Confessions of a Grieving Mother: Recent Episodes
Emma's Footprints
Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death affects more families than you may realize. Tracy and Julie (two grieving mothers) are here to help educate, support and break the stigma behind this topic of pregnancy and infant loss. Join us as laugh, cry and remember our babies!
Type of Loss: Stillbirth
More about Lindsey's Story: In this episode, Tracy and Julie talk with Lindsey Henke a psychotherapist, author, speaker and loss mama.
In 2012, Lindsey was freshly married and a newly practicing psychotherapist when she found out she is pregnant with her first child. After a perfect pregnancy, Lindsey went into laborโonly to be told upon arrival at the hospital that her baby has no heartbeat.
After the stillbirth of her daughter, Lindsey grappled with the unbearable agony of losing a child. Over the next year and half, as she mourned the loss of one child while simultaneously trying to hold space for the joy of expecting another baby, she learned that grief can live side by side with joy.
When Skies Are Gray offers a poignant message to any mother who is grieving: Your pain is real. The sharp ache of the grief you feel will soften over time, though your love for the child you lost will always remain. And itโs okay to feel that love; itโs a motherโs love, and like lullabies, a motherโs love never dies.
Lindsay's Resources:
- https://lindseymhenke.com
- Purchase Lindsay's Book: When Skies Are Gray
- Pregnancy After Loss Support
- Download the Pregnancy After Loss Support App
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: @EmmasFootprints
- Instagram: @EmmasFootprints
Listen as Tracy and Julie talk with Brad Kogut from Guys and Grief and Rob Reider from Sad Dads Club for a special Father's Day episode.
Episode Resources:
- guysandgrief.com
- saddadsclub.com
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Infant Loss, Early Term Loss
More about Heather's Story: Listen as Heather shares her daughter Lyla with us. Lyla was 13 days old when she passed away due to strokes in her brain, caused by a rare genetic disorder.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
In this episode, in honor of Emma Kathryn Dailey's 17th birthday, Tracy and Julie reflect on Emma's Footprints from its beginning, discuss what the organization is today, and bring in a special guest, Pam Presler, to talk about the future of Emma's Footprints.
In this episode, Tracy and Julie discuss their grief journeys and how they have changed over the years. They provide tools that have allowed them to guide their grief rather than be controlled by it.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Life-Limiting Diagnosis, Terminating For Medical Reasons (TFMR)
More about Sabrina's Story: Listen as Sabrina shares Clara with us. Sabrina and her husband, Hector, had just gotten married and were actively trying to get pregnant with their second child when they found out they were expecting. In their second trimester, they were told their baby had hydrops, a condition in which large amounts of fluid build up in a baby's tissues and organs, causing extensive swelling. After extensive discussion and research, Sabrina and her husband decided to terminate the pregnancy. Listen as Sabrina dives deep into her feelings of this decision and how she turned her pain into purpose creating a community for TFMR families.
Sabrina's Recommended Resources:
- The TFMR Support Circle - Facebook Page
- Our TFMR Stories (Podcast)
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Listen as Tracy and Julie chat with our very own Meghan Slater, Emma's Bereavement Coordinator, and an L&D Nurse for a local hospital in Erie, PA. They dive deep into answering some of our nurses' most pressing questions about how to navigate a loss with their patients.
More about Meghan:
Meghanโs grief story started when she lost her first pregnancy in October 2014. After almost 2 years and lots of emotional healing, she was finally open to talking through her grief with Tracy and other moms.
When Meghanโs rainbow baby Jackson turned a year old she started a course to become a certified birth and bereavement doula and is now a registered nurse for a local hospital here in Erie. She knew in her heart that no mom should have to walk this road of grief alone.
Connect with Meghan at meghan@emmasfootprints.com.
In this episode, Tracy and Julie talk with loss mamas Ashley, Stacy, and Jessica about Mother's Day and how it changes after a loss. We dive deep into the feelings of being a Mother and how that feels even though our children may not be here with us. We wish you a gentle Mother's Day this year.
Type of Loss: Early Term Loss
More about Stacey's Story: After years of trying to conceive, Stacey and her husband, Brandon, decided to foster to adopt in which they were blessed with 6 children. They still had a strong desire to conceive, they turned to IVF, and had a successful pregnancy with their son Owen. They had one more embryo and decided to transfer their sweet girl, Vivian. All was going so well with the transfer and all of her numbers were great. Until one Sunday morning as she was leading worship, she started to bleed on stage and unfortunately lost their sweet girl.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Early Term Loss, Multiple Losses, Stillbirth
More about Samantha's Story: Listen as Samantha shares her sweet babies Baby Lohrman and Avonlea with us. Samantha and her husband, CJ, were ecstatic when they found out they were expecting their first baby in 2021. Unfortunately, that excitement turned to sorrow when they were told at their first doctors appointment their baby didn't have a heartbeat. Listen as Samantha walks us through the grief she felt experiencing an early term loss. When they found out they were expecting again, they were quite reserved because of losing their first baby. Samantha describes her pregnancy with Avonlea as a textbook pregnancy. At 27 weeks gestation, Samantha went to the hospital because she hadn't felt Avonlea move in awhile. It was there that doctors told her they could not find a heartbeat.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Early Term Loss, Multiple Losses, Terminating for Medical Reasons
More about Carmen's Story: Buckle up for this episode as Carmen shares her 11 beautiful babies with us. In this episode, she she dives deep into her pregnancies, grief and how she turned her pain into purpose. Carmen wrote A Diary to My Babies: Journeying Through Pregnancy Loss to shine light on the darkness of pregnancy loss, while also showing there is no right way to grieve. And through her incredible journey, Carmen hopes the story of her family and her babies just might help others to heal.
