Our Modern Emotional Lives: Recent Episodes
Sheila Tully
A podcast that teaches you how to recalibrate your thoughts and feelings in order to change anything in your modern life with your host, Behavior Change Specialist and Coach, Sheila Tully.
I've been sitting with something big lately, and honestly, it moved me enough that I decided to teach a last-minute class about it. I called it Something is Changing, because that's exactly what so many of us are feeling right now, even if we can't quite name it. In this episode, you'll hear the recording of that class, where I walk through five signs that what you're experiencing isn't random or wrong, it's actually you tuning in to something real. I talk about why this moment in history feels so disorienting, and why I believe that's not a bad thing. I share the simple but powerful difference between navigating from fear versus love, and why your inner world, not the outer chaos, is where your steadiness lives. And I'll leave you with a short, beautiful exercise you can use anywhere, anytime, to come back to yourself. If the world has been shaking you lately, this one's for you.
Show Highlights
- Recognize discomfort as part of a natural transition, not a problem.
- Acknowledge that the shift is happening within you first.
- Use expansion and contraction as your decision-making guide.
- Choose thoughts that support growth over fear.
- Trust your inner authority instead of external validation.
- Practice being fully yourself without overcorrecting.
- Act as if the change is already available to you now.
Resources
Sheila's Website
Sheila's Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
I've been thinking a lot about where we look for power, especially when life feels uncertain or unstable. So much of what's happening right now is asking us to stop relying on external sources for security and to begin building something sturdier from the inside out. In this episode, I talk about what it really means to switch power sources and why feeling powerful is less about control and more about self-trust. I explore how helplessness takes hold, why pretending to be strong doesn't actually work, and why growth so often feels uncomfortable before it feels grounding. And I'll share five simple practices you can start using right now to reclaim your agency, strengthen your inner authority, and become someone you can rely on, even when the world around you feels chaotic.
Show Highlights
- Separate facts from the story your mind creates so you can feel grounded instead of scrambled.
- Stop asking questions that loop and start asking ones that restore agency and forward movement.
- Notice how your thoughts feel in your body and choose narratives that create steadiness and trust.
- Spend intentional time in nature to recalibrate your nervous system and reconnect with coherence.
- Stop outsourcing your power to other people's unmanaged minds and choose your own inner authority.
- Opt out of cultural norms that drain you and begin building a life that reflects what you truly value.
Resources
Sheila's Website
Sheila's Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
The winter solstice feels like a natural invitation to pause and take stock of where our attention has been living. In this episode, I reflect on what it means to move into the next year with more intention, steadiness, and inner authority. This is a conversation about how we relate to our thoughts, our attention, and our inner world in a time that constantly pulls us outward. I share a handful of reflections that have been shaping my own thinking lately, especially around staying grounded, thinking for yourself, and creating a life that feels true rather than reactive. My hope is that this episode offers you a quiet reset and a few new ways to meet whatever the next season brings.
Show Highlights
- Reclaim your attention as something sacred rather than something to spend unconsciously.
- Observe your thoughts instead of letting them quietly run your life.
- Create more than you consume to strengthen your sense of agency.
- Approach prayer and intention as a declaration, not a plea.
- Allow the full 50-50 of human experience without forcing positivity.
- Notice where authenticity feels unsafe and try being ten percent more honest.
- Use stillness as nourishment by letting your mind regularly rest and reset.
Resources
Sheila's Website
Sheila's Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
Lately, I've been thinking about what all this personal growth work is really for. Every book, class, retreat, or new habit we try seems to have one job to return us to who we really are. In this episode, I talk about why authenticity is the true point of self-development and how so many midlife women lose touch with their natural compass. I'll share what blocks authenticity, from people-pleasing and perfectionism to the nervous system patterns that make truth feel unsafe. And I'll walk you through five simple steps to peel back those layers so you can reconnect with your nature, speak smaller truths with confidence, and live with more integrity and ease.
Show Highlights
- Follow the quiet pull of what you love and let it guide you back to your authentic self.
- Recognize how conditioning and "shoulds" have pulled you away from your natural desires.
- Notice where you edit or shrink yourself to feel safe, and name the fear underneath it.
- Regulate before you relate so your body feels safe enough to tell the truth.
- Start small by saying the smallest true thing to build trust with yourself.
- Replace "shoulds" with principles that reflect your values and integrity.
- Practice daily micro-bravery—cleaner no's, truer yes's, and gentle self-trust.
Resources
Sheila's Website
Sheila's Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
My Feel Better class is in session right now, and we’re talking about what it means to live from the inside out and to decide for yourself what you want to think instead of looking outside for the right answer. It’s not easy, because most of us were raised to follow an invisible rulebook of what we should and shouldn’t do, and who we’re supposed to be. In this episode, I talk about what happens when we stop living by invisible rulebooks and start living from the inside out. You’ll hear how “shoulds” are tied to old programming and people-pleasing habits, why approval once meant survival for women, and what it really means to make choices from self-trust instead of guilt. I’ll walk you through five simple steps to release those outdated rules so you can move through life with more freedom, confidence, and ease.
Show Highlights
- Live from the inside out by thinking for yourself, not seeking outside approval.
- Notice how the invisible rulebook of “shoulds” keeps you performing instead of creating.
- See people-pleasing as old survival programming you can now outgrow.
- Replace “I should” with “I choose” to align with your true values.
- Pause when a “should” appears and ask who decided that rule.
- Expect discomfort as you stop seeking approval and choose differently.
- Say no to one “should” this week and practice living by your own rules.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
The other day I was cleaning up old files on my computer and stumbled across a video from April 2020, right at the beginning of the pandemic. In that conversation, a friend shared how she wanted to launch her coaching practice but felt paralyzed by fear. She told me she’d wait until the world felt safer and more predictable before taking action. At the time that sounded logical, but five years later I realized how familiar that thought still feels. Life is uncertain, and it’s easy to believe we should put our dreams on hold until conditions improve. In this episode, I share why that kind of thinking comes from the lower mind, the part of us that tries to keep us safe by predicting danger, and how we can shift into the higher mind, where imagination and choice create new possibilities. You’ll hear how to connect with your future self, why visualization is such a powerful tool for shaping your life, and what small decisions you can make today that bring your future self closer.
Show Highlights
- Connect the idea of fear to the lower mind and notice when it’s keeping you stuck.
- Shift into the higher mind by choosing thoughts that support the life you want.
- Use visualization to rehearse qualities like calm, resilience, and capability.
- Anchor your identity in who you want to become instead of reacting to circumstances.
- Write a letter from your future self to make that version of you feel real and reachable.
- Make small daily choices that align with your future self, even when uncomfortable.
- Act as if your future self already exists by practicing her qualities right now.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
You know those times when everything looks fine on the outside, but inside you feel heavy, restless, or just not yourself? That’s where I found myself this past week walking the beautiful streets of Washington, D.C., enjoying great food and weather, yet carrying this undercurrent of dread from all the news streaming in. It reminded me how easy it is to get pulled out of center by the world around us, and how important it is to know how to bring ourselves back. In this episode, I share five grounding practices that help when life feels overwhelming. These are simple tools, but when practiced, they shift your entire experience of life, even if nothing outside of you has changed. If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or like your peace keeps slipping away, this conversation will guide you back to steadiness, clarity, and a sense of calm you can trust.
Show Highlights
- Use your breath to calm your nervous system and bring your mind back to the present.
- Shift from juggling everything at once to narrowing your focus on just the next step.
- Move your body, change your chemistry, and get out of looping thoughts.
- Curate your inputs by limiting news, social media, and negativity.
- Lean on connection instead of trying to carry the load alone.
- Recognize that groundedness is a skill you can practice anytime.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
You know that moment when you step outside, feel the air on your skin, and it’s like a weight you didn’t even know you were carrying suddenly lifts? In this episode, we talk about why that happens not just because nature is beautiful, but because you are nature, and finding your way back to it is really finding your way back to yourself. I share how our modern lives have pulled us away from our authentic nature, and why leaning back into who you really are at your own pace, with your own gifts, and your own desires is essential. We’ll look at four simple yet powerful practices to help you drop the mental noise, notice what lights you up, honor your natural rhythms, and allow more ease into your life. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overworked, or disconnected from yourself, this conversation will help you remember that living in alignment isn’t about striving harder. It’s about letting life carry you where you’re meant to go.
Show Highlights
- Spend intentional time in nature with no agenda except being present.
- Notice the activities and moments where you feel most alive.
- Honor your natural pace instead of forcing yourself into someone else’s rhythm.
- Let something in your life be easy and stop making things harder than they need to be.
- See yourself as part of nature, not separate from it, to reconnect with your authentic self.
- Recognize that living in alignment is more powerful than striving harder.
- Use your emotions and inner knowing as guidance toward what you truly want.
- Move with the natural current of life instead of paddling upstream.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Feel Better Masterclass
I’ve been sitting with the intensity of what’s happening in the world right now, and it’s clear to me that the disruption we’re witnessing is an invitation. An invitation to evolve and grow as a species. We need to finally start leading from wisdom rather than fear. In this episode, I take a wide-angle view of the chaos and ask what role each of us is meant to play. I explore how we’ve overvalued masculine energy and underappreciated the feminine. I emphasize how rebalancing these forces in our own lives is the key to healing ourselves and the collective. This isn’t about being passive. It’s a focus on trusting that stillness, beauty, and compassion are powerful tools to calm our lives and world.
Show Highlights
- Choose collaboration over competition to build connection.
- Offer grace and compassion, even when it’s difficult.
- Commit to your own mindset work to create real change.
- Hold a vision for what is possible and dream forward.
- Trust more and let go of the need to control everything.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Have you ever felt like you’re doing all the right things like keeping it together, staying productive, being the “good girl” and yet underneath it all, you're carrying a quiet heaviness you can’t quite name? In this episode, we bring that invisible pressure into the light. I walk you through the four most common emotional loads I see in the smart, capable midlife women I coach, and share how these internalized stories are not facts, they're thoughts we can learn to question. Together, we’ll look at what it means to truly turn down the pressure by shifting how you relate to yourself, your past, and your future. If you’ve ever felt depleted while looking composed, or wondered who you’d be without all the doing, this episode will help you reconnect with what’s true and possible for you now.
Show Highlights
- Name the invisible pressures you’ve been carrying to start releasing them.
- Stop tying your worth to productivity or perfection.
- Let go of the need to appear “fine” while struggling inside.
- Recognize grief for unmet expectations as a valid part of midlife.
- Question the old “good girl” rules that no longer serve you.
- Shift how you tell your story to lower the pressure you feel.
- Strengthen your relationship with yourself by choosing self-validation over external approval.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Have you ever felt irritated by someone’s behavior but told yourself to just get over it because you knew your thoughts were creating your feelings? In this episode, we look at why that kind of self-coaching can backfire and how embracing your full emotional experience is actually a path to deeper empowerment. I share a real story from a coaching session that highlights the difference between avoiding negative emotions and using them as a growth tool. Together, we’ll explore why it’s not only okay to feel things like irritation or anger, but why those feelings are often invitations to show up more honestly for ourselves. This isn’t about fixing your thoughts so you never feel bad again. It’s about learning how to sit with what’s true, get curious about your reactions, and decide from a place of inner alignment how you want to respond. If you’re ready to stop overriding your emotions and start listening to them, this episode is for you.
Show Highlights
- Recognize irritation as a valid emotion that can offer insight and fuel growth.
- Stop using thought work to bypass or suppress uncomfortable feelings.
- Give yourself permission to feel without judgment or shame.
- Understand the difference between reacting to emotions and responding with intention.
- Break free from the pressure to always be nice, agreeable, or conflict-free.
- Use thought work to access clarity, not perfection.
- Empower yourself by taking responsibility for your emotions without blaming others.
- Trust that honoring your feelings strengthens your relationship with yourself.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Every bottle of raw milk on Charlotte Smith’s micro dairy is spoken for before the cows leave the barn, and that success grew from a farm her family once lost in the 1980s crisis. In this episode I talk with Charlotte, a fifth generation Oregon farmer turned marketing and mindset coach, about how healing her children’s eczema with real food sparked a business that now funds itself and inspires thousands through her Profitable Mindset podcast. We break down the daily thought work that guides her pricing, why viewing marketing as a service builds trust, and how paying farmers a fair price reflects the true cost of ethical food. If you want practical steps to pair purpose with profit, Charlotte’s story offers a clear starting point.
Show Highlights
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Growing up on a fifth generation Oregon farm and watching it collapse during the 1980s crisis.
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Returning decades later and starting a three cow raw milk micro dairy from scratch.
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Seeing raw milk clear her children’s severe eczema and her own chronic infections.
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Selling every bottle in advance and realizing mindset was the real competitive edge.
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Replacing scarcity thoughts with possibility to price products for profit.
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Turning customer questions into generous marketing that builds an email list and loyalty.
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Launching online courses and the Profitable Mindset podcast to coach farmers worldwide.
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Celebrating clients like the flower farmer who paid off a mortgage through daily thought work.
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Revealing the true costs hidden behind supermarket prices and government subsidies.
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Explaining why paying local producers fairly keeps communities and ecosystems healthy.
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Using a simple morning mindset practice as the foundation for every business decision.
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Closing with advice to pair clean food clear thoughts and courageous pricing so purpose and profit can thrive together.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
Charlotte Smith
The Profitable Mindset Podcast
Charlotte Smith - Instagram
Five Mistakes Farmers Make that Cost Them Thousands of Dollars - Master Class
Have you ever felt a quiet nudge—an inner voice urging you toward something that didn’t quite make sense on paper, but felt deeply right? In this episode, I’m sharing what it means to trust that voice, even when the world around you says otherwise. We’ll explore how letting go of old conditioning, shifting from fear to trust, and tuning out the noise of collective opinions can help you reconnect with your inner wisdom. You’ll learn how to ride the wave of rapid change with more ease, why silence and stillness are powerful tools for clarity, and how to use your thoughts to steer your life in a direction that truly serves you. If you’re ready to stop resisting the flow and start aligning with who you’re becoming, this episode is for you.
Show Highlights
- Trust the inner voice that guides you—even when you don’t fully understand it.
