Creating a Stronger Faith & Family: Recent Episodes
Jenie Hunter
Welcome to the "Creating a Stronger Faith and Family" podcast, hosted by advanced certified life coach Jenie Hunter. This podcast is dedicated to helping you strengthen your faith and family relationships through practical tips and advice, inspiring stories, and engaging conversations.
As a life coach, Jenie brings her expertise in personal development and her deep faith to each episode, providing insights and strategies that you can apply to your own life. Whether you're a parent struggling to balance work and family, raising children, a spouse looking to deepen your relationship with your partner, or someone seeking to connect with God on a deeper level, this podcast is for you.
Each week, Jenie will share her own experiences and those of her guests, offering real-world solutions to the challenges we all face in our daily lives. From building stronger communication skills to developing a more meaningful prayer life, this podcast will provide practical tools and resources to help you create the strong, loving relationships you desire.
So if you're ready to take your faith and family relationships to the next level, join us for "Creating a Stronger Faith and Family" with Jenie Hunter.
When your child comes out it can feel hard. But not having your child tell your they are LGBTQ is harder. Not having your child feel like they can live their life authentically is hardest. This episode I teach you a tool that will help you choose your hard so you won't have to experience the harder or hardest.
To find out more help and tips go to Lifted Together Community.
We all want to feel love. What creates more love? You do. It is a skill that I will teach you today. Your ability to feel love for yourself doesn't just happen, it is an intentionally mindset that is a tool you can learn.
If you want to create more love, this is the episode you don't want to miss.
To come learn more tools and to get 1:1 private help www.liftedtogether.com
Most LDS/Christian parents share common dreams for their children. That their child will fall in love. Get married. Have children. They believe in the power of falling in love. They believe this is Heavenly Father’s plan for their child to become their best self and live their best life.
When your child comes out as LGBTQ those dreams don’t just disappear.
So if you are LDS/Christian this puts your brain into cognitive dissonance. The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.
You believe that doctrine of marriage and you also believe that your child would have a more fulfilled life being married.
You want you child to progress in the gospel but you also want them to live a whole full life. In the gospel, we believe that the highest level of happiness in this life and in the next life includes a spouse and creating a family.
This conflict of the brain causes feelings of unease or discomfort. I don’t know of a LDS/Christian LGBTQ parent that doesn’t experience this. You want to be faithful but you also want to support what is best for your child’s well being. This puts us in a space that feels unchartered with the Lord.
Historically LDS/Christian families have felt there were only 2 paths. Some choose to leave the church because they felt like in order to support their child they couldn’t keep their membership. Others felt like in order to stay that they couldn’t support their child, so essence they left their child.
I believe there is a third path and I am seeing more families forge their way on this path. There is no map for this path, so to find your way you have to increase your skills of hearing Him. You learn to trust the Lord in a new way. And most importantly you learn to find grace why you “wait upon him.”
www.liftedtogether.com
The past is over but it still can cause a lot of pain today. The only way your past exists at all is in your thoughts about it now. Otherwise, it doesn’t affect you in any way. All of your thinking affects you deeply in this moment, but what happened to you in your past does not. I teach you 5 tools on how to evolve the pain from your past into more empowering emotions for your mental health today.
To find my tips and to work with me go to https://community.liftandlove.org
When you have an LGBTQ child you will need to make decisions for your family that their won't always be a guide book. Learning how to trust your inner wisdom will benefit you and your child. What is inner wisdom? Call it inner wisdom, intuition, insight or the spirit .Whatever term you use, this is the little voice inside you that represents the real you.Your best self. It’s the you after stripping away society’s standards and expectations — and everyone else’s. This is where you are operating at your best self. Listening to your inner wisdom helps you connect with others on a deeper level. It allows us to be most genuine, most real, and most available for true connection.
To find out more help and tips go to Lifted Together Community.
Learning how to like not just love our child is a skill. A skill I teach you in this episode. The best news is that it has nothing to do with the child changing. It is a 5 step process that I teach you on how to react to your child's actions and words to create love and LIKE.
To find out more help and tips go to Lifted Together Community.
Do you want to learn more tools on how to grow your faith come to my FREE class "How to grow you faith" on Thursday, September 29th at 11 am EST. Grab your spot here.
