The Everyday Feminist: Recent Episodes
Stephanie Heck and Lois Volta
The Everyday Feminist is looking out for you and women (and men!) everywhere. She is your power. She is your voice. She is your inner-strength. The Everyday Feminist aims to expose and explore the dynamics of gender inequities that play out in the home, so that you (both women and men) can be equally productive and feel equally satisfied with your domestic and relational lives.
"The Everyday Feminist" airs live weekly on Sundays from 5-6pm on G-town Radio in Philadelphia. It can be heard on the air at 92.9FM, online at gtownradio.com, and on most podcast platforms.
Gestalt theory offers a way of looking at how people can change through their interactions with their environment: the cycle of experience. In this episode, Lois explains how this model can be used to change how we experience housework and caring for our homes and relationships. She and co-host Stephanie explore the stages people go through as they see what is, imagine what could be, and integrate new actions. If you are feeling stuck or unmotivated, this episode is for you!
Data show that even though women report far greater levels of stress and overwhelm than men, they also report feeling generally happier. What is going on? In this episode, Stephanie and Lois discuss the irony that women get little, if any, leisure time but still say they are generally happy, while men remain unhappy even though they have hours more leisure time and report far less overwhelm than women. Is there a way to make sense of these findings? Listen in and find out.
Research shows that women smile more than men. Why does this happen and what does it mean? In this episode, Lois and Stephanie review a large metaanalytic study involving all scientific data on gender and smiling. They go point-by-point thrugh the findings in order to understand the circumstances under which women smile more and men smile less and and those where men and women smile equally. Check it out.
According to Lyz Lenz, in America, marriage is "a relationship made unequal not by accident, but as a function of a society that relies on inequality to fill in the gaps that it refuses to fund--childcare, eldercare." In this episode, Stephanie and Lois discuss the newly-released, powerfully candid book, "This American Ex-Wife," emphasizing its instant resonance not just with them and this show, but with women everywhere. (Within one week of its release, it made the NY Times top-10 best-seller list.)
"But I don't have anything to say."In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois explore the meaning of non-responsive silences, often by men toward women, by asking, what is someone really saying when they say they have nothing to say?
Love: Brought To You By Valentine's Day. In this February-14th-inspired episode, Lois and Stephanie reflect on Valentine's Day and discuss the varying ways it's viewed in American culture. They ask, is it a sweet day for showing genuine love and affection, or is it a heteronormative, capitalistic, sexist pseudo-holiday? (Or is it just a day for kids?) And, also: What exactly is love anyway? Check it out.
Connecting with song lyrics can be both powerful and healing. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie talk to NYC-based singer-songwriter Shilpa Ray about the fiercely resonant lyrics of the songs in her album "Portrait of a Lady." Shilpa describes the inspiration for the album, the stories behind each song, the critical role of truth and honesty in social change, and the necessity of pressing on.
*be advised this episode contains explicit language
The meaning of a word can sometimes depend on the context in which it’s stated. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie talk about well-intentioned but now-aggravating words that, to them at least, have been corrupted by mis- and over-use.
Is unconditional love a basic emotion, a sweet fantasy, a birthright, or a spiritual achievement? And how does the expectation of condition-free love show up in our relationships, for better or worse? In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois explore their thoughts on unconditional love, asking whether or not love should, if fact, have conditions.
Why aren't people dating and getting married at the same rates as before? Why do women get told, instead of asked, what the problem is? In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois explore the social and psychological issues that play out in modern relationships.
One of the best parts of Thanksgiving, many would say, is the leftovers. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie discuss common Thanksgiving Leftover Fantasies and go on to explore the underlying gender dynamics of food, cooking, and feeding. It’s important to notice who feeds whom, and to make sure that everyone, especially the cook, is getting fed.
Thankfulness is in focus at this time of year. In this episode, Stephanie and Lois explore the secret to finding, feeling, and practicing deep gratitude…and explain why we must do it.
Not every problem has to be someone’s fault. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie explore the human tendency to assign blame, either to ourselves or others, even when it’s not necessary. What’s that about?
To have better relationships, we have to step out of ourselves to imagine what it is like to be someone else. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie explore the (very) American notion if individualism. They discuss how it develops, what function it serves, it’s potentially detrimental consequences, and how we can overcome it to build fulfilling alliances at home and elsewhere.
“Why are we doing this?” is a question JJ Bola encourages men to ask themselves and each other. He joins Stephanie and Lois from London to discuss his powerful and important book, written for men, “Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined.” Together, they explore his views on the social construct of maleness and his thoughts on how a little self-reflection can give men the power to live fuller, more connected lives. You’ll want to share this episode with everyone you know! (Find Mr. Bola online at: www.jjbola.com.)