- Let go of old conditioning and putting others ahead of you.
- Shift from fear-based thinking to trust and alignment.
- Use your thoughts to steer your experience of change and uncertainty.
- Detach from the collective noise and reconnect with your own truth.
- Choose what you consume intentionally—let it nourish, not deplete you.
- The future is shaped by how we manage our minds.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
- Upgrade to a Modern Mind For a New World; Part 1
My Stroke of Insight TED Talk Jill Bolte Taylor
Have you ever had a moment that completely shifted how you see the world? In this episode, I’m sharing a story from college that quietly but powerfully shaped the work I do today. We’ll explore how learning to question what we’ve always believed can open up new ways of thinking, why developing a more flexible and conscious mind is essential in today’s world, and how we can move away from fear-based decision-making. You’ll learn why your thoughts aren’t always facts, how to handle negative emotions with more confidence, and why living authentically is more than just a buzzword—it’s a necessary path to wholeness. If you’ve ever felt the urge to reprogram your thinking and reconnect with your truest self, this episode is for you.
Show Highlights
- Our minds are constantly being programmed by the world around us.
- Continue learning and train your mind.
- Become conscious of what you let into your mind.
- Distinguish facts from beliefs, and develop your own informed opinions.
- Increase your capacity to experience negative emotions.
- The future will require your authenticity.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
How do we stay grounded and resilient in a world that feels increasingly chaotic? In this episode, we’re exploring the balance between fear and spaciousness—how our minds react to uncertainty, why fear can become overwhelming, and how to shift towards a more open and centered way of being. We’ll talk about recognizing when information is helpful versus when it becomes a source of stress, learning to navigate emotional ups and downs without suppression, and finding ways to contribute meaningfully without losing ourselves in overwhelm. Whether you’re feeling the weight of current events, struggling to regain a sense of calm, or simply looking for practical ways to strengthen your mindset, this episode will help you cultivate clarity, resilience, and inner peace.
Show Highlights
- Recognizing fear as a signal of perceived threat and spaciousness (love) as a centering force.
- Becoming aware of dominant emotions, limiting news consumption, and maintaining balance.
- Acknowledging and managing negative emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Staying informed and engaged in democracy while avoiding emotional overwhelm.
- Prioritizing personal well-being as a crucial contribution to society.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity
How do we get out of our rigid thinking patterns and open ourselves up to a more subtle, flexible way of seeing the world? In this episode we’re looking at black-and-white thinking—how it influences our decisions, fuels anxiety and limits our growth. We’ll get into why our brains seek certainty, how society conditions us to think in binaries and the ways this mindset keeps us stuck. Most importantly we’ll uncover practical ways to shift towards an open, empowered way of thinking that allows complexity, self-trust and ease and confidence in life. Whether you’re navigating personal challenges, rethinking old beliefs or just looking for a fresh perspective this episode will help you see the beauty in the grey areas of life.
Show Highlights
- Examining the brain’s natural drive for predictability and comfort.
- Recognizing how black-and-white thinking can provide shortcuts but also limit growth.
- Understanding how rigid thinking fuels anxiety, self-doubt, and superiority.
- Learning to challenge and reframe binary thinking to embrace complexity.
- Developing strategies to think more flexibly and cultivate self-trust.
- Accepting uncertainty and struggle as essential parts of transformation.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity
Have you ever felt unmoored, uncertain, or even stuck during a big life transition? I know I have. Midlife often brings questions about purpose, identity, and what comes next, leaving many of us feeling lost. But what if this isn’t a crisis at all? What if it’s an opportunity to recalibrate and rediscover ourselves? In this episode, I’m sharing insights and tools to help you transform midlife uncertainty into empowerment. We’ll talk about how self-compassion, processing emotions, and reframing our thoughts can open the door to clarity and intention. If you’re ready to embrace this transformative period and create a more fulfilling path forward, join me. Let’s do this together.
Show Highlights
- Point kindness and attention toward you.
- Put your attention in your body and heart space.
- Learn to tolerate feeling unmoored.
- Learn how to reframe midlife from a crisis to an awakening.
- Discover the power of self-compassion and patience during transitions.
- Understand why processing emotions is key to empowerment.
- Transform feelings of uncertainty through mindset changes.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity
As we begin the new year, many of us are considering the changes we want to make in our lives. But how can we develop goals that will stick and also reflect who we truly are? In this episode, I'll share some tips on how to make meaningful resolutions by tying them to our values. We'll look at why standard goal-setting often falls short, and how adopting self-compassion, inquiry, and a better understanding of our emotions can lead to long-term improvement. Isn’t it time to find clarity about what you really want and set resolutions that actually work? If so, tune-in to make goals and objectives that represent who you really want to be.
Show Highlights
- Learn how to align your goals with your core values for deeper fulfillment and lasting change.
- Understand the role of the lower mind in keeping you stuck and how to consciously choose new patterns.
- Shift your mindset and set your resolutions based on a positive motivation.
- Discover how curiosity, not willpower, is key to making lasting changes in your life.
- Reframe your approach to New Year’s resolutions by focusing on the person you want to become.
- Explore your values and choose one to embody for 2025.
- Find clarity on what you truly want by examining your values and the motivations behind your goals.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity
- Why It’s Hard to Hate Something AND Change It
How do we step into our power and redefine leadership in a way that feels authentic to who we are? In this episode, I’m joined by Amanda Jane, a senior talent acquisition manager who shares her inspiring journey of embracing her unique leadership style, overcoming self-doubt, and finding a new sense of empowerment in her mid-60s. Together, we’ll explore how childhood experiences and societal expectations shape our self-concept, and how we can reclaim our personal power by rewriting the stories we tell ourselves. We’ll dive into the importance of self-awareness, the challenges of overcoming limiting beliefs, and the beauty of leading with kindness and collaboration. Amanda’s story is a testament to the transformative power of choosing to value yourself and your way of showing up in the world. Whether you’re navigating career challenges, personal growth, or just looking for ways to feel more grounded and confident in your life, this episode offers insights and inspiration to help you move forward.
Show Highlights
- Embrace your unique leadership style by valuing kindness, collaboration, and authenticity.
- Challenge the stories you tell yourself to overcome self-doubt and step into your personal power.
- Learn how to reduce unnecessary suffering by becoming aware of your thoughts and shifting your mindset.
- Discover the strength in asking for help and the power of collaboration in achieving your goals.
- Redefine leadership by balancing strategic thinking with compassion and a personal touch.
- Find empowerment in valuing your own way of doing things and trusting that it’s enough.
- Realize it’s never too late to rewrite your story and build a life that reflects your true self.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity
How do we reconnect with ourselves and each other in a world that constantly pulls us apart? In this episode, I’m diving into the stories we tell ourselves, how our brains naturally create the illusion of separation, and how we can shift that perception. We’ll explore the power of living authentically, embracing both the challenges and the beauty of being human, and learning to see beyond the surface of division. I’ll share practical ways to reframe your mindset, stay grounded in connection, and discover a sense of unity in your everyday life. It’s about finding balance—between honoring your individuality and understanding that we’re all deeply connected. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, this episode is here to inspire and guide you.
Show Highlights
- Recognize the brain’s role in creating separation and learn to see beyond it.
- Embrace the right hemisphere’s ability to perceive unity and connection.
- Celebrate life’s meaningful moments to strengthen relationships and joy.
- Choose your mindset intentionally, even in challenging circumstances, to shape your reality.
- Contribute to collective consciousness by fostering thoughts of peace and empathy.
- Live authentically by embracing mistakes and using them as opportunities for growth.
- Reframe external narratives with hope and positivity to create a more empowered inner world.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Free Guide: Three Steps to Clarity
My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey
Man's Search for Meaning
In a world full of noise and tension, how do we stay grounded and focused on what really matters? In this episode, I’m diving into the challenges we’re all feeling right now—from navigating big emotions to finding peace in a divided world. I’ll share practical tips for managing social media overwhelm, embracing creativity to recharge your mind, and staying connected to your values when everything feels uncertain. We’ll talk about the power of letting go of rigid thinking, respecting different perspectives, and focusing on what you can truly influence. If you’re looking for ways to feel more grounded, confident, and in control, this episode is for you. Let’s figure this out together.
Show Highlights
- Embrace emotions as valid responses to life’s challenges
- Create boundaries with social media to protect your peace
- Engage your creative mind to find balance and renewal
- Respect diverse perspectives without rushing to assumptions
- Use your imagination as a tool for possibility, not fear
- Focus on what you can influence in your daily life
- Strengthen relationships by focusing on empathy and connection
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
As we reflect on our paths to growth and fulfillment, we often focus on outcomes, comparing ourselves to others or striving for more achievements to feel successful. But what if the true journey lies in embracing the present process and redefining our own benchmarks of progress? In this episode, I’ll share the pivotal lessons learned over the past 100 episodes, like the importance of prioritizing the journey over results, practicing daily mental resilience, and recognizing that growth comes with new challenges at every stage. We'll discuss how to let go of rigid goals, foster genuine empathy, and navigate life with a mindset that values steady progress over perfection. Whether you're looking to find clarity, build confidence, or live with more ease, these insights can offer a powerful framework for living authentically. Join me as we celebrate the path itself, and uncover ways to thrive in the life you're creating right now.
Show Highlights
- Focus on the process, not just the outcome
- Embrace growth by facing new challenges at each stage
- Trust that "thought hygiene" works like brushing your teeth; it's a daily practice
- Release perfectionism; everyone’s life is a bit messy
- Understand that being slightly ahead is enough to help others
- Approach work with genuine care rather than just techniques
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
As we journey through life seeking positive change, many of us focus on trying harder, gathering more information, or waiting for external circumstances to shift. But what if the key to transformation lies in understanding the deeper mechanics of change itself? In this episode, we'll explore the essential components of lasting change, particularly the role of emotional maturity and the power of conscious choice. I'll share practical insights about why simply wanting to change isn't enough, and how taking full responsibility for our emotions can transform our daily experience. Whether you're looking to reduce stress, improve relationships, or simply feel better in your life, understanding these foundational principles can make the path forward clearer and more manageable. Join me as we discover how to move beyond just trying, into actually choosing and creating the change we desire.
Show Highlights
- change happens through consistent daily choices
- honestly evaluate what is and isn’t working
- practice making better small daily choices
- learn to be content with 40% of what you want
- follow your own standards and don’t compare
- take full responsibility for your emotions
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
As human beings, we're shaped by our experiences, but sometimes, the meaning we attach to those experiences can keep us stuck in cycles of insecurity and doubt. But what if the story we’re telling ourselves isn’t the full picture? In this episode, we'll explore how shifting our perspective—choosing new beliefs—can transform how we feel and show up in life. I share real-life examples, showing that while we can't change the past, we can absolutely change how we think about it today. By recalibrating our thoughts, we open the door to greater emotional freedom and power. If you’re ready to step into the driver's seat of your mind and life, you’re in the right place. Stay tuned as we explore the incredible potential within you.
Show Highlights
- our brain's negativity bias highlights painful events.
- identifying the source of pain isn't enough; we need perspective shifts
- our current beliefs shape how we feel and behave in the present
- the “thought ladder” can train the brain to believe new empowering thoughts
- our brains often resist positive change due to familiarity with old patterns
- we have the power to choose our thoughts and beliefs
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We are living in an extraordinary time where we are pioneers in exploring the vast potential of our own minds. Experienced navigators know that a tiny change in direction can land them in a completely different place. The same goes for our ways of thinking. A tiny change in our thinking can create a ripple effect in our lives. If you would like to be at peace and have a little more control check out my Feel Better Masterclass. Today’s episode explores a way to expand our thinking. Our brains default to the story that they’re used to. What if we took the time to ask, how is the opposite true? I’ll share client stories and examples of how intentionally exploring other ways of thinking can change how we feel and the trajectory of our lives. Ultimately, we are the ones who are in control of our thoughts.
Show Highlights
- small changes in thinking can lead to significant life improvements over time
- our brains tend to repeat established stories, even if they cause suffering
- thought work involves examining our thinking patterns and challenging them
- use "How is the opposite true?" to challenge limiting beliefs
- take the time to intentionally explore other ways of thinking
- we can choose what we want to believe
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
FEEL BETTER Master Class Begins September 8th Registration Opens August 18th
I'm thrilled to introduce my special guest, Kristine Ashworth, a recent graduate of the Feel Better Masterclass. This transformative six-week program, designed specifically for smart midlife women, teaches behavior change using cutting-edge neuroscience research and cognitive behavioral science. Kristine, a retired teacher with 32 years of experience who now works part-time as a writing tutor, will share her journey through the masterclass. We'll explore how she applied the concepts to transform her approach to emotions, relationships, and personal growth. Whether you're dealing with perfectionism, people-pleasing tendencies, or simply wanting to feel more authentic and empowered, Kristine's story demonstrates how the Feel Better Masterclass can make a real difference in your life.
Show Highlights
- why the most important work you can do is on yourself and your own mind
- understanding that 50% of our emotions are comfortable and 50% are uncomfortable - and why this is normal
- how allowing and accepting uncomfortable emotions gives you authority over them
- the process of changing ingrained thought patterns through consistent reminders and practice
- why growth often involves short-term discomfort for long-term gains
- the impact of investing in your mental wellbeing versus trying to fix external problems
- practical applications of neuroscience concepts to manage anxiety and improve relationships
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
FEEL BETTER Master Class Begins September 8th Registration Opens August 18th
Caring for aging loved ones can be incredibly challenging. That's why I've invited Mary Remmes here today. She is a life coach specializing in helping adults navigate the complexities of caring for aging family members. Her extensive background in nursing home administration makes her a trusted expert on this topic. Caring for aging parents is a demanding experience that many of us will face. Our family has first-hand experience, and I've seen countless clients grapple with similar challenges. Mary compassionately reminds us that one in five adults is involved in elder care. You're not alone. Caregiving can be emotionally taxing and lead to self-doubt. In this episode, Mary shares insights and resources that have helped me and should help you.
