The Journey Within: Recent Episodes
Thuli & Mandisa
No topic is off limits as we take the journey within. Join us and let us know what you think and feel.
Getting offended and someone being offensive - do we get easily offended?
Why is that so? Is there another way to seeing it? Can we be in charge of our responses? how?
Today we chat about how certain situations in our lives play themselves out and what can we do or not do when they do.
Enjoy
Love Mandisa + Thuli
It feels good to be back!
Yes we both have been caught in phases of over functioning in our relationships whether marriage or friendships even with family relationships. Why do we do it? How do we do it? Does it benefit us, in what way? What can we learn from it going forward?
Enjoy!
Love Mandisa + Thuli
How often do I take time (Steal time) to just be present? To read. To rest. To think. To just be.
There are countless demands on our time daily whether from work, family and life in general that can leave us feeling depleted. However in this episode we engage on how being intentional about how we spent our time can help us to be productive, rested and thoroughly enjoying the life we have NOW.
Have a listen and let us know your thoughts& feelings
Love
Mandisa + Thuli
- This week we chat about cheating, how we view it, how each person in the relationship or partnership gets impacted by it.
- What can happen if we treat a relationship like a business that goes through challenges within and outside the organisation, does the business just close shop just because things are not working out? so why must a relationship end just because one party has chosen to have their needs met outside the primary relationship?
- Listen in and give us feedback
Love Thuli & Mandisa
- This is one of many series that we will embark on in the "unfreezing" process.
- We have all done some things or use some words that hurt others - the people we've hurt sometimes carry the emotion/s and words used in that encounter for days/months/years. That is a heavy burden to carry for anyone and it's incumbent on us to make good and "unfreeze" that moment and release the people we've hurt from the burden they are carrying.
- In this episode we discuss using the ice cubes that we all have access to - to unfreeze ourselves and those we have hurt with our words and actions.
- Have a listen and tell us your views
Love Always
Thuli & Mandisa
- Is disruption really such a bad thing?
- Does disruption means the end? Or does it mean the start of something new and different?
- What if it signals that something is not working and there's a need to change? What if it signals a chance to grow and evolve?
- Disruption is good.
We discuss disruption, how we view it in relationships and life.
Listen in and give your thoughts.
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
- When we allow ourselves to ask "why" continuously, we are able to get to the root of the matter at hand.
- Its crucial to ask "why" especially during a period of transition; when there's so much uncertainty and when we feel out of balance. Asking "why" somehow bring us back to centre; to what matters most, to what drives us; to the motivation behind our decisions.
- In this podcast we share our experiences when we asked "why?"
Listen in and let us know your views.
Love
Mandisa & Thuli
- Today, I (Mandisa) am sharing a personal experience with forgiveness.
- Forgiveness of the other person or self-forgiveness is a tough and difficult thing to do especially when the hurt or pain is deep.
- I share a method that I have come across via meditation that has helped me slowly and gently forgive myself and those who have caused me harm
- Do listen and let me know of your thoughts.
Love
Mandisa
- We continue chatting about the role the environment play in our lives whether at home or work this week.
- We are all about taking full responsibility for our role in every scenario... even when it comes to our environment
- This week we ask the questions:
- Do we research the environment we want to work in to see if it support our values or not?
- Once we're already in an environment, can we change the environment or influence the environment?
- Do we do the exercise of what's within our control in any environment and what's outside our control and what's making it hard for us to thrive in this environment before we jump ship?
Do have a listen and let us know your thoughts.
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
- It is easy to blame things outside of us for what's happening to us or what has happened to us.
- The difficult thing to do is to take the journey inwards and ask ourselves what role do we or did we play in creating an environment that is detrimental to our well-being.
- Going inwards vital in helping us take full responsibility for our environment, our actions and inactions.
- This week we ask 3 important questions that can help us respond to the environment we find ourselves in:
- Question 1: Do I want to be here?
- Question 2: What are my values?
