave him be?
Listen in to find out the process that I take myself through and my clients to figure out when is a good time to talk to my kid and when is a good time to hold back.
You will find out the thought and feeling combination that leads to supporting your boy and also withdrawing and not supporting him.
Surely i'm supposed to feel better today! it's been long enough! i'm supposed to feel good, why am i feeling bad? something must be wrong with me.
If that is you then listen on.
Nothing has gone wrong and in fact everything is going right for you.
Just make sure you remember that it's supposed to be 50% shitty half of the time and you will move through the shittyness.
Stop feeling shitty about feeling shitty by getting coached today, sign up here : https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
You are only ever one thought away from solving a problem, feeling better, getting out of shame, having an amazing relationship with your son. Listen to this episode as i give examples of how this works and how it worked with my clients.
I can help you find that one thought that works for you. You can sign up here for your free session.
https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
We can be good at feeling blah or we can treat it as an unwanted guest, which way do you treat your 'blah'? The way you react to it will determine how you are feeling and how well you are at taking care of yourself during the 'blah'.
Listen to this episode to find out how the two ways are different, what thoughts you can think in order to switch to a more useful mode.
There's a way to determine which mode you are in so you can slowly walk yourself back to a more kind, useful mode.
Take care of your blah, welcome it in. Be a good guest.
If you are ready to take your work to the next level and finally have an amazing relationship with yourself and your son go to my website and sign up for a free session https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
This is the best way to avoid blowing up at your kids or your husband. There are many ways and I suggest you find the one that works best for you.
This one works so well i believe it will help you release some of that stress you are feeling.
I help you stop blowing up at your kids - sign up here for a free consultation. https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
When the other person doesn't do what we want then to do we can either get upset, let it ruin our whole day or we do these 2 things:
- remember that life is 50% great and 50%shitty and that's OK
- NOT fight what IS in front of us
if he does not want to go on a walk - then it means he does not want to go on a walk.
It does not mean you have nothing in common, you will never be able to do anything, or that yo suck at this. it simply means that this is the negative part of life AND he does not want to go on a walk - and it's ALL OK.
life should be 50% negative emotion and we can LET other people do or not do whatever it is they want. because the alternative is feeling upset over it.
listen to my example of how this played out for me last saturday
if you are stuck being upset then come sign up for a session and get unstuck https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
Having a good relationship with yourself. Being able to say sorry to your son after not paying attention to him. That is ultimate. Being willing to be not perfect.
- the irony of what happened - helping people connect with their boys while I am disconnecting with mine
- using it to connect with your son instead of disconnect
-
being proud of yourself for saying sorry
-
being an example of what it looks like to own your mistakes and be OK with being Not perfect and be an example of how to deal with being human and not make it mean you are terrible
-
not holding it against yourself that you did that- no shame - just proud
-
not afraid to be imperfect - willing to make mistakes and say sorry
-
willing to forgive yourself for ALL the terrible things that you have done wrong before
-
makes you willing to be imperfect and make mistakes again in the future - and willing to say sorry for them
-not the end of the world
-
don’t feel shitty about yourself
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move on and love your boy and be a good mom
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see ALL of the good you are doing for your boy and yourself
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see your progress from when you used to beat yourself up, used to cry over being a "bad mom", scaring him for life and not getting it right- you are doomed and he will never talk to you again and in the future you will have a terrible relationship with him.
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before I would have not noticed I have done that, not apologized, not connected to him over it, beat myself up for not listening to him, or not even notice that I disconnected from him in that moment.
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so if you want to be able to do the same thing - create connection over your fights then you need to come work with me and give this gift to yourself for the rest of your life -
Please share this with other moms! Thank you! And please leave a review!
Sign up for your free session here: https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
I want to invite you to come and get this for yourself. What does it mean to you to have a good relationship with your son? it means different things to different people. What is it for you?
Listen up to find out what it takes to have that and of course you must come talk to me if you believe you are ready to have that.
sigh up here https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
By the way as you listen to this you can substitute any other person in the place of the son and it will still work: your husband, your mom, your daughter, anyone. So listen to this concept and you can apply it to anyone in your life.
There are 2 sons - one in your head and one that’s the actual person in reality out there.
Does the son in your head match(thoughts about your son) the son in reality.
The bigger the gap the more there is suffering.
The smaller the gap the more joy you have. The more love and connection you feel.
Here’s why - you have NO control over the person who is your son but you do have full control over your THOUGHTS about your son. And great news - your THOUGHTS about him will determine how you connect with him. If you accept his just as he is that means the son in your head is matching with the son in reality. IF you do not accept him as he is and wish he were different you are creating the gap between you and him. Because the two people don’t match. This creates suffering. Reality always wins.
Personal examples
My sons back hurts - son in my head - his back doesn’t hurt. Suffering
Son in my head should never get frustrated at his brothers - suffering.
Son in my head should not be so sensitive - suffering.
Son in your head should do a certain job or should call you certain amount of times or should come visit, anything that he should do that he is not doing is what is creating that GAP between imaginary son in your head and the actual person who is your son.
Thinking too highly of your son - he’s amazing, he’s wonderful, he can do nothing wrong- sure you can think that if that feels good to you but be careful - your son is also a human who makes mistakes so when he does that human thing that he does that doesn’t match your ideal image in your head you will also suffer.
So I suggest you always rely on reality to tell you what your son should be doing and who he should be. Not your head.
Make your sons match as closely as possible for your own sake, so that YOU can feel connected and loving and support and be proud of yourself. Not for his sake although he will benefit.
The way to do that is to have thoughts about your son that reflect who he is. he doesn’t have to call me. I love him. He should be frustrated with his brothers. He should have a sore back. He should do all the things he does. He should not do all the things he doesn’t do. Do you see what I mean.