When your child comes out you might feel angry towards your church or your God. This feels true but terrible. You want to have strong faith but you are not sure how to grow your faith. This is hard because this time you need more peace and love not less! In this episode, I teach you 3 tools to protect and grow your faith. It isn't just being more faithful, it is all about having the right tools to manage your mind.
To learn more on how to coach with me go to www.liftedtogether.com
My brain used to be in the habit of thinking a lot of should-sentences. I should be ......, I should want to......., I shouldn't............It left me feeling horrible about myself and my life.
Why are should-sentences thoughts so destructive?
They are destructive to us because when we think them we are being self-critical and telling ourselves that we are not good enough the way we are.
I teach you 3 steps on how to change your should sentences to more empowering thoughts.
To find out more help and tips go to Lifted Together Community.
Worry appears to be necessary but it never changes the impact of the thing you are worrying about. Your brain will try to sell you that worry is necessary but this is a lie. When my son came out I worried. I worried a lot and about everything. I was eating worry for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You can imagine my indigestion and weight gain!I felt like in order to be a good parent worry was necessary and important. The result of all my worry was a disconnected, distracted, fearful mama. My parenting decisions were made from fear and worry, which made for a lot of parenting mistakes.My worry wasn’t solving anything and in fact it was causing more problems.
This episode I give you 3 ways on how to break-up with worry so you can feel less fear and more peace.
When I think my child is confused and not really sure that they are LGBTQ. I think they are being influenced by their friends and social media so I am afraid to really go all in and support them. I don't want them to commit to something that them might later think was wrong, just for them to be able to fit in to their peer group.
Most LGBTQ children will go through a faith crisis. When this happens how are you reacting. Are you actions coming from having a confidence in God that even though your family’s path looks differently than expected that it is still the perfect path for your family? Are you acting from a place of confidence in your child’s ability that they will find their Savior and God will stay in their story?
In this episode I talk about 4 things to do to help you show up in faith and not fear when your child starts questioning their faith.
How do you handle the people in your life that are difficult? I teach you how to get your power back and how to manage your brain so they have less impact on you.
When you are a parent of an LGBTQ child you will have experience some difficult moments. In this episode I teach you how to make these moments less difficult. The learning of how to allow is a skill and a muscle that I will teach you the components of how to grow.
We all need support and sometimes when your LGBTQ child comes out your old support systems no longer are working. In this episode I tell you where you can find support and then tell you how you can connect on a deeper level when you find the right support.
Here is the link for our monthly support groups. Sign up and you will receive a zoom link.
Boundaries can feel heavy. Most people think we create them because we have toxic people in our lives but creating them from that place will make you feel more powerless. Boundaries are part of all healthy relationships. Knowing how to create a boundary out of love will help you feel feel powerful and create less resentment in your relationships, regardless of how others are acting.
We all fight with reality but most of the time we don't even realize it. It’s hard not being in control. But then the realization comes that we have never really been in control. I give you 7 signs that you will tell you if you are in "fight" or "acceptance" with reality. I also give you 7 steps how to get out of fighting so you can use your energy in more powerful ways.
Katie Byron has a series of questions that she asks herself when faced with stressful thoughts or beliefs:
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it is true?
- How do you react when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Our brains tell us stories and narratives about other people. That is how we interrupt and make sense of live. But are the stories you are telling yourself about your LGBTQ child true?
This episode helps you examine and question the stories we are telling us and gives us the space to edit the story in a way that better serves us.
1. Are you making unfair assumptions about your child?
2. Is the story creating respect for your child?
3. Do you find yourself explaining to others why your child acts the way they do?
4. What would be the chapter headings for your past story about your child?
5. What would be the chapter headings for your future story about your child?
Touching the hot stove is an analogy I use for teaching my children. I tell my children "don't touch the stove it's too hot", meaning that something is a bad idea. Lately, we have had the opportunity to experience a couple of "touch the hot stove" moments with our children.
These moments are when parenting can feel the most frustrating and exhausting and you probably feel like you aren't getting paid enough for this job! This episode I teach the 3 magic questions to help you show up at your best in these hot stove moments.
When you have an LGBTQ child there might be a lot of experiences that you could take offense. The problem with that is feeling irritated and offended never feels good. The key is to learning the "no offense" superpower so you can feel peace and grace regardless of the circumstance. I will teach you the power of learning not to be offended.
Our brains hate change. I teach you how you can change your brain and get comfortable to the "different" reality of being an LGBTQ family.