- Question 3: What's my current reality? What are the values of my environment vs my personal values and can these values meet each other halfway?
Listen in and let us know what you think..
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
Today we use the analogy of cornflakes and muesli to differentiate the types of people we have in our lives.
What do the "cornflakes" people offer to our lives vs the "mueslis"?
Which one are you to the people around you?
Listen in and lets talk.
Love Always
Thuli & Mandisa
- What can we learn from co-existing with those who have different views, beliefs to us?
- What can we learn from the different feelings that we have within ourselves?
- listen in and let us know your views
Love Thuli & Mandisa
- Today we chat about what it's like to be the only one in a relationship seeking therapy.
- What no one tells you about the fact that once one person has done the work, yet the environment and the other partner has not shifted...then what?
We had fun during this episode, and as usual we shared our therapy journeys.
Tell us what you think?
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
This is not an easy podcast topic to tackle especially 'cos Thuli & I are parents and as much as we love our kids, we are also awake of the boundaries that need to be set as the kids get older. Our roles as parents are vital yet not all-inclusive - we can vouch for our kids however where do we draw the line? Can we vouch for them as being good partners / lovers/husbands/wives to other people?
Listen to our view on this.
Drop a comment/suggestion
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
Self-forgiveness is the hardest process that we each have had to do in our healing journey. Sometimes we find it easy to forgive others and relish the thought of someone else forgiving us however when we have to forgive ourselves, it becomes a whole new conversation and we just do not know where to start.
This week Mandisa ask a question that has helped her in her healing journey whenever she is triggered or observes a situation that stirs something in her: "What is it about my internal state that this person is bringing to my attention?"
Your thoughts on self-forgiveness are always welcomed.
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
This week we tackle the "pleasure" topic.
How does the conversation that parents sometimes struggle to have with us as children when it comes to sex affects how we relate to sex, intimacy and pleasure as a whole? What has your experience been? We share our experiences and have some fun with this topic.
Listen in and let us know what your thoughts are.
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
In this episode we dive into three key areas:
1. The power of writing things down whether negative emotions or positive emotions
2. The power of asking "why" when facing challenging circumstances
3. The power of self-forgiveness
We share our thoughts on the key areas above and we use our experience to bring light to the small victories and the challenges that we still need to face and ultimately overcome in our healing journey.
Have a listen and let us know what you think?
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
We recorded this podcast while on a hike - how beautiful! I informed Thuli: "you know Thuli I need to ask X what he meant when he said "What would they say?" who are "they"? Why should I care what they say? How do they have access to our lives? Who told them that their opinion has space in our lives?"
Those questions inspired the podcast about who "they" are - where they feature in our lives and what boundaries if any do we need to have when it comes to "they" or "them".
As always it was an eye-opening talk and we both learnt something from it as we continue to grow and evolve.
Happy Listening!
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
The holiday season is upon us and with it brings different feelings for us in our relationships as couples and in our relationships with our extended families.
The end of the year is a great time to reflect on the year that has been and of planning ahead for the new ahead. However its never that simple as we have to navigate how we spend the time and how we communicate with our loved ones our wishes, needs and expectations.
As a communicator we need to be aware that its our responsibility to check how the information landed at the head level (by communicating the facts); at the heart level (by communicating our emotions); at the stomach level (what's in it for you and the other person); at the feet level (what must happen next?)
Listen in and let us know what you think.
Love Thuli & Mandisa
How do we each create a home for ourselves within ourself? How do we create safe, welcoming, affirming space within ourselves? How do we make sure that we do not create homes in other people's home and thus being stranded when others lock us out?
What rooms do we have to create within our homes?
(1) Forgiveness room? for all those times when we need to forgive ourselves for self-harm, shaming ourselves etc
(2) Affirming room? for all those times where we need to reaffirm ourselves that we are good, we are worthy, we are lovable, we are deserving
Once you have built a home within yourself, how do you protect your home from those who disrespect your home?
Listen in and let us know what you think.