Show Highlights
- pay attention to interactions between staff and patients and other staff at facilities
- our highest priority for aging parents is safety, theirs is independence and autonomy
- siblings may have different perceptions of relationships with parents
- let go of notions of fairness and equal distribution of caregiving responsibilities
- loneliness is a significant issue for the elderly that can't always be resolved from outside
- it’s crucial to have conversations about end-of-life wishes and care preferences
- focus on loving aging parents in the moment to navigate complex caregiving challenges
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Mary Remmes Website
Being Mortal by Atul Gawande
When Your Aging Parent Needs Help by Leslie Kernisan, MD
Aging Life Care Association
Benefits CheckUp
Most of you know that I teach a masterclass called "Feel Better," designed to help smart, midlife women adjust their thoughts and emotions. This episode, drawing from my masterclass, is all about the true purpose of our lives and achieving emotional maturity. We often think happiness is our ultimate goal, but the true purpose lies in growth. Through increased awareness, challenges, and discomfort we grow and increase our emotional maturity, which leads to increased well-being and life satisfaction. Today, I’ll share insights on life's purpose, overcoming challenges, and practical applications for continued self improvement.
Show Highlights
- emotionally immature people aren’t aware that it’s a problem
- people pleasing is a sign of being imprinted by an emotionally immature person
- challenge and discomfort help us grow
- long-term well-being comes from learning how to tolerate negative emotions
- emotional maturity is the path to increased well-being and life satisfaction
- adults need guidance and coaching too
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Three Steps to Clarity: How to Know What You Really Want
This is a rebroadcast of Episode 47. During the pandemic when we were under lockdown, I took an incredibly powerful class from Anita Moorjani. Anita has an amazing story that really inspired me in several ways, so I am spending today’s episode sharing what I learned from her class, including but not limited to the idea that being spiritual is at our core, that a challenge can come with a blessing that we might not see until we are past the challenge, and the importance of loving oneself. We are here to always be learning and growing, so it is my hope that sharing a few of the key inspirational lessons that I learned from Anita’s class will be helpful to you as well.
Show Highlights
- background information about Anita Moorjani
- all about the class I took from Anita
- the most important things that I learned
- why we should learn to trust and love ourselves
- how to increase your self-love
- how what I learned from Anita ties into Thought Work
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Do you ever find yourself thinking, "This is so hard," and feel overwhelmed by the challenges in front of you? It's a thought that might seem true but often goes unexamined. The real question is: What do we create when we think that thought? Do we like the outcomes it brings? By becoming aware of this thought and understanding that it’s an opinion, not an objective truth, we can start to see how it might not be serving us. Negative emotions, not the tasks themselves, often make things feel hard. In this episode, we’ll learn how to become aware of these thoughts and turn down the volume on negative emotions.
Show Highlights
- our negative emotions are what makes it hard
- take a look at what you are thinking, believing, and expecting
- turn down the volume on unnecessary negative emotions
- you are always in charge of your emotions
- saying something is hard makes the experience hard
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Do you ever feel like there's something important you want to do, but you just can't make it happen? Do you get mad at yourself for not sticking with it or making a lasting change? In spite of our best efforts, it can feel impossible to change. A lot of this boils down to the thoughts we’ve accumulated over time. Actions don’t arise out of the blue; they are based on our thoughts, which lead to feelings, which lead to actions. In this episode, we’ll explore how to override those negative accumulated thoughts and create a state of action leading to the outcomes we desire.
Show Highlights
- thoughts and feelings create our energetic state
- thinking defeated thoughts is an energetic state that creates reluctance
- understanding and mastering emotions is the secret to all change
- women in particular need to look at change and how they feel
- it's the programming that needs to transform (slowly)
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
If you're struggling with a problem or stuck thinking about a conflict or issue with another person, always start by asking yourself, "What am I thinking?" Your thoughts are what create feelings of worry or irritation. It's all coming from the thoughts you are thinking now. More analysis isn't always the answer. That's why, in this episode, I'm going to give you a few alternatives for when you are struggling and stuck in a state of irritation, annoyance, or worry.
Show Highlights
- feelings of worry are created by our thoughts and what we're thinking
- breathing resets our nervous system without using our thinking mind
- when you stop thinking, you give space to a dimension that is beyond your thoughts
- when struggling, it’s helpful to express our mind to someone we trust
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
This week I share a story from a client who has been making great progress with Thought Work and learning how to turn down the volume on worrying. Just as she thought she was making headway, she started the same pattern of worrying and fretting about a new thing. Sound familiar? This is exactly how the brain works. And understanding this is the difference between creating the lasting change you desire and quitting on yourself.
Show Highlights
- the importance of understanding the lower mind
- shifting attention and redirecting focus positively
- how awareness empowers decision-making and positivity
- why we should align with the higher mind
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Tune in this week as we revisit episode 43 of the show, “Claiming Your Own Authority.” Sharing insights from my recent Feel Better master class, I rewind to episode 43 to delve into the profound importance of tuning into our inner world amidst societal pressures. Exploring the concept of "claiming your authority," I invite listeners to envision themselves as the authors of their own lives, emphasizing the power of aligning decisions with personal values and desires. From navigating career choices to managing daily schedules, I highlight the liberating shift that occurs when we prioritize self-awareness and intentional decision-making.
Whether it’s your first time hearing the episode or if you are also revisiting, join me as we unravel the myth of perfection, embrace the beauty of imperfection, and embark on a journey towards a simpler, more empowered life.
Show Highlights
- why claiming your own power is so fundamental as an adult
- why you should identify your personal values and what you want
- how to be the author of your own life
- humans have memory banks so that we can learn from them
- reminder that we are meant to make mistakes
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me for a truly inspirational episode this week as I sit down with Becky Garner, a life coach with a remarkable journey from addiction to empowerment. Becky shares her intimate story of overcoming addiction, revealing the deep struggles and pivotal moments along her path to recovery. From battling depression and opioid addiction to finding hope through coaching, her resilience shines through.
Becky and I delve into the transformative power of coaching, exploring how it offered Becky the tools to navigate cravings, manage pain, and cultivate self-acceptance. Becky imparts wisdom on breaking free from self-judgment, finding purpose in struggle, and fostering growth in oneself and others.
Tune in as we uncover the profound lessons and insights from Becky's journey of healing and empowerment. If you're ready to embrace change and discover the tools to navigate life's challenges with resilience and compassion, this episode is definitely for you, and be sure to visit Becky's website for additional resources on overcoming self-judgment and embracing personal growth.
Show Highlights
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the power of coaching: how Becky's journey emphasizes coaching's transformative impact on addiction recovery
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resilience in struggle: Despite challenges, Becky's resilience shines through in her journey.
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holistic transformation: how coaching highlights holistic approaches, aiding mind management and emotion regulation
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overcoming self-judgment: why ditching self-judgment is pivotal for progress in addiction recovery and personal growth
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having faith in the journey: trusting the struggle as part of the journey and how that fosters growth and resilience
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Find Becky:
Becky’s Website
Freebie: https://www.beckygarnercoaching.com/stuck
Email Becky: becky@beckygarnercoaching.com
I delve this week into a crucial topic that often sparks confusion: the distinction between emotions and nervous system reactions, and why it's essential to discern between the two. I guide my clients through understanding how their thoughts create emotions and how these reactions are intertwined with their nervous system's responses, but here's the thing: you can't effectively address your thoughts if your nervous system is in overdrive, so listen as I explore techniques to calm the nervous system, from somatic practices to cognitive approaches, empowering you to take charge of your emotional state and harness the power of your higher mind. By embracing discomfort and cultivating a supportive relationship with yourself, you'll unlock the pathway to growth and step into your true potential. Tune in to discover how to navigate your internal landscape and transform fear into courage on your journey to personal empowerment.
Show Highlights
- emotion vs. nervous system reaction: understanding the distinction and why it matters
- safety first: Only tackle thought work when feeling calm and curious.
- somatic practices: how to use body-focused techniques to calm the nervous system
- empowerment: Take control of your responses and create safety in your mind.
- courage over comfort: why it's important to embrace discomfort for growth
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Do you ever feel like your day is hijacked before you even open your eyes? This week on the podcast, I am diving into the power of mornings, inspired by those oh-so-popular morning routines. Don't worry, though – I am not here to add 21 steps to your already busy day - just one simple, game-changing step to kickstart your morning and set the tone for your entire day.
Join me as we explore the ancient wisdom of the Stoics, Marcus Aurelius, and the art of directing your attention. It's all about that first splash of consciousness, so please tune in to discover how to reclaim control, set intentions, and master your mind.
Show Highlights
- morning routines: the obsession with productivity and wellness
- the power of attention: how to direct focus for a better day
- one-step system: Begin by not thinking; focus on breath.
- setting intentions: how directing your thoughts shapes your day’s outcome
- taking control: You get to decide where to place your attention.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me this week as I dive deep into the complexities of parenting and emotional pain. As a coach for smart midlife women, I explore the universal experience of suffering for our kids and offer insights into separating clean pain from unnecessary suffering.
From unraveling guilt to increasing emotional tolerance, I present eight transformative ideas to navigate the intricate journey of being a parent. Delve into paradoxes of emotional pain, the power of forgiveness, and the importance of self-compassion. Discover how embracing your truth and releasing self-blame can lead to profound growth and ultimately, finding relief in your own life.
Show Highlights
- reminder that parenting comes with clean and dirty pain
- how to transform emotional pain by understanding its source
- understanding the power of forgiving yourself and others
- the importance of recognizing and challenging false beliefs causing suffering
- embracing the paradoxes of life to find deeper happiness
- why your greatest contribution lies in feeling better about your life
Resources
Sheila’s WebsiteSheila’s Instagram Page Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me on a reflective journey this week as I explore the four transformative gifts I gave myself that shaped my entrepreneurial journey and personal life. From investing in self-directed learning to embracing authenticity and love, I'll share insights and practical tips for crafting a fulfilling path tailored to your desires.
Discover the power of asking the right questions, trusting yourself, and prioritizing what truly matters. Let's embark on a quest to unlock our potential and design lives infused with purpose, joy, and abundance.
Show Highlights
- Investing in Self: Prioritize learning what interests you, guiding your own education.
- Self-Questioning: Transition from seeking external advice to trusting your own answers.
- Individual Approach: Embrace your unique path, avoiding comparison and societal norms.
- Choosing Love: Decide to amplify love in your life, focusing attention and appreciation.
- Thoughtful Gifts: Give yourself what you truly desire, respecting your own wishes for enduring happiness.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We are diving this week into the whirlwind of life, from the excitement of my daughter's college acceptance journey to the intriguing tales my husband uncovers while writing his latest book about... wait for it... the tuba.
Amidst it all, I find profound joy in my coaching practice, guiding others through life's twists and turns, so join me as we explore the power of envisioning our futures, challenging the status quo of our thoughts, and embracing the transformative potential within us. Plus, don't miss out on the upcoming “How to Feel Better” master class.
Show Highlights
- why the key to success and growth is to spend more time thinking about your future and less time about your past
- your thoughts shape your reality, so it's important to focus on what you want to create
- how the lower mind hinders growth and change by dwelling on past problems and fears
- the power of the higher mind in creating success
- the importance of embracing your imagination
- allowing yourself to feel the emotions of achieving your goals = manifestation
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
“How to Feel Better” Class
Discover how perceptions shape reality and how questioning beliefs can transform our emotional landscape.
Listen as I discuss the importance of not solely relying on external validation and instead focusing on examining your own beliefs for personal growth, understanding that everyone's opinions are just perspectives, not absolute truths. It's time to prioritize self-reflection and learning, recognizing our minds as our most valuable asset, and I invite fellow midlife women to join me in this journey through my upcoming master class available on my website.
Show Highlights
- external feedback doesn't define you; it only reflects others' perspectives
- how emotions signal internal beliefs and how exploring them leads to growth
- the importance of challenging beliefs
- how smart midlife women can transform by prioritizing self-reflection and learning
- reminder to sign up for my six-week master class, "How to Feel Better”
Resources
Sheila’s Website Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com“How to Feel Better” Class
Join me today as I tackle a crucial life skill: disappointing people. As adults, we grapple with this, especially women conditioned to be nice and compliant. I get it; it's hard, but here's the key - disappointing others or ourselves is an inevitable choice.
Listen in as I discuss how to navigate this discomfort, drawing from my own struggles. Trust me; it's worth the temporary unease for the long-term benefit of living authentically. Dive into this episode for actionable tips on embracing authenticity, and remember, the better you feel, the better life you'll have.
I also want to be sure to make you aware of some exciting news. I am launching a game-changing class, "How to Feel Better," tailored for smart midlife women. It's a six-week journey where I share transformative concepts to elevate your emotional well-being, so be sure to go check that out.
Show Highlights
- announcing a six-week master class, "How to Feel Better”
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the importance of applying information (80%) over just acquiring it (20%) for real transformation
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the class is an investment in emotional well-being, leading to sustainable change
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the essential adult skill of disappointing others, challenging conditioned habits and fears
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how living authentically involves overcoming discomfort and saying no when needed
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com“How to Feel Better” Class
Join me this week as we dive deep into the concept of being “present.” We often hear about the importance of presence, especially in our most cherished moments, but what does it truly mean to be present, and why is it so powerful?
I break down the dynamics of our brains, the right hemisphere capturing the essence of now, while the left brain constantly compares to the past and projects into the future. Our ability to be present is our true superpower, aligning us with the vitality of life itself. Listen as we explore how to starve the egoic mind, unleash our creative agency, and make presence the primary force in our lives.
Be sure to also stay tuned to the end for information about a special guide on gaining clarity about what you truly want. Let's flip the paradigm and steer our thoughts towards the life we desire.
Show Highlights
- the power of being present and how it helps foster awareness
- the role of the Ego and understanding its function
- how to flip the paradigm and shift from thinking about the past and worrying about the future
- how to help foster an ability to direct your thoughts purposefully and gain creative agency
Resources
Sheila’s Website Sheila’s Instagram Page
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I recently stumbled upon Fred Rogers' 1969 testimony before Congress, a poignant moment during a tumultuous time in history. Reflecting on the backdrop of political assassinations and war, I found his words resonating even more deeply. Watching his documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor? became a powerful reset, reminding me of the timeless relevance of his teachings. Amidst societal challenges, Rogers emphasized the importance of embracing ourselves, a message transcending age. He believed in respecting childhood, opposing sensory overload, and empowering children to make choices for themselves.