Purchase Carmen's book A Diary to My Babies: Journeying through Pregnancy Loss here:
- https://amzn.to/4at4Myb
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.comFacebook: EmmasFootprints
Listen as Tracy and Julie talk more with Shawn Betts, Courtney's Mom. Shawn found purpose in her pain of losing her daughter Courtney, by connecting with other loss moms to form the missing angel bill. A bill that would allow you to get a birth certificate for your baby that died after 20 weeks gestation. Shawn dives into how she worked tirelessly with those moms to get that bill approved by the PA Senate. Today, Pennsylvania Senate Bill 326CBRS exists which allows parents to get a birth certificate for their baby who was stillborn because of moms like Shawn who found purpose in their pain.
You can listen to Shawn's story here: https://bit.ly/Meet-Courtney-S7
You can find out more about the Stillborn Birth Certificate here: www.emmasfootprints.com/stillborn-birth-certificate
Type of Loss: Stillbirth
More about Shawn's Story: Listen as Shawn shares Courtney with us. At 42 weeks gestation, Shawn went to the hospital to be induced, after about 7 hours of laboring doctors decided to send her home because she wouldnโt dilate past 3 centimeters. She woke in the middle of the night with horrible contractions and returned to the hospital. The doctors tried to find her baby's heartbeat, which was very strong hours earlier when she left the hospital. After numerous attempts, they confirmed her baby no longer had a heartbeat.
After Shawn's life became threatened, doctors ended up having to speed up the delivery process in order to deliver Courtney. Shawn says she'll never forget the silence of the room when she finally delivered Courtney. Listen to part 2 coming next week to find out how Shawn found purpose in her pain of losing her sweet daughter.
Connect with Shawn:
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/shawnbetts913
- Instagram: @shawnbetts913
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Early Term Loss
More about Alex's Story: Listen as Alex shares Sky with us. Alex and her husband David were so excited when they found out they were pregnant. At her first appointment, doctors confirmed Alex was pregnant, but she tells us she had a strange feeling leaving her appointment. At her next appointment, her unsettled feelings were confirmed when she was told her baby no longer had a heartbeat.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
In this episode, Tracy and Julie chat with Peter Burton and Karen Burton Horstman President and Vice President for Burton Quinn-Scott Cremation & Funeral Services here in Erie, PA. Over the past 10 years, they have truly become our friends in the business. They walk us through the process of handling a baby loss and answer all of our interesting questions.
Type of Loss: Stillbirth
More about Miranda's Story: Listen as Miranda shares her sweet Piper with us. Around 32 weeks gestation, Miranda noticed decrease fetal movement. Out of precaution, she went to the hospital to be monitored. After observation, she was released being told everything looked normal that Piper was just running out of room. A few days later, Miranda realized she hadn't felt Piper move in quite some time and returned to the hospital. It was there that doctors told her they could not find a heartbeat.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Early Term Loss, Ectopic Pregnancy, Multiple Losses
More about Erin's Story: Listen as Erin shares her sweet babies with us. Erin and her husband, Andy, were ecstatic when they found out they were pregnant for the first time. However, just three days later, she began bleeding. Her doctors told her that her pregnancy had been an ectopic pregnancy. Since her first pregnancy had been ectopic, her next pregnancy, with Grace, was closely monitored. Doctors were hopeful when her HCG levels were increasing and they found a heart beat. Sadly, not long later, it was confirmed that the baby was growing in her fallopian tube putting Erin's life in grave danger. She had to have her left fallopian tube removed in February 2015, and has not been pregnant since. Erin's message for listener's is there is hope and happiness is possible again after loss.
Connect with Erin:
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/erin.zeigler.10
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Infant Loss, Life Limiting Diagnosis [Restrictive cardiomyopathy]
More about Sara's Story: Listen as Sara shares her sweet June with us. Sara describes June as the perfect baby in every way. That all changed when June was four months old, she started making a strange sounds and just seemed sick. Thinking they were overreacting, Sara and her husband took June to the ER where their lives would be turned upside down. June was flown in a helicopter to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Extensive testing showed June had Restrictive Cardiomyopathy a life threatening condition. Within the next 10 days, June passed in Sara's arms while holding her dad's hand.
Connect with Sara:
- Instagram: @saravrablik
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Taboo Topic Series: This season, we are kicking off our Taboo Topic series where we discuss the uncomfortable topics that go hand-in-hand with losing your baby. If you have a suggestion for this series, please reach out to us at khristina@emmasfootprints.com.
Episode Warning: This episode discusses intimacy and sex after loss. Due to the nature of this topic, this may be an episode you chose to listen to with your headphones on.
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of Loss: Early Term Loss
More about Kristyn's Story: Listen as Kristyn shares her early term loss with us. Kristyn and her husband Nate were so excited when they got pregnant with Baby Ross #2. Their first pregnancy was what Kristyn described as a 'textbook pregnancy' that lead to their healthy son, Wesley. Their second pregnancy was going according to their life plan and smooth sailing until the 8 week ultrasound. Doctors found an empty sac without a fetus. Doctors told her not to worry too much and thought that maybe she was earlier in her pregnancy than she originally thought. Unfortunately, later ultrasounds confirmed their fears there was not a growing baby.
Connect with Kristyn:
- Instagram: @kristynazross
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
Type of loss: Multiple Losses, Early Term loss, Stillbirth
Connect with Nelida:
- Instagram: @Nel0528
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
- Instagram: @emmasfootprints
Type of Loss: Multiple Losses, Early Term Loss, Stillbirth
More about Brittanie's story: Listen as Brittanie shares her multiple losses with us. Brittanie and her Husband were ecstatic when they found out they were pregnant with their first, but their excitement quickly turned to heartbreak when they experienced an early term loss. When they got pregnant again, the fears diminished when Brittanie made it out of the first trimester. Her second pregnancy seemed to be a textbook pregnancy. At 39 weeks and 5 days gestation, Brittanie felt Lilah moving sporadically and soon felt contractions. As the contractions progressed, Brittanie and her husband went to the hospital filled with excitement to meet their baby girl. Upon arrival the nurses had trouble finding Lilah's heartbeat. The doctor came in and confirmed their worst fears, Lilah no longer had a heartbeat.
