Anxiety in Me: Recent Episodes
Rio
As a Japanese introvert who love escaping to fictional world to avoid real life shit, Rio's mind is mix of anxiety and excitement. In this podcast, she will talk about thoughts and opinions which sometimes make her want to scream at 3 in the morning. Her sexuality crisis, stories from the past, movie reviews... Get ready to join her mind tour!!
Few weeks ago, I did something that I never thought I could. Traveling to the country I've never been before all by myself to see my celebrity crush. In this episode I talked about my experiences in detail, why now and how it happened. Getting out of my comfort zone was definitely a scary experience, but I think it was worth it.
I was so anxious about the recent mcu movie "The Marvels". First of all, the strike was still going on until few days before the release date. Second, I knew there are certain amounts of insecure male population will totally hate this movie, even without watching it. And yes, as I expected, things really didn't go well. But I feel like this was very fun, well structured movie, people just judged it too early. I talked about what I liked and felt about each characters and storyline, so please go check out!!
As the show like "Good omens" and "Our flag means death" are trending on the internet, I can't help but to think back of the era of queerbaiting, which, in my opinion messed up quite a lot of people's emotions. Also, as some people claim celebrities are "queerbaiting" these days, it made me think what queerbaiting really is, and why it's an issue. Let's listen, and find out together.
These days, I see many arguments and discussions going on about the casting of live action movies, which often discusses about skin color, race and sexuality. At the same time, I always see "we don't need a diversity in movies/tv shows" comments ALL THE TIME. Is it true ? Is representation for minority not necessarily to tell the stories? Let's talk about it.
⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️
It's finally time to talk about it ! Ever since Endgame, the expectations for MCU movies are pretty high, especially when it's a final movie. But oh my god this movie was much better than I thought, and is a beautiful masterpiece. I talked about what made this movie so great (since there are so many fantastic movies about space out there already), and the characters. Feel free to comment your thoughts on Instagram, @anxietyin_me. Last but not least, goodbye guardians.
I, personally, have been wearing glasses for more than ten years, and I can't quite function without them. As I get older, I realized many people around my age switched to contact lenses (which I never tried). It seems like some people chose that for convenience, but others did so in order to get "prettier". This makes me wonder, is wearing glasses ugly? Is it preventing us from "glowing up" ? Let's discuss about this !
SPOILER ALERT !!
I finally watched the famous movie RRR, and I just can't stop thinking about it. Everything about this movies is different from the other movies (mostly American) I have ever watched. Thus I decided to talk about this three hours long movie, about all the things I loved. It's just me, being enthusiastic as ever, trying to explain why this movie is so good. I have already said this countless time in this episode, but if you haven't watched it please please please watch it. It's totally worth watching at the theater.
Eat. Sleep. Have sex. These are the famous desires that are believed most people have. If we aren't fulfilled these desires, that's why you are angry or sad, we say. But do these desires really apply to everyone? Does lacking any of these three makes you "less human-like" ? In this episode, I explored the thoughts I have for each desire, to find out which one should be most prioritized. By the way, Anxiety in Me now have official Instagram account, so please go follow @anxietyin_me to catch up with new information <3
I joined the practice of the chorus club I used to join, and that reminds me a lot about my time in junior high school. There are people I haven't seen for a long time. Some people change dramatically, and others stay quite the same. Junior high school is a pretty interesting time, as we are not children but not adults. After couple of practices, I can't help myself but to wonder if people can change. If they can, how much? In what circumstances ? Today I unraveled the question from two perspectives, both physical change and mental change.
I became a big anime nerd last year, and I realized an interesting culture going on. There are certain people in every fandom, people who have access to their money tend to buy over hundreds of same items. There are pictures and videos posted on social media, from them buying them to displaying them. Those actions made me wonder, why do people (including me) feel this urge to buy everything we have access to ? Overconsumption is such a thing in every category (make up, clothes and etc), but does that actually bring happiness to you? Let's find out.
When the clock hit 0:00 for the first time in 2022, I was very excited. I knew this year is going to be legen - wait for it- dary (I was watching himym at that time so I used this phrase a lot). But this year was the hardest year of my life, and I realized, things don't always go as well as I planned. There were many moments I tried to improve, to be a better person, but you can't just dramatically change in one day, and it made me more and more depressed. I recently realized that progress is not about constantly growing up. In this episode, I talked about progress, the biggest lesson I learned from the hardest year of my life. I hope my 2023 will change me in a good way.
(Spoiler Alert) August 2020, the beloved actor Chadwick Boseman sadly passed away. I was very curious how they are going handle this movie without Black Panther. In conclusion, I cried a lot, A LOT while watching this movie. I cried like a huge baby. Honestly this was the best two hours experience I had in the theater this year. For some reasons, the absence of T'Challa made me remind more and more about the time he was present on screen. Each actors did phenomenal job to deliver their own griefs. Now I can say this confidently, that even though the people we loved were gone, doesn't mean they are really gone. Rest In Peace, Chadwick. Wakanda Forever.
Being able to speak another language fluently is so much fun than it sounds. Today, I talked about how I learned and became confident in speaking English. I feel like Japanese people in general are good at writing and listening, but somehow not in speaking. You don't have to buy English textbook or use complicated words to be "good" at English. All it takes are a certain environment and your will to learn it.