Love Thuli & Mandisa
Today we continued on the mirror vs window analogy to go deep and unlock the fact that when challenges arise in our relationships whether with family, friends, colleagues etc, do we go to the window and blame someone or something outside of us? or do we go to the mirror and take full responsibility of our chosen actions?
Do we relate the incident or story as " You said this. I felt like this. I chose to do this." thus taking full responsibility of our feelings and our responses as well while acknowledging what the other person did or say.
Listen in and let us know what you think?
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
The mirror reflects who we are both the good and the bad. The window shows us what's outside of us.
When we meet challenges do we go to the mirror to see the true reflection of what is? or do we look through the window and blame others or something outside of us for the challenges we are facing?
Listen in to how we interpret these two things in our lives.
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
We started this conversation with the question I posed to Thuli about the fact that when we're busy telling the people we love or when they are busy telling us what we should be, and how we should behave, we rob ourselves of loving them as they are; they also rob themselves of loving us as we are.
What if, instead we catch those that we love doing good and furthermore we name and label the good they are doing and make it known to them?
Listen in and tell us what you think?
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
In this episode we discuss how it is for us to be part of the peopling experience in public space, the challenges and how we recalibrate or come back to ourselves after those peopling experiences.
We are work-in-progress when it comes to the "peopling" experiences and we're aware that it will take time for us to be completely comfortable in that space. However we are proud of the strides we make on a regular basis and the check-ins we each need to do bring ourselves back to ourselves. So how do we communicate this with our loved ones?
This episode was emotional... however we are better because of it.
Listen in and share your thoughts as well.
Love Thuli & Mandisa
This week we dive into the topic of how the language we use creates our realities. Does the language we use close us off some experiences or does is open us up to new experiences?
What if we imagined the best scenario beforehand? What does that best scenario look like? What does that best scenario feel like? What is our intention when going into that new scenario?
Listen in and let us know what you think and feel?
Love Thuli & Mandisa
In this episode we catchup on our "peopling" experience; how has it been like to "people" in our homes and also outside our homes. What are the takeaways from our experiences? What are the things we realised we did not want in our "peopling" experience?
Listen in and let us know what you think.
Love Thuli + Mandisa
What a heavy week we had as a country! With all the events happening around us? Today I chat to Thuli on how has she been during this whole ordeal? We discuss how we each have been affected by the riots and how we are feeling. We also discuss how important it is for each and every one of us to check-in with our immediate families and with the rest of the extended family so that everyone gets a chance to voice how they are feeling.
What else has been affected by these events?
Happy listening! Do share your thoughts.
Love
Thuli and Mandisa
This week I share with Thuli my feelings after the incident we had at home where people came into the house and stole electronics while we were sleeping.
The key things for me were as follows:
1. Opening myself up to the feelings I had
2. Naming each and every feeling
3. Just feeling every feeling without any resistance
4. Comforting myself through the process
I discuss the three main feelings I had and how I "sat" with them; acknowledge their existence and allowed them to be there.
Enjoy the episode.
Love Thuli and Mandisa
The acronym R.A.I.N introduced by a renowned psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach stands for Recognise, Allow, Investigate, Nurture. Today we chat about how we can use R.A.I.N to show compassion and understanding to ourselves whenever we face difficult situations or emotions. Before we jump into finding a solution, we want to acknowledge what's here first, sit with it.
Have you tried R.A.I.N. before? What was your experience like with it?
Enjoy the chat.
Love Thuli & Mandisa
We've heard this phrase a lot of times in different circumstances and today we apply it to ourselves to our personal lives.
What are the take- aways in today's podcast?
- Habits are consistent action we do consciously and unconsciously.
- Intimacy is not just about sex however its about closeness
- Whatever we practice daily is strengthened daily
- the first and important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.
- When we feel a certain level of discomfort, we ask ourselves positively disruptive questions to help us find our way back to ourselves
What was your take-away from today's podcast?