The smaller the gap between your idea of your son and your actual son the more connection you will feel.
Have you taken a break and still feel shitty?
Did your husband give you a break from the kids and you are still angry and overwhelmed?I used to take all sorts of breaks and i'd feel good after for a little bit but very soon i would be back where i started.
Listen to this episode if that is you.
Find out the wrong way to take a break and the right way.
If you want to take a break from feeing guilty and worried come get coached and change this pattern for the rest of your life. sign up for your free session HERE: https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you start telling your son what to do, worry about his future, worry about his personality being affected by rejection; if you are losing sleep over this then this episode is for you.
I share 2 things that will give you immediate relief and provide you with a way to think about this that will make life better.
If you need help with getting over your sons rejection you can sign up for a free session here: https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
If you are melting down on weekends, letting the kids set the schedule, resenting the husband for sleeping in i suggest you listen to this episode.
Find out what I think the difference is between being a victim on the weekend and feeling grateful.
If you have other thoughts about weekends that i didn't address here and would like to get to feel grateful and happy on weekends you must come get coached so we can address those thoughts. Sign or a free session here : https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
You are not robot, you have a human brain, you DO want to be frustrated when your kid does something he wasn't supposed to do. You don't want to be happy about everything. We forget that and our brain tells us we want to feel good all the time. That type of thinking causes a lot of disappointment and shame and guilt. Listen to this episode to explore this idea of welcoming ALL of life including the negative 50%.
You can sign up for a your free session here https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/ .
Listening to my podcast is listening to my thoughts and I do encourage that, I have collected a few useful ones about relationships and you should definitely borrow them!
But getting coached is time where you have a chance to look at YOUR thoughts and that is an opportunity for you to change them and change your life and your relationship with your son.
That is why you should sign up for a free session with me at https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/ .
In case you are in the middle of raising little kids this episode is for YOU.
You are that good mom who judges herself when she lets the kids watch tv or doesn't spend enough quality time with her kids - this episode is for you.
I teach you how to take this sentence "it's hard to raise little kids" and make it work for you - not by judging yourself but by seeing yourself from the outside and giving yourself compassion. Listen to this episode to find out the KEY to that compassion.
I changed my mindset from What I don’t want to what I DO want. It was smooth sailing after that.
"I don’t want them to be on the screen. "
"I’m being a bad mom. "
"We don’t spend quality time together. "
"We should be doing family things."
"We are all separate."
Blah blah blah.
Feel disappointed, annoyed, unsatisfied.
How do I enjoy my vacation when i'm disappointed? -
Don’t enjoy my free time when they are on iPads; Feel like a bad mom; jealous that my husband is enjoying his free time; Don’t enjoy my time with him or myself. Don’t SEE all the family time we do have already.
Switched to I DO want to watch movies together/ Olympics together.
Satisfied. Clear. Certain. Good.
How do I enjoy vacation when i feel satisfied?: enjoy myself and my vacation and my kids on my ipads!
Enjoy my time watching olympics with ,my husband or my kids.
ENJOY my family time with them all watching olympics together. Or just me and my husband,.
Appreciate the whole day we got to spend together with the kids, skiing, lunch tougher, coffee, being accommodating., letting others do what they want. Dinner together. Pool Time together.
So this is a classic example of changing your mindset around something and that makes a difference between enjoying it or not.
How do you thin k about your kids screen time? I highly encourage you to get someone help you look at your thoughts about screen time and starting there. How do you feel when you think them and how do you show up to yourself and your family when you feel that way?
Let me help you show up as your best mom self and actually ENJOY yourself when your kids are on their iPads!
SCHEDULE YOUR FREE SESSION HERE
I love Mark Mansons question 'what kind of shit sandwich are you willing to eat to do what you love?'
Well, what kind of 'shit sandwich' are you willing to eat when it comes to doing stuff with little kids?
Are you will to clean up the mess when they paint, cook, have a bath.. pretty much do anything?
Also are you will for that sandwich to include your human/imperfect reaction to it? frustration, yelling? That is part of the deal when it comes to little kids. You can accept that and you will be that much calmer and nicer to your kids and yourself when that happens.
Listen to hear my take on this question.
Thanks again to my favourite ever buddhist monk Ajahn Brahm, i love his stories and I share one of mine here about 'thinking vs. doing'.
It is much worse to think about your kids bickering than to actually listen to it. why ? because your thinking sucks! well at least mine did when i was thinking about it.
Don't let them steal your son from you.
How often does your mind just take off and starts playing a horror movie for you about you and your son and your life? Don't let it do that to you.
Bring your mind back here to reality where everything is not so horrible.
I share a personal story of how that happened to me and how i want you to approach your horror movies.
Whether you are starting a workout routine or are building connection with your son you can use these 4 questions to help you start taking action toward your big vision.
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What does it look like this week?
is it one class that you have to take ?
does it look like you writing down your one thought about your son and seeing how it makes you feel?
pick one thing you can do this week to move towards your goal. -
What are they thinking? - the person who is already doing what it is that you want to be doing?
What are their thoughts, about workouts?
What are their thoughts about their son?
Because the thoughts are what makes the difference between going to the gym and eating a cookie.
A thought is what will determine whether you criticize your son or listen with curiosity.
So look around you and study other peoples thoughts about their sons and borrow them if they are producing the results you want.
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What's the smallest version of my goal that i can commit to right now?
a workout once a week?
write down your thought and find a feeling it produces.
Get to know your thoughts about your son.
Make a goal to listen to your son and also watch your mind think thoughts about him and study them. -
and lastly "do a pilot" meaning try this new plan out and decide that you will re evaluate in a few weeks. Knowing that this is just a trial will free you up to take action and fail, after all it's just a trial run.