Connect with Brittanie:
- www.facebook.com/cannonbrittanie
- Instagram: @brittaniefreeman
Learn more about Emma's Footprints:
- www.EmmasFootprints.com
- Facebook: EmmasFootprints
- Instagram: @emmasfootprints
Listen as Tracy and Julie recap 2023 at Emma's Footprints. They share their high's, low's and most memorable moments of the last year.
In 2023, Emma's Footprints served 356 families and spent over $200,000 on mission related expenses.
Learn more about the Farewell Gala here: https://bit.ly/farewellwintergala
Type of loss: Multiple Losses, Life Limiting Diagnosis - Trisomy 18
Listen as Amber shares her multiple losses with us. Amber has 5 children including 3 losses and 2 living children.
Amber's first pregnancy in 2016, with her baby Archimedes ended in an early term loss. Her second pregnancy was with her living child Killian, born in October 2017. During Amber's third pregnancy with her daughter Charleigh, she was told her baby girl had Trisomy 18. At 36 weeks, in October 2019, Charleigh was born via c-section and lived for 117 minutes. In April 2020, Amber became pregnant for a fourth time with their second living child, Arthur. He was born full term and healthy in January 2021. In October 2022, Amber became pregnant for the fifth time with their baby Star, which ended in an early term loss.
๐๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐๐บ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฆ๐ผ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฎ๐น๐:
Instagram: @fabulous_foys
Facebook: www.facebook.com/amber.m.foy
Type of loss: Life Limiting Diagnosis - Trisomy 18
Kelly and her husband Nick found out their baby girl, Blaney, had Trisomy 18 from doing 10 week genetic testing. When Blaney made it to full term, they were hopeful that she'd be their miracle baby and survive this life limiting diagnosis. Unfortunately, Blaney passed away after just 7 hours after birth.
Connect with Kelly on socials:
Instagram: @k_smely
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kelly.reininger
This is the final episode of our 2023 Holiday Series and the final episode of the year! In this episode, Tracy and Julie discuss how to create new traditions to honor and memorialize your baby. As we move into a new year, it can can stir a wave of emotions. We are starting something new with a huge piece of our hearts missing, our babies. Tracy and Julie discuss things have done over the years that helps them honor their babies.
Listen as Tracy and Julie talk with Pam Presler about How to Navigate Your Emotions This Holiday Season. Spoiler Alert ...it is not possible. Listen as Pam gives us the tools and coping mechanisms to deal with our grief this holiday season. She reminds us that grief will show up and shares how we can prepare ourselves on how to best handle our grief.
If you are interested in learning more from Pam, please reach out to her via email at pamelapresler@gmail.com.
In honor of Wyatt's birthday, we are shaking up the Holiday Series to share his story. Hailey (Wyatt's mom) shares she had a pretty uneventful pregnancy, until the end, when she developed gestational hypertension around 34 weeks. Her doctors scheduled an induction for 37 weeks, however, she went into preeclampsia the day of her induction. Hailey shares that her induction failed and she had an emergency c-section. Wyatt was not breathing when he first emerged, but steadily got better after a few minutes. He had to spend five days in the NICU due to respiratory distress.
Hailey describes the next 4.5 months as pure bliss filled with Mommy & Me classes and new adventures. All of that changed on May 3, 2023 when Hailey received a call from daycare that changed her life forever. Wyatt was unresponsive after his nap.
EMT's and donors tried to resuscitate him but were never able to bring him back.
This is episode two of our 2023 Holiday Series. In this episode, Tracy and Julie talk about how to set healthy boundaries and how important it is to your grief journey. They give examples of healthy boundaries they have set for themselves and ask you to share what boundaries you have set.
In this episode, Tracy and Julie talk with Falon Gervais Emma's Footprints Director of Support Group about the Importance of Community During the Holidays. They talk about surrounding yourself with a positive, healthy support community and how to effectively communicate your needs this holiday season.
Listen as Ashley shares how her text book pregnancy got flipped upside down at 33 weeks gestation when she went into preterm labor. When Ashley's water broke the doctors discovered it to be foul-smelling and discolored, meaning there was an issue. Ashley was rushed into an emergency c-section and Harper was born at exactly 34 weeks gestation. The doctors believed that Harper was without oxygen for up to 20 minutes. They were able to resuscitate her, but she was on life support. Doctors discovered both Ashley and Harper had a life threatening infection. Later that evening, Harper passed, her tiny body was not strong enough to fully develop and fight the infection.
Listen as Tracy and Julie dive into this special Thanksgiving episode ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ณ: ๐๐ด ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข ๐๐ฐ๐ด๐ด? They share how they navigate their grief through the holidays, the difference between happiness and joy and they share inspiring ways for you to honor your baby this season.
Listen as Nicole shares her stillbirth experience. She was 37 weeks pregnant with her son Jack when she noticed decrease movement. She went to triage where she was told the devastating news that Jack no longer had a heartbeat.
To learn more about Emma's Footprints and the recourses we provide, please visit emmasfootprints.com.
Listen as Tori shares how her first two pregnancies both ended in loss. Her first loss was at 9 weeks gestation. She ended up getting pregnant very quickly following her loss and says she had a false sense of security thinking - it couldn't happen again. Unfortunately, when she went in for the anatomy scan, she was told her baby no longer had a heartbeat.
To learn more about Emma's Footprints and the recourses we provide, please visit emmasfootprints.com.
Listen as Sarah shares her daughter Georgia who was stillborn. In late March of 2021, Sarah and her husband Rob, discovered they were pregnant. While this pregnancy came as a surprise they were excited to welcome a baby girl to their family because their other two children were boys. Sarah describes her pregnancy as a textbook pregnancy.