As we grapple with current complexities, his wisdom holds true - turning off what's loud and scary, acknowledging progress, and understanding the imperfections of childhood. As adults, we, too, often have to parent ourselves, appreciating the journey and offering self-acceptance. Ultimately, Fred Rogers encourages us to focus on the invisible essentials of life, turning our attention inward in a world clamoring for external distractions.
Show Highlights
- Excerpt from Fred Rogers' 1969 Congress testimony defending children amidst national grief
- Rogers' teachings, initially for children, hold universal relevance in adulthood.
- emphasis on turning off overwhelming content, empowering children and adults to make choices
- Childhood isn't meant to be perfect; challenges shape us into resilient adults.
- encouraging a shift in focus from external distractions to our inner lives
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
In this week's episode, I share a surprising revelation from a conversation with my 88-year-old mother during the Christmas break. Despite a life filled with accomplishments, she confessed to not having a to-do list or a structured way of planning her time, which led me to reflect on the societal pressure to equate self-worth with productivity, a mindset ingrained in our culture.
As we age, transitioning from a season of constant busyness to a quieter phase becomes challenging, so listen as I explore the toxic relationship between our self-value and the demands of time, emphasizing the importance of shifting focus from getting more done to caring for oneself. Drawing from personal experience, I discuss my approach to time management, emphasizing intentional living, self-awareness, and the importance of a calm mind.
Tune in to discover practical insights on planning your life with intention and breaking free from the toxic productivity narrative. Be sure to stay until the end, too, when I introduce a guide to help you clarify your desires and values, essential for navigating the seasons of life.
Show Highlights
- the shift from valuing productivity to embracing reflective stages of life
- how self-criticism based on productivity harms well-being
- self-care emphasis: why you should plan life around personal joy and values, not external pressures
- how to rebuild self-trust by breaking free from constant criticism and comparison
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I want to tell you this week about an eye-opening conversation that I had with my 17-year-old daughter. In a world bombarded with messages to always be positive and live our best lives, I asked her a crucial question: Does she feel the pressure to be happy all the time? Her response not only affirmed the principles I've been teaching but also shed light on the profound impact this mindset can have on our emotional well-being.
Tune in as I explore the concept of life being 50/50, a blend of both good and bad experiences. It's not about denying negativity but embracing it as an integral part of our journey. Discover how this perspective transforms your relationship with life, leading to greater ease, resilience, and a deeper understanding of what it truly means to live authentically. Join me as we navigate the highs and lows together and learn how the 50/50 mindset can be a guide, saving you from unnecessary suffering and opening the door to a more authentic, fulfilled life.
Show Highlights
- the importance of embracing the concept of life being 50/50: a balance of good and bad experiences
- why you should shift expectations and change your relationship with your life
- dropping the perfect life fantasy
- how embracing life's challenges can make you more resilient
- the importance of feeling all emotions, positive and negative
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I am breaking from my usual broad discussions to share a more personal journey with you. I'll be delving into the profound impact that the integration of Thought Work and spirituality has had on my life. Exploring the transformative power of aligning our thoughts with deeper dimensions, I draw inspiration from the incredible story of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist who experienced a life-altering stroke and whose journey led her to a profound understanding of the connection between mind, body, and spirit.
As we navigate the interplay between our left and right hemispheres, I'll guide you through the process of quieting the chattering mind and accessing a higher, divine dimension within ourselves. Join me on this reflective exploration as we learn to trust, surrender, and become co-creators in our own lives. It's a journey that goes beyond spirituality; it's about authenticity, self-love, and being a blessing to the planet.
Show Highlights
- the interconnected essence of human experience: mind, body, spirit
- how Thought Work evolves into a profound exploration of spirituality
- Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's insight: stroke survivor's transformative spiritual awakening
- embracing stillness for spiritual connection by silencing the left side of the brain
- empowering life through alignment with the divine mind
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me for this week's episode as I delve into the profound concept of challenging our ingrained beliefs about ourselves and our past. Sharing a personal reflection sparked by an old photo, I explore the transformative power of questioning the narratives we hold dear. From unraveling the aftermath of a breakup to dissecting the impact of childhood experiences, we are navigating the terrain of limiting beliefs. We challenge the very fabric of our perceptions, inviting you to consider, what if the limitations we staunchly defend aren't as real as we think? It's a thought-provoking exploration that might just lead you to the other side of fear, unlocking the person you were meant to be. Tune in, and let's embrace the adventure of reshaping our modern emotional lives together.
Show Highlights
- how unraveling limiting beliefs transforms our reality and paves the way for personal growth
- questioning deeply ingrained thoughts can lead to rapid, positive shifts in perspective
- emphasis on the logical resistance that our minds exhibit when confronted with changing beliefs
- the importance of challenging self-imposed limitations – discomfort is a sign of potential growth
- how Thought Work involves trying on new perspectives to find empowering, authentic beliefs
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I am so thrilled to dive into this week's episode with you, in which I delve into the profound connections between our minds, bodies, and spirits. We're embarking on a journey into self-development through the lens of Thought Work, understanding the mechanics of our brains, and tapping into the spirit's desire for a fuller, more abundant life.
Join me as we navigate the complexities of embracing a wide range of emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, and learn how the intersection of mind, body, and spirit shapes our experiences. Plus, we'll unravel the essence of abundance, not just in terms of material wealth but as a mindset, a realization that transcends the mechanics of life. Together, we'll explore the power of deliberate thinking, the alignment of our human selves with our spiritual beings, and the transformative practice of receiving with an open heart.
Get ready to embark on a journey of inner work and discover the richness that lies in embracing the full spectrum of our emotions. Tune in, and let's explore the spirit of abundance together.
Show Highlights
- mind-body-spirit connection: exploring the profound intersection shaping our experiences
- why it's important to think about abundance beyond the context of material possessions
- the importance of being open to emotions, even uncomfortable ones
- thinking deliberately and using intentional thoughts that align with the spirit, fostering abundance
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Welcome to the first episode of 2024, everyone. As we embark on this new year, I want to dive into the power of resolutions and why they're crucial, despite their bad rap. If there's an aspect of your life that you want to change, remember this: you can change it!
Listen in as I share my top five pieces of advice for those striving for change. From understanding the importance of setting goals to embracing failure as a goldmine for self-discovery, we explore the mindset shifts needed for real transformation. I also emphasize the significance of living in the solution rather than dwelling on the problem, urging you to alter your thoughts and feelings to align with the life you envision.
If you're ready to build the bridge to a life you were meant to live, join me in this pep talk for a motivated and optimistic start to the new year. I believe in your ability to make meaningful changes, whether in relationships, behaviors, or emotional states. Here's to a transformative 2024, challenging us to become better, bigger versions of ourselves.
Show Highlights
- embracing change: how to break free from stagnation and change your thoughts to change your life
- anticipating failure: why failure should be embraced for growth
- the importance of ditching perfectionism
- live in the solution: why we should shift our focus from the problem to a solution
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
In this week’s discussion, I explore the power of conscious thinking in the face of a world filled with rising tensions and fear. As we navigate the five elements of life - circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results - I make a compelling case for maintaining our sense of well-being as a profound contribution to the world.
Unraveling the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, and actions, I guide you through the transformative process of choosing your beliefs consciously. Drawing from personal beliefs that have shaped my own journey, I share insights on embracing life's messiness, finding calm amidst chaos, and the importance of investing in our mental well-being.
Join me in discovering the extraordinary potential within each of us to shape our own reality, radiate positive energy, and make a meaningful impact on the world, one deliberate thought at a time.
Show Highlights
- why we should choose thoughts deliberately for well-being and positive impact
- the five life elements that shape our reality: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results
- why our personal beliefs matter
- focus on positive energy: shift from unconscious to conscious thinking for a lighter, more optimistic life.
- reminder that you have an impact - your deliberate thoughts and beliefs contribute to a more harmonious world
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me this week as I delve into the complexities of family dynamics during the holiday season. Following the feedback I received around episode 64 in which I shared a coaching session about Thanksgiving anxieties, this episode explores another client's struggle with family dynamics.
The client, happily married but grappling with her brother-in-law's behavior, seeks guidance on how to navigate her opinions without causing harm. We unravel the layers of judgment and shame, emphasizing the importance of embracing one's humanity before attempting to change.
I hope that you will grab a seat and listen in as we explore the nuances of emotional maturity and the opportunity for growth within the messiness of family life. Discover how letting go of the "good vs. bad" paradigm can lead to a more fulfilling and compassionate holiday season, where everyone is allowed to be themselves.
Show Highlights
- unpacking holiday pressures and navigating family dynamics to finding peace amid the festive chaos
- encouraging listeners to explore their judgments and embrace their humanity
- the significance of embracing imperfection and understanding the value of allowing oneself and others to be authentically human
- the power of self-acceptance in fostering a more compassionate and joyous holiday experience
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Our Modern Emotional Lives, Episode 64 - “How to Believe Something New”
Join me today as I reflect on the changing nature of downtime in our lives, from the simplicity of listening to vinyl in high school to the constant bombardment of information in today's digital age. I seek to rediscover solitude, not the lonely kind, but the intentional act of being alone with our thoughts. In a world where constant distraction becomes the norm, let's challenge ourselves to embrace moments of quiet, carve out time for true solitude, and reconnect with the present moment. It's a reminder we all need, myself included, to slow down, rest our minds, and listen to the subtle beauty within our own thoughts, so grab your favorite spot, take a deep breath, and join me on this exploration of the profound power of stillness in our modern emotional lives!
Show Highlights
- how to rediscover solitude and why it’s important
- why we should challenge distraction habits
- how true solitude can be powerful
- the importance of tending to one’s life and caring for your wellbeing
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I want to welcome you as I take a dive into the concept of female empowerment, addressing the common struggle women face in seeking a definitive "right answer." I explore the tendency to be entangled in others' lives, especially in situations involving our loved ones, and how this fixation on someone else's thoughts and feelings can lead to confusion and agitation.
Through the lens of cognitive behavioral science, I explain the importance of understanding one's own model (comprising thoughts, emotions, and actions) and emphasize the power of focusing inward. I guide listeners in breaking free from the habit of being absorbed in someone else's model, encouraging you to reclaim control over your own thoughts and emotions. Join me as we explore the path to empowerment, learning how to make strong decisions and find certainty within ourselves.
Show Highlights
- finding empowerment through self-focus
- how to break the habit of fixation
- creating a sense of certainty via self-reflection
- the importance of embracing personal responsibility
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me this week as I sit down with Dr. Nicole Avena, an esteemed neuroscientist, as we delve into the fascinating world of sugar addiction. We explore Nicole's groundbreaking research at Princeton, where she uncovered the surprising parallels between sugar and drug addiction.
From her early days battling imposter syndrome to her profound discoveries about sugar's impact on the brain's opioid system, Nicole shares her journey of unraveling the complexities of our modern sugar-centric society, and we discuss the importance of understanding the science behind sugar addiction, dispelling shame, and embracing a mindful approach to consuming sugar.
Nicole also unveils her seven-step process outlined in her latest book Sugarless, offering practical insights into overcoming sugar addiction without completely eliminating it from our lives. Tune in to learn how to navigate the challenges of reducing sugar intake, empower your choices, and embark on a healthier, more informed path.
Show Highlights
- Nicole’s groundbreaking research
- navigating imposter syndrome
- the impacts of sugar on the brain
- Nicole’s seven-step approach
- How to make empowering choices
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Nicole’s Website
Nicole’s Facebook Page
Nicole’s LinkedIn Page
Nicole’s YouTube Page
Nicole’s Books
Nicole’s TED Talk “How sugar affects the brain”
Today, I want to revisit a fundamental concept that can revolutionize how you perceive your existence: the idea that your thoughts are optional. This realization is profound; it marks a turning point where you begin to recognize that the meaning you assign to events is within your control.
We so often confuse facts with thoughts, letting our interpretations dictate our emotions and behaviors, but understanding the distinction can free us from unnecessary suffering, so listen in as we explore the power of differentiating between facts and interpretations, giving you the tools to navigate life's challenges with clarity.
I challenge you to question your beliefs, to scrutinize your interpretations, and to recognize that every thought you have is a choice. Join me in this exploration, and let's embark on a journey toward a more empowered, intentional, and emotionally fulfilling life.
Show Highlights
- reminder that thoughts are optional and understanding that thoughts are interpretations, not indisputable facts
- challenging your beliefs and selecting the thoughts that best serve us
- the value of embracing discomfort
- how our mindset shapes our reality
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Reflecting on my recent move to a new house, join me today as I explore the inherent stress and uncertainty that comes with change, drawing parallels between physical relocation and the emotional upheaval that occurs when unexpected circumstances force us to dismantle our existing realities. Together, we examine the power of deliberately directing our thoughts, embracing temporary discomfort, and trusting that even in the midst of chaos, clarity will eventually emerge.
Show Highlights
- the transformative power of dismantling our lives amidst chaos and discomfort
- how to purposefully direct your thoughts, reducing unnecessary suffering in uncertain times
- encouragement that clarity will emerge, even when solutions aren't immediately visible
- understanding your ability to more fully engage with your higher mind
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
It is officially Autumn, and as we gear up for Thanksgiving, I have been thinking about something that might just change so much for you. When I mention Thanksgiving, you're probably thinking about those family gatherings that either warm your heart or make you cringe. We all have that one person, like my client's brother-in-law, who seems to ruin every occasion, but here's the revelation - it's not their actions but rather our thoughts about their actions that shape our experience.
This is the very Thought Work that I teach my clients, the power to distinguish between facts and the meaning we assign them. It sounds simple, but it's profound. Beliefs are ultimately just thoughts we've repeated, and if you can intentionally adopt new thoughts, your whole world shifts.
Join me this week as I delve into the art of changing your beliefs, not just to navigate Thanksgiving drama but ultimately to empower your life. It's about taking control of your own narrative, one thought at a time.