Love Thuli & Mandisa
Today we catch-up with Thuli after putting into action what we discussed last week (1) setting the intention; (2) choosing an anchor; (3) coming up with the exit strategy and (4) informing the people we love about our intention.
Listen in to find out how it went for Thuli and how setting the intention changed the way Thuli engaged in social settings and what we each can take away from this encounter.
Love
Thuli & Mandisa
We cannot stress enough the importance of setting an intention prior to an engagement (what do I want to achieve by this meeting or attending this function), deciding on the anchor which will help bring one to the present moment (the anchor can be your breath or something else which helps during those moments when one is being challenged/ being triggered) and communicating the exit strategy as well with your partner (for example when my cup is full, I'll undo my scarf, that's my cue to say I'm ready to leave). Thereafter we both decide on the way forward.
Preparation is key when it comes to how best we can handle those challenging moments in our lives.
Love
Thuli and Mandisa
When we are silent, we are choosing to be quiet on things that matter to us and spaces where we find ourselves in. Its an inside-out movement since we make a decision to not verbalise our views and opinions or not show our support or lack thereof of something.
Whereas being silenced is when someone informs or direct us to be quiet and not raise a voice or an opinion on something that we truly care about. It can also be an instance where certain structures are in place that forces us to be quiet, to not stand up for something nor support a course that we truly care about.
So whether its in relationships with our spouses/partners, friends, family or work; are we choosing to be silent or are we being silenced?
Happy listening
Love Thuli and mandisa
Whether we want love, kindness, peace from others, the question is, can we give it to ourselves first before expecting others to give it to us? How would we know what love, peace, kindness feels like unless we give it to ourselves first? It starts with us first.
What happens when we have given ourselves the love that we deserve yet our partners, spouses still cannot give us what we most need? Do we just call it quits or do we see it as an opportunity for us to learn acceptance?
Can we learn to accept our partners, spouses, friends, children for who they are right now instead of expecting them to be what they are not?
Lets have the conversation.
Love Thuli and Mandisa
How many times are we fully present with the ones we love? Do we have to tell them that we are fully engaged or can they sense it from our energy as we walk in the room? When we are with out loved ones, do we carry the love we have and feel inside into those precious moments? In this episode, Thuli takes us through the interaction with her mom which affirmed the essence of who Thuli is - the one who loves effortlessly.
Enjoy the episode and do share your thoughts on the topic.
Love Thuli and Mandisa
What does it mean to vibrate higher for you? How do you go about making sure that in every instance, whether at work, at home, with your friends etc, you vibrate higher? What are your self-check criteria or standards to ensure you vibrate higher? Thuli takes us through her three keys elements that helps her vibrate higher - (1) self-awareness; (2) minimum standard check; (3) conversations that helps connect the dots. Thuli's self-check criteria are (1) peace - does this interaction / conversation or collaboration brings me peace?; (2) time - does this interaction / conversation / collaboration takes away time from what's important to me? or does it add value / more time to what's already important to me?; (3) financial freedom - does this interaction/conversation /collaboration contribute to my financial freedom? or does it takes away from my financial freedom?
Come with us on this journey and do share your thoughts.
Love always
Thuli & Mandisa
What does it mean to you to be present? What are the feelings or emotions that stops you from being present? What are the triggers that robs you of being present. Today we discuss with Thuli the following:
- The triggers that keep taking us to the past. what feelings do those triggers invoke?
- How do we speak to ourselves when the past feelings comes knocking on our door? Are we gentle or hush towards ourselves? What words do we use to get us back to the present moment?
- Do we set aside meeting/s with those we are about to let them in to our journey leading us to the present? How has those meeting been?
- Are we present enough to truly listen when those we have hurt or cause emotional harm to speak to us? Do we take in their words and emotions in rebuilding our relationships?
let us in to how you feel about today's topic. How do you make sure that you are present in every moment with yourself, your friend, your family and colleagues at work? How do you speak to yourself when the past thoughts and emotions take you back to who you used to be?
Love always
Thuli and Mandisa