On November 30th, when she was 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant she noticed decrease fetal movement. Following her doctors orders, she went straight to the hospital. It was there in triage that they were told her baby didn't have a heartbeat. Listen as Sarah shares how she is finding purpose in her pain.
Teri and her husband, Jay, thought they were done having kids after their second child was born. Jay had a vasectomy, however they felt like they had made a mistake and had the reversal. They got pregnant immediately after trying again for their third child.
At Teri's first sonogram the baby wasnโt measuring correctly. Doctors told her that her dates were probably off and they scheduled a follow up in two weeks. She started spotting a couple days after her sonogram. Listen as Teri shares her horrifying experience of being rushed into emergency surgery and leaving her with PTSD.
Listen as Shannon shares Charles and Benedictus with us, two different pregnancy's that both ended in loss.
Charlie, was Shanon and her husband Justin's eighth child. Shannon's pregnancy with Charlie was unlike the rest of her earlier pregnancies. She had experienced heavy bleeding at 6 weeks gestation and was told she was most likely miscarrying. She waited for signs of miscarriage and nothing ever happened. Then when she showed up for her original 10 week ultrasound they had cancelled the appointment thinking she had already miscarried. After pleading with them to make room in the schedule, the doctors were amazed when they saw that heartbeat on the screen. However, about halfway through her pregnancy Charlie was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. After receiving the Trisomy 18 diagnosis, Shannon started writing letters to Charlie to help connect and cope. (They can be found by searching #letterstocharlie on Facebook.) She carried Charlie until 36 weeks gestation when he died during labor.
Almost a year later, Shannon miscarried her next pregnancy, Benedictus. They had a funeral and buried him on Charlieโs first heavenly birthday. Then a year later their double rainbow baby, Zuzu, was born June 7 and baptized on Charlieโs 2nd heavenly birthday and Benedictusโ funeral day.
Listen as Tracy and Julie chat with Amanda Berk, Emma's Footprints Director of Bereavement about our mission. They touch on who we are, what we do and how you can support a loved one going through a pregnancy or infant loss.
To learn more, visit emmasfootprints.com
Listen as Emily shares the loss of her daughter Isabel.
Emily and her husband, Kyle, got pregnant right away before they were even officially trying to get pregnant. She shares that her pregnancy was very smooth until she was just shy of 23 weeks and didn't feel Isabel move all day. She went to triage and they gave her the devastating news that they could not find a heartbeat. At 23 weeks gestation, Isabel was stillbirth.
Emily, thank you for sharing your sweet Isabel with us and our listeners.
Listen as Lindsay shares her sweet Suvi with us. Lindsay shares she had a textbook pregnancy and really bonded with Suvi even before she was born. At 40 weeks gestation, Suvi had decreased movements. Lindsay went to the hospital where she was rushed into an emergency c-section because of Suvi's low heart rate. When she woke from surgery, Lindsay and her husband Travis, were told Suvi had a severe true knot in her umbilical chord that was tightening more and more as Lindsay was having contractions. Suvi had to be resuscitated for 14 minutes after being delivered, and after multiple scans and tests she was confirmed brain dead. On Suvi's due date, Lindsay and Travis made the gut-wrenching decision to take her off life support.
Listen as Julie shares her son Evan with us. Julie did not know she was pregnant until she went into labor at a MedExpress. Since she had never had any pregnancy symptoms and no prior prenatal care, doctors estimated she was around 30-32 weeks when she went into labor. After arriving at the hospital, Evan was was diagnosed with HLHS, a rare genetic condition in which the left side of the heart is underdeveloped. In this type of condition, a minimum of 3 surgeries are needed within the first 2 years of life in order for survival. They were told that a majority of children with this condition do not reach their 18th birthday.
Evan also had a leaky tricuspid valve so the cardiologists at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh weren't able to offer surgery to correct it, meaning that his condition would ultimately end in death either by leaving him on the ventilator or removing life support. Julie and her husband made the difficult decision to remove life support, so that Evan would no longer be in pain.
Listen as Taylor shares her experience of abruptly and unexpectedly losing her son, Stetson at 19 weeks gestation. She shares that she didn't realize she was in labor and losing him until it was happening. Her doctors, testing and specialist deemed her loss due to cervical insufficiency.
Grateful to have answers, her and her husband, were hopeful when they got pregnant 5 months later with their daughter Matilda. At 14 weeks gestation, she had a transvaginal cerclage placed. Even with consistent ultrasounds to measure her cervical length, she lost Matilda at 26 weeks gestation.
Listen as Kirsten shares Theo with us. Kirsten and her husband are high school sweethearts and knew they wanted to grow a family and were excited when they found out they were expecting.
She was 7 weeks gestation when she began bleeding. She was instructed to head to the ER for monitoring and a checkup. After more severe cramping and bleeding she lost her baby.
Kirsten shares that day she not only lost her baby, but herself. Following her loss, she describes her life being plagued by blood draws, ovulation tests, negative pregnancy tests, doctor appointments, depression, a diagnosis of PCOS, failure to ovulate without medication, infertility, testing, ultrasounds, and finally, in August of 2018, she received a positive pregnancy test. She went on to experience all the fears, joys, and nerves of pregnancy after loss. They welcomed their rainbow baby in 2019.
Postpartum Kirsten began writing and drawing, and decided to turn her poetry into a book which was published in 2022. โRearrangedโ is an award-winning collection on her journey, and the journey of so many others who travel the path of loss. A year later, she published her first childrenโs book, โI Love You From Heaven.โ
๐You can connect with Kirsten here: www.kirstenhopfensperger.com
๐www.amazon.com/rearranged-Kirsten-Hopfensperger/dp/B09SP5XLXK/
๐www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2S279JL
Listen as Stephanie shares her daughter Josie with listeners. She had two healthy pregnancy and deliveries after getting married in 2014. Then with her third pregnancy she experienced an early-term miscarriage. After experiencing that loss, she got pregnant right away with her daughter Josie. Her pregnancy was smooth until she started to experience less and less movement. At an appointment when she was 24.5 weeks she was told Josie no longer had a heartbeat.