Show Highlights
- it's our thoughts, not events, that influence our emotions
- understanding the difference between facts and beliefs
- how to practice new thoughts to reshape beliefs
- how questioning and exploring beliefs pave the way for transformation
- your mind’s power is the ultimate key
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Listen in today as I dive deep into the essence of what it means to be human: having wants and desires. Desire is more than just a yearning; it's a fundamental force that shapes our lives, and I unravel the layers of our wants, exploring how they define us, push us to grow, and connect us to the universe's creative energy. I encourage you to challenge the notion that wanting is inherently negative, inviting you to embrace your desires as sacred whispers guiding you towards your true self. From the simple joys that bring a smile to your face to the audacious dreams that seem out of reach, discover the power of wanting from a place of abundance rather than scarcity, igniting your potential and enriching your journey, so settle in and join me on this exploration as we learn not just to want but to want boldly, unapologetically, and authentically, to listen to those whispers.
Show Highlights
- embrace desires as sacred whispers guiding personal growth
- how wanting from abundance enriches your quality of life
- encouragement to challenge societal norms and liberate your desires from judgment
- desires connect us to the higher mind and to creative energy
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Tune in to this episode as I interview Rae Tsai, an individual whose life journey is both inspiring and deeply introspective. Rae shares her experiences of growing up in Taiwan, her early struggles and responsibilities within her family, and her determination to pursue education against the odds. She discusses her transition to the United States, her marriage, and the challenges she faced in adapting to a new culture and balancing family responsibilities. Rae also delves into her career as a life coach and the profound impact of Asian cultural values on relationships, emphasizing the importance of breaking free from inherited beliefs and fostering self-awareness.
Join Rae and me in this enlightening conversation as we explore the intersection of cultural identity, personal growth, and the power of self-discovery. Rae's unique perspective and her journey toward embracing mindfulness and detachment offer valuable insights for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of life and relationships in our modern world.
Show Highlights
- Rae’s journey to the United States and cultural shifts
- exploration of the impact of Asian values on relationships
- embracing self-discovery and personal growth as a life coach
- the significance of breaking inherited beliefs
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Rae’s Website
Book a free consult with Rae
Rae’s Podcast
Rae’s YouTube Channel
Email Rae: raetsaicoaching@gmail.com
Rae’s Instagram Page
Rae’s Facebook Page
As we journey through life, we often find ourselves mirroring the emotions of those around us, whether they are loved ones, colleagues, or even our children, but what if there was another way, a path to emotional maturity and true personal power?
Tune in to this episode as we explore the concept of emotional mirroring and how it influences our relationships and decision-making. Join me as we delve into the practice of taking responsibility for our emotional experiences and learn to navigate life's challenges with intention. Discover how breaking free from the default setting of mirroring can lead to a more stable and empowered existence, both at home and in the workplace. It's a spiritual journey of self-discovery, and I'm excited to share it with you.
Show Highlights
- how to break free from emotional mirroring for personal empowerment
- understanding the default setting of mirroring
- how to practice emotional maturity by taking control of your reactions
- leadership means setting the emotional tone, not mirroring it
- true power = taking responsibility for your own emotions
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Listen in today as I dive deep into the power of embracing our emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. Through a compelling client story, I explore how the fear of disappointment can hold us back and how societal norms have taught us to avoid negative emotions.
I also share insights on why it's essential to make room for all our feelings, as they are a significant part of the human experience. By acknowledging and befriending our emotions, we can start living a more fulfilling life. Join me as we unravel the mysteries of our modern emotional lives and learn how to create the life we want to live.
Show Highlights
- why it’s important to embrace all emotions, even the uncomfortable ones
- avoiding negative emotions ironically only leads to suffering
- befriending all of your emotions leads to personal growth
- reminder that all of our feelings are a vital part of the human experience
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Listen this week as I dive into the challenges of couples therapy and how it's often seen as the solution for dissatisfied relationships, but what if just getting to therapy seems impossible? What if you and your partner have different ways of dealing with conflict?
I share insights on how to shift your perspective and approach, emphasizing the importance of focusing on yourself and your own growth, and I provide three key ideas to prepare your mindset and five actionable steps to change your relationship experience from within.
Whether you're in a relationship that needs improvement or contemplating its future, this episode will guide you towards more love, clarity, and empowered decisions. It's all about changing your experience without needing your partner to change, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic relationship.
Show Highlights
- the challenges of couple’s therapy such as getting there, finding a good match, and having faith that it will work
- why to shift your focus from blaming your partner to self-improvement
- the importance of having appreciation for yourself and for your partner
- how to embrace the power to change your experience separate from your partner’s behavior
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
In this episode, I am diving deep into the world of FOMO, and it's not just about those sneaky social media comparisons. We're getting into the nitty-gritty of why some of us feel that gnawing FOMO more intensely than others, and you're not alone if it feels a tad overwhelming. Join me as we uncover the root causes of this sensation and explore five empowering ways to flip the script. Let's tame that FOMO beast together and embrace the contentment we deserve.
Show Highlights
- FOMO explained: seeking pleasure and human connection while avoiding discomfort
- Thoughts create emotions.
- How a “brain dump” (identifying dissatisfying thoughts) can be helpful
- Question your thoughts
- Create new habits
- Change your attitude, and find humor
- The role of the primitive brain and how to shift perspectives
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
On today’s episode, I sit down with Krista St.-Germain, creator of The Widowed Mom Podcast. Krista shares her story of resilience after the tragic loss of her husband. From navigating the complexities of grief to embracing post-traumatic growth, Krista's experiences offer invaluable insights for anyone dealing with loss.
We dive into the myths around grief, emotional processing, and how becoming a life coach has been a guiding light in Krista's journey. We also explore the power of self-compassion, debunk misconceptions, and uncover the deep connections between emotions, thoughts, and healing.
Show Highlights
- Krista's journey from grief to post-traumatic growth after losing her husband
- challenging the myths of grief
- the importance of embracing emotions
- shifting from perfectionism to self-compassion while healing
- Krista’s coaching techniques to foster self-growth and self-awareness
- why it’s important to unlearn societal expectations, especially the “happiness all the time” and “feelings are problems” culture
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Mentioned in the Episode
Krista’s Website
Krista’s Grief Plateau Quiz
The Widowed Mom Podcast
The Life Coach School - Website
Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
My clients have made the courageous decision to change. In this episode, I share one client’s experience of showing up more authentically at work, inspired by the changes she has made in her own self-concept. I have been so inspired by my clients’ transformations and wanted to use this episode to shed light on the power of commitment, consistency, and self-discovery.
Through their journeys, you'll discover the simple path to embracing change and enjoying life more fully. Stay tuned for an episode that's all about celebrating growth, authenticity, and the beautiful evolution that comes with it.
Show Highlights
- why it’s so important to commit to change
- how consistency leads to shifts
- the importance of embracing discomfort
- how clients often find self-discovery and authenticity
- reminder that choosing to change requires courage
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I hope that you will join me today as I delve deep into the intricate world of parenting, a world where love, concern, and an impulse to help often intertwine. As the founder of my coaching platform, I've had the personal privilege of guiding professional midlife women through the labyrinth of their emotions, and it's a recurring theme that keeps surfacing – the delicate balance between offering assistance and interfering in their children's lives.
I tackle the issue of well-meaning over-involvement, or what some may call being a "fixer." As our young adults grow and evolve, so must our approach.
I offer six ideas that will help you reshape your understanding of effective support as a parent. My hope is that this episode will offer a fresh perspective on parenting in the modern age, so tune in, as we unravel the complexities of parenting in our modern emotional lives.
Show Highlights (my 6 ideas to consider)
- Reevaluating Parental Help: the difference and balance between helping and interfering
- Identifying Source of Impulse: understanding the drive to “fix” our children's problems
- Embracing Discomfort: why it's important to be present with your child during their discomfort while also allowing them to grow independently
- Discerning Help: how to tell if something is truly an emergency
- Making Peace with Reality: encouragement that not all problems are within our power to prevent
- Empowering Growth: shifting the focus from over-involvement to offering support
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I want to share with you in this episode about how to really make lasting change in your life and in your work. I know we often think we need to get that perfect plan and perfect motivation first, but the truth is that action is what makes things happen. Taking that first step, even if it's a baby step, gets the ball rolling and helps momentum and clarity build. Once we begin to act on our goals, the universe seems to cooperate and help us stay the course.
If there's something in your life that you want to work on, assess where you are now, make a list of options, and then choose the easiest first step. Don't wait for inspiration to strike. Just start taking action and watch how things begin to shift and open up for you. Let's talk about how you can get unstuck and finally start creating the life that you truly want to be living.
Show Highlights
- How action, not just motivation, creates lasting change.
- Action leads to clarity and momentum.
- Why to take the first small step towards your goal, however small.
- Don't wait for inspiration. Just start taking steps towards your goal.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Join me in this episode as I discuss the various things that we were trained from a young age to believe that we might still believe today even though they don't serve us. Maybe you have thoughts like, "I'm not good at math" or "Knowing the answer is what makes you smart." However, these are just ideas that became 'truths' because we've thought about them so much.
If we can try on new thoughts, we expand what we're capable of. After all, life rewards curiosity, not having all the answers, and as we question the programming of our youth, we can reshape beliefs that keep us feeling small. Let's shed thoughts holding us back and embrace an expanded view of ourselves.
Show Highlights
- Many things we were taught in school still limit us as adults.
- Our perceived abilities often come from the thoughts we believe, not objective facts.
- Trying on new, more expansive thoughts can help us develop skills we think we lack.
- How curiosity expands our knowledge more than having all the answers does.
- Why questioning old programming lets us see a broader view of ourselves.
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I hope that you will join me for this momentous occasion - the podcast turning a year old. Listen as I reflect on a year of podcasting, reminiscing on some of the challenges that I initially faced as a new podcaster and how this podcast has grown over the last year.
The podcast initially began as a free, accessible source of advice for clients, but it has truly morphed into so much more. The feedback that I’ve gotten has shown me that this podcast has become a cherished part of listeners’ routines, and it has also taught me so much, becoming a source of growth and discovery for me.
It’s so important that we set big goals and measure progress on a daily and annual basis, and this podcast, now being a year old, has really afforded me a wonderful opportunity to do that. I welcome you to year two and hope that you will continue listening as I continue this humbling journey.
Show Highlights
- key lessons learned from creating this podcast
- how what I’ve learned can translate to any big goal
- why it’s important to measure consistency
- what it means to “learn by doing”
- how this podcast has made me more confident in sharing my perspectives
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Many clients come to me because they want to feel more in control. They don’t want to feel like a passenger in the car of life but rather the driver. However, the desire for control can also sometimes have adverse effects, such as wanting control through food, alcohol abuse, and so forth.
Control is not always needed. We sometimes tell stories about ourselves and frame them as if they are conflicts when control isn’t really what is needed because there ultimately is no battle. Fear creates conflict which is why I encourage you to be mindful of the language that you use when telling your stories.
Show Highlights
- why is control sometimes pleasant and other times not?
- why it is important to be mindful of our choice of words
- encouragement that there isn’t always actually conflict
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We have so many dilemmas that come up about wanting to improve something about our lives such as our relationships, our financial situation, the quality of our health, and so forth. I am here to tell you that the answer to all of these is in the decisions that you make.
That’s why it is so important to be making decisions regularly, especially conscious decisions. We really want to get to the point at which we recognize that we are creating our lives rather than believing that life is happening to us.
Listen in as I walk you through an example from my own life of how I felt stuck in a situation in which I was making decisions unconsciously and what happened when I decided to start making the decision consciously. If you feel unhappy or confused in a certain situation, be sure to ask yourself what decision you are not making.
Show Highlights
- why you might not be making enough conscious decisions
- the disempowering cost of making decisions unconsciously
- we are always creating our lives and should be aware of it
- how your inner power does not come from force and pressure
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
You may recall how I talked on the podcast back in January about my trip to a spa resort and what I learned on that trip. Well, on that trip, I met Dr. Melissa Sundermann, and I am so happy to have the opportunity to talk to her on this podcast.
Melissa is a double-board certified physician in internal medicine and lifestyle medicine and has been practicing for over two decades, always adding new elements to her methods over the years. I hope that you listen in as she shares her journey and discusses lifestyle medicine and the six pillars of Lifestyle Medicine (plus a bonus unofficial seventh one). She also discusses age-related cognitive decline, honing in especially on Alzheimer’s.
This is such a great, fun conversation, and I am grateful for Melissa’s time and having the chance to catch up with her.
Show Highlights
- how and why Melissa became interested in Lifestyle Medicine
- walkthrough of what Melissa teaches about brain health
- importance of sleep
- how to better manage stress
- why we should spend more time outside
- causes of and preventative measures for age-related cognitive decline
- book recommendations from Melissa
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Vivek H Murthy M.D. - Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
Dean & Ayesha Sherzai - The Alzheimer’s Solution: A Breakthrough Program to Prevent and Reverse the Symptoms of Cognitive Decline at Every Age
Dean Ornish’s Books
Will Bulsiewicz MD - Fiber Fueled: The Plant-Based Gut Health Program for Losing Weight, Restoring Your Health, and Optimizing Your Microbiome
Melissa’s @motivatormelissa Page on Instagram
Melissa’s @thedoctoroutdoors Page on Instagram
Melissa’s LinkedIn Profile
We sometimes feel stuck, like we have goals that we feel we cannot reach, and sometimes, we really need to take a step back and ask ourselves what our beliefs are about our ability to make it happen. Everything stems from what we believe, so if we don’t believe in ourselves, we aren’t going to see the results that we want, and it’s just that - ourselves - in which we need to believe. If you are feeling overwhelmed, train your brain to create belief plans first before making action plans, and this is such a powerful move that will help you change how you view yourself.
Show Highlights
- what you need to do before creating an action plan
- belief plans and why they’re important
- how our thoughts lead to results (or lack thereof)
- start with simple short-team goals and then build on them
- how to recondition your mind and change your sense of identity
- part of my own belief plan
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
During the pandemic when we were under lockdown, I took an incredibly powerful class from Anita Moorjani. Anita has an amazing story that really inspired me in several ways, so I am spending today’s episode sharing what I learned from her class, including but not limited to the idea that being spiritual is at our core, that a challenge can come with a blessing that we might not see until we are past the challenge, and the importance of loving oneself. We are here to always be learning and growing, so it is my hope that sharing a few of the key inspirational lessons that I learned from Anita’s class will be helpful to you as well.