We all have a vision of what kind of parent we should be. I did. I tell you my story what happened when I let go of how I thought I should be and embraced the parent I am.
Our brains like to wallow in self-pity. The problem with that is that it keeps us stuck and powerless. Learning the 7 tools to manage your pain and to move yourself out of self-pity will help you feel empowered and creative for any circumstance.
Regularly feeling sorry for yourself over a long period of time can also lead to depression. And it can even lead to physical health issues like coronary heart disease. Even more alarming; an article written in The Independent states that self-pity can be as bad for your heart as smoking 20 cigarettes a day!
Here are some questions that have helped me see how my current circumstances can actually be beneficial to me:
- How can I make myself a priority so I have more to give others?
- How can the future be better because of this?
- What do I love about my life?
- What am I grateful for?
- How is this perfect?
- How is this happening for me not against me?
- How can I make choices that benefit me and everyone around me at the same time?
- How can I make what is happening fun?
In this episode, I will teach you how to stop avoiding conflict and how to process it in a healthy way. We can't avoid conflict without it causing damage to ourselves and our relationships. Conflict is not the problem it is how we handle it, that makes it a problem. In this episode you will learn how to be a rockstar conflict manager and have the skills to up level all of our relationships.
Do you find you are comparing yourself to others? If you answered yes, good news, your brain is operating normal. We are made to compare to others BUT comparing ourselves to others is a joy stealer. In this episode, I will teach you how to override your natural drive to compare and how to replace it with much healthier habits.
How do you know if you are being a good parent? In this episode, I teach you how to measure rather you are a good parent and why it is so important that you feel like you are a good parent. This skill can be the game changer in the relationship with yourself and your child.
Having a healthy marriage is one of the best gifts we can give to our children. But statistically children can be marriage killers. Learning how to protect your marriage when your child comes out as LGBTQ is foundational for thriving as a LGBTQ family. I will teach you 4 tools to protect your marriage.
If you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lifted Together Community is the place for you. For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community
For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts Jenie Hunter Coaching
Part 2 - Most people want to feel connected to their children, and in fact, the more you feel connected to them the healthier your child will be emotionally. I will teach you the 4 skills to be the "Epic" parent is the best place to parent from. To enjoy vs. dislike you child, feel peace instead of fear, in-relationship vs. rejection and confidence vs. confusion. I have the process to create these emotions.
If you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lifted Together Community is the place for you. For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community
For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts Jenie Hunter Coaching
Most people want to feel connected to their children, and in fact, the more you feel connected to them the healthier your child will be emotionally. I will teach you the 4 skills to be the "Epic" parent is the best place to parent from. To enjoy vs. dislike you child, feel peace instead of fear, in-relationship vs. rejection and confidence vs. confusion. I have the process to create these emotions.
If you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lifted Together Community is the place for you. For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community
For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts Jenie Hunter Coaching
Shame can be felt for a number of reasons - but it is always caused by our thoughts.
Feeling of shame comes from a false belief that you are flawed, or that you are doing it wrong, or something has gone wrong.
My shame was caused by the false belief that our family was now flawed and we couldn't be a good LDS family. I worried about what others would think and how we would fit into our community. These thoughts were causing me to feel shame but I also felt shame because I felt like I had failed as a parent and I had disappointed God.
These painful thoughts I was thinking were not thoughts that were from God and they weren't true or useful. The problem with feeling shame is that it is an emotion that never comes from God. Satan is always the author of shame.
Questions to ask yourself to combat shame:
How do you feel when you believe this thought?
What result in your life do you get when you think of this?
Is this thought creating useful thoughts?
Could you be wrong about this thought?
Can you find evidence for the opposite of this thought?
What else could you believe?
If you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lifted Together Community is the place for you. For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community
For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts Jenie Hunter Coaching
Do you remember that feeling when you first put on prescription glasses? How you immediately saw things differently. How you hadn't even realized how much you were missing.
I remember noticing that the leaves on the trees had different shapes and how beautiful they were.
My vision is so impaired that I could be considered legally blind. My eye doctor recently informed me of this fact. But because my vision is correctable I’m not technically legally blind.
Everyday I feel gratitude when I put in my contacts. They immediately change how I experience life. They correct my eyes. In an instant, I go from blurriness to clear vision. They give me the ability to see things for how they really are.