If your big vision is to have zero fights with your son you must sign up for a free mini session with me, i will help you get unstuck and stop fighting with him and start loving him.
I share a practical way for having an amazing relationship with your son.
I share with you the one skill i learned as a life coach that will transform your relationship with your son. If you practice this you will see results.
This can be applied to any relationship.
If you need any further help with this you can always email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com or sign up for a free session HERE.
What is your relationship with "worry"?
Everyone has worry but do you let it take you away or do you not take it as seriously?
The best thing I learned from Brooke Castillo is that worry pretends to be necessary but really is the most useless emotion . It does not to prevent the bad things from happening. It does not predict the future correctly.
It does not prepare you for the bad things .
It just creates the bad feeling BEFORE the 'bad' thing happens.
Worry is your brain saying "I know what the future we be- it will be bad - so you better prepare for it by feeling bad now.” Makes no sense
Pema Chodron says “Whatever you think the future will be - it will be different”.
So here’s my relationship with worry - I don’t believe it.
I see it as this friend of mine who is always worried and never for a good reason and I just don’t want to spend time with her. She’s always worried and I don’t think she’s always right. So when worry comes up I always recognize it and as soon as I recognize it I realize it is just a bunch of nonsense I don’t need to get involved in. Recognizing it helps me detach from it/ believe it less.
Of course there are time when I have to work harder at leaving the worry state but it’s so practiced now that simply recognizing us is enough to detach.
So I wanted to offer this to you- what is your relationship with worry?
Do you let it spin you out ?
Do you believe it? Do you believe it is right? Do you have a worry habit ?
My friend needs a worry free diet. Do you?
It saves a lot of suffering when you don’t take it seriously and you get good and not taking it seriously.
So if you have worries about your son or his future- how can your worry be wrong about him and his future ?
Worry is just a prediction that he will have a terrible future - or something will go wrong. But it’s just one of a hundred different scenarios that could play out for him. Your worry could totally be wrong. So then worrying and feeling bad now will be a total waste.
Don’t let worry waste your emotions and time imagining the future that sucks. That hasn’t even happened yet.
This feels like the real Christmas present that i received over Christmas and i want to share it with you!
Another mindset shift that gave me freedom from worry and gift and i hope it can do the same for you!
I also share another example about my hair that symbolizes to me that things are beautiful naturally and all we have to do is not get in the way of them showing up!
I would love to hear your examples of small mindset shifts that you have had that made a huge impact on your life! email them at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
Or sing up HERE for you free session with me if you need any more help with your relationships or lunches!
This is something that i want to wish for you this year. Practicing this skill will allow you to feel satisfied, rewarded, fulfilled, excited and giddy even!
I give 2 personal examples in this episode of what it's like to want what you already have.
This gentle reminder is my little present for you as it has helped me so much whenever i have received it.
"this too shall pass." or "seasons of life" - those two are different ways to remind ourselves that nothing is permanent, everything will end one day.
So if you are going through something hard let this reminder soothe you and give you relief, this too will pass!
If you are enjoying your season know that new and better seasons are coming to you.
If you are ready to have the best relationship with your son then you must sign up for a free session with me HERE.
"nothing" I would have said a week ago before I read this story by Ajahn Brahm in his book "Who ordered this truckload of Dung".
I would've said the most important things are : family, kids, friends time, me time, exercise, eating well, calling my parents.
Now my view on what's most important has changed completely. Listen in to find out what's more important than family and being on time.
And if you would like any help with anything you hear in my podcasts i would be happy to help you, just head on over HERE to sign up for your first free session.
In this episode you will learn how to take a pause during your fight or when the tension is building. By asking this one question you will gain perspective and have an opportunity to decide what to do next: to fight or to connect. It is always a choice we are making.
listen to this episode to find out what question that is.
If you need any help with your son, i would be happy to help you, simply sign up for a free time slop HERE.
In this episode you will learn
- specific actionable things you can apply to your morning routine to make it better
- specific mindset you can adopt to streamline your routine
- my own routine that i use now and that i used when kids were younger
- the most important thing you can do for your morning routine ( take time to make decisions ahead of time!)
If you need any help strategizing your morning routine it would be my honour to do this with you, you can sign up HERE for a free spot.
MUST remember this one truth about life and relationships. Listen here to remember what that is. We all need this as a reminder regularly, as i clearly demonstrate on myself:)
Do your kids not need you anymore? I share the coaching I gave my client when she brought it to me.
You will learn the questions you can ask yourself to move through this situation.
I would love to meet you so I am offering free coaching so come sign up HERE and tell me all about your and what you need help with - I can coach you on anything.
This truth will eliminate all the fighting, you just have to get back to it.
I explain how we know when we are not believing the truth and that our only job is to get back to believing it.
The truth always feels good.
If it doesn't feel good it's not the truth.
How you act with your son is determined with this one thing. Listen to find out how to access that one thing in your life and how to figure out if it's useful or not.
I share an example from my life.
If you need help changing that one thing in your life it would be my honour to help with that, book your free time with me to chat HERE.
In this episode I talk about how to set a boundary out of love and what to do when your request has not been fulfilled.
You will learn how to separate what your son does from what you do.
I share with you the question that you must ask yourself when setting a boundary.
I share all the ways we can generate confidence in a meeting but to apply them you have to be bought into this once concept. Listen up to find out what it is.
If you need any help creating confidence in meetings I am here for you, you can book your free session with me HERE.
In part 3 of the series I explore all the Thoughts that would fuel you fighting with your boy.
You must listen to this episode to see how your thinking cycle has you showing up and fighting with your son.