Show Highlights
- background information about Anita Moorjani
- all about the class I took from Anita
- the most important things that I learned
- why we should learn to trust and love ourselves
- how to increase your self-love
- how what I learned from Anita ties into Thought Work
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
What if money were a person with whom you were in a relationship? If you thought about that person the way that we think about money, it would probably be a very unhealthy relationship. Today we explore your relationship with money and how to improve it. What you appreciate appreciates, so aligning yourself with appreciative thoughts about this needed resource is an important first step in improving your relationship with money.
Show Highlights
- how some people think money = worth
- how to define your relationship with money
- why you should identify your own relationship with money
- a book recommendation on this topic
- what happens when we appreciate money
- how having a neutral relationship with money will serve you
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Lynne Twist - The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life
I have come to realize on my own journey that you can’t ever change something permanently when you hate it. It seems like a contradiction. After all, if you didn’t hate what you want to change, then you wouldn’t want to change it, right? This can be a very tough concept to get your head around, but bear with me today as I take a shot at explaining it to you.
Remember, situations themselves do not create negative emotions. Situations are neutral. It’s what we think about situations that create negative emotions. When we look at it from that perspective, it starts to make a little more sense. We aren’t ever going to feel better about something if we don’t think differently about it.
If you are thinking discordant thoughts, how can you expect to find a harmonious solution? Most of us don’t realize this, though, because we are programmed simply to avoid pain and seek pleasure, and negative thoughts therefore sometimes make us feel stuck. You cannot hate your way to a solution.
Show Highlights
- reminder that emotions are vibrations
- why thinking negative thoughts perpetuates the problem
- why it seems so difficult to think more positively about a situation
- why your mind needs to be harmonious to enact a permanent change
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
As human beings, we have a very limited perspective of the world around us. It’s something to which we don’t usually give much thought, but science even tells us that the human brain and the human eyes are only able to perceive a negligible percentage of the electromagnetic light spectrum.
We make meaning based on what our limited perspectives are capable of understanding, and this can be so freeing. We tell ourselves stories about ourselves such as I’m broken, I’m no good at relationships, my body isn’t good enough, but there is no upside to thinking such things. If we zoom out and provide more context, we can see that those things aren’t true.
Listen in as I walk you through three things that I commonly see from people, things that they think about themselves that prevent them from being who they truly want to be, including
- I know that it doesn’t work because I have tried before and failed.
- I should already know this.
- I think things about myself that don’t make me feel good, but they are true.
Remember, your thoughts create your feelings, and your thoughts drive so many of your behaviors. When we think that we are failures, confirmation bias will likely look for evidence that that is true. That’s exactly why it’s important to remember that we get to choose what we think.
Show Highlights
- how we only perceive a small percentage of the world around us
- why that can be freeing
- how more context can help us think differently
- three examples of thoughts people have that obstruct them
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
When it comes to teaching Thought Work, I am ultimately teaching how to take charge of your own authority. Many of us, especially women, will believe what someone else says or thinks about us over our own opinions, and some of us do this without even realizing. We don’t realize that we aren’t claiming our own authority.
Listen in as I tackle the idea of why it’s so important that we claim our own authority and how to get started doing that. It’s so important to know and pay attention to what you want and also recognizing and remembering that human beings aren’t meant to always be happy with the decisions that we make, and decisions that we regret can be lessons from which to learn.
At the end of the day, no one knows what’s best for you better than you do, and as an adult, you have the superpower of getting to decide what’s important to you. Identify those values and use them as guiding lights for the path on which you choose to walk.
Show Highlights
- claiming your own power is so fundamental as an adult
- why you should identify your personal values and what you want
- how to be the author of your own life
- humans have memory banks so that we can learn from them
- reminder that we are meant to make mistakes
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Living with resentment, even if it’s in the basement of your mind rather than the living room, can be very draining to our batteries and can make for a very difficult way to live. I should know, because one of the things that drew me to Thought Work was how it helped me look at my resentment in a new way.
Our brains are, by nature, repetitive, which is one of the reasons why it can be so easy to get stuck on a negative feeling such as resentment. Remember, though, that feelings are caused by thoughts. We have thoughts about what the person we are feeling resentment toward did, and those thoughts cause us pain. Thought Work can help you to identify what thoughts are creating the feeling of resentment.
Some of us struggle not just with forgiving others but also forgiving ourselves, and I encourage you to consider that doing something you assess as bad doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. Changing what we’re thinking about something can be very difficult, and it can even seem impossible. It’s worth it, though, because that resentment is only hurting you and is unnecessary suffering. Pain is inevitable, but it draining our life energy is not.
Show Highlights
- how the topic of forgiveness is very personal to me
- how Thought Work can help look at forgiveness in a new way
- new ideas and thoughts to think on purpose that create a foundation of forgiving more easily
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Most of us are taught from a young age to be good, and some of us have come to think of this as a bad thing, that rules stifle creativity and individuality. Rules can be a good thing, but because we learn them as children, we sometimes shape our identities around them and think that we can never be good enough.
As children, we are often instructed to do (or stop doing) something that goes against what we really want, and as autonomous adults, the challenge is reprogramming ourselves and finding harmony with what we truly want.
Reclaiming your own agency as opposed to always looking for external validation is part of the fundamentals of what I teach, so listen as I walk you through an exercise to help you get in touch with what you want.
Show Highlights
- what it means to “be good”
- why some of us vilify rules
- how to reprogram your behavior as an independent adult
- why we seek external validation
- the importance of reclaiming your own agency and an exercise to help you do it
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I am so thrilled to welcome Kristen Gilliland to today’s podcast. Kristen is an organic chemist by training and is currently working at the Warren Center for Neuroscience Drug Discovery here in Nashville, currently acting as Director of Outreach and Advocacy. In that role, she teaches neuroplasticity to teenagers.
She is also a musician and a mom. Tune in to hear her talk about how her sons profoundly influenced her professional life. She also touches upon how her band was formed, how she came to be interested in organic chemistry and what neuroplasticity is to Kristen, why it’s so important to be kind and compassionate toward ourselves, information about her upcoming documentary Speaking Through Me, and so much more!
Show Highlights
- how tragedy and grief inspired Kristen to do what she does
- how Kristen has changed since the death of one of her sons
- where Kristen’s love of music comes from
- how Kristen came to be interested in organic chemistry
- what neuroplasticity is
- Kristen’s transition from academia to lab work
- the importance of having compassion for one’s self
- insight into Kristen’s upcoming documentary
- Kristen’s song “You’re Finally Free”
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Kristen’s Band
Kristen’s TEDx Talk
Many of my clients like to be in control and take on a lot of responsibility, and when I tell them that they are responsible for their thoughts, they tend to take on even more responsibility. That’s why I want to take this episode to discuss responsibility - what you are responsible for and what you’re not.
There are three common examples of too much responsibility being taken on, including but not limited to taking on other people’s feelings and problems and believing that you don’t have a good enough reason to not take something on. Listen in as I walk you through these common examples and how to solve for them.
Ask yourself what you truly want, and acknowledge that truth. That will help you make a decision about when to say yes and when to say no to taking something on. It’s so important that you always combine taking on responsibility with loving yourself. That will help ensure that you’re being responsible without taking on too much responsibility.
Show Highlights
- three common examples of taking on too much responsibility
- how to solve for taking on too much responsibility
- what it means to individuate and why it’s important
- how and why responsibility should be liberating
- reminder that feelings fuel your actions
- the link between your primitive brain and responsibility
- practice owning your decisions
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Here in Nashville, there have been peaceful protests lately trying to push legislators to place a ban on assault rifles, and most of the people protesting were teenagers. This really got me thinking about positive things that I would like to share with today’s youth, and I narrowed that down to six things, hence today’s episode.
Included in the six ideas I have to offer youth to help empower them are (1) what creates abundance and how abundance is a feeling, (2) how and why negative emotions are normal and not to be feared, (3) what it truly means to be confident, (4) encouragement to pay close attention to your “I am…” statements, (5) reminder of how adaptable you are, and, finally, (6) assertion that it’s okay to not know your path yet.
I really hope that these six ideas are helpful to you and help empower you! Please feel free to reach out to me to let me know! Thank you for caring about our imperfect world, and remember that you are loved.
Show Highlights
- what inspired this podcast episode
- gratitude toward teenagers for their care and kindness
- what creates abundance
- reminder that it’s okay to feel negative emotions
- where real confidence comes from
- encouragement to pay attention to what you say to yourself about yourself
- reminder of how much you can actually handle as a human being
- affirmation that it’s okay to not know your life path yet
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Dr. Jay Wellons is the author of the beautiful memoir All That Moves Us: A Pediatric Neurosurgeon, His Young Patients, and Their Stories of Grace and Resilience. He is the chief of pediatric neurosurgery at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.
This episode was recorded just days before the tragic shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville. Dr. Wellons’ voice is relied upon by many in the medical community here in Nashville for so many issues that affect the health of our children. Guns have become the number one cause of death in children and teens in the US. I hope this senseless tragedy inspires us to take steps forward to prevent this from continuing to happen. Reinstate the ban on assault weapons.
This episode with Dr. Wellons will indeed move you and inspire you. I am so honored that he joined me for this conversation. I highly encourage you to read All That Moves Us.
Show Highlights
- Jay reading the prologue from his book
- why Jay wrote All That Moves Us
- how Jay’s father inspired and influenced him
- Jay’s insight about calmness
- the importance of mentorship
- how Jay copes with difficulties
- how becoming a father changed things
- advice to youth about uncertainty and self-doubt
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Jay Wellons - All That Moves Us: A Pediatric Neurosurgeon, His Young Patients, and Their Stories of Grace and Resilience
I did my first webinar three years ago, so I went back and revisited that webinar only to realize that it was much better than I feared. I was undoubtedly nervous and am much more confident now, but I was much better prepared for it than I had realized.
That also got me reflecting back on my work over the last three years and my belief in the importance of what I teach. Learning about how your brain works is so important to understanding ourselves and how we can grow and develop.
I have spoken before on the podcast about how we should not try to cut ourselves off from negative emotions. A full spectrum of emotions - positive ones and negative ones - makes our lives richer and fuller, and trying to be happy at all times ironically creates unnecessary suffering. This is why this work is so important to me and why I feel that teaching Thought Work is my calling.
Show Highlights
- reflecting back on my work over the last three years
- all of our brains essentially work the same way
- the difference between knowledge and wisdom
- why Thought Work is so important to me
- the power of love and compassion, even for ourselves
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Many of my clients are women in midlife, and most of them are working and/or taking care of children. Many of them are also dealing with issues involving aging parents, and that often leads to them worrying about their own aging.
Aging has three dimensions to it: physical, cognitive, and emotional. Listen in as I discuss how that last one, emotional, is the only one that doesn’t actually have a direct link to aging. We can’t control physical and cognitive aging, but your emotional health is something that we can control.
There is a weighty correlation between our emotional health and our relationships with other people, but we get to choose to think thoughts that best serve us. If you think loving thoughts, you’re going to feel good because remember, how we feel results from what we think.
Show Highlights
- the three different components of aging
- reminder that emotional health is not a personality trait
- why hoping for happiness backfires
- the correlation between emotional health and relationships
- the importance of thinking loving thoughts, including about yourself
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
What is self-sabotage, and why does it feel so terrible? Self-sabotaging is when we create unnecessary problems for ourselves that get in the way of our goals, and part of the reason that it feels awful is that we blame ourselves for it; we think that we are the problem.
Remember that our primitive brain loves familiarity and repetition. It serves up familiar thought patterns in an effort to keep you the same, and that sometimes makes it feel like we are sabotaging our own interests when in reality, it is our brain trying to protect us from pain.
There is so much power in your ability to override your primitive brain, even though it doesn’t always feel that way. I walk you through three different ways that you can start taking control of your emotional management: (1) paying attention to everything that leads up to self-sabotage, (2) reminding yourself that discomfort is unavoidable, and (3) focusing on the future rather than the past.
I ideally want you to be doing the opposite of self-sabotage, instead checking in with yourself to find out what you need to accomplish, whatever it is that you truly want to accomplish, that your primitive brain is trying to prevent. What you want in your life will come to you so much more slowly if you exchange that for giving into the temptation to stick to what is familiar.
Show Highlights
- what is self-sabotage
- why detached observation is more accurate
- how our primitive brains wanting to be repetitive leads to self-sabotage
- reminder that you have the power to override your primitive brain
- three different ways to start taking control of your emotional management
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I have talked a lot on the podcast about how to reduce unnecessary suffering, but if there is unnecessary suffering, then that begs the question of whether or not there is necessary suffering. The short answer is yes, and it’s something that some people call clean pain.
Think of the loved ones you’ve lost, the homes that you loved that you had to leave behind, or the beloved jobs that you had to leave. These types of losses are a part of life, and they can be beautiful because they’re reflective of what we love and value.
That kind of pain can be cleansing and cathartic, but there is of course unnecessary suffering or optional pain. This often comes from negative thoughts that we have as a result of pain. It’s so important to know that unnecessary pain doesn’t come from anywhere other than your own mind.
Show Highlights
- is there such a thing as necessary suffering?
- how pain can be cleansing?
- what can happen if we stay in a sad story for too long?
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Living in the Sandwich Zone Podcast
Listen in today as I share a story about a client who felt conflicted between her compassion for her mother who was going through a tough time and her responsibilities toward her job, a story that serves as a perfect example of the Thought Work that I teach and talk about on this podcast.
We often create a lot of unnecessary suffering for ourselves when we don’t bring the Thought Work back to ourselves and are not giving ourselves enough compassion. Your primary responsibility in life is to yourself. You are in charge of you, and it takes a lot of maturity to move past our primitive brain and take care of ourselves in such a way. That love and compassion for yourself can help prevent so much unnecessary pain and suffering.