As someone who have an experience living outside of Japan, I can't help but notice that Japanese beauty standard is toxic. The cosmetic industry will always make you feel you aren't good enough. Pictures on social media are pretty much heavily edited these days. I'm not saying we should all stop it, but it just helps growing insecurities inside of teenagers. Today I mentioned few things I realized while spending my puberty in this country for few years. Remember, everybody is beautiful in their own way, and you don't have to fit in to prove that !
Today, I took a break from discussing my opinions about certain topics. Instead, I decided to focus about my current life. September is my favorite month, because my birthday is on September. I mostly talked about how I spent few days around my birthday this year, and what I want to achieve in next semester since today is also the last day of my summer vacation. Hope you can enjoy listening to this episode <3
I had so much fun during summer vacation. But at the same time, I felt like there is this super high standard for "enjoying your life". These days, everything we do or did in our life immediately go to social media like Instagram or TikTok. Why do we always feel like we have to prove that we are having fun, quality time ? Is it impossible to actually enjoy our life without worrying about how good we look in the photo？ Let's find out.
What is a family? Well, it goes without saying that each of us have a different view of it. As for me, I have experiences of living with both of my parents and raised by a single parent. Also as a bi person, I have no idea how I am going to shape my future family, which makes me worry A LOT. How will I even get pregnant? Will I adopt a baby or hook up with a strange dude? Who will take care of my child? Will I be single? If so, who will do my funerals and visit my grave? Today, I unpacked all those concerns I have about "family", so that I can discuss the shape of family (and possibly about my grave as well.)
As an introvert, I don't have that much friends, but I do have all kinds of friends. Let me tell you, they are all very genius, energetic and fantastic. Their parents must be really proud of them. The thing is, I sometimes feel like shit because comparing to them, I am just a basic average teenager. I don't have this specific plans or goal for my future. I haven't really done any fantastic stuffs to make my parents proud. And that's just my personal issue. They aren't problems, my insecurities are. I honestly don't have a big solution for this (if you do, pls tell me), so I just basically confessed this feeling I've had for so many years. By the way, I love my friends. They are amazing, and I'm lucky to be friends of them.
I've always wanted to do this 73 questions thing with Vogue so I did, except it's 50 questions and my answers are way too long and complicated than that. I was suppose to discover something new and unique about myself, but ended up realizing how I'm lazy and weak at English vocabulary. Anyway, I am not sure who would like to listen to me just answering 50 questions, but please enjoy.
I was only 15 years old when I lost my mother. I suddenly had to face various difficulties and grief that I have never experienced in the past. I was in really dark place that I even had a suicidal thought. Sure, the friends were really nice to me but you cannot really understand grief if you don't experience it. I took this opportunity to appreciate my mom, and to show you one example of grief. Last but not least, I hope my mom is proud of me.
When I tell you it was hard for me to experience sexual identity crisis in Japan, I mean it. Maybe it is not easy to be gay in anywhere around the world (sadly), but being bi in Japan meant you have no information or role model. I basically talked about how I use to think about myself, from the moment I realized I am gay to today. As growing up, I had no one to talk or hear about these things, so I hope this episode can help those who need support. We are all valid.
"I can still handle this by myself." "I'm fine." "There is nothing to worry about". I kept telling those things to myself, when I knew I was at my lowest point. Why? Because I was too scared to open up to people, even to my own parent. But I slowly started to realize that I have to, otherwise I will break myself. This is the story about how I overcame my trust issue. And lastly, Happy Pride Month !!
SPOILER ALERT !!(Obviously) I think most of the fandom have been waiting for a really long time to watch this movie. All though this movie was a bit differ from what we've expected, it gave us a new type of MCU movie. In this episode, I talked about my opinions for each characters (including new guys), and how I thought after finished watching it. And damn I seriously do hope there is at least ONE universe where I can talk to boys without constantly traumatizing myself lmao.
Yes the rumor is true.. I used to be ashamed of liking anime. I know anime is worshipped in foreign countries, but I just couldn't understand why. Today I confessed why I was ashamed of that to begin with, and how I overcame that. Also, shout out to my current no.1 favorite anime called Prince of Tennis!! The important lesson is that you should never let other people judge about the things you really love.
Don't Say Gay bill really made me realize the importance of LGBTQ education. In this episode, I looked back my own life to acknowledge the necessity of it. Trust me, you have no idea how ignorant I was and how much I regret it. Last but not least, SAY GAY.
Trouble don't last always is the title of Euphoria's special episode. Ever since I watched that episode, this word stuck inside of my head. Last week, I experienced something that completely changed the aspect of my life. And when I was in my lowest point, this word appeared in my head again. Is it really true that trouble don't last always or time can fix everything? Let's find out
SPOILER ALERT!! It's never too late talk about this amazing movie. Even though I accidentally saw the spoiler before I watch it, watching no way home was one of the most fantastic experiences I've ever had in the theater. Let me share my first memory of Spiderman to how I thought of this movie ;)
Welcome to Anxiety in Me !! I can't believe this is really happening. I'm so excited!! In this episode, I introduced myself and explained why I decided to start podcast. I hope this will be a good fresh start.