When a rainbow baby is expected, the grief journey changes. Each step is a "baby step" in navigating the new challenges that come with pregnancy and parenthood after loss. Baby Steps is a peer-led support group of Emma's Footprints who's mission is to provide a community and support for loss parents who are expecting or raising their rainbow baby.
๐Learn more about Baby Steps here: www.emmasfootprints.com/support-groups
๐Join the Baby Steps Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/BabyStepsFB
Listen as Lauren shares her son, Henry with us. She had two previous healthy pregnancies which resulted in her living children Rowan and Calvin. Her pregnancy with her son, Calvin, was smooth sailing until delivery. At delivery she was told Calvin had too much fluid around his heart. He spent 5 weeks in the NICU but overall lives a healthy life. Her third pregnancy ended much differently with her son Henry. At an appointment at 18 weeks gestation, she was told Henry had too much fluid around his heart. After close monitoring, they were told their baby had Hydrops Fetalis which is a life-threatening problem. Hydrops develops when too much fluid leaves the baby's bloodstream and goes into the tissues. At 22 weeks she no longer felt Henry move and was told he no longer had a heartbeat. He was stillborn at 22 weeks gestation.
Listen as Regina shares her four losses including 2 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy and the loss of her daughter, Jordan, at 17 weeks gestation due to a cord accident.
Listen as Sofiya shares her son Emerson with us. Sofiya and her husband Bill were over the moon excited when they finally got pregnant after more than a year of trying to conceive. She reflects back on the pregnancy being difficult from the very beginning. She experienced very heavy bleeding and found out she had a subchorionic hematoma. She went into preterm labor at 19 weeks and delivered her son, Emerson.
Listen as Jessica shares her pregnancy and delivery of her daughter, Freya. Jessica had a healthy pregnancy until she was 19 weeks gestation. At that point she began bleeding fairly heavily. Her doctors told her they suspected a placental abruption. From 19 weeks to 23 weeks gestation, Jessica was in and out of the hospital multiple times due to her heavy bleeding. At 23 weeks 3 days, Jessica went into preterm labor and Freya was born on January 12, 2023.
Listen as Maci shares her daughter Luna with us. Luna was born in March of 2021. She had a textbook pregnancy and delivery. Maci and her husband's lives were flipped upside down when at two months old, Luna was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. She fought hard, but in December 2021, Luna passed away.
Listen as Courtney shares what it was like to find out her daughter, Celeste, did not have a heartbeat at 22 weeks gestation. In 2021, in the midst of the pandemic, she attended her 22 week anatomy scan alone. At that appointment she was told her baby no longer had a heartbeat. Listen as Courtney shares that experience and giving birth to her daughter Celeste who was stillborn.
Listen as Regina shares her sweet Reina with us. Regina went into preterm labor at 25 weeks and delivered Reina. Only six days before her delivery, Regina found out her baby had down syndrome. After birth, Reina had to have surgery to repair her PDA valve. The surgery was successful, but her little lungs had become cystic. She fought hard and lived for 69 on life support.
Thank you Regina for sharing your sweet Reina with our listeners.
Listen as Morgan shares what it was like to experience two stillbirths in less than a year. Morgan and her husband Jason were overjoyed when they got pregnant right after getting married. Her pregnancy was very smooth until her 20 week ultrasound when she was told her baby didn't have a heartbeat. She was induced and her son, Harrison, was stillborn. After testing, they found out Morgan had experienced a Triploid Pregnancy which is a rare genetic condition that causes the baby to have extra chromosomes in their cells.
Longing to start their family, with the clear from their doctor, they got pregnant again right away. Right after her 20 week ultrasound she went into preterm labor and gave birth to her daughter Harper who didn't have a heartbeat.
Listen as Allie shares losing her twins, Sunny and River, in an early term miscarriage. Allie and her boyfriend, Matt, were ecstatic when they found out they were expecting because they truly though that they were unable to get pregnant. As a twin herself, Allie was not necessarily shocked when she discovered she was expecting twins, she was just overjoyed at the thought of becoming a mom. However, all of her joy turned to sorrow the very next day when she miscarried.
For this episode, we asked our friends from the Guys and Grief to spearhead the Father's Day Episode. Guys and Grief is geared toward fathers that have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. The Podcast is meant to provide a platform to talk about the under-resourced, and often undiscussed, perspective of men that have experienced child loss.
Created by 3 close friends - Brad who experienced multiple pregnancy losses, Brandon who lost a child to stillbirth, and Brian who lost a child to SIDS - the guys share stories and challenges, as well as laughs and a few tears, as they navigate helping men honor their children, deal with grief, support their family, and try find better days ahead.
On this episode we welcome our guest, Amy Watson. Amy is a coach for loss moms, but also a loss mom herself. She has six living children and on this episode we meet her babies Lauren who was stillborn at 39.5 weeks gestation and River who she lost at 14 weeks gestation.
If you'd like to learn more about Amy and Smooth Stones Coaching, visit smoothstonescoaching.com.
Listen as Karina shares what it was like to lose her son, Ari, at 39 weeks 3 days gestation. He passed due to hypoxia ischemic encephalopathy caused by a double nuchal cord. Karina had to have an emergency c-section. Ari was resuscitated at birth, but was never able to fully recover and passed early the next day.
Listen as Katie shares her story. Due to PCOS, she had fertility issues so she and her husband, Josh, were over the moon when they found out they were expecting. Little did she know at the time, she was actually pregnant with twins! She had a smooth pregnancy until she was about 19.5 weeks gestation and went into preterm labor.