Show Highlights
- sign up for my upcoming webinar.
- reminder to always bring Thought Work back to you
- how to know whether or not a thought is working to your advantage
- reminder that the story you tell yourself is your personal steering wheel
- why we need to have compassion not only for others but for ourselves
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Taking the Reins on Your Brain Webinar
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
If I were to ask you how you use your personal power, what would you say? Do you know what your personal power is? Your thoughts are energy, and energy animates your body. What you choose to think and believe acts as your own personal steering wheel, and every single one of us underutilizes this power.
On this episode, I share three main ways that we tend to misuse our personal power, including (1) not taking the time to stop and think about what we are thinking, (2) trying to be positive all the time, and (3) not deliberately setting up our basic scaffolding, or basic questions and basic beliefs.
So many of us do use our personal power but misuse it, use it to make us feel smaller and less than rather than using it to our advantage. I hope that this episode is a reminder that you have power and can choose to believe what you want to believe.
Show Highlights
- what does personal power mean to you?
- how to use your personal power effectively
- the three primary ways that our personal powers get misused
- reminder that you get to believe what you want
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I have a client who recently expressed worry that she isn’t doing enough for her kids, an example of how we set ourselves up to be spinning and anxious. How do you know when you have or haven’t done enough?
The real fear around whether or not you’re doing enough for kids is the fear that if something goes wrong in the future, you will hold yourself accountable for it. However, it’s important to remember that kids are humans and are going to live human lives that we can’t control. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who gets to decide what is enough and what it means to be a good parent.
We need to promise ourselves that we will keep all of this in mind and not make ourselves feel inadequate in the future, even when something out of our control goes wrong. The absolute best that we can ever do for our children is to model for them what it means to be a self-actualized and loving human being and parent.
Show Highlights
- what happens when you get stuck in believing you’re not doing enough
- you’re the only one who can decide what it means to be a good parent
- the promise that we need to make ourselves
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I recently took a trip to Canyon Ranch in The Berkshires, the ever glorious destination health spa. I went by myself for my birthday, and listen in today as I talk about how that went for me and how I have changed so much since the last time that I went.
It was such a great experience, but I do want to talk about what I believe to be a missing component from what was offered. We need to learn not just how to reduce stress and resist it but also how to accept it as part of being human.
Remember that stress and anxiety are feelings, and feelings are not problems to be solved but rather experiences to be felt. Life is not all positive, nor should it be. I want you to be able to tolerate those emotions that aren’t necessarily as pleasant to feel. They are supposed to be there; they’re normal and natural. Anxiety can be your ally, not your enemy.
Show Highlights
- details about my recent trip to Canyon Ranch
- the Canyon Ranch’s emphasis on mind, body, and spirit
- standard approach taught to increasing wellbeing
- why constant efforts to reduce and avoid stress isn’t what’s best for us
- how anxiety can be your ally, not your enemy
- how conscious minds don’t take fear as seriously
- how childhood trauma can lead to extra vigilance which is okay
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
I have a very special guest today. Sam Quinones is a New York Times bestselling author and much admired journalist, and he also happens to be my husband. Sam has achieved something many of us seek - a deeply fulfilling career.
In this episode, we focus on his path to becoming a journalist including some of his early influences and pivotal moments. We also talk about the craft of writing and what is required, personally and professionally, to go after what you truly love.
Show Highlights
- Sam’s credentials
- where Sam grew up
- why Sam decided to be a journalist
- Sam’s first journalism job
- why Sam went to Mexico
- how Sam and I met
- insight into Sam’s books
- the difference between pleasure and happiness
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We all have similar blindspots when it comes to our belief in our ability to change. In this episode I share common misconceptions about what it is really like to change.
Remember that change doesn’t mean that we will never feel negative emotions again, nor should it. Negative emotions are part of our design, and they are necessary and helpful.
Show Highlights
- what makes not knowing so powerful
- how doubt does not necessarily mean that it’s the wrong decision
- why “doing it right” doesn’t mean that nothing bothers us
- negative emotions are important and helpful
- how thinking differently leads to faster change
- the power of your own thoughts about yourself
- the important difference between hoping to change versus deciding to change
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We don’t always realize it, but we hold onto things - both material and immaterial - mostly out of fear that there won’t be something to replace them. However, not all of those things serve us, and we can’t allow new things to enter our lives without making space for them.
Clearing space physically can help clear space mentally, so I am giving you a few resources on how to organize your home and how to get started, encouraging you to ask yourself what you want.
Everything having a place also helps prevent overconsumption, but I encourage you to start small because it requires rewiring your brain which can’t be done overnight. I also recommend being coached or talking to a professional organizer if this is a real struggle for you.
Show Highlights
- reminder to join my Fridays coaching group
- why we hold onto things
- how decluttering our physical settings can help us
- what makes organization hard for some of us
- how to get started with organizing
- how your materials can reveal where you’re struggling
- why you should smart very small
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Get Organized Already - Website
Shira Gill’s Website
Shira Gill - Minimalista: Your Step-by-Step Guide to a Better Home, Wardrobe, and Life
I want to spend the first episode of 2023 sharing an individual story from over the holiday. Sharing such stories can help people see elements of themselves in them and give people hope which is what I am hoping will happen for those of you who need it.
So many people get caught up in the feeling of being trapped in a situation and not knowing how to cope with a challenging emotion. They feel helpless and powerless, feeling like there is no choice, but I want to remind you that there is a choice and a way to recontextualize your attitude. Having negative thoughts is completely normal, but it’s also optional.
Show Highlights
- an individual story from someone I know
- how a feeling of powerlessness can lead to depression
- how to recognize the choices that you have
- why it’s important to recalibrate your attitude
- how changing the way you think can change your feelings about your job
- reminder that delight is generated from within, not from outside
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
On today’s episode I speak with Dr. Brian Wu, a psychiatrist who has a special interest in helping people get unstuck from symptoms that are blocking their full alignment. He has been a supporter of my work and has some refreshing ideas about what is needed in the mental health space.
Show Highlights
- Dr. Wu’s academic background and current role
- what a psychiatrist is and what they do
- the important role of coaching
- thoughts on the current mental health crisis
- Dr. Wu’s views on diagnoses
- advice from Dr. Wu on how to improve mental health
- an example of how your life can change from changing just one thought
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
With this podcast episode being published close to the very end of 2022, I want to encourage you to think about the year ahead and how you can decide to make 2023 a year in which you step into a more peaceful version of yourself.
What does it look like to be more peaceful? How do we actually go about achieving that? Listen as I guide you through a mini-meditation that will help you achieve it. Remember that as long as you’re moving toward better, even if it’s just baby steps, you’re doing it right. It’s okay if you find at first that there are things you’re not yet ready to let go of.
I also walk you through a quick recap of what you have already learned on this podcast, reminding you of the Thought Work that I teach. Remember that emotions are vibrations caused by thoughts, but we can control what we think about things that happen, and I hope that this mini-meditation makes space for a more peaceful you going into 2023.
Show Highlights
- the power of decisions
- reminder of the Thought Work that I teach
- a guided walkthrough of a mini-meditation to help you achieve peace
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Listen in today as I share some questions that were submitted for coaching to a group that I am part of, including a question from a person who doesn’t like living alone, how to improve on a difficult relationship with a family member, and how to make new thoughts stick when you’re using Thought Work.
Our thoughts about the facts of our lives lead to feelings, but those thoughts are not facts. Learning the information that I have been sharing on this podcast can be helpful, but the real magic happens when you are able to apply that information to specific situations in your life, and it can be very powerful to hear what others’ struggles are and how the solutions are in their own minds.
Show Highlights
- how transformation truly happens
- reminder that different thoughts lead to different feelings
- what to do to improve on a difficult relationship with a family member
- how to make new thoughts stick
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Do you know much about the primitive brain (also known as the lizard brain)? I have found that many of my clients don’t fully understand how the primitive brain not only serves them in many ways but also holds them back. It can be so helpful to understand this.
One of the many ways that the primitive brain does its job is by keeping you confused via generating the thought I don’t know, but this thought is an optional thought. Listen in as I talk you through what happens if you let the primitive brain take charge, how to get out of confusion, and more.
Better understanding your primitive brain doesn’t mean that your primitive brain is no longer going to do its thing, but it does mean that it will be easier to resist its impulses which can be so worth the effort.
Show Highlights
- why it’s important to better understand the primitive brain
- the confusion caused by the thought I don’t know
- Why the primitive brain makes us think I don’t know
- why that habitual confusion is a problem
- how to move past that confusion
- examples of I don’t know thoughts
- what happens when you let your primitive brain take charge
- an example of this from my own life
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We have pain, physical or emotional, and then we have thoughts about our pain. Our thoughts are like volume knobs that allow us to turn up the volume on our pain or turn down the volume.
When we feel the pain of a negative emotion, we can respond in three different ways: (1) avoid it, (2) resist it, or (3) allow it. Our instinct is often to either avoid it or resist it, but so much unnecessary suffering can be avoided if we actually allow it.
I refer to this skill as a modern super power, and it’s what I help my clients work on. Listen in as I give you methods to allow yourself to feel emotions, even negative ones, and notice how they feel. If we allow those emotions to be there and even welcome them rather than try to avoid them or resist them, you will stop fearing them.
I also want to mention that I am teaching a class on Thursday, December 8th, 2022 at 7 p.m. central time. It’s called A Whole New Way to Achieve a Goal and is something that will come in handy to anyone who is looking to make changes in 2023. It will be a live, virtual event and will require you to register on my website.
Show Highlights
- about the class I am teaching soon
- the relationship between physical pain and emotional pain
- the three ways we can respond to negative emotion
- how allowing negative emotion can be beneficial to us
- the distinction between thinking about emotions and feeling them
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Some of us consider ourselves people pleasers by nature, wanting to please people at our own expense by saying yes when what we really want to say is no. Why do we do this? It’s human nature to want to be liked and accepted. However, when we identify something as wrong, our frequent go-to is to do the polar opposite, but that isn’t always the answer, nor does it always work.
The concept of pleasing others is sometimes a good thing. Wanting to make others happy can be a beautiful trait, and I’m not here to tell you to stop doing that. It can be helpful, however, to determine when people pleasing becomes unhealthy. Listen as I walk you through how to find this balance rather than just try to switch over to whatever you see as the opposite. Increasing your tolerance for negative emotions can make your life so much better.
Show Highlights
- what people pleasing is
- why people pleasing is a common phenomenon
- when the concept of people pleasing becomes unhealthy
- an example from my own life of saying yes when I wanted to say no
- how to increase your tolerance for negative emotions and why you should
- the step-by-step process that worked for me
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
There are facts of life that can be proven that no one can reasonably disagree with, but we often don’t talk about our lives strictly via facts. We don’t always get to choose these facts, but we do get to choose what we think, and our brain often confuses facts and thoughts.
Our minds often assign meaning to facts in the form of thoughts, but these are just that - thoughts. Our thoughts don’t have to be positive all the time, and it’s okay to have negative thoughts, but it’s helpful to recognize when something is a thought rather than a fact.
Stop asking yourself whether or not a thought is true. Simply asking yourself whether or not it serves you to think something. This takes effort because your brain is wired to keep thinking the same things because it deems that safe, but it’s so empowering and is worth it. It will help relieve so much anxiety and fear.
Show Highlights
- difference between facts and thoughts
- how and why our brains often confuse facts and thoughts
- how to tell the difference and why it’s important
- an example of a client who confused facts and thoughts
- how confirmation bias plays a role
- how to determine whether or not a thought is serving you
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Our Modern Emotional Lives - 8. To Change Anything, You Need to Understand Confirmation Bias
Many of my clients struggle with the intense fear of making the wrong decision. Why do so many of us struggle with this fear, and why is it so intense? Listen in as I walk you through all of this, including how your childhood is linked to this fear and why women tend to struggle with this intense fear more often than men do.
Based on values instilled in us in childhood, we sometimes find ourselves feeling stuck between what is right and what is wrong, which is why we fear making the wrong decision. Stepping up into your own autonomy means that you get to decide on your own values, which means that you can provide your own validation. Doing so can relieve so much suffering in your mind.
Show Highlights
- why so many people struggle with the fear of making the wrong decision
- what makes this fear so intense
- the link between this fear and childhood
- the connection between wanting to make the right decision and survival mechanisms
- why women tend to struggle with this more often than men do
- why we feel stuck between deciding what is right and wrong
- where self-sabotage comes from
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
How can we know whether or not we have excellent emotional health? We often think that not feeling good is a symptom of being emotionally unhealthy, but listen in as I argue that that is a dangerous mindset and explain why.
We need a more realistic view of emotional health so that we can more accurately measure it and improve it, so I share the eight principles of excellent emotional health. Understanding these eight principles and not being afraid to feel unpleasant emotions can really open us up to new possibilities.
I also have exciting news to share. For the first time ever, I am opening up a Friday coaching group. Every Friday at noon, we will be meeting virtually for a group coaching session. One private session with me is $125, but joining my Friday coaching group gets you a month of group sessions for the same price. If this sounds interesting to you, please email me at sheila@sheilatully.com to be put on the waitlist.
Show Highlights
- all about my upcoming Friday coaching group
- how far coaching has come in the last decade
- what joining the Friday coaching group will get you access to
- how to measure your emotional health
- how to improve emotional health
- why being emotionally healthy doesn’t mean being constantly happy
- the eight principles of excellent emotional health
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Our Modern Emotional Lives - 9. How to Stop Buffering
Today’s episode is dedicated to those of you who worry about others. One of the biggest challenges of being human is wanting to help others who are in pain, especially people who are the closest to our inner orbit.
Listen in as I share four principles of transforming your worry about other people. I remind you of the Thought Work that I teach and what role it plays here. Remember that we can’t control what others think, but we can work to control our own thoughts.
The actions that we take to help others should stem from love rather than fear and anxiety. After all, darkness doesn’t stand a chance when there is light. It’s also important to keep in mind that even though we may want to believe that other people’s pain is not about us, we still should give ourselves permission to be happy.