I share the 4 categories I have for all our thoughts. Seeing your thoughts through this lens will help you see which area you are judging in and help you OWN your feelings.
Once you take full ownership of how you feel and how you create your feelings only then you will have access to changing it.
If you need any help with any of this work it would be my honour to help you connect with your son. You can book your free session HERE.
In this episode I share the second concept that is crucial to understand in order to stop fighting with your son.
I give an example from my own life and walk you through exactly HOW you can stop fighting with your son WITHOUT changing HIM or what he is doing.
This is a must listen if you are ready to get to Zero fights and feel so good about your boy, regardless of what he is doing.
If you need any help with doing this work i highly recommend getting coached on your thoughts about your son, you can do so by signing up for a free mini session HERE. talk soon!
Natalia
In this episode I share the one concept that will transform all your relationships and give you a way to change your relationship with your son if you choose to.
I also suggest the 1st step you must take in order to stop fighting with your son. Listen to this episode to find out what it is and how i go about doing it.
If you need any help with this I would be more than happy to help you, you can sign up for your free session HERE.
Look forward to meeting you!
Speaking to your inner child or your inner being, comforting it and paying attention to it. I give an example of my client and my personal example of how others or outside things couldn't fulfill our needs and we had a chance to fill out own need and comfort ourselves/ our inner child.
I would love to coach you on this if you are struggling with meeting your own needs, you can go here and schedule a free session with me any time : https://coachingnatalia.com/schedule-an-appointment/
talk to you soon!
Listen as i share the recent events in my household and the thought that was ACTUALLY stressing me out. If you do this too, you can stop, just like i did in this situation.
My episode today is about this very powerful question. IF answered honestly it can bring great relief to how you are currently feeling. This can be used on the smallest things in life which take seconds to figure out and on the biggest things in life like relationships.
While answering that question, you may have to answer these ones first:
How do I feel right now?
How would i feel in a perfect scenario?
Do I trust that the universe will line things up accordingly for this to happen? Why not?
what would it take for me to trust it fully?
Good luck! would love to hear how this works for you! and also how you can adjust it for yourself. email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com to tell me all about it !
Loving your PMS can simply mean expecting it to be there and not judging it.
Listen here as i give examples and explain how i make it work for me.
It's true if you believe it. And if you believe it then you will see lots of answers come to you, lots of solutions presented to you via other people. All you have to do is ask a question or want a solution to your problem and be OPEN to seeing the answers or solutions. Have fun with this one!
Listen to the advice i gave my son on feeling sad before bed. This helps me and hope it helps you too!
It's true. Believe me. Everyone has this in their head and it's just not true.
If you have a brain then you are facing the same challenges everyone else is.
So don't torture yourself by compounding those challenges by also adding shame as one of them. They are not better than you, they don't have it figured out.
I got the BEST news for you! pst: (whisper): they really, really DON'T! they don't think about what you are doing or what you have done or that stupid thing you have said - at all. They are mostly concerned with THEMselves, THEIR problems, their plans, their children, what OTHERS think of them, etc.
Listen here to find out why this matters.
YES, even that thing that you right now think is IMPOSSIBLE. all you have to do is to allow .00001% possibility that MAY BE it is possible for you, one day. That is all. you don't have to do anything about it now, you have to allow that possibility into your life. Like a seed.
When we make decisions BEFORE the event that is one way we are taking care of how we feel in the future.
When we meal plan we are deciding ahead of time what we will cook and eat so that when the day comes we feel relieved, taken care of and prepared.
The last thing we want to do on a tuesday after work is make yet ANOTHER decision about what to feed our family.
You already have made some decisions ahead of time like: being married, having children and showing up to them, brushing teeth. I want to encourage you to make MORE decisions ahead of time because when you do you are taking advantage of your human brain which has your best interest in mind, long term. Your animal brain wants to feel good immediately, not do any work and avoid anything painful - well junk food and netflix is not really great for us in the LONG run.
SO go make some decisions!
If you are dreading doing the work to get what you want - it's okay. You don't have to want to do it, you don't have to enjoy doing it, you can simply choose to be WILLING to do it. Use this feeling to get to put the work in if you don't feel like doing it. The result will come if you are just WILLING to do it.
Did you know you can decide ahead of time how YOU will feel when your son is frustrated?
You can decide what you will think about him and you ahead of time. Those thoughts will either be useful and make you feel good or suck your energy and have you react and not be kind.
You get to decide now, BEFORE it happens.
Decide what you want to feel and then what you have to think to feel that.
Your car is your brain and your oil is your thoughts.
The quality of your oil will determine how well your car engine runs.
The quality of your thoughts will determine much you enjoy your life.
Change the oil in your car and clean and change the thoughts in your brain regularly.
Here is how you will feel if your oil needs to be changed:
- reactive
- life is happening TO you
- rushed
- tired
- resentful
- blaming, hoping, wishing
- disappointed
Once you change the oil (thoughts) you will feel this:
- satisfied
- proud
- in control
- rested
- excited
- have time for everything
If you are in the first category you must come see me ASAP, because any day that goes by that you are feeling not in control of your life is one less day that you feel unsatisfied with your life. why wait any longer? book your first free session with me HERE.
Do NOT a perfect job, do B - work.
Better done than perfect.
SO is with mothering - don't do a perfect job - and when you do less than perfect work - don't beat yourself up for it. You are human. You did an amazing job for MOST part - SEE that, NOT the .2% of non perfect work : yelling.
So drop the guilt because you still get a GOOD mark on your parenting for that day.
Transform your relationship with this 1 simple exercise.
I explain how you can do it in this episode.
It is simply but not easy, you have to be willing to be vulnerable and wrong, are you up for it? Let's do it.