Listen as Alyssa shares her babies Alexander and Devin with us. Alyssa found out she was pregnant in 1997 with her son, Alexander. At a routine doctor's appointment at 26 weeks gestation they were having trouble detecting Alex's heartbeat. They sent her to the hospital for a sonogram and she was told Alexander no longer had a heartbeat. In 2002, Alyssa got pregnant again with twins. She lost her twins at 12 weeks gestation. Alyssa's third pregnancy was with her daughter, Adrianna, who is still living today. When her daughter was about two, Alyssa found out she was pregnant with her son Devin. At a routine appointment, the doctors could not find Devin's heartbeat.
Tracy and Julie talk through five ways you can cope this Mother's Day. This list of ways to cope doesn't just apply to Mother's Day or holidays, but any day for that matter. Self-care is such an important part of your grief journey.
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Give yourself permission to feel your emotions.
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Find a positive outlet for your feelings.
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Avoid social media or other triggers.
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Plan a ME day.
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Reach out to family, friends or other loved ones.
Listen as Brooke shares her daughter Sloane with our listeners. Brooke and her husband started the IVF process in the midst of the pandemic and got pregnant right away. At her anatomy scan, she was told Sloane had a tumor and a lot of fluid around the her heart. She was later diagnosed with a Pericardial Teratoma, a very rare tumor that arise from the sac lining of the heart.
Listen as Mara shares what it was like to lose her son Arro at 41 weeks gestation due to a placental abruption. Mara was having a very healthy pregnancy and at 41 weeks gestation she decided to begin natural induction methods. She went into labor soon after and labored for about 16 hours when they suddenly couldn't find a heartbeat.
Listen as Janet shares what it was like to experience multiple losses of her twin sons Emmett & Wyatt. Janet was excited when found out she was pregnant with identical twins, however her excitement turned to fear when she went into preterm labor at 23 weeks 4 days.
Listen as Larissa shares the tragic loss of her son Zuri. She had to go to the hospital for kidney stones, which she had multiple times before, at 26 weeks gestation. Within minutes of arrival to the hospital, the doctors decided she needed an emergency c-section.
One of our favorite guests, Pam Presler, LCSW, CPLC shares the importance of naming your loss baby and how important it is for your grief journey.ย
Listen as Tricia shares what it was like to experience three miscarriages resulting in the loss of her babies Alex, Taylor and Fiona. ย Her first two losses were early term miscarriage. Her third loss occurred when she found out she was pregnant with twins, but then found out one of the babies no longer had a heart beat.ย
Listen as Sydney shares what it was like to lose her daughter, Lilly, to an early term miscarriage. Her loss occurred while she was a college student in an abusive relationship.ย
Trigger Warning This episode discusses domestic violence.ย
Listen as Sam shares her early-term loss with us. Since she was so excited to get pregnant with her second child, she found out immediately at four weeks gestation that she was pregnant with Angel Baby D. At about eight weeks gestation she had a questionable sonogram and later that week ended up losing her baby.ย
Listen as Jen shares her roller coaster of a grief journey. ย In this episode she discusses medical diagnoses, her struggles to get pregnant and then what if felt like losing her daughter Hope at 8 weeks gestation.ย
Listen as Chloe shares what it was like to lose her daughter Adalyn at 17 weeks. Chloeโs pregnancy was normal until she suddenly got very sick and was diagnosed with Listeria, which was what caused her to go into preterm labor. Her grief journey led her to start The Adalyn Rose Foundation in her daughter's memory.ย
Listen as Kelli shares what it was like to lose her twin babies, Kellan & Katerina, at twenty weeks gestation. Kelli was in a terrible car accident at twenty weeks that caused her to go into labor.ย
Thank you, Kelli, for sharing your heart with us on today's episode. Your babies are so loved and missed every single day.
Listen as Leslie shares what it was like to lose her daughter, Josephine Camile, at twenty six weeks gestation. The pregnancy was smooth sailing until she was about twenty five weeks and started having vision problems.ย
Thank you, Leslie, for sharing Josie with our listeners. You are not alone.
Listen as Sarah shares what it was like to experience an early-term pregnancy loss in January 2021.ย
If you would like to connect with Sarah, you can email her at sarah@pregnancyafterlossdoula.com.ย
Instagram: @pregnancyafterlossdoula
Listen as Christina shares what it was like to lose her daughter, Harper, at forty weeks and three days gestation. After Harper was born still, Christina and her husband Gavin were told there was a true knot in Harper's cord and wrapped around her neck twice.ย
Listen as Becky shares her multiple losses with us. A 7-week gestation loss and a 15-week gestation loss.ย
Listen as Molly shares what it was like to deliver her son Beckham on November 8th, 2019, after receiving the news that he had a life-limiting diagnosis.
Listen as Miranda shares what it was like to experience a twin loss. Levi and Luca passed away 24-48 hours after one another. Levi died from a surgery Miranda had to get and Luca was stillborn.
Listen as Jaime shares her feelings about getting the diagnosis of Down Syndrome and delivering Josiah preterm at 25 weeks gestation. Josiah lived for 21 days and passed away on November 15th, 2020. Jaime pumped her breast milk for six months and gave back to families in honor of Josiah. That is just the beginning of how she has shown up as his mother.ย
Listen as Brad and Jessica share their story about recurrent pregnancy loss. Suffering from early-term pregnancy loss to still birth. ย
Be sure to tune into Guys & Grief in January 2023!
Through the different stages of grief, there are many ways you will remember your baby. And it most likely could change every year. Listen as we share some ways the four of us remember our 15, 8, 6, and 1 year old this season.ย
As we head into the holiday season, listen as Tracy and Julie talk with two other loss moms. Payton, who lost her daughter Rudy and Carol, who lost her daughter ย Johanna about what the holidays look like right now and how each year of grief is different.ย
Listen as Hailey shares what it was like to lose her daughter Hayden at 17 weeks gestation. After Hailey lost Hayden she wanted to create a community for loss moms to gather on Instagram. She started @heylossmama and has quickly grown her following!! Head over to Instagram and give her a follow.