Show Highlights
- circumstance leads to thought which leads to feelings which leads to action
- why overanalyzing our thoughts is not always the best method
- how worrying about others begins as a pattern
- consider the possibility that nothing is actually wrong
- why you should always bring the process back to yourself
- why actions should not stem from fear but rather from love
- doing work so that you feel better
- why to give yourself permission to be happy
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Getting overwhelmed and exhausted is something to which a lot of us can probably relate, and many of us also likely feel that it’s necessary, especially if we want to meet our goals and succeed. I am here to tell you, however, that overwhelm is something that needs to be solved, not tolerated.
I teach Thought Work, and I share with you how to use it to solve for overwhelm. Listen as I share what overwhelm is, what causes it, and how you can begin to use it as a signal so that you don’t get stuck in it.
Your long to-do list isn’t what causes overwhelm. It’s your thoughts about that to-do list that result in the overwhelm, and understanding that can begin to make a big difference. In order to reach a level of calm that will help us be more productive, we need to change what we think. Every problem has a solution, and that includes feeling overwhelmed.
Show Highlights
- how overwhelm is not necessary to be successful
- what overwhelm is and what causes it
- how you can use overwhelm to your advantage
- how to avoid staying stuck in feeling overwhelmed
- why calm leads to more productivity
- why we need to change our thinking, not our circumstances
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
So many of us seem to do things or not do things in response to the fear of what other people might think about us, and we’re working toward solving that problem today.
Caring about what others think can be healthy, but it becomes a problem when it is obsessive and when it makes us vulnerable, and that is a problem worth solving.
In order for us to solve this problem, we have to understand why it happens in the first place, and I walk you through some of the reasons why we care about other people’s opinions and how to overcome those reasons.
We can’t control what other people think and say about us, but we can control how we react to them. We can get to a peaceful place where it doesn’t matter as much to us anymore, and it’s so worth getting to that place.
Show Highlights
- the biological vs. social reasons we care what others think
- how your internal debate team plays a role
- how to settle that debate in your own head
- why we should lessen the impact others’ opinions have on us
- three steps toward freedom from worrying about what others think
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Who gets to decide what beauty is and who is beautiful and who isn’t? It is arbitrary, and women have been trained to validate themselves via external metrics. Culture tells us what to think about ourselves, causing us to compare ourselves to others, and we believe what we are told because of confirmation bias.
Your body does not create your feelings. Your thoughts about your body create your feelings, and that is helpful to know because it is within your power to change what you think. Loving yourself regardless of whether or not your appearance matches what society tells you counts as beauty can change your life for the better.
How would your life be different if you knew you were beautiful? We can choose what we believe about ourselves. Wiring our brains to think differently is exactly what I teach, and it can be so rewarding.
Show Highlights
- why we measure our beauty via how others see us
- how life is a constant stream of thoughts and emotions
- how confirmation bias prevents us from seeing the truth
- why many women deal with self-doubt
- how to change what you believe about yourself
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
One of the things that I do as a behavioral specialist is to help people understand why they do what they do, and one of those things is overeating. Statistics from nutritionists can be helpful, but they don’t work for everyone because of the conflict between math and the mind.
Our thoughts are uniquely our own. They drive how we feel, and how we feel drives what we do. That’s exactly why what we think is much more important than data. Before anything else, we need to work on dropping shame, and we need to understand the three reasons why we overeat: physical, habitual, and emotional.
We’re supposed to live and enjoy our lives, not be obsessed over food and the size of our bodies, but if you don’t understand the cause of a problem, you can’t change it. That’s exactly why thoughtwork is so important and so worth teaching and learning.
Show Highlights
- the math vs. the mind
- why the mind is more important than the math
- why food freedom is worth pursuing
- the three main reasons why we overeat
- why we need to understand the cause of a problem
- how to start saying no to diet culture
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Letting things go can be easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Listen in as I share how to let go of parts of our pasts that might be causing us pain, starting with letting go of small things to practice getting rid of larger things.
When we can’t let go of something unpleasant, that is a vibration or stuck energy. We are designed to dislike feeling negative emotions, so we try to avoid feeling them, but a lot of trouble would be avoided if we just let ourselves feel them and let them pass.
Doing so isn’t easy and requires practice, but we learn how to decide not to make something a problem by practicing on the small stuff. With practice, you will eventually notice that bigger things that used to upset you won’t bother you as much anymore, but remember - that doesn’t mean that you will ever be perfect, and that’s okay.
Show Highlights
- why it’s so difficult for us to let go of the past
- how we are both physical and nonphysical beings
- the importance of learning and practice
- why we need to be the supervisors of our own minds
- what practicing letting go looks like
- the different levels of practice
- how we notice feelings before we notice thoughts
- why we need to recognize progress over perfection
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
One of several things that I teach is how to stop buffering. Buffering includes overeating, overdrinking, overshopping, overscrolling on social media, etc. - really anything that is done in excess that ultimately has a negative impact on us.
Many of us buffer because we aren’t allowing ourselves to feel unpleasant emotions. Instead of feeling them, we avoid them by taking part in something that temporarily brings us pleasure. Our brains are engineered to avoid discomfort and seek pleasure, but in our modern lives, it’s important to keep in mind that unpleasant feelings will usually go away if we just allow ourselves to feel our feelings.
We have thoughts about our feelings, and we are fully in charge of what we think about our feelings. Listen in as I share some tips on how to stop buffering, but remember that this doesn’t happen overnight. Celebrate every little win and every little sign of progress. You will come to the understanding that your buffering isn’t the problem; the cause of the buffering is.
Show Highlights
- what is buffering?
- why do we buffer?
- why we should allow ourselves to feel unpleasant emotions
- how we experience feelings but we are not our feelings
- why we need to acknowledge and celebrate every little win
- tips on how to stop buffering
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
We are talking about all things confirmation bias today, and while you might think that you already understand this topic, this podcast episode will likely help you see it in a different way.
Confirmation bias is our brain's natural tendency to recall or interpret new information in a way that confirms our already existing beliefs. We tend to see it as a character flaw, but when we do that, we don't learn from it. The more we understand it, the better chance we have of using it to better ourselves.
Beliefs are thoughts that we have been thinking repeatedly, and they are what ultimately cause confirmation bias. There are ways to use confirmation bias to our advantage, though, so tune in as I walk you through how to work on that. It's so worth it.
Show Highlights
- what is confirmation bias?
- why we shouldn't always see confirmation bias as a flaw
- what the selective attention test teaches us
- how our beliefs influence confirmation bias
- how to use confirmation bias to our advantage
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
YouTube - “selective attention test”
The last two episodes of Our Modern Emotional Lives have covered how to feel better, and I welcome you to part three. In the last episode, I covered the quantity of our thoughts about the past, and I am now moving into discussing the quality of those thoughts.
We tell ourselves stories of our past and believe that our version is accurate since it’s our story, but there is still a lot of personal bias and interpretation, so with the thought-work modality that I teach, I encourage you to change the way you tell your own stories to yourself.
I walk you through a real-life example of how to rewrite the way you tell yourself a story. We can’t rewrite the facts of the past. We can, however, rewrite the way we think about it and narrate it to ourselves, and doing so can be so liberating.
Show Highlights
- how to change your painful past into something meaningful
- healing modalities you can utilize
- how thinking of your brain as a computer can be beneficial
- a detailed story exemplifying how to change the quality of your thoughts
- what you can and can’t change about the past
- why I highly recommend coaching
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Email me: sheila@sheilatully.com
Our Modern Emotional Lives, Episode 5 - “How to Feel Better, Part 1”
Our Modern Emotional Lives, Episode 6 - “How to Feel Better, Part 2”
Do you spend a lot of time thinking about your past, especially parts of your past that bother you? You might feel as if you could feel better if only the past would loosen its grip on you. I am here to offer you an alternate way of thinking about that so that you have a path forward.
We can't change the past, but we can change how we think about it now. Dividing this discussion into two segments – quantity and quality – I start by talking about quantity (how often we think about the past) and will dive into quality (what we actually say to ourselves about the past) in the next episode.
Our brain has certain default settings that cause us to think about the past repeatedly, but we don't have to fight against those settings and, in fact, shouldn't. We can use them to our advantage. You can learn this skill and learn how to think about your past less often. It's so worth it.
Show Highlights
- how to change the way you think about the past
- quantity of our thoughts about the past
- why repetitive thoughts are a default setting of your brain
- how we can actually use our brain's default settings to our advantage
- the disconnect between reality and how our brains have evolved
- how to bring yourself into the present when you're fixated on the past
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Our Modern Emotional Lives, Episode 4 - “Perfectionism and What It’s Costing You”
We have come to believe that we are supposed to be happy almost all of the time with just a sprinkling of unhappiness, and that pressure has led to a lot of unnecessary emotional suffering.
Our lives are designed with contrast, and realizing that is so freeing and brings so much peace. Happiness wouldn’t have any value if it’s all we ever experienced. Sadness is what makes happiness so wonderful. Think of the sun and rain. Many of us love the sun and hate the rain, but the rain is so important. It irrigates crops and is a lifeline for us.
Emotions are not caused by our good and bad circumstances. Emotions are caused by our thoughts, and I encourage you to stop thinking of emotions as positive or negative but rather as comfortable or uncomfortable. When you drop your fear of experiencing uncomfortable emotions, unnecessary suffering decreases.
Show Highlights
- society has taught humanity that we need to be happy all of the time
- uncomfortable emotions aren’t always bad
- why we’re lucky to be human
- how to start changing your relationship with emotions
- what emotions are and where they come from
- the difference between thoughts and emotions
- a method that you can use to start changing how you feel about emotions
Resources
Sheila’s Website
You have probably heard the age-old saying that to err is to be human, right? It's a fundamental truth, yet some of us put pressure on ourselves to never make mistakes and to be persistently perfect, and it costs us a lot when we do that.
Perfectionism is one of the biggest things that holds people back, but many perfectionists don't even realize that they're perfectionists which is why I spend time in this episode defining what perfectionism is.
Perfectionism leads to so many negative effects in our lives such as procrastination, negative criticism toward ourselves and others, and more. There is an antidote to perfectionism, so tune in for the answers.
Show Highlights
- what perfectionism is
- how perfectionism spills into more than just our professional lives
- why, as a perfectionist, you'll never feel good enough
- what negative effects result from perfectionism
- what it looks like to be a non-perfectionist
- how to get past perfectionism
Resources
Sheila’s Website
Do you ever feel like you're finally getting the hang of being happy and feeling peaceful but then other people ruin it? I am really excited about this topic because it is the single biggest problem that most of us think we have: other people. It's such a big problem, in fact, that I think that if you put the tools that I share with you in this episode to use, this might just be one of the most transformative podcast episodes that you will ever hear.
Tune in as I discuss being responsible for your own emotions and not allowing anyone else to have the power to control how you feel. While you are entitled to having preferences about how people should behave, being in control of how you emotionally respond to whether or not such people do behave that way is so important, and I give you a great example of how to circumvent the resentment often felt from people not living up to your expectations.
I challenge you to try letting go of the rules and expectations that we have regarding other people. Do it for as long as you can tolerate, and see what happens as a result. I think that you will notice a drastic change in not only your relationship with others but also your emotional health. Other people are in charge of themselves, so you be in charge of yourself.
Show Highlights
- why many of us believe other people to be our biggest problem
- how relationships are similar to a dance
- why it's important to individuate
- why we shouldn't let anyone else be responsible for how we feel
- the resentment that can result from letting other people decide how we feel
- a real example of a client who experienced resentment as a result
- the reminder that thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behavior
- some helpful homework for you
Resources
Sheila's Website
Welcome back to Our Modern Emotional Lives where I, behavior change specialist and coach Sheila Tully, talk about mental and emotional health and how to rewire our brains so that we are happier and healthier. If you are someone who tends to do a lot of worrying, then this episode is for you because that is exactly what I am covering today – worrying and how to stop doing it.
Believe it or not, worrying is not necessary. It masquerades as necessary, but it serves no purpose in our lives. There is, of course, a natural reason why we do it. Our brains use instinct and knowledge to anticipate the future in an effort to keep us alive and safe, but most of the time, what we worry about is irrational and, again, is not doing anything to make our lives any better, so what can we do about it?
Simply put, worry is primitive fear. Our imaginations can be very powerful because our brains are always looking for danger. It might seem easier said than done to stop worrying, but I offer you five steps that you can to start getting rid of it, and I even provide a real-life example. Use worrying as a signal. Be aware of it, but don't let it control you.
Show Highlights
- a directive offered by Eckhart Tolle
- what worry is and why we do it
- the connection between our primitive brains and worry
- why I call my practice Our Modern Emotional Lives
- five steps to eliminate worrying
- how worry is a fear caused by our thoughts
Resources
Sheila's Website
Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's PurposeEckhart Tolle - The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
My name is Sheila Tully, and welcome to the very first episode of Our Modern Emotional Lives. This podcast will be looking at mental and emotional well-being from my perspective as a behavior change specialist and coach. I teach practical applications of the latest in neuroscience research and cognitive behavioral science to help people change how they think and feel.
There has never been a better time to work toward rewiring your brain (which is known as neuroplasticity) and recalibrating your thoughts and feelings! We are currently living in a time in which the world feels more uncertain than ever, and that obviously impacts mental and emotional health. I, in this opening episode, explain why I decided to launch this podcast, thought-work and what that means, and how to begin making peace with your mind.
I talk about why people tend to avoid doing that one thing that needs to get done, even when it's something that we actually want to do. I discuss the thought-feeling-behavior sequence (something that I teach), which means that our thoughts lead to our feelings, and our feelings lead to our behaviors. Listen in as I explain what that has to do with why we avoid doing that thing.
Show Highlights
- what being a behavior change specialist and coach means
- why I decided to launch this podcast
- how to take control of your life in areas in which you're able
- how thoughts lead to feelings and then feelings lead to behaviors
- some examples of tasks that people tend to avoid doing
- what three things our brains are wired to do
- how to be the supervisor of your own brain
- a method that you can use to stop avoiding doing the thing
- how to not only change the thought but even get rid of it entirely
- why it's important to avoid cognitive dissonance
Resources
Sheila's Website