Every problem is a THOUGHT problem so every solution is a THOUGHT solution. But hear me out on the podcast on how exactly that works.
I give an example between a mom and a teen son, must listen.
Here are the 5 categories that we can breakdown the our life into:
Circumstances - people and things we can't control
Thoughts (we have about circumstances) - we can control, choose and are optional
Feelings (are creating with our thoughts) - and are extremely important because they are they drive all our actions
Actions are what we do , say or not do when we feel that way
Results are what happens in our life when we take that action.
If you are ready to experience this in your life it would be my honour to walk you through this and how it applies to YOUR life and your problems. simply email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com and we can talk!
Being tired is a skill. not eating or drinking or distracting yourself from being tired. JUST feeling tired and BEING with it. It is an important skill because if we can be really good at feeling tired/ feeling not our best then we can allow others to behave the way they behave and no react to it. We can stay true to what we want in our life, which is to not eat to feel better, to not drink to feel better, and also not to snap at others because we are frustrated about how we feel or what they are doing.
Practice being tired my friends. just feel it and allow your body to recharge as you give your body what it needs.
An anxious mom is a mom who is likely to start a fight when things don't go her way. Here are 5 steps that I use for myself when I experience anxiety in the morning.
We often identify ourselves as a certain type of person.
We are either a person who 'works out' or a person who 'doesn't work out but wants to'.
We are either a person who likes sweets or who doesn't.
We are either a person who has 'good' relationships or who has 'hard' relationships.
Listen here to look at the patterns of people who identify as either one of those people to really understand that either one is a choice and the choice YOU can make today.
You can live into the identity you want to embody.
Here are the 3 things i believe that help me deal with guilt.
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At the core of us we are amazing and that is always the truth. We are good, complete, not broken, not wrong.
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Life is 50 % amazing and 50 % awful. That includes feelings and our behaviour.
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I am human and that means i make mistakes and that goes in the 50% awful bucket.
Give all of these three assumptions i know that my road 'back' to myself from Guilt is to accept my humanness when i make mistakes, accept the past in the way it has happened, accept my feelings no matter how terrible they are. If i am not broken then i can return to beleiving then even when i'm feeling guilty, even when i'm worried or ashamed.
As parents we can have rules and expectations of our kids but when we feel dependant on them following those expectations that's when we hurt ourselves.
The truth is we can't control them so when we depend on them to feel good we ultimately feel out of control of how we feel.
Ask yourself "how can i be good either way?"
You can't control what he does but you can be good either way, whether he follows yours 'rules' or not.
Drop the rules, feel better, be in control of how you feel.
Here is a list of fight starter thoughts and it has these things in common:
1. we are not okay with ourselves
2. we are not okay with our son (what he's doing, saying, being)
3. we are not okay with the situation
Listen up to all the different examples i make from my life and from what i heard others make. How these thoughts create our feelings and what those feelings create in our relationships.
Nobody else can do that for you. This is great news. You don't have to rely on them to do that! You can't control what they do anyway! why would you want to put them in charge of how you feel!
Your husband, your son, your mom - are not the ones making you happy or sad. The words you are thinking in your head are. That's it.
Filling each other's bucket is a myth. It's not possible to fill other peoples buckets.
You can't go inside their head and think thoughts that create happiness. Only THEY can do that.
The same way THEY can't go into YOUR head and put thoughts in your head.
You have your bucket. They have theirs. And we are all here together only to feel LOVE for each other.
My podcast is almost 1 and i'm doing a FUN giveaway!!! 200$ Gift certificate to LULULEMON!
Simply give me a review on my podcast in apple podcasts, screen shot it and share it on your IG account and tag ME with @coaching_natalia ! You'll be entered in the give away to celebrate my podcast turning 1 this may.
The winner will be announced last week of May !
This week i'm talking about the common 'i don't have the time'.
You don't have to actually get MORE time to feel like you have more of it. Listen up to see what i mean.
If you are struggling in one area of your life and in other areas of your life things come easily to you - try this out. Listen up to hear some of the examples I use in my life and think about your examples from your life.
I used to resent having to do all the things i have to do as a mom and it robbed me to enjoying being a mom. I'm not saying i enjoy it all the time but i definitely spend more of my time in the 'i want to do this' than not.
Try these on for you and if you need help tweaking them to you or help addressing some of the arguments you have against these i would love to help you overcome them SO that you can enjoy it more.
This question can help you gain perspective when you are sad, upset or can help you help your kid when they are stuck in self pity or simply are not seeing the big picture.
Put this in your back pocket, and use it when needed.
You know you don't have to keep talking if you feel like it's going nowhere. You can just withdraw from the conversation out of love for the both of you. Not in every case but in this specific situation. Listen on to see exactly when it would apply.
I talk about how taking a day to take care of myself brought up 2 of my conditions that just make me feel terrible about myself. Listen to me i'm sure this will help you and help you take off these conditions for yourself and you son!
A "should" is a "could" with shame on top.
I 'should' eat better. - In other words, if i don't then i will feel BAD about me, and when we feel bad about ourselves - that is shame. Unnecessary.
I 'should' earn a lot of money - If i don't then i'm not successful - subtle shame.
I 'should' enjoy time with my kids - If i don't i'm not a good mom.
I 'should' not be tired - If i am then i am doing my day wrong, why can't i figure it out.
VS.
I could eat better. If i don't it's okay. I still feel good about me. I still love me and i'm not going to hold it against myself.
I could earn more money, but if i don't i'm not going to beat myself up for it.
I could enjoy ALL my time with my kids but when i don't i won't make it mean i'm a bad mom.
I could feel energized all day but if i'm tired i will love on me and not judge myself for it.