If someone’s feelings are hurt by something you say, does that make you “mean”? Or does it make the hurt person “sensitive”? Or does it reflect another dynamic altogether? In this episode, Stephanie and Lois talk about perceptions (and misperceptions) of female meanness and what it says about how women are experienced by others, and how they, in turn, experience themselves.
Being born male has advantages. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie review some of the benefits of being a man, and explore ways men can make more room at the table for women…or not.
What qualities come to mind when you think of a “good man”? In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie review a list of internet-generated qualities to see if they agree with its conception of a “good man.” (Nice Surprise: it turns out the list is not gender-specific.)
For women, saying what you mean is often complicated by gender and relationship dynamics. In this episode, Stephanie and Lois disentangle the common experience many women have when they speak up and offer ways that men and women can shift this dynamic to create unbreakable relationships.
The new feminist satire film "Barbie" has caused quite a stir in theaters and on the internet. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie discuss what they each loved about the layers and themes in movie...and then go on to give several solid reasons why every man out there should go watch it right now!
(Spoiler alert! This movie is described in detail, so you may want to watch it before you listen.)
Have you ever been told to stop “acting like a victim”? In this episode, Stephanie and Lois deconstruct the idea of victimhood, exploring how being accused of “playing the victim” actually victimizes women.
Women commonly have no choice but to do more than one thing at a time, often without conscious choice or awareness. In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois explore the complex underpinnings of women's multitasking...and discuss ways to still find joy at moments when it becomes overwhelming.
Sometimes, women need encouragement...and other times, they need HELP. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie talk about the importance of listening to women when they tell you what they need (and then giving it to them)!
Mothers notoriously have no time-even on Mother’s Day. In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois explore the busy lives of mothers and the impossibility of “making the time” to do it all.
In this episode-Lois and Stephanie discuss a question that was recently trending on social media: “Men, what feminine qualities turn you on?” They look to the answers to this question to see if (1) they can figure out what the men who replied consider to be “feminine” and (2) to see if they agree. Check it out!
Zach Watson has built a strong social media presence with his videos depicting men's power to liberate women by being equal partners and parents. Check him out on Instagram @realzachthinkshare, and then check out Lois and Stephanie's conversation with him to hear why he does what he does, what it means to him, and just how much his message of equal partnership matters!
Not giving someone what they want from you can be hard, especially when you have been socialized to prioritize the comfort of others. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie explore the difficulties that women, in particular, have with saying “no”…and offer some ways that women can overcome them!
Caring for the home is an equal opportunity job—anyone can do it! Check out this episode to learn some mental, emotional, psychological, and practical tips and tricks for getting your home organized, so you can feel good living in it!
In honor of Women's Day, hosts Lois and Stephanie explore the cost to society of women's inability to take the space they need to reach their potential. They examine the question of what would happen if, instead, women played an ongoing game of "patriarchal chicken" - and did not sacrifice themselves in service of others.
Lois and Stephanie revamped the list of abusive “seduction” techniques described in their last episode to include healthy, enjoyable (and even exciting!) legitimate methods of healthy seduction and relatedness. Check it out and spread the love!
Robert Greene's disturbing book, "The Art of Seduction," has likely contributed to the unhealthy relational dynamics between men and women. In today's special Valentine's episode, Lois and Stephanie deconstruct this dangerous "art", offering insight into the ways in which it misuses psychological phenomena to do more harm than good, especially to women. If you have been strategically manipulated, ghosted, gaslit, or confused--this may help you understand why. (Hint: It's not you.)
Being called a “feminist” should make you feel proud, not insulted. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie explore the distortions of feminism that have given it a bad rap, and why, in reality, we should all be glad to be feminists!
Any relationship expert will tell you that good communication is the key to a healthy relationship. But what, exactly, is good communication? In this episode, Stephanie and Lois discuss the technical side of talking and texting, and explore how to create satisfying reciprocal conversations at home and beyond.
The majority of women don't feel safe walking after dark. And on short winter days, when the sun sets early, women tend to feel even more vulnerable. In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois discuss women's fears and their right to basic safety--both outside and inside the home. They also offer up some ideas about how male allies can help women feel (and be) more secure.
What excuses keep you from making your new year’s resolutions happen? Do you get caught up in a cycle of “trying” that, ironically, keeps you stuck? If so, listen in as Lois and Stephanie explore ways that you can turn your trying in doing in 2023!
Creating holiday magic takes planning, effort, and persistence. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie sift through the mountain of added mental, emotional, and physical work that women do around the holidays...and offer some suggestions for how to shift the holiday experience from full of woe to full of wonder.
Curating a holiday experience for others to enjoy often represents the effortful work of women. In preparation for Thanksgiving, Lois and Stephanie explore the concept of domestic and relational effort: what it means, who provides it, why it gets avoided, and how it can be reframed to better serve us all.