๐ท๐๐ข ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข | ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ | ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ฏ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฎ: @๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด๐ฎ๐ข๐ฎ๐ข
Listen as we talk with Scott and Sarah Stoops about what it was like to go through multiple pregnancy losses. Losing Celeste from an early term loss and Dexter at 18 weeks and 3 days. ย
Listen as Allysa shares about how hard it was to conceive and how much this baby was wanted and loved. Allysa and her husband Evan lost their sweet baby at 8 weeks and 2 days.
Listen as Shannon shares about her two early team pregnancy losses and what it was like losing her son Giovanni and 36 weeks gestation.ย
Listen as we talk with Brandy, Director of Postpartum at BirthRoot Community Doula Alliance. We discuss all things doula and postpartum care.ย
Listen as we talk with our LCSW Pam Presler about how to communicate with families on the topic of loss.ย
If you are interested in speaking with Pam, please reach out to pamelapresler@gmail.comย
Listen as Shanti shares what it was like to start a new job, while losing her pregnancy and getting covid.ย
Listen as Brandon and Autumn talk about what it was like losing their son Bastion at 37 weeks pregnant. They are also the founders of Still Loved Foundation and Autumn is in the process of writing a book called In Memory of You, a baby loss journal.
Pre-Order In Memory of You
Still-Loved Foundation
Listen as Elise shares what it was like to lose both of her babies close to the same gestation. Sam Jr passed away at 22 weeks on March 7th, 2015 and Evalena passed away at 23 weeks and 4 days on November 27th, 2020.ย
Listen as one friend loses her daughter, Luna on Christmas day. And how the other friend just wants to step up and help.
Aloha 'Oe Book on Amazon by Stephanie Solomon
Listen as Tracy and Julie talk 'all things walk' related! From what to expect to why it's important to attend.ย
Listen as Megan shares her daughter Aria with us. Aria passed away at 15 months on May 27th, 2016.
Follow Megan on instagram: @cultivatedfamily
Listen as Kelly shares what she went through while experiencing a ruptured, ectopic pregnancy.ย
Last week you had a chance to listen to Ryans wife, Nicole talk about what it was like losing Louis at 31 weeks gestation. This week we will listen to Louis's Dads side of the story.ย
Happy Father's Day to all of the dads in the loss community.ย
Listen as Leanna shares Brooklyn with us and what it was like to lose her at 22 weeks.
Happy Birthday Brooklyn, you are missed and loved by so many!ย
Listen as Jenny shares her sweet baby girl, Lila with us. And how she continues to remember Lila after losing her.ย
Listen as Heather shares about losing her son Jude to stillbirth and other pregnancies.ย
Listen as Mackenzie shares about losing her son to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) at 38 days old.ย
Listen as Jaclyn shares about her early-term pregnancy losses and how she wrote a book to help other loss parents.
A Loss Misunderstood: Healing Your Grieving Heart After Miscarriage
Listen as Khristina talks about what it was like to lose Jacob at 20 weeks gestation.ย
If you are interested in donating to the Jacob William Bowman Fund, please write a check out to The Erie Community Foundation and in the memo line please put Jacob William Bowman Fund. any amount will help this fund be established
Mail donations to:
**The Erie Community Foundation
459 W. 6th Street
Erie, PA 16507**
Listen as we chat with Pam Presler about what it is like for moms dealing with Pregnancy after Loss.ย
Listen to how Amanda and Paytons stories collide and what it is like to work with someone who understands your day to day emotions after loss.ย
Listen as we talk with Jennifer from Australia about infertility, surrogacy, and loss.ย
Listen as Kylie shares with us about losing her daughter Hope. And the scary medical attention Kylie needed during and after delivery.ย
Listen as we talk about myths about pregnancy and more with Midwife, Margaret Boyd!
If you have any questions that you would like Peggy to answer, email us and we will ask her on her next podcast recording.ย
Thank you Peggy for sitting with us and educating our listeners!
Listen as Yvonne shares her son Nicholas with us. Nicholas was born with Early Epileptic Encephalopathy / Ohtahara Syndrome, a rare syndrome associated with intractable seizures, severe cognitive/physical impairment, and poor prognosis. Nicholas passed away at 6 months old in the arms of his loving parents.ย
Listen as Erica shares about losing Dillon to a diagnosis and twins Jacob and Luke to having no cervix at 20 weeks.
Another year has gone by which means you are another year further from the last time you heard a heartbeat or saw your baby. Listen as Tracy and Julie walk through the emotions of this together.ย
Listen as Tracy and Julie talk about ways to honor your babies this holiday season. And discuss ways to respond to hurtful comments or questions during the holidays.ย
LCSW, Pam Presler is back with Tracy and Julie to talk all things Self Care throughout the holiday season.ย
If you are interested in connecting with Pam, please email her at pamelapresler@gmail.com or calling her office at 814-455-1301.
Listen as Tracy and Julie encourage you to make a Winter BucketList. From building a snowman to having breakfast for dinner, we can't wait to see what you choose to add to your list. OH! And don't forget about the Puzzle Challenge!
Tune in next week for another Holiday Episode!ย
Listen as Tracy and Julie speak with LCSW, Pam Presler about how to deal with holiday anxiety after loss.ย
If you would like to connect with Pam, please email her at pamelapresler@gmail.com or call her office to set up an appointment at 814-455-1301.
Jackie shares her babies with us and talks about her reoccurring pregnancy loss over the years.
If you would like to connect with Jackie, please reach out to Julie@emmasfootprints.com
Listen as Misty shares Steele with us and what it was like losing him at 20 weeks gestation.ย
Listen to how Tica joined Emma's Footprints and how BirthRoot was born!ย
If you're interested in getting in contact with Tica, please email her at tica@emmasfootprints.com.
For more information about BirthRoot, head to their Facebook page or website!
If you are interested in becoming a bereavement doula or have questions for Ashley, email her at ashleym@emmasfootprints.com.