A 'could' creates a loving environment in your head to make a loving choice for yourself.
Choose a could.
Without this skill you will become the person you want to be BUT you won't even know it.
Train you brain to do this skill, short and sweet but this is a necessary step to become and enjoy becoming a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, making more money or working out.
It only takes as long as 2 sentences. Listen on to find out how i apply it in my life.
And of course if anyone wants any coaching on this i am happy to do so, you can reach me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
This bugs me SO much because I can't bear seeing people label themselves depressed and broken over something that we ALL share as HUMANS. THERE'S NOTHING wrong with YOU if you are feeling NOT GREAT a lot of the time.
AND you CAN decrease that percentage by simply ALLOWING those unwanted feelings to be there and accepting that YEA life is 50% shitty and 50% amazing, and that would take away UNNECESSARY suffering.
MUST LISTEN.
If this is you and you want help applying it in your life i would love to chat with you! email me at natalia@coachingnatalia.com
X + Y + Z = R
Thoughts + Feelings + Actions = Results.
just the right thoughts combined with just the right feelings and actions will create your results.
To make this equation even more fun consider that your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings drive your actions.
This is based on what i have learned from Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School.
Listen up to find out the most important thing i told my son about LOVE and why everybody needs to know it.
If you are someone who keeps saying yes to something and keeps on complaining about it - this is for you. You are either one of two people.
You are either doing it to make others happy - and if that is the case then i would ask yourself if you like that reason and why.
But so often it IS important to us to do this thing, to say yes to this person and to do what we don't like BECAUSE we wan't to BE this person who does this thing - and here's what happens - WE just FORGET that reason.
We forget that we are doing this job to earn money, we forget that we WANT to take care of our children, we forget that we CHOOSE to help this person.
Our human mind focuses on what we don't like because our brains are wired that way and we simply forget that YES this is important to me.
What are you forgetting?
Natalia
When we don't want to admit that we are disappointed or upset or sad - we are turning our back on the child that's inside us. Would we do that to our actual child? If we were to consciously choose would we leave our crying child? My guess is if we are coming from love then we would acknowledge how we are feeling and comfort that child. We have to do the same with ourselves.
When we ignore how we are feeling or try to change it we are not loving or comforting that child. Listen up here to find out my journey through this and how you can apply it in your life.
Skiing and a hot tea after.
Time with the kids and time without them.
Exercise and sitting at the computer.
Long jackets and short jackets.
Dark nail polish and light nail polish.
Contrast is what helps us know what we want NEXT.
It's not bad or negative - it is useful to experience THIS to know what you want NEXT.
Listen up to hear how you can apply it in your life.
If you love what you are hearing here I invite you to come on the journey with me to do the work to love ourselves better and more. email me here to set up a time to chat natalia@coachingnatalia.com
Sometimes its useful to study why you think the way you do and why you believe this or the other, why you feel the way you do. And there are times when it is time for you to change your focus on what it is that you want for yourself, regardless of what the other person is doing.
Change the focus from what annoys you to what you want to do. What the other person is doing is out of your control so they will continue to do what it is that they do, but you get to do that too! What do YOU want to do? Think about that MORE.
and go check out the teachings of Ester Hicks who is channeling Abraham. https://open.spotify.com/show/44mEoioGlvMk087QOfcOYm
Natalia
I think we all could use a little more trust that things will work out and here is how i did it this week. You can do the same for the upcoming 2021 year or for your next date night, weekend or just a workday.
A special Christmas treat for all of you and myself included! I am thrilled to introduce you to Rachel Balducci ( http://rachelbalducci.com/ ), the one who was there for me when i have 2 little boys, tired and not knowing what has happened to my life.
We talk about her approach to her boys and how each boy needs a different one. We talk about how we can tell whether we are accessing the voice of our inner wisdom or God/JEsus or are we just hearing our brain. I love what she has to say about that.
She also talks about her approach to marriage and how we can think about our husbands which i absolutely LOVE. MUST LISTEN. Changed my whole marriage.
WE talk about her NEW book OVERCOMMITTED (https://www.amazon.ca/Overcommitted-How-Chaos-Find-Balance/dp/1593253850) . Must check out. I gulped it up in 2 days and it was great. She speaks the truth. For all catholics and for non catholics.
Rachel is truly an example of what i aspire to be, as a mom, as a career woman, speaker, and just a fun person.
Thank you Rachel for having a chat with me.
RachelBalducci #overcommited #boys #momsofboys #family #god #jesus # catholic #overwhelmed #husband
We all want appreciation but we all want for others to give it to us. Here's how I give myself appreciation and I don't wait for anyone else to give it to me. It is the BEST present you can give yourself. Do it now. Do it for all the small things you do and all the big things. Don't wait. Appreciate you and all you do now.
While listening to our favourite radio station dance party with the kids on the way to school I noticed something that stood out to me and I want to address that hear. Our general thoughts about the year 2020. Was it the worst year or the best year? The year itself (and pandemic and covid19) are not powerful enough to dictate what your life is this year like. What are you believing about this year and do you want to keep believing it. If you want to keep believing it's the worst year of your life i don't want to stop you i just want for you to do it consciously and deliberately, realizing that you are the one choosing it. For some people it has been the worst year of their life and if i were in their shoes i would choose to believe that, those losing loved ones and front line workers, teachers, small business owners.
But i am blessed to have my biggest problems be wearing a mask and missing out on my vacation. And i sure as hell will not agree with the people on the radio who just stamped this year as terrible for ALL of us. No thank you, i have had the best year of my life.
My heart goes out to all the ones who have lost their loved ones to this pandemic, or to doctors and nurses, teachers and those who had to close their doors for business and could not recover. I only wish you have enough support and love to get through this tough time.