Do you sometimes feel cursed by your own competence? Can you get things done when no one else seems able to, leaving you doing all the work? If so, then this episode is for you. Lois and Stephanie deconstruct strategic maneuvers of incompetence that people use to keep competent, conscientious women overworked, tired, frustrated, and feeling invisible. They also explore some ways out of this dynamic and into more harmonious and balanced relationships.
Stephanie and Lois could not think of a better topic for a Halloween feminist radio show than...WITCHES. In this episode, they talk about the history of "witch" propaganda, the patriarchal function of "witchcraft", the qualities that have historically made a woman a "witch".....and...for those who want to be really spooked on Halloween...the current witch hunts that are happening today.
"Not ALL men don't do the dishes." What makes men need to be the exception to the rule when women share their experiences of men? In this episode, Stephanie and Lois attempt to sort out the quandary of what makes male self-reflection seem so hard to come by. Check it out!
"We have begun to raise our daughters to be more like sons. But few have the courage to raise our sons to be more like daughters." -Gloria Steinam
Under a patriarchal system, as boys develop, they are encouraged away from warmth, relating, and emotional awareness/expression, and equality, and are instead encouraged toward power, dominance, anger, and hierarchy. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie use bell hooks' book "The Will To Change" to frame a discussion the damage patriarchy does to both men and women...and what we can all do to stop it.
In the US today, women are frequently instructed (often with good intentions) to take better care of themselves. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie break-down the concept of "self-care": is it a helpful suggestion and sign of support, or is it an impossible capitalistic Western oxymoron? Check it out and see what you think!
We all make mistakes in our relationships. However, in relationships between men and women, women are generally thought to be the caretakers and healers of relational problems. In this episode, hosts Stephanie and Lois discuss the unnecessary feminizing of forgiveness and explore ways that our daily actions at home can close the empathy gender gap.
"Hermeneutic Labor" is a new concept described by modern feminist philosopher, Ellie Anderson. It describes the multilevel, multisensory, anticipatory relational maintenance work that women routinely and unconsciously do on behalf of men. In this episode, Lois and Stephanie break down hermeneutic labor and discuss it's widely-accepted everyday counterpart, women's intuition.
In the third episode of the Everyday Feminist's "Healthy Relationships" series, hosts Stephanie and Lois discuss the complexity of relational RESPECT: What is it? Who deserves it? Should it be earned or freely given? And how can you recognize when it becomes a tool of abuse?
In the second episode of the "Healthy Relationships" series, hosts Lois and Stephanie discuss the many levels of of UNDERSTANDING that women want and need in their relationships...and they review the many simple ways that you can give it to them. Why? Because The Everyday Feminist craves understanding and the empathy, love, concern, care, and, ultimately, respect that it demonstrates. ❤️
Want to defy the patriarchy? Build healthy, equal, respectful relationships! Whereas the patriarchy thrives on broken relationships, The Everyday Feminist thrives on healthy ones. In this first episode of the "Healthy Relationships" series, hosts Lois and Stephanie explore the dismal state of interpersonal TRUST in America. They talk about the societal and psychological reasons why problems like dishonesty and secrecy can wreck relationships...and tell you how to get your relationship back on track when trust has been compromised (and how to exit gracefully when trust can't be rebuilt). Check it out.
In light of the US Supreme Court's recent eradication of women's reproductive rights, The Everyday Feminist has been wondering...what does it mean for a woman to be "independent" when her freedom is being restricted? To answer this question, hosts Lois and Stephanie explore qualities associated with independence - and the cultural double-bind that surrounds independence for women. They also come up with ways that women can reassert their rights and strengthen their voices - through equality at home!
We all need to be supported in different ways and to different degrees. In this episode, hosts Lois and Stephanie discuss relational & domestic support -- including how to give it, how to get it, and how it can benefit us all. If you need more support in your life, if you want to learn more about how to be a support for someone else, or if you want some tips for building a supportive community--then this is the episode for you!
The Everyday Feminist cannot ignore the current threat to legal abortion in America, not even on Mother's Day. In this special episode, hosts Lois Volta and Stephanie Heck speak with guest, abortion policy expert and author of "Labor Strike" and "Without Apology: The Abortion Struggle Now," Jenny Brown. They discuss the history, future, and role of abortion in America, as well as the collective power we have to change course. If you want to know the behind-the-scenes story of what the abortion debate is really about, and what you can do about it, then you don't want to miss this powerful episode.
Welcome to the inaugural episode of The Everyday Feminist! Press "play" to meet your hosts, Domestic Consultant and Entrepreneur, Lois Volta, and Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Stephanie Heck...and to learn what the show is all about. Who is The Everyday Feminist? What does she stand for? And how can we all learn from her? Listen in and let her give you permission to speak out!