Listen as Ashley shares her story about losing her son Joey at 19 weeks and 4 days gestation.ย
To connect with Ashley, you can email her at ashleym@emmasfootprints.com
Listen as Betsy shares what she has done to overcome the thought of FEAR. How it can be consuming when trying to conceive and be a supportive spouse.
Purchase Fear Less on Amazon!
Listen as Taylor shares about losing her 11-month-old son, Finn tragically.ย
Taylor's Book: My Loved One Is In Heaven
Listen as we talk with Emma's Footprints - Director of Support, Falon Gervais and the loss of her son Owen during a complicated labor.ย
If you are interested in joining Emma's Footprints monthly support group, please head to our Facebook or Instagram for more details or email julie@emmasfootprints.com
Riki shares Eleanor with our listeners and what it was like to get a life limiting diagnosis, make hard decisions as a parent and hear that their baby didn't have a heartbeat.
We encourage you to create a team or join one for this years Memorial Walk on Saturday, October 9th at Penn State Behrend. If you aren't local to Erie, PA that's ok! We still want to support you even if you are far away!ย
Create a Team Here! Questions? Contact Julie@emmasfootprints.com or reach out to us on our Facebook or Instagram Account!
Listen as Tyler and Sara talk about the loss of their son Oliver at 33 weeks gestation.ย
Parris Baker (Father, Spouse, Pastor, College Professor and so much more) shares about his losses and how it shaped him into the person he is today.
If you have been touched by Parris's story, you can reach out to him at BAKER002@gannon.edu.
Jessica shares what it was like to be a hospice nurse for 11 years but wasn't prepared at all for the loss of her own son.ย
Happy Nurse's Week!ย
Listen as Mom & Nurse, Kary, shares about losing her son Luke to trisomy 18 and life as a Labor and Delivery Nurse.ย
Julie and Tracy chat with Co-Founder, Kristen Banocy about how friends can help during loss.ย
Listen as we talk with Courtney about the tragic loss of her father and then a couple weeks later, losing her son to SIDS.ย
Listen to Ryan, Founder of Grady's Decision, talks about how Grady's started and learn more about their mission.ย
Grady's Decision Facebook
Grady's Decision Website
Contact Grady's here!
Listen as we talk with Ryan about the journey of infertility to loss. He opens up and shares his twin miracles with us, Grady and Gianna.ย
Grady's Website
Grady's Poem
Stacy shares how her excitement around pregnancy quickly changed into sadness, how joy has been brought back into her life and how she is excited about her future.ย
Listen as we ask our LCSW, Pam Presler some questions from our listeners. If you have questions for Pam that you would like answered, please send them to julie@emmasfootprints.com. Or if you are interested in a session with Pam, please don't hesitate to reach out to us. We can point you in the right direction.ย
Listen as loss mom, Sharon Ross, shares her story about bringing Alice into this world, what that looked like for her family and how they remember Alice today.ย
Listen as Joe Mineo, talks about the loss his family experienced in 1986. He also shares the memories of losing his granddaughter, Josephine.ย
Alison shares about the loss of your son, Connor. He will be 24 this year.
For more information:
https://alison-jacobson.com/
https://firstcandle.org/
Pregnancy after loss can be an emotional journey. Listen as Tracy and Julie give their views on how they handled their pregnancies after loss.ย
Listen as we interview our first couple. Colleen and Oriana talk about what that day was like and how they remember Robin to this day.ย
Listen as Jake talks about their losses and the everyday battle of showing up when life is hard.ย
Toby's Mom, Katie Stern, shares with us how The Little Fox Foundation started and what they provide for families.
The Little Fox Foundation Website
https://www.facebook.com/thelittlefoxfoundation
https://www.instagram.com/thelittlefoxfoundation/
Listen as loss mom, Katie Stern, shares her story with us and the day she lost Toby to SIDS.ย
Welcome to Season 2 of Confessions of a Grieving Mother! We wanted to kick this 2021 off with a new season AND Emma's Dad, Bryan Dailey!
Listen as we interview our first dad on this podcast and what loss looks like through his eyes.ย
2020 is a wrap (well almost). For some, it was a terrible year, for others it was another year without their baby. We hope you take away something from this podcast to help your vision for 2021. Take a step forward in your grief journey, maybe find a support person. ย Whatever 2021 looks like, we will be right here with you.
It's Christmas Eve. We want to share tips on what grieving people wish their family or friends knew at Christmas.ย
Be kind to yourself. Show yourself some grace. And remember the tips that Pamela Presler shared about creating a safe place this holiday.ย
Grieving during the holidays is hard work. We don't want you to forget how important it is to self care this month! Listen as we laugh and share what our self care tips look like during this season.
LCSW, Pamela Presler is back to help us with finding the words to communicate during the holidays.ย
If you are interested in setting up a session with Pam, you can reach her at (814) 455-1301 or by email at pamelapresler@gmail.com.
We know the holidays are tough but we want you to know you are not alone. Listen as Tracy and Julie share tips all month on how to remember your babies, celebrate them, communicate your grief, self care and more.
We are so glad you are here.ย
Happy Thanksgiving!
Listen as Military wife, Erin Richer shares her loss story. And also shares how her relationship with Jesus helped her during her journey.ย
Josie, Labor and Delivery Nurse and Bereavement Coordinator on her floor. She talks to us about her position at the hospital and how it has transformed the past couple of years.
Bereavement Coordinator, Loss Mom, and Bereavement Doula; Meghan Slater shares her loss story and where it has led her to today. ย
Listen as our LCSW, Pam Presler shares tips and tools for grieving families.
Find us on Facebook (Emma's Footprints) and Instagram (@emmasfootprints)
Director of Bereavement, Amanda Berk, shares her story about her miscarriage and her daughter who had a life limiting diagnosis. ย
Co-Founders, Kristen Banocy and Tracy Dailey talk about how they met and created Emma's Footprints.