Louise Hay saved my life a few times by teaching me how to love myself and i want to share the thoughts that i practice believing every day. I encourage you to listen to this recording as many times as you can in order to rewire your brain to believe those thoughts about yourself as well. If you would like to check out Louise Hay here are a few of the youtube links where you can listen to her.
How to love yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBOijSpYvcA
You can do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Thc5dC1blrI&t=3718s
Power thoughts Louise Hay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lz16YqpWkz4&t=2818s
I hope that your love for yourself with only grow and strengthen with this episode!
louisehay #loveyourself #loveyourson #stopfightingwithyourson
My goal is to eliminated all the UNNECESSARY suffering my people are going through. There is real pain of being human and being sick and loosing a loved one and then there is the suffering that we experience as humans that is UNNECESSARY and i want to help you suffer less. I share my approach to dealing with the pandemic in my life and i hope you find it useful.
This tool is the fastest way to gain perspective when you feel like YOUR LIFE is falling apart, like everything is J U S T so TERRIBLE. Take a deep breath, listen to this and make 2 columns on paper on in your head - one with the facts and one with your story about it.
if you are having trouble separating facts from story then reach out to me at natalia@coachinganatalia.com.
Sometimes when we listen we really want to help and if the other person is not ready to be helped then it is not useful. Listening without having an opinion or without good intentions can be extremely helpful sometimes when a person needs to process what they are going through. As humans it is sometimes extremely hard to do because we love people and want to help them. Knowing when to listen and not help is so impactful on your relationship with anyone and especially with your boy. There's always time to parent and offer your opinions and advice. There is no rush. Slow down and ask 'what do you want to do', 'are you ready to move on or do you need to talk about this more?'. Just these simple powerful questions can help you and the person so much. Listen as i give my own person examples of giving and receiving this 'listening'.
It is natural for us to be afraid of going 'backwards' once we have a hick up, but knowing that it's not possible for us to go backwards will allow you to move out of fear and frustration into asking more useful quesitons like "what is the lesson in this for me?" and "what does the universe want me to practice at this level?". Because everytime we get good at this 'level' of life and relationships we graduate to the next level of difficulty which comes with us feeling like we suck at this game.
But it is actually time to celebrate, you are always moving forward, learning, getting better and therefore 'complete' this level of difficulty and graduate to the next level of challenges.
You got this! Next level baby!
My very special guest this week is Tracy McGinnis Gromen (you can find her here: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.gromen) , my fellow business master minder and a mom, spiritual healer and teacher.
She shares all the ways she has changed the relationship with herself so that she can show up for her 3 teenage boys and connect with them on such a deep level that her 19 year old calls her when he needs help! She is truly an example of what is possible to create in your family with your boys.
We talk about every moms dream to get to a place where we have an amazing relationship - of having your kid come and talk to you when in trouble - which is just that place of openness and acceptance, which (great news!!!) is available to all of us every day!!! ( we don't have to 'wait' for it, we can do it NOW, ourselves).
She talks about how not taking things personally allowed her to take care of her emotional health and parent from a clean space.
Listen up to hear her talk about the tapping technique she uses to release and process emotions; asking her boys questions to support them, advice she gives to someone starting out on this journey; shares a book that really helped her and so much more.
I am thrilled to have you listen to Tracy, enjoy!
This way of looking at ANY relationship gives you complete freedom to FEEL any way you want to feel towards your son (or daughter). REGARDLESS of what they do or say or don't do. Listen up to learn this concept!
One of the main reasons we fight with our son is because of how we talk to ourselves. In this episode i want to introduce this new tool you can use when talking to yourself. The 'of course' tool. Whenever you feel frustrated about your life, about how you are doing your life i want you to use this tool to give yourself a big love blanket hug to really give yourself some understand about WHY you are doing that - by saying 'of course i feel this way, look at what all i'm believing about my life'
How is it OKAY that you are feeling that way?
"Of course i feel overwhelmed because i'm believing it's too much".
Listen here to learn more details about how to use this tool.
The one thing we really want is this, listen up to find out what is it we want and we believe the only way of getting that thing for us is to fight with the other person.
What actually creates that for us is NOT the other person and not through fighting. I give my own example and give you a few options to take away to start practicing today!
Just like the client is always right in the sales world, your SON is always right, why, because that gets you what YOU WANT FASTER - CONNECTION WITH YOUR SON. listen up here how to get it done every time
What are all the steps that we take for us to get to that bulletproof relationship we want with our boy! I talk about all 3 stages we go through to get there AND the most important one. Listen up to find out what is that first most important step we take and that it actually IS a step.
If you are feeling low and stuck make this list. 25 things of things you want in your life. But in this list i want you to include things that you already HAVE and also still want. Like your husband, your kids, your car, your house, your job, your clothes! you bed!
Reset your brain with this list and then put a check mark beside each item that you already have. After cirlce the items that you don't have. You will be amazed at how few things that you want that you still don't have. From THAT place look at your life and ask yourself how you really want to feel about it. today.
We so often tell ourselves a lie that "we HAVE to do" something. I often remind my clients that we don't have to take care of our kids, go to our jobs or be responsible. It's simply NOT true that we HAVE to do all those things. We CHOOSE to do them because we don't like the alternative. WE simply forget that we chose to do them. That's it. So when you catch yourself telling yourself that you HAVE to do it, remind yourself that you actually don't HAVE to do anything. Then ask yourself 'what do i want to do?'?
How can you release some of the daily pressure that builds up as you live your life while still living your life. Here's what i do daily just to quickly check in with how i am feeling, so i can release some of that pressure and feel relief, process the feelings and have space to keep living and feeling. Try it out. a great way to reset yourself, feel safe and organized, and to take care of yourself.