This is what it is like for parents of an LGBTQ child. When your child comes out your whole life changes in an instant.
Before my son came out I thought I knew how to love. I thought I loved others unconditionally. I was wrong. I didn’t even know how many blind spots I had until I became an LGBTQ mama.
When my son came out I wish I could tell you that the overall emotion I felt was love – it wasn’t – I had a lot of blind spots that needed to be corrected.
These blind spots caused me to feel a lot of negative emotions. A lot of hurt, fear and anger. None of these feelings felt anything close to how love feels.
These blind spots were coming from thoughts like: This is unfair. Something has gone wrong. This won’t end well. This is not how life should be. Why is this happening?
With my son coming out, the Lord had brought me into the classroom of learning how to correct my vision. I was going to learn what my personal blind spots. Until I faced these blind spots, I wouldn’t be able to love my son how he deserved to be loved - unconditionally.
If you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lifted Together Community is the place for you. For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community
For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts Jenie Hunter Coaching
Clean pain is pain felt from difficult circumstances in life, it hurts deeply and profoundly, but it relates to things as they actually happening— the facts of the situation and the reality event.
Dirty pain, is taking difficulty from life and blaming yourself or others for it, arguing with reality, should-ing all over it, or just generally thinking “things should be different and how things are is wrong.”
How do you clean up your Dirty Pain?
1. Stop resisting the pain. We create more pain for ourselves when we don’t slow down and process the emotions. When we resist sadness, grief, anger it can grow into anxiety and depression.
2. Connection – Find a friend, therapist or coach that you can have a safe, non-judgmental place to process all your emotions. Having a space to just say your thoughts out loud – gives you awareness of what is happening in your brain.
3. Accept Reality – Become aware of how you are actually thinking and telling yourself about your child being LGBTQ. Are you conscious of your thoughts about the circumstance?
4. Compassion. When I stopped telling myself to stop feeling a certain way is when I begun to heal. I let myself feel grief when I needed to. I stopped judging myself for what emotions I was feeling. I started talking to myself like my best friend and this gave me a place to heal.
5. Question Your Thoughts– I started to question my thoughts. Some of my thoughts about myself and others actions/words were not useful or even true. I noticed that once I started questioning my judgement of myself it became easier to drop judgement for others.
6. Humans are a Hot Mess!- Remember we are ALL humans - and humans are messy. When people said things that felt hurtful for myself or child I try to process my hurt and then go to them with curiosity not judgement . Some of these conversations were life changing for them by helping them see a different perspective. They were always life changing for myself because my love for others increased because I gained great understanding about that individual- and understanding leads to love.You either love someone or you don't understand them.
f you are looking to learn the tools and to get the coaching that will help your LGBTQ family thrive while gaining access to other families on this journey than the Lifted Together Community is the place for you. For details on how to join go to www.liftandlove.org/community
For additional support and help please reach out to us on our IG accounts Jenie Hunter Coaching
Parenting on our best days can seem like the hardest job in the world. When you throw in a child who is struggling with their sexuality it can make even the most confident parent feel off their game.
What is Your Parenting Style -is it connecting with your child?
As your child tries to come to terms with their sexuality there will be a lot of upheaval for both you and your child. This can lead to some unhealthy dynamics in your parenting. Most of the time I have seen my clients try to parent in either two ways: Authoritative or Permissive. In this episode, I teach you how to parent in a way that creates greater connection with your child.
If you are like me - when your child came out you might have some moments when you realize that the way you love others might need some work. I had a vision of what my son’s life would look like. How he should live his life. Once he stopped doing those things, I realized that some of my love had been transaction.
The transactional mindset indicates that love is something to be given (when earned), and taken, as opposed to experienced and received.
It is easy to love our kids when they are doing what we think they should be doing. The real work of being the parent is loving your child when they aren’t living their life how you think they should be living.
In this episode I give you 5 secrets on how to move your love to unconditional from conditional.
Telling the extended family about your LGTBQ child can bring up a lot of fear for you and your child. In this episode I give you 9 tools to help you make a plan that will give you confidence and peace for the conversation. Handling this moment in the right way can actually leader to stronger relationships with your extended family relationships.
Here is a great check list on the areas you should make sure you have covered with your LGBTQ child.
Every parent wants to do it right. Meaning, love and support their LGBTQ child. Here is a list of 10 mistakes that I have coached many of my clients through.