One of the most loving things you can do for yourself is to feel love and no judgement when it comes to the people around you. When you ask them 'why are you doing this' and are thinking you are just being curious if you are not really judging them for what they are doing or how they are doing it and if you are judging them and thinking they should do it differently or not do it at all i want you to notice how when you think that you are simply blocking yourself from loving them.
If you want to create more time where you enjoy their company imagine allowing the to do this thing that you don't agree with and not want them to do it differently.
Don't pretend to be curious and ask them WHY they are doing this, be curious about why you think they should do it differently.
What we think creates connection with others is quality time together with them, great conversations, loving gestures, things we do together, what the other person does for us.
Have you ever noticed that you are feeling loving or connected towards others when you are not with them, or angry and frustrated when you are not with them. That's because the other person doesn't have to be there for you to connect with them. You create connection for yourself when you think thoughts about that person. What thoughts you are thinking will determine what you feel towards them.
Register for the webinar here: http://coachingnatalia.com/register-below/?fbclid=IwAR3uHTJvFKtA68lYH4IgmA4o_LQzQN0bYBpBOeiYppYsKSyaiJNm_7RXrOk
In this episode i talk about how we can not take things personally when someone is upset at us and how we can take responsibility for how we are feeling so that we can choose to feel better when we are ready.
This analogy helps us see the truth that our thoughts always create our feelings and other peoples thoughts create their feelings for them. Whenever we think we upset people or they upset us we are simply confused.
REGISTER for my HOW TO ENJOY TIME WITH YOUR KIDS WEBINAR here http://coachingnatalia.com/register-below/?fbclid=IwAR3uHTJvFKtA68lYH4IgmA4o_LQzQN0bYBpBOeiYppYsKSyaiJNm_7RXrOk
We all have expectations for how other people should behave. Does it always serve us? Not really. Especially when other people don't behave in ways that go against those expectations. Manuals are a collection of those expectations. When you are able to drop the manual for how other people should behave you are doing the most generous thing FOR yourself, because it feels the best to LOVE someone without putting a condition on how they should behave. When it comes to our kids will might still choose to have expectations and consequences but if we do don't make how we feel dependant on how they act - that will serve us the most.
To stop yelling at our kids we first have to stop yelling at ourselves. There is nothing wrong with us when we yell at our kids or ourselves and it only means we are human.
We are moms who are human, which means we are not perfect. And did you know amazing moms yell at their kids? it's true. You don't have to go a day longer beating yourself up for yelling at them, that can stop now.
The only way other people's opinions can ever hurt is if you AGREE with them.
People in our life are our greatest teacher because they expose all of our OWN opinions we have about ourselves that we have to resolve to stop our own suffering.
I share all the specific examples from my life of how i built my confidence and the impact i have today from doing that for myself.
Linsten here to find out how i define confidence in a way that serves me and allows it to create to myself anytime. I talk about a few misleading ideas people may have about confidence that freezes them and doesn't allow them to create the life they want!
The reason why we need to 'be nice to ourselves' is because we are beating ourselves up with these sticks called "I should" this or "I should" that. I give you my 2 lists of shoulds. The first list i made was the shoulds that i have already let go of and the second list is the shoulds that i'm still working on.
Letting go of ALL our shoulds is the ultimate goal because they are not necessary and not serving up to getting the life we want. They pretend to be necessary but they are not.
I invite you to make your own lists and challenge them. Should you actually be doing those things. When you believe them how do you feel and what do you do? Do you actually do what you should be doing. And if you say yes then i bet 100$ that you are doing that because you are thinking something more useful than 'i should'. - you may think 'i should' and then you think 'i'm going to do this'. And that second sentence is what actually gets you to do what you want to do. NOT the 'should'.
Give yourself this amazing gift of owning ALL your negative emotion. Find the thought that is causing that emotion for you and give yourself the credit for feeling that way. Doing that gives yourself ALL your power back in your life. You are no longer trying to manipulate the people and circumstances in your life to feel better. You can feel terrible and know you are causing it with your brain. Listen up of my own example and the difference between the two!
Stop beating yourself up for being this way. There is nothing wrong with you. You are 100% whole and complete and 100% worthy. Nothing can change that. Listen up to hear how i distinguish the different between how you feel when you say 'there's something wrong with me' vs 'i'm amazing and i did this wrong'.
This is a choice you are making and you can decide to believe the second option simply because it serves you in your relationship with yourself and others.
You know those days when nothing is wrong but everything is wrong? Well i talk about how to get unstuck from that terrible feeling. I give you specific tools to use to be nice to yourself that day so you don't take it out on others. Listen up and learn how.
I love this concept because it has changed the way I feel about parts of life i don't love. I talk about what it means to resist reality and what it is creating for you. "Of course this is happening" and "this is supposed to happen" is the best tools you can ever have to take all the extra unnecessary suffering out of your world.
I share with you what has changed my whole life. Why we think we are frustrated is not the real reason why we are. What causes all our suffering is our thinking. Our kids don't cause our frustration, our thoughts, which is just sentences in our head is what causes all our feelings. I give one example about the kids and being frustrated with them. We can play around with our thoughts and try on different ones. This is not!!!, NOT, Positive thinking. This is going to the root of the problem and being aware of what is causing our frustration, so that we can ultimately change it to what we DO want.
If you are tired of being angry at your kids, mom or your husband listen to this!!! This is the FIRST step you must take if you want to be nice to anybody else. You do this today. This is the practice you will have to do for the rest of your life because you are human and you have a human brain, and that means you will mess up and what you will have to do is THIS exact step. Choose to be nice to yourself TODAY.
Love you guys, let me know if you have any questions!